Some people are so beautiful
it makes them sick.
The delicate child
that takes the whole world in,
and who cannot
close itself off from anything.
I have a friend like that.
I once promised that no matter
what happened to her,
one day I would pass her story on.
You must promise me that, she said.
Promise me that she who comes
after me, learns who I am.
Or who I was.
I promised her that.
I promised to tell her story
like she would have told it herself.
Had she could?
I'll have that and 20 cigarettes.
We'll be there soon.
- They won't let us in.
- Don't worry. They will.
Are you sober?
What kind of question is that?
You're laughing?
You're in a really bad mood.
"You and me", mother!
How do I look?
- Need a hand?
- Don't be rude.
- Hi.
- Welcome.
I'm sorry we're a bit late.
There was a queue at the gas station.
Look, Lea!
Look how big she is now.
Give her some time,
then you can hold her.
Look!
- It's Lea.
- Not Lea. Mummy.
We don't smoke inside the house.
Because of the child.
Cake?
I can change her diaper
and let you talk for a while.
Change diaper!
She looks so sad. In her eyes.
She's mostly quite happy.
Yeah...
Do you want to come along
and watch him change her diaper?
This isn't so easy for Lea.
I can come and watch.
Twinkle, twinkle little star...
She's been so terribly
nervous for this.
She hardly slept last night.
I think it's time for Lea to leave.
Mummy loves you, sweetie.
- You shouldn't have brought her here.
- We've waited for three months!
Do you know how long three months is
when you are 1 year old?
Do you know what a big part
of your life that is?
Did you know I wasn't
allowed at her birthday?
Yes, you do know!
You were there.
I asked Lea what
the first thing she can remember is.
I remember mum's laugh,
she answered.
And her smell.
I think I saw mum the way dad did.
You're so beautiful.
Come. You mustn't get sick.
There was something about her
I couldn't quite grasp.
As if, it was her
that needed taking care of.
Once upon a time there was
a princess.
And then it started raining.
And everyone got wet.
Then horses came flying in the air.
Are you sleeping, daddy?
God exists in all things, dad said.
God is a thief, I thought.
The thief that steals the very best.
Do you want to give daddy a hug?
We'll be back soon.
It was quiet for a long time.
One day Ole came.
He had been mum's old boyfriend.
They had been engaged once.
God had sent someone
to help me look after her.
- Pretty flaps.
- Flaps? They're called lashes.
Come, come!
She misses her dad.
And you miss him too.
You promised to get rid of his things
when I moved in.
They're just gifts I've received.
What difference does it make?
Everything here reminds you of him.
You're even wearing his jacket.
There will always be things
that remind us of him.
We had a child together.
Right.
Take off his jacket.
Take his jacket off!
Madelene, I didn't mean it.
It hurts when you
go around with his jacket.
Go to bed, Ole.
Let's talk tomorrow.
Ole, are you all right?
What have you drawn, Lea?
Can I see it?
Is that your cat?
You didn't quite finish it.
Once upon a time there was
a princess who had a horse.
And then it started raining.
Once upon a time, there was princess.
Then it started raining.
Everything will be fine, sweetie.
Madelene?
It's going to be all right.
I called her Violet.
The violets are the softest.
I got her from my dad, and
I promised him to take care of her.
Um, always said Violet
was run over by the train.
Ask me again
about the first thing, I remember.
What always comes back
on top of everything else?
The smell of blood and hard liquor.
When Ole was drinking,
I lost what I had.
Dear angel.
Violet is coming to you now.
You must take care of her.
She doesn't like to sleep alone.
Dear God.
I wish I could fly.
I don't know why you sent us Ole.
- Do you love me?
- You've been drinking.
Get off, I want to get up.
Do you love me?
For fuck's sake!
Do you love me?!
No! Please don't!
No!
I grow up without anyone seeing it.
Without anyone asking me how I am.
I'm thinking that if I have a child,
I'm going to see that child.
Other people my age
go home with each other.
They have sleepovers.
They fall in love.
The boys want something from me.
I can feel that.
But I have nothing to say.
I'm filled with her.
I want mum to come back.
Come.
You have to be nice to mum.
I am nice to her.
Yes?
"...eating cakes or sandwiches.
Rarely more than one at each table."
"It seemed quite lonely, and since I
hadn't spoken to anyone in a while,
I wouldn't mind exchanging
a few words with someone."
"I thought about how to go about it."
"The more I studied the faces,
the more difficult it seemed."
"It was like their eyes were blank.
How depressing the world has become!"
"But I wouldn't try to be nice
unless someone tried to talk to me."
Yes. Thank you, Lars.
- Lea?
- May I go to the toilet?
You just got here.
I feel bad.
Perhaps you should have stayed home.
Tonje, please continue.
"So I kept thinking. That helps."
"Soon I knew what to do.
I dropped the wallet to the floor."
"I pretended it was by accident.
It landed beside the chair."
Give me some tissue paper.
Go to recess.
A little more paper.
Off you go.
Are you sure
there's nothing I can do for you?
I'm fine.
My doctor says I'll grow out of it.
Get well soon.
Bye.
Mummy?
Forgive me, Madelene.
Mummy!
Perhaps everything would have
been different if I were his child.
That it would have been different
if I wasn't between them.
Perhaps sometimes the love
between a man and a woman
has no room for children.
Hello?
Can you hear me?
- Mummy!
- Your mother is in the hospital.
What happened at home
is between Ole and me?
These people may want
to separate you and me.
Take you away from me.
Make you live with somebody else.
I cannot lose you.
Hi. I've brought Gro
from the crisis centre.
The doctor has informed me
about what's happened.
How are you holding up?
A couple of days
and I'm back on my feet.
We'll just have to
make the best of it.
I understand
this is not the first time.
He has never laid hands on me before.
This is so serious
that we recommend you press charges.
No one should have to live
under such conditions.
But he was drunk.
He would never do this otherwise.
I'm here to help you.
We don't think it's justifiable
for you to go home today
without getting help from
the crisis centre and the police.
I don't want the police
to get involved.
Lots of women and children
move to secret addresses.
Mainly to stay safe.
And to get some distance
and think about things.
I don't think that's necessary.
How are you doing amid all this, Lea?
We'll be fine. Right?
It was you who found mummy, right?
What's a secret address?
It's not for us, Lea.
Then we have to move to a new place
and go to a new school and all.
Without Ole?
Only you and mummy.
They're only trying to help us.
I think I have to lie down for a bit.
That day mummy promised me that
everything was going to be all right.
As soon as she said it,
I feel asleep.
And I slept.
When I woke up, Henrik was there.
You need someone to take care of you.
Someone had sent me Henrik.
I know you want to kiss me.
I just know it.
Along with Henrik came you. Sonja.
You were surrounded
by a special glow.
Don't let go.
Never let go, okay?
He asked me
if there was anything else, I needed.
As if, he knew
I was missing something.
I can fly.
I'm learning to fly.
The knot inside my chest untangles.
Reality is no longer real.
Close the door.
He's after me.
Madelene!
I just want to talk to you.
Don't worry.
He'll soon be gone.
Madelene!
Madelene.
- Can I sleep here tonight?
- I'll get your duvet.
- I think we should move.
- Move?
- Far away from them.
- I'm the only one she has.
This is for the window.
I can put in a new one.
I'm sorry.
She's awake.
I wasn't afraid of Ole anymore.
I saw who he was.
That he was the scared one.
She should have chosen another.
As a child I often thought
that he was the child of the family.
I think she believed it would pass,
that he would change.
Finally she wasn't
afraid of him anymore.
Mummy, who never gives up on anyone.
Except herself.
- I can take you home if you like.
- There's no need.
Hey, sweetie!
Give her rice porridge.
That's her favorite.
When will you be back?
- Fueled and ready.
- Thanks.
We'll be home around 2 or 3.
- Bye.
- Have fun!
- What can you do?
- Oral only, with condom.
- How much?
- 500.
Sonja...
Sonja!
I can't take care of her anymore.
Don't say things like that.
- You are her mother.
- I'm addicted to heroin.
I think she'll be better off
with someone else.
Sonja is afraid.
She's anxious all the time.
She knows I'm not there for her.
I can help you with her.
You just have to give up drugs.
I can't do it, mum.
So you're giving up your child
in order to do drugs?
I don't want her
to grow up being afraid.
If there was one thing
I could change...
It would be the day we went
to the red light district.
I don't know where it started.
Where the boundaries were erased.
Or if they were ever there.
- I'll just suck someone and we'll...
- Listen to yourself!
I only know that
it was my suggestion.
And that once I had said it,
that I can do that,
Henrik was lost from me.
Are you here?
You're crying.
I always cry when I'm on drugs.
Go away!
Get the hell away from me!
I'm not fit to be a mother.
I'm addicted to heroin.
I want someone else
to take care of her.
- Are you Lea Larsen?
- Yes.
We're from Child Welfare.
We'll take over your child now,
and set up a meeting for you.
You can't just take Sonja now.
Henrik is at work.
We have to find
a good way to do this.
- Hello. We're from Child Protection.
- What's going on?
- We can't do this. We need help.
- Have you lost your mind?
You know we'll never see her again.
Yes, Child Protection can help us.
Mummy will come and get you soon.
She's going away for a little while.
Then I'll come and get you.
Yes, look at that.
I'll never forgive you for this.
She needs the light on at nights.
Rice porridge before bedtime.
Her teddy is in the pram.
She must have it when she sleeps.
She likes to be rocked to sleep.
She doesn't like loud noises.
She's never been yelled at.
You're not allowed to do that.
You just don't give up your child!
Yes, sometimes you do.
I can't fly anymore.
Taking heroin is as loud
as a human being can scream:
Help!
I need you to see me.
I no longer know what love is.
As a child, I knew.
And for a long time
I trusted it would return.
That the nature of love is such
that when you really need it,
it shows up.
We're moving, Lea.
To a secret address.
- Just me and you?
- Just me and you.
I've made pancakes.
You can bring them to school.
You're the most
precious thing I have.
Pretty flaps.
"You and me", Lea.
"You and me".
Who's that?
Perhaps they're like us.
This... You can try it on!
Lovely!
You've grown, my little Lea.
I heard her laughter again.
I saw her looking others in the eye.
I hoped it would do something to her.
- Hi!
- Hello.
But that was before Stine told me
what longing is.
How her mother
couldn't handle being alone.
- Have you run away before?
- Many times.
Mum! Mum!
Ole is coming!
Ole is coming!
We have to hurry...
He is coming to get us.
I can't bear being here anymore.
I have to look after her.
The day mum chose Ole over me,
I saw that she was a stranger.
Again, I thought that there was
something about her, I didn't grasp.
All families have secrets.
Grandpa came every summer.
I liked grandpa.
He was a mischievous grown up.
Mum always kept an eye on him.
I figured she looked after grandpa
like I looked after her.
Grandpa is gone now.
He probably thought he took
mum's secret with him to the angels.
It's that secret some mothers
keep from their children.
I know now that there is nothing
I could have done differently.
Mum hardly ever smiling
had nothing to do with me.
I came to a good place
where they called heroin "the angel".
The angel that comes
and lifts you away.
They asked me
what heroin does for me.
They said you can't take away
someone's heart medication
without replacing it
with something else.
Your forced rehab ends tomorrow.
After that, you're here voluntarily.
I know.
What do you think?
Should we call Hilde?
And ask them
if we can come for a visit.
You and I?
What about mum?
Some children are there for their
parents in a way they never should.
They had to,
because they couldn't opt out.
What does it mean
to choose your own child?
Could it be to let the child
grow up with someone else?
So that one day
she can to choose herself?
Hi.
- Mummy.
- Yes!
Mummy coming back.
Yes, mummy is always coming back.
Look.
How are you doing?
Your room is ready,
if you would like to come home.
All my things are at the rehab.
You can get them tomorrow.
Your mother really wants you
to come home today.
I miss you so much.
Mum, I love you very, very much.
But I really have to go.
Take care of yourself.
Some people are so beautiful
that it makes them sick.
When somebody you love
wants to die, what do you do?
I make a movie, and say:
Life. You must hang on to it.
There's someone who needs you.