# Let's get the rhythm of the hand,
ding, dong.
# Let's get the rhythm of the high jump.
We got the rhythm of the high jump.
# Let's get the rhythm of the high jump.
# We got the rhythm of the high jump.
# Ding, dong, one, two, three, four, five, six.
High jump, high jump, high diddly-dong.
- Hilary!
- What?!
Keys.
You couldn't handle it,
you couldn't handle it.
- These are a collector's item.
- I'm holding for ten minutes already.
And look at that. There's only 39 left.
Oh, I love that hat.
And Roger Callahan, and Misty Ryan,
and the Kinsella boy.
And his sister - what's her name?
- Rosemary.
- Rosemary. Exactly.
Out of that whole gang,
you were the smartest.
- You had the best...
... the best report cards.
And now she's a realtor.
She has a Cadillac with a sign on it.
Could you at least put out
this cigarette while you eat?
Hello? Oh, look at that. There's only 15 left.
Well, how about the business course, then?
You could go back. You could.
Then call Danny. Tell him...
- A guy cheats on you once...
- Don't.
...and you walk out on him
like he shot somebody.
Go back to him, yell at him, holler at him, but
make something happen for once in your life.
At least he supported you.
You missed it, Mom.
- 16 Nob Hill?
- Right up those stairs, miss.
Thanks.
- Straight back and to the right.
- Thank you.
- Hi. What's happening?
- Take a seat. Fill this out, please.
Hi.
Does anybody have a pen?
Thank you for coming.
We'll be in touch with the agency.
Ms... O'Neil.
Hi.
I know you're nervous. Yes.
- Please have a seat.
- Everything's in place, so relax.
Yes, bags are packed. Plane is waiting.
Hotel is waiting. All of Japan is waiting.
She's not on the agency list, David.
Yes. Yes.
Uh-huh.
- You're not on the agency list.
- Oh, no. I'm answering the ad.
The very moment, Marvin,
the second. Yes, I promise.
Right. Listen, Marvin, I have to... I have to go.
Take a pill, Marvin, please.
I'll see you in Japan.
Excuse me.
- Ah, yes. Miss...?
- O'Neil.
I'm afraid, Miss O'Neil, my son ran this ad.
And, uh... long story short,
I need a nurse for my son.
- Are you a nurse?
- Well, no, but I thought that it said...
I'm sorry.
Thank you for coming.
No, thank you for having me.
- Give her a cab fare, David.
- I don't want cab fare.
- Give her cab fare.
- I don't want your goddamn cab fare.
Give her cab fare
and hire the last nurse we saw.
Miss! Miss, please. Come back.
Miss, the farther we go down,
the farther we must go back up.
I'm not going back up.
Understand, this is my duty. If I'm required
to chase you back to, God forbid, Oakland,
I will.
Oh, what a marvellous day. Yes, all right.
And I quote:
"There has been a terrible mistake. "
Would you please come back to the house
for an informal interview downstairs?
- Downstairs?
- Yes. Please.
Go ahead. It's all right.
Yes, please come in.
I'm Victor Geddes.
- Trapped.
- Hey, what's going on here?
No, no. I'm sorry.
Uh... joke. Uh... an icebreaker.
Oh. Well... I can see why the job's still open.
- Ms O'Neil?
- Hilary, yeah.
Hilary.
Good.
This is going very well.
- How old are you?
- 23.
I'm 28. You are not a nurse?
- No, I am not a nurse.
- But you were a candy striper?
Well, yeah, in school, but... I dropped out.
Well, I was in Future Nurses of America.
I was the vice president.
- Alert the media.
- No, that's...
- What did you do?
- I went to the hospital after school.
- Mercy?
- Uh, Our Lady.
- Oakland?
- It's where I'm from.
- I interrupted.
- All right, I dropped out.
- You worked there?
- Right, well, the sisters...
You didn't go to Catholic school?
Well, the sisters at the hospital
talked to the sisters at the school.
And if we did something like, uh...
wear a skirt too short, or commit some
mortal sin, such as French kissing,
then we got the really
terrific duties at the hospital.
- Bedpans?
- Bedpans.
Changing sheets.
Cleaning all kinds of things.
But sometimes they let us
change the babies and...
and then point them out to their parents
through the glass. Hold them up.
That's about it.
I have leukaemia.
I've had it for ten years.
I'm 28. Uh... I said that.
So, since high school.
Uh, not the whole time. I've had remissions.
I've led a pretty normal life.
Been to Europe.
I finished college.
Ran the dash - the 100.
You're not the first woman in my house.
I, uh... Do you know anything
about chemotherapy?
Well, I know it's a treatment for...
They give me a course of it
every time I fail their blood test.
It, uh...
It's pretty...
Well, I need help during it.
Want the job?
You make it sound so attractive.
- Your father said...
- Forget my father.
- Well, he said you needed a nurse.
- Forget what he said.
- Well, if he's the one hiring...
- He's not hiring.
He is flying to Japan
in a luxurious airplane. I am hiring.
Uh...
If you choose to take this job,
you will be working for me, not for my father.
So why would you pick me?
Oh...
I got it.
I had the shortest skirt, huh?
Actually, no.
There was one with a shorter skirt.
But he was never a candy striper.
Anyway, um... it's room and board,
and $400 a week.
- Cash?
- Cash.
Follow me.
This is your room.
If you take the job.
- He's got a cold or what? How sick?
- Cancer.
- Shit, Hills. Maybe I don't wanna hear this.
- OK, how's Jim?
- Jim's a prick.
- How's his prick, then?
Mike, give us two beers.
- OK, so what's he look like?
- Upper classy. Nob Hill.
- Mm. College snot.
- Kinda get the feeling that he was, though.
- He was what, Hills?
- Cute.
- Well, go ahead, girl. You gonna take it?
- I don't know. The place isn't bad.
Fancy antiques. I have my own bathroom.
- How much a week?
- 400 big ones.
Fuck me! Not you.
Grab it. Your mom would go crazy. You could
buy the Cadillac she's always talkin' about.
You could buy the outfit of the week... What?
Just be cool, girl. Don't worry about it.
Hey, baby, you need a walk home?
- Ah, welcome.
- Thanks.
Let me. That'll be all. Thank you, Malachi.
Sir.
That'll be all, Malachi.
Wait.
You coming in this room
is not part of the deal.
I never thought it was.
Pardon me.
Ah, yes.
- How you doin'?
- How are you?
Uh, this is Moamar.
Moamar Gadaffi. He drives me
every Monday morning to the, uh, chemo.
- Hilary O'Connell.
- My honour.
- O'Neil.
- O'Neil.
I'm sorry.
Peter Schmidt, 1886.
Barth & Kenitzer, 1892.
Both of them stood up to the earthquake.
The incomparable Hiss & Weeks, 1910.
Oh, Ronald McDonald, 1986.
You know, the chemicals they inject me with,
actually they're poison.
Poison?
Hiss & Weeks again, 1911.
Yes, the idea is to kill the cancer and not me.
- So, anyway, there might be some reaction.
- What kind of...?
Oh, sweating.
Shaking and vomiting.
Sometimes it makes me scream.
Ah, Mercy Hospital.
- Miss O'Neil? You want me to stay?
- I don't know. No.
The doctor will call tomorrow.
OK, OK.
No, no, no.
- How's that?
- Thank you. Thank you. I'm all right.
Oh!
Too loud!
Too loud!
It's... too loud.
Too loud.
It's OK. It's OK.
Come on, come on.
- Much too loud.
- No, no. I turned it down.
- Much too loud.
- It's OK. I turned it down.
Come on. Let me get you into the bed, OK?
I've got you. I've got you.
I've got...
OK, OK.
The room is humming.
Go to sleep.
Go to sleep.
Shit.
Hold it, hold it, hold it.
I don't get it. What do you mean, poison?
I mean poison. I mean,
I thought he was gonna die.
I thought, one more time
and this guy is gonna fuckin' die.
Shauna, I need help.
I feel sorry for him, I do.
I don't think anybody comes to see him.
I wish I knew how to care for him,
but I don't. He needs a nurse.
He needs somebody who can...
deal with this sort of thing.
I don't think I can deal with this.
I don't.
I have to tell him tonight.
No.
You've reached the home of Victor Geddes.
Leave a message after the tone.
This is your father.
Are you there?
I know you're there.
I'm calling to find out how
the chemo went. Are you all right?
I understand you didn't hire
the nurse. You got that redhead.
I guess I don't have to ask why.
I'll be back in a couple of weeks.
I love you, Victor.
- Dinner.
- Thank you.
- Eggs.
- Thanks.
That's all this redhead could find.
There's no real food in the house.
No. Oh.
Unless you want a Twinkie omelette.
Twinkie omelette.
- Uh... oops.
- Oh. Oh, God. I'm sorry.
No, that's all right. It's nothing.
- I'm sorry. This is important. It's your diary.
- It's nothing. It's notes.
I'm...
This is what I do. It's my PhD thesis.
I've been working on it for five years.
When I can, I will finish it.
- I'm determined to finish it.
- What's it on?
Uh, art. Art history. Do you know
the German Impressionists?
Do they live in Oakland?
Uh, no. Well, then, uh,
just Impressionism in general?
Do...
Like, um...
Renoir? Or, uh... Monet?
Gauguin.
Uh, Van Gogh.
- The flowers.
- Sunflowers.
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Well, that's not who I'm doing.
Oh.
Would you like to see who I'm doing?
Klimt.
Gustav Klimt.
He was obsessed with women.
He needed them the way
most people need food.
Valerie Neuzil.
He called her Wally. She was 16.
For a while she was the embodiment of it all.
Beauty, love, sex.
Until he got bored and passed her on.
She lived only another five years,
and died, it is said, of a broken heart.
- Too late for spying, Malachi.
- Never too late, sir.
Good night, Malachi.
Good night, sir.
Dante Gabriel Rossetti.
Also obsessed, but with just one woman.
Elizabeth Siddal, his wife.
She was only 28 when she killed herself
with a drug called laudanum.
Beautiful name for a drug.
Rossetti couldn't stop painting
her image, over and over again.
Until he died just a few years later.
Klimt again. It's called The Kiss.
Did he use real gold?
I should have explained
the chemo more clearly to you.
It wasn't fair. So, if you...
if you'd like, I can pay you now.
For the week.
You've earned every penny of it.
And, uh... we can... we can just...
You know, we can just...
It's OK.
Thank you, Moamar.
I'll pull this back forjust a second.
I was reading today that the survival rate
of adult-onset leukaemia is now 50%.
And it is even greater
with aggressive therapy.
Here we go.
This therapy aggressive enough for you?
This is gonna get warm in just a minute, OK?
- Victor. What can I do? What can I do?
- Nothing.
- What do you want me to do?
- Nothing! Nothing!
There's nothing you can do.
Not a goddamn, motherfucking thing.
Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck!
Fuck.
I'm right here.
All gold. That's right, all gold.
Oh! She has teeth.
See? That is so rare. You never see that.
I mean, anybody can paint
a little closed mouth, you know?
Jesus, Mary and Joseph!
Tell me that's not a snake.
It's part of a snake.
A whole snake is too expensive.
- He eats that?
- He doesn't eat.
Well, Hilary, honey, bake him a ham.
- It sticks to the ribs.
- Ham has too much fat and too much salt.
You can get two or three dinners
out of it and some sandwiches.
I mean, your grandmother never ate
Chinese snake for lunch, for God's sakes.
- Or Aunt Elma, who lived to be what?
- 206?
92 years old, thank you very much.
And she smoked a pack of Luckies and
drank a pint of Scotch every day of her life.
God rest her soul. Did he pay you yet?
- He offered.
- Uh-huh. Uh-huh. And you said "Oh, it's OK."
And I'm not married and
Rosemary Kinsella has a Cadillac.
- Do you do his wash too?
- No, Mom, I don't.
The man weighs 14 pounds,
but I tell him "You want clean socks?"
"Get off your skinny ass
and wash them yourself. "
I just thought maybe you were a nurse
instead of a cleaning lady, that's all,
who makes a better wage
than I do, by the way.
And is it possible, is itjust possible, that he
wants a little more than a ham dinner, huh?
Huh?
Sorry. Is the music too loud?
No. May I come in?
Um, just a second.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Everything all right?
- Mm-hm.
You have something...
Oh.
Thanks.
Oh, did I say thank you for the other night?
You said "fuck" a lot.
Well, thank you.
So, it's almost eight,
and you're not going out.
I mean, you could. You can. You're allowed.
You don't have to stay home.
It's not part of the deal.
- Thanks.
- But you're not.
So, um...
How about a date?
- Malachi.
- I let myself...
Let yourself in, yes.
- Shall I leave you two alone?
- It's not necessary, sir.
Your mail.
- And your news.
- Thank you for the personal delivery.
My pleasure, sir. One additional news item:
Your father returns at the end of the week.
And may I assume from the intense
odour of mayonnaise in the air
that you will be dining in tonight?
Actually, no. We're going out.
Aren't we?
Going out?
Sure.
We're going out.
Isn't it great? The Chronicle said
it was the best new place in town.
Best... Isn't this great?
It's great.
OK.
- Great. Thank you.
- Certainly, sir.
My mother said you don't have to
like everything, but to try everything.
Oh. My mother always said
"Pass the Velveeta. "
- What is it?
- Raw cow.
- Dead.
- What if I throw up?
Then I'll take care of you.
Go ahead.
- Carpaccio.
- Carpaccio.
- Isn't that great?
- It's great.
What do they, um,
charge for something like this?
I don't know. 30, was it?
30? Wow.
- Wow.
- What?
No, it's great. This place... is great.
It's not great, is it?
Victor, do you really wanna have some fun?
Hi!
Victor. Jim.
- Come on, let's dance.
- Can you dance?
- Could you hold my jacket?
- Yes, of course.
- Hi.
- You were great.
Thanks.
This place isn't really that great either, is it?
Shall we go back to the restaurant?
No.
Arthur Rubinstein.
He was almost 80 when he played this.
I met him. My mother took me
to his apartment and I shook his hand.
Size of a basketball player's.
Little skinny man.
- How'd she know him?
- He was a client of my father's law firm.
- I'm impressed.
- My father's a very impressive man.
- Do I get a cigarette if I drink this?
- No.
How is this one?
- Hm.
- Hm?
- And the hits keep coming.
- It's awfully late.
Oh, no, no, no. One more, one more.
This is the best one.
And I'm sure you have a story
about some beautiful dead woman.
Yes. My mother.
This was her favourite song.
She died when I was nine.
She was beautiful.
I'm sorry.
# When somebody loves you
# It's no good unless she loves you
# All the way
- Dance?
- # Happy to be near you
# When you need someone to cheer you
# All the way
# Taller than the tallest trees
# That's how it's got to feel
# Deeper than the deep blue seas
# That's how deep it goes...
Thanks for the date.
# When somebody needs you
I'm done with the chemotherapy.
- That was the last one.
- Really?
Yeah. It's a course. It's over.
- I thought you had to take a test.
- Would you like to call my doctor?
- No.
- The number's on the desk.
I said no.
I'm sorry.
That's what you get for saving my life.
Believe me, it's done.
And, to celebrate, we are going away.
- Where?
- Up north.
I haven't been outta here for years.
- What about your father?
- I'll call him in the morning.
A vacation. And I need to finish my thesis.
The door buzzes every five minutes here.
- Once in two weeks.
- It'll be an adventure.
We deserve an adventure. A safe adventure.
It's only a couple-hour drive back to
the hospital. Look, I will sign a contract, OK?
"I, Victor Geddes, promise to return
if anything happens. " Anything. You name it.
- Like, you die?
- No. I'm not going to die.
I'm going to recover,
but I can't do it without help.
I can't do it without you.
- It's a 55 zone.
- What?
If you drive any faster this heap will blow up.
This is not a heap. This is a 1974 Cadillac,
bought and paid for by yours truly.
- Nice colour too.
- It's a cool colour. It's a cool car.
- Can you say that, Victor? Cool?
- I can say 70 miles an hour. I can say that.
Well, then, why don't you drive?
No, please don't do that. I can't drive. Hilary...
- Are you kidding me?
- Thank you for your compassion.
Well, I'm sorry.
My father had a driver. I never learned how.
- I think it's time you started to learn.
- No, please don't do that!
It's cool, huh? I'm helping you.
I'm helping you stay between the lines.
There you go. You're doin' fine. There you go.
I know why you like it here. Because
all these buildings have dates on them.
Oh, look at that.
No, don't look. Watch the road.
Goin' a little fast?
What?
I'm kidding. You're driving,
like, 23 miles an hour.
Thank you.
Oh, look. Hi! We just moved in!
A kind and friendly neighbour.
Here, let me get that.
It's OK.
You OK?
It's so beautiful.
- What is this?
- Those are ampoules of morphine.
- For pain.
- Isn't a doctor supposed to do this?
Oh, I know precisely what to do.
- Years of experience.
- Do you need one?
No, I won't need one.
Put them away. I won't need one.
- Oh, I'm sorry.
- No, it's OK. I'm done.
- Come on.
- They'll start by staring.
Someone will ask
"Why ain't you got any hair?"
- They'll be too busy drinking.
- At places like this they always ask.
Two beers.
Thanks. Save the glass.
- You moved into Demazian's place?
- Uh-huh.
Bring your foul weather gear?
Jeez, you're gonna
fuckin' freeze to death up there.
Weather strip. That'll fix it.
I've weather-stripped around
30 houses. Works every time.
You mean you stripped in about 30 houses.
- Anyway, I'd do yours.
- Cappy.
- Hilary.
- Thank you.
- Victor.
- How you doin'?
Hilary, beer's on the house.
- What?
- You're kiddin'.
So, Vic, how come you shaved your head?
Yeah.
He's a Hare Krishna.
- At the airport, the guys in the yellow...
- Saffron.
...robes, passing out flowers.
- Daisies.
- Take off!
- No, he's, like, with his cymbals, singing.
- Sing.
- What?
- Sing, hon.
- Yeah, give us a few notes.
Uh, no. I can't. I can't. I left the order.
- Come on, come on.
- I gave back my robe and cymbals.
- Why?
- Because the order is celibate.
We're like priests. Yes. Stricter, really.
And...
- I shouldn't be telling you this, but...
- We're good for it.
It's very private.
Well, Hilary came along. I was at the airport,
which, as you know, is the best location,
and I was stopping people,
giving them a flower and saying
"God is love. Have a nice day",
then I stopped Hilary.
She turned to me and I knew.
I stopped shaving my head
the next day and we came down here.
Probably her favourite
vacation spot. Right, hon?
Nahhh!
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Nice try, kid.
That'll be $2.50 for the beer.
Are you OK?
Do you need me?
I'm sorry.
Yes, I need, uh...
I can't sleep.
I, uh...
I need to lie down...
next to you. I mean, I need to...
I wanna sleep... in your bed.
Not... Believe me, I'm no threat.
Not after the chemotherapy. I just can't...
This is not part of the deal. Tell me to leave.
No, it's OK.
OK.
What does your tattoo mean?
Strength of heart.
- Good morning.
- Morning.
If I drink this, can I have a cigarette?
I didn't think so. Wait a minute.
Show you something.
Feel. Feel it.
It's comin' in.
- No, no fever. Is there?
- No.
Wait a second.
- I have an idea.
- That's OK.
- I'd like to tell you about it, but...
- But what?
- But don't get mad.
- Why?
Well, it has something to do with...
something you're sensitive about.
My cooking? My clothing? My hair?
Your education.
I have spent my life studying. Years of lying
in a bed reading. Not what you were doing.
- Sleeping with construction workers.
- No, living.
I am trying to learn a bit about that from you
and I wanna give you something back.
To teach you. Not school, but...
I see in you - I don't care about
your little jokes or anything - I see interest.
About things.
- Tell me I'm wrong. Tell me to go to hell.
- Go to hell.
Tell me you're not interested.
What would you teach me?
Uh, well, you like Klimt, right?
We start with a book on modern art.
You take a look at it, you read it.
Then we talk. That's all.
- You talk.
- No. I won't. I promise.
Damn it. I know I do that. You can hit me
if I start. I mean it. Strike me. Pummel me.
I will.
My hair looks good. Don't touch my hair.
- Check.
- I'll bet.
- You got nothin'.
- Go fish.
Hon, hon, you have zippo.
- Two dollars. Two dollars.
- Oh, come on!
- You're bluffing.
- Put up or shut up.
Two bucks. Cards to the player.
I'm in.
I think they should just change the rules.
For instance, you get, like,
a partial credit for a four-card flush.
And especially if you have an ace.
I had an ace. It was the best ace.
That ace of spades was a big, bold card,
and deserves to beat a pair of deuces.
Wanna dance?
- You really are well, aren't you, Victor?
- Yes. Yes, thanks to you.
Uh...
What?
I don't know, um...
It feels like the deal's over.
- What do you mean?
- The chemo's done and you're better.
And, uh... I'm still taking money.
- That's OK.
- It doesn't feel right.
- Maybe we should just go back.
- Back?
Why would you wanna go back?
Well, I... I feel like there's
no job here for me any more.
Is there?
I guess not.
OK.
- Good night.
- Night.
Hi.
I have a confession to make.
- Are you awake?
- No.
Good. Then it will be easier.
I lied.
There were never
any other women in my house.
That's OK. I lied too.
I was never vice president
of Future Nurses of America.
- What about the picture of you and that girl?
- What picture?
- The one in your apartment.
- Oh, Jean.
Jean.
College.
She was... I was in remission.
We were in love, I guess. I don't...
I got sick. She left.
Now you're leaving because I'm well.
No. I just told you I didn't want to
take your money any more.
OK, no more money.
I have to give you something, then.
No more art history lessons, please.
Well...
But then I have only one thing to give you.
My heart.
You can have my heart.
Couldn't say that before. You can't
say that to someone when you're sick.
Yes, you can.
I love you, Hilary.
And I don't want you to leave.
You don't have to say anything.
I do have to say something.
I wanna...
I wanna say, um...
You're a pain in the ass.
But I know the sweetness in you.
And I know that you've changed me.
And I wanna say...
thank you.
I won't leave you.
Oh!
Aah!
Never dare a Geddes!
Good morning, Mrs Merkel.
Hello? Anybody home?
Hello?
Hey, time to strip the windows.
Sorry I've been so long. I've been working up
at this winery for this old lady, makin' barrels.
She's crazy. She's got
three husbands buried out there.
And she reads tea leaves.
I'm not kiddin'. She's crazy.
You gotta meet her.
Here's where your problem is. It comes
right off the water and right in. Feel.
Feel it?
- Hello, Gordon.
- Vic. Hey.
- All right.
- How you doin'?
- Uh, what are you doing?
- I got a surprise.
Well, it is freezing in here.
Call me insane, but I'd venture a guess
he'd like to warm you up in any way possible.
- Cappy told me you didn't have a TV set.
- Yes. Uh, no. I guess we never... ever.
Well, it's a new black and white.
I don't use it, so...
Oh, I, uh...
Here. I'll put it on the table.
Oh, cripes.
"Cripes"?
Be careful! God!
Oh, no. Ah. It works.
Thanks, Gordon. I don't think... We're not
really very big, uh, television watchers here,
but thanks. We're not, uh...
- Oh, wait.
- The Jetsons.
- You're a big fan of The Jetsons now?
- Go back one.
- The Belle of Amherst.
- Emily Dickinson.
- Who is Emily Dickinson?
- Correct.
- TR for 400, please.
- Answer there:
This light Russian sleigh
is pulled by three horses.
- Troika.
- What is a troika?
- What is a troika?
- What is a troika?
It's a light Russian sleigh
pulled by three horses.
- "... fresh and pretty for gentlemen callers".
- Glass Menagerie.
- What is "Glass Menagerie"?
- College snot. He's a college snot.
- Thank you.
- They lived downstairs from the Ricardos.
- Oh, the Mertzes.
- Who were the Mertzes?
- Who were the Mertzes?
- We're just incredible.
- Oh, wait. Wiggle her nose!
- What is wiggle her nose?
- Ha!
- Cripes.
Character played by Shirley Jones'
stepson in a 1970s musical family sitcom.
- What are they talking about?
- David Cassidy.
Isn't that the actor?
No, they want the character.
- Keith Partridge.
- Ah, too late. Sorry.
No, Mr Smarty-pants, under the wire.
- What are springs?
- Shit!
Be quiet while we're trying to watch.
- Ralph threatened Alice with this phrase.
- To the moon, Alice!
- What is "To the moon, Alice"?
- Zoom!
Were you people weaned on television?
One of the two presidents who could
have used the pony express in office.
- Buchanan.
- Who is Abraham Lincoln?
- Ha! You got it wrong.
- Shh.
- It was James Buchanan.
- Oh, yes, thank you very much.
Hello, Jeopardy people! Send
my money through the pony express.
Come on, Alex, bring me a cheque.
Put it in my furry little hand.
Watch this and don't be frightened.
I expect you to be duly impressed.
- Hey.
- Hey, that's great. You made it.
How are you?
- Casks.
- Yeah.
- Oak.
- Oak, right.
He's an expert.
Is that the cask room?
Want a tour? Come on.
There's this crazy old lady who owns
this place. She'll do anything I ask.
Cos she loves me.
Yes, like a mother loves her idiot child.
- This is Estelle Whittier. Hilary.
- Hi.
- Hello.
- Victor.
- How do you do?
- Victor.
- We thought we'd take you to lunch.
- Victor's driving.
- Pass.
- Well, have lunch with me.
How are you doin' over here?
Want some more wine?
Thank you, Annabel.
- What?
- It's a maze.
- Yes! Very good.
- Tell him what's in it.
- What?
- My three husbands.
- Dead.
- Buried, he meant to say.
By me. Each one in their turn.
- Good men.
- No one knows where.
Sooner or later everyone tries
to find them, and get back out.
- Not many succeed.
- Can't be that hard.
Take my word for it.
Step inside and you're lost.
- Brewer's yeast. Delightful nutty flavour.
- I'm sure.
It's good for iron.
Oh, Tiger's Milk. 95% protein.
- Four heaping teaspoons in a glass of milk.
- Just enough to choke an ostrich.
Help me find royal jelly. Royal jelly.
- Do you know what royal jelly does?
- Is this a quiz?
- What?
- You look sweaty.
- It's hot in here.
- Let me.
Warm.
My lips are warm too.
Just a little night sweats, Vic.
It's just a little night sweats.
- What, honey?
- What?
It's OK, baby. Go back to sleep.
- More tea, Mrs Whittier?
- Uh, no, thank you, Annabel.
- It's time to read the leaves.
- Oh.
Little baby Gordon
doesn't have to have his read.
- Thank you.
- I've already read his.
Ladies first.
Thank you, dear.
- Hm.
- What?
A scattering. A road.
- A rabbit.
- A bunny!
- A cwazy wabbit.
- Is that good or bad?
It means luck.
Luck at the end of ajourney.
Out of confusion.
- Really?
- And now Victor.
Uh...
Uh, I can read my own leaves.
Yes, another one of my many hidden talents,
along with boccie and advanced masonry.
Hm. One I'd rather forget.
How about that? My future, it's short
but difficult, with lots of blind curves.
Oh, my God.
Why, it's a maze.
- Not yet. Wait till I get up there.
- All right.
- OK, wait a minute. Wait.
- All right, all right.
- All right?
- All right. Wait, wait. All right, go, go.
My first husband built the damn thing.
He used to run through it naked.
- Gordon, we should go get him.
- No, he's doing fine.
- One minute, Victor!
- Yes, yes, Gordon.
The clock is ticking!
OK, let's find the centre here.
Damn it.
- Three minutes, Victor!
- Yeah.
- Yes!
- Are you lost?
- You want some help?
- I don't like this. I'm gonna go get him.
- No, no, no, no.
- Let her go.
Victor!
Victor!
Victor!
Lost my head there for a...
Jesus!
OK, find the centre here, then get out.
Goddamn it.
Eureka.
Victor!
Oh, no. Oh, no.
Oh, no.
Victor... Victor!
Please. Please. No.
Victor!
Victor!
Victor!
Victor! Aargh!
- Why are you screaming? Time's a-wasting.
- You scared me. Why didn't you answer me?
- Come along, come along.
- Why didn't you answer me?
There's a grave site back there.
12.24. Victor victorious!
- Oh, Victor.
- Jesus! Yes. Hello. You scared me.
Will you get an extra blanket for the bed?
It was cold and I don't want you to...
- Oh, OK... Mom.
- Thank you.
Too bad the maze wasn't any longer.
You'd still be inside.
There's always Versailles.
You know, I told Estelle
you have a terminal disease.
- What?
- Asshole-itis.
Asshole-itis. Very cute. Thank you.
- What's the matter?
- Nothing.
- Hey.
- What?
- What?
- Can't you...?
What? Do it? No. I can't do it right now.
- Because you're sick?
- No. Because...
- Because you're sick?
- Because I can't always do it when you want.
Perhaps I'm not as prolific
as your construction workers.
- Fuck you.
- Ah, Jesus.
Think we can get through this
without a "fuck you", Hilary?
Hilary.
Hills.
I'm sorry.
- Are you sick?
- No.
Would you tell me if you were?
Yes.
Sorry.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- How are you?
- Fine.
Oh, guess what. Estelle gave me this great
white dress for the party. It's from the '50s.
Wanna see what I got my mom
for Christmas? It's not a doll.
Did you call your father
to wish him a merry Christmas?
Give it a rest, hon.
- He doesn't know where you are, does he?
- I'll call him in the morning, OK?
- I ran into Gordon in town today.
- Great.
I invited him to dinner tonight. He didn't
have anybody to spend Christmas Eve with.
# Bring us some figgy pudding
# Oh, bring us some figgy pudding,
and bring it right here
# Bring us some figgy pudding,
oh, bring us some figgy pudding
# Oh, bring us some figgy pudding,
and bring it right here
I'll get it, hon!
# Bring us some figgy pudding...
- Honey, it's Gordon!
- Merry Christmas.
Good to see you.
- Merry Christmas.
- Merry Christmas.
- I'm knocked out you asked me.
- Well, we're knocked out you came.
- Nothing.
- Nope. Nothin'.
Excuse me. I do the garbage around here.
Did you bring us some figgy pudding?
No. Presents.
- Merry Christmas.
- Thank you.
Open it.
- Bubble bath.
- That's not all.
Bubble bath.
- Merry Christmas.
- Whisky.
- It's 52 months old.
- It won't get a day older.
Let's have a toast.
OK, this is to... how great this is.
Really.
OK.
Well, this is not like my mother's.
There's not enough lumps in the potatoes.
- My mother was the worst cook ever born.
- No, no. My mother.
What did she make you for lunch in school?
Wait. Did she give you a bag or a pail?
A pail? Are you kidding me?
I had a pail. It had
The Six Million Dollar Man on it.
And every time you opened it,
it squeaked and everybody would look.
Did she give you peanut butter
and banana sandwiches?
No. Fluffernutters.
Fluffernutters?
Van Gogh.
Huh?
Van Gogh is the answer.
What is the question?
Oh, OK.
- Um...
- Too late.
- Oh, no. Again. Go again.
- Youngest president.
- No, ask the question with an answer.
- Kennedy.
- TR.
- Who?
- Colours of the French flag.
- Red, white and blue.
- Blue, white and red.
- Oh, come on.
- Sculpted the Piet.
- Do sports.
Michelangelo.
- Executed by Elizabeth I?
- Do sports, for Christ's sake.
Mary Queen of Scots.
The S in US Grant.
- All right, wait a minute.
- Simpson.
Grant. Grant Wood. Grant. Grant Wood.
Come on, honey, you should know this one.
American Gothic, for Christ's sake, honey.
Oh, contestant number one. Hold up.
Aren't you going to play, sweetheart?
Victor, we'll play if you do sports or sitcoms.
OK, we'll do sitcoms.
Sitcoms? Sitcoms. Great.
He wrote Lysistrata.
Aristophanes.
- Sitcoms, Victor. Come on, like Mr Ed.
- She Stoops to Conquer.
- Not Shakespeare.
- They're all situationally comic!
- The Misanthrope.
- Hills, what is he doing?
- What are you doing, Victor?
- Jesus, come on! Nine. All right. Nine.
Ni-i-ine!
Hello! Hello in there!
Gordon, don't.
Number of players on a baseball team, Gordo.
Here, let me help him.
Just take it easy, Victor.
You'll be all right.
- Sorry I brought the bottle. I didn't know...
- Neither did I.
If I can do anything...
Good night.
Um... Remember, if you need me...
Thanks.
Ugh!
You lied to me.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, hon. I've been so crazy
I don't know what's going on.
I didn't want it... I don't want it to end, so...
That's all.
- But you're sick. We have to go back.
- No. Wait a minute.
Can we... can we just pretend that, um...
- Pretend?
- Yes. Yeah, that I'm... I'm... that I'm all right.
But you're not all right.
You're sick and we're going back.
- Hilary, listen to me. Do you love me?
- What?
Just tell me. I know it is difficult.
I'm sorry. Just tell me.
- Tell me.
- I don't like this.
All right, all right, all right.
I'm not going back.
I am never going back. I did lie to you.
I wasn't through with the chemotherapy.
- What?
- Shh, shh, my beautiful, sweet girl. I'm sorry.
I had to. It was killing me.
You saw it.
That's why I chose you.
Notjust to come up here with me,
but to stay with me, no matter what
happens. No matter what happens.
- No.
- Shh, shh.
Just to stay for good, or whatever.
Just no more hospitals.
No more treatments. No more.
It is enough, Hilary.
Ten years is enough.
That's no life.
I need a life.
I have a life with you.
- If you love me, you'll help me.
- Do what?
Let it happen. Just let it happen.
- Let you die?
- No.
- You want me to help you... let you die?
- No. No.
When did you decide? You don't ask me
or anything. You just decided?
And then you want me to say...
You want me... you want me
to tell you I love you?
Then you can say "Great. Well, now
I'm gonna die and I'm gonna leave you. "
- Hilary...
- And you let me believe that we had...
That I was part of something real
for the first time in my life.
- And the whole goddamn thing was a lie.
- No, Hilary, I believed it too.
I thought that this time
I wouldn't get sick again.
- I thought... I thought you could...
- What? That I could what?
Do you have any idea
of what it's like for me here?
You know, every day, every fuckin' day
I wake up to see if you're still alive.
I watch to see if you eat, to see if you shit.
And you knew that you were getting sick
again the whole time and you didn't tell me.
How was I supposed to know?
Because I'm not a nurse.
I'm not a fuckin' nurse.
You think I don't feel something because I'm
stupid? Fuck you, because I feel something!
I feel everything and I can't watch you die!
- Hello.
- M... Mr Geddes.
- This is Hilary O'Neil. I'm your son's...
- I know exactly who you are, Miss O'Neil.
And I must tell you that
if my son is in any danger...
He is. That's why I'm calling.
He's very sick and you need
to come get him now.
Yes, all right. Where?
- Where is he?
- He's, um...
Miss O'Neil.
- Please.
- 3 Main Street, Mendocino.
OK. OK, OK, you did the right thing.
Oh, Victor. Shit.
OK, OK.
Victor, Victor...
I had the police looking for you.
I hired two detectives to look for you.
I just don't understand why you would...
I don't know why you'd sneak away like that.
- Do you hate me that much?
- No.
No.
You're my father.
I love you.
But I am not a boy any more. And I just
wanted to be alone with Hilary, that's all.
All right. Yes.
But when you're through with the treatment.
Victor, how could you
walk away in the middle of it?
I wanted her to see me with hair.
So why didn't you tell me that?
You think I wouldn't understand?
Would you have let me go?
No. Victor, believe me... believe me, please.
I would love to hide away here too, with
a beautiful girl. It's the enchanted cottage.
- It was.
- But I'm taking you back to the hospital now.
OK.
OK, but tomorrow.
I'll go back with you tomorrow.
- Victor, listen to me.
- There's a party tonight.
I have to see her one last time.
I have to.
Please.
All right.
Somebody dropped something over there.
Sylvia, bring that stuff over there.
I'm sorry I can't come
to your party tonight, Estelle.
Victor is very sick and I had to
call his father to come get him.
I know.
Victor called. He and his father
are coming tonight.
You know, people think it's funny
that I buried three husbands.
It's ajoke around here.
I don't know why.
It isn't funny at all watching
someone you love get sick, is it?
I don't give advice, love.
But if I were you
I'd be at the party tonight.
Merry Christmas.
- Hello. I'm Victor's father.
- Hi. Gordon. Nice to meet you.
Thank you, Miss O'Neil.
You saved his life.
- Is he here?
- Yes.
Well, he was standing
over there a second ago.
You wanna dance? Let's dance.
- No, I don't think I...
- Come on, let's dance.
What's the matter?
- Um... I'll be back.
- Hilary...
Victor.
I'm sorry. I had to call your father.
- I'm going back with him.
- To the hospital?
- Yes.
- Good.
They'll take care of you there.
Tell Gordon he'd better
damn well take care of you.
No, it's not like that.
I'll be going back to Oakland soon and...
and I'll visit you, if that's OK.
I think we should just...
Goodbye.
- Well, I remember them.
- They've moved into the area.
And I'm sure they'd love to see you.
Why don't you stop in?
- Well, the next time I'm here, I'll do that.
- Mr Geddes.
- Hello.
- I thought Victor was going back with you.
He is. Tomorrow.
He wanted to spend the night alone.
Now, don't worry. He's safe now.
He said he'd call me in the morning.
Merry Christmas, Miss O'Neil.
Excuse me.
- You're running away?
- Jesus!
I thought that was my trick.
No more tricks, Hilary.
And no more hospitals.
I don't wanna hurt you any more.
I never... I never wanted to hurt you.
You know, you are the first person in ten
years that made me forget that I was sick.
I just wanted to stay here with you.
- To make love with you.
- Then where are you going?
You gonna hide somewhere until you die?
I can't let you do that, Victor.
I can't let you give up.
- I gave up when you left me.
- No, you didn't. You gave up before I left.
Hilary...
- I don't wanna be sick any more.
- I know.
- That's why I want you to come with me.
- I can't. I can't.
- I'll drive you to the hospital. I'll carry you.
- I can't do it. I cannot do it. I can't do it.
- Tell me why.
- Because.
- Because I am afraid.
- Afraid of what?
Of hoping.
It hurts to be around you, Hilary, because...
you make me want to live so much.
Then live, Victor. You don't know
what's gonna happen.
You don't know when
you're gonna die. Nobody does.
But we have right now.
So fight, Victor. Live with me.
- Live with me.
- I can't do that.
Look at you.
You are so... young,
and so beautiful and smart.
You can do anything, Hilary.
- Why do you wanna do this?
- Because I love you.
If you come back with me
to the hospital and fight for us,
if you fight for us,
I will never leave you, Victor.
But you have to fight, and, if you get well,
when you get well, I'll be there with you.
And if you... if you die, I'll hold your hand.
I'll hold your hand.
And the last thing you ever see
will be me, because I love you.
I do.
I love you.