( waves crashing )
( music )
( speaking Latin )
( chanting )
( music )
( crowd cheering )
Jeez!
What the hell are you doing?
You screwed up
for the last time, Cooperdick.
Come on, get the ball!
Nice game, Cooperdick.
Hey, slick.
It wasn't your fault, man.
Tell that to them.
It was a good game.
Come on.
Cooperdick, you're a bad joke.
We're gonna settle this later, pal.
Why don't you guys leave him alone.
Cut it out.
Cut it off, you mean.
I'm trying my hardest out there.
You couldn't play for
the March of Dimes, Coopersmith.
Well, I am playing.
The coach says I get to play.
The coach?
Coach that.
Knock it off!
Come on girls.
This place looks like a shit house.
You got five minutes to shower
and get the hell out of here.
Hey Coach, are you really gonna
play him against John Paul Jones?
Everybody plays sports here, Bubba.
I guess that's another
game we're gonna lose?
Come here, Bubba.
Listen to me.
You know the policy as well as I do.
Everybody plays two out
of every four quarters,
now what the hell you
expect me to do about that?
Huh?
Now, if something happened
to Coopersmith
so he couldn't play...
Hey Slick, you still
on extra duty at the chapel?
Yeah, I got to start cleaning
that freaking cellar today.
I'll bet you'll be
down there all year.
Maybe 'til he graduates.
Hey, Cooperdick, you should really
take advantage of visiting day.
Maybe you could get
out of your detail.
Big dope.
You have to have
a mother and a father.
Coopersmith's are dead.
Oh. Maybe they'll let the lady
from the welfare office visit you.
Maybe they'll let her
pass as your mother.
Hey.
The way I see it, Mrs. Caldwell,
the military's the backbone of this
country, our only hope in preserving
this democratic way of life of ours,
good stock and breeding will tell.
There was a time when only the
sons of the right families attended
our academy here, but now,
due to our financial condition,
we're obliged to take in
welfare cases like Coopersmith.
Reverend?
Reverend Jameson?
( sinister music )
Reverend?
Reverend Jameson?
( music )
What the hell
are you doing down here?
( stuttering )
I'm on punishment duty, Sir.
Um, well, I came down
looking for the Reverend.
I'll just start
cleaning out the cellar.
Nobody told me about it.
Well you know,
I bet you he forgot.
Nobody knows
you're down here, huh?
Coopersmith?
( Jameson )
Oh, it's you, Sir.
When I didn't find you upstairs, I
came down here and started cleaning
some of this junk, and well
then, I ran into the Sarge here.
Sargent, Private Coopersmith
is on a punishment detail.
Punishment?
Yes, and I want you
to give him a hand.
Why... I don't have
enough to do as it is.
Coopersmith here
will do all the work.
Okay. Okay.
( laughing )
There's the Reverend.
Pardon my dust.
I just come up from the cellar.
I've just been giving Mrs. Caldwell
a tour of the grounds.
I've always admired the
architecture of your school.
Why, thank you.
But what always intrigued me,
is the chapel.
I think the Reverend has a
better background of that than I.
He made a study of it.
I was curious about
the old building myself,
so I... I started to do
a little digging.
( band music )
( squeaky door closing )
( metal clanking )
Oh, come on.
Come on, guy.
Jesus.
( Jameson ) And the founder of the
order was a certain Father Esteban.
You see, the actual land
that the school sits on,
was given to Esteban in
an order of Spanish monks
when they fled the inquisition.
( laughing )
( Sarge) Whoa.
Ahh.
( humming )
This work...
( laughing )
( sinister music )
( creaky door opening )
( whispering )
Oh my God.
Wow.
What a score.
( rat screeching )
( door slamming shut )
Ugh.
( music )
Rumor has it that
before being executed,
Esteban vowed to return
and extract his revenge.
The signal would manifest
itself on these very grounds.
Hmm.
How interesting.
( music )
Crowbar.
Did you enjoy your tour of
the chapel, Mrs. Caldwell?
Oh, I certainly did.
Reverend Jameson
was most informative.
Oh, there's Douglas.
Douglas.
You have a fine son
there, Mrs. Caldwell.
Thank you.
Mother's going now.
Give her a kiss.
Oh, Mom.
I hope we have the financial
resources to do right by him.
Oh, I'm sure you will, Colonel.
I'll have a talk with
the Senator tonight.
He's very big on military causes,
especially tax exempt ones.
Nice to have you.
( sinister music )
( bubbling water )
( grunting )
They unplugged my clock.
Damn.
Look at my clothes.
( teacher in Latin )
Rise, arise...
( Latin ) get possession of,
become master of.
( Latin ) greedy, attack.
You are late, Coopersmith.
I hope you have an
unimpeachable excuse.
Your silence pleases me, Coopersmith.
I will consider any excuse
unacceptable short of your being
detained from visitors
from outer space.
( laughs )
( all laughing )
I take it we can rule out
extraterrestrial interference?
Yes, sir.
Now, with your
permission, I will continue.
Gentlemen,
over the next few weeks,
we will be campaigning
as Julius Caesar.
We will try to duplicate
Caesar's military strategy
as well as read Latin.
The final exam will consist of
questions about that strategy
as well as your ability to master
Latin grammar and vocabulary.
For your sake, I hope that all of
you have become little experts
at conjugation,
declension and irregular verbs.
Also, let me emphasize strongly the
importance of the model assignment
upon which you are working.
I expect nothing less than
perfection in concept and execution.
Remember, this is a military academy.
Any mistake big or small will be
dealt with in the most severe terms.
Understood?
You must never forget you're
being trained in a military career.
An inferior model will
earn you an F in this class.
( Latin )
A word to the wise, Coopersmith.
( bell ringing )
Dismissed.
Not you, Coopersmith.
This is the second time you
have been late this week Coopersmith.
I want you to report to the Colonel's
office after your last class.
I do not understand you, Coopersmith.
You have a fine mind... if only
you were to apply yourself.
I do try, Sir.
Well, you know my model catapult?
I'm using one of the computers
to check my configurations
so it will be really accurate.
Hmm.
I hope it is for your sake.
Now, you'd best get out of here or
you will be late for your next class.
Yes, Sir.
( sinister music )
What's the matter
with you Cooperdick?
What's the matter, huh?
( laughing )
Come get your hat.
- What's the matter?
- Oh.
Hey! Why don't you
guys leave 'em alone?
How would you like to follow his hat?
( grunting )
Break it up.
Come on.
- Good afternoon, men.
- Good afternoon, Sir.
Jo Jo, I hope you men are
ready for the game on Saturday.
Yes, Sir.
And let's not forget the rally.
We want to have some good fun.
- We wouldn't miss it, Sir.
- That's right, Sir.
Coopersmith, where's your hat?
- I lost it.
- Well, find it.
The good Lord doesn't
want you out of uniform...
and neither do I.
- Good day, men.
- Good day, Sir.
Good day, Reverend.
( laughing )
Good of you to come.
Come inside.
And leave your books out here.
I'm disappointed in you, boy.
I could understand if you
didn't have what it takes,
but your record shows you
have an above average IQ,
and what concerns me
is your inability
to get along with the others.
I'd be remiss in my duty if I didn't
do all in my power to see to it that
you take every advantage
of what we have to offer here.
Now, I know you miss your folks,
but you have to accept the fact that
they're gone and make the best of it.
We have a mission at this academy,
and that mission is to turn out
young men for the military,
so from now on, I'm going
to keep a special eye on you.
I'm going to see to it
personally that you tow the line.
I'm going to make a good soldier out
of you or else know the reason why.
Now, what have you
got to say to that?
I'm a firm believer that
words alone are useless,
so I'm going to make sure
you remember our little chat
every time you sit down this week,
but don't worry,
you'll still be in there
against John Paul Jones Academy.
Take the position, boy.
( whipping )
Great job.
( sinister music )
( hog grunting )
( hogs grunting )
( escalating music )
Wait 'til he demonstrates
this in front of the class.
This will teach that
little queer a lesson.
I'm hungry.
Just hurry up
and finish it, please?
- Come on.
- Here comes Cooperdick.
- Come on.
- Let's go.
Come on.
Ew, that smell.
- Pig shit.
- Whew!
Gentlemen, I have your passes.
All those going to town,
report to the quadrangle
in five minutes.
Randerson, Baker, Caldwell...
( music )
Damn.
Damn.
Bastards took my book.
( music )
All right, what you guys
do with my book?
What book are you
talking about, Cooperdick?
You know what book
I'm talking about, Bubba.
I don't know nothing about no book.
Maybe you don't, but you
guys broke my catapult.
You're gonna pay for that.
( laughing )
( students ) One, two,
three, four, one, two,
three, four.
( chanting ) Your father was there
when you left your right.
Your father was there
when you left your right.
Your father was there
when you left your right.
Your sister was there
when you left your right.
Your preacher was there
when you left your right...
Yes, private,
what would you like?
You wouldn't happen to have seen
a book I might've left here?
No, I haven't.
It's really important to me.
Will that be all?
Yeah. Thanks.
Hey, you take one of my tools?
No.
Somebody took my crowbar.
Well, I'm sure it'll turn up.
I'll keep an eye out for it.
I have to go.
Study hall.
( instrumental music )
( bell ringing )
That was the bell, private.
Um, well just a few more minutes?
Others are scheduled.
Out.
( instrumental music )
( beeping )
By the dreadful day of judgment.
By the face of the divine majesty and
by the four beasts before the throne.
By the fire which
is about the throne,
I conjure and command thee,
oh prince of darkness,
in the name of him who spake,
and it was done.
Satan, Lucifer.
Coopersmith.
Appear forthwith and show yourself to me.
Coopersmith.
Gotta have the unholy water,
defiled host.
Shoot.
Gotta have it.
Coopersmith.
Coopersmith.
Yes, Sir.
I'm sorry, Sir.
Coopersmith, where in
God's name do you come from?
Well, I was right here, Sir.
No you weren't right there
because if you were right there,
I would've seen you.
Now, why isn't this place cleaned up?
It's a big job, Sir.
I know it's a big job, Coopersmith.
Look, it's getting late.
I think you should run along to the
mess hall and get something to eat
because they're just about
finished serving supper.
( beeping )
Come on with me.
How do you like your steak?
Whatever it is now is fine.
You don't look like you belong here.
You sure your mother and
father didn't send you here
just to get you out of the way?
My mom and dad were killed
in an automobile accident.
Should've told me sooner.
I would've given you an
extra lump of mashed potatoes.
That's better.
- Finished?
- Almost.
You want to see something?
Wow.
Doesn't look like this little
one's getting too much to eat.
Oh, aren't you gonna help it?
There's nothing I can do
that's gonna help him.
I tried everything.
Can I have him?
What are you gonna do with him?
Keep him.
Try to give him a chance.
Why don't you let
nature take its course.
Yeah, maybe you're right.
Maybe this pup is
better off not making it.
It's a tough world out there.
You gotta be able to kick and
scratch if you wanna survive.
I found that out right
after my parents died.
From what I can tell,
like these other pups,
it's the ones that can do
the most pushing and shoving
that get the biggest
piece of the pie.
I don't think he stands a
chance, but if you like him,
take him.
( instrumental music )
This is your new home, boy.
It's a little stuffy,
but it'll work out just fine.
You'll like it.
This looks pretty good right here.
It's pretty sturdy.
How you like it in there?
Feel all right?
Okay, well you gotta stay there.
I gotta go to work.
I'm gonna put this right here.
Now, yell if you need anything.
Stay here.
( whispering )
Consecrated host.
( sinister music )
Whew.
( dog crying )
By the four beasts
before the throne.
By the fire which
is about the throne,
appear forthwith and show thyself
to me in beastly or in human form.
Come peaceably,
visibly and without delay.
By the dreadful day of judgment,
by the face of the unholy majesty,
I conjure and command
thee prince of darkness.
Oh, Satan.
Oh, Lucifer
appear forthwith
and show thyself to me.
I, Stanley Coopersmith,
command you.
( groaning )
( door creaking )
( howling )
( door creaking closed )
( groaning )
( groaning )
( howling )
( screaming )
( laughing )
Holy Christ.
I think we went too
far this time, Bubba.
Oh, he'll be all right.
He's just cold cocked.
Jesus, did you see
the look on his face.
Wow.
He's really out cold.
I think he's coming to.
Let's get out of here before
Sarge catches us, okay?
Fuck, Sarge.
( laughing )
Far fucking out.
It works.
( instrumental music )
( chatter )
Hey, Stanley.
Where you been?
More extra duty.
Got garbage detail next.
- Oh.
- You know?
We're all heading out to the field
to get things fixed up for the rally.
- I'll catch up with you later.
- All right.
Hey!
Don't you have to drill today?
Here.
Take this bag of bones for the pup.
Take it out of the arches.
Come on.
( instrumental music)
Oh.
Oh, how you doing, Freddy?
Got a little surprise for ya.
Yeah, from Jake's kitchen,
some Jake bones.
How 'bout that?
Just like he promised.
You like that, huh?
Well, I gotta get one thing,
and then I gotta go.
Enjoy.
Let's see.
( instrumental music )
Who in the hell is in here?
Huh?
Eh, that was probably just Sarge.
Probably drunk again.
Yeah.
You're a good dog.
You gotta be quiet
so he can't year ya, all right?
All right? Here.
You like this, huh?
Cock suckers.
All right, you be a good boy
and tomorrow I'll take ya out
and let ya get some
fresh air, all right?
You gotta be quiet, too.
What the hell
are you doing down here?
What is this place?
I was gonna tell ya about it.
Tell me my ass.
There's my fucking crowbar.
You're the one that took it.
I borrowed it.
And when I asked you,
you lied to me.
What else have you lied to me about?
That's it.
All you bastards laugh at me.
Don't you think that I
know you make fun of me?
I don't make fun of you.
( barking )
Jesus Christ, you gotta
fucking dog down here, too.
I had to bring him here.
I couldn't keep it in the dorm.
I had to bring it here.
Yeah.
Why not here?
Sarge, the animal,
lives in the cellar.
Why not a dog?
You lied to me.
You stole from me.
I'll show you.
( dog cries )
Please.
Please.
( beeping )
It's a good trick,
you cock sucker.
Now, I'm gonna show you...
I'm gonna show you how I make
a little boy into a little girl.
You want to see that trick?
Help!
- Ain't nobody gonna hear you.
- Help!
Ain't nobody gonna
come to help you neither.
Did you look for Sarge
in his room?
Yes, Sir.
He is not there.
Well, he's probably gone
to sleep it off somewhere.
He's done it before.
Sir, I have got to talk
to you about Coopersmith.
Coach, I recognize your problem,
but you have to understand
that when it comes to sports,
the philosophy of the academy
is to play everyone.
Coopersmith, look at you.
- Where the hell is your hat?
- Sir...
Private, your are an
embarrassment to the school.
- Sir, I been in the cellar.
- Look at him.
How the hell can I let him
represent us on the field?
At ease, Coopersmith.
Private Coopersmith has
been cleaning out the cellar.
Coopersmith,
get yourself cleaned up.
- Sir...
- You are dismissed!
And for Christ sake,
go get yourself straightened up.
You see what I mean, Sir?
Jeez.
( instrumental music )
( whispering )
( beeping )
( growling )
( beeping )
( growling )
( screaming )
( whispering )
Hey, Coopersmith.
You all right?
Where you been?
The judgment's about to begin.
Come on.
Oh, yeah.
Let's go.
So, will the next Miss
Heavy Artillery be Miss Patty?
Hold it down.
Will it be Miss Baker?
Or, will it be Miss Gallagher?
I think it's pretty obvious,
don't you,
and I think that we can
safely say that the next
Miss Heavy Artillery is...
Miss Baker.
Now, I want you to do a
good job on old John Paul Jones,
and tomorrow, I want you to do
the same thing to Navy.
( band music )
( chatter )
Miss Kelly?
You want something?
I just wanted to say...
Well, to tell you...
I'm sorry.
I thought you were the best...
Out there...
I thought you should've won.
( laughing )
No, really.
I thought you should've won.
You really mean that, don't you?
I do.
I do.
Well, well, well.
Look what we've got here.
Our ace soccer player.
Getting high, Cooperdick?
Hey, leave him alone, Bubba.
Sure. I'll leave him alone,
but I'm benching you
for smoking dope.
( laughing )
You can't do that.
The Coach says
everybody gets to play.
That's what sports are for,
to make us well-rounded.
I'll make you
well-rounded Cooperdick.
If you guys try anything,
you're gonna be sorry.
Oh yeah?
Let's see how it
looks without the pants.
You guys, leave him alone.
- Shut up!
- Cut it out!
I'm gonna... you guys
are gonna pay for this.
Cooperdick,
you're gonna pay for this.
You think that we're gonna
lose this game because of you,
you got another thing coming.
You so much as show your face,
and I'll bust you in the head.
I'm gonna play.
You can't stop me.
I'll go to the Colonel.
You do that, Cooperdick.
You do that, and it's your
funeral and your little dog.
I know he's down there
in the cellar somewhere.
And I'm gonna make sausage
out of him, Cooperdick.
( mimicking dog crying )
You guys touch my dog,
God help me, you're gonna get it.
Coopersmith, what is
the meaning of this?
This is the last straw, private.
Not only are you not going to
play in the game tomorrow,
but as of now,
you are off the team.
( laughing )
Shhh.
( laughing )
Hey, where you going?
Shhh. Where the hell does
it look like I'm going?
Well, what if Sarge shows up?
Where the hell you been, man?
Sarge went over the hill.
Okay, party time tonight.
( music )
Oh, God.
What's with the dry hump routine?
It's not gonna be dry for long.
( barking )
What's that?
Um, it's a rat.
The cellar's loaded with rats.
Since when do rats bark?
( laughing )
Hey, cut it out, Bubba.
( barking )
It's coming from over in there.
( door creaking )
Oh man, check this out.
( screaming )
Welcome to the kingdom of evil.
( laughing )
There's no turning back
once the gates of hell are closed.
Not bad, huh?
Hey, how about a little less
talk and a little more beer?
- Beer? Here ya go.
- Yeah, give her a beer.
Hey, save one of those for me.
What is all this?
Looks like black magic.
Tell black mass and fight the devil.
( laughing )
Hey, come take a look at this.
It's in Latin.
Hey man,
you can't even read English.
Let me look at that.
Whoa!
( laughing ) You're all right.
Let me look at this.
Wow.
Check this out.
Look out.
Look what I found.
What?
Isn't it cute?
What is it?
That must be the devil's dog.
Devil's dog?
Well, I sure am hungry.
Stop it!
You're always hungry.
Hey, look at that.
That must be Coopersmith's dog.
Stop it.
( laughing )
Sweet little thing.
Well, let's have another
look at this computer.
Holy shit.
This is weird.
Watch this.
Hocus pocus, Satan.
( laughing )
Come out wherever you are.
Look man, this thing says
that we need a consecrated host.
Why don't you make yourself
useful and go get me one.
I'm not gonna commit
no sacrilege, Bubba.
Oh, the hell with you guys.
Ever cast a spell before, Bubba?
( laughing )
Or is this your first time?
Well, you see that we need
to sacrifice to the devil.
See, we need a little virgin blood.
I guess that leaves you out.
( laughing )
How would you know,
hot shot?
Ooh.
I guess we're gonna
have to have an animal sacrifice.
Stop kidding around.
Do I look like I'm kidding to you?
- Give me that knife.
- What are you gonna do with it?
Just give me the knife.
Stop him.
Poor Cooperdick.
That's enough, Bubba.
Shut up!
Bubba knows what he's doing,
right Bubba?
Don't, Bubba.
( whispering )
Kill, kill, kill, kill.
( chanting )
Kill, kill, kill, kill.
Do it!
Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill.
Do it, damn it!
( scream )
( bell ringing )
Fred?
Fred?
Fred?
Fred?
Good morning!
All right, all right, all right.
( whistle ) Let me have
your attention now.
Hey... ( toilet flush )
Where's Coopersmith?
( laughing )
Maybe he got the message.
Keep your mouth shut.
What message?
We were a team, Fred.
We were a team.
Well, if he's AWOL,
he'll be punished.
I want all of you guys down
at the chapel in ten minutes.
Out of here.
Let's go!
What message?
Arf, arf.
( laughing )
( mimicking dog barking )
( instrumental music )
( explosion )
( chanting )
Jake, have you seen Coopersmith?
I've been looking all over for him.
Hey, anything wrong?
Yeah, maybe.
( singing )
Coopersmith?
( sinister music )
Bubba, Bubba.
( chatter )
Get your hat.
Coopersmith?
Coopersmith?
Coopersmith?
Coopersmith?
Coopersmith?
( typing )
Coopersmith?
What the devil
do you think you're doing?
I'm putting you on report.
Oh my God!
(screaming )
Before you go out to play
the game of your lives,
little soldiers, I want to talk
to you about another game...
the game of life.
I know a lot of you soccer jocks
think it's okay to go out there
and try to pull one over on the
referee when he's not watching,
but I'm here to tell you
that nobody...
I mean nobody pulls anything
over on the head
referee in the big game.
That's what really is important.
( sinister music )
Satan.
Satan.
Satan.
( explosion )
Guys, each time you go
to the troth of sin with gluttony
and lust like pigs,
you're being coached by Satan,
and if you care to
check the standings,
he's got a losing record.
I command you,
prince of evil, heed my call.
Give life to the instruments
of my retribution.
( music )
Imbue these creatures
with your strength and force.
Let them avenge me,
and I will pledge my soul to you
and serve you for all eternity.
So when the big
score keeper, you know,
the guy up there...
when he adds up the ledger
between good and evil,
you better be on
the winning side of this
or just there will be hell to pay.
( screaming )
( explosion )
( screaming )
Coopersmith.
Coopersmith.
( screaming )
( hogs squealing )
( screaming )
( screaming )
( screaming )
( screaming )
( grunting )
Ahh...
( screaming )
( screaming )
( heartbeats )
( beeping )
( sinister music )