|
|
Ernest et Célestine (2012)
What's that?
What are you trying to draw, Clestine? A bear. And what's this? That's a mouse. It's his friend. Your drawing's wrong. No it's not wrong. Yes, it is. - No. - Yes! - No. - Yes! No possible way that could be a mouse. Fine, what story shall I tell you tonight? The Big Bad Bear? Yes! The Big Bad Bear. In winter, the Big Bad Bear sleeps. And when he wakes up... When he wakes up, he's hungry EXACTLY! And when he's hungry... He'll eat anything? Absolutely anything! Tires, lamps, bicycles, cars, houses! He scarfs down... Pardon! Eh... Eats absolutely ANY-thing! Out of all those things, what does the Big Bad Bear prefer? A little mouse? A little mouse! One little mouse? Hah !... Ten... a hundred... a thousand little mice! Baked "in parchment", skewered, pan fried, in bouillon, and even raw. Totally raw? COM-PLETE-LY RAW! And still alive, wearing their little coats and little back-packs. That's how he prefers them. Raw, and still alive. But... are you sure he's that mean? Do you know the story of the little mouse who didn't believe in the Big Bad Bear? EVERYONE told her: "Watch out for the Big Bad Bear" But she thought she was clever, that naughty little... little punk! Pardon. That naughty little... ...naughty little RASCAL! She did not believe in the Big Bad Bear, she said: "No, the Big Bad Bear" "is just a story that Madame la Grise" "tells us as she drinks her eternal chamomile". But she was wrong, because one day, a burg... You did this, Clestine? Believe me, children. It's only in fables that bears can be friends of mithe!... Th... th, thth ugh !... What'd she say? No idea! What'd you say? I said I don't know. Quiet, let's listen. Why, can you understand her? Perfectly! Baloney! You don't understand anything. Who, me?! Say that again! Even when she makes sen... - Who do you think...?! - Stop! Stop! Thilence! Thilence! Back to your beds! Silence! [ Ernest & Celestine ] Based on the works of Gabrielle Vincent. (Publisher: Editions Casterman) Atchoo! Nice tweety, come here. My little tweety, come here. My little tweety. Come back here, you rotten scoundrel! Come back! Clestine! Alright, we can go. Hold on. We're off! [ THE SUGAR KING ] Lon lost his first tooth. Poor dear. Not a trace of sugar. A real pearl. Don't cry, dear. It's not serious. I'll put your tooth on the night table, and the little mouse will pass by. Little mouse? What little mouse? That nice little mouse in the fables. She'll pass by as you sleep. She'll take your tooth, and leave a coin in its place. Hm, a coin! How much? A big coin! Your first business deal. The beginning of wealth. Provided you invest wisely, of course. I've never heard any mention, of this little mouse of fable. That's because you hadn't lost any teeth yet. Baloney! If she's a mouse in a fable, then, she doesn't exist! Oh no? How do the teeth disappear then? They disappear ... Alright, come. It's best if you go to sleep. This way the mouse can come take your tooth and replace it with a beautiful coin. How much? One Sou. Two! Oh, that's great! That's my boy, alright! Come dear, beddy-byes. - Aah, a mouse! - Yeah! Mouse? where? Among the stuffed toys! Out of there now! Catch her, papa! No mice allowed here! Under that, Georges! Where is she? There she is! Get out of there! Get out of there, nasty animal! Hey, my tooth! My coin! Give me my Sou ! Nasty little vermin! Shh, less noise, Georges, our little guy's sleeping. Georges? Trash. # Ernest, Ernest, Miserable Ernest # If I remain broke, I'll probably croak # 'Cause I'm hungry, I'm starving, I'll eat anything # I'll eat anything, What's worse I am freezing # Ernest ate nothing since Before the Flood # It's true I lost weight, And it rankles my blood # I'm loose in my hide, My underpants ride # So drop an old copper Inside Ernest's old topper # Ernest, Ernest, Miserable Ernest # Let's see if your menu # Can fatten my sinews # I'm sure that if you Will give me a Sou # You'll feel better too # And also meee... # Ernest, Ernest, Miserable Ernest # I'm feathery light, I reluctantly diet # A mushroom, a wiener, Or a waffle for dinner # The waffle's delicious, Greasy and precious # It's running away # But I want it to stay # Just a little gesture For Ernest's digestion. Come away. # Won't you be charitable And load up my table # Just a little gesture For Ernest's digestion. # Some good mutton stew, And sausage with chitlins # Before I am through, Or they jail me for fiddlin' You have 5 days to pay. I'M HUNGRY! No! Don't eat me! Don't eat me! But I'm hungry. What's your name? Ernest. I'm Clestine. We need to have a serious talk. You can't eat me. In Fairy Tales bears eat mice. Don't tell me you believe in Fairy Tales! You're not that lame! Yeah but, I'm hungry! You're hungry! You think a little mouse like me will fill you up? Look at me. I'm skin and bones Anyway it's very bad for your health to eat garbage. Garbage cans have every disease in the world. The flu, typhus, hepatitis, cholera... Ernest, you wanna catch every disease in the world? No, I know, but... Let's have a look, cold and wet, glassy eyes, dull fur, How are your ears? Your teeth? Oh l l! Oh I say! What, am I sick? Not yet, but you will be. Listen, Ernest. I know a place where you can regain your health and eat things that are good for you. Marshmallows? Marshmallows, hard candy, nougats, caramels, marzipan, marshmallows, alright? Agreed! There! Help yourself, Ernest. Wait! There! Bon apptit! Clestine! Thanks! It's alright. Attention! ...and one! And two! Enjoy your free sample! Hey, open your eyes... Sorry, Madame, I'm in a hurry. Hasn't started yet. They said to wait here. Smells like garbage around here. Hurry, or the Big Bad Bear will eat you raw! Come, follow me. How many teeth did you recover? Seven. Not terrific. I got twelve. Twelve! Usually I do much better. It's far from my best score. You, Clestine? How many? Me? Eh well... Stop there. Relax, you're a bit stressed. This will hurt a lot. Come. Here, Madame. 12 teeth. Very good. I can do better, you know. Yeah, alright, next. Only 7 ? Yes, but three incisors. Check out the quality. Yes, I'll take one. This one's too short. Thanks. Let's try this. Repeat after me. The nasty bear steps on our heads. The natthy bear thepth on our headth. Not quite right. Now? The thnatthy thear thepth thon thour theadth. Permit me. Try now. - The nashty bear... - Stop! Go on: "The nasty bear..." The nasty bear steps on our heads. Et voil. Dexterity, my dear fellow. Dexterity... WHAT, only one? All night for one tooth? Yes but, I was trapped in a trash can. How'd you get out? It was a bear... A what? No, nothing. May we know what's in the sack? So, this is how you spend your internship, Clestine? You draw instead of collect. You'll never become a dentist like this. But I don't wanna be a dentist. I see. You're 50 teeth behind, You lost too many points. You need motivation. Come with me. You see, Clestine? we rodents, are not bears. Our force does not come from our mass, our muscles, our claws, nor our terrible jaws. NO ! We are delicate beings, subtle and refined. Our whole civilisation, all we achieved over centuries... we owe to WHAT ? What? What do we owe it to? Our incisors. Our WHAT ? Our incisors. Our incisors! Correct! They're the foundation of our society. Thanks to them we built the greatest cities, gnawed through the biggest rocks, built the most complicated machines. We diverted the GREATEST RIVERS IN THE WORLD! All that thanks to our cute, precious, delicate, inestimable, perfect, incisive, incisors! But what happens Clestine, if this poor rodent loses an incisor? He dies. He suffers abominable agonies. He can no longer eat or talk. He dies. Consumed by hunger, and gnawed by solitude. Back to square one, Clestine. What's the best tooth to replace the incisor of a toothless rodent? A bear's tooth. Exactly, a bear's tooth is the most sturdy. And the easiest to collect, since stupid bear-cubs leave them under their pillows. So, Clestine, you'll go back up, and get more teeth from those little idiots. You will not come down, Clestine, until you collected 50 teeth. 50 teeth, Clestine. 50 teeth. Buck up, Clestine. OK, you coming? Yes, coming, coming! Hello, hello, children. Are you all fine? Yes! I'd like a cream pastry . Yes, cream pastry. Hello, I'd like a box of candy. Yes, a box of candy. Yes. 5 marshmallow suckers. Yes, 5 marshmallow suckers. A box of marshmallows. A box of marshmallows, coming up! Some barley-sugars. Yes, voil, voil, barley-sugars. A lemon ice cream, please, papa! A lemon ice cream, to go. Hold on . C'mere, you! No sugary sweets, Lon. I told you 100 times. Never! But papa, why... Dont but papa me! I forbid the tiniest bit of sugar. You wanna carry your teeth in your pocket? You'll end up at your mother's boutique there, with your rotten teeth, is that what you want? Scram, now. We'll talk tonight. Mr Rossoner, hello! How are you today? Fine, fine. I need a tooth to eat my nougat with. Of course. Which do you need? Incisor? Canine? No, I need a premolar. Let me think. Ah voil! I have just the model you need. A first rate premolar. Try it. I'll take it, it's perfect. Thank you, Madame. - Voil my little teddy bear. - Thanks. What's your pleasure, my little chickadee? Barley sugars? Candyfloss? Colored candy? You got marshmallows? Marshmallows? Of course! I've run out. No, no. Don't cry, I have more in stock. Don't cry. Don't move, I'll be back. Be right back! What the f are you doing? Thief! Thief! I'll call the police. Ernest? My marshmallows! They're MY marshmallows! Police! Police! Thief! He stole all my bonbons. Here. Here he is! Here! What's going on? Ernest? This morning in the square you busted our eardrums, now you're doing break-ins ? How did you manage to get in? A little mouse who... A little what? I was hungry and it smelled good, so there! Alright, let's go. Let's load him up. Get in. My marshmallows! My marshmallows! Gimme! Let me go! My marshmallows! No respect for the rules of commerce, shameful! Ernest, Ernest, you want... You want me to free you, Ernest? If I free you, can you do me a little favour? And a big favour Ernest, If I free you, will you? An enormous favour, Ernest, If I free you, a huge favour? The biggest favour in the world? Of course, Clestine, the biggest favour in the world. You want more peas, pumpkin? No, I want candy. Lon, don't start this again. We explained a hundred times You can't eat candy. Why? Commerce dictates, my boy. On one side of the street, Papa rots teeth. On the other, Mama replaces bad teeth. When you grow up, both shops will be yours. It means you'll double your fortune, my man. If you smile at the customers, of course. As my old dad used to say. The beauty of a smile, is the health of the teeth. It's easy to make a fortune, you must sugar other peoples teeth, not yours. Understand? Yeah. I have to be up early tomorrow, everyone off to bed! The new delivery will replace the damage, there's everyting I'll... Anyway, this couln't happen in my store. Who would ever think of stealing teeth? This way, Ernest, hurry! We're here! Fine. Stop! Too much noise. Do it quieter. Stop! Quieter, you'll wake everybody. Voil! Ernest! Wait! Good, where are your teeth? There must be box where he stores them. Is that it, there? Yes, that's it! I've got a lock-pick. Leave it, I got it. You got it? How? Non, Ernest! No, not like that! Stop. It's open. Are you crazy? It's open, isn't it? Ernest, I can' carry this alone! Oh, no! I'm sleepy! You promised! Afterwards we're even, you won't ask any more favours? We're even. I'll see if anyone's around, wait. You can come out... Ernest, wait! A bear goes to bed early, Clestine, especially in winter. 492 canines plus 750 premolars... Clestine! I had forbidden you to come down until... Clestine! It's incredible! It's fabulous! Look at that! How did you...? How did she...? Bravo, Clestine! I'm proud of you! Allez, long live Clestine! Long live Clestine! Long live Clestine! Long live Clestine! Clestine, Clestine... The B-big... B-bad Bear! Ernest? Clestine! Do you know this... this... And you brought him here ?! And she doesn't believe in the Big Bad Bear! Everyone told her: watch out for the Big... Clestine, Clestine, I, I... This way, Ernest! Quickly! Come, Ernest! Jump! There he is! Ernest, that way! Pardon! Sorry! Sorry! That tunnel leads to the exit. Come on! That way! Left, Ernest, left! I had locked it up safe, what a catastrophe! Look! I'm sure I had locked it. - A mouse! - Where? In my husband's van! Stop him! - Missed him! - Incompetent! Why, Ernest? Why did you stay down below? Are you crazy? I fell asleep. It's not my fault! It's mine, maybe? Exactly! You should have never made me come down. I couldn't carry the sack alone! You should have walked me to the exit! You said you'd find it yourself! Did I say that? Ernest, give up! You can't get away! Charge! Pull over to the side! OK. If you insist. Don't let go, Ernest! Goes without saying, guys. A lamp-post? Ernest, give up, we'll hound you forever! I'll leave you now, I'm going right. [ NATIONAL POLICE ] United in effort Voil! So, good bye Clestine. What do you mean, "good bye Clestine"? I'm home. What about me? You - I don't know. Me - I'm home. You can go home too. Ernest, I no longer have a home. You saw, they chased me off, cursed me! Clestine, we're even. You said it yourself? You freed me, in exchange, I did you the biggest favour in the world. But Ernest... Voil. Now, we're even. Even-Steven. But the situation's changed, Ernest. No mice in the house. Ernest, will you listen? Not at all! No mice in the house! Never! You let one in, and thousands follow. That's how you people are, every bear knows this. Alley-oop! But Ernest. I said, No mice in the house! Never! But Ernest, you must understand, things have changed. No mice in the house! But! No buts! Ernest! No way! Come on, really ! No... mice... in my house! Thanks. Clestine, I... Impossible to get rid of a mouse. Every bear knows this too. Unless you kill her, of course. Your chocolate's burning. Do you want to kill me? With a broom, it's impossible. I'm too fast. There's the old mousetrap trick. Not so easy either. We've been acquainted with the mousetrap for quite some time, you know. There's also poison, of course Or the glue mouse trap. Very cruel. The poor mouse walks on it, and her paws get stuck. No way out. She gets so scared, her heart races so fast it explodes! You want that, Ernest? To explode my heart? Oh no, Clestine. But a bear and a mouse, don't jive, it's not... Not what? Not proper? Just not done? Bears up above, mice down below. Is that it? Well yeah! It's always been like that.Voil! OK, Ernest. You got a cellar? Yes, I... OK. So, me in the cellar, you here! But... No buts. Bye, Ernest. You better stay up here! You better stay down below, Clestine! I don't want to see or hear you! My chocolate! There she is! The one who didn't believe in the Big Bad Bear! Everybody told her: "Watch out for the Big Bad Bear". It's a nightmare. Don't be afraid, Clestine. Clestine, I'm not the nightmare. I'm Ernest. Ernest, I'm cursed. Cursed. What's this nonsense? Yes, I'm cursed. I'm alome in the world. Nobody loves me and I have no home. Oh l l. What about me? Does anybody love me? Did you do this, Clestine? It's wonderful! Looks exactly like me. A Clestine who can do that, isn't alone in the world. You're a great artist. Not exactly. That's why I'm alone. They don't want me to draw. They want me to be a dentist. Oh yeah. I know that well. I wanted to do theater and music, and tell stories. But no, can you imagine. The wanted me to be a judge, like my father, my grand-father, my uncle and my great-uncle. Go make music somwhere else, Ernest. Ernest you're busting my eardrums with your stories. Stop singing, Ernest. You'd better learn law. Look. No, Clestine, You'd better stay below. I don't want to see or hear you. Isn't this a nice portrait? Come with me, Clestine. Get your paints, and come! We'll build you a studio, Clestine. A painter's studio. A real one! That'll be my first real painting. What'll you paint? The Big Bad Bear, let's say. There! Nice and fierce...Like that. Ah! Voil. - Aarrh! Raise your foot. - Aarrh? Perfect! Don't move, Ernest. Stay fierce. Can I see? I told you not to move! Ernest. You sick? Just a little cold. Off to bed, tout de suite! You must drink, Ernest. When you have a fever, you must drink a lot. Leave me alone! Help! Ernest, calm down. I'm not the nightmare. I'm Clestine. Any marshmallows left? Of course. Don't eat it all, huh? 'Course not, fatso. You promise? Sworn promise. Good night, Ernest. Good night. Hey Clestine, you know what? I'm well! Look at this! I bet you can't juggle four. Ah, you think so? Again, Ernest! Come on! Summoned by the presiding judge, the police chief declared the robbers... Think they're talking about us? And their arrest would not be far off, it's only a question of... Oh no, they forgot about us. We will not rest until we find Ernest and his accomplice Clestine. We will flush them out of their hideout... ..the time it takes, months if need be, but we'll find them sooner or later. Their crimes cannot go unpunished. Once we capture them, we'll make sure to deliver them to justice! Ernest will be properly judged! Clestine will get the punishment she deserves. The members of the tribunal are aware of this affair. I'm sure... that the judgement will fit Clestine's abominable crime! Ernest will be judged very severely. The sentence will be irrevocable for Ernest and Clestine! Did you call me, Ernest? No, it's nothing, Clestine. Everything's alright. Everything's alright. What progress you've made, Clestine! Yup, I'm fed up drawing the Big Bad Bear. Oh yeah? You know of a more interesting subject? I'd like to paint a winter landscape. You'll need to wait for spring. Bears do that very well, wait for spring. The snow will have melted. Clestine wants to paint snow Clestine wants to paint snow OK artist, get to work! Thanks Ernest. Ernest let me show you "Winter" In music it should sound something like this One and two, one and... Clestine Ernest the van! What about the van? It's like a big red stain. If they see it they'll find us. Only one thing left to do, Clestine Ernest did you see the animals Yeah I saw them. Don't you want to see then up close? No I see them fine from here. Clestine, come let's go now, come. ...active search. We won't rest until we find Ernest, the thief and his accomplice Clestine That's that. Yes. a long time. We appeal to all witnesses... Don't worry Clestine. They'll never find us. police are still actively searching for the two malefactors, He won't rest until he finds them. What's happening? - The mouse from the fable? Georges! Go see what it is. Oh my van.! Aah, my shop! What's this? Paint? Ernest!... Lucienne call the police! I know where Ernest is! Clestine! What sunshine this morning! What a grumpy Big Bad Bear! The Big Bad Bear's not awake yet. He could eat me, this Big Bad Bear. Good idea then I could go back to sleep. OK, let's feed the Big Bad Bear his breakfast. This way I can stay alive one more day. That's good! Sleep!... Sleep, with such lovely sunshine! Ernest come see! The cellar. You have to hide in the cellar. What about you? You have to hide too. Don't worry I have a plan. A plan? Clestine, do you know what you're doing? Don't worry, Ernest! Clestine. Here he is! Where is Ernest? Uncle Ernest? He went to get some honey in town, and said he'd come back tomorrow, voil. For the last time, Clestine. Where is Ernest? Very well. You know what to expect. For the last time, Ernest. Where is Clestine? Alright. You know what to expect. Release! Read all about Big Scary Ernest! Buy MOUSE WEEKLY! All about the bear's scandal and his accomplice Clestine! There ! It's him ! - Where? - There ! Look! The trial begins. Bring in the accused. Clestine. Look at that! Accused, rise and state your name. Clestine. Clestine. Can you tell us whereabouts of one named Ernest? What? you won't tell us where is Clestine? Very well, you'll be tried twice! Once for what you did, and once for what she did! Clestine? What did Clestine do wrong? She's done nothing at all. At all? Nothing at all? Bringing a mad bear among us? You call that nothing at all? He was dying of hunger. Is that what you want? Poor people dying of hunger, while you're all so big and fat? I had to carry her sack of teeth, it was much too heavy for her. Silence! YOU want her to be a dentist, not ME! Quiet! Silence! Ernest, you and your accomplice Clestine are accused of an incredible number of crimes. Burglary. Breaking and entering! Handling stolen goods! Auto theft! Home Invasion! Shipwrecking! Causing unjury! There are innumerable witnesses! Innumerable witnesses! Most of all, Ernest. You're accused of an abominable crime. You scare children. What? Me? Children, do I scare you? Me? Scare moms? Madame, do I scare you? No, I... er... Aah, a mouse, there! Now, the fl... Now, the defense has the floor. Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury, Your Honour, what is the complaint against my client? Being a bear! Thath why... my client, in thith way... What did he say? No idea. What? I've no idea what he said. Shut up, I'm listening. Oh, you can understand? Perfectly! Liar! You can't understand! Silence! Calm down! Stop! Clestine, in view of the accusations against you... Baloney! I'll tell you what your problem with me is, You don't like it that I live with a bear! How dare you? All because of your damned prejudices! Yes, Clestine and I are friends. That's your complaint! Being the friend of a mouse! Mice downstairs, bears upstairs, is that it? This is how you raise your children ?! In fear of mice? Are you trying to make them stupid or what? Silence, Clestine! You're the accused, not the lawyer! Quiet! I'll clear the courtroom! Clear the courtroom! Wait, the hearing's not over! Come back! Clestine, listen well. No one brings into question foundations of our society, especially not a mouse! Your Honour listen to me! Silence! Sit back down! What are you doing? Help him! He'll do better on his own. - Come... - Ernest, back to your seat! I order you! Your Honor you're on fire! Enough, back to your place! I won't tell you again! Come down! Come down, I say! I won't tolerate... Let go! Let me go! Your Honor, come quickly! We must leave! Let me go! Let me go! Where are they all? They ran away. Come on! They abandoned me. Except you. Come now, come on. Tell me, Clestine, if we get out alive, what would you really like? Find Ernest, and never leave him. Fine. Still, Clestine, wanting to live with a bear is an odd notion. Why? Don't you live with a bear? Oh, yes! Exactly. An odd notion. You alright, Your Honour? What happened? You caught fire, Your Honour. Ernest, you saved my life. How can I thank you? Oh, there's no need. There is, there IS A NEED! What would make you really happy? Now? Of course, Now! Find Clestine, and stay with her always. You're free. She saved my life. Clestine, Clestine... Ernest, Ernest... No, Ernest. Yes. No. Yes. No, I tell you, it's not possible. Well, I'm telling you, it is. Listen, think about it! We can't tell our story. It's too terrible. Do you realize? You found me in a garbage can and you wanted to eat me. That was just for laughs. It didn't make me laugh. No, I can't tell it. We just need to rearrange things. Imagine, you were very little, in a garbage can, it seemed you were abandoned. Your eyes were not yet open. Draw that, draw it. I was a street-sweeper, I was sweeping up dead leaves, you see? That's when I heard a little sound. It was me? It was you. What did you do when you found me? A bit like in real life I took you out of the garbage can, I tucked you under my coat, nice and warm, and I took you home with me. And then? Then I took care of you. You seemed happy, so I decided to keep you. You made yourself at home, and we started living together. And that's how we met. After that one... shall we tell more of your stories, Ernest? Many more, Clestine. Many more. |
|