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Ein Freund von mir (A Friend of Mine) (2006)
Ladies and gentlemen...
...we're about to give out the Golden Archer award... ... that is been handed each year to the most successful new achievent. I would like to welcome ... ... karl Blomwald. Thank you. insurance coverage for 200 new cars... ... during their transportation from the shop to the parking lot. The problem is, drivers are recruited from unemployment agancies. Conclusion: not a risk worth taking. There's a solution for everything. if we haven't found it yet it only meens we haven't thought of it. The airport office needs incurance Let's do it. We have to know the enemy. Someone from us will work there as a driver for a day. we have to form an opinion. Karl, will you please do it? Mr. Temblin draw us an analysis of the competitors. Excuse me mr.Nauman You want me to drive cars for a day? Yes maybe you have to do it. I need glasses. Here's the new taxing plan for automibiles. - Everything OK? - yes. If you're to do it you have to go. I called at the employment agency. The company will be interviewing people on 14:00. I wouldn't do it. You won the golden Archer, and now you'll drive cars around? Get it here! They don't wash our luxury cars before returning them! - What do want to do? - To drive cars. Why? I need the money. I don't beleive you. I want to take a break from the university. What are you studying? Theology. Really? Very good God's word. Sing me something. Something that comes from inside. - Sorry I can't - It's okay. I'm Fernandes. I'm the boss. If you sing, you don't get the job. I want responsible drivers, not rock stars. Only two places available for all the people here. You'll drive the best cars: W, ercedes... ... they even got two Lambrghini. What are they doing? You have to sing? Whatever you do, don't sing! Tell him you talk to god every night. To the tall guy? Thanks! God's man! Tommorrow be faster. - And wear comfortable clothes. - OK. Hi, how's it going? I've got two more cars. For tonight? You're killing me! I'll send you two drivers. But you'll pay their return tickets. Where the hell are you? I spoke to Fernandes The other car arrived half an hour ago. Here's your ticket. The plane leaves in 45 min. Great! You know why this huge metallic thing... ... full of seats airhostesses and people is able to fly? The air move faster on the top of the wing... The air comes from the front. The wing has a slope so the air goes faster Even if it hits the wing with the same speed It creates suction. And so we fly. Great isn't it? It's the same with sailing. The boat moves not only because the wind blows. The wind pulls the sail. It goes through the sail creating suction. - When we sail against the wind. - Exactly! You can sail against the wind. How great is that? Could you leave me alone for a while? For sure. Are you afraid of flying? No. Your angst is repressed memories. It causes panic, tachycardia, makes breathing difficult. You think it's a physical reaction but it's old traumas. Images and associations . They subconsciously cause internal turmoil. Yes, but I'm not scared of flying. Do you believe in god? No. Fernandez said you are a man of god. I studied theology for a while... Then you can't sleep with women! You mustn't touch them? Or caress them? - Not at all? - I read about it once. - I do whatever I want - Anything? - Whatever you want? - Yes - And you don't believe in God? - No. That's nice. - Do you believe in God? - Of course. Are you happy? - I don't know. - How Come? I can't tell if I'm happy or not. - Are you? - Definitely! For sure! What happened? Your car broke down? - I'll give you a lift - It's Ok. I'll get a cab. Come on. It'll be fun. Youre going to your girlfriend's or out with friends? Home. - Could we not talk? - Sure. No problem. Oh my god! Did I scare you; - Should we close the sunroof? - You see? You're like me! - Can't keep your mouth shut. - No, I'm jus cold. Why don't you say so? Here's a hat and a blanket. The roof is broken, but the car still runs It has a great gear box, Varimatic. Who's waiting for you at home? No one. That's her name? Hi NoOne, love! You want me to tell you why I'm happy? Give me half an hour and you'll know.. - Ten minutes. - Be exact. - Nine an a half. - Nine an a half seconds. We're in a 1972 DAF 66, weighing 620 kilos... Accelerating 50 Km/h in eight seconds... That means I have exactly... ...20 minutes and a half left. You look great. You can't marry us? This is my friend Karl. He's a priest. But he doesn't believe in god. My princess! Was I too much; - I have some cake. - Cake would be nice! I swear! I'll marry her. I have to marry her. Can't you help? You are a priest right? Thank you. It's good! Try it. - Tea? - Tea would be nice! Isn't she a sexy kitten? - Sexy kitten! - Cut it out! - Say it, sexy kitten! - Stop that! - C'mon! Say it! - I said stop!! - Say it!! - Ok... she's a sexy kitten. Really? How much left? How many minutes? - Thirteen. - Ok. - You're not gonna marry us? - You're crazy Hans. Plan B. Tea. - Where's Hans? - I don't know He disappeared? he's in the bathroom. That's my cup. Come here for a sec! Please! Not now! Why not? He's a friend. he has nothing to do all day.. What are you doing here? Frank, this is Karl. Karl is a friend of mine. We too are good friends as well. I didn't know you still had the key. That's why Im here. To give you the key of our old flat. Can I take my chair? You want some cake? Running things around here already, huh? Is this your DAF outside? - Is that your car? - Yes it's my DAF. - You don't know what car you have? - You mean the 1972 DAF. ...accelerating 50 Km/h in eight seconds. That's my car. That's it! i would close the sun roof. It's raining. Thank you. - Open the door! - It's open! - Where's the key? - Here. Are you completely nuts? You left me out there with that jerk? Stop laughing! What if he saw you? What would happen to Stelle? Your princess! Are you angry because you wanted to take a shower as well? You wanted to take a shower with me? we just met. I'm not sure I wanna see you naked yet. Oh, shut up! - Goodnight. - Goodnight. - Thanks for the ride. - No problem. Mrs Swartz? This is karl Blomwald. tell Mr Nauman... ...that I will busy today with the job he assigned me yesterday. Did you know that the earth is not around? It's flattened at the edges not a perfect sphere. Here! An invention of mine. Like it? My invention. Tastes good! The girls are waiting for the bus. Exactly. They're not just girls. They're girls waiting for the bus. Wave at them! Look at these cool guys with the VW Rabbit! The Rabbit is the coolest. It weighs1.100 kg. Hey isn't this Hans the inventor of coffee? yes but the other guy is cute too. He is... ...mysterious. Mysterious? I don't know. That's what she said. Fernandes wants to see you, now. You two, go get the cars! Move it! What's your problem Hans? - I'm just trying to be quick. - You'll lose this job quickly. Not only are we driving like crazy... It's totally legal in this country! It's the only thing we've got. No pyramids, no Eiffel Towers. What we've got it's not in a museum. You can only feel it. That's the greatest invention of all. The beauty of speed. Can't you see it's a traffic jam, stupid? Plate number: D-AD 9779. It's a palindrome. You can read it both ways. Like a rotator. Rotation? It's an alternate sum of numbers ... Not by adding them like 9+ 7 + 7 +9... ...but 9-7 + 7-9 witch can be divided by 11... ...the same with the original number. And... ...one... ...plus one... ...we have one. Is it okay if i drive the silver one? - They're both silver. - That one is dark grey. - Have you ever driven a Prsche; - No. So this is a whole new story. These are virgins! Never been driven before! The coolest sports cars in the world! When you dream of driving... ...do you drive a silver or a grey car? - I don't know. - You don't dream of driving? - I'll take the grey. - Wait! Lets play it out. The winner gets the silver one. The winner will choose. No he will get the silver one. Rock, scissors, paper. And what else? - Water? - Fire. Water. Rock, scissors, paper! - Fire! - Doesn't burn the scissors. No but it can bend it. What are you doing there? Get a move one! - Will I drive it then? - Fuck off! I've got the speeding record. You were first, but I got the speeding record. Very funny! But it's you who came second. Let's see how fast can you go. Twenty... Thirty! Thirty! Faster! You can do it! That's how fast you can go! Thirty one... Not bad... Twenty. Try harder, Hans. Thirty one! Thirty three! Thirty five! Thirty five! I won. Now I have to make a wish. What time is it? - Nine. - Nine is great. What are you doing? I dropped something. - On the car floor. - Yes. And why are you naked? Because... Stelle arrived from London. Wanna get a coffee? Can I have your clothes since you're wearing mine? No problem. See you in a while. Could I try your uniform some time as well? Certainly. Try this. My invention. - A new one? - Brand new! You invented this? What do you think? - It's great. - A dream. I'm an inventor. What are you? I can read minds. I can read anybody's mind. What is this man thinking He's Boris Lepowski. During the flight he was certain... ...that the flight attendant as his high school crush. For 12 hours he was contemplating talking to her. But he didn't. Now the Bunny bear is having a coffee. That's the nickname his wife gave him. - What's hers? - Bernt. Right. Lets not talk for a while. Listen... Close your eyes... Keep them closed... I've lost touch... ...with the world... And I've lost... ...so much time... he haven't heard from me in such a long time... He might even thinks... ...that I am dead... How's the company? What's your impression of it? Is it worth it? - I think I lost my report. - Excuse me? I have nothing to show you. I don't understand. Your previous work has been excellent. Accurate... ...simple and to the point. No one of your colleagues could do it like you did. You think I don't know that? But when you have to present it you fail. It's like you're not even present! Your work is perfect but you're like a visitor here. Making you work as a driver was a challenge. I insulted you in order to wake up, to defend yourself, to react. But once again, nothing happened. Move! Wake up! Or tell me what you want. If I don't hear from you, you'll hear from me. - You understand? - Yes. Be careful! The disk wheels cost 1.000 Euro each. What a day! Where's the key? I have it. Why do you have it? You don't receive returning vehicles. - Do I leave it here? - Yes I will take it. - Was there any problems? - No, everything was fine. - How do I get to terminal 2? - That way. I won't make it. Leave me here. You have to do it on your own. Go and leave me behind. You can make it on your own. i won't make it! If I was a woman I'd had great tits. Small but very nice. You'd have a nice ass. Are we friends? Of course! Why you ask? About your ass? Are you in love with Stelle? Yes and no. I thought you wanted to marry her. I love all girls. I didn't say I wanted to marry only her. In any case she's going to Madrid. What is she doing here? She's a flight attendant! What a job! the fly in the sky... ...wearing those wonderful uniforms. If I was a girl... ...I would be a flight attendant. What about you? A nun? Or an ass model? I haven't checked the car in yet. You wanna see Stelle a bit? - Ready? - One more time. Faster now. Hans told me you're going to Madrid. No, to Barcelona. My father lives there. For how long? For a couple of months. He works in a museum. Maybe I'll get a job there. Do you speak Spanish? Yes, but with a funny accent. My father is from Peru. You speak very well. I took classes there for two weeks. Then you will know a lot. You both speak Spanish? Say something? Like what? Let's say you argue in Spanish. Say a nasty word. Asshole, scum! Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch! You took my space! Your space? You mean parking space! My space! The lady comes along... ... and thinks that the world was made for her! Of course! Firstly, the world was made for me! Secondly... ... a gentleman puts the lady not the car first! What are you? A tool? What's that? Now tell her something nice. Is your father a thief? Why? Your eyes are like stars. Someone stole them from heaven. And what do you see? What? You see me, or not? Yes. Then say it. I'm in love with you. I think about you day and night. I'm going now. What do you want? What? What do you want? You think I can kiss your girlfriend? What's wrong? You like it. You like me too. Don't forget your stolen car! It's there. Very nice. The carpet is not included? The view is fantastic. It's great to have abed here. I really like it! the kitchen... Nice and modern. No repairing required. Great. You can move right in. It's... ... quite roomy! Give me a hug. You fell in love with my princess but it's okay. She likes you, you like her. You like me and I like you. Can I show you something? Sure. - Nice wind! - This way. Here? Now? This is my office. I work in an insurance company. I took the job because my boss challenged me. He made me work for peanuts. You are funny Hans. But you don't see the world like it is.. I may be no fun, but I know how life works. I have a real job and a real life. Meeting you was a pure coincidence. We don't know each other. And we are not friends. - What kind of car you drive? - A VW Passat. - And you? - An Audi . - And you Mr Nauman? - An Alpha Romeo. Very nice. Give me your keys I'll go get one from the parking. And decide what I'll do with them. Go for a drive with the Alpha? Sell the Passat or crash the TT into the wall? Why? Because I felt like it. And no one will know I did it. It's not possible because you'd never would have given me your key. Yes you would. I wear the uniform of a car rental company. . Go to the place where the drop off the cars. Airport please.. Could I sit here? Your clothes are not to my liking... ...but the work you did is. Congratulations. I took the car. And I never studied theology. - What's wrong? - Did you see Hans? - He got fired. - Why? Something about a stolen car. I think he got a new job at the airport. Look there! Lets talk to them. Let's enjoy the moment. Aren't women the most beautiful thing? I love them all! And you know what? Every day is like this. This is the best job in the world. - Can I show you something? - Of course, show me something. This is for you. You stole it? I rented for a week. Are you stupid? This is the best you could do? You think I'd drive this stupid car? You got it all wrong. Come on! Make a wish. If the ship blows it's horn it will come true. That's perfect man! I used to come here as a kid. I used to think that my wishes would come true if I heard a horn. When I was 15 I realized the always horn her. How old were you? They way you irritate me, it's like I've known you for ever. You're doing a great job! You're the crazy one, not me! I'm sorry. I didn't know your wish was that important. And if you hear a horn, it will maybe come true. I do hope so. Would you come with me to Barcelona? What for? Cause I want to see Stelle again. And because you're a friend of mine. Are you gonna be happy? Yes. OK Hey, wait! If it honks in the next 3 minutes you go on your own with my DAF. If not we'll go together. OK? OK Could you get some more coffee? |
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