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Desi Boyz (2011)
Due to recession unemployment is
spreading like cancer.. .. In many countries. Bank of England's chief Merlyn drops economic bombshell. Everyone's crisis could become worse than the great depression. We end today's show with President Barack Obama's words on global crisis. He says, "These are hard times. " "There will be more jobs lost, more of closures and more pain. " Hi, you have reached Jerry Patel. If you're my landlord, I've already sent the money. If you're my parents, please send me some money. If you're my friends, you owe me money. And if you are a girl, don't worry. I have plenty of money. Where are you going, Jasmeet? Did you hear? They just sacked Jasmeet. I think they're picking on you brown guys. You will be the first to walk the gallows in this recession. Your parents are from Bhatinda. You live in South Hall. And I'm brown? That's racist man. - Exactly. Nicky boy. Big day. 'Finally! At least someone remembered my birthday. ' Here's your bonus. Thanks, Mr. Weisswork. Spend that bonus wisely. Hey, Paula. I'll pay you by the end of the month. Whatever. Hey, kiddo. You're not allowed to skate in here. Burglary on exit four. Kid on a skateboard heading your way. Jerry, watch your position. I'm on it. - Let's go. Give me the bag. Medicines. I swear my grandma needs these. Can't breathe without them. Please let me go. Punch me. - What? Punch me and run. On the face, you idiot.. I was ordered to fire one man from my team today. You made my job easier. Give me your badge. Bye, Jerry. That's mall property. Get off right now. Duffer. What's up, Graig. Surprise. Oh no. No, guys. The surprise isn't for him. False alarm. Guys, surprise. Come on. He's here. Surprise. What a party! Happy birthday, baby. - Thank you. I have been planning your party.. .. For the past two days. It got wasted on him. - It's okay, Rads. This is awesome. Thank you. I got it for you. At least he brought something. You know, Nick.. - Happy birthday, my brother.. .. From a hotter mother. Don't mess with him. When Nick came to college, Jerry was his senior. And when Nick graduated then also Jerry was his senior. Since then, they've been living together. They share everything. Except for responsibilities, bills and rent. And then, thank God for that. But I tolerate Jerry because.. .. If it wasn't for him, then three years ago.. .. Nick would have faced some problems in meeting me. Nine o'clock check. I have already noticed. She is waiting for someone. Sorry honey I am late. Sorry. Yeah, but look at her, J. - Forget it. How? Alcohol. Perfect. Jessica. Send your finest bottle of Chardonnay to that Indian girl there. Sure. Give me the 200 pounds. Why are you wasting money? And anyway, she is with someone. She is with a foreigner. This will go on for two-three months, maximum. As soon her parents find out.. .. They will get her married to some boring.. .. Microsoft techie type guy.. .. Who has more money and less hair. Think Of it, J. If I don't go to her.. .. How will she know what God has sent for her? I am the total package, J. Sorry, Superman. Your bottle got turned down. What? - Your package got rejected. By the way, Nick. You are right. How will she know what God has sent for her? What are you thinking about? That girl's future lies in your hands. Go get her. Go. And listen, don't come back empty-handed. He'll get bashed up. If you spend all the time with your brother.. .. Then how will the other boys get a chance? - Excuse me. Do you know him? - No. That's what I am here to change. Just tell me are you going to marry him? Please leave us alone. If you're not going to marry him.. .. Then let me take you out to dinner tonight. - That's it. Brian. I am 6 ft. and you look 5 ft. 8, we will look great together. I don't believe this guy. Tell him to stop speak in Hindi. Brian, that's it. After we get married, we'll have a house in Hampton.. .. Two cars, two children. And a doggy. The perfect life. How many girls have you tried this stunt with? Are you flirting with him? Honestly, I'm a very boring person. No one inspired me to resort to such madness. You are the first. Brian. Brian, what are you doing? What's wrong with you? "What's wrong with me?" What's wrong with you? What are you doing with the poor guy? He's bleeding. Radhika, whose side are you on? You know, you are a witch. Talk respectfully. She is my sister-in-law. Losers. One day this will make a great flashback. That was the first and last time.. .. When Jerry did something nice for me. Don't waste beer. Come with me. - Pathetic. Where are we going? I'm tired of tolerating your attitude and tantrums. It's always "Do this, do that". What the hell, Nick! First of all this party.. - Rads, shut up. I was told that this is very rare and unique. But not more than you. I have never come across anyone.. .. More stubborn, tall and beautiful.. - There is, Nick. I know many of them. What are you doing? Will you marry just about anyone? Don't be lazy. You can do better than this. Focus. Do you want to spend your entire life with Jerry or me? Radhika Awasthi, will you marry me? - No, no, no. Nick Mathur. - No, no, no. Say no. Yes. Come on, J. Look here. Jignesh. Jignesh. Get up. Not, Jignesh. It's Jerry, mother. Fifteen years ago I changed that name.. .. When I boarded the plane. Get used to it, mother. I am Jerry. Jignesh is dead. Really, mother. it's not that difficult. Jignesh turned to Jerry. Jerry is Jignesh. Yes, mother. Yes, mother. I bought a car. That too a convertible. Your son drives to the office breathing fresh air. "Let it be. Let it be. Let it be. " "Let there be a twist in the story. " "I have this right. Give me a chance, life. " I love her, J. - I love her, too. Shut up. I don't care what problems the two of you have. Sort it out. The problem is with you, Nick. Whenever she looks at you she imagines a house. She imagines the Country Club membership. A chauffeur-driven car. Private education for her children. I don't think you're her boyfriend. She thinks you are a LIC agent. She doesn't see a house, but our house. Not her children, but the future of our children. This is our dream. So for God's sake, brother.. .. Don't ruin it. LIC agent? What am I in your life? An ATM card with unlimited credit. Oh yes, I just remembered. The debit card is exhausted. Deposit some money. You know you are being laid off when your boss says.. .. "We need to talk" or "Times are tough" or.. Nick, this company cannot afford you.. .. Due to the current economy. I am sorry. We'll have to let you go. But just yesterday Mr. Weisswork gave me a bonus. And that's why the company has fired him as well. And who are you? - Your new boss. Sorry, ex-boss. Nick. Nick. Are you fine? That bonus.. spend it wisely. Do you know anything about DBS return policy? You will get one week off in a year. No bonus. If you come late, your salary will be deducted. You will have to laugh at the boss's jokes. And yes, you do have knowledge about.. .. PowerPoint and Excel, don't you? Ma'am, I don't think you have read my resume properly. I am not applying for a typist's job. This is a really bad phase. Tomorrow you might not get this as well. Sorry, I am over-qualified for this job. Who is behind you? Who is this gentleman? Madam, I don't need a single holiday in a year. I don't want a bonus. I will laugh at the boss's jokes. In fact, I will amuse him. He will teach me PowerPoint and Excel. You can teach me some small things. So, do I get the job? I am sorry, but you are under-qualified for this job. Say it. - What is your problem? Fine, I am over-qualified for this job. But my friend is perfect for this job. Please leave, gentlemen. This interview is over. By the way, madam, what are your qualifications? Tell us. - Get out of my office. Fine. At least tell us your measurements. Get out right now. They are very popular hot destinations. Nick, I think we should get the bookings done soon. Otherwise we won't get tickets later. Look. 'How do I tell her that I don't have money.. ' '.. to even take the subway? 'Just give me a hint.. ' '.. and I will steal the ring from her finger in some dark alley. ' 'People get mugged all the time. ' Nick, this gown is perfect, isn't it? The price tag's much more beautiful. It's a Valentino, my favorite designer. 'Promise me that while stealing the ring.. ' '.. you won't hurt her. ' 'I can try, but I won't promise. ' 'Forget it. I'll try something. ' Rads, we are blindly doing everything that others do. What? - I mean a fake, over-the-top wedding.. .. And then a fairytale honeymoon. These things give one such high expectations that.. .. Real life just can't match up. That's why marriages breakup. 'And Nick Mathur hits that for a six. ' 'Don't go out of the crease and bat. You will get out. ' I agree. A reception at a five-star hotel and hours of sitting.. .. On those stupid stools, while we keep smiling for hours. Yes. And, Radhika, what about your father.. .. Who will run after the car like a lunatic saying.. ".. My daughter, my daughter?" That.. think. My God! I can actually see that. Rads, shall we run away and get married? I love it. I love you. - I love you, too. Okay. So a small ceremony. - Super. And then a long exotic honeymoon. Just you and me, alone. For a change. And then as soon as we return.. .. I'll redecorate the entire house. French windows there. A bar on that side. A study for you upstairs. And a king-size master bedroom. Life is just going to be perfect. The poor girl doesn't know that.. .. Our apartment is going to be redecorated anyway. "We would watch films. Sing few songs. " "What happened to those nights when we used to instantly fall asleep?" "We would watch films. Sing few songs. " "What happened to those nights when we would instantly fall asleep?" "When we used to fail and face the brunt together. " "When we used to fail and face the brunt together. " "We didn't have a penny, yet we would somehow dare to. " "What happened to those nights when we used to instantly fall asleep?" Veer. - You forgot to pay my fees again, didn't you? If I had paid your fees then I wouldn't have met you. Did you have your breakfast? - No. Want some scolding? Go. Meet Fatty. I can endure Fatty and her temper, but not your anger. Look. Now your holidays have started. I want you to tell me your plans.. .. What you want to do during your holidays. Understand? Until then, I will kiss Fatty. Kiss Fatty. You would rather kiss me. - Okay. Good luck, Jerry. Jerry, I'm afraid things have become a little more serious.. .. Than you expected. This is Vikrant Mehra from Social Services. From today I am handling Veer's case. Veer is not some case. Mr. Patel, please don't interrupt me. I am here on behalf of the government. After the death of your sister and her husband.. .. Veer's legal custody was given to you.. .. Only because you would fulfill that duty responsibly. But I am afraid due to your fluctuating jobs.. .. And financial status.. .. Veer's file is getting quite fat. Jerry, you haven't paid his school fees for the past four months. Four months, Mr. Patel. It cannot be ignored. I am not ignoring him. Yes, I have been a little late in paying his fees. But I assure you that.. .. I won't repeat this mistake. I just need some time. And we are giving you that time. But for the last time. And that is only thanks to Mr. Brown and Veer's advice. Thank you, sir. - But after the holidays.. .. If you can't fulfill Veer's basic expenses.. .. Then we will start looking for another family.. .. A foster home for him. - What? Foster family. Why? I am Veer's family. I.. - Mr. Patel, please. Maybe you are forgetting that Veer is a child, not me. I hope that you won't break Veer's trust. See you after the holidays. Two weeks. Mr. Brown. Sorry, Mr. Mathur. We aren't hiring right now. Mr. Mathur, there are no job openings in our company. Radhika, I need to talk to you urgently. Something happened in my office and.. - Nick.. .. I'm going to India tomorrow. so first some fresh gossip. Priya-Prashant broke up. What? But they were supposed to get married next week. Prashant got fired and Priya got cold feet. So will Priya marry Prashant or his job? That's exactly what I told her. I mean she can work as well. - I can't believe it. When Prashant needed her the most, she left him. There must have been parental pressure from the beginning. She might be thinking practically as well. Everyone has some dreams for themselves. After all, one can't live on love alone. Oh, so people should fall in love.. .. Only when they can afford food. Come on, Nick. There is nothing wrong in wanting a nice, comfortable life. You can't eat chicken roll for the rest of your life. "From where to bring courage when there is not a penny in my pocket?" "Where did those nights vanish when I would fall asleep in an instant?" "I would watch movies and sing songs. " Jerry, cookies. Here you go. Oops. Sorry. What a pity. All the good men are married. He is Jerry Patel, single. Quiet, my Facebook profile. Call me. Now you will have to buy this box. Cool. That will be 15 pounds. Brother, I'm short of four. Jerry, I don't want cookies. Mom says they give you cavities. What are you looking at? - Nothing. Do you like video games? - It's awesome, Jerry. Daniel, this game for Christmas. And I always come first in car racing. Wow! Show me your hands. Take this. - Wow! Cookies. Bills. Bills. Job rejections. Job rejections. Rent. Rent. And a letter from your mother. Jiggu, a letter from your mother. I get it. 'Jiggu, a letter from your mother. ' Look, I have only two weeks to pay Jerry's school fees. Look, J. I lost the money that I invested in the stock market.. And my savings were spent in paying the rent and expenses. Nick, you don't understand. The Social Service people.. .. Will hand over my Veer to a foster family. I cannot lose Veer, Nick. Don't even think like that, Jerry. We will figure something out. Nick, I was thinking why don't you take up some small jobs like me? Drive a taxi. Sell pirated DVDS. I am an MBA from the London School of Economics. If I take up such jobs, what's the point of my degree? Degree. Degree. Degree. What is the difference between you and me today? Tell me. What is the difference? Today your Mercedes and my cycle.. .. Are standing at the signal of recession. Mr. Mathur, you and I.. are same. We are on the same level. Bragging about his degree. J, if one door has closed on us, another one will open up.. .. Where we will make money and retain our honor as well. J, I don't think we should go inside. Like you said, Nick.. .. If one door closes, the other one opens up itself. Come on. I have seen enough. - Nick, stop. If you didn't want to stay then why did you come? Don't you want to know why I gave you my card? Welcome, boys. Instead of sitting at the bar and crying like girls.. .. Take a look at yourselves in the mirror. You two have it in you. But don't have the brains to recognize it. I have three branches, London, New York and Tokyo. I am having some license troubles in Mumbai. Here's the form. That's the door. It's your choice. Chest. Biceps. Size. Fantastic career move. Super plan. I am waiting outside. - Nick. Nick. He's slightly crazy. The poor guy's in love. He is in love. What is love. Baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me no more. You are in love too. The only difference is he is standing outside for his love.. .. And you.. will fill this form. Name, Jerry Patel. Chest.. Biceps.. - 20 Mine. Yours are 16. Size, 11. Sexual preference. Female. - Good. Obviously female. Sir, let me sign. - No need for that. Like I said.. .. You just need to be recognized. From today you are Rocco. You have all the qualifications of an escort. Sir, what will I have to do? You will spread happiness.. Is Santa Claus on a holiday? .. To lonely, sad and bored women. Make them forget the problems of their life for a while.. .. And you will make them happy. It may be shopping. And then a bit dinner. Or making her boyfriend jealous. Or taking girls to the cinema. - Right. You will get the time and address on this. Okay. - Got it. Get used to the new name. I am Rocco. I am Rocco. From Jignesh to Jerry. And now Rocco. The standard of your name is falling lower. Oh, your principles, your rules. Your principles can't get us a decent square meal, Nick. How can you joke about it, Jerry? How could you fill that form? It's nothing. I just had to write my upper-body measurement.. .. And my shoe-size. That's all. If you wrote down your shoe size.. .. Then there is going to be a long line of girls. Hello. - Ritz hotel. Room 136. 7 o'clock. Jignesh Patel, get up. There's a message for your shoes. She will tell you the means of her happiness. And you will decide the limits of her happiness. The smaller the limits, the more the money. My name is Rocco, and I am here to spread happiness. Perfect. I have heard that male escorts are naughty, not shy. I'm getting married next week. So I thought I deserved some fun. So, Rocco. What's the first item on the fun menu? Madam, there wouldn't be any dearth of happiness in your life. For fun we can go for shopping, have dinner, and go to the cinema.. I am not paying you 400 pounds to take me to a movie. We all have a right to celebrate our freedom, right. Paying hard to get home. Your husband is calling. Amit. Yes, I'm taking the morning flight. Yes, please send the driver on time. Okay. Talk to you later. Whether I am single, divorcee or the mother of six children.. .. It shouldn't make any difference to you. Sorry, but I can't do this. What the hell! I'm going to complain to your agency. Jerry, you won't leave me like my parents, will you? No, son. Never. I'll never leave you. How can I leave you? I promise. Take this. I swear on Iron Man. You swear on Iron Man? Yes. I swear on Iron Man. Close your eyes. Come on. It's bad, but its business. There's a bachelorette party. Listen carefully. A girl's wedding day is the most important day of her life. But what's more important is the last night of her freedom. And you won't let this night come to an end. This is your last chance, Rocco. I know you won't listen to me. Even then, I'm saying stop. I know you won't listen to me.. .. But even then I'm saying, come with me. What do you think? Don't I love Veer? I know that we've been sitting idle in this house.. .. For the past three months. And you'll earn a lot of money with this job. But you're not that kind of a person, Jerry. What kind of a person are you talking about, Nick? The person who plays the sad songs.. .. On the subway benches because.. .. His seven-year-old child is growing up with some other family? That one? You are right. I am not that person. Look, I will take up that typist's job. You can talk to the restaurant manager. You might get that job. How long will we lie to ourselves, Nick? Today we don't even have the money.. .. To pay the rent of this apartment. Why don't you understand? Since college, I have failed in everything.. .. That you haven't supported me in. But I cannot fail today. It's okay if you aren't coming along. At least don't stop me from trying. Attention, ladies. I am inspector Rocco. And according to my investigations.. .. A serious crime is going to be committed here. A hot, single, innocent girl is about to get married. Where is she? I am Natasha Mehra. And I am that hot, single, innocent girl.. .. Who is about to get married. By the way, what will my punishment be, inspector? Natasha, you will have to spend the night in my jail. Will you punish all the girls? Alone? You will get tired, inspector. Batman is incomplete without Robin. Veeru is incomplete without Jai. Similarly, Hunter will surely come on Rocco's call. Even Rajnikant will clap on such a dialogue. "Make some noise for the Desi Boyz. " "The Boys. " "The Boys. " "Let's go. Come on. " "We will rule the hearts of the girls. " "That's the rumor. " "We will break even Romeo's record. " "Set new rules of love. " "Everyone says we are naughty. " "But we are decent at heart. " "Make some noise for the Desi Boyz. " "One two three go. " "Dancing on English beats. " "Swaying to the heartbeats. " "Jamming to the rhythm. " "The Desi Boyz. " "Looking all handsome and decent. " "With their broad chest and biceps. " "Jamming to the rhythm. " "The Desi Boyz. " "Dancing on English beats. " "Swaying to the heartbeats. " "Jamming to the rhythm. " "The Desi Boyz. " "Looking all handsome and decent. " "With their broad chest and biceps. " "Jamming to the rhythm. " "The Desi Boyz. " "We only spread love. " "The girls are always looking for us. " "They say Lady Gaga is our fan. " "Tell her to come and meet us sometime. " "Our only rule is to keep the girls happy. " "Make some noise for the Desi Boyz. " "One two three go. " "Dancing on English beats. " "Swaying to the heartbeats. " "Jamming to the rhythm. " "The Desi Boyz. " "Looking all handsome and decent. " "With their broad chest and biceps. " "Jamming to the rhythm. " "The Desi Boyz. " "We are quite good at doing mischief. " "it is our duty, whenever we see a girl. " "We always drop at home, never return late at night. " "Come dance with me. " "We are the weakness of girls, they squander all their wealth on us. " "The entire world quarrels over us. " "What did you see in us? Come, let's ask her too. " "Come dance with me. " "Everyone says we are naughty. " "But we are decent at heart. " "Make some noise for the Desi Boyz. " "One two three go. " "Dancing on English beats. " "Swaying to the heartbeats. " "Jamming to the rhythm. " "The Desi Boyz. " "Looking all handsome and decent. " "With their broad chest and biceps. " "Jamming to the rhythm. " "The Desi Boyz. " "We have seen in all the nooks and corners of the entire world. " "The Desi Boyz are the best. " "Raise your voices. " "Make some noises. " "We are here just for you. " "The Desi Boyz. " 800. 900. These are the fees, and this the rent. Desi Boyz is the only company that is recession-proof. Look, Jerry. Don't get so happy. And listen carefully. We have to follow three rules. Your rules, your principles. Listen, nothing else. Fine, next. Rule no 2. No one should know our real names. I was thinking of changing my name to Rocco permanently. Third rule. - Yes, third one. Radhika. Radhika should never find out about is. It's better that she finds out. She will leave you. This matter will end here. My husband. Thank you, for last night. Thank you, for last night. Thank you, for last night. But still, Jerry. Everyone's fathers will be talking about their jobs. What's this idea about giving an interview on Father's Day? If we were been in India.. .. It would've ended with a game of musical chair and snacks. But what is the problem, Jerry? You have paid my fees and now you also have a job. That's the problem, Shorty. What happened? Say something. I have a bet with Daniel. He keeps teasing me all the time. Today he will know that I have a dad as well. Thank you, Dr. Gibson. So, who is next? Mr. Patel. Would you like to tell the class about what you do? Since it's Father's Day I would like to talk.. .. In the language me and my son understand. If that is okay with you. - Sure, Mr. Patel. What do I tell you about my job, Veer? I don't hold a dignified job like the other parents. I am an ordinary man.. .. Who has done really ordinary jobs. But my recognition isn't from what I do but from you. I will happily take up any good or bad job.. .. So that you don't lack anything. You won't be ordinary like me. You can dream all you want. And I promise you, all your dreams will be fulfilled. Love you, my son. Love you Jerry. Don't cry. All the girls are watching. They will tease you all your life. Here, your PSP. - Wow! Mr. Patel, I don't think anyone needs a language.. .. To recognize love. Thank you for coming. - Pleasure. Rocco and Hunter have the longest clientele.. .. In the shortest time. Here's to the Desi Boyz family. Bottoms up. Delivery in 30 minutes or free. That's 20 quits for the pizza, right? This is for thinking I am a pizza delivery boy. And this is for stealing my daughter from me. Aren't you surprised to see us? - He is shocked. Come on, introduce us to your guests. And keep the change. I didn't know there is a party here. And who are these people? I have never met them before. Nothing, they are just colleagues, Rads. I thought we will meet at home. They will get to know each other. - Well done. 'Show her the new office along with the new colleagues. ' 'I will handle Radhika and you handle her dad. ' Daddy. Daddy. Relax, you are like so pretend. I am a little ticklish. So stop it please. Please. And leave you stressed out like this? No way. - Okay. Uncle, uncle. I am Jerry, Nick's friend. Nick's best friend. - Suresh Awasthi, nice to meet you. Radhika often talks about you. Wake me up, before you go. Go. No, no. Not now. Continue. You are priceless. Come on. Actually it's 200 pounds an hour. - What? What does Radhika say about me? Radhika says that you are a useless, insolent.. .. Ill-mannered man. By the way, I like people like you. - Thank you, uncle. Can I say something? Your daughter Radhika isn't like you at all. Son, God blessed Radhika with my looks.. .. But unfortunately with the brains of her mother. Cherry, hop on. Let's go for the ride of our life. Come on. Okay, Cherry. You don't look so heavy. Because it's not Cherry, it's Jerry. - Jerry. Here's your drink. - Thank you. You know what? Nick has the finest body at work. Excuse me. Finest body of work, Rads. My client's list is very impressive. Oh, they just love him. Don't be so modest, Nick. I see, and what do you do? I forgot to introduce you. Radhika is my girlfriend. - Fiance. Fiance? You are going to break a lot of hearts, Nick. She was flirting with you right before me. Girls are crazy about me. Jealous? I don't have a problem with that. Suresh Awasthi. And you are.. - It's not easy. It will take time. - I have all the time. I don't like empty glasses. - Sir. You must be Nick's boss. I can recognize a person's talent really well. Beautiful head. Baby oil. My company needs people like you. Thank you very much. By the way, I'm a retired gynecologist. You look really fit even after retirement. Do pay me a visit when you have the time. Here's my card. Sir, I will keep this card. Sir, your drink. He's a good boss. - Yes, sir. Baby oil. - Yes, sir. I like him. - I like him too. Ask your dad to stop hitting me. Sir, you aren't drinking anything. Sir? You are going to marry my daughter.. .. And you are calling me sir? Celebration time, friends. Hunter is going to get married. What a coincidence! Nick and Radhika are getting married as well. You will be happy to know that.. .. Your son-in-law has been promoted.. .. To the Platinum Club of our agency. A person can be recognized from the friends he keeps. I am proud of you. Can you feel love tonight. Darling, on the occasion of your wedding to Hunter.. .. The employees from our agency will dance for free. Meaning? - He means to say.. Everyone will dance freely, openly. In joy. Open. Open. Why is he calling you Hunter? Because he hunts his clients down, baby. I am so proud of you. Good choice. Salmon Lounge. 10:00 PM. Okay, we will be there. We? Both of us. Do you know Hunter and Rocco are so much in demand? I don't care. I can't handle this double life. I can't lie to Radhika. And finally I have lined up some decent interviews. I need a real job soon. 5000 pounds and.. - Tomorrow 10,000. The day after tomorrow 15. Vodka tonic for you. J, you are forgetting.. .. What we are losing to earn this money. What else do we have other than these biceps? I don't know about you but I have a lot of things. Paid Veer's fees, saved the house. Saved money for Radhika's wedding. Now find a suitable boy and get her married. Yes, and I will dance at her bachelorette party, right? Fantastic. Mind-blasting idea. Listen carefully. Hunter has retired. Hey listen. Listen. What are you doing? Hunter, you took up this job for me.. .. And I love you for that. - Get up, Jerry. I want to get Veer out of the boarding school.. .. And keep him with me. I know you can get a good job. And no need to be concerned about me. I can take up any job. But, Nick, our life will become normal. This is the start-up cost of a normal, simple life. I swear, on my mother. This is the last time. Always resorting to emotional dialogues. We are so compatible. Why don't you leave Radhika and marry me? Keep a distance from me. This is crazy. - What's so funny, guys? Rads, you have to check this out. He has the maximum hits on-line. "They call us Superman. " "Switch on your handy-cam. " "From AM to PM." "We are at your service ma'am. " "Don't let the night end. " "Don't let this meeting end. " "Don't let.. each other fall asleep. " "I love you. " "I love you immensely. " "Come into my arms, darling. " "Only for this night. " "Our attitude is rustic. " "You will be floored. " "Come into my arms, darling. " "Only for this night. " "Don't let the night end. " "Don't let this meeting end. " "Don't let.. each other fall asleep. " "You are my hero. " "You are my hero. " "Don't let the night end. " "Don't let this meeting end. " "Don't let.. each other fall asleep. " "I am your hero. " "I am your hero. " "Hero. " "I am your hero. " "I find you really hot. " "You look one in a million. " "Now I have the chance. " "We won't get this chance again. " "Give me the opportunity. " "Come and have some fun. " "Come into my arms, darling. " "Only for this night. " "Don't let the night end. " "Don't let this meeting end. " "Don't let... each other fall asleep. " "You are my hero. " "You are my hero. " "Don't let the night end. " "Don't let this meeting end. " "Don't let.. each other fall asleep. " "You are my hero. " "You are my hero. " "I am your hero. " "Listen, you rich girls. " "I am a pious man. " "I am everyone's friend. " "I have seen the world. " "We are the only good guys left. " "Girls are crazy about us. " "They squander their wealth on us. " "Life has brought us to a turn. " "To save myself I have to run. " "I said to my Lord. " "I said to him. " "Don't let the night end. " "Don't let the night end. " "Don't let this meeting end. " "Don't let.. each other fall asleep. " "You are my hero. " "You are my hero. " "Hero. " "I am your hero. " "I am your hero. " "You are my hero. " "You are my hero. " "They call us Superman. " "Switch on your handy-cam. " "From AM to PM." "We are at your service ma'am. " "Hero. " "You are my hero. " "You are my hero. " "You are my hero. " "You are my hero. " Rads, I know this looks bad. But I didn't sleep with any of them. Please listen to me. I was unemployed for three months. I didn't have money. I was about to lose my home. I thought I would lose you too if I tell you. You have already lost me, Nick. Or should I call you Hunter? Rads, I didn't want to lie to you. But how could I tell you the truth? You didn't consider me worthy of telling me the truth, Nick. God, who was I with for three years? - Rads, please.. I was going to spend my life with a stranger. At least you saved me from making that mistake. Radhika, please don't do that. Mr. Mehra, I can get a good job. - How? You are a college dropout. You can't stay long even on a small job. You had to become a male escort. After all, what options do you have? You see I can.. I can try and.. Jerry please. Please don't do this. Mr. Patel, you and I want the same thing. What's right for Veer. Jerry, there is a nice family who wants to adopt him. Veer has already lost his family. He won't endure this. Not just him, even I won't be able to endure this. Look, Jerry, if you want you can still rectify your mistake.. .. Just clean up your act. And four months later.. .. You can fight in the court for legal custody of Veer. But for now.. .. The department will keep Veer with a foster family. Shall we go home? Veer, I.. I'm going to India for a few days. You're lying. You'd promised that you would never leave me. I'm not leaving you. I'm going there only for a few days. And you know I have found a very big family for you. You will stay with them. This is just a small video game. They have a bigger video game. Bigger swimming pool. You can bring your friends there and play with them. You will have lots of fun. No, I don't want anything. I don't want the PSP. I won't ask for a cookies either. I will be a good boy. But you already are a good boy. Who said you are not a good boy? You are a very good boy. Then why does everyone leave me? And you are leaving me just like mom and dad. No, son. it's not like that. - No. don't go, Jerry. We need to go now, Mr. Patel. No, I'm not coming with you. Okay. When I come back, we'll live together. Understand. And this. Keep this phone with you. And this PSP. I'll call you every day from India. No, you are lying. I swear on Iron Man, okay. I'm sorry, sir. But we need to go now. Look after yourself. - Jerry. I'll call you every day. - Jerry. I'll call you every day. - Jerry, please. Please, stop him. But wish I could. Nick, what is this? What I should have done long ago. Then I might not have lost Radhika. Will she come back if I leave? - I don't know. But if you stay here then I will lose her forever. Nick, do you know what you are saying? Darn it, I was an investment banker. I had a promising future. I was not a shortcut expert like you. The truth is today I lost everything.. .. In my efforts to make you win. You turned me into you. Nick, you and I knew what we were doing was wrong. But for Veer.. - Where is Veer? Did you get Veer? You didn't bring him along? Veer. Veer. Where is he? Face it, Jerry. If you were really concerned about Jerry.. .. Then you would have understood long ago. That a person who isn't capable.. .. Of shouldering his own responsibility.. .. Can never handle the responsibility of a child. Stop it, Nick. Thank God, Jerry. They took Veer away from you. Maybe now he will have a better life.. .. Which you could never have given him. You have proved that Veer isn't your son. Stop it. Get out. My abs. Radhika. Radhika, I can't run early in the morning. Rads, listen to me. Rads, just stop. Rads. Rads. Radhika, I love you. Tired. In our times girls used to be so stubborn. But we knew how to appease them. What do think? Romeo used to beg like you do? There weren't male escorts either. And there's no use. Radhika doesn't love.. She still loves you. I understand her really well. I raised her and pampered her. So there's hope? - Of course there is hope. Good luck for winning my daughter's heart. Thank you, sir. - And this is for breaking her heart. Sorry. It's a father's right to slap you once. Otherwise her mother will feel bad. Miss you, Gayatri. Sorry, aunt. - Say "Sorry uncle". Sorry, uncle. - Yes. You won't get your love back.. .. By spending one night outside the house. Only the one who is ready to wait all his life outside the house.. .. Gets his love. Are you thinking what I am thinking? If you are thinking what I am thinking.. .. Then you are really intelligent. I really like you. - Uncle. No, no, not in that manner. My daughter likes you. Don't get ambitious. "Let it be, let it be, let it go now. " "I cried enough, now let me smile. " "I know that I deserve another chance. " "Let me rectify my mistake. " "Let me bring a twist to the story. " "I know that I deserve another chance. " "For the sake of my helplessness. " "For my sake. " "Just forsake your anger. "How long will you stay aloof from your kin. " Twelve years ago I made a big mistake. I left college. So I thought of rectifying my first mistake. And maybe everything else will get better itself. Jignesh, Jerry, Rocco. Three names, no job. Qualification, too low. Age, too old. Hello. Hi, I am Rohan. Your son Jerry's roommate. Hey, bro. You didn't tell me your dad's here. Oh no, this is Jerry's dad and not mine. Jerry's dad. - My new roommate. By the way, uncle, where is Jerry? Children, I am Jerry. No. No. No ways. - Such a big Jerry. Give your uncle a big hug. Now come on, let's take a bath together. No, no. - Come on, let's go. Let me put some shampoo on you. "A beautiful girl lives right in front of me. " Dad. - Why are you screaming, dear? I am right here. I came to have beer with him. Dad, call the police. He is illegally trespassing on our property. This is our parking space, dad. - Oh, God. Will you tell her or should I? - I will tell her. Dear, this morning I sold the parking space to him. Rads, dad needed the money. That's why I bought Fubu too. Fubu. - Baby. He is not like you. Once he gives a commitment.. .. He never breaks it. Dear, he has turned his bathroom into his drawing room.. .. And his drawing room into his bedroom. Disgusting fellow. And you are helping him? Unbelievable, dad. Rads. - Son, people often make such mistakes during recession. The only difference is that I sold him the parking lot.. .. And he took off his clothes. Silly boy. Nick. I think I will have to sleep here with you tonight. Uncle. - Don't get ambitious. Come on, get in. "Until I don't want. " "I will spend the night at your doorstep. " "I know that I deserve another chance. " Hello. - Jerry. Jerry is dead, mother. Jignesh. Your son, Jignesh. You woke up early today. Going to work. I lied to you, mother. I left my job. - What? And the car? I never had a car. I don't understand anything. Where are you, son? I am at the college, mother. - College. I am at the college, mother. You have become a teacher. Jiggu, what are you teaching? I am not teaching, I am learning. What are you learning at this age? I am learning to speak the truth. Jiggu. Are you fine? - I love you, mother. Sorry. I am Jerry. Hi, guys. I am Tanya Sharma. Your economics professor for this semester. Hotness. Wake up, guys. I know you had a long holiday. But a warmer welcome would be nice. If anyone had done this in your times.. .. He would have been thrown out of the class. Please get out of my class. Even in your times he has to stay out of the class. Not you. You. Out of my class. But I haven't done anything. I know what you have done. Out of the class. So class we begin with chapter one of Micro economics. Now I am back to complete my last semester. Excuse me. Oh sorry. - Sorry. Excuse me, professor. Can I know why you threw me out of the class? Because you didn't call back. When did you ask me to call back? - Twelve years ago. What do you mean by 12 years? When you used to make put in a proxy for you.. .. Copy my notes and during the exams.. .. Sit behind me and copy my paper in the senior years. Tanya Sharma. Even after that I failed. Here, here Tanya. Because you couldn't even copy properly. And you didn't even recognize me. How could I recognize you? You used to wear braces then. You've lost 50 kilos. The Tanya I knew used to be the model for XXL clothes. Now you are so unfit. Stop. You haven't changed at all. - Thank you. I am a bit confused. Either you have opened up a super-successful website.. .. And become a multi-millionaire. And then returned to college after getting bored. Or.. - No, no, I didn't become a multi-millionaire. Yes. Do you know what's common.. ...between Dhirubhai Ambani, Bill Gates and Jerry Patel? All three of them are college dropouts. The only difference is they have become special.. .. And I am specially challenged. Basically life has taken them to new heights.. .. And sent me back here for graduation. So the first step to complete your graduation.. .. Your class has started five minutes ago. What? - Time. Thanks for getting me late. Run, Jerry, run. Yeah, fatso. Whatever. "Now you don't.. " ".. have to.. " ".. keep my heart.. " ".. deprived of its happiness. " "it was my mistake. "That I ever followed you around.. " ".. unnecessarily. " "Now you don't.. " ".. have to.. " ".. keep my heart.. " ".. deprived of its happiness. " "it was my mistake. "That I ever followed you around.. " ".. unnecessarily. " "I don't trust you. " "Your love seems fake to me. " "I will never make you my sweetheart. " "All the dreams were unreal. " "The heart knows. " "Lord knows. " "I made a big mistake losing my heart to you. " "it was my mistake. "That I ever followed you around.. " ".. unnecessarily. " That reminded me of Manali. Radhika's mother and I spent our honeymoon there. Mind blowing. No, no. Not him, not him. Oh no. The thing is good. But we should not do it regularly. Nicky boy keep of the grass. "Whenever I look for you.. " ".. I find myself. " "I am wherever you are. " "I swear on everyone and promise you. " "I will never do such a thing again. " "I don't love you anymore. " "I don't need you anymore. " "I am so beautiful. " "Many will lose their hearts. " "I am one in a million. " "No one can surpass me. " "it was my mistake. " "That I ever followed you around.. " ".. unnecessarily. " ".. unnecessarily. " Dad. - Dear, he offered me 20 pounds for the breakfast. Tip included. If you two weren't facing a problem.. .. I would have had offered him the room above. As a tenant. One mistake should always be forgiven in every relation. Can I have my 20 pounds back? "I can feel the sorrows in your eyes. " "I want to spend the entire lifetime. " "In each others arms. " "No need for the world to know. " "And no need to say anything. " "Let our destiny's meet. " "The nights last as long as years. " Try to imagine such moments of love. " "Such a tomorrow, such moments. " "It will come in our love filled life. "It was my mistake. " "That I ever followed you around.. " ".. unnecessarily. " "I don't trust you. " "Your love seems fake to me. " "I will never make you my sweetheart. " "All the dreams were unreal. " "The heart knows. " "Lord knows. " "I made a big mistake losing my heart to you. " "it was my mistake. "That I ever followed you around.. " ".. unnecessarily. " You said that the one who is ready to wait all his life.. .. His love comes back. You really meant it, right? - Got it, got it. I know none of you nincompoops can do this. But let's try and see who can get this answer first. Hello. I'm fine. I'll call you later, bye. Rohan Mehta, can you please stand up? Sorry, sir. That was my mom from India. India. I received an e-mail yesterday.. .. That taught about your country. Do you know what the population of India is? A lot, sir. A lot. 1.2 billion and counting. And of this billion people, millions are illiterate. In fact India has the highest rate of illiteracy in the world. Rohan, you should be thankful that we allow fools like you.. .. To come to our country and get an education. Yes. If you don't mind me asking you, Professor. What e-mail account do you use? - Hotmail. Ah, Sameer Bhatia, one of those million illiterate Indians.. .. Created that mail. Can we get back to the problem on the board? Sir, can we solve that problem without the number zero? No we can't and stop asking these foolish questions. Aryabhatt, sir. Another illiterate Indian who invented the number zero. If you guys are such bloody geniuses.. .. Why don't you study in your own country? Sir, it's not easy for nincompoops like us. Only brilliant minds get accepted in India. Who knows? If you apply, you might get rejected. How dare you? Get out. Both of you. Get out. Jerry, why are you locking horns with them? That professor will give us a zero in our exams. "Here you go, a gift from Aryabhatt. " Jerry. How is your general knowledge so good? Tell me. Google. The foreigners have made it. Forget all this. There is a party at the frat house. Are you coming? Hot chicks. I have something urgent. See you later. Jerry. That's three chicken burgers and two large fries. Can I have kid's combo, please? That will be four pounds. One kid's combo. D D I still have about.. Give me whatever you have. Okay. That's cool. Here Clap for our employee of the month. Since Jerry has arrived he has increased our sales by 40%. Because he has lowered our prices by 50%. Sir, that boy was hungry and you can deduct it from my salary. Take off your uniform and get going. Excuse me. One burger and fries. Take-away please. No need for that. A treat from the employee of the month. Thank you. - Hey, what are you doing? Veer, there is someone here to see you. Me? I thought you'd forgotten me. That's impossible. Are you happy? Mom and dad left me. Jerry went to India. And I am rotting in a foster home. I'm very happy. Stop it, tragedy king. How are your studies? - Everything is fine. When Jerry returns from India I'll come back home. Just look after yourself, Veer. Don't worry about Jerry. I know as long as you are there.. .. Nothing can happen to Jerry. You don't need me or Jerry. Do you know why? Because you have got.. Iron Man. Hello. Jerry. - Hey, shorty. I defeated Daniel in the 100 meters race today. Do you go to school or not? Or are you only after Daniel? When will you return, Jerry? Veer, dinner is ready. - Coming. Are you happy? I am filled with happiness. Can't you and Nick ask any other question? Nick? Where did you find Nick? He came to see me. He looked sad. Veer. Veer, go eat your food. I'll talk to you later. I miss you, Jerry. Come back soon. Love you, Veer. - Love you too. If you miss him so much, why don't you go meet him? No, Rohan. Now I'll go meet Veer only when I can take him home. You know, I don't blame you for being nervous. Even I've never been on a blind date. No, that's not it. Blind dates are my USP. But the last time I was on a date.. .. Her over-possessive, violent ex-boyfriend came there. And he.. Hey, that's a game. Come on. Look. Which stuffed toy do you want? Kung Fu Panda. This is for you. You don't have to hit the stuffed toy but the cans. Gun, please. Let's go. - Wait, he's challenging me. I will win that Panda. Wow! I'm Ajay Bapat. I love Radhika so much that I can kill anyone for her. Now you have to decide whether you can die for her. Who is he? Ajay, ex-boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend, Ajay. My date. It's not that. Radhika, I think we should go. Which stuffed toy? - Winnie, the Pooh. Well done, baby. Well.. I was imagining your face. Let's go. Let's go. I feel like vomiting. See you on Monday. And before you leave please pick up your mid-term results. Fail. A consumable item that's useful to people but scarce.. A consumable item that's useful to people but scarce in relation.. In relation to.. No. A consumable item that's useful to people but scarce in relation.. In relation to.. A consumable item that is.. Are you taking revenge from the books after failing? Only the Economics book. I don't understand half the things.. .. And can't remember the other half. I might stand last but can't fail. A consumable item that's useful.. Do you consider me your friend? Yes, you are a very dear friend. F for friend. Trust me, I am helping you. Okay? Now come with me. Come on, Jerry. Who will Study this? You will when you have to. Come on. Okay. Okay. - Come on. Tanya, don't you think it will be a problem.. .. If someone sees us here? I'm neither a teacher nor do I answer questions.. .. Outside the classroom. You hate me, don't you? Why? - You're dancing in happiness because I failed. I heard that Rocco dances really well. He died three months ago. Now it's only Jerry. Oh, so sad. I wanted to meet him. Your case is really very serious. I know. That's why I had a crush on you in college. So now I understand. You wanted me to notice you but.. .. I was busy after the cheerleaders. And now you are taking your 12-year-old revenge.. .. By making sure I fail. I was helpless then. Now I am good and powerful. Why do I feel that if I stay here any longer.. .. Then I might be in danger? Everyone needs love but not everyone gets it. But those who get it don't understand it. Do you remember anything? Yes. Love is like an economical good.. .. Which is consumable item that is useful to people.. .. But scarce in relation to demand.. .. So human efforts are required to obtain it. Goods are divided into tangible and intangible.. .. For example. Your bracelet is tangible because I can touch it. But love is intangible, you can only feel it. Yes, I got it. I got it. I mean no one has ever called me back. And you are out of my league. I thought that you won't even remember my name. Don't be silly, Vijay. It's Ajay. Will he come here? - Who? Your ex-boyfriend? Nick. You don't worry about that idiot, darling. He's yesterday's news. You are my future, darling. And you smile wonderful. - That sound nice. So tomorrow may be.. I cannot stop myself. I want to fly like a free bird. - Fly. I want to touch the sky. - Touch it. Where no one can stop us. No one. - So take me. Take me higher, Ajay. Higher. - Higher. Higher. - Higher. Higher. Bapat! Hi, Nick. Shall we go inside? - Inside? The date has just started, isn't it? Let's go. Bapat! No, Radhika. We shouldn't take a wrong step before marriage. Just sit there quietly. What the.. One, two, three.. "I cannot stop myself. " "I want to fly like a free bird. " Take me higher, Ajay. Higher. Higher, Ajay. Higher. Rads, I have known you for three years. I know when you are faking it. You know what? You're right. Because just like you, I don't have any experience in these things. Shall I help you, Rads? Don't call me Rads. Hey, only I call her Rads. I have had enough from you, fool. And if I slap you now you will start bleeding. You might have a good body but I have courage. Courage. Vijay, I think you should leave. - Ajay. Whatever, get out. But I.. Will you have a beer? - No.. D Then I will treat you to omelet, come on. No. but my scooter is standing outside. Scooter won't do any good. Radhika is very high maintenance. Income tax was first collected in 1977, no.. 1877.. - 1797. Thank you. Should I help? You took me to Salsa Club after mid-terms. And you can take me to Disney World after the finals. I need to focus, sunshine. Think about it. I have a fool proof method to study. You won't forget even if you try to. I will take off a piece of clothing for every correct answer. The more correct answers you give.. .. The more clothes I take off.. - Are you stupid, Tanya? I will be ruined. Relax, it's not that easy. I ask really difficult questions. I have been studying for the past four months. You will have to take off at least three-four things. And anyway we can ask this question after the graduation. First question. Tell me the history of income-tax. I don't know. Tell me the history of income-tax. First collected in 1797 by the Dutch Republic.. .. Introduced in UK in 1799, abolished in 1860.. .. And reintroduced in 1852. - Very good. I hope you have worn many layers.. .. Because right now I am in form. Define cross-elasticity. Cross-elasticity is when the price of one good.. .. Affects the demand of another good. For example, if the price of coffee increases.. .. People start drinking tea. If the price of petrol goes up.. .. The demand for cars goes down. And Jerry gives his answers.. .. And Tanya has to take off her shirt. I want your shirt. I want your shirt. Next question. You have multiple choices. So listen carefully. - Okay. I am playing this game with you because.. Option A, I am feeling really hot. Option B, this is the best way to revise. Or Option C, you haven't kissed your girlfriend yet. The AC's on so you can't feel hot. You aren't my girlfriend. Option B. Option B. This is the best way to revise. Thank God, I haven't worn anything under this. Option A. Option C. Option C. C. All the best for your exams. It's definitely Option C. "Oh Lord. " "After falling in love with you. " "I have been ruined in expressing it to you. " "I fell in love with you. " "May God forgive you!" "O, Lord. That was terrible. " "May God forgive you!" "I fell in love with you. " "May God forgive you!" "Oh Lord, that was terrible. " "May God forgive you!" "The sight of you made me breathless. " "My eyes bowed before you. " "I worshiped you. " "May God forgive you!" "I fell in love with you. " "May God forgive you!" "Oh Lord, that was terrible. " "May God forgive you!" Hey, isn't that Nick. You two would always stay together in college. Still in touch. - No. "Oh Lord. " "After falling in love with you. " "I have been ruined in expressing it to you. " "These days of fervor. " "These days of love. " "I spend them this way. " "Thinking about you. " "Questioning myself. " "I get confused. " "I finally fell in love. " "The feelings in our heart came out. " "There was slight mischief. " "May God forgive me!" "I lost my senses. " "May God forgive me!" "I fell in love with you. " "May God!" "I know the world taunts me. " "I am a vagabond. " "Whatever I am.. " ".. whether I am this or that.. " ".. now I belong only to you. " "I see you everywhere. " "Wonder what's wrong with me. " "I rebelled against everyone. " "May God forgive me!" "I lost all my decency. " "May God forgive me!" "I fell in love with you. " "May God!" "I fell in love with you. " "May God forgive you!" "Oh Lord, that was terrible. " "May God forgive you!" J "After falling in love with you. " "I have been ruined in expressing it to you. " "Oh Lord. " "After falling in love with you. " "I have been ruined in expressing it to you. " Jerry. Jerry, get up. Get up. The finals are in five minutes. Get up. - Yes. Culture, sir. We Indians are always late. "The ambiance is really.. " "Deceiving today. " "The ambiance is really deceiving today. " "There's a.. " ".. storm on the way. " Rads. Rads. I've been trying to apologize to you.. .. For the past three months. Tell me how can I make this better, Rads. Fine. Then come to a hotel room tomorrow.. .. Where 50 men are throwing money on one girl. And that girl will be me. And the day you can get that image out of your mind.. .. I will forgive you. Rads, did you ever ask me why I had to take this step? How would that justify it, Nick? Have you ever thought about it that for the past three years.. .. Our life was revolving around your perfect wedding.. .. Perfect gown and picture-perfect honeymoon.. .. In which your less than perfect boyfriend was paying the bills? And when Jerry needed my help.. - Of course. It was Jerry's idea. - Wake up, Radhika. Today Veer is in a foster home. And the truth is I can become a male escort for Jerry a 100 times. Radhika Awasthi, people can survive on chicken roll all their life. "The distance between truth and dreams. " "How will I cover that distance?" "But this journey is half mine. " "And half yours. " "I am standing in your path. " "Shattered, broken and alone. " "I admit I made a mistake. " "But you are generous. " Coffee? Father, am I selfish? - Who said that? Nick. If Nick said it then it must be true. You always favor Nick. Radhika, if Nick isn't perfect then neither are you. The problem is that we often make mistakes in relationships.. .. But we never apologize. Even I hurt your mother. But.. I delayed in apologizing. Apologies only add to the love. And anyway, one mistake should be forgiven in every relationship. Don't worry. Everything will be fine. Relax. Come on, Jerry. You finally got a degree. Hotness. Not bad, Jerry Patel. An A in Economics. Even the Cardinal ensured I passed. Thank you, sir. For the first time in life someone had confidence that.. .. I could do something. Thanks, Tanya. Relax. And that's not true. I am not the only one who believes in you. Look. My mother. My mother. My mother. Jiggu. Jiggu. Mother, I missed you. Jiggu. You really passed. Look. Look. Here's the degree. And I did it Without him. See, aunt. I told you. He doesn't calm down easily. Mother, ask him to get out. Jiggu, come here. What are you doing, mother? At this age, people come to meet their grandchildren. And look at me, I am here to collect my son's report card. You were right.. In throwing him out of the house. You did the right thing. Otherwise he would've been working as a guard somewhere. I would've been a security consultant. And, aunt. He slapped me. Slapped me. Shut up. Aren't you ashamed? Your friendship dates back 15 years! Shake hands. You know, Jiggu. Your friend here called me, looking for you. And he brought me here to say sorry. Forgive him. Forgive him. Look, if you don't forgive him today.. .. I will feel that I shouldn't have given birth to you. What are you saying? Then forgive him. I still have to shop. I don't have the time, son. Fool, you can bring mother here, go meet Veer.. .. But couldn't give me a call. I was tired of saying sorry to everyone. Radhika. Forget it. I missed you. Forget it. - You were busy with your private tuitions. Hello, aunt. Mother, my teacher. She's still a teacher. - What is this, mother? Can you cook? - What are you saying, mother? I'm just asking. I can cook food. Gujarati daughter-in-law. Gujarati.. You know Gujarati? Everyone here looks like an MBA. I don't think I will get a job here. Three firms have already rejected you. Now listen to me. It's a fool proof plan. - It's a useless idea. Don't spend too much time with that cartoon. - Who? That Radhika's dad. Mr. Patel. - Yes, that's me. Think about it, Jerry. Security guard. Burger joint. You just completed your graduation two weeks ago.. .. And you are applying for the post of an analyst? Very ambitious, I must say. Sir, my resume can only tell you what I used to be. And not the things that I can be. I just need one chance, sir. To prove myself. That means you want to learn from us.. .. And for that we will have to pay you. I am sorry. But all the candidate sitting outside.. .. Are more qualified than you. Please don't waste my time. Raj. We will meet this evening in the golf club. See you, buddy. And let's get it drink after that. Bye. - No! Why are you beating me, Mr. Dillion? I just came here to ask for a job. Leave me, what are you doing? Don't touch me. I'm not touching you. Leave me. I'm not holding you. Stay away from me. God! My encyclopedia. Get your hands off of me. No, no, no. Not my fish tank. Don't drown me in the water. I cannot swim. Stop Finding Nemo In My Fish Tank. Look, you need counseling.. .. And I need a blood pressure measuring machine. Help me. - Help me. Help me. Help me. Close your zip Mr. Dillion? Save me from this man.. I have called the police. - Please. Please don't call the police. I'll lose my job. How many years will he have to serve.. .. For assault and violence? - At least 10 years. By the time he comes out.. .. His wife will be married for the second time.. .. And his son for the first time. No, no, please. I'm ready to do anything you want. I'll give you the post of senior analyst. It's all yours. No. I'll become the senior analyst on my own merit. I just request you.. .. To consider me for the more junior position in this company. Please. - Is this a request or a threat? I'll tell you. No, no. Just want to know. His starting salary will be 40,000 pounds plus bonus. An individual office, and one month holiday a year. And don't ever discuss this incident again. This is called threatening. Who are you? -I am his brother from a hotter mother. Come, J. Now you wear a suit and go to work every day. You will pay the rent. And I will sit at home and play PlayStation with Veer. But Veer hasn't returned home yet. - Come on, J. You have a degree, a job and an Economics professor.. .. Is crazy about you. Even the judge will get a complex. 3 o'clock. - You're still staring at girls. Take a look. She is just your type. What is she here to say after four months? So should I tell her that you aren't interested? I'm not even interested in what you want to tell her. Okay. Jerry, you're late. You called me here at 7 o'clock. How much did you drink? Who the hell drinks to tolerate? I drink to sit here. Look at Nick. And tolerate you. Stop your charade.. .. He is dying to meet you. - Really? I have set everything up. Just show your dimples.. Your hair. And that will melt him. Understand. And anyway, he doesn't stare at any girl. Open wide But girls can look at him. Darn it, she's hot. Your time starts now. If you are not going to marry her.. .. Can we go for dinner tomorrow? Do you know her? - No. I am 5ft. 7, you seem 6ft. We'll look fabulous together. Would you please leave us alone? After marriage, a house in Hampstead, two cars.. .. Two children, the perfect life. - What is your problem? One slap and you will never need any plastic surgery again. Buzz off. Bravo. Indian woman. Crazy woman. Nick. Please marry me. I don't have money, house or a job. I can't give you the life you want. Nick, I can spend my entire life eating chicken roll. But there is no fun in eating it alone. Fine. First job then marriage. - Done. No honeymoon. - No honeymoon. We will live in my trailer until we get a house. Now you are pushing it. I don't have the money to feed you every day. Come aboard if you want to.. .. Or else I will call back the blonde. - Don't be so pushy. You don't have a job, a home nor money. At least you have a girlfriend. She's getting hooked for less, say yes. You are saying this? - Say yes to her. Do you always keep this with you? I wanted to sell this today. And I met you. They made me emotional. I can't handle so much happiness. J, the real test begins now. Ready? Ready. Case 463. State versus Jerry Patel. The prosecution and the defense.. .. Have stated Hindi as their preferred language. Will the defense please present their case? Your Honor, today when I stepped out of the house.. .. I told my mom 'Mom, I will be home for lunch' because.. .. Frankly the prosecution doesn't have a case. Who have you brought? - He was the only one free. Few months ago due to the job status.. .. Of my client, Jerry Patel.. .. Social Services placed Veer in a foster home. Today, Jerry has successfully changed his life. And as Veer's legal guardian.. .. He wants to challenge the decision of the Social Services. Will the representing lawyer from the Social Services.. .. Please present their case? Oh no, Jerry. I'm saying sorry in advance. - Why? Vijay. . Vijay? Ajay. Vijay. Dhananjay. You can call me anything.. .. But today after this case is over.. .. Every person sitting here will remember.. .. Ajay Bapat's name. Who is this cartoon? Pogo channel's brand ambassador. Your honor, don't be fooled.. .. By this super-duper handsome, stud and innocent face. Hiding behind this mask is an irresponsible and immoral man. And his friend is a thief as well. He steals others girlfriends in broad daylight. - Bapat. Mr. Bapat, please keep your personal life.. .. Out of this courtroom. - Apologies. But in the next few minutes I will prove to everyone that.. .. Jerry needs a foster home more than Veer does. Your honor, this happened on 13th November.. .. When Jerry all night, along with three clients.. Did I miss something? - No, dear, it just started. You didn't bring popcorn? Snacks or hotdog. Hey, Jerry Berry. Nick, I am saying sorry in advance. Jerry, we had a rule. When a man like Jerry spends the entire night.. .. With such an amazingly beautiful girl.. .. Then obviously they weren't playing carom. Did you or did you not pay this man money? Of course I had to. We had so much fun and he was so good at it. We would all love to know what he is so good at. Rummy, baby. - What? The poor girl lost a fortune after that. If it wasn't for my man Jerry.. .. I would've kept living a lie. But thanks to him, I can proudly say, I'm gay. I knew it. So he did sleep with you. No. But he did ask me three simple questions. What questions? - Who are your best friends? Kalpana, Sweety, Pinky, Pammy. Lovlina, Hrithik and Kookie. My seven sisters. What is your favorite song? 'The only crime that I commit is that.. ' '.. I am a man and I love all men. ' Congratulations, Mr. Bapat. You are officially gay. Mr. Bapat, do I need to remind you that.. .. You are defending against Mr. Patel and not for him? There is nothing wrong in it. But you are gay. I was lonely and I hired a male escort. That's how Jerry came to spend the night at my house. Yes, yes. And you lost money in rummy, or was it scrabble? Or did you play in a dark room? Silence means guilt. And guilt means.. - Objection, your Honor. He is harassing the witness. Objection over-ruled. The witness will have to speak up. Call your mother and tell her that.. .. You won't be back before dinner. Now, Mrs. Smith, may I remind you that.. .. You are under oath? Now please tell me why you paid that man on November 30th? Your Honor, we did have sex that night. I won. I won. I won. Thank you, lonely woman. Jerry, I know you didn't want to. But you understood the emptiness of my life. You were a friend to me that night. I wish I could help you. Jerry, I am so sorry. Your Honor, it proves that.. .. Jerry isn't just a mere publican but the king of vulgarism. "I am your hero. Listen, rich guys. " "I am the man of God. I am everybody's friend. " "I see each corner of the world. " Don't you feel sir's biceps have increased? Must be the demand of the clients. "I splurged money. Life taught me a lesson. " "I slept on the moon. " "I told the sun. " "To bring a superb morning. " This is a court room and not your living room. You are breaking the law. It's an old habit, your honor. I have been doing that since childhood. Jerry's case is strong. But short of witnesses. May I take the stand? - But who are? I am London's highest paid lover.. .. Who spreads happiness to every women in London. Without clothes. This is who Jerry really is, your honor. He failed in every job in the world.. .. Because he's only good at taking off his clothes. Shorty, anyone can become a lawyer.. .. After writing 15-20 exams. But no book in the world.. .. Can teach you to make a woman happy. For that you need pedigree and not a degree. I'll ask for a card. He gave it last time, but I didn't get it. And only a woman can understand that. A mother feels happy when her child stands first in the exams. A sister feels happy.. .. When her brother is promoted in the office. A wife feels happy.. .. When her husband brings money home. But a woman feels happy.. .. When the owner of Desi Boyz hands her his card. Objection, your honor. He is breaking the law. - Over-ruled. Think about it, Bapat. They only brought happiness to the ladies. Many people even commit murder for their children. Mr. Desi Boyz. Explain to me the meaning of.. .. Spreading happiness to the ladies. Bapat, my boy. Have you ever thought.. .. Why do your seven sisters smile so much? Sir, card please. - Dad. Oh I got his card. I got his card finally. Please maintain decorum in the courtroom. Your honor You only heard and saw the witnesses from my past. But no one said anything about my present. And I have just one request to make. Base your decision on my present and not my past. That's it May I, your honor? People become a father after getting a child. But that small Veer has turned Jerry into a man. And even good people make mistakes. But it's a bigger crime.. .. If you don't give him an opportunity to rectify that mistake.. That's all, your honor. Thank you. The court grants Veer's custody.. .. To his father, Jerry Patel. Jerry. Clap your hands, whistle all you want. My Desi Boyz have returned. You used to rule the hearts of girls. Rocco and Hunter are really naughty. And soon all of India will know this. I have obtained the license for Mumbai branch. Pack your bags, boys. - Okay, sir. The women of Mumbai want to see Batman and Robin at the dorm. Robin, Batman. - I don't want to be Robin. You will look better than Batman in Robin's outfit. No, I don't want to be Robin. - Are you crazy? Don't whine. Fine, be Superman. - Okay. "Make some noise for the Indian boys. " "The boys. " Don't whine, take this. "The boys. " "Let's go. Come on. Heart of girls... " Bapat. "We will break the record of Romeo's love. " You could have called. Do you want to kiss me? - Here I have never.. What's this.. - Oh no. "My heart is very decent. " "Make some noise for the Indian boys. One. Two. Three. Go. " "English moves. " I would've been a security consultant. Cut, cut. I want to fly like a free bird. Higher, Ajay. Higher. Higher. Higher. I have known you for three years. I have known you for three years. I know when you are faking it. "Dressing up handsomely and flaunting their muscles. " "Indian boys dance merrily. " Who, we? - You and me. Rick and Rocco.. - Who are Rick and Rocco? I am MBA from the.. Don't get ambitious. "They say Lady Gaga is our fan. " Sorry. Order the food only when.. Stay away from me. "The Indian boys. One. Two. Three. Go. " "English moves on the rhythm of the heart. " "Indian boys dance merrily. " If I slap you, you will start.. Yes, you might have a body but I have a.. Finals in five minutes, get up. Get up, Jerry. - Don't go. A girl's wedding.. A girl's wedding.. "In the window opposite yours. " "Come back. Amazing! Come on!" "it's women's weakness. They splurge their wealth on us. " "Fighting for us. " Nice job. And a doggy. Bow wow. One second. Sorry. I have set up everything. And anyway, he doesn't meet any girl.. What is wrong with me? Bapat. I'm learning to speak the truth. "The Indian boys. One. Two. Three. Sing. " "English moves on the rhythm of the heart. " "Indian boys dance merrily. " "Dressing up handsomely and flaunting their muscles. " "Indian boys dance merrily. " "Seeing the corners of the world. " "Indian boys are the best. " "Raise your voice. Make some noise. " "Indian boys have come for you. " Please maintain decorum in the courtroom. |
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