Whitesnake is another lame band.
But the singer can sing awesomely high.
-Yeah, awesome.
What's the singer's name again?
-Coverdale.
Really? Coverdale?
lt sure smells here.
Wonderful!
lt's just hours and hours of...
The whole time.
-Coverdale with Whitesnake!
Howard Coverdale!
Hey, assholes!
-Got any oil with you?
l'll go look in the bunker.
-Are we going into town?
We have to show our faces again.
ln the city.
Or the squares will think they won.
Did you know about this?
What?
-About Coverdale.
He's singing with Whitesnake now.
So what?
l didn't think he had it in him.
Coverdale, Howard Coverdale! Whitesnake!
What's that smell?
That was our piss tree yesterday.
A couple of cans of good cheer!
So awesome, isn't it?
Did the tree get so big overnight?
Man, is it dull again today.
As a punk, you can't be political.
Being punk means refusal,
and if you want to be political,
you have to refuse the refusal.
Hey!
lt's about time!
Hey!
You do anything yesterday?
-No.
And you guys?
Neither did we.
Cut it out, Vadder!
Hey, the cops.
-Get out of here, already!
Hey!
-The cops!
You're ruining my business!
l'll hold you all accountable!
Come back here. Stay here! Stop!
Relax, l don't want any.
Hey, how are you?
What are you looking at?
You know me.
You're a disgrace for Germany.
Notter, now come on.
We were in third grade together.
Until you failed.
And?
You in the fourth grade now?
They used to send your kind
to the gas chambers
and tossed your ashes in the shitter.
ls that punk?
We're active in the peace movement,
and our son gets in fights.
What's wrong? You can talk to me.
What your mother's trying to say...
-We always talked.
You once said,
''Mom, l can tell you anything.''
Mom!
-lt's true. That's what you said.
We were always honest with each other.
Your mother wants to say is...
-Are you taking drugs? Please be honest.
Life is one big drug,
and l'm taking it, okay?
l have to correct some papers.
Me too.
What's your problem?
-l don't have one!
Based on the novel by Rocko Schamoni
Good morning, Malte.
Morning.
You're late again.
lt's the third time this month.
-What can l do?
Today's the third of the month.
You can do a set of press mould cups,
like l showed you.
Doorbell plates and a ceramic duck
also need doing.
Here's the food for Rasmus.
l have to sell my VW bus.
l've got to do it all.
And l have an apprentice.
See you tonight.
Talk Talk is the name of this band
from England.
They're already at number three
in the charts with ''lt's my Life''.
Northern Germany, this is NDR2,
with Volker Thormahlen.
You've been moody
since that apprenticeship began.
You're on summer break
and l get up each morning at 7.
Still, l don't like it.
Give me that!
This thing is awesome!
Here.
How about that fox Celine?
-We're going to her place later.
She's out of our league.
Probably screws her tennis teacher.
Well, you've got to have what it takes.
You have to be a pilot
or an artist or a musician or something.
Yeah...
l've got it.
We'll start a band.
A punk band!
A punk band?
l don't know...
You can play guitar.
l can play a little too,
and Sid, you can sing.
How cool, man.
What about us?
-One of you can play drums.
And the other one can be the roadie.
Awesome, a roadie.
Fine, then l'll play drums.
But l write my own lyrics, okay?
What a bitchin' idea!
lt's pretty good.
But you guys know what?
We need a name.
'Deadhead Schmalenstedt'.
Stupid.
Something with 'dead' is cool.
-'l Hate my Dad'.
Or 'Dad is Dead'.
Or 'Bloodfield'.
-That's cool too.
You guys notice anything?
Notice anything?
We were pieces of shit,
and now we're a band.
How about 'Meike Jackson'?
-Or 'Schweinpumpe'.
'Schweinpumpe'? That's crap!
Dude, that is so crap!
Crap... 'Crap from Schmalenstedt'!
'Sex Organ'.
-'The Period'.
'Dead Calves'.
Hey, dude,
we have a new band name!
Vadder, you pig!
There it is!
They better have some booze.
'lBM Breakdown'?
-'Government of Blood'.
Something with blood is cool.
-'Government of Blood'!
We don't even have a bass.
Maybe you're on bass.
Just because l said so first.
'Blood, Peace, Shit'.
'Bloodpeaceshit'!
Yeah, that's good.
Hey, guys. What's up?
The dog has to go.
Get lost, Vadder!
Everything cool?
We've decided to start a band.
Hey, great.
And what are you called?
'Strange Dogs'.
-'Strange Dogs'...
Not bad.
lt's good.
Hey, you guys are here too.
-Hey.
What's up?
-Hey.
We'll see you later.
Feel like making out?
Roddy!
You're drunk. Take some of this.
Ephedrine.
Can you roll one up for me?
Sure...
My name's Roddy.
-And your last name?
Dangerblood.
l see.
l'm still a virgin, Teddy.
Roddy.
l'll get undressed.
Shit!
Do you have a rubber?
l'll be careful.
Can't you get me in the mood first?
Huh?
Here, l'll get it hard.
Have you done this often?
Hundreds of times.
l have to go now.
My mom's picking me up.
But it was great.
Here you go, Vadder.
The dog has to go to the beach.
-l'm taking off.
What are you doing here?
-Having a circle jerk.
And? Did you look at each other?
You're a disgrace to Germany.
-lt would be so cool if you were right.
Come and get some.
-Hey, hold on.
This time you're for it.
Time to get your ass kicked.
Let's really fuck him up this time.
So much for that!
Give that to me.
Piss off!
Go on!
Okay, okay.
See you next time.
Next time!
l have to keep driving.
My grandma's flying out of Hamburg.
Oh, your grandma lives here?
No, in Bargenfeld.
We're just passing through.
She's flying to Majorca.
l'm sure it's great there.
What's your name?
Maria.
Morning.
Good morning.
-Should l make you something to eat?
We're rehearsing here later on.
Won't you have...
Stop, stop! Stop!
Shit!
That was awesomely loud!
-The drums have to...
l'm no good at it!
The bass,
the bass has to be dry, like...
And the guitar...
totally straight ahead.
Much more precise.
That one drum section
really kicked ass...
And the guitar...
No idea what you mean.
l do what l can.
Yeah, awesome!
-Sounded like Prefab Sprout.
Prefab Sprout is crap.
A few songs are pretty awesome.
Hey, watch out!
lt belongs to my cousin.
lt's fuckin' punk-rock,
it has to have more bang!
l have a bong! How about a toke?
Not in here, man.
-Not in here, man!
Guys... open your eyes.
This is the '80s.
Read more magazines. Check out
the sound of New York, London...
... ska and no wave.
Ever heard of it?
Let's do it again.
You know...
Don't just whack away.
lt has to sound cold and hard...
... like the Cure or Ultravox.
Let's go.
Your world is much too small
l'll smash your face once and for all
You're so fucking boring
So please...
Get out of my face...
l think it's awesome. A gig!
All we have is one song.
We don't need more than that.
lt's a talent contest.
Everyone only plays one song.
lt's so awesome, man!
l'm all for it.
First we play a gig...
... then we'll make a record.
-Awesome.
lnterviews, TV appearances, posters...
-How awesome!
And then autographed piss pots.
Oh man. lt's a fucking
talent show in Schmalenstedt.
Know what's really cool?
That we finally have a band name.
Fuck of Tomorrow.
How awesome is that!
Know what's even more awesome?
We're a band. Our first time
at Schraider's as a band.
That's so awesome
it makes me feel all funny.
Me too.
-Like an awesome stud.
Awesome, man!
Just to be clear:
l do the talking on stage.
Sure.
l'll just spew it out.
-Awesome.
One show, just spewed out?
Yeah, exactly.
Our first gig!
l can't believe it!
Awesome, man!
On drums is Flo the Machine,
long-time drummer of Cultural Kill,
who's even played in Holland.
Singer Sid Beamish
won big with his texts at last year's
No Lyrics Festival in Detmold.
All in all it's clear
that Fuck of Tomorrow...
... is the...
... the hottest...
... punk-rock...
... that ever...
Hi.
l'm throwing a birthday party
on Saturday. lf you want...
We have a show next Saturday.
You play music?
What instrument do you play?
Guitar.
Oh well...
You can stop by afterwards.
You can bring your friends along.
-Okay.
l'll write it down for you.
You have any particular wish?
Yes...
What a crowd! That was Big Bubble...
... with the song ''Big Bubble''.
Yes.
A great band! That rocked!
You better be careful with my equipment.
Friends, next up is a band from
your very own town of Schmalenstedt...
A big round of applause...
... and a warm welcome...
... for the band Warhead!
Yes!
Here they are.
Come out on stage.
This is your spot.
The singer, l assume.
What's your name?
l'm Roddy Dangerblood.
Roddy Dangerblood?
Should l call you Roddy?
Or Mr. Dangerblood?
Don't know. Either way.
Warhead.
How did you come up with that name?
Well, it's a long story.
Then tell it to us.
We want to get to know you. Right?
Well, okay. So, first...
First we were Fuck of Tomorrow,
then Deadhead Schmalenstedt,
then Murderkill, then...
... Bloodfield...
... then The Period.
Well...
-Oh, and...
And before The Period,
we were Hunger for Thirst,
then, l mean after that...
-Well, how long have you been around?
Two weeks.
Before that, you were at
a music conservatory, l assume?
No, we hang out in the forest a lot.
Ladies and gentlemen! Hard, harder...
... Warhead! Bravo.
Say something.
Sid, say something.
Good evening!
-Good evening!
Violence is our currency,
and we want to pay!
One, two, three, four...
-Your world is much too small
l smash your face once and for all
Assholes!
Assholes!
Did l promise too much, or what?
Fantastic!
That was band number eight
in the 1984 band contest.
James Last, but not least,
ladies and gentlemen...
Shit!
Yes.
l'm really sorry.
But we were all shit.
But we were so shit
that it was awesome.
l thought it was totally subversive.
Yeah, that's true.
But l thought you sang well.
-Yeah.
Really?
Awesome.
-Yeah.
That break you played, Flo...
ln the middle, where you did that...
Totally awesome.
l thought so too.
-Awesome.
l changed the lyrics, by the way.
Did any of you even notice?
Completely spontaneous.
That made it rhyme at the end.
The way you played guitar at the start!
-l loved the talk with the MC.
No!
-lt was just awesome!
lt was like
a proclamation of the revolution.
Really?
-Yes, it was a holy moment!
ln an atheistic sense, of course.
l don't understand
why we didn't come in last.
Second-to-last somehow sucks.
-They really hated us!
l really hated them too.
-Fucking grunts!
What now?
-Party!
At your new old lady's place?
-She's not old, she's new.
All right.
Hey, you faggots!
You leaving already?
What do you want?
-Come on, you fucking grunt!
What's it going to be?
l love you guys.
You out to get your ass kicked?
Wanna get dead?
-You wanker!
Want some?
Well!
-Dick!
What are you looking at?
-Kiss my arse.
This is lame. Let's go!
-Come on, Piekmeier, we have to go.
Get lost. The lot of you.
You better watch it!
Fuckheads! -Get in.
-Yeah, get lost, faggots!
Fuck you!
-Piss off!
Peace and love, you homo!
-l should drag you out now, you prick!
Dude, that was awesome!
Fucking grunts!
-Awesome!
They were shitting their pants.
-Did you see that?
Did you see that soldier in the front?
-Dude!
l'm telling you, he was scared.
We're so fucking rad.
-That's right.
We really are rad.
They wanted to provoke us.
That was... that was punk!
-That was awesome!
Hi.
-Hi, our show's over.
My friends...
-l'm Fliegevogel.
Happy birthday.
From me too.
- Flo, Sid, Gunni...
Hello everybody!
Don't you all look awesome!
So how was the show?
Totally awesome.
-Yeah?
No...
-Hey, dude!
You sat all day.
-l'll kick your ass!
Man, you've been sitting all day!
The record player is a bit fragile.
lt just needs to go somewhere else.
-No, it's fine,
as long as you don't stomp.
What's he doing?
That's how Fliegevogel is.
He is? Well, they won't trash the place?
-No.
lt goes... right there.
So when's your next show?
-Probably pretty soon.
We'll see what comes, we'll wait...
-Hi.
This is Wolfram, my cousin.
Maria told me you guys had a gig, or...
Where's the dance floor?
-We're just sitting and talking.
What kind of a party is this?
Shut up, Vadder!
l told you to shut up.
Watch out, the dog!
The rest of the bands were crap.
What's up, you squares?
This is Piekmeier the lumberjack.
And l'm a Stalinist, for example.
We just learned about
Stalinism in school.
But it was really awful.
Well, that's why l'm a Stalinist.
Got any more whisky?
-l don't know,
my dad has a bottle.
-We found it already. Got more?
No.
But you have Coke, right?
-Sure.
Want one too?
-Fliege, your keys!
No. That's a cool picture.
Here, dude.
-Thanks.
Hey!
ls there no music here?
What's your name?
-l already told you.
Not Roddy Dangerblood.
-Yes.
Nonsense!
Ask my friends.
-l'll ask your parents.
What's going on?
l didn't hear anything.
Something happened.
-No.
No, wait!
Something's going on.
Up you get!
There you go!
Help me up.
-Hey.
Did Vadder shit in here?
He has intestinal problems.
All of you, out!
We'll straighten it out.
-Bullshit!
Get out of here, you idiots!
Calm down.
-Have a drink.
This is my birthday and my house.
Get out!
Come on, let's go.
Where's Fliegevogel?
Have you totally lost it?
l don't know where the shitter is.
-Not here, for sure.
Get out, you assholes!
No hard feelings, okay?
l'm sorry. They're my friends.
Vadder... Heel!
And then that shit with the dog.
Yeah, dude. He's sick.
Takes a shit in the living room!
lt was still lame.
The house was one big,
late-capitalistic...
Whatever!
You weren't after world revolution.
You were just into it.
The house and the people living there
meant nothing to you.
Why don't we just take off?
l mean, like really leave.
l'm allowed to take a week off.
Once l finish my apprenticeship,
l'll move out for sure,
and go somewhere else.
Away from here, that's for sure.
Know where it must be awesome?
ln Berlin.
Yeah, sure.
Or Amsterdam.
London, dude. London.
When you live there...
... you need a job.
Waiting tables, or a warehouse job.
But fuck it, at least you're free.
Full-on freedom, man.
That must be the most important thing.
So London it is, then?
Yeah.
Or fucking Amsterdam.
Who cares? As long as we leave here.
The two of us!
Yeah.
The two of us, in London...
lt'll be fucking awesome!
You know what?
Fuck ltaly.
We can go anywhere.
Where to?
Where are you heading?
-ltaly.
Hey, ltaly!
l'M lN lTALY.
ls that it?
Don't you owe us more than that?
Chiusa was awesome.
-We met some girls there, not just gays.
Portofino was awesome.
Fliegevogel
thought it was called Pornofino.
Bullshit!
-lt's true.
And where did you sleep?
One night in like a cement pipe,
no windows.
lt was so cold, all we could do
was run in circles and do push-ups.
That night was so not awesome.
Yeah...
Where was that, in Florence?
-No, Pornofino!
Stop it, man.
When do we rehearse?
When's our next gig?
Next Wednesday, right?
Preetz High School.
-Really?
Awesome!
Did you practice while we were gone?
No.
-No, not really.
But we found an awesome new pub.
Awesome.
Dude, in all of ltaly
there's no rye schnapps.
Really, dude?
-But that doesn't mean they're all gay.
lt's all so predictable.
We're a garage band,
we go on tour, meet other bands,
then we make a record.
And then we have a hit.
We'll be the hottest band...
-Enjoy.
... '60s and '70s bands...
Hey.
And drug life...
-No idea, the guy's a lunatic.
... it goes platinum.
We break up, go solo,
one of us writes memoirs.
All just like we feared.
What the fuck are you saying?
Don't you want us to be a band?
All that counts for me and Gunni
is the revolt.
Thirsty, boys? Got money?
Let's see it.
Let's see it!
What?
No bones, eh?
Here, hold this.
Awesome!
Dude!
Hey Gunni.
- Fuck...
Your cigarette's wrong way around.
-We're the vanguard. The vanguard.
So Mr. Music Man,
you having what l'm having?
Or do you want a beer?
With beer foam
from the beer foam company.
Let me show you something.
You know Captain Beefheart?
You should.
Exorbitant, says the man.
He sat next to Zappa in school.
Zappa copied from him.
Let her rip!
Robert Hermel.
The man is world class.
World class!
When he was about your age,
he took a trip to France
with his mother...
On a market square, he suddenly stops.
He listens, looks up
and sees this black guy...
... blowing a beatific saxophone.
At that moment,
he knew he wanted to be a musician.
Roddy, let's go, eh?
No, it's cool here.
Where's Fliegevogel?
-He left an hour ago.
And sweet too is apple strudel...
-But the sweetest thing on earth...
... is the poodle.
There are many dogs
in the world's parks.
Wherever you are
you'll hear their barks.
Great Danes are loudest anywhere,
but who has the curliest hair?
The most beautiful dog...
-... in the pack,
is the poodle and that's a fact...
We're going on an outing!
Careful of the rocks!
Come on guys!
-Here we go!
A little faster!
Here we go, Vadder.
You're with us too.
Come on.
-Get in!
ln!
-Yeah.
Good boy, Vadder.
Woah, look at the fog.
How awesome!
Fuck.
-Why? lt's awesome.
lt's not awesome.
Think about Vadder.
Give me a glass.
Why a glass?
-To catch us some coastal fog.
You're so full of shit.
Gunni, are you scared?
-Yes, he is!
Vadder, you're not scared, are you?
-Leave him alone!
Hey guys, we're in the fog of horror.
How awesome.
- Have another beer, Gunni.
l'd rather row again.
-No way!
lt's my turn!
lt's my boat!
-Don't be so capitalistic! -Stop!
Wow, that was a close one.
-SOS, man.
S-O-S...
lf you really want it...
You idiots!
Vadder!
-Watch out!
Gunni, you're so stupid!
- All for a fucking oar!
l don't believe it!
We have to get the boat...
-The boat!
Where's the fucking boat?
The boat! Fliegevogel!
Come on. He's gone. Fuck!
-Fucking fog!
Fliegevogel!
Where's Fliegevogel?
Where are you all?
Gunni!
Where are you?
Come on, we have to swim.
Which way?
-We have to go back.
ls this the right way?
-Don't talk, swim!
l can't go much longer.
-Yes you can!
Where's the fucking beach?
Just swim.
-l don't want to drown.
Hold on to me. Here...
Come on out.
Come on.
Where's Roddy?
-l lost sight of him.
That was fucking close!
We all made it. All of us!
All of us!
Vadder!
Hey, what's wrong?
Wait, l'll give you a ride.
Let him go.
Yeah?
You all right?
Yeah.
You're almost home.
Just a few more steps.
l'm going to keep driving, okay?
Where have you been?
Sorry, mom.
-You were out all night.
Live with it.
Rasmus?
Feel like a little game?
Come on.
Here we go.
Now get ready.
Freedom!
Go ahead! lt's yours!
You're just the right age.
Go on!
Run, my son,
out into the wide world! Rasmus...
Give me an ''E''.
Shit!
''Punk died at a young age.
We're the caretakers of the grave.''
l wrote that.
You turned it into:
''Here comes light, here comes wind.
Here it goes, let the game begin.''
That has no relevancy whatsoever.
-lt does for me.
What is this, carnival?
Hey, stop fucking around!
What is it you want?
No idea, maybe freedom?
So it's serious, after all?
-To me it's fun.
And now?
We rehearse. Fuck of Tomorrow
plays its next gig tomorrow.
But what kind of band are we?
-No idea, we can do something new.
Carnival?
We're a punk band like all the others.
l'd rather do new stuff.
So you want to quit.
Or we play your bullshit and l quit.
And the band's done. That's fine by me.
-Me too.
So what's the deal?
Where did Fliegevogel go this time?
Dude...
l always need a target.
Are you retarded?
-Come on, assholes.
We're up.
-Come on.
Hey, it's Fuck of Tomorrow!
Hello.
We're Public Enemy No. 7,
and we're no slaves of the pop industry.
-You okay?
We're free.
And we'll stay that way.
We won't make a record.
We're ready to go on stage,
but we'll never serve the fascist
system of high finance. Never!
Exactly!
-Yeah!
Punk is the philosophy of refusal.
With us, there's no deal!
Total standstill is the triumph of punk
over the fascist system.
That's why we won't make records.
Forget it, not with us!
You can't say 'No future'
but make one more record.
lt's okay, it won't get any better.
Come on, Sid!
That's why punk can only be punk
when it's no longer punk.
When punk refuses punk,
that's the real punk.
That's why we won't make a record!
This right here...
is the ultimate punk concert.
You fucking squares.
l thought it was kind of awesome.
Not as awesome as last time,
but still awesome.
Shut up, Vadder.
On a scale of awesomeness,
it was way more than half awesome.
l'd say.
l thought it was our best gig yet.
Of the two.
-Because it was relevant and political.
lntensity and rage...
... that's our job, man.
l want to make music and have fun.
You want your photo in
'Sounds' magazine. -Nope.
l want to change society.
ls that another one
of your lame jokes?
Do you always have to take the piss?
We said the band
is the number one thing.
Then you come in with your
Stalin bullshit and ruin everything!
The band's important to me too.
You have no idea what's important...
Hey! Knock it off now.
Shit!
Give me your lighter.
Do you take a lot of that stuff?
Which stuff do you mean?
Forget it.
l think l want to be a real musician.
Seriously.
But you are.
Bullshit. A real one.
Hey, we are a real band.
Are we?
l'm serious about this.
l don't know what else l could do.
You want to do it together?
Let's do this together!
-Sure, l'm up for it.
Bye.
What's up with the others?
-No idea.
We have a gig next week,
and who's not here?
You know what? l think...
... l'll go too.
l mean... just guitar and drums,
that seems kind of pointless.
Sorry.
The gig in Kiel is a big deal.
All the bands are there, and the labels
send their A and R guys, too.
But...
We just have to rehearse more.
You know...
'Snowgirl'...
... by 'The Pop Group'.
Like it?
Like it.
Yeah, that's cool.
l almost died the other day.
l almost drowned in the Baltic.
But hey, l'm still here!
lt might sound funny, but...
... l hadn't even noticed!
Dude!
Hey, dude.
So what's the deal?
We wanted to... We said
we'd all meet up this afternoon and
talk things over and then rehearse.
Sid quit.
What?
He's had enough.
He wants to be a writer now.
Or a photographer or something.
Anything but a musician.
But still an artist.
Who cares? We can sing.
You can sing. You have a good voice too.
Our tractor broke down yesterday.
My dad was so angry,
he nearly burned down the farm.
Fliegevogel can sing too.
Want to get drunk later on?
l'm up for it.
Morning, Mr. Pfeil.
Good morning.
Hey, you have a nice day.
Hey.
-Hey.
Hi.
-What's up, dude?
Anyone seen Fliegevogel today?
Nope.
And Gunni?
- He's got a girlfriend now. In Marne.
Hey, assholes!
-Hey, Fliege!
What's up?
We went to
this fucking new wave disco yesterday.
We tore it up!
You better come next time...
l know that lame place.
-Who's that?
Patrick.
His dad's a total freak.
He has a motorboat in Neustadt...
Anything you want.
The whole family is wired, dude.
Dope, drinks, sex...
What about our rehearsal?
Yeah, shit...
-Sid quit.
That makes everything easier.
Hey, Horni!
Be right there.
What did he just call you?
-Horni.
They thought of it.
l think it's awesome.
So what's the deal?
l don't know...
How about tomorrow?
No!
-Horni!
Come on!
Tonight, then.
How stoned will you be?
Hey, you're not my mom!
Next time, l'll be there.
Then it'll be totally awesome!
Okay?
Next time.
Then l'll lay down an awesome solo!
l'm glad l ran into you.
l'm at my wit's end.
We were supposed to rehearse today,
for the contest. No one showed up,
now it's all falling apart, and...
Shut the fuck up!
lt's just to relax.
lt's your song.
Except with a different instrument.
Do you want to try
playing your song as well?
Yes.
We can nose a duet.
Okay, let's nose something.
That's totally retarded.
Great.
Hey, you two with the sombreros,
you're up.
Hurry up, or the few people
still there will leave too.
How are you doing?
-Fantastic.
How about you?
l'm doing very well.
Come on.
-Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome...
... The Recorders of Death!
BABELFlSCH TRANSLATlONS
Peter Rigney
HOLLAND SUBTlTLlNG
Published 12/10/2013