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EXIT: The Appeal of Suicide (2017)
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(Ray Comfort) The drive from LA to Oceanside was amazing. I've never seen so many green hills in all my life. I thought I was in Kentucky. There's an ugly rumor going around that I've been preaching a prosperity message. [audience laughing] I don't know where it began, but it's got to stop, okay? (Ray) Do you ever get depressed? I do, yeah. (Ray) Do you ever get depressed? All the time. I will forever resent my parents for bringing me into this world. (Ray) Did you ever have chronic depression? I did. (Ray) And what caused that? When I was 10 to 12 years old, I was gang raped by 3 men from my church. (Ray) From your church? Yes, from church. (Ray) Did you change the church? No, I stayed. (Ray) They weren't members of your church? They had snuck in and just kind of left after a few years. (Ray) Do you ever get depressed? Yes. (Ray) What causes it? I don't know, apparently a chemical imbalance. (Ray) So, have they fixed it? No. It just sort of hits you in the face. You wake up and you think you're going to have a good day, and then you're just feeling heavy. You feel like your body's made out of lead. It hurts to move. And you can't explain it, and that's what's so frustrating about depression, because you don't know where it comes from. (Ray) It's only when a celebrity dies that the world is reminded that they have an appointment. Passing is much more common than people think. Every minute, 100 people die. Every hour, 6,000. Every day, 150,000. Every year, 54 million human beings kick the bucket. They die. It's kind of depressing if you think about it. (Ray) And then there's the death of actor and comedian Robin Williams, who committed suicide. For many years, he suffered from chronic depression and the tragedy is that he didn't know why he was depressed. In fact, the "New York Times" and Mayo Clinic say nobody knows why people get depressed. (Ray) Is suicide very big in colleges? Yeah, it's the second leading cause of death among college students. (Ray) Why do so many celebrities kill themselves? They don't always get the help that they need because people are judged, you know, when they seek professional help. (Ray) Do you think depression is a mental illness? (female) I do think it can lead to a form of mental illness. (Ray) So, that makes it really hard for them if they're a celebrity to come out publicly and say, "I'm mentally ill, because I'm depressed." Yeah, it's not just them. That's for everyone. (Ray) It could drive them to suicide. It could add to their depression where everyone looks at them kind of sideways and says, "Hey, you got a mental illness." Because it wasn't too long ago that we had derogatory names for buildings that we kept the mentally ill in, like the mad house and the nut house. And so, there's a tremendous stigma for celebrities that come out publicly and say, "I get depressed. I am therefore mentally ill." I wanted to ask you very much what you--how you found speaking out and how it made you feel. It made me very nervous at first. For me, waking up every day and feeling sad and going on stage is something that is very hard to describe. There's a lot of shame attached to mental illness. You feel like something's wrong with you. (Ray) What's alarming is that the depression has resulted in an epidemic of suicides. Nearly half a million Americans are taken to the hospital every year because of suicide attempts. Back in 2013, "Newsweek Magazine" addressed the epidemic and could give no reason for the increase, saying that it had nothing to do with unemployment and nothing to do with guns. They said, "This year, America is likely to reach a grim milestone: the 40,000th death by suicide, the highest annual total on record." According to the World Health Organization, a massive 350 million people suffer from depression. Perhaps you could move to Denmark, listed by the United Nations as the happiest country in the world. Before we make a decision to move, listen to this. You can say we are the happiest country in the world. I like to say we're the least unhappy. (female reporter) The country has the highest cancer rate in the world. Large portions of the population also suffer from alcoholism and depression. And that's what's so frustrating about depression, because you don't know where it comes from. You know, you can't explain it. (Ray) Do you ever consider suicide? I have, yeah. I actually tried attempting it a few times when I was a teenager. I'm 23 now. (Ray) Did you ever have suicidal thoughts? Yes, frequently. (Ray) Did you ever attempt to commit suicide? I did once. (Ray) What happened? It was halfway through, it's just like--I just realized I didn't want to do it. (Ray) Do you ever think about suicide? Yes. (Ray) What causes your depression? I think about a lot of stuff. I overthink. (Ray) So, what do you think about? I don't know. I dropped out of school. I don't have my dad. (Ray) Do you ever think about suicide? Yeah. I tried it before. (Ray) What did you do? I took pills, I tried to, like, shoot myself, and I tried to hang myself. (Ray) Three different occasions? Six different occasions. No, I just don't think life is generally worth living, so. (Ray) You ever consider suicide? Yes, all the time. (Ray) Isn't that scary? I suppose, but you get kind of used to it after a while. (Ray) There was such an epidemic that psychologists reclassified depression as a mental disease, and this paved the way for antidepressants. While many say that these have been helpful in treating their depression, antidepressants remain controversial because they sometimes come with horrific side effects. I don't look like I usually look. My hands shake real bad. Medication, nothing I can do about it. And my face, I feel like a balloon. My face is all swollen because the medication. (Ray) When Robin Williams was interviewed by "The Guardian," they asked him if the death of Christopher Reeve, his good friend, was influential in turning him back to alcohol. Listen to what he said. He said, "No, it's more selfish than that. It's just literally being afraid, and you think, oh, this will ease the fear. And it doesn't." And he was asked what he was afraid of, and this is what he said. "Everything. It's just a general all-around arggghhh. It's fearfulness and anxiety." Notice his words. He said, "It's more selfish than that." What did he mean? Well, when a friend dies, it's terribly sad, but when you die, it's terrifying. The Bible says this, that every single human being is held prisoner to the fear of death all their lifetime. It says, "Who through fear of death have been living all their lives as slaves to constant dread." That's the dread that we all feel, like a [sighing] and you can't explain it, it's just like a horror. And it seems to be irrational, but if it is a fear of death, then it becomes rational. You're not mentally unstable. There's something in you that says, "Oh, I don't want to die." That's normal. That's sane to want to preserve your most precious possession. You have this really morbid fear of death, which I've had my whole life. And so, my husband and I spend hours sitting, talking about it. This is like from a child you had it, didn't you? Did you find that you'd be doing something, you'd be happy, and then it would almost be ruined because then you'd think about dying. Yeah. I mean, it was there. I'm glad I found out this is quite common. I'm so pleased to meet somebody else. Yeah, that's what I thought. Somewhere around 5 or so, I turned grumpier or sour. I can only think, when I became aware of my mortality, I didn't like that idea. What do you mean this ends? You know, this is--this doesn't go on like this? No, it ends. Once I realized that, I thought, "Hey, you know, deal me out. I don't want to play in this game." And I never was the same after that. I'm 78, I'm going to be 79 the end of the year, and I think I've got to keep going. Before I retire, I die. In "Joe Black," you played a man knowing he was going to die. That's right. Do you think about death? Yeah, all the time, really, but I don't dwell on it in a morbid way. But I was 8 years old when my grandmother died. Looking at my stamp collection, and I'm, like, looking at the stamps, and I had a bunch of old American stamps with pictures of presidents on them. And I'm like, "Wow, all these guys are dead. Grandma's dead. My mom and dad are going to be dead someday." And then I'm like, "Oh, I'm going to be dead someday." But I do remember that being an immensely impactful notion. When my parents died, I was sad, of course, as I think many people would be, but then right after that, I was like, "Oh, man. That means I'm on deck." Well, what do you-- He keeps me... What do you worry about? I fear death. Yes. (Stephen Colbert) Death? Okay, well, maybe--we all die. Maybe you'll go to heaven. You'll die and go to heaven. Okay, that's-- I need help. (Stephen) What do you need? I need to know what to believe in! (Stephen) Like what happens when you die? Yes, I don't want to be a bag of dust. And I can't stand the thought of nonexistence. See, I already have existence. I don't--I accept it. (Neil deGrasse Tyson) All right, it is true. We fear death because we are born knowing only life. I get that. However, I take another view, because I've been asked. If you could live forever, would you? Yes. (Ray) Bruce Springsteen battled what he called terrifying depression for most of his life. Just after two of his band members died, he ended up on a beach by himself, in tears, weeping profusely. "Time Magazine" said, "When he was in his early 60s, his depression and anxiety redoubled to the point where he came to understand the appeal of suicide." It's like this thing that engulfs you. I got to where I didn't want to get out of bed. It's like a nightmare, you know? (Ray) You don't wake up from. You can't wake up. You're just waiting for it to be over. And you know that you're going to have a day that comes where you feel fine, but it's just waiting for that period. You feel like you're imprisoned by all of this sadness. I actually heard a quote from somebody that has depression. It says, "Depression wasn't an endless gray sky, it was no sky at all." And I really feel like that is true. It's just--there is no sky, and you're waiting for something to happen. You're waiting for some color. One of the times I overdosed on ibuprofen, I actually really messed up my internal organs. (Ray) So, why did you do that? I just felt like I couldn't do it anymore. It was--the thought of continuing life was just so unbearable. I didn't really want to see tomorrow. My aunt shot herself. (Ray) Why did she kill herself? Well, one of the things she wrote in her suicide note was that she brushed her teeth, you know, I don't remember how many times, and she couldn't bear to do it again. You're kind of like, I'm just going to do this over and over. (Ray) Life if futile. Yeah, what's the point? (Ray) So, when you say you think about suicide, are you deadly serious? Yes. (Ray) Now, what method have you been thinking about? I guess making plans, but not actually doing it. (Ray) What sort of plans? I guess plans of ways you can do it. (Ray) Give me some for instances. Oh, for instance, I've researched about the fastest ways, I guess, or what's going to hurt more, what's not, what takes longer, stuff like that. (Ray) You don't want to do this. Okay. (Ray) Your life is very precious, don't you realize that? I guess. (Ray) Would you sell one of your eyes for $1 million? No. (Ray) Would you sell both for $10 million? No. (Ray) Can you see how precious your eyes are to you? You wouldn't sell your eyes for $100 million. So, how much more is that life worth that looks out those windows? You don't want to throw it away with a shot to the head. You shouldn't even think about that. And these attempted suicides, if you meant it, you would have jumped off a cliff. No one would've stopped you. There's something in you that says, "I don't want to die." That's your God-given will to live. Man, listen to it. I don't want to die. It's an instinct that God's given you. The Bible says he's created eternity in your heart. Are you afraid of dying? I think everybody's kind of afraid of dying once you think it's actually happening to you. (Ray) Are you afraid of dying? Yes. (Ray) Do you think about it much? Sometimes, yeah, I do. (Ray) Do you find it depressing? Yeah. (Ray) Are you afraid of dying? No. (Ray) Do you ever think about it? Think about dying? Yeah. (Ray) Do you believe in God's existence? Yeah. No, not really, actually. I'm not afraid of dying. (Ray) Are you afraid of dying? I think to a degree. I don't really want to, like, focus on--I know it's out there, and I know it's possible, and I know it's going to happen, but I think if I was to sit there and really dwell on it, yeah, it can really bring out some scary feelings. (Ray) Everything you love is going to be ripped from you by this thing that nobody talks about. It's like an elephant in the room that no one talks about and it's going to stomp on all of us, and that's depressing if you think about it. Now, are you afraid of dying? No. (Ray) Do you ever think about your own death? Yeah. (Ray) Does it scare you? No. (Ray) Death doesn't scare you at all? No. (Ray) I think it scares everybody. Everyone thinks about death, and nobody wants to die. Nobody in his right mind. I mean, they're not listening to that cry in their heart that says, "Oh, I don't want to die, I want to live." And there's something in you that says, "I want to live." That's God-given. Do you believe in God's existence? Yes. (Ray) Do you believe in God's existence? Yeah, I do. There is no God, so there is no Judgment Day. So, when I die, you know what happens? It's over. (Ray) Do you believe in God's existence? I do. I really do. That's kind of what kept me alive in high school. (Ray) Have you been born again? I don't know if I can say that I've been born again. I'd like to. (Ray) Do you have any faith? Yeah. (Ray) What do you have faith in? In God. (Ray) Are you a Christian? No, I'm a Catholic. (Ray) Are you a Christian? Yeah, I would say so, but I don't really go to church, so. (Ray) Have you been born again? Born again? (Ray) Yeah, that's when you become a Christian. Oh, then no. (Ray) Are you a good person? Are you going to heaven when you die? I don't think there is a heaven. (Ray) So, you think Jesus was lying? Lying? (Ray) Yeah, He said there's a heaven and there's a hell and there's a God that's just and holy, and you have to face Him on Judgment Day. He said there's a very real hell. So, are you a good person? No. (Ray) You've broken the commandments? Yeah. (Ray) Which ones have you broken? Most likely all of them. (Ray) You've lied and stolen? Used God's name in vain? Had sex out of marriage? Yep. (Ray) You know, the Bible says even if you look with lust, you commit adultery in your heart. And the Scriptures say, "He that hates his brother is a murderer." What's your attitude toward your father? He's a [bleep]. I don't like him. (Ray) Why don't you like him? Because he left. (Ray) Do you think that could be the root of your depression? Most likely. I have a lot of hate towards him. I don't hate a lot of people, but I hate him. (Ray) So, what's that doing to him? I don't know, nothing probably. (Ray) It's doing nothing, but it's killing you. Yeah, true. (Ray) When you hate your father, you're not only dishonoring your father, but you're committing murder in your heart. So, if God judges you by the Ten Commandments, we looked at about six then, do you think you'd be innocent or guilty? Guilty. (Ray) Would you go to heaven or hell? Hell. (Ray) Have you ever looked at a woman with lust? Jesus said when you do that, you commit adultery in your heart, ever done that? Have you ever used God's name in vain? Yes. (Ray) Jocelyn, I'm not judging you, but you've just told me you're a lying, thieving, blasphemous adulterer at heart, and a fornicator, and you have to face God on Judgment Day. If he judges you by the Ten Commandments, we've looked at five of them, or four of them, do you think you'd be innocent or guilty? I think that I would be okay, because I know that all sins equal the same thing, and I know that if you ask for His forgiveness, He'll give it to you. (Ray) You sure of that? I'm positive of that. (Ray) Would you bet your life on it? Yeah, why not? (Ray) You are, and you're going to lose it, because the Bible says that's not true. You can stand in front of the judge, and you've committed a terrible crime, and say, "Judge, please forgive me," he's not going to let you walk out. And God's far more just than a judge. He just won't forgive because you ask Him to. There has to be a payment for your sins. So, if God judges you by the Ten Commandments, we've looked at six of them, on Judgment Day, do you think you'd be innocent or guilty? Oh, I would be guilty by all means. (Ray) Heaven or hell? Definitely hell if we're talking about the Ten Commandments. (Ray) If you're in court, even though you're guilty, if someone pays your fine, the judge can let you go. He can be just and do that which is right and still let you go. He can say, "Yeah, this guy's guilty, but someone's paid his fine. He's out of here." Well, when Jesus was on the cross, He cried out, "It is finished!" In other words, the debt has been paid. And then he rose from the dead and defeated death, and what you've got to do is repent and trust in Him like you trust a parachute. The minute you do that, God will forgive every secret sin, every open sin you've ever committed and grant you the gift of everlasting life. He'll let you live, He will dismiss your court case, commute your death sentence, because He's rich in mercy. So, please think about this, okay? For sure. (Ray) Okay, so here's a quick summation. If you died today and God gave you justice, you'd end up in hell. There are two things you have to do to be saved. You've got to repent and put your faith in Jesus, be born again. When do you think you'll do that? Right now. (Ray) You serious? Yeah. (Ray) Would you be okay with me praying with you? Yeah. (Ray) Does this all make sense? It's making sense, yes. (Ray) So, if you were to die today and God gave you justice, you'd end up in hell. There are two things you have to do to be saved. You've got to repent and trust in Jesus. When are you going to do that? Well, it's not something I can--I don't feel like I can do overnight, but I want to start exploring. I really do. (Ray) Let me say this. You're on the edge of a plane. You're going to jump any second, and I say, "Here's a parachute. When you going to put it on?" Well, that's something I'm going to explore and think about. When you use that analogy it does sound really bad and silly. (Ray) Don't put this off. You can put off your wedding. You can put off your-- so many things in life, but don't put off your eternal salvation. The Bible says, "Today, if you hear His voice, don't harden your heart." And then think of how earnestly I'm talking to you. Why am I talking like this? It's only because I care, no other reason, okay? So, you're going to more than think about this? Are you going to get right with God, like, today? Don't feel pressured by me. Yes. (Ray) You are? Now, do you have a Bible? I do. (Ray) When did you last read it? It's been a very long time. (Ray) Gohei, you've just told me you're a lying thief, a blasphemer, and an adulterer at heart. So, hey, hang on. You know what? I don't know what created everything, and I don't care. (Ray) Yeah, but when you're going to do is leave yourself in futility and in death, when the only answer to your dilemma is the God that gave you life. There are times when we all get down and depressed, but the Scriptures say that even when another Christian dies, we're sorrowful, but we don't sorrow as others who have no hope. So, what's the difference between a Christian and a non-Christian when it comes to death? Well, let me give you an analogy. You're standing on a plane, on the edge of a plane, 10,000 feet up. You're going to jump without a parachute. Are you scared? Oh yes, terrified. But if I gave you a parachute, would that change things? You'd say, "Oh, I'm saved. I'm saved," and you'd grip that parachute as your very life. And so, you have the non-Christian, the person without faith, facing death. That fear will be without control. But when the Christian passes through death, when I have my day, the biggest day in my life, my fear will be in direct relation to how much faith I have in the Savior. Think of "Pilgrim's Progress," that wonderful allegory, where Christian had the same experience that I had. He realized, as a young married man, that he was in the city of destruction, and he began crying out, "Life, life, eternal life." He saw an evangelist. The evangelist said, "Head for that light." He came to the cross, realized his sin, saw that God had provided the Lamb to take away the sin of the world, and his burden of sin fell off his back. He found everlasting life and he began walking the straight and narrow with his friend Hopeful. They got off track and met a man called Giant Despair. What a great terminology for depression. And he put them into Doubting Castle, and he beat them to a pulp and said, "You better commit suicide before I come back and kill you." And Christian put his hand on his breast, pulled out a key. He said, "What a fool I am. This is the key of promise, and it'll unlock the door of Doubting Castle." And so, when you and I are on the straight and narrow, we begin doubting the promises of God, we will have immediate despair, depression. And the only answer is to believe the promises of God, just have faith in God. It's in your own heart. I can't believe for you. Your mom and dad or friends can't have faith for you. It's you that has to take the key of promise out of your own breast and believe God's promises. And we insult him when we have doubt in our heart and we get into Doubting Castle, and there is Giant Despair to torment us and whisper about depression and suicide. (Ray) Let me see if I can illustrate to you the power of faith, how incredible it is. Let's say you're in financial difficulty. You're going to lose your house and your family are going to end up on the street, and you just didn't know what to do, and you're worried sick, and you're depressed about it. The bank's going to foreclose tomorrow at noon. And I hear about it, and I give you a call and say, "Hey, Sarah, we're all friends and I heard about your plight. I'm going to give you $500,000 as a gift. I came into an inheritance. My father was very rich and left me with literally millions of dollars, so I can do this. And I'll meet you outside the bank tomorrow at noon and give you the $500,000." You have a choice. If you believe me, you can say, "Whoa, no more depression. I'm going to keep the house. We're not going to end up on the street." Faith will give you joy and peace the moment you believe. If you don't believe and say, "I don't know if you're going to keep your word," you're going to be stuck with your depression. You're going to be stuck with your fear, and your worry, and your concern. It's important to remember that when someone is born again, when their sins are forgiven and they put their faith in Christ, they believe God's promises, and the Bible says they can have joy and peace in believing. A young man went to the Golden Gate Bridge in San Francisco to kill himself. And as he stood on that high bridge about to jump, he heard voices. It was screaming in my head, "You must die. You must die now. Jump now." (Ray) And he jumped. And the police said they had picked up dozens of bodies from San Francisco Harbor, and his was the first to live. The millisecond my hands left the rail, it was an instant regret. And I remember thinking, "No one's going to know that I didn't want to die." (Ray) There's a bridge in China where over 2,000 people have taken their lives. They've committed suicide. However, one man named Chen Si faithfully patrolled that bridge on a little motor scooter for 13 years. And when he saw someone about to jump, he would sneak up on them, grab them, and hold them, and he would take them to an apartment. In that 13 years, he saved 321 lives. Emeal Zwayne is the president of our ministry. Where are these two going to go if I pull the trigger? (Ray) He's also the executive producer of our films and our award-winning television program that airs in over 190 countries, hosted by Kirk Cameron and myself. If you're watching this movie right now and you've battled with suicidal tendencies over the course of your lifetime, to any degree, I want you to know that as the executive producer of this film, I personally understand the ravages of that battle firsthand. When I was 4 years old, my favorite uncle that I was named after committed suicide by shooting himself in the head. I'm sure you can imagine how negatively impacted I was by that as a little boy. And as I began to grow, when I was dealing with difficult circumstances or I was fighting depression, I would think about my uncle and what he did, and I would often consider committing suicide myself. As I began to advance in my teen years, I made some terrible, terrible decisions, and before I had turned 16, I had already become a very distressed young man. I was kicked out of two high schools. I had become a gang member with the Crips. And finally, one day it all came to a head when I attempted to commit suicide in front of my own family. But shortly after that, I heard the message that you've been listening to over the course of this movie, the Gospel of Jesus Christ. And as I repented and placed my faith in Him, God radically transformed my life. In the famous movie, "It's a Wonderful Life," do you remember what George Bailey did when he was at the end of his rope and thought that suicide may have been his only way of escape? Dear Father in heaven, show me the way. I'm at the end of my rope. Show me the way, O God. After that, he was shown how different things would have been in the lives of others if he was never born. Today, as I look at my beautiful wife, as I think about our five wonderful children, as I consider the amazing ministry that I get the privilege to serve millions of people through all around the world, I shudder to think of how different things would have been if I was successful in my attempt to take my life on that day. If you're even slightly tempted to commit suicide, I want to urge you to reach out to others for help. But more importantly, I want to plead with you to cry out to the God who gave you life and to let Him show you the way. (Ray) If you're struggling with suicidal thoughts, I encourage you to remember three very important things. Firstly, you have worth. You're not a cosmic accident. You're not here by chance. The Bible says that God, who is the essence of love, formed you in your mother's womb, and that you are made in His image. You're unique and handcrafted by the Creator, and because of that, your life has meaning. No matter where you've been, or what's happened, or what you've done, nothing can ever erase the incredible value God has placed on you as His creation and image-bearer. Secondly, there is hope. The Bible tells us that by trusting in Jesus, we have a living hope, a hope that's an anchor for the soul. If you don't know God personally, you can through genuine repentance and faith in Jesus Christ. Your sins will be washed away. His Spirit will come to live within you, and He'll never leave you nor forsake you, and you'll be given a new heart with new desires. Again, the Bible tells us that God is love. The meaning and purpose of your life is to truly love God and walk with him. You can find healing, forgiveness, and hope in Christ. And thirdly, help is available. Like a mold to the soul, severe depression grows in the cold dampness of isolation. Please open up, reach out for support. You can tell those closest to you, confide in a parent, relative, or a friend, or school counselor, or find a respected Christian doctor or professional counselor. Dragging a heavy load by yourself can be overwhelming, but if you let someone help you carry your burden, it becomes far lighter. Or you could call a hotline. You could call the Suicide Prevention Lifeline and talk with someone right now. It's free, it's confidential, and available 24/7. You can call them at 800-273-8255 or visit them online at SuicidePreventionLifeline.org. You can speak with a local pastor. If you don't attend a Christian church, visit TheExitMovie.com and click on the "Help" tab to help you find a church in your area. Please, whatever you do, oh please don't end your life. |
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