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Double Bunk (1961)
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You're bill Clement I'm sure I don't have to remind you is two weeks overdue nine o'clock and time for Saturday beauty Club good morning ladies this is your own Michelle this morning there are two points to raise the bust and just a simple little exercise to improve our bust line ready on the backs ladies we all got our bags it's me hurry don't you see this could be the answer to our problem but I don't understand I mean we've never besides I haven't got a telly what look not that dear back there Martin inking this complete home for 1,100 pounds after area do you realize that we've been engaged for three months I've never seen you in anything secluded is accessible it's not as if I'd known you in the summer at least I've seen you in a bathing costume oh do shut up a minute let me finish this two bedrooms dining lounge kitchen and bathroom where's the right size charming garden apply Harper house boat Jasmine it's not a house you idiot it's a bonus a houseboat and at least it's somewhere to live you simply couldn't get married until we'd found somewhere to live I'm beginning to feel like a Trappist monk it was only I I read somewhere that it's very bad for the health but does something terrible at the brain I should have known you a sex maniac when you came to that door six months ago in our special enemies having a Tim full of them Tommy you know go find Jimmy I only wanna kiss you after all we are engaged why are you afraid of me not afraid of you is it it's by another come in what more effectiveness myth thank you will rush into anything will you I mean just because we haven't found exactly what we're looking for relevance a for the last three months now we've only got a week to find something we would have had two weeks if you hadn't told her a filthy minded old so she is just cuz we happened to be in bed a plow Harper that's me Elsa daughter's name just been doing the weekly shopping my name is guarded them this is my fiancee miss dealing I'll do miss stealing how do you do looking for somewhere to sit pay me well know I'm not sure what I can let you have Jasmine we met October effect response to the airport you have a large isn't good not better Tom that belongs to Watson. Leonard Watson he owns the mornings Papageno really owner no this is Jasmine kid all the steel magnate was a previous in our unit Shelby makes a nice room yes it does it's amazing who'd have thought there was so much space and that's one of the things I like about a bit plenty of cupboard space it's another thing about boots plenty of social life will come down blue oh you'll have to get out of the scene my girl mr. Goddard and his fiancee misty late I didn't they are interested in buying the built. Jamaican of course I mean it she hates the thought of leaving at you now. Nana take a grip on yourself little girl this is Meg electricity's shilling in the slot and what some charges - could beat for the morning not bear this well you've been most kind mr. Harper I think we've taken up quite enough of your time and you still never better lunch mrs. Holly and see what nothing just like this girl 1,100 pounds like us is that the furnisher house wouldn't get involved alright I'll frame 750 you throw us off the boat you nobody said it cost over 15,000 recipe just the same if we lived in Buckingham Palace and don't carry on about your nerves the groundwork and all you've got to do is to provide bacon and eggs before Tonto I'll give you bacon and acid that's what mrs. Alford was delighted to us take well we've thought it over mr. Harper and we'd like to have the bird good heavens you're a chap to make a quick decision or job only it's a matter of price all right make me an offer I can always refuse it Conte 750 alright then that thing about hundred pounds I haven't got time to argue don't be a silly boy I'm doing you a favor these things are cold that second end you can tell she's our live video killer the match the federal government is you kidding oh yes I forgot you're in the racket too a hymnbook don't tell me you're still using that story that it belonged to two old ladies who only used it together. Church oh I've got a new twist on man it used to belong to two old Jewish ladies who only you two go to the synagogue go dim it look kiddush good chemic it's sold three cars last week and one of them was a spy I have more sensitive do a deal with you here give me a hammer the ribbon yup oh shake run out tonight new tenants are moving in mr. Watson say you're getting old the bridegroom hasn't damaged himself oh sorry to introduce myself good evening I thought I better make myself known if my neighbor spots a limit boss Lennon Watson of course you own the mornings I'm Jack got heart and this is my wife we just got married this afternoon congratulations thank you I heard you bought Harper's Elbert one day but you were thinking of moving her moving yeah how should we want to know her oh and Harper didn't tell you about the agreement yeah he's a dead flower character what agreement well you see I only bought the morning six months ago and the man who had them before went bust well I'm not surprised he was charging peanuts peanuts and they're crafty Fox Harper well they've managed to get a two-year degree but I didn't two years ah it expires in three weeks all right how much if we want to stay here how much for that's double everything the world of rising costs letting a world of rising costs yeah I find it hard to make both ends meet myself sometimes I bleed for you are there any other charges we should know about now let me see oh is this the heart of the house worse ten public ten shillings a week what couldn't we possibly supply our own hose I'm sure we couldn't well no we only call it the heart of the hose but well it's for the water you have to pay for the water you see how dare I mean after all you can't expect to have anything that nothing can you is that the lot yeah I think so perhaps Liam merely forgot the car park now we charge the visitors half a crowd at night but well we like to help out our tenants so it's out of fifteen but a week that's over five pounds a week I know it's amazing out man 70 this is blackmail shouldn't I get words like this to have a tag of course and that's in the way you'll be able to move this old tub little an-naba senior I'll seem dead dropping again sometime you've got three weeks to get that wreck out of here don't forget three weeks oh well things are looking up we only had one week to get out of Hammersmith. Oh mom behind your back all about their music in the romantic move and now a selection from the Handel's water music well back to the monastry I'll make something what on earth were you doing just thinking no that's such a dry Ross bad luck you know she's over tell you what I'll do give you and then you'll be all set all right love to said my wife had never stand for it my wife would never stand for it have you gone Stan bonkers have you lost your marbles look boy far be it for me to interfere between Manawatu Jourdain for trouble toss me that ring spelling I'm serious about it you've got to be rough with him do you think I'm gonna give my wife a poke in the eye just to please didn't say that bird who goes for the self-defense spring a surprise Allah that's what I do thank you for a cruise this weekend I tell you what I'll do I'll give up my weekend in Brighton and I'll come and be your crew and your navigator I can just eat it too you love it back there in the old deck chair like a couple of millionaires and how much is it gonna cost you just a couple of bumper fuel for the engine that's all to give your wife the finest anyone at any woman's ever had cruising in our own yacht you know you're not such an idiot after all that beers two little pigs I could run the engine you could do the navigation right but I'll come back of the boat with me now and take a look at it we can make a start on the engine right away huh hey women what about the missus do think it'd be all right certainly am I a matter of mouse well that's about 11 thank you thank you so much for delivering at such short notice to you see I want to give my husband a surprise don't you think you very like this succeed thank you very much you don't think I've overdone it do you no ma'am or I should say you judge did you in our city you won't miss it and we won't feel the impact of sudden wealth. I think it's some strange I thought you'd make the place look a bit more homely darling it is the bus home lived in low world thank you do you think you could get into the habit of calling it a houseboat I mean it sounds so bleak to say we live in a boat doesn't it after all it isn't as though we're ever going to use this as a boat no well I just asked city feed the info I knew you wouldn't oh yes I had to go down to the shops well you know then I can chase it around the house the boat by marvelous. I couldn't done it better myself lovely certainly women are like dogs you gotta tell them what the dinner make them belly have another master ear boy cuz I get confused I don't have to tell me that just to be me fans in for sure can't see what's happened to Charlie. Mike's Pickers have trouble getting away from his old woman never could see a sign of a stag party took to Paris it's in alright to tell my missus I was going on a five-day bicycle race are you still don't have to dress for the party bitch came to see me off don't breathe a word about this cruise until the day a good idea so keep the element of surprise you better get changed I'll bring it down a glass of brandy oh I better be going it I've got a blonde coming around what's the trade any worse for an ice cream bag your whip things I'm about to drop a horse exhaust must have been quite a little bad coming unexpectedly like that it would tend to say it off your balance now look here there's no need to be bloody stupid about this huh well how the hell was I to know you were on the pedaling gangplank as far as I was concerned you were safely out of the way I mean safe they're doing that been doing the shopping but anybody would think it was like trying to start up finishing into the way you're carrying on we are draw your attention to the fact that I am NOT carrying on well stop sulking them three days anyway I can't see why you wanted to stop the beastly engine in the first place all right then well I'll tell you actually it was to have been a surprise you think it wasn't believe me you managed that bit all right I thought things haven't worked out at our honeymoon as well as they might have that is a masterpiece of understatement Cheers you better get another bottle just in case couldn't we start again I'd like to make it up to you give you a sort of a second honeymoon do you think we could stand the strain please don't be bitter darling after all how was I to know the boat leaped you were wonderful but a single word of complaint passed your lips mmm god you're impossible oh my wish I could stay angry with you longer and I can't you know I was thinking as I was working at the garage I was thinking one day I'll give that girl the best honeymoon a girl has ever had when you're really darling when you're really thinking of me but I ask myself what more could any girl want and a honeymoon cruising in our own yacht silly I don't suppose we'll ever be able to afford to buy cunning conniving so that's what your leading up to that's why you started that drinking engine Oh what are you getting some mad about I was only thinking of you I want to split your skull with this bottle I'm sorry darling perhaps I shouldn't have tried to keep it from you I thought you'd be thrilled no packing or unpacking just untie the ropes on our way taking everything with us you could have sat back in your chair all day long like a millionaire million heiress don't ripen a millionaire s better Gunther said it's all our fault I'll make up some story alright where are we going little way down the river we can turn back whenever you say after our little relieve the monotony for you monotony that's a good word it's about the only thing we haven't had you my darling are gonna have a honeymoon you'll never forget hey what are you doing with pets a figure - or remember just untie and take everything with us that's part of everything sorry I'm late this is Sandra do you think it's just lousy weather all they're asking for our ice cream vans I read some of the other day every seven years and this mate is the seventh year I'm so happy for you I've been looking forward to this cruise ever sir have you yes that's mine not Sandra's you wouldn't think by looking at her that she's one of the best strippers in the business she's got a routine with three pigeons I do have that bird enough clothes of me I found I hadn't got a pin to wear I'm sure you'll manage shall I lead the way yes you look like a millionaire yeah well he's eccentric now don't forget don't mention money to him he likes people to think he's skint yes oh yeah well I told you it is eccentric come on yes the ng-controller to take notes why not these up they're quite simple really to go ahead press that button for neutral that's all right at the club six of us goes changing it plays much smaller than this girl's she's on fire she's not you know I do believe yes the hell he is he's going to take her out getting a bunt and the way is the simplest matter in the world if of course you're bad my experience so ladies if you would mind step into the rear or I'll stir into the wheelhouse how is me that is even harder chauffeur the chauffeur God a hitch what about it just cast off on our way taking everything this nothing could have been simplified it was so simple it was almost don't know where it'll get more interesting later on oh goody if anyone wants me I'll be up in the girl I think I'd like to get changed a little more. I was thinking I might give up the car games not a butcher in the small way of car coming with you like this unfortunate it's more munch my folks and Caramba dry almond tree oh boy go on it take them off take them off just for a minute nick is a fine that's a receipt certainly I mean the radio silly you mustn't put the radio miss to the campus it upsets it keep looking at me like that make you feel as if I'm naked friend jebaited up for you're going why don't you watch it it's going off nothing disgraceful out there they let these characters on the river without a driving test he's drowning I'll do the talking there's no sense in antagonizing a word. I am oh where you from Christmas Island that's not bad seven complaints in two miles that's almost a record complaints yes excessive wash I love don't think we've ever known our radios so busy live out of it we was already moving apparently you are moving to the tune of seven cups of sources on an Azusa a cut glass bowl on Lily maid the owner of Jane got his sausage of mash in his left the Reverend V Thomas says you wet his trousers I mr. Earl in a high of skip fell on his earth fiance and broke her past it thanks it's funny how we sometimes can't read your own yes another of them just coming over the blower Oh Grenville Carter from the sailing sub says they ran him down he could have got out of the way I was going starboard starboard what more does he want I'm sure we can straighten all this out officer he's I'm sure we can would you yes please you told me they'd give it a teetotaler never stand by in the launch yes you see my husband like a bit of the green belt take a look at the one in white what do you know about this place all right they all go there must be sort of miniature Blackpool whoo it'll be all right tonight love it so that's it miniature Blackpool dump what do we do now we can't stay there for two days still Rama's get cream Ramsgate that's a thought you never get away with it because they we missed her late could you get us the rent laughs all right let's go brief if you may have to get us there blind phone probably no worry about my run out of it in two or three minutes well anyway we know where they are yeah we keep heading due east we must be all right what's happened where are we oh no need to worry just run into a little sea salt dissolve that's what happened now where are we well there's one place we're not and that's where we ought to be at home all right you said we turn back any time I said I'm saying it now we turn back the world is our oyster who knows where we may wind up maybe Australia that'd be nice I've got a custom it lives in Australia why I ever allowed myself to be talked into this I I shall sit down here quirky and compose myself for death run out of it in five minutes and what if we don't it might take five hours or five weeks yeah well in that game did you eat it quick get anything you can make a noise while I was right calculations checked and double-checked. Jules getting low enough for another quarter ah there she goes yes I am. Victor Ramsgate you will do no such thing now this calls for a celebration you two girls were gonna get changed we will take you ashore for the finest meal at. Ramsgate can provide a couple of bottles of wine the meal I insist besides have you forgotten got a millionaire's sorry it slipped my mind for a minute must be wonderful to be rich nice work you know where we are take a look over that warehouse it doesn't look right you could find your way to excuse me radio oh that's fine that's great we're really in a new center wonderful don't miss it well Sid and I were just thinking it seems silly to flock all the way down to the town about a nice little meal here onboard if you think we've got all dressed up like this to cook yeah ha we'd already thought of that I am going to do the yeah that's it what about a nice little um both bogging on this dark steering bar me to video well there isn't any bus there's very little of anything else I was in the shopping hole here and come on Oh a disc Oh miss Connie I'm starving so am I I think it's silly traipsing all over the town madness alright we'll go by ourselves come on Sandra did I miss your bus fare hold that you Marcy will play I think about you angry yes yes then I shall require you ships papers your passport and your import permit import permit it is forbidden twin for thumbs and team to France without a permit certainly madam you aren't eligible little error in the old calculations no where's the captain of this ship please well I suppose I am in a manner of speaking in a manner of speaking well you see it isn't really a ship at all oh I see it is not trader sheep at all it's a house perhaps you will be so kind as to tell me how you come to have your house in the middle of a harbor well you may find it a little difficult to believe this but well here goes it all started as a trip down the river. Jazmin day believe it I spin Milhouse maybe I raised the rents of what she decided to have a great son well he's gotta hand it to him he got here he's got to get back yet and the next thing we knew we were here I see well Monsieur you warned me I might find it difficult to Billie however I said give you 12 hours with about but we can't depart with no fuel that is not my business Monsieur if you are still here a premise found the boat the matter the house will be impounded until official operation I've been copied but just a minute I will not take well. Monsieur if your story is true maybe no more than a few days off laughs and for your sake I hope it is goodbye you know meantime of course you will not be allowed ashore Mira listen now let's try and sort this out shall we we are in France we can't leave because we have no fuel if we stay the boat will be impounded we have no food and we can't go ashore to get any when you said I have a honeymoon I'd never forget you really meant it this makes the first honeymoon look like a honeymoon run in the ass maybe longer what that's all I needed to complete my day do you know the mornings chat him you'll give it a fuel and we're home and dry no cross love in your life love his head off if you knew what had happened you see my husband has his pride yeah that's all very well but you've got us into this mess mate I did may I remind you that if I hadn't let you talk me into going on to Ramsgate we would still be in hole Haven if you hadn't what I told you you never get away with it just do I understand you deliberately past hole Haven in a way I suppose did you or didn't you well yes I thought I don't care what you thought all I care about is I am in. France I am tired I am hungry and I am fed up furthermore I am going to bed and if you dare come anywhere near me so help me oh I'll make myself a widow it's stupid going on like this I'm coming in do you hear me I'm coming in damn silly about it I'm gonna get drunk nice drop a stop stop I'll come straight to the point my name is Sid Randall and this is mrs. San Tomas charming name for a charming lady if I say sir thank you there we're off the Galvin gay by now as a matter of fact we are right in the weaving a bit of a spot so the. Harbormaster is saying yeah well not to beat about the bush and seeing her blood is thicker than water we thought you might help us out with a drop of fuel I wish I could talk to God kid I must get that tomorrow could do is to give you a lift we're leaving first thing in the morning and I expect I could squeeze you in are you really a piercer grateful the age of chivalry is not possible yeah no matter if miss Marchetti I can't thank you enough mr. Watson this morning try to talk me into going with him to turn you suggest then a man of my standard he's making these out I need just gonna fetch him a right-hander and thought of his double he always jumped me fool of him yeah I'm gonna charge on it still I got in a few good temps. Cheers would you say that again some are you going deaf I said he's got 400 gallons there's plenty more where this comes from. Oh Cydia but I'll do things to see it - you'll be back later well as I was saying had always been a striptease artist I don't cabaret as well sure why not give a little show for my guests work your passage shows people don't usually do private parties masucci being so helpful do you like it love it after it my pups with me did you prefer me a few bits and pieces I know just a few the curtains to have below let me see if we manage to pinch 30 gallons to quit strip coverage all right suppose we get the juice how do we get home without a cover so simple we know what's is eating first thing in the morning we follow him back nothing short wouldn't be safer even if we had to come to stop waiter okay you let me put the right now look don't let's stop that again are you ready yeah right this reminds me of when I was in the commandos I thought you were in the Navy naval commandos. Oh. Patti coming up if I can just get into the cabin I'll be alright. I'll toss it who takes first watch anime trouble yourself comfy you'll be asleep well caviar and champagne should do the trick she shows any sign of leaving whatever you're doing stop it and give me a shout take me you got too much to drink terrible wake up not to wake the way you're carrying or not put this up together. Watson's leaving I'll get the engine stopping shall I open eruption Oh slow down there's some ketchup for this aye aye sir we're gaining on this outcome could wipe the floor without any time anything sir that slushee if the rubbish is all right on the river Oh Jasmine gay Oh Jasmine gay have you got any messages for friends or relatives back home you never know where you're going to end up Julie oh don't worry about that we might be back before you are you must be acid in the hunt you wanna bet I certainly do come on take him up or come in with your father darling don't be stupid robot a bouncy day Jack I can only lose 50 Bob for over a sport that's have a real bit a year's rich double or quits a telly don't be a fool it's 200 pounds nice also just big talk yum right I'm gonna get away with that naturally now let's show him what she can do. I thought you said Sheila no good at sea must be a following women said the best you can do I lost skipper to make this thing move twice as fast now I'm going back for a couple of hours keeping when I get up again I don't want to see that thing anywhere in sight sit call your service huh didn't I Drive on for four years from Dublin Saturn's are yeah the engine rooms flooded give me a hand will you keep on these tracks the unexpected piece of rubber or something to wrap around the lake must be worth more than that I was to me what is this thing. I got bad ahead in the Boy Scouts places say conceptions of gone wrong again they stuck must be some sort of trick he's going the wrong way don't focus what do we do now he's gonna say wasted we oughta be in a street in about 40 minutes the attest Americans drive the bus one mile to go imagining rent free for a whole year and if Watson books are end up will be saving even more money maybe I'm not such a lunatic out for all oh you do yourself an injustice I'm sure you must be just hope dad I still think we ought to wait till September I don't think I can get the time off in September it's our busy time at the sewage farm no. Ethan I don't know can't you get a bit more out of her what about the wash sir to hell with the wash. I think we ought to make it July sorry yeah better make it you love me been quite a trip it has a lead not unprofitable either I know well Watson is now someone else. Spain I expect Olay once their round the next bend at home. Repton the last mile we hadn't been so busy congratulating ourselves we've seen him coming there's nothing to stop them now they seem to be in position now stand by move it let this lunatic through soon it's been nearly there by now Oh bang guys 200 quid I'm frightfully sorry. Oh. Like he could let that more damage if you'd be the net craft carrier I'll take her inside a bit of nine you come a bit I want to show these yelping types where they get off and that includes three boring for a year I'll leave you to think it over you'll stay to lunch of course oh what's very nice of you but I see we got out of it much disappointed if you didn't Rose what do you think very nice for weekend look sure know what's offensive myself in one of these things all right she's a skin 1300 awfully 950 cash take it or leave it he can have any likes dump |
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