1
Don't try to cry
Your way out of this
Don't try to lie
Or I'll catch you in it...
I learned about most things
from my Aunt Lucy.
She taught me how to spell my name,
W-I-L-L-O-WD-E-A-N.
Willowdean.
She also taught me
how to like a name like that.
When you left, you thought I'd sit
And you thought I'd wait
And you thought I'd cry
- You called me a dumb blonde
- Dumb blonde
Ah, but somehow I lived through it
And you know if there's one thing
This blonde has learned
Blondes have more fun
My mom being a bit
of a celebrity around here
just meant she was too busy for me.
So my Aunt Lucy was the one
who taught me how to say
"Yes, ma'am," and "No, sir,"
how to look people in the eye,
and how to find a keeper
in a heap of junk.
But most of all,
my Aunt Lucy taught me about Dolly Parton.
Just because I'm blonde
Don't think I'm dumb
'Cause this dumb blonde
Ain't nobody's fool
Oh, my God, do you see her?
You are honestly a pig.
You're huge.
Go on and git!
Pay them no mind, Willowdean.
The world is filled with people
that are gonna try
to tell you who you are,
but that's for you to decide, you hear me?
My Aunt Lucy
had a way with words.
She always seemed to know
exactly what to say to me.
As Dolly would say herself,
"It's hard being a diamond
in a rhinestone world."
Now let's go get ready.
We always had
the best Dolly parties.
My mom never came to those 'cause...
I don't think she really understood them
or us, really.
It's funny how you can look
at the same things
over and over again a certain way
until something unexpected
suddenly changes how you see everything.
Hi. So good to see you.
- Oh, hi.
- Oh.
Willowdean, this is Ellen
and this is her mom.
Go on, honey.
When I look back,
I think my Aunt Lucy
knew exactly what she was doing
the day Ellen Dryver showed up
at our door.
Elle and I once wrote Dolly Parton
a thank you letter
for giving us each other.
She wrote back.
"The greatest friends have nothing
and everything in common all at once.
Sounds like you two girls
are different versions of the same story.
Love, Dolly."
Just because I'm blonde
Don't think I'm dumb
'Cause this dumb blonde
Ain't nobody's fool
When you left, you thought I'd sit
And you thought I'd wait
And you thought I'd cry
You called me a dumb blonde
Come on, girls, keep up.
We gotta get pageant-ready.
They're back.
And you know if there's one thing
This blonde has learned
Blondes have more fun
You flew too high
Up off the ground
Sometimes I think
my Aunt Lucy gave me Dolly and Elle
to get through the one thing
she couldn't teach me herself:
how to live in this world without her.
I guess as Dolly would say,
"If you want the rainbow,
you have to put up with the rain."
Whale watch!
Okay. That Patrick Thomas is ten pounds
of stupid in a five-pound bag.
Boy needs a swift kick in the pants.
Remember when summer days
felt like they would just go on forever?
Mmm, yeah, and...
Lucy would bring us here
and blast Dolly on her boombox,
and buy us cherry-lime snow cones.
But only on Mondays...
'Cause Fridays didn't deserve
all the attention.
I don't know how I'm gonna survive
my mom's pageant season without her.
She already started her diet.
Already?
"My pilates
just ain't cutting it, Dumplin'.
I gotta zip up that dress come October.
It's tradition."
Ugh, my life with the ex-beauty queen.
Our fridge has been reduced
to bunny food and condiments.
Whale!
Oh.
Whoops.
I have to confess something
or I think I might go straight to hell.
Whenever I see Millie Mitchellchuck,
I think, "I'm fat,
but at least I'm not clueless."
Oh, I don't know.
She always seems happy.
Yeah, she does.
Hey!
Get back here!
Come back here!
Elle Belle!
- Elle Belle!
- Hun!
Hi.
Hi.
Um...
Will...
you remember Callie
who works with me at Sweet 16?
- Hey.
- Hi. It's nice to see you.
Um, Callie is doing
the pageant this year.
Will's mom is the pageant director.
She was Miss Teen Bluebonnet in 1991.
Rosie Dickson's your mom? Really?
Far as I know.
Hey, maybe sometime Elle Belle
and I could come over
and I could ask your mom some questions
about the pageant.
You know, just casually.
Well, unfortunately,
my mom's not home all that much.
She's either at pageant meetings
or at the nursing home
wiping old peoples' butts.
It's what happens
to a lot of ex-beauty queens.
Okay.
- Um, see y'all later?
- Okay.
- Bye.
- Bye. Say hi to Morgan.
Okay, what was that all about?
She's harmless.
If you say so, Elle Belle.
- Hey, Tim.
- Hey, Will.
Bye, Tim.
Bye, Will.
And for today's grand prize...
name the billboard hit
that features the sound of a typewriter
off the Odd Jobs album.
"9 to 5"?
We have a winner.
Tumble out of bed
And stumble to the kitchen
Pour myself a cup of ambition
And yawn and stretch
And try to come to life
Come here.
Jump in the shower
And the blood starts pumpin'
Out on the street
And the traffic starts jumpin'
With folks like me on the job
From 9 to 5
Working 9 to 5
What a way to make a living
Barely gettin' by
It's all taking and no giving
They just use your mind
And they never give you credit
It's enough to drive you
Crazy if you let it
9 to 5
For service and devotion
You would think that I
Would deserve a fair promotion
Want to move ahead
But the boss won't seem to let me
I swear sometimes
That man is out to get me
Heard you the first three times.
Willowdean.
Mmm.
Hi, Bo.
- Hey, Marcus.
- Hey, what's up, Will.
Excuse me. Hello.
Why does table seven look angry?
Oh, I forgot to put their order in again.
But it's three combos, give me one sec--
It's okay, I got it.
Just make three chocolate shakesstat.
Thank you, Will.
Bo?
How fast can you whip up three combos?
Time me.
We have a winner.
We just had our end of summer drawing,
and it's lucky table seven.
Y'all just won free shakes
with your combos
and your meal's on the house.
Looks like it's gonna be
a dessert-first kind of day,
'cause Fridays don't deserve
all the attention.
- All right now.
- Your combos will be right up.
Come on!
Let's hear it for the winners!
You're a genius.
I did say "hold the salmonella," right?
Hopefully our winners make it out alive.
Dumplin'.
Dumplin'.
Mom! That name.
Honey.
Unh-unh. Unh-unh.
I can't be late, Dumplin'.
I am the guest of honor,
so will you please go upstairs
and put on that floral dress
that I got you for Mimi's wedding?
And can we run a brush through
that hair?
A well-styled head of hair...
Is a head above the rest. I know.
The thing is,
I kind of forgot about tonight.
I already made plans with Elle.
We made a deal.
This cannot exactly drive itself.
Okay?
Bring Elle. She'll love it.
Do I have any holes back here?
Oh.
Baby?
You got a little breakout there
on your forehead.
You're not eating that greasy stuff
over at Harpy's, right?
Mom, you know I don't even like
burgers and hotdogs.
Yeah, but...
You've got a hole on your left by the way.
What?
All right. Will you please tell Elle
that she's got to be ready in ten?
She doesn't listen to me.
That's fine.
I know. Close enough.
Yeah.
Dumplin'.
The other side.
- Whoops.
- Oh!
- Okay, darlin', just grab my ankles.
- Uh-huh.
- Okay.
- Okay. Mm-hmm.
Good. Okay.
Oh, God.
- Okay?
- Okay.
- Here.
- All right. I got it.
- Okay.
- All right.
Did I hit my...
Okay.
Thank you, Ellen.
- You're welcome.
- I'm sorry.
- Will you hold that, please, for a second?
- Mm-hmm.
Oh, my gosh.
Thank you.
Wow, you really just parked...
Well, there are no spots.
I mean, my gosh...
Runner up: Miss Coolie Simmons.
Oh, my gosh, it's starting already.
Oh.
I just...
I just wish they all could win.
They work so hard.
Yes. Walking is so, so hard.
Miss Teen Bluebonnet.
Oh, Miss Teen Sweetwater!
Oh, my Lord, look at you.
- You haven't aged a minute.
- Oh, it's the backstage lighting.
Thank you so much for making the trip.
Oh, please. I would've driven
a million miles to support those girls.
It's just such a nice treat
to have a special guest.
That audience is plum tired
of seeing my face out there.
Really, trust me.
My, it looks like
the Miss America pageant out there.
Thank you.
Those backdrops really give
our social media a nice pop.
- Social media?
- Yeah. Hashtag pop.
Oh!
Hoping to give you Bluebonnets
a run for your money this year
in that Best Pageant award.
Look out!
Oh, well.
Best keep an eye on those hemlines then.
- 'Cause they're looking a little short.
- Well.
This must be your daughter.
Oh, no. That's Ellen,
my daughter's best friend.
This is my daughter, Willowdean.
Wow. Okay.
So nice to meet you both.
- So great meeting you too.
- Both of you.
- Nice to meet you.
- And now your host...
- Delia Shepherd.
- Okay, gotta go.
Okay. Have fun.
So exciting.
Good evening.
- It is my special duty...
- Oh.
...to introduce
a very special guest tonight.
To crown this year's Miss Teen Sweetwater,
my fellow former, and the director
of the Bluebonnet pageant,
ten-time recipient
of the best Texas pageant award,
please welcome Clover City's
Miss Teen 1991,
Miss Rosie Dickson.
Well...
Thank you, Miss Delia.
And girls, might I just say,
y'all look stunning tonight.
It is my honor to introduce you
to your new Miss Teen Sweetwater...
Miss Darlene Williams.
Come on, girl.
Beautiful!
I mean, she's just so stunning!
Clover City's KQRK,
I'm Eugene Reed,
your host of all the hits,
reminding listeners to sign up
for the 85th annual
Miss Teen Bluebonnet pageant.
It's just around the corner.
Come on in. I'll cook you
a burger or something.
- Gotta roll.
- Good to see you.
- All right.
- Good to see you. Have a good one.
Bye, Bo.
Hey, where are you going?
Hi.
So...
Those are your rich
prep school friends, hey?
Y'all are so lucky you have
two more weeks left of summer.
You know, not everyone who goes
to Holy Cross is rich.
No, I didn't mean it like that. I just...
You know, like, rich or poor,
we all have to deal with the same
"prepare for the future" thing.
Like...
Kind of like we're supposed to have
some big plan mapped out,
when most of the adults in this town
don't even know what they want to be
when they grow up, so...
If only they had aMagic 8-Ball.
Hmm.
Thanks, by the way.
Weirdly, I...
always wanted one of these.
Did we poison table seven yesterday?
Well, I guess we'd better send flowers.
Come on.
Better get back to work.
Oh, my stars.
You scared me.
That was one of Lucy's favorite dresses.
Dumplin', I don't want to talk
about this right now.
We agreed that we would do this
before the end of summer.
Mom, she's been gone six months.
When can we talk about her?
What are you planning on doing
with everything?
Well, I don't-- I mean...
I guess we'll donate most of it.
She was such a pack rat.
We've just got to make room.
Room for what?
Without Lucy's extra income,
I am gonna have to start doing alterations
so that we can make ends meet.
You mean alterations for the pageant?
Yes, Willowdean.
For the pageant.
Yeah, well,
I want to look through everything
before it gets donated.
Yes, ma'am.
Will, come on.
Aren't you ready?
I don't want to be late.
It's our first day of school.
You're still asleep?
Are you threatening to move out?
My mom's packing up Lucy's room.
Mmm. Well, you should keep
as much of it as you want.
I really want to find that bee brooch
of hers. I loved that.
Yeah, reminds me of her, too.
You know, that little bit of flair
she always had.
Hmm.
When'd you get this?
Prep school Bo gave it to me.
You know that means he likes you, right?
He does not.
He's... nice to everybody. He just...
- I don't know, he's just like that.
- Mm-hmm.
So he gave everybody one of these?
Okay, Will. Um...
Boys don't give girls
sweet little presents
unless they're trying
to get their attention. That's a fact.
Elle...
boys like Bo don't date girls like me.
That's a fact.
Look, he just wants to be friends
so he can ask me questions
about girls he actually likes.
Is that true?
Mmm.
"My sources say no." Told you.
Look, I can't be late.
I'll meet you there.
Dumplin', you're gonna be late.
Well, Sweetwater is working hard
to keep up with the times.
Which is a fool's errand if you ask me.
I know, but it is worth it.
Mm-hmm.
Mm-hmm.
Oh, hold on a sec.
Honey, I made extra.
It's okay. I'm just gonna take a banana
so I'm not late.
Why...
- All right, have a great first day.
- Thanks.
Anyway, all's I was saying is...
these city pageants are just getting
more and more generic every year.
I mean, there's nothing Texas about 'em.
It's like they just popped up
out of nowhere.
Yeah, I agree.
But the thing is, if we talk to her,
she might be able to get us
a few extra decorations.
Oh, Lord.
- I'm gonna have to call you back.
- All right.
Well, I don't care
how popular she is.
We are not doing a Beyonc song
for the opening number.
Our bylaws strictly outline the lyrics
and music deemed appropriate.
It is my job to uphold those guidelines...
- Uh-huh.
- ...however unpopular it makes me.
- I agree.
- Okay, hold on one second.
All right, honey,
I'm gonna call Joe's Garage,
get your car towed,
and we'll find out what's wrong, okay?
Thank you.
I don't wanna hear
the name Beyonc anymore.
So, anyway... Oh, Dumplin'!
No way!
Dumplin'!
Yeah, Dumplin'.
Forgot your phone.
Dumplin'?
Well, you're welcome.
So sorry.
What does that even mean?
Call me little dumplin'.
What just happened?
My mom just happened.
Oh, God. Everybody heard.
It was so embarrassing, Elle.
Here comes Dumplin'!
Just ignore him, he's an idiot.
- Oh, dude, it's Millie.
- Whoops!
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!
Guess they need to widen the hallways.
Millie, you okay?
Good aim.
Suspended
because of indecent violence?
I've never heard of such a thing.
What is wrong with you?
- Me? It's your fault.
- My fault?
I was just defending myself
against a bully
who was calling me that hideous nickname
you've been calling me my whole life.
- He deserved it.
- Have a lovely day, Miss Dickson.
Why, you, too, Miss Hall.
Listen to me, young lady.
Why are you getting all sensitive
about a silly little nickname?
Mom, we know this is about
so much more than just a nickname.
You'll never come out and say it,
but I know you can't stand
that your daughter looks like this.
- What?
- Like a round little dumpling.
Oh, that is not true.
- Oh, please. I don't fit in your world.
- That is not true.
- I get it.
- Listen, I just want you
to have opportunities, all right?
It is harder for big girls.
I was one, I know.
Okay? Luce and I both were.
- You know that.
- Yeah, I've heard the story
about how you lost the weight the summer
before high school and Lucy didn't,
and you went on to win
the Miss Teen pageant,
quite literally
your last crowning achievement.
Watch your tone with me, young lady.
I am still your mother.
For the record,
we both know who raised me,
and she never once
made me feel bad about myself.
I really wish
you didn't idolize her so much.
If she took better care of herself,
she'd probably still be here.
You were always so focused on her weight.
You never even really
got to know who she was.
Do you even miss her?
Forget it. I'm walking home.
Well, I am sorry
that I didn't get to go
to all your Dolly Parton parties
because I had to go to work
to put a roof over your head,
because that's what mothers do.
If you need a helping hand
Need someone to understand
Oh, here I am
Oh, here I am
Here I am
My world is such an empty place
I need someone to fill the space
Here I am
- Here I am
- Oh, here I am
Here I am
Here I am
Oh
Ooh
What?
Here I am
Oh
Ooh
Will.
Up here.
I can't believe you got suspended
on the first day of school,
you overachiever.
Brought your homework.
What're you doing?
Look at this.
Lucy never said a word.
Looks like she thought
about doing the pageant,
but she obviously didn't feel welcome
with people like my mom
lording over it with their measuring tape.
I know that look.
What's going on?
I think I'm gonna sign up for the pageant
and do what Lucy never could.
I wanna march right in there
on sign-up day
just to see the look on my mom's face.
She's always been embarrassed by me.
Now she'll have good reason.
Hmm.
Kind of like a protest in heels?
Exactly.
Like a protest in heels.
How does your mom walk
in these torture devices?
I don't think she does.
- Oh, yeah.
- Is that Rosie Dickson's daughter?
What's she doing here?
Oh, my goodness.
Oh, my.
That's brave.
Thanks.
Well, I'll be.
Hey, y'all.
If you're signing up, I am too.
Uh, what? No.
No, I'm not
the Joan of Arc of fat girls, okay?
This is a bad idea. Go home.
All my favorite things
start off as bad ideas.
Millie, no.
Remember? We're here for Lucy.
Fine. Do what you want,
just don't crowd me.
You're missing
a parent's signature, darlin'.
You can't participate
without a parent's signature.
Willowdean Opal.
Thank you.
Are you trying to get back at me
for something?
Why do you assume the only reason
I'd sign up for the pageant
is to get revenge?
I'm Rosie Dickson's daughter,
it runs in my blood.
Besides, as far as I'm concerned,
a swimsuit body
is a body with a swimsuit on it.
I will not...
have you make a mockery
of me or this institution,
which has been a cornerstone
of our community--
Since 1933. I know.
I could probably recite your bylaws
by now, I've heard 'em so many times.
You know you can't enter
unless I sign that form.
- Mom?
- Mm-hmm?
If you don't sign that form,
you're saying I'm not good enough.
You're saying that every girl in this room
is more deserving than me
because I'm not built like them.
That I don't belong here.
Is that what you're saying?
Well...
What do you have planned
for the-- for the talent event?
It's a surprise.
- Wow, okay.
- All right, then.
No special treatment.
- Wouldn't expect it.
- Okay.
Pageants are harder than you think.
I don't know.
Oh, my God.
Oh... my God.
Wow.
Did you see the color of her skirt?
Yay! This is gonna be so much fun.
Totally fun.
The name's Hannah, glossy lady.
Why are you here?
Hello? Okay, ladies,
please take your seats.
Whatever do you mean?
And what's your story?
Hi there. And, mothers,
thank you so much for coming.
We'll have your daughters
back to you in just a jiffy, okay?
So, thank you.
Oh, my God.
I am so excited that you're signing up.
Did you see that Bekah Colter?
She is our competition.
All right.
Well, I would like to welcome you
to the Clover City
Miss Teen Bluebonnet pageant.
The first beauty pageant
established in the great state of Texas.
Back in 1933.
Yes!
Yeah!
Now, the next six weeks
are gonna be a whirlwind.
Someone in this very room...
...will be this year's
Miss Teen Bluebonnet.
Wow.
Very exciting. That could be you.
Do you think you're ready?
Yes!
Good luck, girls.
Whoa.
Your host of all the hits,
reminding our listeners
that tickets go on sale today
for our Miss Teen Bluebonnet pageant.
Only five weeks away.
Let's kick it off with this great hit.
I know I'm not perfect
But nobody is
There's plenty more important...
Millie?
Millie?
- What are you doin'?
- I thought Pageant Bootcamp
would be a nice way
to get to know some of the girls.
I just have to blend in
in case my mom drops by.
Blend in.
Why, Millie? Why?
'Cause I forged my mom's signature
on my pageant application.
She thinks I joined Needlepoint Club.
Millie, it's gonna be near impossible
keeping your mom
from finding out about this.
Well, I don't have a choice.
When I asked her, she said no.
A church no,
which means don't ask again.
So I just got to stay
one step ahead of her.
Get off the road, fat ass!
You're fat, you're fat.
- Eat shit.
- We'll pray for you.
Bye, Will.
Hey, girls! Wait for me!
- Will.
- Mm-hmm.
Okay, uh, Ron wants us to hang these up.
Oh, and, um, your friends are here
at table six.
All right, hold on.
- Those are not my friends.
- For my talent, I'll strut on stage...
Well, maybe we can brainstorm
some other ideas.
What are you guys doin' here?
Hey, Will. We were gonna see
if you'd join our pageant meeting
when you take your break.
I made one for each of us.
I... really don't need one, thanks.
Oh, uh, Will, could you grab that, please?
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
So as I was saying, for the talent portion
we really haveto play to our strength.
And some of my strengths are singing.
I'm a worship leader at church.
And I hula hoop, and I can tap dance.
If I do all that at the same time,
that could be really neat.
Really. Like, no one's ever done
that before, right?
So. Thank you.
As long as we play to our strengths
and bring our showmanship,
we've got as good a chance
to win this pageant as anyone else.
And a lot of pageant winners
go on to do very important things,
- like Willowdean's mom.
- Millie.
I think there's been
some kind of misunderstanding.
We're not actually trying
to win the pageant.
We're not?
Well, I'm not.
And I don't know what her deal is, but...
Look, it's...
It's a protest.
We're trying to make a point.
- Count me in.
- Well, what's our point?
It's a revolt against
the oppressive heteropatriarchy,
unconsciously internalized
by the female psyche.
- Oh.
- In other words...
We're Spartacus...
and the pageant is the Roman Empire.
Anybody?
- Okay, okay. Hey.
- Oh, no.
Every revolution starts small.
I don't want to revolt.
I've wanted to do this pageant
since I was eight years old.
Okay, Millie,
I think what everybody's trying to say
is that yes, we are still
technically doing the pageant,
and it'll still be fun. It's just...
Your drinks.
You know,
I think you should pull back a bit.
Maybe a little bit more than a bit.
Like... way back.
Okay, then.
Good meeting.
Oh.
And let me know when you're ready
to take this thing down.
Okay, Millie, you can show me
your binder now,
but after that
we have to put it away, okay?
Okay.
Well, I made yours yellow
because you remind me of sunshine.
- Aw!
- So, for your talent, I was thinking...
Can I give you a hand with those?
- Here.
- I got it.
Thank you.
Hey.
There's a, uh...
small meteor shower tonight.
I don't know
if you're into that sort of thing, but...
you know, could still be cool to see.
If you're interested.
Okay.
Sure.
Cool.
What...
Hey.
Hi.
- You want me to come up there?
- Yeah.
Okay.
Best seat in the house, right here.
Thanks.
It's a real pretty night.
Yeah.
- Can I ask you something?
- Sure.
What's the deal with that, uh... photo?
Um... in your locker?
That girl-- uh, woman.
You don't know who Dolly Parton is?
Should I?
She's, like, one of the greatest
singer-songwriters of all time.
She's kind of hard not to know.
Oh.
Okay.
Uh...
Why her?
My Aunt Lucy loved her.
I was probably singing Dolly
before I could talk.
There's just something amazing about her.
You know, she's in on every joke
you could possibly tell about her,
and she's got this wicked
sense of humor and...
And it's like she's always one step ahead,
you know?
Uh...
It's getting really late.
I... I got to get home.
Where...
Where are you go-- What did I do?
Nothing. I... I just... I got to get home.
Thanks for the meteor.
Come through, ladies.
It's your time to shine.
And down, two, three.
Punch away those storms, you guys.
The storms of life.
Breathe out. One, two, three.
And down.
What?
Come on, ladies,
now punch away those fears!
Really breathe out.
Breathe.
"Thanks for the meteor"?
So stupid!
Stay tuned
at the top of the hour,
I'm giving away two tickets
to the Miss Teen Bluebonnet pageant.
Only four weeks to the big day
and seats are selling fast.
Why are we even going to this?
You're the one who got into a bullfight
with your mom, remember?
Don't worry, we'll make it fun.
Okay, what's up?
Bo kissed me last night.
What?!
- I told you!
- Okay, okay.
Save the confetti. It didn't end well.
- Why?
- Well...
I mean, at first it was amazing,
and I just wanted to keep kissing him
until my lips fell off.
But then he-- he touched this spot
on my lower back and...
I just... I freaked.
And, all of a sudden, I was thinking,
like, why does this hot guy
want to kiss me?
And then I started hating myself
for being that girl--
Okay, all right. Hold up.
You know, I've had the same freaky feeling
with Tim before.
- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
I mean, when he touches my stomach
or a spot of acne on my chin,
I clam up like a psycho.
Hmm.
Who will do it? Who?
If we don't
You're late.
Okay. Is everybody warmed-up?
- Yeah.
- Sure.
Who memorized the steps
from the link that I sent out?
Oh, a lot of you. Okay, very good.
Bekah, why don't you come up
and demonstrate.
And, um...
Uh...
Ellen.
Why don't you come up here as well?
All right, let's take it
from the dance break.
Hi.
And five, six, seven, eight.
And hip, hip.
Nice job!
- They look so good.
- That was awesome.
Thank you.
- They look great!
- Beautiful, girls.
That was beautiful.
All right, now, the difference
between winning and losing,
it's all in those details.
All right?
That will serve you well in life.
All right, you two. Uh,Ellen?
Why don't you stay up here, okay?
And the rest of us, let's try it.
Seven, eight.
Chins up.
Okay, remember to smile. This is fun.
That's too sexy.
- Yes.
- Nailed it.
- Elle, that was so cute!
- You, too.
- We need to practice together.
- Sounds great.
- I'm gonna go talk to Rosie.
- Okay.
- Bye, Elle Belle.
- See you at work.
- Miss Rosie.
- Bye.
You ready to go?
- Nice moves.
- I just watched the video once.
They're easy steps, what's the big deal?
The big deal is
that you were prancing around
like the perfect little pageant girl
when that is the opposite of our point.
Well, maybe there's a better way
to making our point
besides just trying to ruin it
for everybody else.
Ruining it is the point.
You--
You just wouldn't get it 'cause
you're not built for the revolution.
- What're you trying to say?
- You have to quit, Elle.
You're the kind of girl that could win
this thing without even trying.
Has it occurred to you that I feel
as out of place here as you do?
Well, you looked pretty comfortable
up there to me.
I can't believe you think you get to pick
and choose who joins the revolution.
I thought you hated pageants.
Well, maybe I never gave them a chance
because I always listened to you.
Okay, yeah.
Go join Coppertone Callie
and live happily ever after
at the store that hates fat people.
For your information, Willowdean...
I never thought of you as fat.
Elle Belle, over here.
I did think of you as fat.
You know, since we're doing,
like, a truth-telling thing.
And thank you
for all your help, Miss Rosie.
Oh.
You know, my mama
just doesn't get all this pageant stuff.
But sometimes I'm just not quite sure
she gets me, to be honest.
That is a shame.
That's a real shame,
but you know what, honey?
Not everybody understands
what these pageants are all about.
- No.
- It's their loss.
- Oh, hey, Will.
- Hi.
- You know Bekah.
- Hi.
Yeah, of course.
- Hi.
- Hi.
You know, you are so lucky
that your mama is so good at...
- just everything.
- Oh...
Oh, please.
Dress fits you so well,
it barely needs a thing.
Uh, Dumplin', will you please hand me
my extra pins over there on the desk?
- Thank you.
- Thanks, honey.
Now, you work at Harpy's
with Bo Larson, right?
- Uh, yeah.
- Yeah?
Okay, so, Bo Larson
is this new boy at school.
And he is such a cutie. Am I right?
Yeah.
Okay, well, bye.
- Bye.
- Bye.
I'm gonna ask him
to Sadie Hawkins.
- You are?
- Yeah.
- That's so exciting.
- I'm excited.
Oh, what a lucky boy.
I mean, how can he say no to you?
Oh.
Hello?
I'm at work right now.
Oh. Um...
Okay.
Elle, this just feels wrong.
Us fighting?
Yes, it does.
And so does rejecting people
for things they can't change.
Elle Belle?
Can you come help me in the back
with something? Thanks.
I have to go.
Don't try to cry
Your way out of this
Don't try to lie
Or I'll catch you in it
Don't try to make me
Feel sorry for you
Just because I'm blonde--
Should I invite the weirdos?
This feels so exciting and dangerous.
Nothing within 100 miles of Clover City
warrants that type of enthusiasm.
What is this place?
I'm gonna be honest,
I've never done anything like this before.
Really?
Should we go in?
Um...
Sh-- should we count to three?
Okay.
One...
- Two--
- Three.
Ohh, what are we doing?
I don't know.
IDs.
No wonder your Aunt Lucy
never took you here.
It's a bar.
Hey, hey. Lucy who?
Uh...
Lucy Dickson.
Oh, I knew Lucy real well.
She's... she's good people.
Come on in.
Keep on dancing on Dixie Avenue
Got another round here for you.
What the hell?
What the heck are they doing here?
I don't know.
Hey, Bobby, those your kids?
I'm not sure.
We got a table for you right over here.
Where are you goin'?
Step to it.
My dear.
Okay, now, I don't want
to see you at the bar.
All right, bikers, cowboys,
and cowgirls.
Holster your guns
and put your hands together
for our first Dolly of the night.
I can see you're disappointed
By the way you...
Willowdean,
correct me if I'm wrong,
but that is a man.
A very lovely man, is it not?
Uh-huh.
Yeah.
Yes, I've made my mistakes
But listen and understand
My mistakes are no worse than yours
Just because I'm a woman
Two doors down
They're laughing and drinking
And having a party
Two doors down
We're not aware that they're around
I'm almost impressed.
Oh, two doors down
Oh-oh-oh, oh
Two doors down
Oh-oh-oh, oh
Two doors down
Oh-oh-oh
He is gorgeous.
Two doors down
Oh, what the fuck.
- Fudge. I meant fudge.
- Well, thank you, ladies and gentlemen.
The gods of the wigs
have smiled upon us this evening.
Back by popular demand,
by some miraculous arrangement,
please put those acrylics together
and help us welcome
Miss Rhea Ranged.
Hi, y'all.
Now, y'all know what Dolly said.
"It's a good thing I was born a girl,
otherwise..."
"I'd be a drag queen."
Mm-hmm.
Y'all are mind readers.
Ooh.
It's good to be home.
- Good to have you back.
- Thank you.
- Love you, Dolly.
- Thank you for missing me.
- It can get lonely out there on the road.
- Get on up there, honey!
Jolene, Jolene
Jolene, Jolene
This is my favorite song.
I'm begging of you
Please don't take my man
Jolene, Jolene
Jolene, Jolene
Please don't take him
Just because you can
Your beauty is beyond compare
With flaming locks of auburn hair
And I cannot compete with you, Jolene
Jolene, Jolene
Jolene, Jolene
Please don't take him
Just because you can
Jolene, Jolene
Jolene, Jolene
- That was not what I expected.
- No, I just didn't want it to end.
Well, hello, ladies.
What did you think of the show?
I am feeling feelings
I've never felt before.
- This place'll do that to you, trust me.
- That was amazing.
Now, if you have a little minute,
there's somebody backstage
that'd like to say hello to you.
We'll meet you in the van.
- Okay.
- All right, then. Come on.
Come on in.
Lee.
Yeah.
Child.
When I saw you out in that audience,
I thought I was looking
at the ghost of Lucy Dickson.
Bless her soul.
Oh.
I can't believe you knew her.
Oh, baby, your Lucy was a beauty.
Inside and out.
- I cannot get over the resemblance.
- I know!
- Genetics, right?
- Uh-huh.
You can run, but you can't hide.
I got my daddy's nose to prove it.
- Come sit down. I got it, Dale.
- You got it.
It's just not the same around here
without her.
Ooh.
So what brought you
all the way out here, sugar?
I think I came here tonight
to somehow try and feel closer to her.
She used to help me
think through everything.
And now I've got myself
into something and...
It was for her, really.
But now I don't know what I'm doing.
Oh, it's okay.
I just wish I could talk to her.
I do too, sugar. I do, too.
You know...
I would never have gotten up on that stage
if it weren't for your Lucy.
She somehow knew that's where I belonged.
She knew it before I did.
I bet you already know what she would say.
We both do.
"Go big or go home,
but either way, do it in a...
"Red pair of shoes."
Now, you know, in all fairness,
it took Lucy a while
to get all the way there,
just like it does the rest of us.
You know that Dolly saying,
"Figure out who you are
and do it on purpose."
Now imagine if you just jump right in it.
Ten giant steps forward.
"Mother, may I?"
"Yes."
"Yes, you may."
We are always here for you, sugar plum.
Okay?
Thank you.
Look at that face.
So beautiful.
Oh.
I listen to a lot
of contemporary Christian music
like Hillsong.
- What do you listen to?
- Metal.
Oh, there she is.
You got big red lips on your forehead.
What happened in there?
I heard Lucy's voice.
Okay.
You know she has a cassette player?
Why don't you guys come over
to my house for a sleepover to practice?
- That's so weird.
- Why's that weird?
Ladies.
Just a reminder,
final approval for talent costumes
and formal wear
will need to be approved by us or me.
And any changes
beyond minor modifications thereafter
will result in immediate
disqualification.
So save the surprises for the audience,
not for the judges.
All right, up first we've got
Millie Michaelchicks.
Michaelchucks?
- Mitchellchuck.
- Mitchellchuck!
One, two...
He is high and mighty
Ooh, mighty is his power
Mighty is his love
He is there with the answers
Let us lift him up
All right, um... approved.
I would just say keep working on it.
Maybe fine-tune it a little bit.
Thank you.
Next.
Hey there, cowboy
Look at that.
- Wow.
- Looks like a cow.
Keeping the tradition alive,
bless your heart.
Approved, approved.
Up next, Hannah Perez.
Oh, God.
Hey, hey, ho, ho,
patriarchy has got to go!
Hey, hey, ho, ho,
patriarchy has got to go!
I'm... I mean, is that it?
No... no music?
Well, I... I can't approve that
because, technically, that's not a talent.
Next up, Bekah Colter.
Ow.
Can I try one more time?
Whoo!
No, no. Stop it.
Approved.
Okay, approved.
Approved.
Approved.
Oh, sorry.
I won with that back in '91.
I got so excited.
So good.
All right, last up, Willowdean Dickson.
Mmm.
You're gonna crush it.
Okay.
In my hand here,
I have a regular glass bottle,
which I drank out of earlier today.
And in this hand,
I have a regular quarter.
See?
Now, I will magically...
attempt to get the quarter
through the bottle.
Okay.
Thank you.
Here we go.
To the left.
Ta-da.
Is there anything
you'd like to say?
I'll practice more.
Promise.
Approved.
Based solely on that assurance.
Well, that certainly was a surprise,
and the one free pass
you were not supposed to get from me.
I don't want to talk about it.
Dumplin', I don't understand.
Why are you doing this?
- You know, there's no shame in quitting.
- Thanks for the support, Mom.
I want to be the girl in the movies
The one with the glint in her eyes
The girl that seldom loses
Beautiful with grace and style
Acting out her story
Standing in her glory
Table nine needs waters.
I think so. Maybe.
Oh, hey.
Hi.
Am I gonna see you
at pageant practice today?
Um...
No, I got to work.
- Hi, Bo.
- Hey.
Hungry?
- Yeah. What do you recommend?
- She's the one who did the magic.
That's right, she was.
- I have to get that.
- Okay.
- She's that magic...
- I need... I'll be back in a minute.
Have you guys decided what you want?
Everything okay?
Yeah.
I think that's the first time
I've ever heard you
give a one-word answer to anything.
Mmm.
All right, look.
You've been kind of hard to pin down,
so I'm just gonna tell you.
I like you, Will.
Why?
Why what?
What about Bekah?
Bekah?
What about Bekah?
She asked me to a dance?
That's it.
And I didn't go.
I don't like Bekah like that.
I don't...
I-I don't understand.
Well...
- It's pretty simple.
- No.
No, it's not, 'cause you and I...
we don't work together
in the real world, Bo.
You're supposed to be
with someone like Bekah.
What are you talking about?
Oh, my God.
I'm talking about this.
How are you missing this?
Do you not know what it would be like
to be with me?
Never took you for the type
that cares much what people think.
I can't, Bo.
- And that might make me a coward, but I--
- It does.
Willowdean Dickson.
I think you're beautiful.
To hell with anyone else
who's ever made you feel less than that.
Doesn't really matter what I think,
does it?
Mmm.
A little more.
Yeah. Let's try it again.
Come on, come on.
- Let's try it one more time.
- Okay. Okay. Okay.
One foot in front of the other
sets the ocean in motion.
Hey, it's Will.
Leave a message.
There you go, girl. That's it.
Where are you?
You told us to meet you here.
Answer your damn phone.
Here you come again
Just when I am about to make it work
Without you
All you gotta do
Is smile that smile
And there go all my grimaces
Just leave it up to you
And in a little while
You're messing up my mind
And filling up my senses
Willowdean, wake up.
Willowdean...
'Bout time.
I'm not prepared.
We have ten days.
This is gonna be a total disaster.
I'm kind of counting on it.
Welcome back to The Hideaway, girls.
We'll find something else here.
All right, my little ladybugs,
are you ready to find out what it takes
to be a real pageant queen?
- It's just a muumuu, right?
- Would you put those down?
This muumuu has a slit.
People always coming up to me
And asking...
Oh, yes. Yes.
Yes.
Fashion diva, no.
What about these?
No.
If you're gonna do it...
you do it in a red pair of shoes.
To offer up a few words of advice
You better get to livin', givin'
I love it!
- Don't smile, you'll get wrinkles.
- Ew.
Whoo, girlfriend.
You better get to knowin', showin'
Yes!
Just a word unto the wise
Strike a pose.
Girl.
Oh, wow.
That's awesome.
He's high and mighty
I like those.
Remember that all things
are not as they seem.
And pull.
Pull.
Don't be afraid of it.
There you go.
It's all right, it gets stuck sometimes.
And that's why we can't have nice things.
Okay.
- No, it's not okay.
- Okay.
Number one, chin up.
Ain't nothing down there but just a penny.
One, two, three, slap your skirt.
- Yes, queen.
- Slap.
My mom is gonna hate it.
One, two, yes, girls.
Five, six, seven.
You gonna work on it.
Yes, girl.
- I have a suggestion.
- Oh, come on. Come on.
If you shake your ta-tas,
you will hear the ra-ras, okay?
So just add some to it.
Hey, like this.
Hey, be careful now.
Two, three, four, five, six. Go, girl!
Rock...
that...
auditorium.
So, what do you see for me?
I see a fitted bodice.
Sequins flowing down to the ground.
As you walk, a feathered collar
is lifted by a mystical breeze.
You got to see it
in here first, baby girl.
Here.
Okay.
Get to livin'
Willowdean, rise and shine.
Today is the big day.
Okay.
You're late.
Well, I told Lee I needed
my wardrobe by noon,
and he said, "I'm a designer,
sugar plum, not a magician."
But everybody's been approved
except for you.
I had to bring backups.
Okay, so, remember,
speak clearly 'cause you never get
a second chance at a first impression.
Be brief 'cause it shows
a sign of confidence.
And avoid using "like" and "um"
'cause it makes us sound ignorant.
And speak from experience
'cause it shows you've lived a life
worth paying attention to.
Those are all Rosie-isms.
Oh, public speaking makes me want to barf.
Okay.
Come on, tough guy.
Yeah!
Hello?
Good morning, girls,
and welcome to the preliminary event.
I would like to introduce to you
your esteemed panel of judges.
Miss Tabitha Herrera from Tabitha Salons,
elevating hair for over two decades.
And Mr. Clay Dooley
of Clay Dooley Chevy,
where value meets quality.
And Burgundy Herrer.
Once a Miss Teen herself,
who now graces the halls of Century 21.
So I will hand it over now to our judges
who will be randomly selecting names
and questions for our contestants.
Thank you.
Miss Willowdean Dickson.
You got this.
Okay.
Our question for you today is...
How would you define loyalty?
Um...
Loyalty.
Loyalty means never giving up on someone,
even through doubts and differences.
It's a noun...
with action,
fueled by shared experiences,
which are memorable,
meaningful,
and irreplaceable.
But loyalty isn't blind love.
It shouldn't be taken for granted.
Loyalty means telling someone
when they're wrong when no one else will.
And loyalty means apologizing
when you're wrong,
because of the trust
you've built over time.
Loyalty is true friendship.
Thank you, Miss Dickson.
Ladies, please find the station
with your name on it.
- Where's my name, where is it?
- Get yourselves settled.
Oh, there it is.
If you have any questions,
I'm here to help.
All right, girls.
We have the space.
It's just a word.
It doesn't mean anything
unless you let it, but...
if it hurts you, it hurts me.
I'm sorry.
Me too.
I was wrong to think you weren't built
for the revolution.
Damn straight.
This booty can do more damage
than you think.
I missed you.
Oh, and I missed you, too.
I'm sorry.
I really do want to stop judging.
I promise. I just...
I know everyone has their own story.
Even Callie.
And if you guys wanna be friends,
I understand--
Okay. Willowdean Opal Dickson.
You are my best friend,
and you always will be.
You're not still doing
that sketchy water bottle trick, are you?
Hey, I have a few tricks up my sleeve.
Although, I sure could use your help
in pulling them off.
- Well, viva la revolucion, baby.
- Oh, I missed you!
I missed you!
Like a fool, I'm holding on
To you-ooh-ooh-ooh
You-ooh-ooh-ooh
Like a fool, I'm holding on to you
Hope you got your tickets
for tonight's sold-out event,
the 85th annual
Miss Teen Bluebonnet pageant.
Who is gonna be crowned
this year's winner?
I'll be your host, Eugene Reed.
See you tonight.
- Bye.
- Bye.
See you later at the show.
Okay. Bye.
Hi.
Is everything okay?
Well, you were right.
I never really got to know...
all of who she was.
I don't-- I don't understand this.
I mean, Lucy was the most confident.
Her confidence...
scared me.
I just can't imagine...
her to want to do something
and not do it.
Oh...
But the dress.
The year that I won the pageant,
we didn't have any money...
to get me a new dress.
So Lucy...
helped me find one, very last minute,
at the thrift store.
And she...
just insisted...
on staying up all night
to work on it, even though I told her,
I said, "It's fine.
It's fine. It fits fine.
No one's gonna notice
a few missing sequins."
I said that.
And the next morning...
when she handed it back to me, she said,
"In life...
the difference
between winning and losing...
is all in the details."
That was her.
Lucy taught me that.
You never told me that before.
Where are they?
They?
Her-- the boxes. Lucy's boxes.
Where are they?
Oh...
Well... I donated 'em.
Oh.
I think I gave too much of her away.
Ooh.
Mom?
Okay, girls, opening numbers.
Costumes, hats, boots.
Let's go, let's go, let's go!
Millie!
Millicent Amethyst Mitchellchuck!
What's up?
I'm not sure.
Oh.
- Oh what?
- She doesn't know. Remember?
You lied to me? You just lied?
You lied straight to my face?
You-- Needlepoint Club?
Sorry.
Is this who you are?
- But...
- What?
You were wrong
for saying no when I asked.
I get that you were just trying
to protect me,
but sometimes I need you to support me.
All right, well, that is private,
and we will discuss that in the car
on the way home.
No, Mrs. Mitchellchuck?
Um...
Millie has to compete.
She's worked so hard for this
and she really deserves it.
She's not fragile.
She's got this thick skin
you wouldn't even expect.
And you know she's been dreaming of doing
the pageant since she was eight years old.
Is that true?
There's nothing in the rules
that says big girls need not apply.
I have one thing to say to you.
How much wood...
could a Mitchellchuck chuck...
if a Mitchellchuck could chuck wood?
As much wood
as a Mitchellchuck could chuck
if a Mitchellchuck could chuck wood.
Okay.
I'm sorry, but you can't lie to me.
You just cannot.
- I won't, Mama.
- Is that a yes?
Yes, it's a yes.
Come on.
A question.
Who the heck did your hair and makeup?
Oh, it's a long story, Mom.
- I'll tell you later.
- I don't wanna know.
I'm very excited.
Ladies and gentlemen,
it is my honor
to welcome you to Clover City's
85th annual Miss Teen Bluebonnet pageant.
Please put your hands together
for this year's contestants.
That was nice.
Thank you!
And let's get a round of applause
for these lovely, beautiful,
coordinated contestants.
Let's give it up to Miss Rosie Dickson
and her beautiful homage
to this year's theme:
Texas, ain't she grand?
She is grand, Rosie, and so are you.
And a good kisser.
Hah! Just kidding.
Ain't she?
Yes, she is. Once again...
Okay, girls. Lifestyle and fitness.
Let's take our places.
Make sure your tapes
are in the right places, ladies.
Everyone gets a Chevy
here tonight. Hah! Just kidding.
And now, on to our next event,
health and fitness.
Please welcome Miss Bekah Colter.
Okay. In 1971, Dolly's seventh single
as a solo artist,
written the same year
as "Nickels and Dimes".
Mmm-mmm.
"It's All Wrong, But It's All Right."
Now let's do this.
Miss Willowdean Dickson.
Oh, and along with Miss Ellen Dryver.
I'm not quite sure what's going on here,
ladies and gentlemen.
- That is so cool.
- Yeah.
Yes. Yes.
I've never seen anything
like this before, ladies and gentlemen,
but the crowd sure loves it.
Weren't those girls amazing?
And now, Miss Hannah Perez.
Just so we're clear,
I'm doing this for me, not for them.
You go, girl.
Miss Millicent Mitchellchuck.
All right, Millie!
Whoa.
Millie!
That's my daughter.
What?
- That's yours?
- Uh-huh.
That's her daughter.
- What?
- That's Millie's mom.
Now please welcome the talents
of Miss Callie Reyes
and her special guest, Miss Precious.
It's all in the wrist.
Sweep, sweep, swipe, swipe, swipe.
Bless her heart.
You're a natural.
Oh, please, Miss Precious.
You're a doll.
Our next talent contestant will be...
Miss Willowdean Dickson,
here to delight you with a magic trick.
Watch this.
Here you come again
Just when I've begun
To get myself together
You waltz right in the door
Just like you've done before
And wrap my heart
Round your little finger
Here you come again
Just when I'm about
To make it work without you
You look into my eyes
And lie those pretty lies
And pretty soon I'm wondering
How I came here without you
All you gotta do
Oh, my.
Is smile that smile
And there go all my defenses
Just a little bit from you
And in a little while
You're messing with my mind
And filling up my senses
Here you come again
Lookin' better than a body
Has a right to
How did she do it?
It's so neat.
And here I go
Here I go
I like it.
Here you come again
And here I go
Yeah!
Here I go
Oh, God.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, she did so good.
Oh. Oh.
Thank you,
Miss Willowdean Dickson,
for that mesmerizing magic act.
- That was amazing.
- I feel like I gave birth.
Our next talent contestant will be
Miss Millicent Mitchellchuck,
singing "High and Mighty"
for you this evening.
High and mighty
He is high and mighty
I believe
- I do believe
- She's incredible.
That His love has
Set me
Free
I believe, I believe
I believe He is high and mighty
Oh, mighty is His power
Mighty is His love
He is high and He's mighty
It's a wonderful feeling
Willowdean, Miss Dickson wants you
in her dressing room.
He said if I be lifted up
What did he say?
He said if I be lifted up
After holding on to me
Let's lift Him higher
Higher
Higher and higher each day
'Cause He is high
And He's mighty
And He has washed my
Sins away
He is high and He's mighty
Yeah!
That was beautiful!
- Amazing!
- Yeah!
We love you!
I can't believe it!
I can't believe I did it.
It was so good, it was so good.
- Really? Oh, man, that was incredible.
- Really. It was so good.
Come in.
Wow.
That was...
That was truly a surprise.
Thanks.
I'm so proud.
Lucy would've been so proud.
But my talent wardrobe was not approved,
nor was my song.
And, full disclosure,
neither was the formal
I was about to put on.
Technicalities, but...
"Any changes made
beyond minor modifications after approvals
will result
in immediate disqualification," I know.
Preparation.
It's key.
Can I just do the final walk?
Not to compete, just to finish?
No.
I wish I could.
I wish I could, honey,
but that wouldn't be fair
to the other girls.
Me making an exception for my daughter?
I'm sorry, Dumplin'.
Oh, shoot!
And you hate it when I call you that.
I will-- I'm sorry.
- Mom.
- I will try, I promise.
It's fine.
It's just a word.
I am Dumplin'.
- Will...
- I am Will.
I am Willowdean, I'm-- I'm a beauty queen.
I'm disqualified.
I'm all of it.
Sorry to barge in.
Tim is stuck in the bathroom
with food poisoning.
My escort is green.
I don't know what I'm going to do.
Well, I'm disqualified,
so you can take mine.
He's sitting near the front
with the drag queen.
- Wait, what?
- Disqualified?
Then I'm out too.
I'm not doing this without you.
- Elle.
- Well, wait, wait.
Wait, wait.
Okay.
Nowhere in the bylaws
does it say that a...
disqualified contestant
cannot escort a fellow contestant.
Right?
Okay, I'll go tell Tim.
He'll be so relieved.
Okay.
Oh, wait! Honey, will you please zip me
before you go?
Mm-hmm.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Okay, pull down.
- Okay. Pull down.
Oh, is it right at that--
at that seam?
- Maybe.
- Oh, no. What is happening?
Uh, well...
- What?
- Mom...
What, what?
- That's as far as it goes.
- No.
- Yeah.
- No, uh-uh. No, no. Come on.
Oh, gosh.
- No.
- No?
- No.
- No!
Oh, no.
Oh, no! Oh, no.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
No.
I have to wear this dress.
It's tradition.
Oh, God.
I did not bring a backup.
Preparation is key.
I have an idea.
I'm-- I'm just gonna be five minutes,
but you have to trust me.
Oh. Well...
What are you gonna do?
Oh, gosh.
Oh!
Oh, gosh.
Oh.
Lucy.
No. Oh, God.
Oh, God.
Oh, no. No.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
Oh, God.
Oh. Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Oh, no, no, no, no.
Oh. Will.
Oh.
I heard you might need a little help.
Come on, girls, hurry up.
Time for formal. Let's go.
Hello, guys.
Who knew beauty pageants
could be a team sport?
- Well, I did.
- Oh, shut up.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the moment y'all been waiting for.
It's my pleasure
to introduce your hostess,
a lady whose elegance rivals her beauty.
The ten-time winner of the Best Texas
Pageant of the Year Award,
and breaking with tradition
on a night full of surprises,
please welcome our favorite Bluebonnet.
Put your hands together
for Miss Rosie Dickson.
This?
You look great.
Do I look that good in that dress?
No.
Ladies and gentlemen,
it is my pleasure to introduce...
Shade.
...our formal wear presentation.
I would like to invite Miss Bekah Colter,
escorted this evening by Mr. Bobby Nelson.
Lucy may have gotten us into this,
but what do you say we finish for us?
Hell to the yes.
Please welcome Miss Ellen Dryver,
escorted this evening
by Miss Willowdean Dickson.
I don't believe it.
You look so beautiful.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Oh boy, what a night, huh?
Please welcome Miss Callie Reyes,
escorted this evening
by Tristan Abbot Barnes.
...not only their grace,
their talent, their intelligence...
but their courage.
So without further ado, it is time
to announce the judges' results.
Okay, girls.
All right, Clover City,
Miss Teen Bluebonnet second runner-up...
Miss...
Callie Reyes.
Oh, my God.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Gorgeous.
Representing Clover City's
Miss Teen Bluebonnet
first runner-up...
Miss Millicent Mitchellchuck.
Yes!
Oh, my grace.
Oh, my grace.
Yeah!
Yeah! Yes!
Oh, my gosh.
All I could think about was Lucy,
hoping she could see this
from wherever she was,
knowing that she had a hand in all of us
girls figuring out who we were,
and, like Dolly, doing it on purpose.
Okay.
It is my honor to introduce to you,
as the new title holder,
Clover City Miss Teen Bluebonnet,
Miss...
Bekah Colter.
Oh, my God.
I can't believe it.
Oh!
Thank you so much!
Wow!
Look at her
I can't believe this!
She's the belle of the ball
- Thank you so much.
- Thank you.
Ain't she grand?
So give her a hand
She beat 'em all
Sorry, ladies, maybe next year.
Look at her, she walks
With that magical gown
Strutting all over the town...
You all wish you were her
Maybe next year
I consulted the Magic 8-Ball.
Yeah?
What did it say?
It said...
"Outlook good."
Hey, did you win?
No.
Aw.
I got disqualified.
That's my girl.
Two doors down
They're laughing and drinking
And having a party
Two doors down
They're not aware that I'm around
Here I am
Crying my heart out, feeling sorry
We're having a party
Just two doors down
I think I'll dry these useless tears
And get myself together
I think I'll wander down the hall
And have a look around
'Cause I can't stay inside
This lonely room and cry forever
I think I'd really rather join 'em
Two doors down
Yeah
Two doors down
They're laughing and drinking
And having a party
Two doors down
They're not aware that I'm around
'Cause here I am
No longer crying and feeling sorry
We're having a party
Just two doors down
Oh-oh-oh, oh
Two doors down
Oh-oh-oh, oh
Two doors down
Two doors down
They're laughing and drinking
And having a party
Two doors down
We're not aware that they're around
'Cause here I am
Feeling everything but sorry
We're having our own party
Two doors down
Popcorn, soda, box of Raisinets
Velvet-cushioned seats
And soft armrests
Best seat in my favorite movie house
Start my dreaming as the lights go out
Up on the silver screen, I picture me
Living out my passions, hopes
And fantasies
I want to be the girl in the movies
The one with the glint in her eyes
The girl that seldom loses
Beautiful, with grace and style
Acting out her story
Standing in her glory
Happy ever after
I want to be the girl in the movies
It's time I show the world
Just what I'm about
I'm stepping up and I'm stepping out
I'm feeling bold and I'm feeling proud
I want to be that girl
I want to be the girl in the movies
Hmm, hmm, hmm
Gonna stand up and I'm gonna matter
'Cause I've had enough
Of my dreams being shattered
And I've had enough
Of my tears being splattered
I've already been that girl
Oh, I want to shine
I want to shine
It's my time
And I want to shine
I want to be happy, I want to be free
Just like the girl in the movies
All I'm trying to do
Is just give you some good advice
And you give it so freely
But hey, this is my life
You don't have to be cruel
You don't have to be so cold
I guess we're both hell bent
On keeping our own control
So I push you away
And then I pull you in
We say what we have to say
And make up again
But if we tried
You and I could make amends
'Cause in push and pull
Nobody ever wins
It's a push and pull
When will it ever...