Good morning, sir. Same to you.
Well, well, well, well!
Oh, I beg your pardon, sir.
Good morning, sir.
Good morning.
Good morning, sir.
Good morning.
Good morning, sir.
Oh! You shouldn't have
black cats in the house!
It's bad luck!
Oh, sir,
your trousers!
I see you're down early for
breakfast this morning, sir.
Give me your hand!
Graves! Graves, where are you? Come here.
Coming, Mr. Ball.
What's the matter
with the old garbage can?
Somebody stole it,
Mr. Ball.
Oh, nothing is safe!
I thought I just bought you a
new car a couple of months ago.
Well, I turned it in as a
down payment on the Lugatti
and they're getting
kind of restless.
Tell the chef the world isn't made of butter.
You mean to tell me you
turned in a perfectly good,
free and clear paid-up American
car for a foreign jalopy?
Tell him to try lard.
Oh, but, Mr. Ball,
the chef says that...
That's all right
what the chef says!
Tell him he can fry an egg
very nicely in lard.
Tell him I said so.
I told you 9,000 times, never
to buy anything on time payments!
Even a... Even a cat
should understand that!
Certainly should.
I'll tell you why. How much
did you pay for the car?
$11,000.
So you paid $11,000
for a secondhand Spagotti.
Now, wait a minute!
I've waited for 20 years to find out
that I was the father of a butterfly.
A muttonhead!
Well, I think you're being
slightly offensive, Father.
Oh, you think I'm offensive, do you?
Well, let me
tell you something!
If anybody called me
a loafer and a parlor snake,
I'd knock their block off, even
if it was my own grandfather!
Well, we don't do that to
our grandfathers these days!
Take it away!
What your grandfather would have
done to you is nobody's business!
I remember when
I was about your age.
I was out
all night playing, see?
And when I...
Well, I'll put $1,000
to your account in the bank.
Don't bother.
Huh?
I said don't bother!
I'm very grateful for the room
and board, but not at these prices!
The cooking isn't
good enough!
The cooking isn't good enough! No.
Graves, where are you!
Come here!
The cooking isn't
good enough!
And I'll tell you something
else that isn't good enough.
It's being a banker's son.
Everybody thinking you're a fool who
couldn't make a nickel on his own!
A nincompoop living
on his father's charity!
Oh, pooh!
I was a banker's son
and up until
I was 26 years old
I was just as dumb
as you are.
Yes, indeed, sir.
But after a while all the fat
fell off my brains and I...
Say, how old are you?
Old enough to earn
a very good living
without any help from you
or your sneering friends.
And if any of my sneering
friends ever gave you a job,
I'd have their head examined!
That's what you think.
I'm gonna make you eat those
words. That's all you'll be eating.
Possibly!
Probably!
Right! Yeah!
Right! Yeah!
Yeah!
Yes, sir.
Here. You'd better
take this with...
Uh... What is this?
Madam told me
to give it to you, sir.
Jenny! Jenny,
where are you?
Oh! Hiding, huh?
I am not hiding.
What do you mean by buying another fur coat?
You want me to
look nice, don't you?
After all, the wife of
the fourth biggest banker...
I beg your pardon!
The third biggest banker!
Well, the third
biggest banker.
Yes, and you know well enough
I'm the third biggest banker!
What's the matter with the
other fur coats you've got?
Why, I haven't any to speak of,
and besides, they're out of style.
Out of... How can
a fur coat get out of style?
A skunk smells the same
today as he did in 1906.
Now, where is it?
I won't tell you!
Jenny, you're being
very childish in this matter.
All I've got to do
is open these doors.
Here! Wait a minute!
Holy smoke!
Well, what about this one?
What about...
What about this one?
That... That...
That's kolinsky.
Oh! Well, I guess
you've got me, Jenny.
You're not as smart
as people think you are.
Oh, that's right,
that's right.
I think I'll take this
kolinsky for a consolation.
You give me that coat!
Now, now, wait a minute!
Wait a minute!
Here!
Jenny! Bring that
coat back!
Jenny!
Jenny!
Open this door!
Jenny, give me that...
Give me that coat or I...
Open this...
You're making yourself very
ridiculous. Now, open the door!
Jenny!
Oh, nobody thinks
of my blood pressure at all!
Jenny!
Good morning, sir.
Good morning, Joseph, Justin
or whatever your name is!
I beg your pardon, Martin.
Yes, madam.
Thank you.
Jenny! Can I speak with
you a moment, my love?
Jenny! Pardon me,
Martin. Jenny!
Just a minute,
my dear!
Jenny, come down... Oh, throwing
things again, huh? Jenny!
Jenny! Jenny!
Oh, it's you.
Did you see Mrs. Ball up here? No. No, sir!
Did she tell you
to say that?
Yes, sir. But...
But I... I mean...
You mean... I know
what you mean.
Jenny!
Now that you've made us
both look ridiculous...
But I tell you Mr. Zickel won't
take it back! He told me so.
They were especially
grown in Russia.
Give it to me!
Juny, you can't get
your money back!
You'll have to pay for it!
There simply isn't a thing.
Hand it over!
Hand it over!
Well, now that you've got it, what
are you going to do with it, eat it?
I'll show you
what I'll do with it!
Say, what's the big idea, anyway?
Kismet!
Watch your step,
please.
Oh.
Pleasant day, sir. You think so?
Listen to me, you!
What?
Do you want me to fry in
lard? Well, what about it?
Go and fry yourself in lard,
you dirty capitalist!
Why, you...
"Fry yourself in lard!"
Did you drop
a fur coat?
No, miss.
Not here.
Oh. Thank you.
Where did you find it?
Find what? How do I know it's yours?
Well, look at the label and see if it
doesn't say A.B. Zickel and Company.
You work for a living?
Yes, that's right, all right.
What? Why, of course I do.
Why... Why, I don't see
what business that is of...
Say, look what you
did to my hat.
Do you own
a fur coat?
No, I don't,
but I still don't...
That's where
you're wrong!
You own that one.
Happy birthday.
Now, just a minute,
Santa Claus!
Huh?
What's the matter with it?
Is it hot?
I don't know.
I've never worn one.
What kind of fur is it,
anyway?
Zebra. Anything else
you want to know?
Yes! I'd like to know
how you get...
Let me give you a piece
of advice, young lady.
Don't be too wise. Don't
think you know all the answers.
Things have been done
for people, many nice things!
Remember that.
Well, what do you want?
Uh...
Say, could you
lend me 10 cents?
Lend you...
Of course I can.
It's pay day and I forgot when I got
off that it was my last dime and I...
Well, of course,
if you're short...
Of course I'm not short. Don't be
silly... You mean to take a bus?
Well, what's the matter
with this bus?
Oh, no.
Oh, hop in! Hop in!
The Boys' what?
The Boys' Constant Companion.
Very well, madam.
It's a magazine for boys.
Yeah? I never heard of it.
We have over
a million readers.
Well, you haven't got me.
Stop at a hat shop.
Yes, sir.
Oh, no, really.
You mustn't. No, that...
That's terribly sweet of you
but I haven't got time,
and anyway, my goodness, this coat...
Well, if I can keep waiting
what's waiting for me,
I guess The Boys' Constant Reminder
can wait a few minutes also.
Companion. Boys' Constant
Companion. All right. Companion.
Yeah. You know, I was
going to buy a fur coat.
You can get them for $2 a week
and one percent on the balance.
One percent a month?
Yes. Isn't it wonderful
how they can do it
for so little?
So little? That's 25/ a year. Yeah.
No. One percent
a month is 12/ a year.
You, of course,
don't know who I am,
but I'm very good
at computing interest.
Well, I'm sure you are, but having
passed through high school myself,
I think I can safely say that
one percent a month is 12/...
Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute!
You owe $100,
you're paying off at the
rate of $2 a week or $8...
66 and two-thirds
cents a month.
You mean $8
a month.
There are four weeks
in a month, you know.
I beg your pardon,
madam!
There are four and
one-third weeks in a month,
otherwise we'd only have
48 weeks in a year!
You mean leap year? No,
no, I don't mean leap year!
If I meant leap year
I would have said leap year!
At the end of six months
you would have paid $52...
But you're still paying...
Twelve percent.
At the end of 49 weeks you will
have paid everything but $2,
so you're paying 600/.
You know, you don't have to get
mad just because you're so stupid.
Don't talk to me like...
You don't seem to understand...
What do you mean I...
...that 12 times one
can't possibly be 600...
All right! All...
Twelve times one is 12!
All... All... All...
I don't want to be rude,
but I mean I should think a small child
would be able to understand that...
All right! Let's forget
all about it!
Right.
Right.
This isn't mink, is it?
Huh?
Of course it isn't.
That's Levinsky.
You mean kolinsky?
Why, you shouldn't be
giving away a real kolinsky...
I'll tell you. We'll look
at it another way now.
A farmer borrows 100 cows,
you understand?
He borrows 100 cows.
Now, how much
did the farmer pay?
Twelve cows!
Well, don't you like
this one, either?
I do not! It looks like a salt shaker!
Well, we think
it's very recherch.
Well, that's
the trouble with it!
Oh, what's this?
Uh-uh-uh.
We... We prefer to
handle these ourselves.
Uh-uh-uh, yourself!
Brute!
Try this.
Oh, fur!
Why, that's genuine sable.
Let's try it
with the coat.
Now you're talking!
Oh!
Oh, I haven't any
money with me, but...
Well, of course...
Here's my card.
And send me the bill.
Yes.
Come on.
Oh, will you put my old hat in a bag, please?
A bag?
Yeah.
Why, my dear, we'll send it to you
in a Rolls Royce! And the address?
Mary Smith,
725 West 112th Street.
Come on. I've got to get to work! A bag?
Goodbye!
Goodbye. Goodbye!
Goodbye!
Goodbye!
Did you get that coat?
My dear, you don't realize.
That was the Bull of Broad Street. A what?
The Bull!
The Bull!
Oh!
The Bull!
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
And keep the moths
out of Levinsky!
I will. I don't know
how to thank you, Mr... Mr...
You didn't tell me
your name!
Oh, excuse me!
I'm so sorry!
Good morning,
Miss Swerf.
Oh, I know I'm late,
but I'll stay and make it up.
Pretty, isn't it?
Good morning.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Good morning.
Hello.
Ladies and gentlemen,
please!
No, no, no, no! Ball!
J.B. Ball himself, in person!
The Bull of Broad Street!
With a girl! In the sablest
sable coat they ever sabled!
Well, wherever there's smoke
there must be somebody smoking!
Mary Smith! Now, don't
breathe a word of it to a soul,
not even a soupon!
Toodlee-oo.
You expect us to believe, Miss Smith,
that a complete stranger,
having dropped
a valuable mink coat...
Oh, it isn't mink!
It's kolinsky.
Mink or kolinsky,
whatever that is.
It's mink!
It is not mink!
Well, I ought to know mink! My
mother had a little tibbet...
It is not mink!
It does not really matter!
The thing that does matter is that
you expect us to believe that...
Well, I know
it's terribly unusual
and I suppose
if anybody told me that...
It's most unusual!
So unusual, in fact, that...
This is a boys' magazine,
you know!
Well, what about it?
The Boys' Constant Companion regrets
that it will no longer require your...
Now... No, wait a minute! Wait
a minute! Now, I'll tell you.
You see, I didn't want you to
know that I was so extravagant,
and I suppose it was awfully
foolish of me to try to tell you...
I'm no good at
making up stories at all,
but you see, I bought the
coat out of my own savings.
Yes, and I thought that
you'd think that I...
That... Well...
So... Well,
that's why I was late.
Where did you buy it?
Uh, Zickel's.
And how much
did you pay for it?
Oh.
Well, I don't see why I
should have to tell you...
That coat cost
$400 if it cost a...
It did not!
It cost $162.79.
Now we're
getting somewhere!
Give me Zickel's
Fur Store, please.
Well... I... I...
Oh, I don't know really
if it cost exactly $162.79.
You see,
it's the first fur coat
I ever bought
and I was excited...
Did you sell
a kolinsky this morning
for... Well, anybody is
liable to make a mistake.
...$162.79? They had loads of prices there...
You did not?
Nothing under 500?
Thank you very much indeed.
I believe that's all,
Miss Smith!
As I said before,
the ethical requirements of
the Boys' Constant
Companion are...
Well, it did hit me
on the head!
Just be careful you don't
get hit by a diamond bracelet.
He didn't tell me his name!
He gave me a hat!
Now, you feeble-minded
old fool!
Quick! Here she comes.
Well, I'm glad to hear
you're feeling better, John.
Thank you, sir.
Good morning.
Good morning. Good morning. Good morning.
Get Mrs. Ball for me.
Good morning. Pardon me.
Mr. Ball just arrived. He wants
to talk to Mrs. Ball on the phone.
How's your wife this morning,
Graves? Very good, sir.
And how's that new baby coming
along? Good morning, Mr. Ball.
Good morning. Having a
little misery this morning...
Oh, that's too bad.
Here are these Consolidated
bonds you asked for.
What did you say
about Mrs. Ball?
I said Mrs. Ball has already left
the house. She's gone to Florida.
She says you don't need
fur coats in Florida.
She said all you need in Florida
is a bathing suit and an amiable...
All right, all right!
Anybody waiting for me?
Mr. Louis is waiting, Mr. Ball.
At 11:30 you have a meeting with...
Mr. Who? Mr. Louis Louis.
You know, Hotel Louis.
At 11:00 you have a meeting
with the Consolidated...
Oh, he is, is he?
Well, send him right in!
At 11:00 you have a meeting
with the Consolidated National.
At 12:00 the delegation
from Peru,
12:30, lunch at the Bankers'
Club with Mr. Van Astorbilt.
Very important.
All right, all right!
Don't forget
to be back here at 2:30.
Mr. Louis!
Yes, yes, yes!
You may go in now.
No, no, no. Just a minute, just a minute!
Ah!
Rabbit's feets!
Mr. Louis, Mr. Ball.
Thank you.
Take your hat off!
Oh, excuse me.
Well, Mr. B., the bonds
are due today, so here I am.
Johnny-on-the-spots!
That's fine.
But you don't
have to bother me.
Go downstairs to the window
marked "Loans. " The big window.
Mr. B! You and I
just get along like this!
Just like Mike and Ike! Did
you come here to pay, or what?
Yes. I come here
to pay my respects,
because in the whole world
of financials...
Listen, you! You're three years
behind on your first mortgage,
two years behind on your second,
and one year behind on your third.
Mr. B., what do I know
about such things?
The Hotel Louis must succeed
because it is the best!
Excuse me. Now, think! Think
of my Roast Veal a la J.B. Ball!
Yeah! Yeah! Everybody knows you're
the finest cook in the world!
But you don't know
anything about business.
Now you get back into that kitchen
where you belong, you'd be better off.
Now you're foreclosed!
I'm doing you a favor.
Oh, Mr. B., please!
Give me six months.
Oh, not on your tintype!
Well, just give me six weeks.
I'll give you a week.
What can I do in a week? All
right, I won't give you a week!
All right, I'll take a week!
Bye-bye. I must go. I'm in a hurry.
What are you going to do?
Well, I don't know,
but I got a week
to do it in!
Down. Oh, excuse, please.
How can such a phenonument be a flop?
Louis.
Louis.
You might... This might be a
little bit more comfortable. I'll...
Pardon me. Louis.
Louis, Louis.
What is it? What is it?
Louis, who do you suppose
was in my salon this morning?
What I suppose was in your salon? Yeah.
What I need is
something in my salon,
something like a...
Like a convention, and quick.
You'll never guess.
All right, all right.
I'll play a riddle
with you. Who?
The Bull of Broad Street.
Who?
The Bull of Broad Street.
With a chicken. Chickens,
bulls, what do I care?
You don't mean
the Ball of Bull Street?
That's just what I'm trying
to tell you. With a twoip?
With a dancing partner.
You got the dope? The dame's name?
The hangout? Etcetera, etcetera?
I have, but I haven't the slightest
idea of parting with a scrap of it.
Mr. Van Burens. With a
little corruption from you,
the curfew shall not rang next
week. Thank you, thank you.
Sorry, Wafford.
I'm sorry, sir.
How many times
I told you not to creep?
There's a Miss Smith
to see you, Mr. Louis.
What? What?
Why don't you say so?
Get out of my way.
Yes, sir.
Where is my coat tail?
Here.
Boy.
Get me a flower.
Yes, sir.
How can you think of girls
at a time like this?
Girls, girls, girls.
She's the girlfriend
of our first, second
and third mortgage.
What's the matter with you?
She's got to live here. With
little Smithy in the house,
not even a monster
can foreclose.
What's the matter with you?
You think I'm a stiff?
Yeah. No, sir.
Put it back in the icebox.
Yes, sir.
Meet me, Gurney. This is
the last cheese in the trap.
Miss Smith?
Yes.
A pleasure. Sit down, sit down.
Oh, excuse me my liberty of
sending you, myself, a telegram.
You look exactly as I thought,
only 100/ much better.
Well, thank you
very much.
I don't know how you
ever heard of me,
but I'm sure we'd
get along all right.
Miss Smith,
I am a man like this.
I don't beat around the bush
to come in the back door.
I tell you,
this is where you belong
and this is where
you got to be.
Well, I'm perfectly willing.
I don't ask very much and...
Until you have lived
in the Hotel Louis,
you ain't.
I have to live here? I
insist. Please do me a favor.
And now, take a peek, huh?
At what?
This way. I'll show you.
This way. After you.
This way, please.
This way.
The Imperial Soots.
Yes, sir.
Excuse me,
please.
First reception rooms.
Nice, eh?
Second reception room.
The kitchen.
For hanging pictures.
Very handy.
Excuse, please.
Third reception room.
Excuse me.
Main saloon.
Fireplace.
It makes it more homey.
Piano.
You tickle the ivories?
Oh, I... I...
Aye-aye-aye!
La-la-la-la.
It needs tuning.
Some joint, huh?
Yeah.
For everything you wish,
we anticipate.
Even before you think.
Now, look. Service. Mmm.
There.
New. Everything new.
Excuse. This way.
Four reception room.
Kitchen.
I knew it was hanging around here someplace.
Gas box.
What?
They tell me it works with
gas, but I don't believe it.
First bedroom.
Hotsie, eh?
There. Yes. Invisibles.
Fifth reception room.
Undressing room.
Ah!
Two-way mirrors.
Every other hotel
has got three.
Wait.
Plunge.
What's it for?
For wash.
Golly.
Gymnasium.
Well, what's that?
A horse.
A horse?
Mmm-hmm.
Excuse, please.
We're getting some fun.
Nice fellow.
Yeah.
Excuse, please.
Now, last, but not least... Excuse. Now.
Your bedroom.
My bedroom?
Nice place to flop, huh?
Couldn't you be
cozies here?
Well, yes, it's cozy,
all right, but...
But I don't think
I understand.
How much would
you pay me?
How much would
I pay you? For what?
Well, for,
for whatever it is?
Don't you think you should pay
me a little bit of somethings?
For what?
"For what"?
For what I just show you. The dining
room, the kitchen, the bedroom,
the... The horse.
Wait a minute.
Wait a minute.
Are you trying to rent me
this little number?
Exacts.
Is that why you sent for me? Certainly.
I think you've got
the wrong Smith.
You think so?
I'm sure of it.
Just a minutes,
just a minutes.
Mary Smith?
Yeah.
West 112th Street?
Yes.
You bought a hat
this morning?
Yes.
Oh, you're the right Smith.
But how did you know?
This is where you belong.
A beautiful young girl like you
has got to have a background.
This is what you call
a background.
I should say it is.
No matter where you look,
you'll never find another
background goes so far back.
You're right, Mr. Louis, but
look, I couldn't afford even the...
I couldn't afford
any of it.
Just a minutes,
just a minutes.
That's what you think,
my dear young lady.
But I'll tell you
something confidentials.
The management will make
some concessions.
That's awfully sweet
of you, Mr. Louis,
but even if you... We'll
meet you more than halfway.
Look, even if you
came the whole way,
it wouldn't make...
But, listen, listen, listen.
What are you paying now?
$7.
No, no, no, I said what are you paying now?
I mean rent, rent.
$7.
$7. Seven...
One, two, three,
four, five, six, seven?
Yes, with breakfast. One egg. Let me see. $7.
Seven times seven,
56. Minus...
My dear young lady,
could you make it...
Not seven times
seven, Mr. Louis.
One times seven. $7 a week. A week?
With breakfast.
One egg.
$7 a week with a gymnasium.
You're driving a hard bargain,
my dear young lady.
$7 a week.
But, Mr. Louis, I don't...
It is yours.
But I don't want...
It is yours.
You want breakfast?
You got it.
But, look, I wouldn't...
I... I want you here.
One egg, two eggs,
three eggs. Ostrich eggs.
What do I care? I'll send a
truck and move you immediates.
You can't.
I owe for the week.
Well, well, well,
we'll pay it.
Why? Why? Why?
Why? I'll tell you why.
I don't beat around the back door
to come down in the coal chutes.
Come here, please.
Come here. Look.
You see them lights going on and off? Yes.
That's bellboys. They switch the
switches, so the people don't know
that my hotel is a fizzle. Now, that's
of course strictly confidentials.
Oh, what a shame,
Mr. Louis,
I'm so sorry.
But with you here,
anyway I have some legitimate
lights in my towers.
Oh, I see what you mean. You can
do also me a little favor, too.
What? The next time you see Mr. Ball...
Mr. Who?
Oh, I'm sorry.
I... I shouldn't have
mentioned names.
The next time you see that
certain party without the name,
will you tell him what a
beautiful layout we have here,
what a beautiful, classy
service we have here?
Will you tell him,
that under no circumstances,
you will not move?
Tell who?
That certain party, you know... Where?
Wherever it does
the most good.
Oh, you mean you want me
to boost your hotel?
That's the exact word. I could
not have said that in 10 years.
Boost it in
the right place and soon.
Well, I'll do my best,
Mr. Louis.
And loud.
Yeah, and loud.
And how.
Yeah, and how.
Golly.
Thank you.
If I hadn't seen it,
I wouldn't have believed it.
I've seen a lot of things today,
I never would have believed.
Yeah.
Haven't I seen you somewhere?
I don't think so.
I didn't get to the Waiters'
Ball this year. Oh, neither did I.
Were you at
the Junior League dance?
Were you at Mrs. Astor's on Thursday?
No, I couldn't get away in time. Oh, too bad.
It couldn't have been nicer.
Really?
Were you in
Palm Beach in February?
Were you in
St. Moritz, Christmas?
No, I couldn't
make that, either.
Well, I couldn't make it,
either. So I guess we haven't met.
By the way, I hear the
beefsteak pie is magnificent.
Six nickels. And with three nickels
more you can get a grapefruit...
Oh, shut up.
I'm sorry.
I thought part of my job
would be to suggest things.
Yes, well, if you can suggest
where to get the nine nickels,
I might take
your suggestion.
Otherwise, don't go around
putting ideas into people's mouths.
I'm sorry.
What's the matter?
Haven't you any...
Listen.
You again.
You go over to that Hot Dish
window... Hotchkiss window?
What's the matter? You got
something wrong with your teeth?
I said, "Hot dish window,"
smartie.
You go over there and pick
out what you like, see,
and I'll go in back and work
the gag. I'm allowed in the back.
Say, what are you trying to
do? Land us all in the jug?
I'll put the nickels in when I get
paid and you can pay me back sometime.
I'm not that hungry.
Don't be a sucker, sister.
That beef pie is a wow.
Suppose they see you?
Well, I'll say the gag was stuck. Now, go on.
I'll meet you behind the
grapefruit. No, no. Wait, wait.
Is everything all right?
Everything's hunky-dory.
I'll see you at
the beef pies.
The door stuck.
I mean,
the gag isn't working. Neither
are you, buddy. Come on.
Now, listen. Don't start
pushing me around.
Now, don't get hard.
I'm not as soft as I look.
Oh, you think so?
I think so.
Hey. Food. Food.
Come on, folks.
Right here, for food.
All free food.
Let's go.
Hey, wait a minute.
That's my food.
I just put that there.
Hey, listen,
that's mine.
Hire a hall.
It's mine.
Come on.
You mean... You mean,
you... You lost your job?
Well, there wasn't any...
There wasn't any
future to it, anyway.
Slave for 20 years
and you're...
You're still behind
the nut salad.
I know, but that's awful.
That's... That's terrible.
Have you got any money saved up? Money?
No.
Now, you see?
When you're working you
ought to save your money,
and then when you're
resting you can eat.
Mmm-hmm. Like you.
No, not like me.
But when you're hungry, no busboy is
going to lose his job trying to feed you.
Yes, there's
something in that.
More than
meets the eye.
Have you got
a place to sleep?
Oh, sure, sure.
Where?
...Park Avenue.
What?
...Park Avenue.
Huh. In the park.
Mmm-hmm. In the park. Well, supposing
a guy does go in the park and...
Well, I think you'd better come up
to the Louis and we'll talk it over.
The Louis? Okay.
You live at the Louis?
Sure.
Then what were you doing
in the Automat? Eating.
Oh.
Kitchings.
Wait a minute.
Just why did he want you to live here?
He said the lights in his tower were
illegal and if I came and lived here
it would be all right
or something or other.
I didn't really know
what he meant.
Gas box.
A what?
It runs by gas,
but we don't believe it.
First bedroom.
Hotsies, eh?
Are you sure he didn't say
anything else?
He said I should put in a good word
for the place with anybody I met
and you're the first person I
met, so I brought you right over.
Look. Invisibles.
Glass to you.
Fifth, uh... You know,
he did say something about
telling somebody
something or other,
but then he said
he shouldn't mention names,
and he was sorry or something, I don't know.
Who?
Mr. Louis. You know,
I think the guy's crazy.
No, no, no, no, no.
What name did he mention and then
say that you shouldn't mention?
Well, he said, "Bull. "
Bull.
Yeah.
That's funny.
My name's Ball.
That's funnier still.
What?
That was it.
That was what?
That was the name he said.
Ball?
Yes.
To bed so early, sir?
Well, what is it to you?
There's nothing like it,
sir, for a dull night.
Will that be all, sir?
What did she take with her?
Twelve trunks, sir,
17 suitcases,
three jewel boxes,
oh and an umbrella, sir.
Why an umbrella
in Florida?
Well, we thought it ill-advised,
sir. Would that be all, sir?
My son come in yet?
Not yet, sir.
What did he take with him? He
took nothing, sir, nothing at all.
Fathead.
Sir.
I said my son
was a fathead.
Indeed, sir?
It had escaped us, sir.
Will that be all, sir?
No, sir... I mean, yes.
Pack me a bag and take it down to the
club. This place is getting clammy.
Yes, sir. No. Wait a
minute. I've changed my mind.
The club is deader than this
is. Take the bag to the Ritz.
Very good, sir. No, no.
Wait a minute. Wait, wait.
You better take it to the
Hotel Louis. Certainly, sir.
The Hotel Louis, you know?
Yes, sir.
Louis will drop dead.
Find anything?
Nope.
Well, he said
it was to wash in,
but I don't know
what you'd wash in it.
An elephant.
Doesn't she look silly standing up
there with her hands sticking out?
I guess she doesn't know,
either. Doesn't know what?
What it's for.
What are you doing?
Well, I thought for a moment that this
might have something to do with it.
Turn it off.
It's cold.
Turn it off.
Elephants, huh?
Well.
What's that?
A buzzer.
Oh, oh...
They mustn't find you here.
Hide someplace. Hide.
I... I can't get out.
Oh.
Oh, don't be frightened, Miss Smith,
it's only me. Just take the fan.
Oh! Oh, hello.
Hello.
Now, just pour yourself into
these, dear, and fall in a faint.
My dear, I want you
to try these on,
without any
obligation whatsoever.
After all, you know, you're
practically my discovery.
All right.
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
Bye-bye.
You know, there's something
awfully phony about this.
Are you just beginning
to find that out?
What do you mean you won't publish
it in your column, Mr. Wallace?
In the second place it is the truth
and in the third place she lives here
right here in the Hotel Louis,
the roundabouts of the bong tong.
I don't know who
you've got living here,
but I tell you the old man
don't buy fur coats for dames.
If anybody knew, it would be me, wouldn't it?
I'm telling you, she is,
he does, but you don't.
I don't what?
You don't know
what's going on
in New York.
I don't know what's going on in
New York. You just ain't up to date.
I just ain't up to...
You just lost a grips.
Listen, you greasy little
hamburger... Hamburger.
Mr. Ball's
at the desk, Mr. Louis.
Mr. B...
Yes.
How long does it take
to get a room in this shebang?
Oh, Mr. B. You are a sight for eyesore.
Huh?
I want a room with a bath.
A room with a bath.
Now, let me see. The Imperial
Soot is already occupied.
Give me the key of the
Royal. I don't want the Royal.
I want a room with a bath.
All right.
Give me the key
of the Prince of Pilsen Soot.
I don't want the Prince's
Soot. I want a room with a bath.
But a room with a bath
cannot be up in the tower...
Well, what do I want to be
in the tower for?
You don't mean to tell me you don't
want to be near the Imperial Soots?
What for?
Give me a plain double room.
With a bath.
Naturally, with a bath. You don't
think we use the rain barrel, do you?
Excuse me.
Just a jokes.
After you, Mr. B.
It is an unexpected pleasure
to have you here, Mr. B.
I just moved in
for the funeral.
Yes, but it's the last corpse
who laughs the longest.
Mr. Louis, I was just
looking for you.
What?
Oh, hello. Hello,
Santa Claus.
How do you do?
How are you getting along?
All right.
You know each other, eh?
Well, well, well. Yes.
You live here?
Yes.
Yes, I do. Mr. Louis made
me a very special rate.
With breakfast.
Yes, one egg.
That's what I want to
talk to you about, Mr. Louis.
I was wondering if I could have the
egg now instead of in the morning?
You mean now?
Yes.
Don't you think supper'd
be a better idea?
I don't think
I'm entitled to supper.
Entitled.
Is she entitled.
You name it and we'll
wrestle her up quick.
Ernest. Ernest.
Take an order. Now.
Now, I should think you should
have... You should have now, here now,
a little snack of Lobster
Financier? No, no, no. Not at all.
Have you any guinea hen?
Yes.
Breast of guinea hen on
Westphalian ham. Guinea hen.
What I am thinking about. Naturally.
And a little salad
with orange and avocado.
No, no, endive
and beetroot.
And don't forget the
truffles with the guinea hen.
Endive and beetroots? Yes, that's
right, but may I make a suggestion?
A little bottle of 1923 Mums,
don't you think?
No, I do not. I think she
should have George Goulet, 1919.
With guinea hen? Mmm.
You heard me.
And a bomb surprise
for the end.
You are good
and hungry now, yes?
Yes, yes, I am.
Now, Ernest, serve for two
up in the Imperial Soots...
And make it snappy.
Yes, sir.
Please. Take care of it.
Ninth floor. Yes, sir.
Hello. City Desk.
Kill that Leisendorf blessed
event and lead off with,
"What leading
international financier... "
Make that "Flash.
What leading international
"financier has gone pfoof
with his wife
"over a beautiful gal
at the Hotel Louis?"
Take the lady to the
Imperial Soots. Yes, sir.
What was that
young lady's name?
What's the young lady's... Mary Smith.
Smith?
Mmm. Exacts.
I thought it was Jones.
What a diplomat.
That's one of the finest
suppers I ever supped.
No, that's not right.
Yes, it is, too. Supped.
It's just like Arabian Nights or something,
except you don't look
much like Prince Charming.
You know, we used to have a chef years ago
that could fix guinea hen just like that.
That's one of my father's
favorite dishes. Poor old father.
Say, he must have been
pretty rich at one time.
Who?
Your father.
I mean, to have a chef and all like that. Oh.
Oh, yes.
Has he been dead long?
Who, the chef? No.
I think he went back to
Bulgaria or Romania or someplace.
No, no.
I mean your father.
Did I say
he was dead?
Well... Well, you said,
"Poor old father. "
Well, you don't have to be
dead to be "poor old father. "
You don't even
have to be poor.
I suppose you don't have to be
old, either. Not so terribly.
Well, I wouldn't
go around saying,
"Poor old father" and squeezing
sympathy out of people.
I wasn't trying
to squeeze any sympathy.
I should think a fellow has a right
to think of his folks once in a while,
so when I said,
"Poor old father... "
What are you
going to look for?
I said, when I said,
"Poor old father... "
In the morning,
what kind of a job?
Oh.
Oh, I don't know.
What do you suggest?
Well, I'd... I'd aim
a little higher, I think.
It wouldn't do
any harm, you know.
Can't you do anything
besides wait on table?
I can't even
wait on table.
All I know is how to take the dishes off.
Didn't you study
to be anything?
Anything like what?
Like a... Like a dentist or something.
Mmm-mmm.
Well, how did you expect to while
away the hours after you grew up?
I didn't have to
study to do that.
In training I have whiled away
an hour in 26 minutes flat.
Of course, I always had a dream that one
day I'd be able to do it in 25, but...
I remember there was a fellow
in college called Underdunk
who had the longest legs...
Oh, shut up.
Come to think of it, it wasn't
Underdunk, it was Overdunk.
You know, I'm awfully glad
you came into the Automat.
So am I.
Good night.
Good night.
Say...
"What leading
international financier
"has gone pfoof with his wife
over a beautiful girl,
"and followed her over
to the Hotel Louis?"
Ah!
Many things are clear today
which previously were murky.
Over to where?
I said, over to
the Hotel Louis.
It's simply swarming
with bankers.
What's the matter with this
hotel? It isn't fashionable, dear.
You will notice when J.B. Ball wants
to peccadillo, he doesn't pick it here,
he goes over to
the Hotel Louis.
Hello. Hello. Hello.
Hello, Hello.
Hello. Yes,
this is me.
This is the V-16
Company of America.
You want to what?
Did I ever what?
Oh, no. Of course I've never driven
one. No. No, we had a Saxon. Yes.
Yes. Well, I suppose
they are different.
Well, what do you want to
do that for? Oh, well...
I'll take your word for it.
Yes. But, look, even if I did
want it, what would I use for...
Oh, but, mister, you...
Look, please,
you don't...
Yeah, I know,
but I... Yeah.
Well, all right.
All right.
Yes, you can put two chauffeurs
in it if it'll make you happy.
Pink. Well...
Well, any color you like.
All right, all right. Goodbye.
Yes? Yes,
this is Miss Smith.
Well... Well, just fine.
How did you sleep? Who?
Well, you'll have to say it again...
Cart what? Oh, Corray. Yes. Yes.
Yeah, I got it.
Yeah. Yeah, but...
No, no, I haven't
any of those. I'm sorry.
You make... You make what? Yes. Well,
that's wonderful. That's, that's lovely,
but I don't want
any jewelry. No. No.
Wait a minute.
Yes? Yes. Yes, this is me.
Please. Please don't do that.
How do you know I'm honest?
Maybe I'll run away with them.
No, I don't want a...
I've already got a fur coat.
Look, Mr...
Mr. Corray, look.
You see, I just got up and
I'd like to take a bath. Yes.
I said I want to
take a bath.
Look, if you'll just give me
a chance to wake up.
I said I want to
brush my teeth.
All right. All right.
Oh! All right!
Oh!
Good morning. Good morning. Good morning.
Good morning. All for you. Oh, good morning.
All for you.
All for you.
Answer the phone,
will you, please?
Hello.
This is the Smith residence.
Tell him I'm
canning some fruit.
The missus... I mean,
the miss has gone hunting.
No, the hunting with hounds on
a horse. I beg your pardon? No.
I said an horse,
an equine. You know...
What do you mean,
how big a suites?
She gets what we give.
Hello. No, no, no.
We don't give any informations
from the customers.
What kind of a dump
do you think this is?
Mary Smith.
Here, here. When a man takes
the trouble to come here...
Please, please,
please, please.
Hello. Hello. Hello.
Hello, is this you, Louis?
This is Mrs. J.B. Ball.
I want some information.
I'm sorry, madam, but I
think you got the wrong Louis.
Did you have a pleasant night, Mr. Ball?
Mr. B., good morning. I want... Good morning.
That certain party call up
but I give her the bum steers.
What?
The storm and strifes.
She just give me a buzz, but
I got her entirely mystified.
Well, you've got me
entirely mystified, too.
"Cocktail waitress,
$12 and tips. " Oh.
Oh. "Must have curves. "
Well, you've got them,
haven't you?
Oh, thank you, Johnny.
"Let us teach you
tattooing. " No.
Say, here's one I can do.
Listen to this.
"Are you worried? Take your troubles
to the Professional Listener.
"$1.50 an hour. "
What?
There it is right there
in black and white.
That's better than
the Automat.
Well, I don't know, Johnny. I don't
think you'd make a very good listener.
Well, there must be something for
somebody that can't do anything.
Well, look here. "Attractive
widow with small capital
"would like to meet gentleman
with sense of humor. " How's that?
I guess I'm kind of
dumb, at that.
Oh, no, you're not. You're just a
little underdeveloped, that's all.
I beg your pardon.
Oh.
Well, it's only temporary,
you know.
It's just that some people develop
sooner than others, that's all...
But when those others
are developed,
why, they're just as well developed
as the others, you see what I mean?
It's like now, you...
You take a chicken.
Well, a chicken reaches
maturity at...
Well, whenever it is, but
on the other hand, a horse...
Oh, a horse takes
much longer.
You think I'm
the horse type?
You know, I think I'm kind
of dumb sometimes myself.
You're awfully sweet.
Do you think so, Johnny?
Yes.
No, no. You... You finish
your breakfast. I'll go.
Ah, Miss Smith,
E. J. Hulgar and Company,
stock brokers.
All principal cities.
What?
I want to make you some money
and the best way is in steel. Is it going
up or down, that's all we have to know.
I'd like to make you
a lot of money.
Well, look,
that's wonderful.
Go right ahead.
Go ahead and what?
Well, go ahead
and whatever it is.
Well, whatever it is... That's
what I came to see you about.
Shall I buy
or shall I sell?
Well, why don't you
just use your own judgment?
That's the one thing in the
world that I don't want to use.
But if you could find out
how he feels about it,
if you could sort of
worm it out of him
then we'd have something.
Who?
Him.
Who's him?
Allbay.
Allbay?
Mr. Ball.
Oh, you mean him.
Well...
Well, I'll ask him, but I'm sure
he doesn't know a thing about it.
He's here? Yes. He's having his breakfast.
I... I... I'll wait out
in the hall.
Well, what do you
want to do that for?
Don't mention my name.
No.
Uh, I don't even
remember what it is.
Oh, look,
"Sponge rubber neckties,
"look like leather, wear like iron. " Johnny!
A man in the hall wants to
know what you think about steel.
Steel neckties?
No, no, plain steel.
Is it going up or down?
Oh, down!
Down?
Yes.
How do you know?
Oh, my father told me!
You see, whenever it looks like
rain, the stock market goes down,
like a dog follows a cat.
You're sure, now? Oh, I've
made a deep study of it!
Well, all right.
He says it's going down.
Down?
Down.
Holy smoke!
Down! Down! Down!
Down! Down!
Going up?
No, down!
Yes, sir.
Down!
...that steel is going up!
It's the chance we've been
waiting for, gentlemen!
Did you win?
Steel is going up!
Why are ore
shipments so heavy?
Stop fooling with that pen!
Why is pig iron soaring?
What does it mean,
when steel scrap is scarcer than hen's teeth?
Have you got a pin?
What?
No!
I tell you...
...that steel is due
for a big drop!
Double exclamation point.
"This is the greatest opportunity the
clients of E. J. Hulgar and Company
"have ever had to participate
in advance information
"from the world's
greatest expert on steel!"
Triple exclamation point!
And Mr. Salmon of
London, and Mr. Jonas,
and Mr. Metzger,
and Lord Beaver.
All right, all right!
Take a letter.
Uh...
"Miss Mary Smith,
care of the Boys'... "
What-do-you-call-it,
"New York, New York. "
No, make that the Hotel
Louis, New York, New York.
What is this, anyway?
"My dear Miss Smith. "
No. "My dear Mary... "
Uh...
"My dear Mary. "
Don't rush me!
Now, where was I?
"My dear Mary. "
Oh. Oh. Oh.
"My dear Mary.
"There was a schoolboy called
Jones... " Make his name Willie.
Willie Jones.
No, no! Just plain Willie!
And I want it on plain paper.
We got any plain paper?
If we haven't, we can get some. All right.
"There was a schoolboy
called Willie Jones... "
Just Willie.
I said his name was Jones!
"... who wanted a hundred marbles
to play a game of maggies. "
Aggies.
Oh, whatever you call it!
Have you got that?
Of course I have.
All right. Now.
"His friend... "
What is this here?
Tell the porter to come
and clean it up!
"On the other hand,
his friend Henry...
"His friend... "
Say, steel is too low!
Buy 1,000 at the market!
1,000 steel.
Tell Mr. Hyde
to come in here!
Send Mr. Hyde in.
"On the other hand,
his friend Henry...
"On the... "
Five more! And tell that fellow
to hang onto the end of the line!
Five more!
10 more, and watch it.
Did you ring for Mr. Hyde?
Yes, sir.
Get me Kirk and Company.
Kirk and Company.
"On the other hand,
his friend Jack said... "
His friend's name was Henry. What
do you mean his name was Henry!
Kirk and Company on one.
Hello. Hello. I want to talk to the Colonel.
Yeah. I always thought
his name was Jack!
There's somebody over there
trying to pull something!
If they think they can kid me, they're crazy!
Hello! Kirk?
This is Ball.
I want 50 steel.
What? No!
50,000! Yeah. Right!
Where's Hyde?
He's in the barber shop.
He's always in
the barber shop!
You tell that fathead
for me that if he...
Oh...
This is a fine time
to be fixing your hair!
Well, I was only down in...
I don't care where you were!
If you paid more attention to the
stock market and less to your hair...
This is unfair, Mr. Ball!
Don't you "Mr. Ball" me!
Buy 50 more!
50 more. Now, you get down on the floor
where you belong!
Well, well, well,
how about my hair?
I don't care anything
about your hair!
Get out of here!
Well, is anything happening?
Why don't you get down there and find out!
Hello. Yes.
Oh, just a moment, please.
Miss Smith!
Oh, Miss Smith!
Telephone, please.
Oh, excuse me.
Yes?
Hello. Hello.
Hello! Are we alone?
I mean, can you talk?
Good. Well,
you've just made $18,000.
$18,000! What do you mean, $18,000?
That's right.
Two times nine.
Call me at once if you get
any more news. Goodbye.
Oh, wait! Wait!
What did you say?
What?
$18,000!
Oh, no.
This one is $200,000!
That's what he said!
That's what he said!
What?
Johnny.
What?
I'm going to buy a dog!
You know, one of those great,
big woolly ones, Johnny,
with the bangs all over
its eyes! Mary! Mary! Mary!
I know they have fleas but I don't
care. I've wanted one all my life.
Oh, snap out of it, please!
Johnny! Oh, Johnny,
we've just made $18,000.
9,000 for you
and 9,000 for me!
One of those great,
big woolly ones, Johnny.
Is there a doctor
in the house?
And 50!
And 50.
20 more.
20 more.
Get me Kirk and Company.
As your partners, J.B., we...
Oh, keep quiet! We don't
want to buy any more...
Keep quiet! Hello.
No, I didn't say that to you.
Hello, Kirk? Listen!
Yeah. All right.
Well, you get me all that you can
swing! We think it very unwise!
We absolutely refuse
to buy any more steel!
You'll run us all
into bankruptcy!
You're in bankruptcy now,
you fathead!
The only thing that will save
us is steel! My poor wife!
Go and sit down
someplace!
Get me Noyes and Company.
20 more.
Noyes and Company.
That was Mrs. Ball's lawyers,
Spitz and O'Neil. 20 more.
What do they want? 10 more.
10 more. Mrs. Ball is
divorcing you. Holy smoke!
20 more.
20 more.
Extra! Extra! Read all
about it! Extra! Extra!
Probably my old man
pulling a fast one!
I forgot. You don't know my old man, do you?
Fortunes vanish!
Let me see that, will you?
Hold that! Market crash! Worse than '29!
Hey, wait a minute!
Let me see that!
Say, where's the subway?
Well, what's the matter?
Come on, give me a nickel!
Where are you going?
Why don't you use the car? Subway's
faster. I'll see you later, Mary.
Hey, you big lug!
Give me my dime!
Stop doing that!
Hello. Hello.
Hello. Mr. Hyde.
Yeah. Lester? Yeah.
It's no use, J.B.
We can't turn it.
Looks as if everybody in
the country's selling. Yeah.
Now, take it easy.
Take it easy.
You did the best
you could. Yeah.
We might buy...
Oh, never mind!
All right.
Yeah. Goodbye.
Why don't you birds
go out and eat somewhere?
You, too, Lillian,
and get me a sandwich.
I have one for you
outside, Mr. Ball.
Put it on the desk.
Jenny!
Juny!
I didn't know!
There, there!
My gracious!
You know I'd scrub floors
for you, Juny!
I'd do anything!
We've been through
tighter squeaks than this. You
haven't scrubbed any floors yet.
But I would!
Of course you would,
and you'd probably do a fine
job of it. Thank you, Juny.
And...
And I forgive you everything.
Even the...
The girl at
the Hotel Louis.
Now, look here! You've got me
mixed up with somebody else!
I did spend the night
at the Hotel Louis, yes!
I don't expect you
to admit it!
After all, you're a
handsome, forceful man and...
Well, I'm not exactly
the debutante you married.
Now, Jenny!
I've got trouble enough!
Out of simple decency
you ought to...
I wouldn't talk about decency
if I were you, Juny!
Come in!
Hello, Father.
Hello, Mother.
Ha! The prodigal!
Anything I can do?
Anything but floor scrubbing.
Your mother's spoken for that!
How can you be
so cruel, Juny?
I'm not cruel, Jenny.
I'm just laying out the work.
When everything was
going so nice!
Every cloud has
a silver lining.
Never mind the weather! We got
a lot of things to worry about.
Why don't you look
where you're going?
Excuse me! Look what
I've got, Mr. Louis!
Come on! Come on up, Snooks.
And I've got something for you,
bowl of goldfish! Look. Put
them right here, Mr. Hornsby.
There are eight in there, I think.
Come on, don't act like that.
I am dying and she is
bringing the animals!
Did you see the papers?
Yes, I saw the headlines.
It says that certain party is tottering
and every time he's tottering I am tittering!
Oh, did something happen
to your hotel, Mr. Louis?
If he's in the soup,
the Hotel Louis is blooey!
Who's in the soup?
The certain party
that give you the sables.
What sables?
My dear young lady,
we are all alone.
Will you please
cut the tragedy!
But I haven't got
any sables!
I am trying to give you
my friendship,
and she plays puss-around-the-corner!
What is this, a horse?
No, smarty,
it's kolinsky!
Me and you both.
Well, if you don't believe me,
ask Mr. Van Buren!
Well, if it's just
the same to you,
I'd rather remain
on the sidelines.
He's the one
who told me!
Well... If this is sable,
he must've made a mistake.
You... You... You wouldn't give a
sable coat to a stranger, would you?
Who, me?
Never!
What was the name of the gentleman that
helped you order my supper last night?
Too far is enough!
The Imperial Soot
for one buck a day,
with breakfast, one egg,
I don't mention!
The bottle of Goulet 1919,
guinea pigs,
hunky-dorey! But when you tell
me that you don't even know
the name of J.B. Ball,
my dear young lady...
Do you mean to tell me that
old gentleman is J.B. Ball?
Mmm-hmm.
And you thought I took a sable coat from him?
Come on, Snooky. Come on, Mr.
Hornsby! We won't stay around here!
Get out from my hotel!
Put that back
in the icebox!
Such a humiliation!
That's terrible!
What do you suppose made it
crash? A little stock called steel
that you probably
don't know anything about!
This little stock dropped 40
points since it opened this morning!
I guess that answers
your question.
So steel went down?
Down is right!
Well, that's certainly
very funny.
It certainly is,
if you can take a joke!
No, I mean because
I told her it was going down
when that screwball
in the hall wanted to know.
What screwball in what hall?
I didn't see him,
but you know how it is
when somebody comes in
and asks you how you feel about
steel. Why you just naturally...
Who comes in? That girl I met in the Automat.
Since when are you
eating in the Automat?
I don't eat there.
I work there!
Or I used to. You mean
where they push these things
out at you?
Yeah. Yeah.
So when she said there was
a screwball in the hall who...
Didn't I already say that?
Yeah.
Yeah. I thought so. So I
said, casually, of course,
not meaning a thing,
I thought
the weather looked
kind of threatening
and that consequently
steel would go down.
He said steel would go down
because the weather was bad!
There's your son for you!
But I told you
I was only joking!
Don't you know you can't make jokes
about steel with a name like Ball!
Well, I did.
Say, I wonder does Mary
know who that guy was?
Not that it matters.
Mary who?
Mary Smith.
Mary Smith?
Yes, Mary Smith!
Say, haven't I got a right to
know a girl called Mary Smith?
You mean Mary Smith at the Hotel Louis? Yeah.
Say, wait a minute! How did you
know she's at the Hotel Louis?
I thought the whole
world knew it!
Get me the Hotel Louis!
She told me
she didn't know you.
Don't you read
the papers, dear?
Hello...
Hello! Is this
the Hotel Louis?
I want to talk
to Mr. Louis.
Yes, Mr. B.
Oh, that one?
I threw her out!
What? But, Mr. B., she's
a phony from Phonyville!
She told me she was your palsie-walsie,
and then she eat me out of the
house, and... But... But... But...
But how I am
supposed to know, Mr. B!
I am not a diplomats!
I am a great cook.
I am the... Mr...
What's the matter?
Yes.
This time the goose
is geesed or visa versa!
I tell you, you can't see
him! But I've got to see him!
It's terribly important!
Now, now, now!
You don't understand. He's
made a very expensive mistake!
Look, Mr. Ball is that busy,
if the King of France himself
come on bended knees...
In the first place, France hasn't
any king... Pardon me, please.
Oh, I don't know!
Come on, fellows!
Hello. Police Department?
Give me Captain Jackson of the
Traffic Squad. I want a V-16 picked up.
What! You say you fired her!
License Number 8C-9982.
Say, listen! Is this the
Boys' what-you-call-it?
And I... Why don't you get
these things un-snarled!
I can't talk over a phone.
There's no time to fix anything
in this madhouse!
Hello!
It's a big V-16, and Mr. Ball
wants it picked up right away.
Oh. So! All right!
Well, any time I can do you a favor,
you big fathead, you let me know!
Where did you say
you left her?
At a pet shop on 6th Avenue and 35th Street.
Get me a list of pet shops
right away! List of pet shops!
Why should she pretend
she didn't know him?
The less we know, dear,
the happier we're apt to be!
Was she wearing anything unusual
you could identify her by?
She had on
two English sheepdogs,
a goldfish bowl
and a pair of parrots!
Is that unusual enough?
She had on
two English sheepdogs and...
No! No! No!
She didn't have on...
I mean, she bought two English
sheepdogs, a goldfish bowl
and a couple of parrots.
You got those contracts
signed yet? Say, mister!
I've got to see Mr. Ball!
Could you arrange it for me?
Oh, you've got to see Mr. Ball! Yes.
Would you like to
see him in person?
Thanks very much.
No!
No, in the movies!
Say! Say, fellows, come here!
Come here, fellows!
Now, listen, fellows, when I say,
"Go," you go like anything, see?
All right. One,
two, three, go!
Hey!
Hey, wait...
Hey! Hey!
Don't talk to your father like
that! Both of you be quiet!
Oh, he's always yelling at me!
What's going on around here!
Never heard so much
noise in my life!
What the... Mary! Mr. Ball,
these dogs and this woman...
Keep quiet
and get out of here!
I got here just
as fast as I could.
So you didn't
know my father!
Are you... Is he...
Why, I didn't know...
You shut up! We're old
friends! Keep out of this!
I hurried right down here.
Do you know,
this isn't kolinsky at all, it's sable!
And I knew you wouldn't give me sable!
You mean he even
gave you the coat?
Well, I didn't know
he was your father.
Well, supposing you didn't?
Is that any reason why you
should take a coat from the guy!
I don't know. I thought...
Wait a minute.
Shut up, both of you!
If I could get a word
in edgeways around here
with one of my unimportant
quibbles, we'll get somewhere!
Get out of here! Get out
of here! Get out of here!
Now.
Did you tell anybody Mr. Ball
said steel was going down?
Uh, only Mr. Hulgar.
Only Mr...
And all the principal cities.
Oh! You don't mean
E.J. Hulgar and Company!
That must have been
the screwball in the hall.
Well, this is a fine time
to find it out!
Well, didn't you
want it to go down?
No! No! No!
J. B! Your blood pressure!
No!
Then why doesn't
she tell him it's going up?
Tell who?
Hulgar. If a thing works once,
it'll work twice. What
do you mean, tell Hulgar!
Of all the nonsensical, idiotic
idea I ever heard in my life...
Yes. Yes.
Yes, this is me!
Well, this is me.
I've got some
very important news.
Steel is going up.
Do you understand?
Up? Holy smoke!
We'll have to
cover right away!
You'd better get
plenty of covers!
And listen! I don't know what this means,
but I understand
that he's got it...
He's got it...
What?
What? Oh, give me a piece of paper, quick!
Cornered! Cornered! Yes,
he's got it cornered!
Do you know
what that means?
Holy mackerel!
Are you sure?
Goodbye!
And don't forget to tell
all the principal cities.
He's gone. Well.
Where's Hyde?
He's in the... He's in the
barber shop! I thought so!
Mr. Ball wants you right away!
Ball? Get me out of here! Let me up!
Mr. Ball wants me!
I told you I didn't know who he was,
so when I said I didn't know
your father, I didn't know him,
because I didn't know
he was your father!
Then why did you
take the coat?
I didn't want to, but your father kept
saying that I shouldn't be a smarty
and that I shouldn't know
all the answers,
and besides, you don't know
what a fur coat means to a girl
who never even
had a tippet!
Well, how nice
my coat looks on you!
Did you have it altered,
Miss Smith?
I don't blame you for believing
anything you want to believe about me.
If I loved a man
the way you love Mr. Ball,
and I thought
someone was trying
to steal him away from me,
why I... Now, Mary, please!
But why this big lug, who
practically spent the weekend with me,
who shared
the whole thing with me,
who I thought was my friend, why he
should believe all those things...
Now, calm yourself, please!
Go soak your head in a bucket!
Here! Here!
Hurray! Buy 100!
Say, what's going on
around here! Buy another 50!
Johnny,
you don't suppose...
Buy 50 more!
J.B., when do we sell?
When it hits 100!
Say, what's going on around
here, anyway! When it hits...
Yeah.
When it hits 100!
Please, I...
Please...
Hey! Follow that car!
Just a minutes!
I got to get out!
Go on, buddy, drive faster!
Driver, not so fast, please!
Don't pay no attention
to these guys! Get going!
I am in terrible troubles.
Mr. Hornsby! Mr. Hornsby,
we're being arrested!
Yes, mum, I know it.
All right, buddy, back
where you came from! Come on!
Yes, Officer.
What's going on down there? I'm
afraid the police have arrested Mary.
Mary! What's she done?
Johnny.
Johnny, they're trying to arrest
me! I haven't done anything!
You saw me give the fur coat back,
and I put the jewels under the horse.
You know where,
Mr. Louis!
I don't want to be complicated! Oh.
Johnny, don't let them
take me away!
No, no, no.
I haven't done anything!
Where's Mr. Ball? I'm Mr.
Ball. What do you want?
Are you the party that wanted
her back so bad and so quick?
No. I'm Mr. Ball.
I wanted her back.
J.B., steel is 105!
J.B., steel is 105!
Well, sell 100!
Make it 200!
Sell 100! Sell 200! Hey, you!
Come on up here and go to work!
All right, all right
clear the sidewalk.
It's just a little
misunderstanding.
Not so little
as you think!
Mary, come here!
Come here!
Mary!
What?
I've got a job!
Oh, Johnny!
So have you.
Well, what is it?
Cooking my breakfast!
Johnny!
Didn't I tell you, you
couldn't have that coat?
But, Juny!
Now, let go of it!
Johnny, this is
where we came in.