1
There is a house
In New Orleans
They call the Rising Sun
And it is the ruin
Of many a poor boy...
- Palm Beach, here we come!
- Yeah!
Wooh!
$5 million, Mitch?
You're a genius.
Well, how could we lose?
It was an open and shut case.
He earned the money,
you sued him for it,
and voil.
I'll never have to do
another manicure again.
We'll ship that brat of mine
off to boarding school.
Yo-ho-ho!
Whoa! That tickles.
Judy, I love you.
I swear to God I do.
You know, we got everything now.
Have you ever been so happy?
Never. I swear,
I've never been this happy in my life.
Me too, lover.
No! No!
Judy?
Judy!
Judy, where are...? Judy!
Judy!
Judy.
Judy-
It's OK. It's OK, Judy.
Judy!
It's OK.
No!
The doctors,
they'll take care of me.
Please don't worry about me.
I love you, Mitch.
I'll love you forever.
- What do we have today, Marvin?
- Mitch Hansen, a palimony attorney.
Car crash. Eurgh!
Isn't he the one that won
that big multimillion-dollar lawsuit?
Yes, it is, sir.
Just goes to show you.
Relax, kid.
You've seen one of these,
you've seen 'em all.
I am now removing epidermis
from frontal to trapezius.
Coming over from malar to mandible.
No visible damage.
Now to maxilla.
Minimal damage in maxilla.
Bruises at clavicle.
Get me the saw. Let's get right to it
and scoop these brains right outta here.
Uh, sir?
What? What?
Sir, I think that may be
a little bit premature.
This man...
- This man...
- What?
He's not dead, sir.
Nonsense. It's rigor mortis.
It's just a nervous reaction.
Interns!
Mr. Hansen!
What happened?
Where's Judy?
Judy!
What have you done to Judy?
Sorry, Mr. Hansen, Judy didn't make it.
Tell me what happened to Judy.
Please, no!
No!
'What have you done to Judy?'
There is a house in New Orleans
They call the Rising Sun
And it is the ruin...
Ooh!
Wooh!
Oh, shut up, Darnell.
You're just trying to cover up
your own immature fears
with hysterical bravado.
Hell, baby, I'm just getting in the mood.
The coroner's waiting
to take me to Beulah Land.
You don't really believe that old story?
How ridiculous!
A man who lurks
around a deserted asylum
and kills people with autopsy tools?
Sure!
Well, what about
when those kids came back from here
with their faces slashed, babbling?
And that dude they found in the sewer?
That was just some old bum.
- What about those missing campers?
- Look, will you guys be cool?
Well, I mean, if you don't mind.
Are you alright, Kiki?
I guess so. It's just...
just that this is
where my mother died.
Do you want me to stop?
I will if you want to, Kiki.
Are you sure?
I know it's a difficult decision,
and you should go if you want,
but if you don't...
Oh, come on, guys.
Is this painful gestalt really necessary?
Right, we'll be back in a flash.
Unless it takes longer.
Maybe we shouldn't go.
Or should we?
Mike?
- Can't you ever make up your mind?
- Yeah, sometimes.
I mean, occasionally.
Uh, once in a while.
I'm sure everything's going
to be OK, honey.
Your mother was a wonderful lady
and if there's a heaven,
she's got a box seat.
Maybe we ought to go.
Unless you wanna stay?
What is it?
My mother's?
Let's go, assholes!
Come on, guys.
She died ten years ago!
I'm hungry-
It will be alright, Kiki.
It will be alright.
At least, I think it will be alright.
After all, you've got me now.
I mean, if that's any comfort to you.
I'm not your mother
and I never could be.
But I can try.
Can I call you "Mom"?
Sure.
What's that music?
You call that music?
That's Tina and the Tots.
They play the local sewers.
I'll take care of it.
Hey! Hey, where's he going?
Stop it! Stop it! Stop it!
Goddammit!
Where the hell is he?
I don't know.
There.
Looks like we got company.
That bastard!
Oh, shit.
The bourgeoisie are here.
He's kinda cute.
Hey, assholes!
Can't you read?
"Do not enter"!
Screw you, Spike Head.
Hey, why don't you consider a job
as a porcupine?
Come on, Darnell.
Leave them alone.
- We don't want any trouble.
- Oh, Mike, don't be such a wimp.
Hey!
Come outwith your hands up.
Maybe I should go
introduce myself to him.
Bet you got that skirt off
quicker last night.
You'll never know.
Boy, the sun looks big today.
What's the matter with you, Darnell?
You haven't said anything
since we sat down.
- Yeah.
- You know?
That drummer was kinda hot.
Make this fucking scumbag
big and hard.
Ha.
A white negro,
a man who has forgotten
the peril of his own people,
one who has assimilated
to the terror of modern imperialism.
- He's got nice eyes.
- Christ!
I think she likes me.
I really think she likes me.
Did you know
that Joe and Phil Niekro
are the winningest brothers tandem
ever in history?
But what does that mean
to you, Dennis?
Gosh.
I don't know.
Why don't you think about it next time
before you open your big mouth?
Both Jane's parents are psychiatrists.
She really can't help it.
Well, I mean, I don't think she can.
Mom?
Yes, Kiki?
Give me a kiss.
Ah, jeez, Kiki! First you want a kiss
and then you don't want a kiss.
- What was that? I heard something.
- I don't know.
Oh, my cards!
My cards are drenched.
Oh, no!
My clothes!
They're all wet.
Oh.
- Kiki, are you alright?
- How would I know?
- Who did that?
- Get lost, fuck brains!
How do you like our little balloons?
Go back to the mall
where you belong.
Well...
take these, motherfuckers.
I'll fix them!
No, let me go, alone.
I have nothing to lose.
I'm single, I have
few hopes, few dreams.
And besides,
that drummer is kinda hot.
Should have known.
Libidinal motivation.
Back in a flash,
and if I'm not,
don't come looking for me.
What do you say?
But, Mom, that's incest!
Ah, Kiki!
Honey,
Darnell's about to show you
the meaning of God.
Snappy joint.
Sweetie?
Is that you?
Ah, I knew it was love at first sight.
My name's Darnell Hart.
My family's from St. Louis,
but I was raised right around here.
Ooh.
Nice set of choppers
you got there, honey.
I got all mine too.
I'm the crust generation.
Rock and roll, baby, right?
Yo!
Hey! Hey!
Are you taking any requests?
Oh, wait, man.
Hey...
I got it. Um...
You're rapping, right?
Right.
Oh, wait, think...
The asylum flick
goes flick, flick, flick
I flick my dick,
I eat my flicky-ticky tick-tick
Aargh!
Honey, all you had to do
was say no.
I hate rap music.
And don't call me "Honey".
Check.
Good move.
So there!
Check... mate.
I hate to lose.
Is that cute guy still down there?
Nah.
Maybe he's coming up here.
I wonder if he plays chess.
- 'You told me to wait, Squire?'
- 'Yes, Crawley.'
'Course of true love running smoothly?'
'Not yet, but it will.
'Get Farmer Marten's mortgage
which you hold in your name
'and bring it up to my house at once.
'It falls due tomorrow, I think.
'By then I shall have thought
of some scheme
'which may make the fair Susan
'a little more tractable.'
'But Australia?
And for two years!
'Whatever should I do
without you all that time?
'You'll think of me
as I'll think of you.
'We shall never be absent
from each other's thoughts.'
- 'You won't forget me out there?'
- 'Never.
- 'And you'll wait for me?'
- 'Always.
'N0 other man shall ever speak
words of love to me.
'I swear it.'
I'm gonna go scrawl
some revolutionary slogans
on the walls downstairs.
It's my patriotic duty.
You mean you gotta take
a non-revolutionary leak.
Take it here.
We'll watch.
Aaah...
Fuck you, Tina.
If you see that cute guy downstairs,
you tell him
I'm up here waiting,
breathlessly.
Malcolm X would disown you.
The people united
will never be defeated.
The people united
will never be defeated.
The people united...
Fuck this shit.
Tina, if you're pulling
something on me,
I'm going to beat you.
Don't! Stop it!
I'm just a female.
I'm your own sister.
It's not too late.
The use of violence
requires more violence.
No! I'm a Republican!
I voted for Reagan! No!
I respect your first-amendment right
to the political beliefs of your choice,
but I don't necessarily agree.
Where the hell is Darnell anyway?
He's probably jamming
with Tina and the Tots.
I don't hear any jamming.
If I know Darnell, he's doing
a different kind of jamming.
Do you think the sun's hot enough
to dry these cards?
Why don't you just try
blowing on them?
Dennis,
did anyone ever tell you that you have
serious psychological aberrations?
My mom, my dad, a few others.
Well, I'm going after Darnell.
Or should I?
He said I shouldn't, but I'm worried now.
That legend about the coroner?
Nobody ever got killed by a legend.
Well, I guess.
Be careful, Mom.
I'll stay if you want me to.
I'll go.
You do that.
'$5 million, Mitch?
You're a genius.'
'Well, how could we lose?
It was an open and shut case.'
'I promised the mother
that succored both of us.
'Straightway closed in death,
'the cold iron of my dagger
'straight between their shoulder blades.'
'Open in the name of the Republic!'
'Now my foster brother...'
'Open the door and do it now!'
'...is in danger.'
'If I hadn't given my promise,
'I'd gladly have shown you
to the whole of Paris.'
'This Way!'
'And so I must give you
to the cold arms of the river.
'Get out! You shan't see him.
'I promised her! I promised her!
'Go away! Go away!'
'Look. He's holding it
in the right hand.'
I wonder whatever happened
to Willie McCovey.
Who's Willie McCovey?
But is it really a matter
of personal choice?
There.
Oh, no!
What's the matter?
It's Wade Boggs.
He's blown away!
What's a Wade Boggs?
Sounds like some kind
of a swamp creature.
Jesus, is he retentive!
Slow down, Wade.
He's coming around second.
He's heading for third.
Oh, he's going
for an inside-the-park home run.
The Fenway crowd is going wild.
He's done it! He's done it!
An inside-the-park home run!
Damn!
Hang in there, Wade buddy.
I'm coming to get you.
Nice hitting!
Darnell?
I don't mean to barge in
or anything,
but...
Pardon me.
And the star pitcher was admitted
to Saint Frida's Hospital
for further drug testing.
It seems that the seizure
of 6g of cocaine
from his overnight luggage
has left some serious doubt
about his future with the Mariners.
"I'd just like to say that I'm confident
that my career is far from over."
"I'd like to be an example
to the youth of America."
"Just say no."
Ah, come on, Wade buddy.
Where are you?
Man, don't be coy.
Did you see a baseball card
come flying through here?
Hey! Hey, what's that?
Hey, man, take it easy.
Hey, no, no! You can have
all my baseball cards for free.
Here's Wally Joyner, Andre Dawson,
Jack Clark, Wayne Garland...
Pete Rose...
I really wanted Mickey Mantle.
'Help me.
'Help me.
'Help me.
'Help me.
'Help me.
'Help me.
'Help me.'
IMO!'
'Help me.
'Help me.
'Help me.
'Help me.
'Help me.
'Help me.'
Alright, where is he?
Where's who?
Cut the crap, Tina.
Where's Darnell?
Darnell?
The cute guy?
He came up here looking for you.
Now, what did you do with him?
Delicious.
Maybe your girlfriends would like
to come up for dessert.
Cut the crap, Tina.
Got a knife?
Bitch!
And I was winning!
So, where'd Darnell go?
Are you accusing me, twerp?
Well, not exactly,
but more or less.
You wanna go at it?
Yeah, if you do.
Ow! Bitch!
Darnell!
His name sounds like music.
Damn!
Darnell.
I wonder if you practice safe sex.
I wonder if you've ever had sex.
Creep!
Oh, Darnell.
You animal!
Oh, damn!
'Julia?
'Julia.
'Julia.
'You're not really my daughter.'
'That wouldn't
make any difference.'
'I might have known you'd say that,
'but it makes me...
"...happy."
I love you, Darnell.
I'll find him,
I'll get him,
I'll love him.
Darnell,
here I come.
And it begins with a conscious desire
to seize one's own destiny,
to transcend the levels
of animal behavior,
libido, hunger, et al...
- ...and to cope with reality.
- What's he doing?
- What is it?
- Isn't that Mom,
fighting with that big dyke
on the edge of the building?
Yeah, that's Mom alright.
But I wouldn't worry about it too much.
He's probably not gonna fall.
Hey, Mom, be careful.
I don't think it's gonna open anymore.
Go on through.
I think it's this way.
What's the matter, Kiki?
- I'm scared, Jane.
- Of what?
Of an empty hospital
that's been closed ten years?
There's just something about it
that gives me the creeps.
Why are you stopping?
This is a labyrinth
and a labyrinth is the symbol
of inner consciousness.
A common archetype.
You stay here. I'll meet you later.
This could take a couple sessions.
Wait!
I got you now, you fucker!
Hey, Darnell?
Come on out.
I'm just a lonely chocolate single, too.
Where you hiding, honey pie?
Hey, where's Kiki?
- I said...
- You're going down, pal.
Darnell?
Kiki? Is that you?
Is that you, Darnell?
I just thought we could have
a few dates, that's all.
One on one.
Soul to soul.
Sorry, baby,
but I already got a girl.
Kiki? Jane?
Where are you?
Kiki!
You're alright!
Of course I am.
Haven't you ever heard of the labyrinth,
symbol of inner consciousness?
But I heard a scream.
And Darnell's missing.
And Dennis.
Missing?
Godiva?
Rapunzel?
Where are you?
Godiva?
Rapunzel?
Are you in there?
It will be alright, Kiki.
There's nothing to be afraid of.
I mean, I don't think there is.
What was that?
Mike, please get me out of here.
Kiki, don't you realize?
It's just Tina and her friends
trying to scare the shit out of us.
It's working.
Rapunzel?
You in there?
Look, you guys stay here.
I'll go find Tina and her girlfriends
just to prove to you
that they're only trying to scare us.
At least they'll know
where Dennis and Darnell are.
I hope so.
But, Jane, in all those horror movies
whenever the girl leaves by herself,
she gets in trouble.
Oh, brother!
So, if you're not back
in five minutes,
I'm coming, too.
I'll be back in five minutes.
- Hey, I thought you were...
- Who?
I don't know.
You've got some nerve,
scaring Mike and Kiki like that.
We have just as much right
to trespass here as you do.
Fuck you!
Oh?
Listen, they're disappearing,
Rapunzel, Godiva, one by one.
This is beginning to sound
like mass delusion,
like that famous Zurich case
when everyone thought
that it was raining Frankfurters.
Believe it, asshole!
Don't be so hostile, bitch.
OK.
Let's see.
How would Mom and Dad deal
with a delusion?
Listen.
If you're a delusion, get lost.
If you're not...
...I can offer you a discount
on biometric therapy
by some excellent Freudians.
Jungians?
How about some nice shock treatment?
Besides, it's the blood pressure.
I know it is.
No!
See? I'm beyond therapy.
Hey, I don't know what you want,
but you got the wrong guy.
Jane, are you in the bathroom?
You went away ages ago.
You lucked out, Spike Head, this time.
Oh, my God!
Hey, listen.
You're one sick fuck.
I didn't do it.
I swear, I didn't do this.
You're in a lot of trouble,
Torpedo Tits.
I'm gonna get you for this.
Well, maybe not me, but the cops.
Whoever.
No, you better understand,
there's this dude in a lab coat
and it's covered with blood
and he's got this doctor's bag
and in it... in it...
He's got a saw in it.
Stay away from me.
Stay away from me.
Hurry up!
Kiki! I'm coming!
I'm coming! I'm coming!
I'm coming!
I'm coming!
- What is it, Kiki?
- It's Darnell!
What's left of him.
Tina must have gotten him, too.
Too? Jane!
Something's happened to Jane!
Tell me! Where is she?
Where's Jane?
What's happened to her?
Where's Jane?
Where's Jane?
It wasn't a mass delusion.
- She's a psychopath.
- No!
No, no, no!
What's a psychopath?
- 'He's mad.'
- 'Yes, I am mad,
'mad with hatred and revenge.'
'Do you hear them, Susan? The bells?
'They're ringing out for your wedding.
'They send you a message, Susan.
'Do you know what they say?
'You don't? Then I'll tell you.
"'He'll break your heart.
He'll break your heart."
"'He'll break your heart.
He'll break your heart.'"
'Oh, my God.'
"'The name of the wolf
is Lucio Delgado."
'He stands condemned
by the hand of his last victim.'
- 'Arrest that man.'
- 'Yes, I am the wolf.
'It is I who have terrorized all Paris.
'Don't move.
I've got you all covered.
'N0 living man can stand against me.
'It has taken a corpse
to disclose my identity.'
'That's where you're wrong.'
'Oh, my God. Oh, my God.'
Godiva?
Rapunzel?
Where are you?
Godiva?
Rapunzel?
You in there?
Damn it, where are you two?
Are you in there, guys?
And we say a prayer
for Jane and Darnell
and Dennis
who's still missing.
We hope he's alright.
And I'd just like to add, God,
that if we make it through this,
I'll give you anything you want.
Money,
sex,
a charge card at Bloomy's.
Amen.
Everything's gonna be alright, Tina.
Everything's gonna be alright.
I think somebody's here.
Shh.
He ain't gonna hurt Tina.
It's OK.
Who's there?
Alright, Mr. Killer.
You had me there,
but I'm not done with you yet.
We could go to the right...
or the left.
Jeez, I don't know.
Well, we've been to the right,
but we haven't been to the left.
Which means...
either the killer's where we were
or he's where we're going.
Let's go to the right.
No.
To the left.
No! No!
Relax
and go with the flow.
Now, don't go anywhere.
'Why have you barred the door?'
'To keep the others out
and you in, my beauty.'
'But we can't stay here, this place.
- 'Can't we go on?'
- 'Go where?'
'Why, London.'
'You'll never see London, Maria.
'Do you think
I'm going to sacrifice myself
'for a common village Wench like you?'
'Corder!'
'Didn't I make you a promise, Maria?
'I promised to make you a bride.
'Don't be afraid, Maria.
'You shall be a bride,
'a bride of death.'
'Oh!
- 'You're not going to kill me?'
- 'You've forced me.'
'N0, no, have pity on me.
I won't tell. I won't tell.'
- 'I'll see to that.'
- 'I swear I won't tell.'
- 'Yes, and break your oath in the hour.'
- 'No, no, no!'
'Now, see the welcome
Sweeney Todd gives to gentlemen
'who return from foreign parts.'
No!
No!
And now...
for what we've all been waiting for.
No!
You're...
You're the one...
who ki...
killed...
those... doctors.
And I don't even have
malpractice insurance.
Whoops!
Mr. Killer,
I'm looking for ya.
Come on out, you bastard.
This little piggy went to market.
This little piggy stayed home.
This little piggy had roast beef.
And this little piggy had none.
No!
And this little piggy...
went all the way,
all the way...
OK, sucker,
let's do it!
I'm ready for battle.
Show me what you got.
This is what I got
and this is what you're gonna get.
You missed, killer.
Who's going to kill now, killer?
Who's going to kill now?
No! No...
Oh.
I never thought
I'd be helping a dumb blonde.
Oh, I used to think
you guys were assholes,
but now you saved my life,
I don't know how to thank you.
Come on, let's get out of here.
Make it stop! I'm going in!
What's happening?
How do I stop it?
Make it stop now!
- What is happening?
- Get me out of here!
It looks like the dyke
has a good lawsuit.
I'd be glad to handle it
for a reasonable fee.
Come to me.
Judy!
No!
Judy!
Judy!
Come here!
Judy!
Come here! Now!
Judy, come here!
I killed them all for you.
Aren't you faithful?
Judy, I killed for you!
Why aren't you faithful?
And all I want's you!
Judy!
Just come here!
- Judy.
- I'm not Judy, I'm Kiki.
Judy, you came back for me.
I always knew you would.
But I'm not Judy, I'm Kiki.
Judy?
OK, OK, I'm Judy.
Judy.
Oh.
So pretty.
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
Beautiful.
Oh!
Judy!
Who's this?
My mother!
You did all this for me, didn't you?
You really loved my mother, didn't you?
We had it all.
We were going to live together.
Be happy together.
Yeah, and you were going to send me
to boarding school
while you and mom high-tailed it
to Palm Beach, you slime!
I love you.
I've got to tell you,
I have a real problem with that.
'The mystery is solved,
'the horror carried away
by the River Seine
'into the bottomless ocean.
'Paris is safe.'
'Yes, Paris is safe.
'And so are we, my darling.'
There is a house
In New Orleans
They call the Rising Sun
And it is the ruin of many a poor boy
And God, I know I'm one
My father was a gambler
Down in New Orleans
My mother was a tailor
She sewed my old blue jeans
The only thing a gambler needs
ls a suitcase and a gun
The only time
his feeling's satisfied
ls when he's all a-drunk
Go tell my baby sister...