Ned, how many times have you
staged your own sighting?
Can you believe it, it's me!
Hey, watch where you're going,
you dumb bastard.
I'll cut ya.
Wait a tic, you didn't have your
own brand of sandals, did ya?
Yeah, shockless monster footwear.
Look, I'm gonna go over my lines.
I owned a pair of those. They
were terrible.
I like jellies, remember them?
Them some satisfying sandals, I
tell you what.
It's real tough-
So, uh...
- Nice work, nice work.
I like it. -Thanks.
"Life After Myth. " It's um...
It's kinda like "Curb Your
Enthusiasm. "
But substitute Larry David for the
Loch Ness Monster, and then his...
Jeff Garland would be Sasquatch,
you know? Right?
Jeff Garland was Sasquatch in
that?
No, no no. It's not Jeff Gar-
I'm just saying... um...
Uh, it's a "Jeff Garland"
type...
- Oh, oh, oh.
- No, I don't have him.
- That's not Jeff Garland.
- No.
What's, uh, the demo?
I think it's more like, uh, 18
to... 18 to 35, maybe?
You asking me or telling me?
I would say 18 to 35.
To get the jokes, they need
know, uh...
mythological, uh, you know,
stories.
They need to know stuff about,
like, Chupacabra, who...
Who, who... Is one of the bad guys in it.
He's the antagonist. He's on a telenovela.
What? He's on a telenovela right
now?
In the hypoth-, in the fictional
world, of the show...
Oh, in your show, he's on a
Spanish-
- In a telonovela.
- Right.
- Show within a show.
- Because he's Spanish.
He is Spanish. It's a, uh, a
Mexican...
Well, technically Puerto Rican
is what I heard.
Let me ask you this,
what's the show about?
I mean, I think...
I kinda already said it. It's
sorta obvious...
It's about myths, you
know, and them feeling...
...like has-beens and
burnouts and them trying to...
...exist in a world where...
Um...
Their star had faded or
something?
"Life After Myth. "
OK.
What else ya got?
What else, what else do I got?
Another show?
Another concept? Another pitch?
What?
Is this it?
No, this is the only show I
brought into pitch cuz...
This is the one I've been
working on.
- It's, it's, it's been like three
years of my life. -Oh boy.
And you know, but I, I could...
But I could bring something else
in but it would-
No.
OK.
Alright.
- All I'm saying is if he was
into it at all...
- He probably would've given me a
deal, right then and there, right?
- Come on, it was your first
meeting.
- And probably my last too.
- I think I just... I'm not cut
out for it.
Oliver, you can't do this.
Yeah, obviously. I've just been
told that I suck, so that's clear.
- Can't do it. -I'm not
talking about your talent.
I'm saying you can't just have one
rejection and then think it's over
and go cry in a corner or something.
- Cry in a corner? What are...
Dude, I'm saying you need to have a little more
gumption, a little more faith in yourself.
It takes a long time to get your foot
in the door and you can't just give up.
Got a promotion. That's pretty
cool.
At your job job?
Yeah, jobby job.
You know, salary. Which is is good, cuz I've
been hourly guy since I was like a fetus.
Little bit more.
It's full time, Jules, so that usually
means many hours, all the days.
When do you think we're gonna do
"Hobo?"
We'll still do it. I promise.
We'll carve out time. I just...
I just gotta tighten the screws,
I gotta do the adult thing.
Buckle down.
This starving artist stuff is
for bums.
Huh. Yeah.
Uh, happy for you.
Thanks.
And speaking of bums, if you would please
direct your attention to the left.
Don't look too long.
She looking at me?
So what's the, uh, inspiration
behind the white?
I'm selling it by sections.
Um...
Thousand...
per...
five...
You know, break it up, chop it
up, snort it up.
- That's me tonight.
- Yeah.
I mean, but who's gonna buy walls,
white walls? I don't really...
I don't do it for the money.
Guys, look...
Hey.
Guys, look...
Guys, look...
Hey Jules.
Hey Sushi.
Do you want to get some wine?
- Want some wine?
- No that's...
Be back soon.
How was the meeting? How was the
meeting?
The biggie meeting at
Nickelodeon?
Uh, it was, it was a bomb.
Da bomb?
No, no...
I bombed it.
Like, pretty badly.
- It's a tough industry.
- It's a tough industry!
It's tough, it's rough.
- Just stick around, you know, long enough.
They'll give you a...
- paintbrush...
- an easel...
- and a little...
- animation machine or whatever.
I would like to tell you what I,
a person who has only known you a matter
of minutes, already likes about you.
I like your glasses, but...
I'm really interested in your
eyeballs.
And oh my gosh, your face!
It's equal parts mysterious and
creepy.
Is that a compliment?
Yeah.
So where I can see your work?
Uh...
This is some stuff I'm working
on.
Oh!
That's so good!
It's sort of
semi-autobiographical.
- You're a dinosaur?
- No, I'm not a dinosaur.
It's a sea monster.
OK, well tell me this...
What is...
your biggest dream?
For yourself. Like ultimate
fantasy.
I know everybody says this and
it's totally cliche, but...
I would kill to work for Pixar.
Yeah.
I would, like, you know, be a
coffee slave.
Do custodial work, whatever. I'd
just love to get into that building.
For two seconds, you know.
So why aren't you there?
Haha. It's not that easy.
No, you have to go to the right
school, you have to
know the right people. You have
to work in-house.
So get "in-house. "
Can't. Frankly, there's a lot of
steps...
I think my time, just... passed.
You know?
Or something.
I have a friend that works at
Pixar.
You have a friend what?
Yeah, we should go.
You could totally get it in the right hands.
You could go! We should go!
You could do your presentation
for them!
- This is crazy.
- No it's not, it's perfect.
What?
We'll be to San Francisco by tomorrow.
You can see my friend and start
your new life.
- You being serious right now?
- Yes!
- That's insane. -Got all kinds
of stuff in my trunk...
Wait, wait. I don't like that
word. I really don't like that-
What? "Panties?"
Yeah yeah yeah.
Well we can get in my car...
and go to your house and get
your moist boy panties...
That's not a thing. And disgusting.
I would love to do that, but
I...
I got to do the responsible
thing. I got a new job.
And it's a good thing.
What's your name?
Oliver.
Oliver, if you want to change your
life, all you got to do is do it.
OK.
OK, um... Look.
Here's my name...
Lily Blush.
And here's my phone number and
my address.
Your address? Um...
- How do you not know I'm some...
- In case you change your mind.
Pervy stalker?
I have a feeling about you,
Oliver.
And besides...
even if you were...
I like pervy stalkers.
- You and Lil Lil seemed to
really hit it off.
Yeah, she's pretty interesting.
- I like her hair.
- Dude, she's trouble.
- How is she?
- She's trouble dude!
She's just got some energy,
she's just spicy.
When Sushi and I were dating.
Lily comes into town,
like throwing cakes and stealing
money...
Whoa. Watch it.
She's like this, she needs like
a doppler.
I don't like where this is
going.
I say "I like girl" and your
first response is
"I don't care, stay sad
forever. "
That's not that awesome. No,
that's not what friends do.
I'm not saying be sad forever. I'm
saying find your happiness elsewhere.
By the way, you're not the best judge
of character yourself, young lady.
Look at Sushi. She's kinda
wackadoodle...
And her name is "Sushi. "
Which is not a real name.
- It's her pen name.
- She doesn't write anything.
She has a journal.
Look, I'll be good.
I'm a big boy. I know my ladies.
I know how to work it, no
diggity.
Hey, I support you in your
endeavors, I'm just saying...
I don't to come and do the tag thing
at the coroner's office and be like...
- I don't want to do that.
- Whatever.
So be careful with her.
I know crazy chicks when I see
crazy chicks.
Hat's off to Lily.
Owwwww!
I have some really bad news, and I
really don't want to tell you this now.
No, I'm glad... No I'm glad you
called.
Hi.
Wow. Mr. Extreme Makeover.
Where are the...?
Contacts.
Do you still have, um, your
thingies in your trunk?
Say it.
Say it.
Panties.
What?
Panties. Paaaanties.
Yeah, come in.
Oliver...
Meet Goldie. Goldie, this is
Oliver.
You're going to be spending a
lot time together.
Am I going to die?
No.
You're going to live.
- So, I'm really doing this, huh?
- I know.
And you have your new, gross,
button-up...
...dead-end jobby job on Monday.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Not anymore.
Bit of a wild man over here.
Yeah, why? You thought I was...
A little stick-up-the-butt-like.
It was time to take a chance and
do something insane.
Yeah? Why the change of heart?
I guess you could say life's handed
me a couple of crap popsicles lately.
Crap popsicles?
And I wanted to...
I wanted to see what this new
girl was all about...
I don't want to be
passenger-driver here...
but you know that PCH is like
the three-hours-longer route?
I'm sorry, do you have somewhere to be?
I think I'm kidnapping you.
So you can shut it...
Whoa.
It's also the more awesome
route.
I'm thinking I want some
caffeine before we go.
- Would you like some as well?
- Um, no, I...
You want to go rob this store
right now?
We just go in, we run in and we grab some stuff and we go.
We might be really good at it!
Like we could start a club.
What would our club be?
Well, The Caper Kind. Duh.
We would go and we would burgle, like,
every convenience store on every corner.
It would be awesome. We'd become
really famous and
And the police would always be two steps behind
us and every time they'd get there we'd be gone!
And they'd always go, "What sort of
robbery are we looking at, boys?"
And the other guy, the little fat
squirrelly guy, would be like,
"Gee Chief, I don't know. Sure looks,
sure looks like The Caper Kind. "
And, um, you know, we'd be
legends.
Also, we'd have lots of snacks.
Please don't take this the wrong way.
You're the weirdest person I've ever met.
- And I love it.
- Yeah?
Yeah.
- Hi. Hi Dave, this is Oliver Hayes.
I just wanted to call really quickly...
- Sorry to bug you on the
weekend, and, um...
A) thanks for the opportunity and
promotion - that's really cool of you.
Uh, I'm really excited, but I...
B) I don't know if I'll be able
to make it in on Monday.
I know haven't come into work yet and shouldn't
be taking a vacation yet, but that...
I met a girl. I didn't-I-
Is this the longest message you've ever gotten or what?
I will talk to you later, dude.
Stay cool, bye bye.
That was a disaster.
So that went, like, F-minus.
Sorry to hear that.
Are you OK?
Yeah, there was just this...
freaking creepy ass dude making some
creepy ass comments about me and
following me around the store,
so I decided-
Probably not a big deal, I mean, I don't mean
to be insensitive, but he probably just...
He was probably trying to flirt
with you, because...
It really bothers me when...
guys, cuz they always do...
think that just because they think a girl is hot,
that it's OK to make her feel uncomfortable.
Or to say stupid shit to her.
It's like...
Go away dude. It's so, so ridiculous,
it doesn't even make any sense.
You don't-I'm not just this. I'm this and I'm this.
And you don't know this, so...
Leave me alone. I hate it!
Look, I get it. I...
I mean I'm not a woman, so obviously I
don't get hit on very often, but...
I know what it's like to be hunted. I had this
bully in 6th grade who would make the A-OK symbol.
He was this big, huge guy named Ben Garvin, and if you
got caught looking in the center of this thing...
He would call you a bitch, but he'd say
it in this weird voice, like "beetch. "
- What? -And it meant then that he could
hit you if you got caught looking
in the center of it. And so he
hit me all the time.
I'm sorry.
It's not cool, when you feel...
bullied.
Bullies suck.
- You know what doesn't suck?
- What?
Hot jams.
Where are we?
One of my most favorite places
in the whole world.
Not yet. We've got to wait for
the butterflies to wake up.
- The what?
- Uh huh.
Nap time.
Nap time.
Hi.
Hi.
So, uh, I probably shouldn't say this,
but Jules thinks you're trouble.
- Oh. Hmmmm...
- Uh huh.
I mean, you know...
We never really hit it off.
Right.
You and her are like BFF, right?
Yeah, I've know her a long time
and I've kind of always got along
better with girls than guys.
Yeah me too, just, um, vice
versa.
In fact one time...
- When I got my first toy,
it was a girl's toy. -What?
Yeah. I kicked ass on this spelling bee
and my dad let me pick out any toy,
and I loved Masters of the
Universe, so I picked out Teela.
Not Skeletor or He-Man. Teela.
Who's Teela?
She's like the mega-babe of the
show.
I guess I did that because I
was... so into the ladies?
Oh is that why?
Is that a good pick-up line?
That I'm so into the ladies?
- I haven't heard that one before.
- I wasn't picking you up.
You weren't? Am I not
pick-up-able?
- This is nice.
- Yeah.
- Oh you know who I think
actually lives here? -Who?
That Ben Garvin guy.
- Lives here in the forest? -No no,
silly, here in Santa Barbara.
- No! -Yeah, couple weeks
ago he contacted me
on the computer.
It freaked me out. I was like...
he found me.
And uh...
Yeah, man. Ghosts and demons
from the past.
- Ugh.
- Hmmm.
- Cool story.
- Whoa!
Hey, so I don't really like the
smell of gas on my hands.
- Oh yeah?
- Yeah.
- Would you mind?
- That's fine you, little baby.
Thank you.
- Thank you.
- You bet.
- You're the best.
- I am the best.
I'm a professional gasser.
That doesn't sound right.
No, not really
Oh by the way, I would've
defended your honor,
if that guy came out, you know,
and tried to give you some guff.
I woulda given him one of these.
My hypothetical hero.
No I'm serious. I'm small, but
I'm scrappy.
And I can do some damage.
- I'll keep that in mind.
- Don't want to mess.
Thank you.
- What?
- What?!
- That is insane.
- What?
- I just got a message from that Ben guy.
- The bully guy?
- I'm not even kidding.
- No way!
- What did he say? -He didn't say anything.
It's just an address.
That's so cryptic!
- He's like stalking me!
- What, where? Address where?
Oh my gosh, I don't-it's here
in Santa Barbara.
Told you. He must live here. Oh
boy.
- It's a sign.
- Wait. What up? What?
No no no no no. No.
- Lillers. Lillers?
- What?
Look at me. Seriously?
- You don't know this guy.
- Go talk to him!
He is for real crazy. He used to
actually
punch people in the face with a
fist.
That was a long time ago, he's
probably totally different now.
No thanks.
Oliver, it might be kinda
awkward but anybody can change.
And you've got to show him that he
can't hold that over you anymore.
Confront your bullies, and your
fears. And don't be a chicken!
- What's up, Ben Garvin?
- We're really gonna do this?
- You bet we are.
- This is a super bad idea.
OK, OK. This is it.
Yes.
This is all you. You can do it.
Just be quick, strong and...
- stone cold!
- I don't want to do it. Nope.
- No, no, no, no.
- Oliver.
Honestly, honestly no. No.
It's just humans talking to
humans.
You can do it, but oh wait... Do
you have a gun, just to be safe?
What? No!
Go! Do it! Do it! Do it! Do it!
Do it!
Oh hey wait...
You doing this? So sexy. Really
sexy.
OK, I'll do it.
- Hey.
- Hi.
I, uh...
I got your message, so I was
kinda, I was curious...
You know, what do want, er,
whatever you wanted, I don't...
Yeah I got your message, too.
You got my message?
Yeah, I was like, I haven't seen that guy in forever.
I wonder what he's up to.
- Deena!
- Yeah?
Come here.
- Hey.
- Hi.
This is Oliver Hayes. We were
friends in high school.
- Hey.
- Yeah, "friends. "
So what are you up to?
Oh you know I'm, uh, still trying to
break into the animation industry.
Hey, um...
I'm sorry I used to kick your
ass in high school all the time.
Nah, I don't even, I don't even
remember it.
Yeah, you remember.
Yeah I do.
It's OK, though. Don't worry
about it.
Yeah this guy, when we were in,
when we were in high school...
he used to draw pictures of all
the kids in class.
He did these cartoons of
everybody, it was really cool.
- Like they were really good.
- Thanks.
Yeah, and one time our art teacher asked him to
draw cartoons of everybody in the entire class,
as like a portrait of a group
shot.
Of everybody in their costumes.
He drew everybody...
Everybody in the class except me,
he left me out of that picture.
Um, but uh...
Look I, ah, it's just cuz I
thought that if I...
If I like did a weird face or a weird body,
that you would kick my ass and I, you know...
Guess I didn't want my ass to be
kicked.
You thought if you drew me
wrong, I would kick your ass?
Yeah.
Yeah, well um, I wouldn't have.
You just never drew me.
Sorry.
I don't care.
Yeah so... I do car radio
systems on the side, so...
if you ever need a system for
your car, I could hook you up.
- Huh!
- Yeah.
They're loud.
Yeah.
Um, uh...
I gotta card if you wanna...
You're still a "beetch. "
- I did this.
- Oh...
I used to do this in high
school.
It was pretty funny.
No seriously, I actually have a
card.
If you ever need anything,
just...
...let me know. -I should
probably get going, I, um...
I have to head off to a meeting
in San Francisco.
Is that your girl?
Yeah.
Don't look at her.
Look at me, don't look at her.
Can you go inside?
Yeah, whatever.
It was, ah, nice to meet you.
Yeah, yeah.
Uh...
Good to see you.
You're a good dude.
That was bizzare.
- He hugged you.
- I know, it was kinda great.
He didn't want to murder you.
Did you set that all up?
Meow.
Your turn to drive, sucka.
You've got a full frickin pitch
here, mang.
Yeah, mang.
There's like three years of my
life wrapped up in that folder.
Yeah, well it's really frickin
original and kinda genius.
- Genius?
- Yeah.
I mean that, you should be really proud.
I'm proud to know you.
Let's go sell us a frickin cartoon! We're gonna sell it!
Sell it! A frickin cartoon!
Ow! We're gonna have to work on
that.
OK, you've been DJ the whole
time...
I think it's my turn.
What is it?
- My life.
- Whoa! Intensity.
It is my life. Not joking, mang!
- Just listen. Ready? Are you ready?
- Ready.
What?
I don't want to take my eyes off
of you.
My parents would bring me and my
sisters to this spot every summer.
Oh really?
Do you have any siblings?
No. I'm the one and only.
My parents had trouble getting
pregnant.
So they said I was the miracle
baby.
Actually my mom was the only one
that would say that. My dad...
and I didn't really talk... that
much.
And I don't really think we will
again, either.
Sometimes I wonder what it would
be like if we lived in there.
Instead of out here.
Seems like things would be a
little bit better.
But we don't. We don't live in
the ocean.
- What
- What is that?
What?
Sounds like a...
Like a bad fortune cookie or a
magic eight ball.
"We don't live in the ocean. "
That's cute.
- Ohhh, look at that.
- Oh my...
- Beetch!
- Ow!
Pee pee!
- It's too early.
- It's too early to pee pee?
And be up.
You're too early.
Oh man, I want to eat a mofo
house.
- Me too. Word up.
Word up.
You know you laugh in your
sleep?
People have told me I have.
That's kinda weird.
That's better than me, my dreams
are always horrific and frighteni-
- What was that?
- Huh?
Were you smelling my pillow?
- I was not smelling your pillow!
- Where you smelling my pillow?
- No. Uh huh.
- That's, um...
Equal parts mass murderer and...
maybe the most probably garbage
I've ever seen in my life.
That's me. Cute plus creepy
equals this guy.
Foxy.
Well I don't know about you, but I am
feeling some sort of frickin veggie omelet.
- Heavy on the avocado.
- Oh yeah... avocado.
- Did that just happen?
- Really?
- You kidding me?
- Shut up. Shut up!
- What?
No way! Avocado's my number one.
You can't steal it. You can't!
Why don't you do me a favor and
stop being perfection.
Hmmm, I'll try.
I only, uh, smelled that
because...
- ... you smell remarkable.
- I smell?
Let me finish...
- Dude, what number is this?
- Oh, I had to borrow Lily's phone.
- "Lily," Lily?
It's like, 8am. I feel like your mom. You
spent the night together or something.
As your friend, I have to let
you know...
- I don't like her energy. -You
know what, you know what, buddy?
I'm just gonna let you know...
that she's the best. And I'll
get all mushy on you right now.
And whatever you're planning on saying right
now is gonna be misinformed and misguided.
And I'm not gonna hear none of
it.
Um, that's awesome.
Uh, I guess I should tell you
this now...
I met this guy at a party last night who
works for "Adult Swim" and he said they
just picked up this show that
sounded almost identical to "Myth. "
It's about the Loch Ness Monster and his best
friend and it's a 22 episode pick-up, and...
So if you're gonna go in an
pitch, and pitch, the story...
I think you should be aware that,
uh, they may have already heard it.
I'm not saying you shouldn't do it,
I'm just letting you know, um...
so you're not caught off guard.
But that being said, that being said, when
you come back from your adventure, I think
we should seriously consider
spending some more time on "Hobo. "
If you have time.
Rad.
Sweet.
Oliver and your friend are off
gallivanting.
Are you mad?
- Ugh. I'm just... I don't, I
don't dig her.
I don't get what you see in her.
- I don't see much in her.
- You, like, brought her to the thing.
- She kept calling me.
So you invited her?
- I felt weird.
- Yeah, it's fine, I just...
I just get... I'm just worried for him.
I don't like to see him...
- heartbroken. It breaks my heart.
- Me neither.
He's fragile, ya know? He's not
equipped for...
normal life things.
Hi!
I got us some orange juice and
croissants.
Why do you have all that stuff.
Um, because I said I was hungry and
I thought you were too. It's nice.
You left it out like you didn't
care if I saw.
- Oliver.
- Look, I... We've...
We just met each other, so I don't want to
come on strong, but that freaks me out.
It's not that big of a deal.
Whoa. It is a big deal. And it's
weird that you don't know that.
I don't want to talk about it.
Let's not talk about it. Don't
ruin it.
Yeah?
Whoa, racing.
Well, yeah.
Oh, Oliver.
We hardly know each other, you
know?
We're gonna find out all kinds of stuff.
Good stuff and bad stuff.
I know.
I just...
Look, I'm way out of my comfort zone here.
I don't do these things.
And maybe I'm sheltered and maybe,
I've just never known anybody...
that I care about... that does
that and...
Look, I don't want you to
change, you don't have to
be all boring and normal and
stuff.
I'm just as normal as everyone.
Everyone is the same amount of normal.
We're all just people.
What?
- Good job, with that bad fortune
cookie speak. -I mean it!
I really do.
Do what?
Love you. I know that sounds
crazy.
But I know what I know.
How long have we know each
other?
36 hours.
- World record.
- Yeah.
For me it was actually one
second.
You know, that whole "first
sight" thing.
Shut up.
Mine was second sight.
too
small and maybe gay.
- You're a jerk.
- But then I blinked.
And it happened then.
Trust what you feel.
OK.
Keep dreaming.
Cats are definitely gonna be on
our side.
- OK. For sure.
- Yeah.
Like at the end of the world, when all the
animals come out and they have to pick a side.
What about, like, OK, so you got
like...
majestic animals like elephants
and giraffes. Good side?
- Yeah, for sure.
- Yeah. Absolutely.
And the you got stuff like,
like... bears.
Bears could go either way, because I totally see
them coming out of the the forest and being like...
- Grrrrr. Sorry about all those times we ate
you, we actually want to help you.
- And obviously everything serpentine
is on the bad side. -Serpentine!
The snakes and the lizards and
the iguanas.
I've never heard anyone have
disdain for an iguana.
OK, then like, dinosaurs?
- There are no dinosaurs! -Anymore. But
a ghost dinosaur is gonna need...
to pick a side, no?
You crazy.
Meow.
Most embarrassing moment.
- Most?
- Yeah, worst. Biggest.
- Most embarrassing.
- OK, got it. 5th grade.
All my stories are from when I was a kid.
I must be a boring adult.
- Yep. You are.
- Anyway, 5th grade...
I'm going out with a girl, Katie Stevens,
she's in 6th grade, she's older.
She's slutty.
- Sweet.
- It's great.
End of the day...
her friends come out of class, my friends come
out of class. I know what's gonna happen...
It's gonna be the traditional,
"going-out" hug.
I can see it. She peels out from
her crowd...
Makes a bee-line. Hugs me. Very
unprepared.
Very nervous. So when she hugs
me,
I let out a little
- Yeah. Toot. Toot toot.
- No.
- Yeah.
- Ohmygod.
And so my mind is racing - how
to cover this?
And all I can think to do is
break the embrace and go...
You started beat-boxing?
- Yeah.
- Wow. Smooth move.
- I guess it wasn't such an embarrassing
moment. - You got away with it.
- Just illustrates how cool I am.
- Oh, is that what it is?
- Mine was similar.
- Yeah.
A little older, like 8th grade.
Had a major crush, major crush, on
this guy Drew, who was in 9th grade...
who was also very short.
- Gross. Yuck.
- Very short.
- All the other boys were way taller than
him for his age.
Whoa, whoa. What is happening?
- Goldie...
- What?
Don't let us down right now.
- I told you this was a piece of crap.
- It's fine, we just...
Sorry.
We won't make it up this hill.
We'll be fine.
What is that? Oh no.
Oh fuck.
- We are going to jail for the rest of our
lives. - Supposed to turn this off, right?
- We are going to jail for the
rest of our lives. - Calm down.
- Chill out. -Oliver, there
is heroin in this car.
Oh, right.
Maybe don't say that? Be cool, act
cool, act suuuuper cool. Super cool.
- Hi. -License and
registration please.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Know why I stopped you?
I imagine because you thought
this sucker was gonna explode?
Alright, I'll be with you in a
few minutes.
He didn't think that was very
funny.
- Shit.
- What? No, he doesn't know.
They can smell fear.
- We're going to prison forever. -No,
we're not going to prison forever.
There are highly illegal drugs, in
this car, right now, and in my body.
Shhh. He can't. Just be quiet.
- Do you know your registration
is expired?
Oh, officer, I'm so sorry. I've been
meaning to fix that. I'm so sorry.
OK, make sure you take care of
that.
I really appreciate that.
- Alright. Drive carefully.
- Thanks so much, thank you.
Thanks, a-hole.
He's not an a-hole.
What?
You're so bi-polar.
- We're so lucky. We got a warning.
- Yeah, I know.
It's a good thing you were
driving and not me.
What do you mean?
My license is currently
suspended.
Oh... sweet.
Whoops.
Haha. Hilarious.
My life is freakin terrible.
Gross.
I'm gonna get a new charger for my phone,
so I'm gonna take off for a little bit.
Can I come with you?
Um, I kinda need to think some
things over.
Um, so I should probably be
alone for a little bit.
- Jules. I think I made a big
mistake.
- I went way too far down the
rabbit hole.
- I strung out on... stupid love
drugs.
Yeah, you were thinking with
your hoo-ha.
I'm being serious.
Your male hoo-ha. Whatever.
You just need to be really
careful with her.
Because she can get in trouble
in two seconds flat.
I know. I know.
You were right. You were right.
Huh. Can you repeat that last
part? It sounded nice to me.
- I was... totally, totally right.
- You were totally right!
Well, where are you? Are you guys...
Did you guys make it up to, uh...
Uh, where are you going? Frisco?
All I can hope for is that this
Pixar thing is gonna pan out.
- It's not like I got a job
to go back to, right? -Yeah.
- I dunno, I guess just be
careful.
Alright, you animal, thank you.
- Call me if you need me.
- Thank you.
Bye.
Hi.
Hiiiii.
Can I ask you a weird question?
Yeah.
Where do you shoot this stuff?
- Cuz you don't have any...
- Track marks.
Yeah.
Between my toes.
I mean, of course you would do
that.
- Look at this gap.
- What?
That's freaky.
No it isn't.
Yes! It's a giant, cavernous
gap.
I tried to look pretty for you.
You do.
Are you mad?
No.
You OK?
Mm-hmmm.
So I probably should tell you...
Um...
The real reason that I...
decided to come with you,
and drag you along, really...
is not because...
you're the prettiest thing I've
ever seen.
Which you are.
But also cuz, um...
My mom got a phone call.
Um, right before.
And... my dad, who we haven't
seen for years...
Um...
I guess a couple months ago...
He killed himself.
And so we just, we just, found
out.
Some creditor had an old phone number and he
called my mom, and then my mom called me.
That's how we found out.
The worst possible way to get
that news.
I bet everyone at Pixar can
just...
feel it.
Feel what?
This impending excitement.
Who's the boss?
- What?
- Who's the boss?
Tony Danza?
- No, at Pixar.
- Oh!
Um...
- His name is John Lasseter.
- Yeah
That guy.
I bet he's sitting in his office
right now...
and he's saying to himself...
"Something is coming. "
"What can this be?"
"Something great is coming to
Pixaaaaar. "
I said, um, John Lasseter, not
John Wayne, buddy.
That's a good impression.
And he's right.
You'll be the animation
superhero.
Then you will...
make everything better.
Just like the people of
Bethlehem and the baby Jesus.
Goodnight Jesus.
Goodnight.
I think I already love you.
Is that OK?
Yeah.
I lost my virginity to a guy
almost twice my age.
OK.
I just thought I should say something
about me, because I mean...
you said a lot about you. Hug farts
and bullies and your dad and stuff.
Yeah, yeah.
I want to hear.
It wasn't like he raped me or
anything.
I mean, I was into it.
I was 17 and he was... 35.
He was kinda the first person who
made me feel like I was somebody.
Made me feel like an individual.
I guess since then, I just get,
um...
really excited about, um, the
intensity of meeting a new person.
I get really bored...
Bored quickly.
Are you bored right now?
I think we need another adventure
before we hit our final destination.
OK. What do you mean?
I dunno, we're going to frickin
San Francisco! Let's go check it out!
So you know how you asked about
my dad?
Um...
He... was my idol.
He was short, he had dark hair and blue
eyes. We looked a lot alike. Uh...
He drew. So that's why I do what
I do.
Before he left my mom and I, I would
hear them fight all the time...
That he was mad and depressed,
you know, that he...
He couldn't... chase what he
wanted to chase, because of us.
When he left...
It was bad, bad news from there
on out.
It just kinda ate him alive, you
know?
Broke his...
Broke his brain and his...
And his... and his heart.
And so that's why, uh...
That's why I'm doing this now.
With you.
It's weird to think that...
you may not see somebody you
love ever again, ever again.
But I kinda feel like...
me doing this now...
if I can make it happen...
it will be like...
I'm doing it for the both of us.
Which is kinda cool, right?
Thanks.
You're my favourite.
And that's of course spelled the
British way, with a "u. "
Because I'm fancy.
You are fancy.
Thank you.
So he knows we're coming.
- Yeah.
- OK.
- Is this too much?
- Yeah. I like your button.
- I mean it's not too much.
- OK.
Don't worry.
- Holy shit. Come here.
- Hi.
- Colin.
- Hey. Oliver.
- How you doing man?
- Nice to meet you.
Come on in. Come on in. How are
you?
Hey man, look who's here!
That's, uh, Richard. Richard,
this is Oliver.
- Lily's...
- Friend. My good friend, Oliver.
- Friend. Cool.
Hey.
So what's going on? You guys
hanging out for a little bit?
We're gonna head over to
SpaceJunk, it's a comic book shop.
They're doing a costume contest,
a whole panel is there tonight.
- It should be fun.
- Cool.
So Oliver, what do you do man?
Oliver's an animator. He's
really talented.
No shit!
I'm an animator. I do all kinds of
filmmaking stuff. But that's awesome.
Yeah yeah, uh, Lily said you
work at Pixar or...?
No! No no no. I temped there
for, like, a day.
Got fired.
Big kerfuffle.
The temp agency didn't fire me, just
Pixar didn't ask me back, you know.
Yeah, he sorta accidentally deleted two
months of background files for "Bug's Life 2".
He makes it sound like it was
intentional. It was an accident!
I was doing data backup and
screwed some shit up. But...
It's whatever.
Huh.
Colin, can I talk to you for a
sec?
- Yeah.
- In the other room?
Yeah, yeah, of course.
So, you and Lily, huh?
- It's good to see you.
- Yeah.
- Where you been? Where
you living at? -LA.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
So what's going on?
I've missed you.
I missed you too.
Colin, uh...
I love you.
Bye...
The sky was dark...
...and there were three different
clouds hovering over-
- What?
- Dude!
I knew it! That girl is out of
control.
- I'm really worried about him.
- What?
She's.. she's just lying.
Hang on.
- What did they say?
- Dude, uh, wait...
You can't say that and not tell
me.
I am gonna strangle that girl.
Hmmm...
- Hello?
- Hello. Hi!
Have you been kidnapped? Are you
OK?
I'm on a really hard level right
now I can't really beat...
- If that's what you mean? -Oh no, I'm
sorry, I'm looking for Oliver. Um...
Oliver just sent me a text from
this number.
This is Richard.
Oliver is with Colin and Lily.
They're, uh, going to SpaceJunk.
Wanna go?
What just happened?
I don't know. This guy answered and said
they were going to SpaceJunk or something.
Oh.
Do you, do you know where it is?
It's in the Mission.
Pendlethorpe couldn't believe
all that he saw...
What are you doing?
I love you but I can't be with
you.
Can't? You can't, or you don't
want to?
Lily?
Yes?
Can I talk to you for a second?
Yeah.
That guy's more than a friend,
isn't he?
Because that's what you told me.
Is he more than a friend? Did
you lie to me?
It's not a lie if the intention
is pure.
- What is that garbage? What
does that mean? -Shhhhh...
Is this happening right now?
- Stop it.
- Who's that guy, Lily?
We...
We dated. We are dating. I dunno.
I came to break up with him.
You brought me to your
boyfriend's house.
- He's not my boyfriend.
- That's awesome, that's great.
He's just like some stupid temp
who wasn't even a Pixar animator?
Cool. Thank you. Thank you.
- Why are you being like this?
- I saw you kiss him.
You were spying?
I looked, I looked, and...
I... I didn't want to see it.
- This sucks.
- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
- You say that too much, OK?
Can I talk?
It was just a goodbye kiss. He and
I are not anything anymore, OK?
No!
No, it's not OK.
You're not gonna just make excuses
for yourself anymore, OK?
You roped me around your
finger...
and dragged my ass up here.
I lost my job.
OK?
I gave everything up...
to follow you and your stupid
lies.
And it was just... it's been a
complete waste of time.
It's been a complete waste of
time and you broke my heart,
you screwed up my brains,
and you did it at a time where I
was really vulnerable
and that sucks.
You know what kinda people do
that?
Crazy-ass junkies, that's who.
I'm sorry.
I told you, you say that too
much.
What are you doing? You're gonna
leave?
You're gonna take the car?
You're gonna leave me here?
Yep.
I don't care about you anymore.
How was that?
Not the best.
Come here.
It's OK, man. I'm sorry, dude.
Come on in, let me grab you a
beer, let's talk it out, huh?
It's real tough realizing you're
a has-been...
This is great. That's really good, man.
- I'm impressed, man. That was
really good.
- Thanks. -It could be on TV now.
It really could.
I brought my whole pitch packet and
show bible. Everything. I was gonna...
- To show me?
- Yeah, I was gonna...
Sell my ass off.
I though you were, like, some 40 year
old guy that I was gonna be meeting.
That was a dick move on her
part, I'm sorry...
I feel bad, man. But that's what
she does.
You know? She's a magician. She
makes you think... Ah, I dunno...
- Alakazam.
- Mm-hmmm...
I mean, truth is, I had some
time to get over her.
OK, let's not understate things
here, alright? I mean, you...
You lost your mind. She's, she's
nuts.
- She got all violent and burned a
bunch of his clothes. -Mm-hmmm...
She called a couple weeks ago, she said
was gonna come by, but didn't say when.
Yeah, he was just starting to
get over it, you know.
He was moping around and crying
for three weeks.
Then she calls up and he's like a
little puppy, he's back on the line.
I'm right here! You're really
gonna make fun of me right now?
I'm not bagging on you, I
just...
I hate her.
- I just feel really stupid,
know what I mean? -Don't!
Don't think about it, OK?
It's not you, believe me.
She's like some sort of stinking pile of
garbage that's been made into a sandwich.
- That leaks radiation.
- A garbage sandwich?
She's disgusting.
Look look look...
There's two sides of Lily.
lovely
Lily.
Sweet and fun and spontaneous...
And just, when you're with her,
it's just...
The best.
Right.
red flag Lily.
Who's just... chaotic. Screws shit up
for the sake of it. I dunno. For fun.
But... when it's good...
You know, it's just...
OK, she embodies the "MPDG."
In movies, they call it a "Manic
Pixie Dream Girl. "
- Right. -It's like a
character archetype.
Like the eccentric, crazy,
quirky girl, in like...
- Kate Winslet in "Eternal
Sunshine. " -Right.
- Natalie Portman in
"Garden State. " -Right.
- Ramona Flowers...
- In "Scott Pilgrim. "
They steal the loser's heart, make him
do things outside his comfort zone,
and he learns and grows because
of it.
Right? She plays that shit to a
T.
The only way she be as screwed up as
she is, is to think she's this...
free spirit who's out there to
inspire and...
- and help out schmoes like you guys.
- Ahhhh...
I'm not saying... You know what
I mean. I'm not...
It never works out though, man.
Don't take it to heart.
- She just does it over and over again.
I'm like... -Oh!
- Trail of dead.
- Constantly.
Don't think about it though,
man.
It'll mess you up.
It's not you. Just keep saying
that. It's not you.
- Trust me.
- Yeah.
There's whole support groups just
for people who've dealt with her.
I'm done talking about it.
We're gonna go to SpaceJunk.
It's gonna be fun. We're gonna
dress up.
- You should come.
- Let's do it.
- Let's do it.
- Alright, cool.
Aw, this is bad.
This is bad.
Who is that guy?
- Deke.
- Deke?
- Mm-hmmm. -Yeah. Stupid
name for a stupid guy.
He's also dating Lily.
What?
Yeah, he's the reason I met her.
They were dating while we were
working on a project together.
He pitched the idea behind my back,
she got pissed and dumped him.
- Well, I guess it doesn't
matter anymore. -God...
Look at her. She's in full-on
evil mode already.
The makeup and heels.
We just go, OK? This is...
No no no no. No!
No. We're here. We got dressed.
We're gonna do this, OK?
We're gonna have fun.
- Oh, Colon. Richtard.
- Heh.
Ah, you're looking good. Didn't
want to dress up or anything?
- That's the guy?
- Mm-hmmm.
Oh, Lily was telling me that
you're an animator.
Yeah.
Have I seen any of your stuff?
Probably not.
Do you work for a house or
something like that?
- It's a rough market out there.
- Real rough, Deke. Real rough.
Not for me, I'm actually working
at Lucasfilm.
Yeah it is a big whoop.
Actually, it's a real big whoop.
Kinda less of a whoop considering
how you got the job, right?
I don't know what you're talking
about.
What are you doing here?
I can go where I want.
Besides, you didn't leave me
with a whole lot of options
when you decided to scorch the
earth between us.
You're the one who took the car
and left me stranded.
Looks like you're doing fine.
I knew you'd get along well with
the Wonder Twins.
Besides, I'm sure you've been
spending all day
commiserating over what a
horrible bitch I am.
No, I just found out you do this
to everybody
and probably this guy, too.
What's your problem?
Go away. You don't know
anything.
Come here.
Hey!
- No no no.
- Whoa!
- Don't touch me. Did he touch me?
- Don't touch Deke.
You guys have an outside to this
place?
OK, let's go.
Every place has an outside, you
idiot.
- No, Colin.
- OK.
I'm not doing this!
I'm sorry.
I mean it. I'm sorry.
I tried to help you, Oliver.
So get out of my life, don't try to piece
me together, don't try to figure me out.
What? You think you know me
because
you bonded with some guy I dated
for a second?
You're being so mean right now.
You stole my idea, you douche!
That's because you stole my
girlfriend.
Yeah. She dumped you because you
stole my idea.
Yeah and then she came back to me because
she figured out what's what. So...
Guess she didn't get enough of
that Deke.
Deke!
Deke? OK. Well you can have her
man because she's nuts.
- Yeah, she's nuts.
- Oh is she nuts?
OK.
Interesting.
- Jacket.
- You wanna do this?
- Watch. Jacket.
- That's fine, man.
You had this coming, bro.
You idiots, you really gonna...
- Come on! Come one!
- Get in there.
Get him, D!
Get in there!
- Who whoa. What!
- Get him, D!
Guys, she's not that hot!
You know nothing about me.
But I know a ton about you. Do
know what I know?
You'll never be the person your
father was.
What is that supposed...
It means that you talk and you
whine
about your dad leaving too late.
Well at least he did.
At least he tried. I dragged you
all the way up here because you
weren't ever gonna leave because
you are a coward.
Didn't have the courage to make something
happen with your life in LA and
Guys who get what they want, they get
it because they go out and take it
and that is never gonna be you.
- Idiots! Stop!
Whoa!
Whoa whoa.
Yeah, that was douchebaggy.
- Oh my god.
Hey.
Marty.
I want to say it was really great
working with you again, man.
See you in the future.
- Nice, D.
- Deke!
- Man, those guys are dicks.
- Total dicks. They're the worst.
- Total douchebags. -I got
some good shots in, right?
- Totally. -We should probably
get ice or something. Like a...
You want some ice? Like a steak?
You want me to go get a steak?
- We look good though.
- Yeah.
Hey, what happened?
- There's been some fighting. -
- What?
I think he popped my eye, man.
- Come here.
- Can you see out of it?
Hey.
Hey.
What?
- I want to talk to you.
- What?
No. Don't touch me!
- Don't you...
- I'm trying to calm you down.
Nobody forced you to come with
me!
You saw what you wanted me to be
and
I made you feel good for a
little while.
You're hurting me!
Stop it!
Stop.
Stop it. Shut up. Shut up!
Shut up.
- Do you know what that feels like?
- No. I don't.
That's what it feels like.
Go be a nice guy somewhere else.
- Excuse me, folks. Can I get
your attention please?
- We're gonna get started.
- Very excited to announce our
presentation for the night.
- Will you please help me
introduce...
Gavin Eckhouse and Drew Troiller
Pixar Animation Studios.
- What did you say you plan to be?
- When I grow up?
Probably either a cartoonist or
a comedian or an imitator.
Here, baby. Talk to mama.
- Yeah. Tell mommy.
- Talk to mama.
You'd like to go swim in Hawaii!
I swim!
Swim in Hawaii.
Oh boy, will you swim like this?
- Dad, you're gonna...
gonna miss out.
You're gonna, um...
Not be around.
And you should have been around.
Because I have gotta do this.
- But I want you to know.
That I'm not...
I'm not...
Not mad.
I know it was hard.
It's been... It's been really
hard for me, too.
- So tell me what movie you like
to see in the morning?
- You wake Daddy up really early
in morning.
What movies do you like to see?
- "Mary Poppins!"
- "Mary Poppins" and what else?
- I want...
you to know that I'm trying to
make you proud.
And I'm sorry...
I'm sorry...
That you're not gonna see
the cartoon that I'm gonna make.
And I'm sorry that
you're not gonna be around to
see a lot of things.
- Hey. Man, you're not gonna
believe this. -What?
The guys on the panel are from
Pixar.
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
You gotta go over there and
pitch your idea.
Oh no no, I, uh...
I don't know about that.
It's what you came here for.
I don't know what I would say.
It's kinda crazy.
I dunno, man. This is it. It's
like it's meant to be.
That's like the same magical thinking
that got me into this whole mess,
I think it's a bad idea.
I dunno. There's not reason not
to.
Come on. What do you have to
lose?
I could look really stupid.
So?
Go look stupid.
I'll watch.
Hi. I'm an animator.
And I just wanted to, um...
Wanted to show you something I've
been working on for a long time.
And uh...
- We're not really here for that tonight.
- No, no, I, uh...
No, I didn't want to show you anything,
actually, I just wanted to, um...
I wanted to tell you about
something I've been working on.
Ah, get your opinion.
Something I've been working on
with a collaborator.
OK. Um, you've got 30 seconds.
OK! Um...
It's called "Hobo. "
With an exclamation point.
And it's about, um...
It's... The main character's
name is Hobo and
he's like an old-timey hobo, you
know, rides the rails and...
Traveling and...
The catch is though, that he
moonlights as a, uh...
a superhero.
Um, complete with his
laser-shooting harmonica.
And um... And he has a sidekick.
A jar of pee named Ignatius
Urine.
That's just the idea that I have
so far.
It's good, man. You should keep
developing it.
Yeah absolutely, really solid
stuff, man.
Cool. Thank you.
- Yeah, no problem. Who else has
got a question?
Thanks.
I know this is...
kinda inconvenient.
But you're a real champ. Thank
you.
No prob.
You just owe me your firstborn
child or a car wash.
I'll let you decide.
No, but seriously...
I'm really...
happy for you and, and shocked.
All at the same time.
- Because.
- Why?
You... Like I walk in there and
you're just...
completely owning the room and,
and, and...
so confident in what you were
saying. And, um...
Just not scared...
of your creativity and it had been so
long since I had seen you do that.
And I'm, I'm just happy for you. I
hope this is the beginning of a
new leaf or something.
This is a weird question...
Is there, um, such a thing as
a...
break-up kiss?
Um, hmmmm.
You ever heard of that?
It occurs in many a film.
I guess I could see the benefits
of it.
Why? Did you have one?
No.
Did she have one?
I guess so.
And I got real jealous.
And it's good that I left LA.
I needed to. I needed to do this
thing.
Even if it was a crazy idea.
Because I had to...
do the opposite of my dad.
I had to do what it took. You
know? Because...
Your dad...
left his entire existence.
Including you and your family to
go
pursue his dream.
But why couldn't he have pursued
his dream
and held on to who he was?
I don't see why those things
can't go together.
I don't think you have
to leave everything...
...you've ever known and
everybody who's ever known you.
To go pursue your dream and be
an artist.
For your dad to run away just
because he wasn't finding instant
success and instant
gratification from others
to me, feels much more cowardly,
um...
than anything you were doing.
So maybe your dad is the example
of what not to do.
Not to run away from all the
things that scare you.
Just stand up to them and
like...
say, "this is who I am," and
like, and and...
I don't know, do what you did
today.
Thanks.
We're almost home.
I don't know if this if gonna be
good, but um...
Whatever. I'm just gonna do it.
Yes siree! You're right,
Ignatius.
I'll be damned if that wasn't
the most hifalutin adventure
we ever did come across.
Barely made it!
See ya in the mornin.
Cool.
Hi.
Hi.
I know I can't really make it up
to you, but
I want to at least return this.
And to tell you that
I'm incredibly sorry.
- You taped them all back up.
- Yeah.
I appreciate that.
Want to, uh...
Go get some ice cream, or
something?
Ice cream sounds great.
I...
said a lot of things I didn't
mean.
And I did things that I really
didn't want to do.
Like,
hitting.
Yeah.
With the force of 10 men.
Still feel it.
Oliver, I have a lot of
problems.
And I do try and do that "manic
pixie" thing.
He told you about that, too?
Yep yep yep yep.
Made me feel kinda stupid but
it's true enough, I guess.
I like "manic pixie".
I don't care...
that you went all "Wolverine" on
my folder.
I'm not mad at you.
I never...
would've left here...
if it hadn't been for you.
And I'm doing things now and I'm
the person that I am now,
because of you.
That's all you.
You did that me.
You sky-dived into my life...
And you changed it.
You have no idea how good that
makes me feel.
It's true.
What about the other part?
What other part?
The "you and me" part.
I mean...
I think what happened was
that...
You and I went into our own
little dreamworld.
A fantasy land.
Because...
We wanted it.
We needed it.
But... it ended
because it wasn't real.
You know, usually...
with guys I...
have... in the past
spent a lot of time, um...
performing.
Maybe.
Being someone I'm not.
And I did that with you. I did.
I absolutely did.
But I would catch myself, you
know...
hanging out, you know, in the
car or on the beach.
I felt safe.
And I haven't...
In a long time.
So to me, um...
I feel that there are enough of those
to make trying something worthwhile.
But... I...
I can understand if you don't want
to do that. If you don't want, um...
I totally want to do that.
We don't really know each other
that well.
Even now.
So maybe we start from scratch,
OK?
I'm Oliver Hayes.
How are you?
Lily.