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Eat Local (2017)
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(SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) (MYSTERIOUS MUSIC) (CLOCK TICKING) (GEARS RATTLING) (CLOCK TICKING) (KNOCKS) (CLOCK CHIMING) (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) BINGHAM: This is control, what's your sit rep? Come back. Sorry sir, caught a tiger. BINGHAM: He's tracking you now? I don't know sir, I gotta get out of here. BINGHAM: Stop where you are and count to five. Negative, sir. BINGHAM: Do it now, 18, that's an order. One, two, three, four, five. BINGHAM: You still there, 18? I think so, sir. BINGHAM: Then he's not tracking you. How can you tell? BINGHAM: You got to five, didn't you? (SCREECHING) (BREATHES DEEPLY) (TRAIN RUMBLING) (TRAIN RUMBLING) (TRAIN HORN BLOWS) What you doing? Shouldn't you be in bed by now? No, our bedtime ain't till 10:00. 10:00? That's outrageous. I was never allowed to stay up till 10 when I was your age. What a cock. (TRAIN RUMBLES) (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) (MEN TALKING INDISTINCTLY) PETER: Nine million. THE DUKE: No no no, let me speak. PETER: Nine million. (MEN TALKING INDISTINCTLY) THE DUKE: We meet only once every 50 years, Peter, and you've striven to become a bore. PETER: 10 million. And I cherish each and every one of them. PETER: I'm just stating the facts here. As you see them. As they are. Nine million. 10 million, four million, eight million. Now take away the first two numbers you thought of and add seven. Two and a half million. Huh? He doesn't even feed. Is that why you think it's okay to keep poaching on my territory? For the fifth and final time, Henry, north of the border's my territory. And I'm not Erica Von Tweed, Mr. Boniface. Gentlemen, please. One squabble at a time, and I believe I have the rank here. 60 million and counting. Yet I remember when it was just six, and we were eight then, and we're eight now. Thinking of breeding, are you Peter? No. No, I'm quite happy with the friends I've got, thank you very much. And so am I. But I rather not be stuck here with all of you tomorrow. If you don't mind, please, could we get to the point? Courthouse. BOY: And so it wasn't even us it who pushed her into the pond, yet we were the ones who got told off for it, and she was already climbing out. Plus she's our new rep. That's good. Give us a quid. Ain't your parents ever told you about talking to strangers? BOY: Ain't yours? I never even knew 'em, mate. I'm an orphan. My dad's in Afghanistan. Ah. Here you go. In the army then, is he, your dad? No. The Taliban. Wait, give me that quid back, you little! (UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC) Oh, about time. Here you are, you have the rest of that. No man did you run away Not late, am I? Just in time. You smell lovely. Mmm. And you smell of booze. Just a couple with the lads while I was waiting. So how far's this place, then? Not far. You're not the only one BOY: Nice car. Nice looking bird. Oh yeah. (UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC) You have your rightful orders. That's not enough. I'll speak with the European council again. But you know what they will say. Fuck the council. I say we set our own quarters. And cut our own throats. They will hunt us down and you know it. These are difficult times, for all of us. Our glory days are long gone. Difficult times? Yeah but only for us. Because I know what they're taking over there, and it's a hell of a lot more than what we're taking over here. We are an island race, Peter. Therefore we must tread more carefully. And this has its pros and its cons. Yeah, and the pros are? The population's skyrocketing. So is their technology. And all records, computer files, DNA. We're not talking Bo Street runs anymore. Come on. All those migrants coming in clinging to the undersides of vehicles. No one's going to miss a few of them. (SCOFFS) Been reading the Daily Mail again, Alice? Those migrants may not be as invisible as you might think. They're harvesting our crops, they're sweeping our streets. They're emptying the bins. And they're sending the money home to their families so that maybe just maybe they can join us here in the promised land. Whether we like it or not, they have become part of the fabric of this society, and they will be missed if we think we can start helping ourselves. Not by my friends at the bingo they won't be. Just wait till your friends are lying in their hospital beds at death's door needing their backsides wiped. I suspect it won't come to that for most of my dear old friends. I don't like 'em over 60. It's too gamey for my taste. Hey. What are we even talking about here? I'm not racist. I'll kill anyone, no matter where they're from. Doesn't bother me. (CHITTERING) Come on. (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) So that's what you've been up to, is it? Helping yourself. Oh yeah. Oh, you'd like that, wouldn't you? Get a sanction off the council to get rid of me. I'm not talking to you, Peter. What? What? What? You think we wouldn't find out, Thomas? That the council wouldn't find out? PETER: What's he talking about? I dunno. He's been overfeeding. No I haven't. 16 above his quota this year already. And the less said about last year the better. That's a lie. And not only has he been overfeeding, he's been taking them young. The little boy in the paper? Boys, plural. That wasn't me. I didn't take them, honest. I swear. PETER: What have you done? THOMAS: You're always saying we should take what we want. Yeah, not children, not like this, not without consent. But... you said. And you. No, Tom. (INTENSE MUSIC) Please. I can stick to my quota. I won't let you down again. If only it were that simple. (GUN FIRES) (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) THOMAS: Let me go! PETER: This isn't right. No, but it's official. Do it quickly, finish this. THOMAS: No, Henry! (WOOD CRACKS) Peter, don't do this Henry, please! You brought it on yourself. (HISSING) (CHITTERING) PETER: When fires die and shoals combust, the blood recedes to leave but dust. Don't be scared And that's that. Open to everything now Nothing's wrong Would you stay being ourselves for a while I wasn't calling You've been down Selling yourself for the soul (ENGINE ROARING) This ain't nothing kinky, is it? Describe kinky. Well, I'm not looking to cross the streams. Do you know what I mean? Not entirely, no. Well, I'm just saying, you know I like you. And I like you too. And I'm sure my friend's gonna like you. I just, I thought when you asked that it'd be just the two of us, you know? (LAUGHS) Aren't you the cutest little thing when you're being shy? Slightly patronizing. But okay. We won't stay up too late. We'll have a quick bite and then off to bed, I promise. I can live with that. We'll see. (LAUGHS) (CAR ENGINE STARTS) Show me the world tonight Maybe we'll lose ourselves Everybody here? Everybody was. VANESSA: This is Sebastian. Hey Sebastian, glad you could make it. SEBASTIAN: You took the words right out my mouth, mate. Go on inside. Everyone's waiting for you. (CAR ENGINE STARTS) He's got my bag. Sebastian. For fucks sake. Come on. Hi everyone. Not too late, am I? No. Your timing couldn't be better. Ah no. Ah no, I don't believe this. THE DUKE: You know the rules, Peter, one out, one in. So nice to be consulted. Look, if there's a problem, I can always piss off to the pub. Vanessa... No, not at all. This is Sebastian. The one I told you about. Fine name, Sebastian. Thanks. Always hated it, myself. What do your friends call you, then? Sebastian. Very telling. I am the Duke. You're a Duke? He's The Duke. Why not. I'm game. VANESSA: This is... No one to you. HENRY: So you're the gypsy boy, then. (SCOFFS) I say Romani. I'm Henry. I hail from the East myself. Oh, yeah. That's my barrier, is it? Alice. Hey. Angel. Hi. Ooh. Jesus. Get some gloves, you lot. THE DUKE: Shall we begin? Now I suppose you're wondering... (CREAKS) (CRASHES) What the Fuck. The leg's been busted off. Here, have mine. Oh no, you're all right, don't worry about it. Sebastian, just... SEBASTIAN: No, seriously. No no, just take it. Sit, Sebastian. I'm just gonna wait in the car. Please. (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) We have a proposition for you. I thought you might. We are eight in number. We've always bene eight. Since before the time of Ipsubal. The council decrees it. Yeah, my council's a bit like that. They drive me mad, you know. Do you mind if I smoke? But this night, Sebastian... There's a space. If not a chair, right? Eh? (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) Come in 18, over. I repeat, come in 18, over. 18, will you please respond, over. Dammit. Patience is a virtue, Padre. All good things come to those who wait. LAROUSSE: Waited long enough. The Vatican's waited 1000 years. I'm sure 10 more minutes won't make any difference. (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) Sebastian please, this is important. Vanessa has spoken very highly of you. She says you come from good stock. You're joking, ain't ya? I'm a Romani from an orphanage. I sell back catalog, no band. That'll work for us. Look, I'd love to and all that, but caught me on a bad week and I'm tapped out. Normally, I am the man to see, but. The boy's an idiot. No. Honest, I mean look, it sounds brilliant and all that. Whatever it is. Save the whale or praise the lord or whatever, but it's, I like to do my own thing. Plow my own furrow, so no offense and all that, seriously. Thanks for asking. (SNEEZES) (GROWLS) SEBASTIAN: Shit. You didn't tell him? I thought we'd break it to him gently. SEBASTIAN: She's a monster. Calm down, Sebastian. No, she's a zombie. I'm off, bro, believe that, I gotta go. Take a breath. No, no. I'm... (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) We're not saving the whales, Sebastian. And we are certainly not peddling God. Tonight we must become eight. Oh fuck. Yeah, oh fuck indeed, my young Romani kin. We have a vote before us. Yea or nay. Let's hear it now. Yea. (IRON SLAPS ON OVEN) Yea. Yea. Yea. Yea. And for Chen too. PETER: Nay. (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) Nay? Thomas was my friend. I brought him in. You should've talked to me about this. Nessa, what's he mean nay? Shh. I've spent months on his candidature. He's 12 generations pure, you can't do this. I can and I am. And there's nothing you can do about it. We apologize, Sebastian. Hey, that's all right. It was nice meeting you and all that. Oh, I'm sorry, Sebastian, it wasn't meant to be like this, I thought they'd all accept you. I didn't count on the fact that some people are just assholes, no matter how long they live for. Wait, wait wait, it's six to one. That's a landslide, surely. Has to be unanimous, I'm afraid. Really did like you, Sebastian. Well, I liked you too, Vanessa. All of ya. What good lads. Even you, I mean, you look all right. You take a day, get to know me, we could be mates. You're not my type, son. Vanessa, he's your responsibility. (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) Sebastian. Just close your eyes and think happy thoughts. God. No no, wait wait, you can't. I've got kids. No you haven't Sebastian, you haven't got anyone. No. I just said that. Yeah. Yeah, you did. (CLATTERING) Get back. Get back everyone, in the name of God, the son and the holy smoke, I command thee. (LAUGHING) You get back! Get back! You get back. I command thee. Did he just say "thee?" Yes. I don't think it quite works like that. SEBASTIAN: It doesn't work like that? No. SEBASTIAN: What about this, then? (SMASHES) (GRUNTS) Hey. Love hurts, I guess. (BLOWS) Glad to see you're still here, 18. What's happening in there? I dunno, sir. There's a lot of screaming, shouting, yelling, all sorts. It's horrible. And that's your report, is it? Yeah. Who else is here, where's backup? Don't worry about that. We've got it covered. (GUNS CLICKING) (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) (BANGING) (BANGS) (GRUNTS) (BANGS) (WOOD CRACKING) Peekaboo. Oh, please. Come on, just leave me alone. (WOOD CRACKING) (CRASHING) (CHICKENS CLUCKING) Oh, me arse. 18: Someone's making a break for it. BINGHAM: Get ready. Wait, sir. It's human. It's a hot body. It's not our target. He's a fighter, you gotta give him that. So he is. Shame. (SEBASTIAN SHOUTS) (GRUNTS) (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) Where did he come from? 18: I don't know. Cold body, cold body, that's him, that's our target. Get away from me, man. I mean it, mate. Look, I don't wanna fuck you up. Hyah. I'm warning you, bruv. I know kung fu. (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) Is it him? Colonel Bingham, do you have a visual on our target? Confirmed, Mr. Larousse, the target is cold. We have a positive sighting. Oh, thank god. I'm giving you the order to go. Take the target down with my authority and that of the Full Synod. Wait, cold body. Second target. God, seriously? (GRUNTS) Abort the grab. I repeat, abort the grab. Everyone stand down. What's going on? I said go, take him down, do it now. I don't have time for this, I've got places I need to be... (RUSTLING) (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) What is it? There's something out here. (SCREECHES) Just out for his dinner, Mr. Boniface. Same as us. (MYSTERIOUS MUSIC) PETER: He's all yours. Rouse him, it's only proper. Wakey wakey. (SPLASHES) (GASPS) Alright, lads? (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) (CRACKS) (GRUNTS) SEBASTIAN: Piss off! Wait! Hey! Just a thought. Do we have any food in? It would be a shame to waste a meal. What? This just gets better and better, doesn't it? (SNIFFING) Colonel Bingham, what's going on? I gave you the order to go, so why haven't you gone? We have a second target, Mr. Larousse, it changes everything. LAROUSSE: It changes nothing. We have the resources for two, so I'm ordering you to go. Father, this is a dangerous situation. Unique even. Now we need time to reci the house properly. We don't have the time, Colonel, if the targets are in the house you need to take them down and now. BINGHAM: Mr. Larousse. Now, Colonel! Stand by. We move on my order. (SIGHS) Dammit. All those in favor. Against. Then we are decided. No. You can't eat me. I'm all fat and cholesterol. ANGEL: And I've been so good all week. (SNARLING) Everyone, get down on the floor. (SNARLS) Colonel. We have a problem. Oh, Corporal. You have no idea. (GUNS FIRING) CORPORAL: Behind you. Get out, get out. Abort, abort. (CORPORAL SHOUTS) Help us. Help us! MAN ON RADIO: Captain, Captain, we need assistance, we need assist... (GROANS) (SQUELCHES) (RADIO STATIC BUZZING) (DISTANT GUNS FIRING) First squad come in. What's your status, over. First squad, I repeat, come in, what's your status, over. (RADIO FEEDBACK SCREECHES) Colonel Bingham? How many were in there? More than two, Mr. Larousse. More than two. First squad over and out. (RADIO CLICKS) (MYSTERIOUS MUSIC) (PAINED BREATHING) (GROANING) Help him up, help him up. Shh. (BABBLING) Please, please don't go. Henry, what are we gonna do? (COUGHING) - Henry. - Shh. Shh, it's all right. No no no. Angel, Angel. It's too late. Shh. (EXHALING) (WIND BLOWING) (CRUMBLING) Who gets his territory, then? What? Too soon? Shouldn't we get out of here? I mean, if they're as dangerous as you say, shouldn't we retreat? We've got the tiger by the tail, 18. As long as we don't let go, we won't end up like the others. (BEEPS) (WHIRRING AND BEEPING) I don't see anyone. No, there's more outside. How many? (RADIO BUZZES) I dunno. LAROUSSE: If you want to move into position you have my authority to go. Negative, we're standing fast. The situation has changed, over. Colonel Bingham, you may have the experience, but I have the authority... I think they're having the same conversation. Father Larousse. You have just given out that order over a compromised radio channel. Now before you go sacrificing any more of my men, scramble to pre six, over. What's going on? I dunno, they just scrambled. Who are they? I dunno, Nessie. I've got a horrible feeling they know exactly who we are. Guys. Someone's moving. ANGEL: Trying to leave without saying goodbye? HENRY: Trust me, Seba, you don't want to go outside. (THUDS) BINGHAM: There's not gonna be any more assaults, Mr. Larousse, we're sealing off the perimeter. That's not the plan, Colonel. The plan changes when I lose a whole squad in under a minute. Now we've three squads left, and I'm not wasting any more of my men for nothing, do you understand? Colonel Bingham, this is the opportunity of a lifetime, you can't just let them get away. Then we won't. We're going to put a ring of steel around this farmhouse till tomorrow. Nothing gets in or out of that place alive tonight. Very good, Colonel, carry on. (RADIO CLICKS) He says we can carry on. (MYSTERIOUS MUSIC) PETER: When fires die and shoals combust, the blood recedes to leave but dust. What do we do with him? Got a broom or something, or? I've seen a dustpan and brush somewhere. Dear god, who says there's no dignity in death? His problems are over. Ours are just beginning. Let's just Skype next time, yeah? What's Skype? That internet phone thingy, Alice. I can work the video now. ANGEL: You still using tapes? Yes, why? Jesus. It's like being around me nan's house. Oh yeah, that reminds me. Does somebody want to kill him now? ANGEL: I'll do it. No, we might still need him. ALICE: Are you sure? She's sure. You're sure? She's sure, she's sure. Yeah, until we know what we're dealing with, we can just put him downstairs with the rest, okay? I'll take him. No, I brought him here tonight. ANGEL: Well split him then. I'll take him. VANESSA: I'll take him. Neither of you are taking him. I'm doing it. No sides, no arguments. Not if we want to get out of here tonight. Hang on a minute. What others? Who are you talking about? You're all right, go on. Anyone use one of these before? (GUN CLICKING) I've got one at home. The Thatchers. It's their farm. Ah. You all right? How's it going? Vanessa was right about you. You are something else. Coming from. (THATCHERS WHIMPERING AND MUMBLING) Shh. 18: Sir? Sir. BINGHAM: What is it? 18: Something odd. (WHIRRING AND BEEPING) (FOOTSTEPS THUDDING) (SNARLING) For god's sake. Stop that before the others see. Boy's dead. I don't care, I'm starving. That's disgusting. He's still warm. Want some? (GUN FIRING) (GLASS SHATTERING) (SNARLING) What was that for?! Someone else objecting to your questionable culinary habits, it would seem. Here, keep it. (GUNS FIRING) Everyone's a food critic these days. (LIGHT ROCK MUSIC) Stop! Eat this, you sons of bitches. (GUNS FIRING) Everybody shoot her! ANGEL: Alice! I'm busy! Hey. Glad you came? Oh yeah. Vampires with machine guns. What's not to love? (BULLETS RICOCHET) Perfect. (GUN FIRING) (GRUNTS) They got me. Evidently. You know, there are other guns. Well you're all making enough noise on your own, sweetheart. You're such a prick. (BULLET RICOCHETS) (GUN FIRING) Colonel Bingham, come in, I repeat, what's happening, over. Talk to me. (GUNS FIRING) They're trying out the weapons you've gifted them Father, over. Well stop firing, you're just wasting ammunition, you can't kill them that way anyway. You may be right. They don't like it either. (GUNS FIRING) (GLASS SHATTERS) You okay? I'll live. True enough. (INDISTINCT SHOUTING) (GUN FIRING) Hold on. (BULLETS RICOCHETING) Alice. Alice. (GUNS FIRING) Shh. They've stopped shooting. No shit, Sherlock. I don't think my suit could've taken much more of this. You are no fun in a fight, do you know that? (YAWNING) Pity. One more minute, they would've been out of ammo. Colonel, I think you should look at this. (WHIRRING AND BEEPING) Might be a longer night than we thought. Christ. Oh shit, I been shot. I been shot, I been shot, quick, someone, please, quick, please, call an ambulance... No, calm down, calm down, Seba. No you haven't, that's just my blood. You idiot. Oh, it's your blood. Your blood. (SQUELCHING) Get it off me, man. Get it off me, please get it off me, get it off me... Wait, wait, wait. - Get it off me, get it off me. - What's wrong now? Mate, if it's your blood, who knows what you've got? (CHUCKLES) (SQUELCHES) I'll tell you what, if I've got anything it'll be foot in mouth disease. (CLANGS) What? I'm not a human feeder, Sebastian. I only take from animals. But I thought you was... Yeah, as most people do. We don't all feed on humans. I choose not to. Why's that? Because I used to be one. VANESSA: Henry. Two's up. Safe. I love you. Oh, fuck off. (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) VANESSA: Look. How many? VANESSA: Enough. Enough for what? Enough to stop us from leaving before dawn. What then? Why then, dear boy, we won't be leaving at all. Feeling brave, Mr. Larousse? I can't see anything from back there, I need to know what's happening. Not much, at the moment. Can we hold them there? Until sunrise? Well if we don't, I'll be sure to let you know. They're just in there, aren't they? They're really there. What if we could take just one of them out alive? What are you talking about? Just to get a sample. For the sake of science. These things are an abomination, Colonel. They need to be wiped from the face of this Earth. Righteous speech, Mr. Larousse, but I think we're missing an opportunity. We have them trapped, Colonel, this is our opportunity. We might never be this close to this many of them again. You're right. I know I am. My authority comes right from the top. (GUNS CLICKING) What's, no no no, this doesn't happen, what is this? My authority. I'll be taking charge from now on. (DRAMATIC MUSIC) (WHIRRING AND BEEPING) (HENRY TALKING INDISTINCTLY) VANESSA: But you can stay here. Look, see if I care. HENRY: I'm not saying that, I'm just saying that we shouldn't go out there without a plan. VANESSA: And the plan is I'm just gonna go for it. I'm gonna go towards the trees and I'm just gonna go for it. HENRY: That's not a plan. Running is what you do when you don't have a plan. The place is surrounded, how far do you think we're gonna get anyway? Far enough for my issues not to get mixed up with yours. I'm ready. For what? We haven't even decided what we're doing yet. Guys, the game might be up for us. But we can still make a few widows before this night's out. Of course, we don't all have to get away. PETER: What's that? What are you talking about, old woman? No, no, she's right. What do mean by that, what? As long as they've got us where they can see us, we're hog-tied. But if one of us can get away, get to the shadows. The night is ours. Okay. Okay, good, so now we have a plan. I'm ready. Chen's ready. So we break as one, all in the same direction, at the same time. And the first one in the clear doubles back and butchers every last single one of them. (BANGING) (CLATTERING) (THUDS) I did it. Did you see that? I did it! Don't worry, I'll come back with help. (LOUD MURMURING) Fine, but you owe me. You can have a Victoria Cross and a little notch if you'd like, just get us out of here. WOMAN ON PHONE: Please hold the line. Infinity help UT, please hold the line, you are currently ninth in the queue. Son of a bitch. LAROUSSE: Who was that? Someone who pays more than you, Mr. Larousse. 30 pieces of silver, is it? More or less, allowing for inflation. Hold up, I got ya, I got ya. (GRUNTING) (MRS. THATCHER MURMURING) Well use your bleeding arms, then. 18: Oh shit, sir, we got movement. What is it? 18: Someone at the farmhouse just there. What the hell is that? (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) Come on, Frodo, put your back into it. (GRUNTS) MAN ON RADIO: Sniper one, leave that target pinned down until we find out if it's one of them or us, over. (GUN FIRES) (SHOUTS) (GUN FIRES) SEBASTIAN: Jesus Christ! 18: Warm body, sir, warm body. It's human. (GUN FIRING) Hold your fire. Go on then, get out of here. Go, go, go! BINGHAM: Good work, sniper one, you have backup, over. What is she doing? Evading our fire, it seems. Well let's give her a little bit of encouragement. Go on then. (GUN FIRING) (GASPING) Your go. (GUN FIRES) To you. (GUN FIRES) To you. (GUN FIRING) Jesus, some people don't know nothing. I don't believe it, she made it. You all right, mate? Don't look at me like that. She was the one that didn't want to wait for ya. This way. (PANTING) Oh, thank you. Thank you. You have no idea what I've been through. BINGHAM: Who are you? I'm Mrs. Thatcher. I live on the farm. They came tonight, they did. How many are there? Six, seven maybe? Plus some grotty little scumbag. They're all in it together. And my husband as well, knowing him. (WHOOSHES) (MUMBLES) I can't get it off. (MUMBLING) He's done it up too tight. (MUMBLED) Yeah... get off... knife. What? (MUMBLING) Pull my gag off and... Hold up. Sorry mate. Ah, okay. Just cut it off, there's a knife over there. Where? Over there on the workbench, there's a knife. Just cut it off. What, there? What, this one? I can't see it. MR. THATCHER: Over there on the workbench, blindo, right in front of ya. SEBASTIAN: Well I can't see one. MR. THATCHER: Keep looking. In there? No, no no, don't look in there! (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) Don't look at me, sport. That was here when we moved in. (CHUCKLES WEAKLY) (WHOOSHES) BINGHAM: You're sure that's everything? Yeah. Yeah, I told you. (MRS. THATCHER SIGHS) Right. I'll be off. I got a heart condition, you know. I'm not a well woman. Certainly. Come with me? Oh, thanks babes, but I don't wanna bother you no more. I'll be fine on my own from here. I insist. (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) Okay. Might just nip behind that tree. Here I go. Been tied up half the night. Absolutely bursting, I am. Got a bladder like a filled balloon. Let me out! What, end up pickled like that lot? No thanks. You got all that coming to you, sunshine. MR. THATCHER: Come here! (MRS. THATCHER SCREAMS) (GUN FIRES) (SOMBER MUSIC) 18: What'd you do that for? She could've been in league with them. Could've? What sort of justification is that? An uncertain one. Now there's certainty. You're mad. This is madness. This is war, 18. You'd better decide whose side you're on, before dawn. Sun's up in four hours, 18. Tick-tock. I can't believe she's dead. (SIGHS) It's nearly 20 years we been together. She didn't deserve that. I'm sorry. Look, as one human being to another, you gotta let me out, right, yeah? Let me go. I can't do that. Look, it really wasn't my fault. I mean, when you trace it all back, it was Mrs. Thatcher's fault. I mean, I loved her, but she was fuckin' nuts. (INTENSE MUSIC) WOMAN: You had me fooled once. The lady's not concerned. So, so what, look, look, you're gonna untie me, yeah? Nah. (BULLET RICOCHETS) Fucking hell. (GUNS FIRING) (LAUGHING) second squad, hold your positions. Do not let a single one out of your sights. Third squad, you've got two to your left. (SERENE MUSIC) Chen. Where's the bloody cars? (CHICKENS CLUCKING) (DRAMATIC MUSIC) (ENGINE REVS) (GUNS FIRING) (TIRES SQUEAL) (ENGINE REVVING) (GUN FIRES) (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) SOLDIER: Stay where you are! (GUNS FIRING) Will you let me, I know you're there, for god's sake, do something! Well that's not gonna help, is it? (BULLET RICOCHETS) Okay, it was pretty helpful, thank you very much. (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) So quiet. Better move. Better keep moving. (CROSSBOW FIRES) (GUNS FIRING) Chen. - Chen? - CHEN: Go. Chen, no. No no no, listen to me, Vanessa. Get out of here. Chen. (SOLEMN MUSIC) (UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC) Who's in there? (GUNS FIRING) (SHOUTING) (GRUNTING) (GUN FIRING) Shoot him! Shoot him! I'm out! Here, have one more. (UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC) (SNARLS) (SHOUTS) (WHOOSHES) (GRUNTS) MAN ON RADIO: Enemy down. We've got him, sir. (CRACKS) (THUDS) (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) (MAN TALKING INDISTINCTLY ON RADIO) Keep searching. We have a visual of a lone female, over. HENRY: We need to get back to the house. There's too many of them. We're gonna die out here. (CHICKENS CLUCKING) Shh. (EGG CRACKS) MAN ON RADIO: Over here. We found her, sir. We found her, over. MAN ON RADIO: We have a visual... (CLUCKS) In position, sir. Oh. MAN ON RADIO: Awaiting orders. (ROCKET FIRES) (EXPLODING) (CHICKEN CLUCKS AND SHOUTS) Oi. All right, lads. Who's winning? MR. THATCHER: Yeah, who's winning? Hi, Sebastian HENRY: Anyone else in here besides you two? Well, there's a few hot pickles in jars over there. (LAUGHS) Yeah. We pick our hosts quite carefully. Yeah? Worked out great, hasn't it? It's not over yet. If anyone can do it, she can. (SOLEMN MUSIC) (WIND BLOWING) (GUN CLICKS) (WALKER CLACKING) SOLDIER: You all right, love? Hold your position, soldier. I, I, I don't hear very well. Soldier, I said hold your position! They did terrible things to me. Really, really terrible things. OFFICER: Soldier! You're safe now. Oh my. Let's get you out of here. (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) (SQUELCHES) Fire! (GUN FIRING) (CROSSBOW FIRES) Shit. We've barely two squads left, Colonel. It's not enough to hold this place. They're down as well, Mr. Larousse. There are only three of them left, and they're hurt. They won't try that again. Actually sir, there's four. (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) Hello. How's your evening panning out? What do we do with her, sir? Please, we have to kill her now. She's too dangerous to hold. (CHUCKLES) Little old me? Please. (GIGGLES) 18: Sir? Break out the frame. (GRINDER RATTLING) (GRUNTS) Take it easy. Liable to hurt yourself with that. PETER: Are we the only ones who made it? Not quite. Perfect. My night's complete. You and me both, Chuckles. What the bloody hell's happened to my living room? What we gonna do? (HENRY WHISPERING) PETER: We need a plan. Look, why don't you just try talking to them. (CLOCK TICKING) Talking to them? Yeah, you know, strike up a little pow-wow. What you got to lose? They want to exterminate us. Yeah, well you won't be getting your deposit back, that's for sure. Yeah, well, they're probably saying the same thing out there. Why don't you just go see what their best offer is? Okay. And, (CLEARS THROAT), how would we do that? Well you're not seriously asking him for advice... You have any better ideas right now? Look mate, I've been around, you know, I know the score. I'm over 2000 years old, boy. I fourth at the Battle of Erbella. I fought with Alexander through Asia. We conquered the known world and we ruled as gods. Oh, that's all well and good and all that, but what you done lately? (VANESSA SCREAMING) Oh, jeez. (VANESSA SCREAMS) Oh, just, come on, just let me go, come on, let me down, this is done. (VANESSA LAUGHS) What's your name? (SNARLS) Death. And I'm coming for you. You should know better than to hit a lady. You're no lady, my dear. You so much as lay a finger on her, touch her, or harm her in any way, you will die. You don't know what you're doing. BINGHAM: Maybe not, but there is a cosmetic company that will be here in the morning that do. And then what? And then, me and my men are going to retire, somewhere far away from here. And very fucking sunny. (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) The other three vampires are back in the farmhouse, sir, with two warm bodies. Any of ours? Negative, sir. I'm guessing it's the farmer and the other one, the mystery guest. Now why haven't they killed them? Maybe they're keeping their options open. It's what I would do. It is, is it? So tell me, 18, what will their next move be? What would you do? I'd make a deal. VANESSA: Do you like what you see? You're completely healed. It could be yours. Every night, in every conceivable way, for all eternity. How many of you are there? Enough to farm you like cattle if we wanted. So why don't you? We like our meat organic, just as God intended. What do you know of God? VANESSA: More than you, I wager. How old are you? Well now you're just being personal. (SNIFFS) Wait till you see me in daylight, darling, it's a lot less flattering. Ah. I plan to. Make no mistake about that. As soon as the Colonel has his precious samples you will see the light. (SNARLS) Then we shall share it together. No, no no no no no. She hardly broke the skin. No! Okay, and all those in favor of Sebastian's idea. No, he doesn't get a vote. Why not? Yes he does. PETER: No, no he doesn't. All right, fine, three to one. Go on, Seba, tell us how this plan works. Well, you ever seen a film called Zulu? No! No! I am not one of them! I am God's envoy. Be grateful it's still me who's in charge, Mr. Larousse. There are others around here who would see you burn. MAN ON RADIO: Colonel, we've got movement. It's definitely one of theirs, and it's one of the humans from the house. There's a hot one and a cold body walking up the hill, sir. (SOMBER MUSIC) That's far enough. Good evening. Good evening. HENRY: How are you lot doing up there? We're holding our own. How about yourselves? You know. We've seen better nights. I imagine you have. You wanted to talk? HENRY: Yeah, we wanted to go. Go? Go where? Home. Go abroad. Basically anywhere this isn't happening. And why should we let you go? You ever seen Zulu? BINGHAM: The film, yes. Well there you go, that should speed things along. You're proposing an honorable withdrawal. One settle, both sides leave the field with mutual respect for each other. Yeah, something like that. How very civilized of us. You know you've killed more of us in one night than anyone else has in 1000 years. Your place in history is assured. Supposing we did just let you go. How do we know you wouldn't kill us the moment you got out? Because there's something else we want. Our friend you're holding. We're willing to trade one of yours for one of ours. What's your name? What does that matter? It doesn't. Do you know what I have at the moment? Tell me. Certainty. And for that, uncertainty's no exchange at all. (GUN FIRING) (SOMBER MUSIC) Henry. (THUNDER CRASHING) LAROUSSE: The lord is my shepherd, I shall not want, he maketh me to lie down in green pastures. He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul and leadeth me on the path of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I shall fear no evil, for thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff comfort me. Put a muzzle on that one. Listen to me, listen to me. You can still walk away from this. If you release us you will live, if you don't, you will die. And disappoint my benefactors? Whatever they're paying you, we can double it. Money's no object to us. As tempting as that may seem, I am a man of principles, and they bribed me first. I'm gonna do something I haven't done in over 600 years. And what's that? I'm going to enjoy killing you. (BINGHAM CHUCKLES) I like your confidence. If only we could bottle that too. (THUNDER RUMBLING) MAN ON RADIO: Anyone out there heard anything from section three? (INDISTINCT CHATTERING ON RADIO) (WHOOSHES) (CHITTERING) Shit. (WHOOSHES) (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) Anyone in section three? Shit! What's going on? Colonel, we've got a problem, there's something out here. (GUNS FIRING) That's impossible, all our targets are contained. Negative, sir. It's in the trees. Talk to me. Sir. Come in, soldier. What are your orders, sir? (SCREAMS) (SNARLS) We can't hold the ridge. We're being cut to pieces out here, sir. - Sir. - Come in, soldier. Start running! Cover the retreat! Soldier. Sir. (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) (INDISTINCT CHATTERING ON RADIO) Fuck it. (SQUELCHING) (THUDS) (SNARLING) Shit. Shit. (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) (WHIRRING AND BEEPING) Kill them. Do it now. No, please, Captain, don't do it. You don't have to do it. VANESSA: Henry. It's time for me to go now. (SQUELCHES) No, Vanessa. VANESSA: Love ya. No, Vanessa. No. (EXPLODES) (SHOUTS) No! (SHOUTS) (SOMBER MUSIC) (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) WOMAN: In 200 meters, bear right. In 200 meters, bear right. You have reached your destination. But that's bollocks. WOMAN: Turn around when possible. (HISSING) Recalculating route. 18: Colonel! WOMAN: Recalculating route. 18: Colonel! (GRUNTS) Wait, time out. What? Look mate, we don't have to do this. Let's just pretend we ain't seen each other. Sounds good to me. Well there you go, mate. (SCRAPING) Can I let you into a little secret? You're doing me a favor. (WIND HOWLING) End it. (SCRAPES) End it. (GUN CLICKS) (GUN FIRING) (ELECTRICAL CRACKLING) Excuse me. Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa! Stay back. I'm not one of them, I'm human, like you. Don't come any closer. Something horrible out there in the woods, something really horrible. Creeping about, it's horrible, please! Look, let's just pretend we didn't see each other, yeah? What? Go our separate ways. No one needs to know. What kinda sissy attitude is that? I mean you're a soldier, I'm a civilian, you're supposed to protect me. I pay my taxes. Most of 'em, most of the time, you know what I mean. Yeah, I guess so. Hey, you got a car? No. You got a gun? No, but I got a knife. (CHUCKLES) That's not a knife. This is a knife. I told you there was something horrible out there, didn't I? Yeah? (LAUGHING) You're all mine now, you little fox digger. (18 SHOUTS) You killed a lot of my friends tonight. (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) Thanks for that. (GRUNTING) (SQUELCHING) You come on my land, scare my chickens. (SHOUTS) He was like this when I found him. (CHUCKLES) (ROARS) (SUSPENSEFUL MUSIC) Yes. Oh, you lucky bastard. (KEYS JINGLE) Ah yes. (SLAMS) ANGEL: Going somewhere? Oh, come on. Let me go. After all we been through? I need a ride. You got a car, ain't ya? ANGEL: Sun's coming up, we can't drive in daylight. Will you let me go after? Of course, Sebastian. We're nothing if not appreciative. (ENGINE STARTS) So. I get the Duke's whole territory then, do I? Oh, don't be ridiculous, let me out of here. We'll discuss it later. Boniface. (LAUGHS) You're not kidding, are you? Yeah. (SNIFFS) Yeah, you can have the Duke's territory. That make you happy? Yeah, that makes me happy. HENRY: Great let's go. (GRUNTS) Good meeting. Yeah. (THUDS) (GRUNTING) (WIND HOWLING) Just give me a second here. Huh. (SNARLING) (ENGINE RUMBLING) (SHOUTING) Wait! (BRAKES SQUEAL) Ah. (SMOOCHES) ANGEL: You made it. Yeah, just about. Watch it, Seba. Thanks for hanging around. Hey, it's all right. You know me. Is that my suit? Fair exchange is no robbery. (CHUCKLES) Vanessa? No, we're all that's left. Well, you can still join us, if you wanna change your mind. I mean, what do you say, Mr. Boniface? We have some vacancies crop up of late. It's up to him. We're all good lads. (LAUGHS) I withdraw my objection. There you go, Seba. Wanna join the family? Uhm, Actually, can I think about it? All right, think about it while you're driving. (DOOR CLOSES) (BANGING) Let's get going! Where we going, then? HENRY: Anywhere but here, Sebastian. Anywhere but here. (CHEERFUL MUSIC) Hold me close, don't let me go, oh no I, yes I love you and I think that you know Do you know With your love light shining Every cloud's got a silver lining So hold (HISSES) Me close, don't let me go Hold me close, don't let me go Oh no (HISSING) And me, yes I'd love if we stop at the show Do you know (RECORD SCRATCHES) (SERENE MUSIC) The secret of young looking skin? Infinity's Forever Young. Our dermatologists have blended pro-retinol A nanosome with our highly protected protein-based ingredient, so for the first time ever, you can literally stop the clock. Jeunes, by Infinity. Stay forever young. Your love light shining clearly It's so good to have you near me So hold me close, don't let me go And if... ANGEL: You might wanna go the other way. SEBASTIAN: Oh, right, yeah, sorry. (TRUCK TURNING) 'Cause I love the things that you do So hold me close, don't let me go Oh no You see I, yes I love you and I think that you know Do you know? With your love light shining Every cloud's got a silver lining So hold me close, don't let me go (LAUGHING) (LAUGHING) We've gone wrong. If that role gets tougher Oh, I love you No, I'll never let you suffer 'Cause I love the things that you do So hold me close, don't let me go, Oh no You and me, yes our love it will grow and grow Do you know With your love light shining Every cloud has a silver lining So hold me close Hold me close Hold me close Don't let Me Go Hold me close Closer, yeah (SOMBER MUSIC) Every boy thinks he's special And every boy thinks he's someone When you get that little bit older You realize that you're no one Ooh yeah Ooh yeah Yeah Every boy thinks he's special Every boy thinks he's someone When you get that little bit older You realize that you're no one Yo man, did you run away From things you couldn't do Young man, don't you run away 'Cause you're not the only one Deal me the cards that will show me the light Take away dark and they show me the light Deal me the cards that will make it all right Deal me the cards that will show me the light Take away dark and they show me the light Deal me the cards that will make it all right (MYSTERIOUS MUSIC) |
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