Postcards, orange juice and soft drinks.
Wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
- We're just leaving, come on.
- Don't jump the gun!
- Hurry, hurry!
- I'm coming, coming!
- Get on.
- Have courage, jump!
Take this!
Come on, hold this.
Wait.
Oh!
Excuse me.
Not a problem.
I have another!
My one, true love,
see you tomorrow.
Gino always greets me
like that when he leaves.
Oh, how he loves me, goodbye.
Oh!
Look, there's Nisida point,
lots of fish.
Back in '59 Buchner
set the world diving record.
Look, there's Procida.
Look.
- Fantastic, eh?
- Oh my how beautiful.
- Magnificent.
- What inlets.
- What highlands, and lowlands,
- And what legs!
- What legs?
- Didn't you see her?
Boys, really,
always thinking about women.
You're always fishing, yes
that's a big difference.
Waiter, can I have an orangeade?
Good morning.
Good morning.
Look out there at Procida.
Beautiful island eh?
Full of highlands...
Inlets.
Too bad we can't get closer
as there's a prison.
I don't understand (German)
Foreign.
Prison, understand?
Held, stripes.
Volga Volga!
You don't understand.
Are you going to Ischia, too?
I'm going to Ischia. Beautiful island.
- Evelin!
- Excuse me
Germany!
That seat is mine.
It's mine.
Okay, I'll give it to you.
No need to convince me, please.
- No, you give it to me
because it's mine. - Oh, right?
Yes, yes.
Why don't you put on a hat?
I had one.
Oh.
- Here it is.
- Excuse me, I didn't...
My only love.
I return to you, Gino.
There they are!
- There's Nicola!
- And Lello, look there he is!
- Nanni never changes!
- Oh, look at the women!
We've already seen the women on board!
What a Don Juan, stop it!
What a dragon!
Hey guys!
I must leave to
see my friends.
When shall we meet?
- Whenever we meet, I'll say
hello, beautiful. - Hello.
- Hey!
- You have arrived!
- You look like a worm! - How are you?
- You've got a tan!
The pay sucks,
how are you so white?
We're ready for some sun.
Hotel Miramare.
- Hotel Cristallo, ma'am?
- Yes - Please.
We have the remedy.
Look, everywhere you turn
on this island...
...you see the same thing,
it stays the same. - Women, eh?
The sea.
The women that are here...
Oh yes, every day
they just say...
..."When will Nanni, Nicola,
and Lello get here?"
- Look at how he lost
weight. - Cab.
I am ready, gentlemen.
Let me help.
Here, give me a hand, ragazzuolo!
- I'll try
to help. - Yes
Nanni...
- Wait a minute.
- What is it?
- The brothers Capogrossi...
- Senior.
- Junior.
- Yeah.
We need to talk to you.
Careful, Nanni,
they will burn you.
- They want money!
- No.
Look, at least
show them seventy thousand.
- No, no. - Seventy?
We'll discuss that later.
We lost in poker...
...We played without
telling anyone.
Well, the truth,
the game was looking good.
Umm.
Tell him, tell him.
It was a full house, kings
and aces.
Twenty thousand.
Think about it.
Fifty.
Raise to seventy thousand.
He sees, guess what?
You tell him.
A large straight.
- Why did you stay here,
instead of leaving? - Eh?
Because he owns
a big place at the port.
- He monitors all ships
that are departing.
- What can I say?
Too bad for you. - Well!
Remember that time...
I do... I loaned my
skis like a true friend...
...And you broke one of them.
You cannot forget it.
If I remember correctly, they were
damaged, I almost killed myself...
...And I had to pay you for
both of them. - Yes
But guys, seventy thousand,
do you think I'm crazy?
- But at least ten thousand lire.
- Yes
- Do it for our friendship.
Ten thousand. - Ten thousand.
- It kills us.
- To ask for charity.
Ten thousand.
- Thank you.
You got burned, Nanni, eh?
You are too much, the
horse cannot pull that much.
I have a Citroen in Milan
Two horses...
...And it can handle fifteen.
You have a one-horse model...
...So it should handle six
people.
- Feed him better.
- Ah well. - Go.
Did you see them,
Commissioner?
- Who?
- Those two.
- Yes, I saw, I saw them.
- Should we stop them?
Sassu, we are on the job,
and they are also married.
Commissioner,...
I wanted to stop them...
...Stop them.
- What?
Yes, for contempt
to public decency.
They exposed their belly.
Sassu, remember
that we are no longer in Nuoro.
This is a tourist resort.
People are here to
sunbathe,...
Unfortunately for us...
we only bathe in sweat.
Unfortunately, doctor.
Ciccillo!
Calling me?
Here, get us to Naples.
Wait one minute, while I get
a bit of oil reserves.
Yes
Gennaro takes no more.
The hairy Gennaro.
- Are you a porter?
- Are you talking to me?
- Are you a porter?
- Oh no.
We were just resting.
Sorry.
Young man, can you carry
my things for me?
I know where I would carry you!
Sorry, what a pity!
Are you a porter?
We were betrayed! Now what?
We act nonchalant.
- You know that little trick...
- Where you jump me, eh?
And I jump...
Wait a minute!
Hello, Mr. Gennaro.
Wanted to run away, eh?
Who, us? Never Mr. Gennaro.
- The debts are not paid?
- There is a quid-pro-quo.
Are they the ones that gave
this money to you?
- Who? Us? - We
don't know this guy.
Then you must have
found the money.
What should we do
with it?
Have a good meal.
Spaghetti, octopus
Epomeo and wine by the gallon.
- Ah, okay.
- C'mon, c'mon, Ciccillo.
To your health!
I hope you choke.
Use your muscles!
Slowly, slowly.
- Guys, push.
- We have arrived.
- A little more. - Brothers,
the horse did make it!
We'll take our things
to the hotel.
- Yes, at the Crystal.
- Wake up, Sleepy!
What's the plan? What are you doing?
I'm sleeping.
I must sleep
Don't be silly.
Here on Ischia nobody
ever sleeps!
- I'm tired, guys!
- Who's this?
It's Lars, the new Swedish
pool guy.
- Hello. - Hello. - Feel
the sun! - Pero talking!
He's a bit weird,
does not like Swedes...
...I prefer Italians.
What a fool!
- Would you like something, sir?
- That's an idea...
...But there's the problem of who
should pay for drinks.
Should we explain the
game for beginners?
- What is it?
- It's his game.
It's very simple, you choose
a letter of the alphabet...
...And the challenge
in thirty seconds...
...is to say at least
ten names of women...
Starting with...
with that letter.
But that's stupid,
and easy.
Not really, and those who can't
do it are called P.P.D.D.
Short on experience with women
and must pay for drinks.
- Come on, I will!
- Then, "S".
"S." Silvia, Silvana, Setts,
Stefania, Sofia, Sofia...
- Come on, come on! - Sofia.
- Saturnina.
Saturnina.
Don't help.
That's six.
Less than fifteen seconds,
less than fourteen seconds...
- Sybil.
- Mm.
- Susanna.
- Mm.
- Sister.
- Doesn't count.
- "Sister" does not begin
with "S"? - Come on!
By saying sister, you made it
with your own sister.
You lost,
you are a P.P.D.D.
- He must buy the drinks.
- Well, I don't drink.
- French cognac for me.
- For me a whiskey.
Look at her.
Do you see that?
- Who are you?
Thanks, lady,
you've burned my eyes.
- Hey guys, who is she?
- Her?
She is very
difficult, my friend!
Anyone who has tried, struck out.
- She does not get with anyone.
- Oh yeah?
- Hey, where are you going?
We'll take turns.
First him,
Then me...
...And if we both fail,...
...then maybe you can try.
- All right.
- Got it?
And he is sleeping.
You're already in the grave,
Wake Up!
Stop, come on,
I came here to rest.
I have to sleep or
I'll have a nervous breakdown, come on.
Give up, I'm already asleep.
But, guys, I did
not have to point her out.
I saw her first; she's mine.
Stop it, monster!
This is the place?
What are you guys doing tonight?
- I don't know, what are you doing?
- There's a treasure hunt at the hotel.
- That would be good, are you
coming? - Well, I mean.
Hunting in pairs.
You understand, right?
I say no,
because if I participate,...
...You guys won't have a chance.
- Children, speak up!
- Eh.
Nicola, what are you doing?
I am in training.
Tomorrow morning
I have to get up early...
...Because I have an
underwater race.
How old are you?
Ninety?
You don't drink,
don't smoke, don't dance.
Sometimes you have relations?
Eh?
Relations? Ehh...
Imagine waiting in the
shadows until she arrives.
Beautiful, curvy, and a bit
shy, a little cautious.
I look at her, she looks at me.
I approach, hiding
my intentions.
Stops trusting herself and me...
- Now! - Now, you kiss?
- No, I'll shoot!
You shoot your women?
What women,
I was talking about the groupers.
- Fishing? - Shut up, fool,
All you think about are fish.
You don't understand anything!
Look, I'm Nicola Molino.
- Yes - I made a reservation.
- I'll look.
Room 215,
take a seat.
Thanks.
- Boy, Room 215,
accompany the gentleman. - Now.
- Go to Genepesca!
- It smells like fish!
- Here we are!
- Back again.
- The Capogrossi brothers.
- Yes
- What do you want? - We
a small loan.
- Leeches!
- I should have known.
Look here, two thousand lire.
No, this is a vice!
But, remember
that time you were on foot...
...And I as a true friend...
...I gave you
my bike, remember?
I think the chain came off...
Two days in the hospital...
And you wanted money for the damage.
You are vindictive.
- No, come on.
- Give them to us!
Two places to hunt
treasure tonight.
- Yes - The prize is
a box of gold coins?
Yes, certainly sir.
Fifty-eight seconds holding my
breath. That's not bad, eh?
Ladies and Gentlemen,
your attention, please.
At this table you are
to collect the envelopes...
...for our treasure hunt.
Form couples.
Men...
...Choose your lady
...And come...
...to this table...
...To pick up the envelopes.
The hunt begins...
...at the sound of the gong.
Do not open the envelopes before,...
...I say to.
Here is the envelope.
Please Lord,...
...Do not open the envelope
before the sound of the gong.
We have already met
on the boat, remember?
- We spoke, you and me...
(SPEAKS IN GERMAN)
Wait, I'll explain.
- Evelin!
(In German)
Him again.
Nothing, forget it.
Good evening.
Do not open the envelopes before
the sound of the gong!
- Hot?
- Oh yes, the heat is.
I meant to ask, are you alone?
Do you have a partner for the game?
- Oh, no.
- So if it helps, I'm available.
Gladly.
- Do you speak Italian?
- Sure.
- You treasure hunt with me?
- Gladly. - Thank you.
If you want,
we'll win by force.
Nanni, and the brunette
from this morning?
Don't you know?
An old proverb says:...
..."Red sky at night, means
something hopeful. "
Oh, because I've been
so funny.
But go!
- You are alone?
- Solo, by myself, abandoned.
Want to treasure hunt?
But of course I'd like to
and especially if a good soul...
...will accompany me.
- I'll tell her.
- Thank you. - Arabella!
- Here I am!
Arabella, you team with
this kind gentleman.
- But listen, lady...
- Thank you so much.
- Run, run.
- But look at that... Damn!
Oh no.
I'm sorry.
Excuse me, I...
That's three.
On the third hat
you introduce yourself?
- Nicole.
- Ah, you know my name?
No, I'm Nicole,
my name is Nicole.
- Oh Nicole, I'm Nicola.
- Go back and play?
- OK.
Let's get an envelope.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
- Yet another envelope.
- Thank you.
Good luck to you.
Come on boys, come on, come on!
- And the envelope?
- And the lady? - It's him.
Ladies and gentlemen, attention.
The hunt is on, open the
envelopes and good luck to all.
It's written in German,
we're being punished.
It's clear as water, right?
("And the ship sails to eight
will lift up the bunting. ")
- Good, you know German?
- Yes, I teach.
From what I understand we have to
look for a bunting,...
...Or flags, or I don't know,
a box of Pavesini.
- You have three pennies?
- Yes, why?
Why this
is a line from Brecht,...
...From"The Three-penny Opera. "
Here you go. One, two, three.
- Miss Vania Brava,
here is the second envelope. - Thank you.
Hang in there, you see it's
not easy, but not too difficult.
Bravi,
second envelope for you.
- Charles, do you have three pennies?
- Who has them? - Come!
("I'm the silkworm
and waiting for you. ")
- You give me three pennies?
- Uhh.
- We'll pay you back tomorrow.
- Yes
- Come on, don't be stingy.
- Here. - Go!
- A silkworm!
- A silkworm, where is it?
Gelso, the mulberry tree.
Oh yeah, come on!
Please Kiss.
- For a minute.
- But I am embarrassed.
- I'm not.
- Swear I'm the only one.
You know you're my only
love, no? You know!
- But you travel so much,
always going to Naples.
Here we are!
Here, this is the passport
for the next envelope.
We are ready.
Gentlemen, it's crowded
take turns.
One couple at a time.
So, eh?
Cousins, of course.
Here we are, ah.
- Here, pick up the next
envelope. - Thank you. Look at the picture.
Ready?
It looks good, come here.
Voila, now tell me, what's
your nanny's name?
Maria Grazia.
- Brava. You're always with her?
- Sometimes not.
Oh, and when?
When I'm with some
sucker like you.
What do you mean?
Look at them.
She's his girlfriend.
Now, where to?
To hell with this!
Men are all the same!
Come on, come on guys.
Give us the envelope.
- How horrible!
- Give us the envelope.
- Here it is.
- Quick, give it to me.
Bravo!
("Try here, try there.
Sara will be here or there?")
- Here.
- Here.
- There.
- There.
Courage is not difficult.
- Under the lilac bushes!
- Yes
Run to the street!
- Guys, over here!
- Follow him!
Run!
Here, look!
What do we do now?
Join the others.
The treasure!
Make way!
- The treasure, the treasure!
- Congratulations, gentlemen.
- We would like to exchange it
for Italian lire. - Now, however.
the maximum I could exchange it
for is two or three ounces of candy.
- What?
- Candy.
- Chocolate!
- Sure!
- Bah!
- Shall we dance?
Eleven!
Well, I'm going to sleep,
I have a race tomorrow, I'm sorry.
Good night.
Wake up!
Go to hell!
- Look out!
- Eh?
There is the sister of
Christopher Lee.
And now?
You dance?
- What?
- You dance with me?
I have a crazy leg,
I fell as a child.
- Too bad!
- I'm sorry.
- Have you got any ideas?
- No.
I knew it.
All my problems...
...I have a brother
like you, without ideas.
You're not like that, right?
Damn! Somewhere we must
find some money.
Do you think he's
too strong?
Gennaro?
You bet!
He has hairy ears
like all criminals.
I make a vow.
If I get out of this situation,
I'll do missionary work...
...In India, and you'll come with me.
I would go, but I hate snakes.
Be careful where you step,
there is the swimming pool.
I know.
- What? What's up?
- What are you doing there?
You? Are you crazy?
Don't you know it's dangerous
to awaken an athlete...
...in the middle of his sleep?
You've given me a headache...
Ah, well you get angry,
libertine!
You Italians are all alike.
You're only interested in sports,
training, winning?
You are in my room!
How?
It's you that is in my room...
You took off your dress...
and then caused this scene.
This scene?
Come on, you like this.
Oh!
But of course, you're French,
you like a man, and then wham.
Go into his room
uninhibited,...
...You have
intentions on me...
...Come back after
the race, understand?
I have no intentions,
now or ever.
In fact, if you really want to know,...
You've been annoying me...
from the start...
...From the first hat
you ruined!
Okay, now, turn off the lights
and go. Goodbye.
You go!
- Me? But this is my room!
- No, it's my room!
- I booked it.
- It's my room.
Oh!
Wait.
Hello?
Help me out. Oh, and you?
Can you tell me who has booked
room 215?
Will you repeat that, louder?
Nicola Molino.
Eh? Well.
- Goodbye!
- Like hello?
Goodbye, goodbye,
I've booked it, you heard him.
Don't be a fool,
Nicole Molino is me!
- Stop it, stop it!
- Good.
Well! Read.
Nicole Molino.
And I'm Nicola Molino.
Mo-li-no,
read it, look.
That's unbelievable.
Wonderful.
Not only the first name,
also the same surname.
We are not even
husband and wife.
Well, then you look for
another hotel.
No, no,
I have the same rights as you.
But you're a man,
You're chivalrous, aren't you?
- You will look for another room.
- Are you crazy?
Don't you know there's nothing
available in Ischia?
You know what you should do?
You said it, no?
We can sleep in the same room,
like we are husband and wife!
Um, I don't like it.
You may not like it,
but don't be afraid.
I won't lay a finger on you.
I have to sleep eight hours.
You can trust that I'll be asleep.
Don't you trust me?
Um, well, I trust you.
Get up and go to the bathroom.
- Why?
- I have to undress.
- You're not already undressed?
- I sleep in the nude.
- How?
- Completely nude.
Close the door.
No, tomorrow I have a fishing competition,
I can't, I just can't. "
Only exercise. No smoking,
no wine, and no women.
No, no women.
Who cares about training?
Can I come out?
Come in.
Oh well.
What have you done with my
bed? And the mattress?
Precautions, you are Italian,
I'm French.
You sleep outside.
Everything is there.
I will not!
Oh, oh!
Let me in!
But I can't sleep outside.
It's uncomfortable, and it's wet.
I'm an athlete, come on!
On the third floor!
- Damn!
Finally! Three months in
Ischia with no rain!
Good night, sir.
- What is it?
- "T" is the letter.
All right. There's been...
Teresa, Tina, Timothy,
Tonia, Tilde, Titina,...
...Tania,
Tullia, Tosca, Tamara.
- Ouch!
- Moist, eh?
No, it stings.
Why don't you shave?
That's my business.
Oh! What about the red-head last night?
- She had a problem.
- What?
She has a friend that
I like more! This one!
- My Lovely-Hair Girl.
You have two heads?
Nanni, you'll ruin it.
- Enzo.
- Oh.
- Your mother is calling you.
- What?
Your mother has
arrived at the hotel, go.
- My mother?
- Come on, run!
- She's calling me? Where?
- Your mother, in the hotel.
- I go?
- Go
- Ladybug!
- Who never sleeps!
Charles!
Yes?
Charles!
Wait a minute.
Charles!
What is it?
I wrote our father.
There's the check, there's the check!
It will be a hundred thousand.
Our father will understand our
problem and helps us...
...He was once young
too, and he played poker.
- He knows how things go.
- Eh.
("Dear idiots, at the poker
table don't you know,...
...Even with a full house of kings,
see, don't raise. Father")
- Five!
- Our weekly allowance.
I have an idea.
Huh?
- I have an idea.
- No, no, no.
What an idea!
We put a ten in front and it
becomes one hundred and five thousand...
...And here where it says
five thousand...
...We write one hundred in
front, elementary, no?
No, that's scamming
our poor father.
Would you prefer that
Gennaro bust your face?
You know Father can't afford it.
At least it's
for the family.
Please, pretty lady,
give me Milan...
...It's urgent stuff about women.
We won't be able to go home
for one thing.
Well? What do you care?
You like it here?
I don't know, and you?
Then we'll emigrate, like
swallows!
Germany! It seeks
Italians like bread.
What about money
for the journey?
You know what?
Write in two hundred and five thousand.
Simple, no?
What if we do not find work
right away?
It will take at least
three hundred, eh?
So make it for more.
Four hundred and five thousand.
Forgive me, father!
It's almost time.
Careful.
Minus four, minus three,
minus two, minus one. Go!
Look at that, look at it.
And he is sleeping!
Don't hit me on the head,
I've got a nervous breakdown.
No, you have another problem.
Listen, I should go in your place.
Not for a billion.
Besides, George is before us...
Look Remo,
this should be working...
...There is no problem
with the underwater cable?
Be calm, there are many
calls for Milan.
Ah thanks.
- Listen.
- Yes?
- What is our account?
The balance of your account is
twenty-eight thousand and three hundred pounds.
Here are
four hundred and five thousand.
Give us the change.
You don't trust us?
It's a check from our father.
You know the signature, right?
Of course I recognize
your father's signature.
- He's often here!
- It's like home.
Your father is a professor
at the University of Rome.
- Yes
- Well?
It's strange that he
wrote "four hundred"with a G.
I'll kill you.
Illiterate!
Hello? Here is Milan.
Thanks.
Hello? Milan?
Richard, is that you?
Do you have the information?
She's a woman to die for?
I figured as much.
She lives in Via Borsieri?
Wait, let me write it down.
Yes, tell me everything, even
what you hear at the hair salon.
Yes, well.
One moment.
I understand.
You're wonderful!
- Franca!
- Please?
What a pleasure
to find you here.
How are you?
You seem very well, you know?
Yes, I'm really good.
Ouch.
Don't tell me
you don't remember me.
I'm George,
George Mazzoli.
George?
Yes, we were in school together.
You were in section "C" and
I in "B" right?
With Professor Martinelli.
We had many friends in common.
You live in Milan
Via Borsieri.
And then there's that girl,
what's her name?
Sandra, who always goes to Attila
the hairdresser.
- And then there's your
brother Rolando. - Romualdo!
Yeah, Romualdo. Always
together, always together, me and him.
- You and my brother?
- Yes, how is he?
Well as always!
Exits from one clinic and
enters another.
Yeah, poor thing.
Even as a child.
Let's not talk about sad things.
Let's talk about something else, eh?
No, let's talk about my
brother. You are such good friends.
- Poor thing!
- Yes, poor fellow.
He's so small,
sickly, delicate.
- Do you know what we call
him? - No.
- Sparrow!
- Oh!
Yes, I envied him,
I always said...
Lucky you... "George,
so high, so strong. "
- Oh, but look.
- Listen, Franca. - Eh?
- I just want to say.
- Tell me!
I love him so much...
...if I could give part of myself.
Oh look,
now you can do just that.
Sparrow.
- Romualdo!
- Yes?
Come here,
here's your friend!
Yes, I'll be right there.
Sorry hun, my mother called.
- Yes, yes.
- Yes, I'm coming.
- You know, the old lady wants me...
- Oh sure.
- Goodbye, see you later eh.
- Go, go. Goodbye.
- Who was he? - Nobody,
a nuisance. - Ah!
- Come to your mother
that comforts you... - Blowhard!
A beer!
It's up to me.
It'll cost me a lot of money, but
I'm not going to play it safe.
Down, get down.
- Another mine!
Help, Mother!
Mother, I have become blind!
Please!
Ah, you've restored my sight.
Get down.
Don't you think that it's
a bit too dangerous?
Are you going to buy explosives?
Oh yes!
From who?
- You need a license.
- I'm afraid.
- Come on!
- I'm afraid!
The danger has passed.
- Wait!
Enough, let's go to work.
Come on, guys.
Gladly, let's go.
If you don't work hard,
you don't eat, let's go!
Oh!
Make some light,
I can't see worth a damn!
Oh, here's a candle!
- Ah!
- Why are you blowing?
Blow hard!
You look pale.
That's dynamite!
Idiot!
Ssh! Let's go out!
"Aunt and the room. "
Repeat it.
Oh no, Salvatore, the pronunciation!
Miss!
- Yes?
- There is another student.
Come up.
Who?
- Hello.
- Oh, it's you? Hello.
But now I have class.
I'm just here for educational
purposes.
You are so good.
Could you do a translation?
- Salvatore, can you come back tomorrow?
- Whatever you want, lady.
Come, come.
Italian into German?
("Dear Evelin, it's Lello
from the boat.
Will you meet me
at seven in the streets?")
- This is for a German girl?
- Yes!
You saw one on the boat?
More or less.
So?
This won't work.
Germans are more romantic
than Italians.
They do not make
dates so easily.
Sit down.
The letters are like a present.
If you were alone with her
what would you say?
- Turn off the light.
- Lello!
Sorry, I was joking.
I'd say what...
...You always say.
What?
I don't know... I'm a man
of action.
I would tell her "Dear Evelin,
here I am with my... "
No, with my, "and", that's bad.
It's just bad.
the...
the...
Vania.
Butt...
You know your
Military eyes?
- What?
- Grey-green.
Come on, don't joke.
Then,"My dear Evelin, your eyes
are like the sky and the sea...
...All blue. "
She'll see through that, right?
So...
Do one thing for me,
write the letter in German...
...At double rate.
Secretarial and translation, eh?
Yes
Taxi.
Taxi.
Taxi, taxi.
Oh no!
This is getting to be a habit.
I saw it before you.
Oh, no, no, it's mine.
I saw it first.
- Bless you.
Ischia is a small island.
- Ugh...
- Find a way...
...Not to bother me
every three minutes.
- Me...
- Take me to Sant'Angelo.
- Oh, I'm going there.
- I thought so.
There are warm waters.
- There are dens of groupers.
- Nicola, you should do it...
...The fishing contest,
even with a cold.
Yes, it's a unique opportunity.
If you win the hundred thousand pounds,
what will you give me?
Look, honey, I don't do it
for the money...
...But just for the satisfaction
of competition.
Hundred thousand francs says you suck?
We can pay Gennaro, if we
fish with dynamite.
- But it's dangerous.
- No, it's simple.
Throw the bomb in the
shallow water...
...and get pounds, or tons.
- Hold this.
- I didn't know you smoked.
I don't, you idiot! The cigarette
will light the fuse.
Didn't you see
"Guns of Navarrone"?
No, my glasses were broken.
- Come on. Turn, turn.
- You said...
Yes, yes.
Stop!
- What is it?
- Police!
- What do we do? - You hold it.
- If they find it...
...We are done for.
- What are you doing?
- Can't you see I'm digging.
Put it here.
- Please, mother, please.
- Act nonchalant.
Brother, what are you doing?
Singing.
Run away, run away, run away,
escapes. Let us flee, we'll fly...
First, you start on the boat
for eighteen hours,...
...arrive in Naples
at half past seven p. m...
...then to the Commissioner's
section of the port.
Are you listening, Sassu?
Excuse me, Mr. Commissioner, but
I'm keeping an eye out.
- Especially in this area.
- What?
Yes, Commissioner.
From information I found...
...It's here that women,
protected by the thick bushes,...
...Sunbathe in the nude.
Nude! That's a serious offense.
Sassu! You're not being
professional!
You see naked women everywhere.
Want some friendly advice?
Get married.
At my age?
Then I'll start at six,
fly to Naples...
...At nineteen-thirty,
I'll leave the Commissioner.
Do you hear me, Doctor?
- Eh? Yes, yes, I hear you.
- Ah.
Friend, your time is up, now
it starts to double.
Here she is! Here she is, go down.
That boat over there
in the sea.
Oh... no!
Go away!
What do you want with me?
Go away!
Do not be alarmed, miss,
I'm a friend.
I come to pay you a visit.
Go away.
Go back, I'm topless.
I'm open-minded.
I'm not too formal.
Back.
Bobby, get him.
Back.
Back.
Damn you!
Oh, oh. Down, go.
Retrieve the jar.
What if the police come back?
Do you think I plan to spend
the day here?
My brother.
Damn the luck,
the explosives...
...Buried there?
- Yes, right where the tent is!
What do we do?
- What do you think?
- I don't know.
- Uh, look who's here!
- Who is it?
The draculessa!
Mamma Mia!
What do we do?
That was our can!
We scare her.
Wouldn't it be bad to scare her?
Cucu.
Oh dear, you've come
to have a beer with me?
No.
- Will you drink a beer?
- Ah yes, yes, thank you.
I'm happy your right leg
is healthy.
- Which leg?
- Your crazy leg.
- What do you mean?
- You're not lame any more?
Ah yes, the Ischia air
and soil, it's a miracle.
- Come here, young man.
- Why?
I'm happy you're cured,
kiss me.
I'd rather be shot.
Oh!
- Throw it!
- Where do I throw it?
- Throw it out a ways...
- you say... I should throw it?
- You throw well, eh?
- Shit!
A tuna!
A salmon!
Unfortunately, no grouper.
I'll kill you.
Criminals.
I will report you...
...To the police.
Hey. Oh no, stop!
This is no longer coincidence.
- This is bad luck.
- What is bad luck?
Unfortunately, what you
bring to me.
Me? But what have I done?
How?
I was after this grouper!
All morning I chased it.
You show up with this stick
and catch it.
It means that I
am better than you!
How's the cold?
Terrible, I have a fever.
- Indigestion?
- No.
It's from the rain on the
terrace last night.
Here the athletes are soft.
A few little drops of rain
make you sick.
Come on, don't look like that.
You're ugly when you
get angry.
Look, Nicole.
- My sweet, darling of the same name...
- Yes?
I must tell you one thing
very intimate, very delicate.
- Are you listening?
- Tell me.
Yes? You do not want to know,
Do you understand? Go!
Idiot.
- What do you think?
- It sucks.
No, I mean the leg... doesn't
it seem a little swollen?
- Should you eat less?
- One can also die...
...And you make fun of it.
By the way,...
...How long will you be mad?
What do I know.
What is your brother doing?
It's my idea.
I put him to work.
I read a statistic,
on Italian beaches...
Items are lost every day...
jewelry or money...
...Worth
fifteen million.
Have you ever seen that...
Eh?
- How is it going?
- Nothing.
Ugh, but I'm hungry.
What time is it? Come on.
We'll eat lunch!
- What about this?
- But...
- You worry me.
- Max!
Help, it is here.
the buried jewelry...
...Somewhere.
Help, Massimo!
At last I've found you.
I've looked everywhere.
Vania.
- Eh?
- Can you hear me?
- Yes
- Ah.
But!
- What is it?
- Evelin, she said...
After the beautiful letter
that I wrote...
...Definitely a yes. In fact,
The answer is very short.
I want you to translate it.
("Sorry but I cannot
accept your date.
Either now or ever").
Fine! She was not that great.
Well! Now don't pretend you
don't care.
Do you expect a woman to give
in immediately?
Keep trying.
I already tried, too much,
and I'm tired of it.
She clearly said no.
Am I wrong?
Let me finish, often women
say no, when they really want to.
If I were you,
I'd try Evelin again.
Then I write
another letter?
No, no more letters.
This time you have to try...
...To talk to her in person.
- About what?
Eh?
That's a verse of a ballad
popular in Berlin.
"On this day I'm in
love with you".
It's beautiful!
Do one thing, write it on here.
Write how to pronounce it.
Who are you?
Quick, help me.
- What do you want?
- Let me in.
My life is in your hands.
But you are a prisoner.
I am a fugitive,
I escaped from hell.
- From Procida?
- Yes
We always try to escape.
They beat me for years and
years.
- You cannot understand.
- Calm down.
Calm down. Nobody will follow you now.
I'm afraid, yes, I'm afraid.
Hide me.
Hide me, take me anywhere,
but do not take me back there.
Stay calm, stay cool.
This will help you.
- What is it?
- Whisky.
Good! I never drink.
- What are you doing?
- Let's go ashore.
No, stop! I know you want
to turn me over to the police.
- I'll pay you.
- Come on, I'm rich.
I do not need money.
Yes, but two million
would make you comfortable.
Oh, just stop it! Otherwise
I'll send you back.
Forgive me!
I don't know who to trust.
They have always been
so bad to me.
I have to hide you
in a safe place.
- Ah yes. In your own home.
- Yes
Ma... maybe I'm wrong.
No, no. You are right.
Are there many people at your home?
I don't know, brothers...
No, my brother is at a party.
There is only a gardener...
...But he never comes in the house.
Thank you, thank you.
- Shall we dance?
- No thanks, I don't want to dance.
Listen, bring me some toast
and tea.
- Shall we dance?
- Of course.
- Hey, why did you do that?
- What?
You stuck your foot out
to make me fall.
Me?
- Yes you.
- Maybe you stumbled.
- Who stumbled?
- Hey.
Don't touch the nose
or I'll kill you.
Stand still, little man.
Who are you calling little?
I'll break your face.
Watch out, I'm an athlete.
You don't scare me.
Go away, moron,
or I'll break your face.
Who?
Get away.
I'm from Milan!
We pay our taxes.
We do too.
You think I care?
- Don't you?
- What are you doing?
Looking at the girl?
Idiot!
I'm an athlete, remember.
You don't scare me.
I'll break your nose.
Yes, yes, eat your toast.
I'll eat when I like.
No, no.
You're just materialistic.
Don't you realize the beauty
of the nature that surrounds you.
- What do I care about nature.
- Oh, no!
Here is a dream scenario,
a wonderful view...
...On this enchanted bay.
All those hairy men
with glasses, like you,...
...They are insensitive.
You don't think of anything but
gorging on pasta.
That's not true! I also like
nature.
See? You see Naples,
Vesuvius.
You know that Vesuvius
is belching?
Don't smoke more!
It's all full.
I checked everywhere.
I asked if they could
accommodate you.
Ah, behold, there is one free.
- Please, sit down.
- Thank you.
Oh no!
Not this time!
Relax, it's not
important. I have another pair.
I'm sorry, I'm always
the same.
So, it's not only swimming
that interests you,...
...But other sports too.
- What would you suggest?
Wrestling, for example.
It's a sport of sorts.
Ah, for the twist?
It's all been a misunderstanding.
Then why did you trip that
guy?
Me?
It was he who stumbled on
my foot and fell.
Really.
What's this?
What we think when someone acts
like that.
At your service.
I recommend our
excellent fish soup.
Fish? No, for heaven's sake,
I would like a casserole in the oven.
- Sames as him?
- Me too.
Well.
One, two, three, four...
...Five, six hundred,...
...Six hundred and thirty.
And fifteen tip.
Five is enough.
- Do you see who is over there?
- Who is it?
Your dream girl.
Hello.
I'm sick at my stomach.
But did you see? Necklaces,
bracelets, pendants,...
...Rings.
It looks like a Tiffany window.
We need money.
Well, she's living in a tent?
What do you know?
The Americans are eccentric.
I have an idea.
She's in love with you,
you're there, and she gives you...
...A necklace.
- What about father?
Freed from the family yoke.
I'll give you an example...
...From the films of Pasolini.
Take off your glasses
and you won't be able to see.
But she's an old woman,
built like jelly!
I'm very sorry but only a
portion of lasagne was left.
I could just cuss.
- Who should I give it to?
- Miss.
Thanks.
Enjoy your meal.
What are you doing this afternoon?
Oh, I found a hidden place
that is perfect.
Oh yeah?
Then I'm coming too, so
we can be together.
No, no, no, you can't come.
I'm going to sunbathe.
What do you mean?
I sunbathe nude.
- Exactly. I'm coming too!
- You think you're clever?
Well, you know, the air of
Ischia...
What is it called...
...This place?
Sorry, but I go there alone.
Why don't you surrender?
You would reduce the penalty.
No, I never will.
It's not your business.
How do you know that song?
Eh?
I heard it on the radio.
And this is a song of
art,...
..."A Grain of Sand. "
No, then it was copied.
It's a song of the prisoners.
Listen.
I love finding finding...
...Inside a loaf...
...A file, a file,...
...A file of iron, iron.
So I can escape.
I'm done.
What are you doing?
I know how it feels after years
and years to see a beautiful woman...
...Like you.
You know, I've waited seventeen
years.
But you rob banks...
...And shoot at the cashiers...
But I had no money, you understand?
You only understand about
wealth.
With this villa.
What do you know about poverty?
But I like you anyway.
What are you doing? Perhaps
we should go.
I prepared a delicious lunch.
No, I'm not hungry.
But how? For years you only
eat bread and water.
Exactly, my stomach Shrunk.
Yes, I got skinny.
Come on, you will feel
much better afterword.
Come on.
Come, do not be afraid, I sent
the gardener away...
...Until tonight.
Now sit down.
And eat.
This omelette is very good.
No, look, this is a steak.
A steak?
Then these are steaks.
Why are you looking at me?
Because you're different.
- Eh?
- You're so different...
...From all the boys
I know.
Ah.
You know, the usual idiots I
date, spoiled, rich.
What do they know of life?
They do not understand anything,
while you instead...
...You tried to
get ahead,...
...out of poverty.
- Maybe even shot.
- Oh yes.
Life is strange!
Just when you think you're tired...
...Comes Ischia.
It is on this island where
others come to have fun or a...
A fling, and other nonsense.
What a shame!
- Why don't you surrender?
- Do not meddle...
...in my business.
- Come here!
- No, no, no.
Now you go to sleep.
Sleep? Don't even think about it.
But how? You spent three days
and three sleepless nights...
...In the middle of the sea.
- Me?
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I
remember...
Don't make a fuss, come!
Oh, of course, of course.
Listen.
After...
After, you will come to me?
Yes, yes.
- So I'll be quiet?
- Yes
What happened, have
you become an orphan?
Why?
Are you alone?
Where is your brother?
He is making
a great sacrifice.
A sacrifice for the common good.
He is a true brother
in times of need.
Well? How was it?
I'm ashamed!
I've become a call girl.
Here I'll get some sleep!
And that's my mom?
Uh, my mom.
Warning! Attention please!
Begin the quarter-finals
of the diving race...
...Without a respirator.
Prepare Mr.
Gastone Di Giovanni.
Go!
Quit, quit, please,
Come on.
Nicola has to win.
- Get out, get out.
- Another thousand on Nicola.
- Accepted.
- Get out, get out!
Has he set up house down there?
What strength.
Time seventy-two seconds,
eighteen meters deep.
Get ready,
Mr. Nicola Molino.
One moment, wait.
- What happened?
- Well!
What do the police want?
Nicola Molino?
That's me.
You must come with us now.
Me? Are you kidding?
I did nothing.
I have things to do.
I have the quarter-finals.
You must come with the police.
They're making an example of him?
Please, let me dive, and
then I'll turn myself in.
- I'm an athlete, I can not...
- Basta.
I'm sorry, those are our orders.
Sorry, the flippers.
Well then...
They're really taking him away!
- But what has he done?
- Maybe for traffic violations...
...or drugs.
Don't be stupid.
Pay up on the bet. Next!
No, my friend, no payment,
the race was not run.
- So I'll keep the drinks for myself.
- I knew it!
Sir, you should not stop
breathing.
Ah yes, sorry, thank you.
What are you doing?
Evelin, Evelin. It's me.
I do not understand, do you mind...
I don't understand.
- Meine Frau.
- I don't understand.
Got it?
Sure.
I understand it, but that's not
much of an explanation.
- Cup,"taxes. "
- Taxes.
- Spoons, "Loeffel. "
- Loeffel.
Bravo.
- Ice cream, "eis. "
- Eis.
Eis.
Can I buy another eis?
Come on, now we have finished,
see you tomorrow, eh?
Eh, Miss, when you look like that,
I always know.
Hello, Lello.
Hello.
Well, what's happening on the
German front?
It's well, very well,
all set.
That woman is hot and impetuous.
I would like to know who said...
...That German women are
cold. - Ah, yes?
Now that she is almost falling...
...At my feet,
I understand...
...That only her resistance
piqued my interest.
Now I don't like her as much.
But you said that she was
hot and impetuous.
Yes, but I don't like that,
and then the German...
...It's too different, we
can't talk to each other.
The language is an obstacle.
Instead, a girl like you...
I tell you that I love you
and you understand me.
Maybe we should hold hands.
- Hold my hand...
- What?
- We can't kiss?
- No.
Didn't you understand?
I said that I love you.
And I'm telling you no.
And I don't care at all.
What are you doing? I told you no.
Remember what you taught me?
What?
When a woman says no
it means maybe.
Here, every kiss
reminds me...
that our debt...
No, really, it's yours.
I ruined the vacation.
Loving all the women.
At least you got some in your
adventure.
- Please do not remind me.
- Come on, come on.
- Where?
- Our last chance.
- To settle the issue with Gennaro.
- I'm coming too?
- Hello.
- Hello!
Let me.
Did you know
Nicola was arrested?
Who knows what he has done!
Now what do we do?
This is what we do, we drink
to something!
Yes, but who pays?
All drinks limited to
five thousand. Deal?
- Always ready, brother.
- So, come on.
This time I'll get you.
"Z"
"Z"?
Zaira, Zaza, Zena, Zita,
Zelmira, Zoe,...
...Zeferino, Zurlini, Zenobia...
- Nine...
- Zenobia... Zikipaki-Zikipu!
- And who is Zikipaki-Zikipu?
The daughter of a great chief.
Ah, you're back.
Where's the seventy thousand?
This is it, and give us the change.
This is glass, cheap glass.
So?
We ask you to let us
step aside for a moment.
Fine, fine, just bring me
the money.
- Look, I've got an idea.
- Help me, Mother...
- You go over and cause a fight.
- Me?
- Yes, why not?
- He'll punch me, no, no.
It's simple, listen, you
have glasses...
If he punches a guy with glasses,
he could go to jail.
But if we do not press charges,
he'll forgive the debt, eh?
You think we should do it?
Go now, be quiet,
go, go.
Bring it on. Come on, bring it on!
- Sir.
- Um...
- Courage.
- Um...
Wait a minute.
Dear Mr. Gennaro,
we would like forgiveness...
...of the seventy thousand
Italian lire...
Absolutely not.
Wretch!
Thanks, Mother,
I'm such a man.
Oh, poor dear.
- Ah!
- Shut up, I feel like...
...I'm lost.
- Hold on, please.
- I like you, I love you.
For years
I have not seen a woman.
I do not even remember
what they are like.
Frankly, all I know
about women...
...I learned from stories of
friends, the doodles I did...
...On the walls of the cell.
Enough with the theory,
Teach me how to kiss.
Nanni, listen.
You must return to prison.
- No, never.
- You have to.
No, if I go back to prison,
I'll be there when I'm old.
I'd better take advantage
of this opportunity.
- I...
- I should stay out.
Nanni, listen, when you get out
of prison...
...You will be thirty-seven.
- Eh.
You will have a new life,
and then I...
then... I might love you.
You?
- You love me?
- Yes, but on one condition.
Now you pick up the phone,
call the Commissioner...
...And return.
So you will not
increase your punishment.
- Call.
- No, I can not.
But why?
Why do you want me to go back
to those people?
You do not know what life is
like in a cell...
...And forced labor,
a cell and forced labor.
It's better to enjoy these days
of freedom on the run...
...Like a beast,
before I go back,...
...The penalty will increase,
but I really don't care.
You know why? Here alone,
I'll have something to remember.
The unforgettable hours
spent with you.
Yes, yes, dear.
Operator?
I want the Commissioner.
Hello, Commissioner?
Commissioner.
My name is Nanni Colizzi.
I escaped from Procida
and I want to surrender.
- I am a... (TELEPHONE) You
are joking.
It's been ten years since
anyone escaped from Procida.
The heat must have gone
to his head.
- Molino, Nicola!
- Ah, that's me.
Good morning.
Come in.
Excuse me, I was stripped,
but they brought me...
...my clothes
and I have not had time...
Sit down.
This is an injustice, you know?
Why am I treated like a thug?
Do you know that the quarter-
finals are ruined?
- What has been ruined?
- The quarter-finals, the race.
- I protest.
- You can protest...
...Because you are known here,
are you not?
I don't know, but I am innocent.
- Innocent.
- Of course, what have I done wrong?
- Where were you earlier?
- Well, at lunch.
- And then?
- And then...
Then, before the race,
I was on the beach...
On the beach, lucky you, that
you could go to the beach.
So, on the beach eh?
Then we read...
...Sassu's report.
("On the Beach,
happened to be...
...At Punta del Faro
I watched a person...
...of young age...
...Turned out to be Nicola
Molino,... ")
("... That, in womens' clothes,
walked to the beach.
After that the person...
...removed the
womens' clothing...
...keeping on two pieces. ")
But Commissioner,
let me explain.
I understand now, OK?
Do not interrupt me.
("After a few minutes she
took off one of the two pieces,...
...the top...
...And soon after,...
...Since it was a remote area...
...also the bottom part. ")
Yuck!
"Yuck," it does not say that
here.
("Signed, Agent
Sassu Daniele. ")
- Ah, you laugh?
- Have you read that correctly?
You don't think so!
Of course I read that correctly.
It says, Nicola Molino.
No, Nicole Molino...
She's a woman.
Ni-co-le, a French female.
Well... Perhaps, then, it's
not written too clear.
We must ask the drafter
of the report.
Call agent Sassu.
Sassu is not here today,
Commissioner.
He's gone to Naples but
will be back tomorrow.
Everyone else goes somewhere,
and I'm always here, here, here.
It's a joke, Michael.
Oh, it's soup.
Good.
You're not going to eat?
I don't want to eat with you!
Ah, well! You're the guilty
one, eh?
What should I say? You've
ruined the quarter-finals,...
...You've ruined everything,
I've even been sent to jail.
You want to see me on the
guillotine? on the gallows?
I've denounced you.
Spy.
You're right! So learn to
sunbathe in your swimsuit.
What do you want?
Are you jealous, eh?
Of him?
You're imagining.
Then you're a moralist.
Stop! You can call me
whatever you like...
...as most French.
But what annoys me most...
...He got to see more than me.
Do you know what I would have given
to take a peek, eh?
What?
A lot!
I mean, I have no reason to
think that you would.
What do I know about you?
Only that you care about
underwater fishing,...
...That you don't like women.
Indeed, I have the impression that...
...You get nervous.
I like women a lot.
Don't you think I'm cute?
You've never tried to kiss
me.
Have you never kissed
a woman?
I believe you have.
I held my breath for 30 seconds.
- Is that a record?
- Well, almost.
Well?
You, guys.
Oh!
Hey.
- Eh?
- Please.
That's not a good idea...
...This is not the place
to make out.
- Excuse us, Commissioner.
- You're excused.
I spoke with agent Sassu, and
the misunderstanding was cleared up.
- So, can we go?
- It's all over?
You have to pay
a fine.
Oh, okay.
- You can go. - Goodbye,
Commissioner.
- Goodbye.
- Good day.
- If we hurry, we may have
time. - For what?
- To sunbathe before
sunset. - Okay, let's go.
A sunbath at sunset.
But!
Commissioner.
An urgent call.
I knew it.
Where am I?
In the middle of the ocean?
She tricked me.
I'm stranded in the ocean.
Help.
Oh, damn it!
Which way should I go?
Oh, Mother, what have I done
to deserve this?
Get out!
What I want, ma'am,
when I come here...
...A guy like me,
modestly, to have all of them...
...In my arms.
Did you have many adventures?
I'd rather not talk about it.
I understand, you're a gentleman.
Have you booked a hotel
in Capri?
- The Quisisana.
- Me too.
We must ensure that these
inconveniences stop.
Don't you think?
Oh sure. What could be done?
- I don't know.
- Let's get married.
Just think, I would not even
have to change my surname.
Eh!
And you wouldn't have to
sleep on the terrace.
I'm going to sneak a kiss.
Look, someone dropped a hat
in the sea.
- Make a wish.
- Quick.
Tell me?
Goodbye!
- Lucky them!
- Eh!
We'll see you next year!
Work! Work!
Spartacus!