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Domicile Conjugal (Bed & Board) (1970)
There, Mademoiselle
No... it's Madame! This magazine, please That poster of Nureyev... may I have it? - Help yourself - Lovely... Terrific! - How much? - Two francs Thank you... Mademoiselle... No... it's Madame! You go ahead, I'm slow I'm late! I forgot the red You're dyeing them red? We did that at school: We'd stick a flower in ink... it'd turn black or blue It was so messy we'd get hell! They're turning red now They're going to ban those products I heard it on TV What the hell for? because of water pollution! Shaving cream, too From now on, only electric razors! Look how red they are! That was quick! My immersion-heater... Funny! There's one that stays white... Yes... and I don't know why How's the artist? Damn it, Ginette! I pay you to work for me! Know what I did? Bought new pajamas But I only kept the top What do you say to that? Not a thing! You want an engraved invitation? The flowers are here... The blue are now red! No... vice-versa! It's an old story. I said... "Mme Fournier, be nice..." "My radio doesn't bother anyone" She says: "So, sue me!" After all, I pay big taxes, right? She just makes buttonholes! I should have sued her then... If I had it to do over... They turned red! You should go into business for yourself Telephone! Hurry up! I'll call her... hang on! Oh, hello... Could you tell my wife her mother's calling? Hello mama... I can't hear... The garbage cans! Tonight? I'm sure we're free Need anything? Right... at 8:30! See you tonight We're invited to dinner at 8:15 I'll close up right away I'll get you yet! Give me a hand, please Coming, dear! I'm coming... I'm almost ready! You can set your clock by him He's an opera singer: always exits on cue! You're neighbors, aren't you? Same floor, next door He's always right on time... and always mad at his wife! She's like your flowers... A little red here, a little blue there... Look over there! Christine, would you get the wine? The personnel wanted to work! Antoine, come help me Go ahead... That bottle, please The Senator had a Mercedes... a foreign car: bad politics! So he got a Citron I got the Mercedes! I can sell it Striglias? Striglias... often confused with oubiglias From my neighbor... Plates? I thought you brought them... for Mother's Day Mother's Day? I'm sorry, mama, I forgot! Mother's Day is a Nazi invention... Yes... during the war... I put in aspirin Aspirin in the water? That's nonsense. You should cut the stems I do that too... about 1/2 inch Out of the water? That's useless, too... You have to cut them in the water, so that... no air gets in The water goes straight up to the flower Your Japanese expert said that? They know all about flowers Floral art... What about me? Don't I get any soup? I spoke to the Senator... He might invest in your idea: A self-service flower stand I'm not interested anymore I thought it over... Too much spoilage... right? Except near a cemetery; you could sell wreaths... I've got a new interest... A process to obtain Absolute Red Too bad. The Senator loves flowers Anyway... he says you'll get a phone soon Then pupils can call me directly! You got the message? Marianne... She came. Her dentist cancelled The little virtuoso... who plays better than you? Don't exaggerate! She is gifted, but... her mother forgets to pay and... You won't ask? I will! You're in the courtyard I'll grab her coming out, and ask her! I've got an idea! If she forgets, let her go Just close the door. Then play a tune so Antoine knows! Play what? - "River Kwai?" - No, not that! "Mademoiselle from Armentieres?" Something livelier "Autumn Leaves?" Too slow! "Carmen?" "The Jewel Song?" What's that? "The Marseillaise!" Of course! "The Marseillaise?" It's just right! Oh, no! Can't be done... You can't play it... Not on a violin! Why not? Because: "You can't fiddle around..." "with a national anthem!" Everyone knows that... I'll get the light Something's creepy about him Doesn't Mme. Martin know who he is? No! He sublets. In 3 months... he's had no visits, no mail! Didn't you notice his hairy hands... with forked fingers... and sharp nails that come out at night... and grab at women's legs! at women's legs! Damn! I forgot the light Don't look! I'm reading I think naked men are ugly! How do women stand it? Naked men are repulsive! - Not all men... - Yes, all men! Except one! That's true... All... except one! Who's the pin-up? Nureyev. A great dancer... and handsome My poor breasts! I can't breast-feed a child Me neither! Let him feed himself! Let's see... Let me see your breasts! What's wrong with them? Hey, they don't match! You're crazy! One's bigger than the other It's not true It is true! Then it's normal! Not at all... If they had names they'd be... Laurel... and Hardy! Or maybe: Don Quixote... and the little one: Sancho Panza It's not funny! A warm bed at night... Get up! My pupil's coming Hello Marianne I'll call my wife It's your pupil... I'll leave you now... Did you practice? Your scales and "sostenuto"? About an hour a day Shall we start right in? Think about your attacks, and you tone Anybody here? Excuse me, could you tell me... Doinel! - How are you? - Same as always What're you doing? Coloring flowers Your own business? No... I work for a florist Look like hard work They say it takes a lazy man to work hard Married? Yes, I live here... Hear that violin? My wife... She gives lessons Ah, a musician You always did like music... and nice bourgeois girls! I never looked at it that way For me, it's not just the girl... It's her family: father, mother... I enjoy parents... when they're not my own! That your truck out front? Can't park there I gave you a ticket. Want two? Sure, Dad, make it a pair! I'm supposed to fix a TV set You know a... Desdoigts? M. Desbois... up there That's funny... Maybe he's gone out I'd be surprised... He hasn't, for 25 years Sort of voluntary confinement Says he won't go out till Marshal who is... Marshal Juin? No, the one who ran France during the war Marshal Petain! Won't go out till Marshal Petain... is buried in Verdun! Where is he? The TV repairman is here About time! Hurry up! Take it easy! How's Josianne? Didn't you marry her? No. She quit work to marry... an astronaut! "Big pay and always away!" She lives on Avenue Foch! She's got it made! He married her because he knocked her up I think she let herself... because... yeah, you get me? Excuse me... be right back! You're getting good! Thanks to Mme. Doinel... I can never tell whether it's my wife or Marianne playing Soon you'll give the lessons... and my wife will pay you! Oh, I forgot to pay your wife! It doesn't matter... Yes, yes! I forgot last time too! No hurry... Two lessons Well, thank you... goodbye... Hello... What's that? A library staircase You got 30 francs? Heavy? No... What are you doing? Practicing Why up there? To get used to heights I got panicky at my last concert... Iooking into the orchestra pit I was really just dizzy... so I'm practicing What are you doing! I'm thinking... I'll bet!.. Let me get down Close your eyes Oh, no! I know you! Nothing's further from my mind... I won't touch you! Promise? Scout's honor! You were never a boy scout! You bet I wasn't! Close your eyes! Eyes closed? Now open them What's that? A library staircase. I've always wanted one We don't have a library! Have to begin somewhere... I have a surprise for you... The Senator came through! We've got our telephone! Not bad... I told Lucien you'd write the Senator Before I thank him... does it work? What do I dial to find out the time? Odeon 84-00 Cochin Hospital? Sorry, wrong number! I got a hospital! Dial the hospital and see what you get How's the letter? Almost finished Can I read it? "Thanks for getting us, in one week..." "what others wait years for!" You can't send that! It's true, isn't it? Listen! He's Lucien's customer... You can't do that! I can't?.. Then you write him! I will! You're a selfish monster! Everybody has to help you! I didn't ask for anything I didn't want the damn telephone! Why? Because friends might call us? What if we're bored? I don't know what boredom is! I know some people get bored... but I don't know what it means! There's always something to do... cut the pages of a book... do crossword puzzles, take notes... always something to do! I'd like a 30-hour day... because I'm never bored! I wish I were 60... I'd only need 5 hours sleep! I'm going to the toilet! Going to school? Aren't you on strike? You're an early bird... - It's cold... - Want a set of keys? Anyway, they're right here Give me a hand... Get a move on, Marcel! No more noise? They're plastic... On wheels? No! The new management got them... they're noiseless! You look nervous I'm testing a product I invented If it works, I get Absolute Red... If not, I read the want ads! I studied our horoscope. Very favorable! Big things ahead for you and me I used too much... What do you think? Read the want ads! Important new American hydraulic company... seeks dynamic young man speaking English... "Dear sir: I wish to recommend..." "the son of an old friend." "Former Scout leader and a loyal Frenchman... "he is completely fluent in..." the language of Shakespeare." "His dynamism should be useful to your firm." Could you give this letter to the director? You can come in now Just a minute The applicant is here - Say hello first - Hello! Now hurry up Monsieur Max, please - My little cream puff! - Down, boy! Monsieur Max?.. He's here Watch out! I love cream puffs! If I had breasts I'd fondle them all day A very nice letter... You speak... You speak English well? A little... You read it better than you speak it The problem... for our employees here... is transportation. You have a car? You can't start at the top, of course I'll put you on the scale-models We've made a model of a harbor... with the port installations You'll maneuver the boats... Like the job? You'll see: my employees... are so happy here... they hate to stay home on Sundays! That is the port... based on future plans At present, the harbor silts up So we've built a dike from there to there Otherwise, it's accurate to scale Your job will be... to run the boats by remote control Push a button and away they go! Like the job? "You'll see: my employees..." "are so happy here..." "they hate to stay home Sundays!" He says that to all the new ones! Imagine writing that in a newspaper! Listen: it's about... the Common Market, in Brussels "Afterwards, in their rooms..." "each delegate found..." "a sensuous call-girl awaiting him!" Impossible! It's true! Imagine... in Le Monde! "each delegate found..." "a sensuous call-girl awaiting him!" It's not true! Read it yourself "each delegate found a sumptuous..." "collation awaiting him!" You liar! Lights out Got you, huh? Got to tell you something tomorrow Tomorrow... Why not now? You couldn't sleep I bought some A new brand First-class! Damn! There's a guy I know Owes me money. He'll be embarrassed... I owe you 30 francs, right? You lend me 20 more... you get the 50 back all at once Well, so long... Where's your violin? It's not a lesson Where you going? Do you always tell me where you go? See you tonight Dressmaker - Gynecologist Notary public NATURAL CHILDBIRTH "Watch out for the contraction..." "Short breaths... Keep going! Keep going!" "Very good, very good..." "go on! Go on..." "Stay relaxed... very good, very good..." "Go on, go on, go on!" I have something for you Advertising... Looks like Mme Doinel... got stung by a mosquito That was no mosquito! Look! The strangler! Looks mean... I'm coming, dear! It's soon, isn't it? You're so lucky! M. Doinel?.. Not here Don't hang up! The hospital? I'll give him the message A girl or a boy? Call Antoine! It's a boy! Antoine... congratulations! It's a lovely little boy He's under the sign of Aquarius He's in the arms of Morpheus! Dine with us? I'll stay with Christine Go on... she's waiting Not even one flower! He came as soon as they called! He had no time! Let's get them the extra room Knock out the wall... it'll be perfect Hold his head up! What a terrific child! Of course, I knew he would be... He'll be the writer I wanted to be Victor Hugo or nothing! What Napoleon did with the sword... you'll do with the pen! He smiled at me, before... Babies only smile after 3 weeks! He smiled at me! A photographer's here to take pictures I'm too tired now But I'm not too tired! Send him in... I'd like to be alone now You can eat with my parents I turned them down to stay with you I can tell you a story, or we can listen to the radio... Go away! Please... See you tomorrow Tonight, I didn't... want to leave you by yourself I waited for the child by myself! Good news: I'm a father! It's a boy - Happy? - And how! I owe you 50 frs, right? Lend me 50 more? I'll pay you 100... in a lump sum... - You must be real happy! - And how! Is Jean there? May I speak to Jean? Tell him Antoine Doinel is a father... Tell him I have a little boy... Don't forget... You have to register his birth... We ought to decide... I prefer Ghislain It's pretentious: "Little Lord Fauntleroy" Got a better idea? Alphonse... I like Alphonse... Makes him sound like a peasant I have an uncle Ghislain... Mother: Christine Darbon Doinel... The baby's name? Alphonse How'd it go? It's a boy How'd it go? Difficult, at first... but she's fine now Congratulations! Give me a hand I'm glad it's a boy - Still by yourself? - For another week... You must be lonely up there, in bed... at night, alone... No, no... I'm fine! Is he cute? All pink, with tiny hands... Congratulations! His eyes're open Who's he look like? Watch out for him: lot of kidnappings lately! The strangler... We call him that, too Don't stare! Right... Drinks on the house! On the house? A real "blessed event!" Everybody... even you! There, it's done! Have to be in shape! Terrific! - Like it, Sylvana? - Extraordinary! That'll be our room No street noise... I can wave from my window The baby's room'll be there So you like it? Terrific! I have to get dinner ready I saw you! You go for her, eh? Sylvana, that's who! You go for her! A nice buxom Italian... sexy mouth! You bastard... Remember our first kiss? I was petrified! What?.. You did it all! You're mistaken... I remember very well... We were in a taxi It stopped. I leaned over... to give you a little goodnight kiss I saw your lips part I said to myself... This is it! You're out of your mind! I liked it, but you took the initiative... That's your story! You grabbed me... and I let you It wasn't that way at all! Here's exactly how you were... Your head thrown back... eyes closed, lips slightly open... like this... You'd thought about it About us kissing, one day All girls think about that They do, eh? So you admit it! I'll take Ghislain now He didn't cry once Good. I can work at home again soon You have some mail It's a certificate You named him Alphonse? Look... Antoine did it! He won't get away with it! He knew I didn't want that name! I'd lay her badly but I'd lay her gladly! Alphonse'll be a great writer Know what I'm going to do? Educate him myself... at home. Alphonse'll only learn... important things! We'll see... Come, Ghislain... Alphonse! Pretty little bottom... Alphonse? Just like his mother! Watch papa... He's going to the bathroom... It's an arctic expedition! Look... A flashlight... A book... Uncut pages, so... a knife! Now what? A newspaper! - You forgot to go shopping - For what? I left you a list I didn't see any list There's nothing to eat! I wrote it all down for you Get Mme Martin... to baby-sit. We'll go out She's not home Nothing at all? Only baby-food Yummy! Let's eat that If he wakes up... You know Alphonse never wakes up! We'll buy more tomorrow Tonight, we eat! Theater Tonight, live from Marienbad Look... The Strangler! Did you know he was on TV? No. Is he a singer? He does imitations! You kept an old picture of me... Not bad, eh? Last year... was it in Carlsbad... or Marienbad? Once again I walk through the drawing rooms... the long corridors... luxurious, lugubrious... I am not an apparition I am a woman, which is... just the opposite! You say I'm exceptional... You're right, I am! He saw you last night! Terrific! Why didn't you tell us... you were a comedian! Need some help, Doinel? THE NEXT MORNING Remember me? I brought you something Come in You noticed? I saw it fall in the water Why didn't you say anything? Because the man said the model was fragile I was sorry about the bracelet But I didn't want to bother you I thought you'd want it Mlle Maki, my roommate Won't you sit down? I'm sorry, I have to go... We were just having tea... I'm already late... I'll show you out We never see you any more You like working for the Americans? Yes. It gives me time to think I'm writing a novel No kidding! My wife doesn't know. I write at night A novelist? Like Baudelaire... He started with flowers, too He didn't write novels What about "Flowers of Evil?" That's poetry I know more about him than you I just read an article You know he was a priest's son? His father was an ordained priest Then he worked for a family: Choiseul-Praslin... as a tutor... Open the door What's your novel about? Life in general... my youth... From the particular to the general... Oh? Well, we'll have to read it I get an autographed copy, right? "For Cesarin" What's the title? Haven't found one yet It shouldn't be hard... Any trumpets in your novel? Any drums? Then call it: "Neither Trumpets nor Drums!" Not bad, eh? What do you want? We're closed... What are you looking for? A fight! This is a little place... no action... We cater to old folks and children You don't want to fight them, right? If you want a fight, there's a cafe... at the corner. You'll get... what you're looking for! What's that? "Japanese Women?" I need it for my work Let's see... You look good in glasses I don't like them I've finished I know why you like glasses... She wore them Who? Your first girl No she didn't I thought she did She made you suffer... She had me doing in circles! What a nightmare! Then, one night, it was all over At 8 PM, I loved her... By 9 PM, I couldn't stand her I was cured! She said the wrong thing... Exactly... And I can't even remember what It was a relief If I ask something, will you do it? It depends... Quibbling already! Will you do it? Ask me! Put your glasses on again? - Am I too early? - Not at all... What shall we do tonight? I thought we'd go to a movie I haven't picked one out yet, though... I thought we might have dinner here... That'd be fine We could go to a movie after I'll be right back My friend is so sorry. Her mother is sick... so she can't stay I hope it's not too serious Her mother is very sick! She has to leave right away DO NOT DISTURB Did you just get home? We worked late Look at the time! I had to eat, didn't I? He tiptoes in... but I'm awake! Know what he says? "I had to eat, didn't I!" "Kyoko loves Antoine" "Come when you can, but can soon" "She says goodnight and thinks of Antoine" This just came Who's it for? I don't know Must be for you No one would send me flowers here Must be for Nicole I don't know... Oh, maybe... For you?.. You must be dreaming! For me, maybe? It's hard to read... written very small... It's for Doinel! - What floor? - Ground floor Was someone with you? No, no one... What's that? Can I see Alphonse, please? He's in there Look at what he brought I know about them... They were for you... I lost them... then I thought it would look silly... I'm delighted! Have you forgotten we're going out? I haven't forgotten... I can't We're all night... testing, tonight... And what's this? Nose?.. "Hana" "Hana"... not bad You answer the phone with "Machi machi" What does that mean? No... it's "Mochi mochi" It means "Hello" Then if you say "Hello, hello"... it's four "mochis?" No, just two! This is nice, isn't it? If I commit suicide with someone... I'd like it to be you Her name is Kyoko, she loves you" If she were just another woman... but she's not. She's another world... You see what I mean? What's that? A lesson... At this hour? What's that: your violin? I'm going. I'll get Alphonse tomorrow Listen, I'll sleep in the chair... you can have the bed Not in the same room! All right! Not in the same room! What a mess! You left without waking me this morning! Mind if I kiss Alphonse? We had to talk... remember? We'll always have time to talk! Besides, I was late for work Your parents are coming for dinner... and to see the baby Didn't you say no? How could I? You're out of your mind! I haven't told mother... Call them! Call it off! It's too late They've left by now They'll understand... when they see all this! You're disgusting! What'll my mother think? Help me! My manuscript! A lot you care! We invited ourselves Here, take this... Let's see Alphonse What's that? A duck for Alphonse - Anything wrong? - I'm fine... I'm fine! The duck isn't for you! You see, I just read a novel called: "The Mischievous Duck" It's about a judge who falls in love... with a duck, like this... his son's toy! Couldn't happen to Antoine He loves people, not things... though he's very partial to yellow! Just look at him! He's cute! He's grown... Look at the duck! Come to mama... He wants to walk... watch! He's too young! He is not amused! I'll call you Good... Sorry about tonight... I was tired We all were... Don't catch cold Help me with the mattress Must we do this? If I sleep next to you... the world won't end! I'm not like you! I hate what is vague... elusive... ambiguous... I like what is clear! Don't come near me... don't touch me! That's the way you want it! All right! Goodbye! TUESDAY THURSDAY SATURDAY I don't know what I'm going to do You're living alone? More or less... Doesn't it bother you? I don't mind solitude When I'm alone... at night... I'm afraid I'd marry a streetlight if it could talk! Oh, it's you... Antoine came yesterday, so... Believe me, he'll come back I don't think so I handled it badly Instead of smoothing it over... I panicked and made it worse It takes patience. All men are children I thought you loved her? Very much! At first I couldn't get over her good manners So polite! Funny, yet touching... Then it got on my nerves! "Thank you for this..." "Thank you for that..." "Thanks one and all!" I called her "Peggy Proper" Peggy, because of her British reserve.... Proper, because she was! Know what I mean? I was a virgin... I'm not proud of it! I dated as much as I wanted But I was scared and ignorant... Imagine: a virgin at 20! I was a living anachronism! I had false ideas about life, too... But it is fascinating! No, the truth is... that life is disgusting! You should see her smoke! She doesn't know how Like an awkward little girl... acting grown up! He's really funny And I'm never bored, with him Those colds of his! At first, when he'd sniffle... I wanted to say: "Blow your nose!" Now, when he doesn't sniffle... I think he's sick! My husband! Was Alphonse good? Fine! He smiles and blows kisses... You noticed... Did you see his tooth? A little tooth! I packed your summer clothes I'll get them another time Hook me up. I'm late... He's playing with a program, okay? No! He'll tear it I went to the ballet... What's written on it? Nureyev's autograph... We went backstage afterwards That's so provincial! Bothering a guy who's danced for 2 hours! Now don't start that! I'm ready to baby-sit Am I too early? I can come back... Not at all! To baby-sit A taxi, please: 17 rue Descazes Six minutes?... Thank you I'm going out... But you can stay with Alphonse... I'll walk you down Goodnight... Be good Watch TV if you like Take care of him Here, this is yours I gave it to you It's yours! Remember how you used to say: "Take your keys in case we fight?" You're in a good mood Surprised? Coming here, you think... "She's going to yell at me again!" - Admit it! - It's not so! - You mustn't... - Oh? I thought... I just thought... Let me go! I was just helping... I don't need help! You're a pain! A real pain! All you know is what you want! A kiss when you want it! Solitude when you want it! I'm not "yours to command!" Not any more! Shut up! I'm sorry... I understand... Oh, I know that line: "I'm too rotten..." "for a girl like you!" I'd never pull that You have... 100 times! Put it in your novel! Well, the truth is... it's all I think about That's why I'm so fouled up Once it's done, we'll get along better Don't send me a copy, I won't read it You're getting even with your parents... washing dirty linen in public I'm not smart but I know this! Writing to settle old scores... isn't art! I've wondered about that That's what's bothering me Do what you must but leave me alone I've never had much pride, so... I can say this: I still love you But I'd rather not see you You can see the baby, but I won't be home The taxi's coming... Where's that cab? They said 6 minutes... Anyway, I hope you're happy I don't think about it It can't work. We hardly talk now You can always smile That's all we do! By evening, I have lock-jaw... from smiling! Restaurants are hell! Between courses... I'm expected to make small talk I can't even eat! It's awful... She thinks I've gone away for 3 days I pity you! Where you going? I don't know... Can I drop you off? No, I'm okay... Just a minute Do you want me to stay with you? Want to go to a movie? No, I'll just go for a walk You're sweet... Kiss me... You are my sister, my daughter, my mother... I'd hoped to be your wife... Wait for me here... No, no... I'll be right back! Don't you like any of them? I didn't know it was like this... It's very simple: You look and choose... then... Follow me... It's slow, right now We used to be busy till the 23rd Now, everyone's broke by the 15th The Administration! When I saw them on TV, I knew we'd had it! Not interested in politics? A little... Anyway, I agree with you: They're all bums Some bums cost us more than others "If you don't follow politics..." "politics will get you in the end!" The end of the month, the ends to an end... the end of a film... I hate all endings! What's that? Nothing... I said... you are especially beautiful Walking in your sleep? Glad to see you... Nothing like a good house... to complete a happy home! - I owe you 100, right? - Me?.. No! Where are you? In a restaurant - And? - And nothing... Nothing special... I just wanted to talk to you Anything wrong? It's just that... I'm with someone Mademoiselle Butterfly? Right... I can't take it! She never talks... she just keeps smiling! She expects me to amuse her... to tell her jokes... I've had it! Tonight, I'm not even trying... Don't be mean It was good talking to you Did you make your call? You should have started - Finished? - What's next? - Some cheese? - No thanks... Sorry! Cheese... I have another call to make Excuse me It's me again Still eating? Yes. It's deadly... as I expected Is the food good? Rumpsteak?.. In silence! Each minute counts triple Feels like I've been here all day! Try to talk to her I'm too bored to try! I just want to beat it!.. And she's ordering cheese! But if she orders dessert... I'll kill myself! Cheese? That one's very good Excuse me... another phone call... Our coffee? Not yet. After dessert... Bring the check with the coffee At the same time! It's me again She just doesn't understand! Now it's a souffle... 20 minutes! Are you there? I'm here... Say something I'm listening You know... I'm listening I can't say it now... I'd like to kiss you Me too... Tenderly Me too... Is that true? It's true DROP DEAD! ONE YEAR LATER... Say "Papi"... Go back inside I'm coming! I'm very late... Thank you... Now they're really in love! HAPPY END sub rip by winmx user (remember?) |
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