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Dying Embers (2018)
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Lea, you almost ready? Yeah, I'm coming. We don't wanna be late, honey. I said I'm coming. Alright, come on. How have you been? Alright. Just alright? Yeah, I guess so. You guess so? Everything's just fine and dandy. Just peachy. Lea, you know sarcasm doesn't help. So you want me to talk about my parents' divorce? Sure, if it helps. Or about my suicidal thoughts, or about the fact that my grandma thinks that I'm possessed by the devil? You know, I'm here to listen. Sometimes it's all we need. Yeah, and what about the drugs that you pricks prescribed? Whatever keeps the masses docile. Have I ever prescribed you any drugs before in the past? No, but I'm sure you will. We've been meeting for how long now? A month? Yeah, that sounds about right. So, you're gonna make a diagnosis and tell my mom I might try to kill myself, and then they're gonna pump me full of meds, because that's what you do, and then they're gonna keep me all nice and calm until I'm 30, and then I'll blow my fucking brains out. Because that's exactly how these meds work. You see, it's just the government and the big Pharma companies. They've got their hands down each other's pants. They're stroking each other off, all the while screwing the little guy. You really don't think there's a cure for cancer? 'Cause I say that's bullshit. They don't care about me. Nobody does. You see, it all cycles back. Did you get all that? You're a smart girl, Lea. Yeah, I know. I'm a fucking lunatic. Hi, kiddo. You know, I was thinking maybe we could have a night in, maybe watch a movie or something. Sure. It's your choice. Is there anything in particular you wanna watch? You know, I'm off the next couple of days. We can do anything you want. Your choice. Cool. You know, I know it's hard for you right now. You know, kiddo, I'm trying to make this alright. I know you feel like this is all my fault, and I know it is, but again, I'm trying to make it alright. I'm trying to do the best I can. It's fine. You say it's fine, but I know it's not. How's school, at least? How's school? Sucks. Is that what you wanted to hear? Well, not particularly, but at least you're gonna talk to me. I was a teenager once. I know how we can be, how teens can be. I need you to know that you can stand up for yourself. I can take care of myself. I know you can, and that's not what I'm saying. I just know that it can be hard, and kids can be harsh, and I need you to know that I am here for you no matter what. I am here for you. Please. You were here, so you know how it is, and you know it doesn't matter. It does matter. Look at me. Look at me, please. Look at me. I just want you to know that I am here, 'Kay? Yeah. Lea, please? Come here, you little bitch. Where you at? Where are you? Come out, come out. What are you so afraid of? Can you believe that little bitch tried out for the cheerleading squad? What a freak. Is she delusional? She just doesn't wanna end up like her horrible mother. You know, nobody at school likes you. You're just gonna end up like your mother. What's the matter? Why are you afraid? Lea, come out, you little freak. Get her. Aww, are we scared, little bitch? What's the matter? Huh? What's the matter, huh? You gonna cut yourself some more? Yeah, yeah. You know, you should just kill yourself. The world would be a better place without you. You should just do the world a favor and die already. The world would be such a better place without you. Can you believe this? Stupid bitch on the floor. Madison, you sure we should just get outta here? Maddy! Oh my god. Don't fucking mess with me, whore. Are you psychotic? What is wrong with you? Or I will fucking kill you. Put her down. Let's get out of here, Maddy. Stop, you're gonna get my shoes dirty. Stop. You're so rude. Not appropriate. You love it. No, I don't. Stop it. Do too. Really, stop. You know you got dirt on my shoe, and now I'm gonna have to clean it. What's that? Something that's gonna make you feel better. Is it? Yeah, it's like a vitamin. A vitamin? Don't I take plenty of those already? Yeah, but this one's special. Trust me. And it's gonna make me feel better? Babe, have I ever lied to you? Have I? I dare you to answer that, 'cause I know you can't. You're right. Well, I guess I should just trust you then. Here goes nothing. You're gonna love it. Just give it a few seconds. One, two, three, four, five. Where have you been? Out. Out, out with who? Out. Wait, wait, look at me. Are you high right now? Are you high? What's it matter to you? It matters a lot. It matters a whole lot. Look at me. That's it, that's it. I'm done with you seeing this boy. If I find him within 100 feet of you, it will be very sorry. Fuck you. Don't you ever fucking touch me again. I am so sorry. I am so, so sorry. I am, I'm sorry, please. Just talk to me, please. I'm so sorry. Lea, please. Let me in, please? Open the door. Open the door, please. If it makes you feel any better, I'll let you hit me. Would that make you feel better? Please, just open the door. Sock me right in the mouth. Please? Lea, please. I'm so sorry. Please? No, no. Let it go, Lea, please. Shit. Hi, how can I help you? I'm here to see Brian. Yeah, they're here. Hey, come on in. Right, I forgot. I have to start. So, I got in a fight with my mom, and I tried to cut myself, but I ended up cutting her. It's okay. It was an accident, though. So, you know, that happened, and I got pretty fucked up with my boyfriend. Is your mother okay? Oh, yeah, we're fine. So you're okay? Definitely okay. That's good. Now, were you taking drugs? Yeah, I was taking drugs. Did you feel like you had to take them? Were you not adamantly against prescriptions at our last session? Yeah, but these are different. The ones that your shrink gives you, those are to keep you docile. The ones I took, they liberated me. I can't help but disagree. They create a false world, nothing more than a fantasy world. They're temporary at best. Yeah, but in that fantasy, I can be free. Free? Can you describe this freedom? It's like all my cares are just washed away, and I feel weightless. It's like nothing else matters but me, and all of my worries are gone. In that moment, it's just me. You see, a puppet is free only if it loves its strings. I get it, okay? Do you play? You could say I dabble, but I wouldn't say I'm good or anything. That's alright. I find playing an instrument can be quite liberating, actually. To steal your words, it's almost blissful. You could learn a song, a simple chord. It's a great sense of accomplishment, at least for me anyways. You could play if you want. You sure? Positive. If you wanna spend the rest of the session just playing, feel free to do so. I'll even throw in a free lesson if you want. You could make one hell of a salesman. Here, let's try this. Okay, so what we do is, first of all, this is a right-hand guitar, and you're obviously a leftie, and this is a right-hand guitar, so the guitar's a little upside down for you right now. I would recommend if you really wanted to play that you could either restring it to a left-handed guitar, or you could actually buy a left-handed guitar. I'll talk to your mom about that. In fact, I might even have a word with your mom about that. 'Kay. So these are pretty much the strings here. These are the high strings. These are the low strings, and these are keys, 'Kay? And this here is a tuner. It's our little friend the Snark. 'Kay, so, and with this hand, you would pick with your fingers over here. And with this hand, this is what is called our fretting hand, okay? So you've got your picking hand and your fretting hand and they both kinda work together. One does one thing, and the other does the other thing, and after a while, it's a little clumsy at first, but you get used to it, and trust me when I say, this could be very therapeutic for you after a while, and it could be a little form of escapism for you, and it may help you with some of your problems. 'Kay. Hey, babe. Got you a little something. Thanks. So, John just called. He wants to know if we wanna hang out later. Yeah, sure. What are we doing? I don't know, stuff. Just hanging out. Sure, whatever. Alright, I'll take that as a yes. Come on. I don't feel well. Come on. Stop. I don't feel good. Just stop. Fine. Can you take me home? No, why? What's the matter? I told you I don't feel well. Yeah, okay, fine. Stop, stop. What's the matter? Yo, good thing you didn't get that shit on my seat. Lea. Lea. Lea. Come on, honey, I'm making tea. We can talk about this. Lea, come on. Lea. God bless America. Lea. Like it? I know, right. Oh, what I'm doing here, what I'm doing here. So we got Mick right here. This is me. And that's my dick. You are a fucking dick. Oh, I love you too. I fucking hate when that happens. You know what I mean. Exactly. I mean, seriously, why should I be picking up the trash? There's janitors for that. I thought that was their fucking job. So what happened then, man? I told 'em if I end up picking it up, I'm gonna shove it up his ass. Hell yeah. So I got a write up, but fuck that shit. I'm looking for a new job anyways. Yeah, shove it up his ass, baby. I kept telling him to ditch that place anyways, didn't I? You sure did, babe. I'm sorry. Fuck, if there's anything, let me know. I've been broke as fuck. Forever, yeah, we know, bitch. You'd actually have to get off your ass and look, Mick. But then again, you'd have... Yeah, get off my ass and look. Yeah, I know. I'll drink to that. To the good times. Yeah, good times. Are you not drinking? I'll have one later. Yeah, we've been arguing for a little bit. She's been mad at me, but I'm Steve. She can't stay mad at me forever. Don't talk about me like I'm not here. Someone needs to relax. Whatever. Damn. She told you, asshole. Alright, look. I got something for us, guys. Someone put our minds at ease for these stressful times. Party like the old days. Check these babies out. Yesterday you said you didn't have any. What the fuck? Maybe I didn't wanna give you any. Did you ever think of that? Damn, Mick, you always think about yourself. Always think about yourself, Mick. Mick this, Mick that. Right, right. Always funny to pick on good old Mick. You know what, I'll tell you something though. It does feel good to undercut big Pharma. My man, always fighting the system. Well, yeah, if not us, who? Who's gonna fight 'em? The activists, regulations. I don't know, shit like that. Whatever. Until that happens, I'm the guy. Yo, whatever happens, you just keep 'em coming. That's all I care about. You know what, guys? I should start charging you for this shit. I'd make a killing. I wouldn't even have to find another job. So be a drug dealer. Well, yeah, why not? I mean, my parents always said I had an entrepreneurial spirit. Yeah, let's get this party started. Oh, I see. So you put dealing drugs in the same category as, I don't know, running a store? I don't care. As long as I still get freebies. I'm sure we can discuss that later. No, no, no, I'd like to hear about this store with no walls more. You're a real profound guy, John. Well, yeah, I'm trademarking that so you can't use it. Don't worry, I won't. Good, 'cause I wasn't gonna let you. Fine, I'm not going to. Guys, just shut up and relax, just listen to the music. It's so magical. Dude, John, I'm either really high, or, well, I can't hear the music. Is it 'cause yeah. I haven't been getting much sleep, but it's kinda to be expected, you know? But, the divorce, it's been rough. He hasn't been there a lot. He thinks that Lea's just begging for attention and crying and whatnot. But was he really there before? You've been doing most of this yourself, even when you were married, hence the divorce. He was to a point, I guess. I mean it's hard for anybody to try to understand. Is she being an innocent teenager? Is she having an episode, falling down a hole? Spiraling, as they like to call it. It's very hard to tell. It's hard for anybody to tell. She's always been a little wallflower, trying to fit in, trying not to fit in and not talking to parents. It's a teenage thing. We know that. We've had talks. I don't know if she gets it, but at least she's sitting there listening to me, so I think some of it's sinking in, but it is hard. I don't wanna say something that'll trigger her. Now quit with the blanket answers. Tell me really what's hurting you and bothering you. We're best friends. You should be able to cry with me and talk with me. I'm here. I'm there for you. I'm there for your daughter. I always have been, and I always will... I know she loves you a lot. Has she called you, text you, anything? She doesn't open up. Have you tried talking to her? Sorry, I'm a mess. Are you my therapist now? We're supposed to be getting together, having girl talk, talking about stuff, not having a therapy session for mom. You don't go to a therapist to talk to them because you are not comfortable with them. You are the strong rock of the family. You're the one who takes care of your daughter. You're the one who makes sure that everyone thinks everything is fine. You make her go to therapy, but who is there for you? You are, and I know that, and I'm sorry I haven't reached out to you sooner. It's hard for me to talk about it, 'cause it's hard for people to understand what you're going through if they've never been through it, you know? I know people say, I'm always gonna be there for you if you need to talk. Have you tried this? Have you tried that? Yes, and I say thank you, but until you've actually been in it with it in your house, it's really difficult to try to get through. I don't have the answers. Shit, I'm 43. I don't have the answers. What makes you think a 17-year-old's gonna have the answers, you know? I don't think we ever have the answers. I think the positive thing is, though, is that you're trying to show her and be that positive force in her life no matter what. It is hard. I know she's been going through a lot at school with the bullying and everything like that. We had a wonderful conversation the other day, or at least I thought it was, 'til she got up and went back in the house, but hopefully some of it stuck in. I just wanted to let her know and hope that she knows that no matter what happens, I am here. We don't need to talk about it, we don't need to say words. I got you, you know? Like you've always had my back. I've always had your back in some sticky situations. You know that I will be there for you to bail you out or do whatever you need to do 'cause that's what friends do and that's what moms do. Unconditional love, and that's all I wanna show her, just to tell her that I'm gonna be there no matter what, and I think she was listening. I do think she knows that. I think she knows that you are going to unconditionally love her no matter what. Deep inside somewhere. Deep, deep. Way deep down. Way deep down in that teenage angst hole, Right. She really does understand it. But I didn't want you to come here and focus on all your grief, well, I want you to talk to me about other things. So, I love you, and I think therapy session is over, and now we need to get to the nitty gritty. You know I'd love to talk about your new divorcee sex life. I'm interested. The adventures of a 43-year-old single female. Adventurous? Adventures. If you call waiting for the principle to call adventurous, or looking at the guy in the supermarket like hey, how are you? Checking out those apples today, huh, sir? A little bend over and snap just to appreciate it. Bend and snap, good god. Yes. Too much. Well, you know me. Yo, Steve, look at your girl. What about her? Yo, is she trippin'? I'd say. We should give her that drink, the one she didn't want earlier. Yes. Yeah. Oh, god, that's a great fucking idea. I know. My blessing. Laura, can you hold Miss I'll drink later? Okay, I'm on it. You stop talking. Music is still playing. Morning. Oh, I think she likes it. Open up. Mm. You wanna do me next? She's a good chugger. Better than you, John. What can I say? She's a natural. Ew. Fuck all of you. We're just joking, sweetheart. It's so nasty. So nasty. So sick. Yeah. It's funny, guys. Yo, so, how'd we get this place, anyways? Well, apparently janitors, they also prefer to do drugs as we do. Nice. Oh my god, oh my god. I forgot to show you. What, what's that? Oh, check her out. Holy shit. Where the fuck did you get that? It's my new baby. She's pretty, right? Why do you need that? 'Cause it's fucking cool. It's pretty fucking cool, man. It's fucking dope. Is that your tool for when you open up your business with no walls? Yes, yes it is. I don't really like guns to be honest. Oh, whatever. Look, you guys, you can say whatever you want. This town ain't big enough for the both of us. Is that so? We're gonna have to settle this like men. Loser, big fucking loser. Just be quiet. Do this old fashioned way like, what'd you say, men? On the count of three. Yeah, bitch. Three. Two. One. Draw. Fuck, oh fuck. What did you do? No, I didn't mean anything. Where's she going? Steve, yo, go get her or we're all fucked. I'm on it. Yeah, come on, we gotta go get her. I don't care what we do. We just need to get her the fuck back here. We'll split up. Come on, let's go. Come on. Why don't you just get out? You'll make this easier on everyone. Come on. I'll make sure John doesn't hurt you. Fuck. You think you're gonna get away, you little bitch? Shit. Ah, you bitch. Oh, bitch. Come out, girl. We don't have all day. If you come out, I'll make a deal with you. What do you say? You know I didn't mean for this to happen. It was a dumb accident. Holy Jesus. I almost shot you. Yo, it's just me, fucking psycho. Do you wanna get shot? Do you wanna die too? Yo, you need to relax. We both do. Okay, I'll relax once you find your little bitch, man. Man, I drove her here. She's gotta still be in the building. We just gotta fucking find her. Then stop talking to me and go look. Lea. Come out. Lea. Come out. We can end this. All you have to do is just come to me. I didn't mean to kill her. I didn't mean to do it, but you killed Mick. Come on, baby. John did that. You know I would never do anything like that. But you're trying to stop me from snitching. Come on, he's coming. Just come with me. We can leave before he gets there. No one has to know. Just come with me. But I killed her. It's okay. You didn't mean to. Jesus. Damn. Yo, look what you did to Steve. That's your fucking boyfriend. I saw you come down here. Easy now. Ow. Oh, you little cunt. Oh, this is it. There's no way outta there. Oh, when I get my hands on you, I'll shove this barrel down your throat. You hear me? I know you do. You're fucking terrible at running away. I saw you from all the way down the hall. It's fine though. You wanna play hide and seek? I'm game. Fucking champion in middle school. Good at running away, hiding, and catching people. Both aspects. You're really just making it worse on yourself. Seriously, when I get my hands on you. You think I was crazy before? Just fucking wait 'til what I'm gonna do to you now. I'll tell you this, I didn't like you from the moment I fucking saw you. I wish I shot you back there and not Mick. He was an idiot. He didn't fucking deserve that. But you? Fuck. Where is he? Behind you. So, should I kill you now or have some fun with you first? That's a fucking good question. I'll end your bullshit. Stop struggling. Oh, now I'm gonna choke the fucking life outta you, bitch. All pain from here on out. Dealer's choice. Green tea or grey? Green tea it is. Come on in. Hey, how ya doin'? Hi. I'm alright. Did you wanna play the guitar today instead of talk? No, I think I'd like to talk. Okay. Maybe we can play later. Now, I know a lot has happened since our last session, and I understand. It'll take time for everything to settle and pass, and honestly, it may never pass, okay? But I do know that in time, everything will work itself out just fine, and that's why I'm here, because sometimes not talking is just as good. We can sit here quietly if you like. No, I'd like to talk. Well, alright then. Would you like to start? Maybe later we could play. Definitely. We can jam. Yeah, jam. Frankly, I've been looking for someone to jam with. It kinda sucks playing alone, you know? |
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