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Euthanizer (2017)
Umm...
Do you euthanize animals here? - Those too. How do you do it? - It depends on the size of the animal. The small ones get gassed and the bigger ones shot. Cats get the gas. Will Nekku suffer? I assume you live in a flat? Alone with your cat? She alleviates your biological need to nurture - helps with the loneliness and keeps you company. Your flat is a 20-odd square metre prison. The normal habitat for a feline is over a square kilometre. It can't be replaced by an evening cuddle - or a designer scratch post. To top it all, Nekku is old and sick. She is anaemic and hasn't absorbed nutrition properly for a long time. And there's more to it than anaemia, but you have been in denial. And you ask me if Nekku is suffering. EUTHANIZER Hi. No, I haven't forgotten. I can't leave her in the car for a second. I'll pick her up right after work. Did you find out how much it costs'? Well, yeah. Right. Bye! Petri, will you come into the office? Right, about that raise? I had Jomppe do an inventory and the numbers aren't adding up. Oh, yeah? What's wrong? We're missing a couple of winter tyres and four summer tyres. There might be more. - Right... You wouldn't happen to know anything about this? I have no idea, but I would question that hippie's math. He's just out of school and clueless about these things. Right, it could just be a mistake. There are some places that he probably forgot to check. I'll have a look. I'm sure they'll turn up somewhere. If it's no trouble. Hi there. - Hi. This here is Vatanen of the Thousand Vaginas. Hi, I'm Simo. - Vatanen. Don't believe everything that Virtanen of the Single Vagina says. That bastard made our Elisa cry. Who is he? - Veijo, one of our local specialities. He euthanizes animals much cheaper than the vet. He claimed that Elisa had been torturing her cat. Goddamn critter-lover. Who does the blue car belong to? - It's mine. There's a dog inside, and the windows are closed. The sun isn't even shining. - Nevertheless. I'm leaving in a minute. - Okay. I heard you euthanize animals. - I do. That dog needs to be put down. - If he's suffering, bring him to me. 'If he's suffering, bring him to me.' Does he think he's fucking Jesus? Tuomas, Jari finished the logo. It looks nice. Look. - Looks fucking great! Doesn't it? Temppu, look. I was wondering if it should be in English? Soldiers of Finland? - That's too hard to pronounce. The monkeys might understand it better. No. It sounds too much like Tom of Finland. - True. The skull should tell them we're not ones to be fucked with. Go ahead and get it printed. It's fine the way it is. Okay, I'll do it right away. You're late. - I had to pick up the mutt. Why couldn't your old lady do it? - She's at work. That dog looks so stupid, it must be a nigger. I can't bring you any more. The boss is getting suspicious. There are only six tyres. - I couldn't get any more. I'll pay you a hundred. - I need more. What am I gonna do with six tyres? Change them in a car and a half? - 150. Like hell. You'll get the rest when you bring the two missing tyres. I'll try. That mutt is proof that mixing races leads to no good. Mussu! - What? Did you call it Mussu? I didn't name her! Alright. Ride on. Great, thanks! - Don't mention it. Bye! What's wrong with your dog? I don't know exactly, but I'm not paying any more to the vet. To Ojala. I've spent a thousand euros, and there's no end in sight. Are you a dog whisperer or something? Hush! He has something to tell you. He wants to thank you. 'Thank you for buying me from a puppy mill.' 'You supported their business and made sure that, in the future - there will be more inbred and overbred dogs - suffering from hereditary diseases.' What the fuck are you saying? Not me, but your dog. Are you saying that your dog is lying? I'm not going to argue with a dog! - Of course not. Then you would have to take responsibility for your actions. Are you putting him down or not'? Yes. But it will cost you. - How much? Normally I charge a hundred euros, but for you, it's free. If you get inside the dog's crate. Is this one of your famous lessons? Just get in the crate. - And the euthanasia will be free? Fuck, why not? What the fuck are you doing? Let me out of here, motherfucker! Hey! Let me out of here! Where... Hey! Let me out! Open the fucking door! You can't do something like that! - That's what you've been doing. You can't treat people the same as dogs. You're right. I can shoot your dog in the head, but not you. Motherfucker... Get the fuck down! Don't climb in here! Are you fucking kidding me? Three hundred euros? This goddamn mutt didn't even cost that much. Hello. What seems to be the problem here? Three hundred for spaying a dog. Do you understand what kind of a procedure spaying a bitch is? No, I don't! - It is very complicated. Whatever! I didn't come for a medical lecture - but to get the dog spayed! - Relax... I'll relax when I'm good and ready! Leave the premises or we'll call the police. - Drink piss, you bitch! Call the police. - Fuck! I wouldn't go in there! Don't go in there! - Bye-bye! What are these doing here?! These are not allowed here. Jesus motherfucking Christ! Get in the fucking car! Goddammit! Hi! The fucking dog just ran off and was hit by a car! No, she's not alright. She died! What was I supposed to do? Don't cry on the goddamn phone... I need to go and bury the dog now! Bye. Oh, hello! - Hello. So you're the one who brings the lilies-of-the-valley. It's so nice for Martti to have fresh flowers in here. My father loves lilies-of-the-valley. Do you think you can eat by yourself? Would you like to feed him? - Yes. Alright, open up. Well? Don't you like your food without schnapps? Could you replace the flowers with fresh ones? I can pay you for your trouble. - Of course I can do that. You don't have to pay me. They grow along my way to work. Haukka's Repairs and End Solutions. Yes, I euthanize animals, too. I'll be there in half an hour. I gotta go. See you later. Bye. - Bye. Hi there. Are you the one who called me? - Yeah. This dog needs putting down. Why? - She's not right in the head. She's completely untrainable. She is too wild to be a pet. She doesn't look like it. She bit my kids. I'll give you 40 euros if you kill her. Why don't you put her down yourself? I'll pay you a hundred euros to kill the dog. If my money's no good, give me a hammer and I'll do it myself. Dogs are like people. They're aggressive if they don't know their place in the world. They suffer from it and pass their pain to others. There's always a reason for pain. In this case, the reason might be you. I didn't come here to listen to your lecture! You came here to buy a 'get out of having a dog' card. Are you giving me the hammer or taking the 100 euros? 150 euros. Done. Good girl. You haven't bitten anyone. I wonder what your name might be? Mind if I call you Piki? Piki... I'll go get you some food. What do you like? Kibbles? Yeah! Stay- Good! Damn, Why'd they have to make this so difficult? Hey! Don't bring these to my clinic. You've changed cars again. - I'll report you to the police. What were you going to report? Advertising? You take dogs into the forest and shoot them in the head. That's not illegal. - It's still not right. Who are you to tell me about right and wrong? I've seen many of the animals you have 'treated'. You don't care about them. You just care about getting a new car every six months. Piki, quiet! Oh, hi. - Hi. I brought this guinea pig to be put down. Has he been living alone? Guinea pigs need a companion. - He didn't have one. He's not my pet, but my goddaughter's. Tell your goddaughter that her guinea pig had a sad life. Why this song? - What song would you like to die to? There's always a certain beauty to the end of pain. What do I owe you? - Nothing. What's that? - Lime. Helps with the decomposition. Bye then! Good morning, Martti. How are we doing? Are you in pain? We should get you changed. All done. Tell me, Vatanen. Being such a stud, have you ever fucked a man? Not properly. Look! That fucker has a dog. In a leash! Torturer! Did you hear what the dog said? He told you to go fuck yourself! Who's this, then? - Piki. He looks like my employee's dog. Some idiot brought her to be put down for no reason at all. Sounds like Petri. I never had you pegged as a dog owner. I was going to give her away, but she might end up in a bad home. Veijo, you're getting soft. Soon, you'll even start liking people. Guys, the shirts are here! Check them out. Fucking awesome. Your old lady has you cleaning now, too? The vacuum seems to fit naturally in Petri's hand. The little maid. Now that your nigger was hit by a car, did you become the new house nigger? The dog wasn't hit by a car! I bashed her head in with a tyre iron! Brains splattering all over the place! That's what happens when you fuck with me! I'll kill you! Kill? Why didn't you hit your old lady instead? She's next on my list! Here, have a shirt. Nigger killer. Thanks, guys. - Back to work! Right! Hi. Who's this? - I found him. Fine. What did you see? - Enough. Wanna come? How many animals have you put down? Cover your ears. Would you like to go out with me? Like as a man and a woman? - Yes. I don't want any children. Idiot. I wanted to make it clear right away. - Will you? I go for drives in the evenings. Would you like to come? - I would. If you do this right, we might let you join us. If you do it well, we might let you join us. Join us. But if you don't... You fucking hippie. You snitched me out to Vatanen. - About what? You redo the inventory and find the missing tyres! Find them where? - I don't give a fuck! You need to fix it. If you do it well, you might get into our gang. If you don't, you're going to have to deal with us. Remember that. Right... Bring the lime. Do you do this every night? - Oh, no. On Sundays, I watch TV. Pour some lime in there. Choke me. - What? Are you serious? Go on, don't be shy. Choke me! Like this? - Yeah. Fuck. Now that was a lay! - Sorry. I didn't mean to. Next time, take it a little easier. Hiya. - How's it hanging? Ready to go? - I need to take the kids to their grandma's. I'll be quick, it's on the way. - Wanna watch that one? Hey, look. Daddy, that's Mussu! That's not Mussu. - Mussu! That's not Mussu! Goddammit! Get in the car, now! And put your phones away! Why is the dog still alive? - What's it to you? You're no longer responsible for this dog. My kids think I'm lying to them. - Then you shouldn't have lied. You owe me to kill off that dog. I don't owe you anything. You owe me 150 euros for a job you didn't do - and 400 for the dog you stole. Can you handle him? - I can handle this! You will pay me five hundred or kill the dog. What's going on here? This isn't over. You should have bashed his head with your tyre iron. I need to talk to you in private. Why was Mussu with that man? That wasn't our Mussu. And we are never mentioning this again. Don't say anything to Mommy, and you will both get guinea pigs. I don't like guinea pigs. - There are other kinds. Mice or hamsters or... A pony is too big. You being Vatanen of the Thousand Vaginas... Well? Ask away. Have you come across erotic asphyxiation? Sure I have. Women these days, they want to try everything. I'm not a fan myself. Are you hoping to try it? No... This woman wants me to choke her. Not another critter-lover who thinks you're an idealist? She's not an activist. Hot damn, you're not in love, are you? I thought your heart only beats for animals. She is a bit of an animal. Well, just be sure to listen to her while you are choking her. And gently, buddy. Gently. So there you go. Hi. What do you feel like doing? Wanna go for a meal? I'm not hungry. - Neither am I. How will I know to let go? - I'll tap on your shoulder. Again! Do you live here? - No. You must like motorcycles a lot. - These aren't mine. I've been taking lilies-of-the-valley to your dad. Good. He's in a lot of pain. Is that why you don't visit him anymore? Because you hate to see him suffer? Piki needs walking. Aren't you hungry? My wife died while picking lingonberries in the forest. Some sort of a seizure. Maisa must have been upset that the bucket was only half full... After that, it was just me and Veijo. Can I have some morphine? Would you like to listen to some music? Alright! Hi there! Can you service my car? What do you need? I need an oil change before my fishing trip to Tenojoki. What do you fish for? - Salmon on this trip... Here, I'll show you. Photos from my last trip. See this? That was one feisty fellow... That's quite a hefty meal. - I don't eat them, I release them. You know, catch and release. So you've been torturing the fish for fun. Dragging them upstream with a hook through their jaw. How do you think the fish felt? That it's great to be in a selfie with you? What, are you crazy? The fish don't have that kind of sensation in the jaw. Fuck! Hey, stop! Hey, don't! What the hell? Damned torturer! Okay now, look at me. Now you are released! Oh, yeah... Do you still want me to change your oil? Fuck you! Hello? Dad! You can't die yet! Do you hear me? Why aren't you resuscitating him? He had a living will. It included a DNR. I'm his son and I order you to resuscitate him! He has already been dead for half an hour. My condolences. Martti isn't suffering anymore. He was just crying and staring at the flowers every day. That was the idea. Veijo, wait! You don't fucking get it! Everyone has to pay for the pain that they've caused. My father hadn't finished paying his debt yet! I thought you wanted to help. - Pain needs to be balanced. Petri! - Yeah? Please put the cigarette away. So? Did you tell Jomppe to falsify the numbers? What? Of course not! - Did you threaten Jomppe? Told him to find the missing tyres somewhere? What are you thinking? The guy stole them himself and is trying to get away with it. Petri, if we were to open the trunk of your car right now - what would we find? - There's nothing there! Show me. - I'm not showing you anything! Get out. - What? Get out. - Are you firing me? You can't. I have worked here for five years... Get the fuck out of here! - We don't forget. Soldiers of Finland never forget! Fuck! Hey. Kids make stuff up all the time. The dog looked similar, but it wasn't our Mussu. How do I know? Because I buried the damn mutt! Are you calling me a liar? No, I won't come home to talk about this! I'm going to see my brothers! They at least appreciate me! No, I don't know when I'll be home! I'll come when I feel like it, if I feel like it! If ever! Hi, guys! Are you taking a break? We have new threads for the nigger killer. -A hoodie? Temppu! We figured that you might as well wear a skirt from now on. Fucking hell! You bullshitting bitch. - Guys, please. I just got fired. You've got money. - What money? You sold your mutt to the old man for 550 euros. Put the skirt on, bitch. We'll see who's the bitch. Goddamn motherfucker! You keyed my car! - You, fuck off! Don't you threaten me. I'm calling the police and you're paying for the paint job. What the fuck? You maniac, this was a brand new phone! What's that? - I don't know. What is that? - What does that matter? Did you hit an animal with your car? - What does that matter? Did you hit an animal? Did you hit an animal? What did you hit?! I guess it was a badger or something. - Did it die? Well... Yes, it did. - Are you sure? I don't believe you. It was over there. Get out. It was right here. It's wounded. It could have been taken by some other animal. I see blood. Let's go that way. They are probably missing me at work. You don't have to pay for the paint job. Get on all fours, goddammit! What do you want? What do you want? For me to say I was wrong? That I have been selfish - and haven't always thought about what's best for the animal? What?! What if we can't find it? It's over there. It's dead. - But he didn't die instantly. He suffered because of you. - I'm sorry. I thought it died. Tell him you're sorry! I'm sorry for hitting you with my car. I'm sorry for not stopping to see what happened. I'm sorry. Bury him. Bury him! Do you believe in karma? My father didn't. He thought nothing really mattered - and you could do anything you liked without consequences. I disagree. I may have overreacted a little. What now? - Hit me. Hit me! - No, I won't. Hit me! Hi there. Could you come get Piki and take care of her for a while? Yes, of course. I can come by after work. Where are you going? Vacation. Don't die yet, critter-lover! Come on... - Let me go! What do you want? - For you to pay your debt. 550 euros, get it?! - I'm not giving you anything. Goddammit! I'll kill the dog, if you don't pay! - No way! Goddamn punk. This is your last chance. Pay what you owe me, or I'll burn this dog! Alright! I'll pay you! I've got money inside. - Let's go and see. Where is it? - Over there. Antti! You look. He has a gun in here. - You tried to screw us over. There's money in there, too! Outside. You motherfucker. You tried to kill us! Is there enough cash? - Yeah. What do we do with this bitch? Kill the dog. Sure stopped the critter-lover from running his mouth. Damn, that smell was terrible! - I filmed it. Wanna see? I wonder if he'll call the police? - He hasn't got the guts. I feel so powerful! Altogether now... Soldiers of Finland! Soldiers of Finland! What's happened? - Get the shovel. Take this star belt off my waist Stay until tomorrow With a spirit of fire, creating the world Won't take as much sorrow Stay with me another night... Your father wanted to tell you he's sorry. Go ahead and love me 'Cause I've come to love you Look outside if you dare People on their killing spree Underneath their blood-soaked wear Lice are killing off the fleas Please be my humanity When it's off on a killing spree Go ahead and love me 'Cause I've come to love you And so you smile and look my way Wake me up to a new day So gently like the first rain of the spring You let me grab a hold of your soul And carry us to the future And one of these morns before the break of dawn You see the colours form and the - Dark sun rising! Take this star belt off my waist Simply let one more week go Our joy won't be ruined by haste Won't be hit when worlds blow Eyes as tender as last night Make a man put down his bow Go ahead and love me 'Cause I've come to love you! And so you smile and look my way Wake me up to a new day So gently like the first rain of the spring You let me grab a hold of your soul And carry us to the future And one of these morns before the break of dawn... Guitar solo! Guys, this is the real deal! Damn yeah! You guys... - Come on, now. Alright, gentlemen. What the fuck? - Shut up. To the garage. Line up by the lift. You're fucking dead. - Shut up. For you two it will be enough to remember Piki with your every step. No, don't... Ow, motherfucker! What do you want? What do you want?! It was a dog. A fucking animal! Wait, wait! Let's talk about this! What will happen to you if you kill me? - What will happen to me? When I was 13, I had to go to the hospital. Thanks to my dear late father. When I was finally released - I found my father passed out among the lilies-of-the-valley. In the cattle shed, there were 40 starving bulls waiting for me. It smelled of shit and rotten flesh. I tried to get the vet to come, but he was 'too busy.' I got my father's pistol and returned to the cattle shed to kill. But I couldn't shoot them. So I got gasoline and set the shed on fire. I've received my sentence long ago. Don't kill me... I'm sorry. I'm sorry! Veijo... Veijo? Would you like to listen to some music? |
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