Ladies and gentlemen...
...it's a pleasure for me to be here
on such a beautiful day...
...in the great city of Detroit.
And I'd love to tell you all...
...to sit back, relax
and enjoy yourselves.
I'd love to...
...but unfortunately,
I can't do that.
There's a very serious issue spiraling
out of control in this country:
illegal handguns ending up
in the hands of our children.
lnstead of reading off statistics
that you might not already know...
...that last year, more preschoolers
died from guns than police officers...
...or that gunshot wounds are
the second leading cause of death...
...for all people in the U.S.,
ages 10 to 34.
Hold it. Go on in.
--while he lay bleeding to death for
Darren was 16 years old.
That could have been any one
of your children.
l hope you will consider my four-year
plan to get guns off the streets.
l need your help and your support.
Let's stop the pain and suffering
Darren's family had to go through.
God bless you and thank you.
-He just loves pissing me off.
-l am sure he has his reasons.
Thanks a lot.
Thank you.
Relax.
l will talk to him.
Thank you, everybody.
Hey, how are you? Good to see you.
-Mr. Vice President, sir.
---are you going to take away?
Bobby, what the hell is this?
You believe this guy?
Sorry, the bridge is closed
until the V.P. gets across.
You can't stay here.
You have to move.
-Shit!
-Get down, sir!
Get us out of here!
Excuse me.
Officers need help! On the bridge!
Shots fired!
Warn the D.P.,
they are dressed as cops!
Alpha six to Bravo air, keep cover--
-Stay down!
-What the hell is going on?
No cops on the bridge.
We can't tell who's who.
No Detroit P.D. Secret Service only.
Officers need help.
Motorcade's under attack!
All units, stay off the bridge,
as per Secret Service.
All units stay off bridge--
l told you to clear the bridge!
Bring the truck in!
Goddamn it! Secret Service only!
Who the hell is that?
Get me out!
-Get me out of here!
-Get in.
Who the hell are you? Off the bridge.
We're not moving
until the transport arrives.
Mr. Vice President, get in here!
We need help here now!
Alpha 1 to Alpha 6.
Move it out!
Everything's under control!
Jesus!
Take out the Alpha vehicle!
l am sorry, sir. l got to do this.
Shit! l can't swim.
Don't move!
Freeze!
lt's okay. l am on the job.
We got you, sir.
You're going to be all right, sir.
Why did you drive onto that bridge
and start World War lll?
-l saved his life, Frank.
-You were lucky, Orin.
Extremely lucky.
The Secret Service gave a direct order
not to storm that bridge!
They were responsible for him!
Not you!
What if it went the other way?
l didn't vote for him.
This is funny to you?
-What's funny to me is--
-Cut it out.
Who were they?
Some Michigan militant group.
-Live by the sword, man.
-Sit down.
Look, Orin. We have known each other
a long time.
l am your friend, but l am your boss.
Now, as your friend, you don't follow
orders. You're unmanageable.
You don't obey the law
or think before you act.
And now, as your boss...you're fired.
-Just like that.
-Hinges wants you out.
There's nothing l can do.
You want to talk to him, be my guest.
Now handle it!
You are like a cockroach, Mr. Boyd.
Every time l try to get rid of you,
you appeal to the union...
...and they send your ass
right back here.
But not this time.
l have been talking to Secret Service
figuring out what to do with you.
They want you to suffer, Mr. Boyd.
They want you to suffer bad
for that stupid stunt you pulled.
And l must say, l do not disagree.
You guys are unbelievable.
l saw a problem, l fixed it.
Simple as that.
That's bullshit, Mr. Boyd.
Because of cops like you...
...police have a bad image everywhere.
You won't pin that on me.
l stick my neck out every day.
You remind me of bureaucrats in the
'60s sending kids to fight in Vietnam.
l am not going to send you to Vietnam.
-l am going to send you to the 15th.
-Oh, that shithole.
You will fit right in.
Come on, get up.
l know my rights, man.
Knock off the shit!
Understand?
Can l help you?
l am looking for the ringleader
of this circus.
Yes, sir. And you are?
-Boyd. The commander's expecting me.
-Follow me.
Commander's got a grip. l have seen
mental wards saner than this place.
Can we start over?
Too late for first impressions. Sit.
This year alone, three complaints
filed against you for excessive force.
This doesn't seem like a hero's
welcome.
You want welcome?
Stay out of the headlines.
Around here, there's no such thing
as heroes.
l have got community activists swearing
we treat everybody like criminals...
...and criminals swearing
they're altar boys.
Maybe l was never an altar boy,
but the point is--
The point is, cops don't
uphold the law by breaking it.
Now, you got a problem in my house,
you come see me.
None of this Lone Ranger stuff
l keep hearing about.
Are you listening?
lf l have a problem, l will come to you.
All that with the vice president?
A little water never hurt anybody.
But l am worried
about your discipline problem.
l was thinking about putting you
on a desk.
-l can't type.
-l have a better idea.
Something that will
broaden your horizons.
And then her dog.
Her dog gets so freaked out...
...he takes this enormous shit...
...right in the middle
of the living room.
l chased that little bastard
everywhere...
...until l finally cornered him.
l warned her not to buy
a frigging poodle.
l never could have thrown
a German shepherd out the window!
Okay.
That's it. Let it out.
Okay? That's why we're here.
To talk through our problems,
not to let it bottle up.
Okay.
And the rest of you, l want you
to dig down deep...
...and ask yourself the question:
Why are we mad and what are we mad at?
Good. Okay.
Who'd like to go next?
Hey, everyone.
How are you?
For those of you just tuning in,
l am Henry Wayne, and l am a rageaholic.
You probably all recognize me
from my show, Detroit A.M.
You're probably wondering
what happened to my head here.
l know it's always something
and l am not supposed to lose my cool.
l was at Krispy Kreme
picking up a 12-pack.
-And this guy--
-Okay.
l am sorry.
l am so sorry to interrupt you...
...but l am kind of looking
for a fresh face next.
We will get back to you.
l am a ticking time bomb,
and l am ready to implode.
Let's solve my problem.
Sit down!
Okay.
So, who's it going to be?
Mr. Boyd? l believe that you
were sent to us...
...because of work-related stress...
...aggression towards
authority figures...
...and an all-around
lack of discipline.
l am fine. You can move on.
Other people want to say something.
Mr. Boyd, denial is a classic symptom
of unhealthy rage.
Okay? So why don't you
just stand up...
...and tell us a little bit
about yourself.
l'd like to make this clear.
l don't have rage.
l am a happy guy. You see this face?
This is a happy face. You all...
...would be lucky to be
as happy as l am.
What am l, a shit magnet?
Junior, having a tough time?
You got to get in and out quick.
l am an expert at this.
l could do that in a blink of an eye.
-Well, why don't you show us?
-Watch.
-Just like that. See?
-You a magician?
You want me to show you how to pull
a rabbit out of your ass?
Screw Linda. Come back. Everybody's
tearing the tops off their desks.
Who are you?
Henry Wayne. Detroit A.M.
-This a friend of yours?
-Yeah.
-Go back to class.
-They will kill me without you.
lf you stay here, they might
kill you too, so go back to class.
Jeez! Well, no! Well, shit!
l don't even know this guy.
Stay out of our class. We got people
in there with real problems.
FYl, next week l am doing a show
on violent twins.
-Enough of this bullshit!
-You're not twins?
Take the man's keys.
Give me your keys.
Stop it! Mr. Boyd,
stop hitting that man!
Mr. Boyd! What are you doing? This
is no way to deal with your anger.
Screw that, man! You kill those
bastards! They tried to pop us!
Did you guys see that?
Can you believe this shit?
Boyd is such a bad-ass. He could
easily win a tough-men competition.
You guys just missed it, but l am glad
l got here when l did.
Boyd's a cop! He's a cop! He gets
to do this shit all the time!
We will have great stories for group!
You see how happy l make others?
Hey, Boyd.
Good job, man.
We will see you next week?
Come on, guys! That was great!
Now, was that cool or what? Come on!
Who are you here to see?
Shaun Rollins.
-And you are?
-A friend.
Photo l.D.
Sign in.
Back to the left.
How you holding up?
Not too well, man.
Straight losing it, dog.
l can only take so much of this shit.
-What's up with my lawyer?
-l talked to him.
Slow motion. You know, the system.
No, l don't know, man.
l need to know how much time
l am looking at.
Ain't nobody telling me nothing.
l don't know.
Fuck, man.
This shit is bullshit.
You don't know?
You got to see the Jeffrey Dahmer
look-alikes in here, man.
lt's crazy.
lt's like l can't even turn my back
to take a piss up in here, man.
Shaun.
You got to stay focused.
You do what you got to to make sure
that you safe in there.
l got everything
on the street covered.
Nobody's forgotten about you.
Nobody.
Don't worry. l have got them.
They're my people, and if they're
not buying, they're walking.
This is what l am talking about.
This is what l am talking about.
Nice color.
lf you Puffy.
-Shit!
-Good afternoon, homies.
l am Alan Morris. lf there's anything
l could help you with, l am your dog.
Get the fuck out of here, man.
ls that the new 9-9-3 Turbo?
Actually, that's the 9-9-3 Carrera.
Oh, shit! Yo, it got eight cylinders,
right? They kick out 600 horsepower.
That's six cylinders, 475 horsepower.
Whatever.
Would you mind not leaning on the--
Oh, shit! l could get some ass
from the twins in this, dog.
Hello, Mrs. Johnson. How are you?
Hell, yeah.
Mrs. Johnson got a fat ass.
l got something for you, Miss Johnson.
You're not allowed
to play any music here.
Could you turn it off, please?
Could you turn the music off, please?!
Brother, please, brother?!
Look, can you turn the music off,
please?!
Could you turn the music down, please?
Oh, yeah! Hit it!
lt is not a toy.
Miss Johnson was shaking her ass.
Shake your ass, baby. Shake it!
Miss Johnson.
You think l could hit some corners
in this?
Take it on a test drive.
l am sorry.
Our policy is no test drives.
How about hooking a brother up then?
Hooking a brother up.
The cheapest car we have here
is $ 75,000.
That it?
lt got a lot of headroom.
Get it? Yo, bro.
This is it.
Oh, yeah.
See? My man got taste.
Yes, well, he's got something.
Shit!
-You like it.
-Yo, dog, this shit is hot, man.
How much? Two hundred?
Actually, 285.
lt better suck
and fuck me for 285, man.
Actually, there are only seven
of these on sale in the U.S.
That many.
Pop the hood, man. l want to see
what 285 look like.
That's the hood.
That's the trunk.
That's okay.
Yo, start it up, dog.
No, l am sorry.
lt's our policy.
You can't start up the car.
lt's policy. Sorry.
What in the--?
Hey, you!
Turn off the engine!
-Would you turn off the engine?!
-Yeah, yeah!
Could you turn the motherfucking
engine off?!
You don't have to yell.
All you had to do was ask.
You'd get much better results.
-Will you please just leave?
-No.
l want this.
Unless you decide you'd like
to live in this, l suggest that you--
l suggest you get started
on the paperwork.
What do these people think?
Oh, my God.
There's 300 in there.
Make sure he gets the commission.
He get--
Keep the change.
Maybe l made a mistake.
You know?
We're both homies. All of us here.
Why don't you....
Homies! l am your man!
Faster, dog! Yeah! Faster!
Okay, dog, go right.
Sit down, man.
Can't afford to get pulled over.
We got a big night tonight.
Doesn't anybody sleep anymore?
Oh, yeah. Bring you the goods, baby.
Hey!
-What are you looking at?
-Oh, shit, man!
You always walk up on somebody like
that? Could have gave me a coronary.
You mind if l take a look?
-Bird watching?
-Oh, no, man.
Just checking on my old lady.
Keeping tabs on her.
Women. You can't trust them.
Not as far as l can throw her ass.
And she a big bitch.
l don't see anything. Where is she?
Up in the corner over there, man.
No luck.
You should go home
and call her tomorrow.
Cool. Just give me my shit, bro.
Oh, l am sorry.
Yo, sure enough! Five-O.
Five-O.
Come on, man.
Shit! Come on, man. Quit treating me
like l am Tupac. lt's my hand!
What are you doing?
-l am a cop. lt's all right.
-Since when do cops make things okay?
Yeah, man! Since when do cops make--?
Man, this shit hurt!
l am a political prisoner here, man!
He's Geronimo Fat.
Get out of here.
Hey, no, don't go! Don't leave!
He's going to try to put a plunger
in my ass! What you doing, man?
Don't go anywhere.
Let's see if you have this shit
when you get back out here!
Satisfied?
How much?
How about 25? With a cut here,
a cut there...
...it will double your money easily.
Quickest quarter mil you will make.
l need major weight.
l really don't want
to see any more of this.
-Give me a ballpark figure.
-Anywhere in the seven figures.
Yo, it's Five-O! lt's a setup!
Get out!
Well, l guess the grill was optional.
You have the right to remain silent.
Take a look in my back pocket, cop.
Want to buy your way out?
You just ruined three months
of undercover work.
Think of the promotion you will get.
Come on, let's go. Move.
Come on. Move it, move it. Let's go.
What are you doing?
l am already in the intersection!
Next time you see a cop
blow a whistle, pay attention.
Blow this.
What, are you blind?
Come on!
Where's a cop when you need one?
Fresh meat!
Montini.
Do me at 30.
Go, go, go, go!
Oh, yeah!
Hey, you, Boyd.
No, thanks.
Hey, Serpico.
Afraid of a little pain?
No, l am just trying to quit.
Maybe you're just hiding a wire
under your shirt.
Think l am a plant?
Maybe that was your cover.
l.A.'s tried everything else
to slip a mole in here.
Go for it.
Go easy on the first time.
Give him 25.
Twenty-five, my ass!
The bad guys are out there.
Not in here.
Give me my money!
See you making friends fast.
Just take some deep breaths,
in and out. How do you feel?
Electrified.
Yeah, you will be all right.
lt's just a hazing thing.
Everybody goes through it.
Well, welcome to the 1-5.
-Orin Boyd?
-Yeah.
Hey, you're from the 2-1, right?
They said you were coming.
l am George Clark.
Nice to meet you, George.
You're like a legend, man.
l used to read about you
in some new caper every week.
-Don't believe everything you read.
-l don't.
But there was one l was curious about.
You beat a suspect unconscious
with a dead cat?
-No.
-No?
Cat wasn't dead.
All right. That's funny.
Cop who came in to break it up,
who was that?
Strutt. Sergeant Lewis Strutt.
He's a good man, a fair man.
Don't worry about Montini.
Shit happens.
Who was Montini trying to set up?
That would be Latrell Walker.
Why you ask? You going after him?
Hey, how you doing?
What do you need?
Need to see the log book.
-Here.
-Thanks.
Who or what are you looking for?
Just some shitbird who thinks
he got away clean.
Can you run a check? All l have
is a name, Latrell. Black male.
This isn't the Hall of Records.
Check records downtown.
Thanks a lot.
Happy to help you.
l am the janitor.
My daughter's in the office.
Stay down.
l am one of the good guys. Come here.
Freeze! Don't move!
l am a cop.
Bruce, get it out of the way.
Can l get you guys
in this area over here?
Keep it back. Sorry, people,
you will have to stand back.
Officer Boyd.
What have you got?
Take a look at this.
This was taken at the police
evidence locker.
Whenever there's large quantities of
narcotics, they keep it in the vault.
There were six guys. They wore masks,
and their voices were altered.
How much did they take?
About 50 kilos of heroin.
Wait. Can you rewind that bit?
-Freeze on that guy.
-You got it.
Now, can you zoom in right there?
What do you think this is?
Monday Night Football?
Best l can do is 50 percent.
What do you think?
-Rolex?
-lt's a TAG.
Height, l'd say about five-ten?
l'd say so.
And he's black.
Hey, guys.
Hey, look who's here.
-Hey, Montini.
-What's up?
Giving Boyd a preview
of the playback from security.
Boyd. What are you doing here?
Whose case did you screw up this time?
You guys mind giving us a moment
to ourselves?
We have some catching up to do.
l am just fucking with you.
No hard feelings
about the other night.
l would have done the same thing.
-So, what happened here?
-Property vault was hit.
Fifty kilos of heroin stolen.
Someone's having a big party tonight.
-What, professional hit?
-Pros wouldn't be so sloppy.
Probably right. l am going to head up.
You get wind of anything, let me know.
All right.
What were you doing at Piper Tech?
Last time l checked,
this was the men's locker room.
Answer the question, Boyd.
l was driving by
and l heard the call.
l told you,
l don't tolerate lone wolf behavior.
You got a problem, come to me.
lt's my only problem.
All right. l will tell you what.
You're back.
But, you're walking the beat. And l am
not letting you out without a leash.
Hey, George.
Stop robbing the vending machine.
Come over here.
l want to know every move you make...
...or l will have you typing out
reports till your retirement.
That damn machine
ate my quarters again.
-Fifth time.
-Whatever.
George, meet your new partner here.
New partner?
You mean the two of us?
You make a nice couple.
lt's me, George.
-Okay?
-What are you doing here?
Making a mistake
picking you up for work.
Nice place you got here.
Good morning and welcome
to Detroit A.M.
I am your host.
-Henry Wayne.
-l love this guy.
Today, we will face your worst fears.
What really ticks you off? Me?
It's on the freeway, stuck behind some
idiot going 55 in the fast lane.
-He's a little carried away.
-What did I do?
Did I casually flip him the bird?
Or did I fantasize about running
them off the road...
...and cutting
their freaking head off?
So we got a 12-block stretch.
l like to cruise once or twice,
let the people know we're out here.
Then we can walk it on foot.
l grew up in this area, man.
Now look at it.
Thugs turned it into shit.
Slowly getting a handle on it though.
Might turn this place around
after all.
-You married, George?
-Five years next month.
Beautiful woman.
Stuck by me through a lot of shit.
Got a 14-month-old boy.
What about you?
Same old clich. l guess she got
tired of all those sleepless nights.
Tell me about Montini.
He's a bully. Been in four shootings.
He's still standing. Figure that out.
Hangs out with that mountain man,
Useldinger.
What's the story with him?
Strong as an ox.
Got the lQ of a handball.
He was a police officer down South,
spent a year undercover in the KKK.
Wound up taking down a cell all
by himself. That guy's an animal.
Good thing Strutt came in...
...because he knows we're all
on the same team.
-What's the story with Strutt?
-He knows everyone.
Need extra cash, he can get you
a security gig.
Tickets to the Red Wings,
he can make it happen.
Anything you want. He's the ultimate
concierge. A tough bastard too.
Sometimes, on duty,
he doesn't wear his gun.
Once pulled a rabid Doberman off this
boy and killed it with his bare hands.
So...
...you got a thing for Mulcahy?
l saw the way she was eyeing you.
How long has she been your commander?
About a year now.
And she did a stint over at l.A.
Cleaned up a lot of precincts too.
Left l.A. to come over to the 15th.
What do you see?
That yellow Hummer.
l know.
l am barely making ends meet
and that's that fool's fifth car.
-Who?
-His name's T.K.
He owns a club called the Static.
Hey!
l need to see a little bit more green.
Come on, put it on.
l like color.
Oh, yeah. Put it on.
That's it. Squeeze it on.
There you go. Hey, baby.
Put them on the glass.
Them some titties.
Them titties for you all!
That's for you.
What's going on, Joe? Everything cool?
All right.
How's the crowd tonight, man?
All right. See you upstairs.
Yo, what's up, dog? All right, man.
He's here.
Bring the truck around back.
Why you looking for him?
Because l want my grill back.
Yeah, tell her to keep shaking that ass!
Look at Rockefeller here. What is it?
Too rich to count money
the old-fashioned way?
Yo, close the door.
Sitting behind my desk in my office at
my club wanting me to close my door?
You paid for it.
Look like you need a drink.
You think this deal won't go through?
T, come on, man.
All right.
l will get that drink for you.
Boss.
T, come here for a minute.
What's up, dog?
Where would l be without you, dog?
All by your motherfucking self.
You right.
Now, get my drink, bitch!
Nigga, l got your bitch.
We have an open mike tonight. Come
downstairs and tell some jokes.
l said, l want to see asses shaking!
Damn!
Baby. Can l have a Hennessy Paradis?
Sure, T. We still on for tonight?
Sorry. l can't make that tonight.
But l promise.
l will make it up to you.
Why'd you even make plans with me?
l just need a couple more days
to work some shit out.
After that, l am yours.
Shit. By the end of the night,
you just might....
Fuck me!
Dang! Now you talking.
Shit!
What's up, man? What's up?
What's the matter?
You couldn't get in VlP?
Have a drink, motherfucker.
Say hello to my sumo Negro.
He about to turn your ass
into sashimi.
You in trouble now, sucker.
You ain't doing shit. Get his ass!
There you go, Joe! Kick his ass.
Shit.
Get out of my way! Move!
Freeze! Police!
Put the briefcase down.
Hands in the air.
Up against the wall.
Keep them against the wall.
Got anything in your pocket?
What's this? Don't move.
Got a permit for this?
Come on! Grab the gun! Let's roll!
Oh, shit!
Shit! l am fucking up my Versace shit!
Come on, dog. Pull me through. Shit!
What are we doing, Boyd?
What are we fucking doing?!
Either we call backup
or get out of here.
What backup? We ain't here.
Would you answer my question?
l almost fucking died tonight.
Sit down before you fall down.
How are you doing? Come sit down.
-And you are?
-Officer Boyd. l have questions.
Before you even get into all that...
...you shouldn't be asking me.
l know nothing.
Let's start with something simple
like who is Latrell Walker?
Never heard of him.
Says in here he visited you a number
of times. ls he a friend of yours?
Said l'd never heard of him.
Are you deaf or something?
No, l am persistent.
l ran a check on this guy.
Came up empty. Guy's clean,
like a little too clean.
No warrants, no accidents,
no parking tickets.
lt's like he was born yesterday,
and that makes me nervous.
Your point is?
l want to know what your relationship
is with him.
Did he take over your business
when you went away?
What business you even talking about?
ls it meth? ls it coke?
lt was heron.
Thought you knew that.
l know it say it right there.
Come on, man.
The cops swear you all
know everything, man.
Know what, man?
You didn't learn nothing in juvie.
Supposed to teach you not to piss your
life away and you come right back.
That's real clever. You know?
You ain't got a clue what's going on.
Your eyes is glued the fuck shut.
Pig.
You want to do 10 years?
That's your business.
lf l were you, l'd be grabbing
for every lifeline tossed out.
You can't help me, man.
Can't help me at all.
You cannot put Tiger Woods
in the same league as Michael Jordan.
You don't have to be in shape
to play golf.
You walk everywhere, for chrissakes.
But Woods bench presses 300 pounds.
Well, unless he
bench presses my dick, l....
l am really not impressed,
to tell you the truth.
-l'd say Wayne Gretzky's the best.
-You freaking Canadians.
You worship the guy.
You'd crucify the mother, ay?
Whatever, Dinger.
l got one. Babe Ruth.
-Baseball?
-Who?
Oh, man.
Fall asleep during the action.
Don't knock baseball.
That's un-American.
Wake me up when it's over.
Come on, guys. Come on.
The greatest athlete
without a doubt was Muhammad Ali.
He could defeat you with his mind.
He would never have to put a finger
on you and have you psyched out.
-To The Greatest.
-To The Greatest.
Hey.
How's your head?
Head is fine.
lt's my pride that's still hurting.
Question for you.
Six months ago, there was a bust.
Shaun Rollins. Remember?
Yeah, vaguely. Why?
Anything suspicious about that arrest?
Far as l can remember, it was clean.
Montini pays attention to detail
when he types those things up.
Montini was the arresting officer?
Yeah. Why?
Know where l could find him? To put
two and two together, even things up.
Relax, relax.
-The fuck you doing?
-Shut up. Hands down.
-What are you doing.
-Why you pressing me?
-Who's pressing you?
-You got a cop on my ass.
Same guy from the other night.
He's a Neanderthal.
He keeps popping up.
He's not one of ours.
l will take care of him.
But you, showing up here?
l should just shoot you in case....
Look, if l wanted to bust you...
...l would have brought you in a long
time ago. This is business.
l scraped together a lot of product
for our next deal.
-Forget it.
-How much?
Around 5 million.
Yeah, right.
You wanted seven figures,
that's what l brought.
lf not, then we do have a big problem.
lt will get me locked up until
l am eligible for social security.
l don't need social security, asshole.
l need police security.
So before we do any more business...
...you let me know you got shit
under control.
All right.
Would it ease your worries
if l showed you our operation?
Fucking right.
Fine.
We will call you when we're ready.
You just have the money together.
Done.
Right after group and everything.
Boyd? Shit!
l just came in to use the phone.
Relax, man. l just need a favor.
Ladies, would you let me
talk to my friend?
You need me to go undercover?
l am like a chameleon.
lt looks like you're kicking a lot
of big ass there. How many guys?
Two, but they were huge.
They were meatpackers.
l could have used some of your moves.
Maybe you could teach me.
Yeah, later. You know that expos you
did on the mob a few years ago?
How'd you get that intel?
l am resourceful. l work with the
l Team, a group of former P.l.s...
...who owe us their licenses due
to various felony convictions.
l need you to find out what you can
about a guy called Latrell Walker.
His identity seems to be a total scam.
And also what his connection is with
a guy called Shaun Rollins. Can you?
l will see what l can dig up.
Why'd you come to me?
l don't want to attract any attention.
Your peculiar methods
might work for me.
-What is this all about?
-lt might be nothing.
lf it's big, it's really big.
l just got to see how high up
this shit goes.
Don't screw this one up, man.
l won't, because l have seen you
when you're angry.
All right, ladies?
Come to papa.
-You want in on this?
-No.
l want to make a toast. To us
finally getting together for dinner.
But l just have one request.
l am listening.
No police talk.
No mentioning the latest homicide
or gang shooting.
Tonight, just happy thoughts. Agreed?
Agreed. To happy thoughts.
Good evening, commander.
What are you doing here, Boyd?
-You wanted to see me.
-ln my office, not here.
But l am here now, so let's talk.
l am sorry, but we were actually
right in the middle.
Why don't you take a walk?
lt's okay. Just give us five minutes.
l had to go to the men's room anyway.
How'd you find me?
What are you doing with this guy?
That is none of your business.
-He doesn't look right for you.
-And you do?
What did you want to talk to me about?
Why'd you visit Shaun Rollins?
-The walls have ears.
-l know everything.
So, why am l here?
l don't have time for games.
What are you up to?
You used to work for lnternal Affairs.
Out of all the people around you,
how'd you know who you could trust?
Why? What have you got?
l can't say yet. Not till l have
more proof. What have you got?
Let's just say my instincts tell me
something's not quite right.
Bring me something solid.
l have something solid.
More solid.
-l will know what to do with it.
-You will?
-Carmine?
-Good.
Not bad. l will see you on campus.
Watch your back.
Hey, Clark. What's going on?
Six. Nothing much.
l hear you're working
with supercop now.
What's that like?
Which one are you? Starsky or Hutch?
Don't mind him.
l don't.
Heard about that scuffle. What were
you doing at the Static anyway?
Orin wanted to question the owner.
About what?
They never spoke.
Boyd's trying to steal my bust,
George.
He's a glory hound.
We have seen this kind.
What else did you find out?
We searched his office, came up empty.
l wish you would have called
the point detective.
l would have found something.
We did find a visitor's pass
from county. Don't worry, Montini.
We will let you know what we get.
You guys done with the bench?
Yeah, go ahead.
Hey, Montini.
lf all you come down here to do
is work out your mouth...
...you should go.
Breaks our concentration.
Find out who they visited at county.
Yeah, l am on it.
You come with me.
Be back in an hour.
Ready to meet the wizard?
Put it on.
You don't need to know where we're
going.
Welcome to the inner sanctum,
Mr. Walker.
l always wanted to do that.
l wish l had a cat.
Heard a lot about you.
Wish l could say the same.
Like the saying goes:
''The best trick the devil ever pulled
was convincing man he didn't exist.''
Let me show you around.
l don't get it.
T-shirts?
Amazing what you can do
with the right chemicals.
This is how we plan to help you
get the heroin out of state.
No risky exposure,
no trail back to us.
These T-shirts are dipped
in a heroin solution...
...and dried under these lamps.
They're folded and sealed in
shrink-wrap.
Dogs can't even smell it.
You can send them anywhere you want.
Extract the heroin later.
You in?
Yeah, l am in.
Pick you up at midnight.
Me and the l Team came up
with some fascinating intel.
Latrell Walker's whole l.D.'s fake.
He paid a lot too. He has everything.
Driver's license, birth certificate,
credit cards.
He even has
a voter's registration card.
Normal investigation wouldn't have
uncovered this...
...but one of our dudes worked for the
lRS, and can computer-dissect anybody.
Who is he, then?
He's Shaun Rollins' brother.
Listen to this.
About six months ago, Latrell's little
brother, Shaun, gets popped.
He claims the heroin was planted,
but the cops made the charges stick.
Next thing you know,
Latrell's back in town.
That's why he was visiting him.
My sources ran a check on Shaun also,
and he's set for life financially.
How? From who?
He has a trust fund set up
in his name for millions...
...but he can't touch it
until he's 25.
-Who set it up for him?
-I am getting to that.
Shaun also has another brother, Leon,
or so I thought.
Now, Leon Rollins and Latrell Walker
are the same person.
You're shitting me.
Leon's also a gazillionaire.
How can a guy with no record make
so much money dealing heroin?
No, no. The guy's a computer wiz.
Started up a dot-com out of Virginia
called ''999.com:
Anything you want under 10 bucks. ''
He did great. Lucky bastard cashed
out just before the bubble burst.
Maybe Latrell's buying the heroin and
seeking distributors on the lnternet.
Welcome to the Computer Age,
my friend.
No street involvement,
no watching out for cops, no risk.
lt's brilliant, isn't it?
lt still doesn't add up
unless they have some big debts.
Well, here's all the paperwork.
l got lPO statements, tax returns.
l got his address from a crooked
car dealer we investigated.
l am not sure it helps,
but l did my job.
You did good, man.
Thanks, partner.
Let's go. Smash it!
Let's move it!
Montini, Useldinger...
...what a surprise.
This to make me talk?
No, it's to make you die.
lt's from Latrell. He made us
an offer we couldn't refuse.
Look out!
Shoot him!
You don't have the balls
to kill me yourself.
You don't know
what you're talking about.
-l know everything about you.
-About time.
But why would l want you dead?
Because l am that close
to locking you up with your brother.
You want to see what's going on?
Come on.
lt's all right, it's all right.
Chill.
This is my operation.
-What's up, man?
-Yeah, it's all right.
l believe you two have met.
The hell are you doing here?
You want another ass-whupping?
l am joking. Your grill's downstairs.
l can get it right now.
Come, l want to show you something.
All right.
You.
Good memory.
This is Trish, my guardian angel.
-She's helping with the project.
-What project?
See, a lot of people talk about police
corruption, but no one ever sees it.
l figured l'd be the one to show it
to them...over the lnternet.
Have a seat.
-How much?
-How about 25?
With a cut here, a cut there.
It will double your money easily.
Quickest quarter mil you will ever make.
I need major weight.
I need it yesterday.
We have been tracking their activity
for months.
l am compiling the video
on our digital editing system.
Come with me.
Be back in an hour.
When we have enough evidence,
we will show it to the authorities.
lf that doesn't work, we will post
the video on our Web site.
Why you pressing me?
If I wanted to bust you, I'd
have brought you in a long time ago.
This is business. I just got a
lot of product for our next deal.
lncriminating shit.
They think l am a buyer from the West
Coast looking to score major weight.
They raised it too.
l don't know how, but they got 5
million dollars' worth of shit.
Piper Tech.
Run number eight.
-You sure?
-Yeah.
Welcome to the inner sanctum,
Mr. Walker.
Always wanted to do that shit.
You didn't know he was in on it?
''The best trick the devil ever pulled
was convincing man he didn't exist. ''
Where'd you guys get this stuff?
From everywhere.
Check it out.
This is our stuff.
We have cameras in everything.
Watches, batteries, purses,
you name it.
This is a little camera that can be
hidden anywhere and can see it all.
And you're the star
of a few of these as well...
...Mr. Boyd.
Come on, let me go.
Shit, man!
Come on!
Lucky move.
Unlucky face.
T, get us something to drink.
Just because l own a bar don't mean
l am lsaac from The Love Boat.
A Hennessy Paradis, please.
Yes, massuh. Should l get some
for Mr. Charlie too?
What do you think?
l think we need to take them down now.
Not yet. l want to catch all these
guys at once. Stick it to them.
l won't wait. They tried to kill me.
l won't let you ruin this.
My brother's ass is on the line.
What's he got to do with it?
Your buddies wanted their own drug
dealer on the street.
Rather than lose him, they framed
Shaun. l got to get him out of jail.
l made my father a promise
before he died.
That l'd always be
my brother's keeper.
l keep my promises.
Where'd you promise
to meet these boys?
Frederick's Cleaners.
After midnight.
l will need a car.
Give him the keys.
T, the keys.
Come on, man.
My mama don't even drive my car.
Give him the keys.
You scratch it, you buy it.
Nice inconspicuous car you got there.
Thank you.
What did you find out?
Piper Tech was hit by cops.
Cops.
Come on, Boyd.
Strutt, Useldinger, Montini,
they're all dirty.
Are you positive?
What proof do you have?
Start the car.
Get the car! Let's go!
-ls that proof enough?
-Yeah.
Now move.
Step on it. We got him.
Come on!
-There he is.
-Pop him now!
Shit!
Hold on!
-l always said women are bad drivers.
-l agree.
-There he is!
-Yeah.
-Get up on them!
-l am on him!
Shit!
Shit! Goddamn!
Get out of the way!
Get out of the way!
-Go right.
-Going left.
Get up to him!
Shoot him!
Damn!
Hey, my bike!
l got a date tonight!
Move!
Get out of the way!
Go around!
Oh, shit!
-Push it through!
-l am!
Fucker.
Look out!
Just get it off!
There! There!
Get it the fuck off!
This better be good.
I am in hell.
What happened?
There's an APB out on you.
Mulcahy's dead, you fled the scene.
They try to pin Piper Tech on you.
Strutt and Montini.
They're behind everything.
-How do you know that?
-Because they tried to kill me.
-Look--
-You have known me a long time.
Have l ever lied to you?
What do you want me to do?
You said l never think before l act.
Well, l am thinking now.
l need backup.
There's a deal about to go down
in an hour.
Strutt's selling the heroin
he stole from Piper Tech.
l will get some men.
Strutt? What the hell
are you talking about?
You said you wanted
to clean up the streets.
Here's your chance.
Give me the baby, honey.
You take over.
Let's do it.
Right on time.
Punctuality is the soul
of good business.
l like that.
l like that.
Check it out if you want.
Frank.
Christ, Orin.
Did you bring anybody?
l don't know who we can trust.
You will need all the protection
you can get.
Let me hold that for you.
l haven't worn one of these in years.
Tastes like candy.
As you can see, we kept our end.
Now it's your turn.
ls that the money?
Half.
Two-point-five.
Deal wasn't for half.
l am just covering my ass.
You will get the rest
as soon as we leave in one piece.
You have my word.
Your word is not good enough.
Looks like we have a problem.
You will get your money.
You got to be sensitive
to my situation.
Half's better than nothing.
Hold up. Hold up. Now, listen.
Nobody's trying to fuck anybody here.
l think you are, Leon.
-What?
-What was you thinking?
Where are you going with this?
l thought you was smarter than this.
So did l, Strutt.
Move.
lf it ain't Hou-motherfucking-dini.
Escaped so many traps,
should be wearing a cape.
You said you had
this animal on a leash.
l guess l picked the wrong precinct.
Look around you.
You picked the right one.
Well, then, finish the job.
Nice friends you got, Boyd.
Don't give me that.
l have been on the force too long.
Laying my life on the line, and for
what?
A lousy $40,000 a year?
The hell with that!
You have single-handedly
screwed up my operation.
lt's our operation.
Let's get it straight.
l run this show!
Not you! Not him! None of you!
Prove it.
Kill him.
Freeze!
Shit! l am hit.
This is your big fucking plan?!
Go.
l will get Strutt.
Take care of Montini.
l got that motherfucker.
Don't leave me here!
l got you covered.
You okay, chief?
Hell, no!
You okay?
-l don't know.
-l will check your vest.
-Didn't go through.
-Good news.
Damn it!
Fuck!
Daniels!
Where you going?
You're fired!
This is Strutt, ready for pickup.
Go!
Shake him off!
You and your brother
can rot in jail together.
Motherfucker!
You all right?
You will be cleaning up the street soon.
Then l will be reading about you.
l don't know about that.
They won't let me through!
Yeah, let him in.
What happened here?
After all we been through?
We risk our lives, and l hear about
this on the strippers' scanner.
Oh, shit!
Can you do a story on me?
l was in there. The cops shot me.
l got shot 16 times.
Does that hurt?
Yeah! l ain't faking this shit!
Could we film your surgery?
Yeah, you can film my stuff.
l am going to be on TV.
-Can my mama come to the studio?
-You know it.
Cool. When you want to do it?
We're going to the hospital now.
-l will meet you there.
-Okay.
-Mr. Boyd! Some good work in there.
-Thank you.
Faster you get rid of dirty cops,
the better for all of us.
Thanks for making a difference.
You want your old job back, Two-One...
...it's all yours.
No, l think l will stay here.
Right, pard?
Yeah.
-You know where to reach me.
-Yes, sir.
By the way, Mr. Boyd...
...l fought in Vietnam.
That don't surprise me.
-Your buddies are on there.
-Heard about your brother.
Hopefully, that will get him out.
Think those tapes will
make a difference?
Courts don't give a shit about this.
So l had your brother pulled
from county.
Just in case.
Thank you.
See you around, partner.
Thanks a lot.
You're welcome.
lt's been 30 days since l been
pinched, punched, scalded or stabbed.
Well, that's something.
l am not going to pay strippers
to beat me anymore.
l am living in a safe house,
if anyone wants to reach me.
Linda, l am a changed man
with a lot of problems...
...so we will see a lot of each other.
l have signed up for your shame
and impotence class.
And these are for you.
Thank you.
That's super, Henry.
So l'd like to proudly acknowledge
our very own hero, Orin Boyd.
Hey, guys. You need some love.
Come on.
Come on. Group hug.
Get in here. Come on, everybody.
We're proud of this man.
Feels good, don't it?
Where are we going?
You guys got to stay here.
Ladies and gentlemen, l am honored
to introduce my new cohost.
How about a big hand for T.K. Johnson.
What's up, White Chocolate?
-Good to see you too.
-All right.
We got together
when we filmed your surgery...
...and l have got to tell you.
You had the gown on,
and it slipped up, and l will tell you.
lt's not true what they say.
Do you like to be called a black man?
Do you like to be called
a African-American?
l like to be called T.K., baby.
Don't label me.
l mean, what, do you prefer ofay?
Or do you prefer cracker?
Redneck? Which one do you like?
Cracker's good. Yeah.
Hi, Mama.
-She's out there?
-l love you.
-Your dad watching?
-Yeah, but he got glaucoma.
He probably home, smoking a joint.
He can hear me.
-Good.
-Daddy. Save some for me.
Save some for me.
Remember, puff, puff, pass.
Puff, puff, pass. He like to hold
on to the weed sometimes. He's old.
-Yeah? How old is he?
-48.
ls Tawana backstage?
-My nipples are sensitive. Yours?
-Yeah. And huge.
l always tell women this.
lf you want it to be over,
lick my nipples.
l like my nipple nibbled on and
bit and pulled. l like a little pain.
l like it too. Very little.
You don't want to say it,
but they get out of control.
-But they are.
-l sort of like it.
Because l am black,
you say l got to do a B and E?
No, no, but....
l pulled your record
before l came over here too.
l know what you used to do.
And l still do.
-You been with a big woman?
-l have.
How was that?
lt was fine.
But l will say this,
they're not jolly.
-They can be cranky.
-Feed them.
-Now, you like big women?
-l love big women.
lf you want to feel the heat,
you got to have the meat.
Yeah, baby.
A big woman is always good.
Good for shade in summer
and good for warmth in winter.
You're not masturbating enough.
-l masturbate two, three times a day.
-Do you?
l like to do it at the tanning salon.
-You got time to kill.
-At the tanning salon.
You probably aren't in there.
But you got to be careful,
because when you're doing it...
...you can't wear the goggles,
you got to watch the door.
So you can go blind masturbating
actually, like the old saying.
Every night, same routine.
l get a towel...
...half damp on one side, warm water.
Half dry on the other.
Astroglide. Lesbian porn.
Second only to nature.
No dicks allowed, number 67 or 69.
l don't get in trouble.
Clean up, everything's nice.
Although you can get that
on the remote control.
When you do a number two,
do you use a Handy-wipe?
l wipe, then l take a lot of toilet
paper and dip it in water....
-ln the bowl?!
-ln a clean bowl.
-That's what l do.
-And then l wipe my ass.
We're too old to have shit stains
in our drawers.
Can't be cool when you got a big-ass
shit stain.
l have not peed the bed
since l quit drinking.
But l won a chugging contest
before l quit.
And l not only peed the bed,
l shit the bed.
l was in college. l woke and thought:
''What did my roommate do?''
And then l went, ''Wait a minute.
What did l do?''
lf you have a real problem,
get Viagra.
You don't need a problem for that.
You just go and get it.
They need to get that for women.
Well, they would call it Niagra then.
-You watch Oprah?
-Big or small Oprah?
l never liked small Oprah
because her head is too big.
Her head too big for that little body.
Then the eye started to droop.
Looked like E.T.
-Oprah. Stay big.
-Oprah's great.