|
Fagbug Nation (2014)
Well, I'm Jewish.
My ancestors are Jewish. We would never drive a Kikebug. So, I'm just wondering ... It's a really offensive term. I was wondering, what's the argument with fagbug? [Voiceover] It started like any other trip to the movies. [Usher] Theater number seven to your right, thank you. [Voiceover] But people at the Fagbug premiere got to see a road trip about tolerance unfold before their eyes. [Voiceover] I'm a 65yearold fag in a '99 Beetle. [Voiceover] The documentary chronicles Erin Davies crosscountry trek in her Volkswagen that was vandalized with the words "fag" and "U R gay." [Man] What happened to a car and then was able to use it as away to get people to talk about what happens to human beings. I thought it was very effective. [Voiceover] Davies was admittedly nervous about the movie premiere here in Albany because this is where here lifechanging journey started six years ago. But, 48 states, four broken windows, and over 200 speaking events later, she says it's been a wild, and wildly important ride. [Erin] When my car first got vandalized, I decided to leave the graffiti on the car to show a visual example of what homophobia looks like to people who may have never experienced it. A year after I began driving my car with the graffiti, I gave my car a colorful makeover. I planned a 58day trip around the US, and filmed the documentary, called Fagbug about the adventure. The film is now on Netflix, and has quite a cult following from people all around the world. Since then, I've become a nationally touring motivational speaker. On a fulltime basis, I present the Fagbug story to high schools, middle schools, colleges, and businesses. Once I began traveling, my car became known as the fagbug. I made sure to take a picture of every "welcome to" sign I came across. It was always a goal of mine, from the very beginning, to get my car to all 50 states. It took me three years to reach 48 states. I spent another three stuck at 48. Hawaii and Alaska being the last two I had yet to get to. If you're at 48, you've gotta do noncontinental states. Hawaii's fabulous. Why not? And, Alaska ... is Alaska. I planned a fourweek tour where I booked myself 26 days straight. Along the way, I interviewed over 1,000 people. Not once did I have to ask anyone to do an interview. They all came to me. That's the magic behind the car. It allows people's defenses to disappear, and brings to the surface what's always been there, but otherwise would not have been seen. We run far away from here ("We Run" by Caleb) We run far away from here And we run far away from here And we run far away from here And we run far away from here And we run far away from here And we run far away from here [Sonya] I just want people to understand that the Fagbug, as a whole, with Erin and the car included, is a partnership. The car is her business partner. It takes at least, at the very minimum, 50 percent of everything that she makes. [Erin] If you were me, and you went through 48 states with a car, would you wanna get to all 50? Absolutely. Absolutely, including Hawaii and Alaska. How would you do that? I was planning on covering the cost myself with my tour that I was booking. But, Sonya had an idea that I should start a Kickstarter campaign just because it's so much money. It costs about $2300 to ship the car from California to Hawaii, and back. So, I'm on a three and a half week trip. I've taken my car to all states, except Alaska and Hawaii. I'm literally on my way to Los Angeles. I'm shipping my car, April 26th, to Hawaii. Today's Saturday, I have an event to be at in Northern Illinois, about five hours from here. Monday morning at nine, my car is stuck in the middle of a road, blocking traffic. Getting it towed now. [Man] This young lady's vehicle will not go into gear. We feel that it has a clutch problem. My car is getting worked on right now. It needs a new clutch. They tried other things but worstcase scenario is what happened. It's gonna cost about $1500. So, here we go. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14 ... $1500 ... is going into fixing my clutch. I did have an event scheduled today at Northern Illinois University. Since they got me a rental car, I was willing to drive there. It's about five hours away. I gave them the option of me coming, and getting there in time for the screening tonight, or rescheduling. They chose to reschedule ... because they'd rather have the car there. See, people like my car more than they like me. The car is really kind of the center of attraction, I think, with your story and your program. We wanted to do something like this, where we could have your car and you out in the daytime to get more interest in the evening. Just didn't think it was gonna work out very well without the actual bug here. These things will work in time We both say willingly But history repeats itself Says something inside of me I will not be pushed around For mutual gain We're framing the fabric For intensity's sake My favorite part of driving the car for the last six years is that people have left handwritten notes on my car. This one is my secondfavorite one. I don't know who left this, but can you read this one to me? It says, "I sometimes run past your car "when I'm out running. "I told myself the next time I did, "I would break up with my perfect boyfriend "and tell him the truth, I'm gay. "Here goes nothing. "Thank you Fagbug." Oh my, God, that's cool. It's written on this little kittycat PostIt. My car has been egged. My car has been keyed, the whole driver's side. Mud's been thrown at my car. My car has been spit on. One time, somebody put a trashcan on my car, upsidedown. Another time, somebody put both my windshield wipers and stood 'em standing straight up and down. I was like, "If you're gonna do something, like seriously, "that's the best you can come up with?" My car has only been rewritten on again, one time. Somebody wrote, "Faggets plus dikes need to die," on my driver's side window. If you look closely, they also misspelled faggots and they misspelled dykes so I try to keep in mind the intelligence level of who we're dealing with, here. [Girl] I think ... it's Ok to be gay. You're just goin' to hell, but it's Ok. [Erin] Would you drive this car around? Hell no! [Erin] Why not? People gone get the wrong idea. (laughter) [Erin] People will think you're gay? Yeah! [Erin] So you wanna stay as far away from it as possible? [Harrison] Yeah, I'm gonna have Freddy comin' from across the road, (exaggerated) "Hey!" Get the fuck away from me. That's someone who's not comfortable with their sexuality. No, I just don't like being around faggots. I was just looking out from the window, and was just seeing that three guys, about teenage age, just walking up, taking pictures. I see one guy. He was facing towards the window. I see him just bending down, and just mooning the camera, or mooning his friend's phone. I'm thinking, "Oh my, God. "That guy is mooning the car." [Erin] You decided to moon my car? I'm sorry, it's just a thing we do. [Erin] What made you wanna moon it? I don't know, it's just a thing we do. [Erin] You just moon everything in Bakersfield? Pretty much, huh? [Luis] Yeah. [Erin] Was it your idea or him to moon the car? Yeah. [Erin] Why'd you think that would be cool? (laughs) To put it on Facebook or Tumblr. [Erin] So, you saw the car? How'd you see it? [Jeremy] I walked past it out of the hotel. [Erin] What'd you think? [Jeremy] I thought it was pretty cool. [Erin] And you took a picture of it? [Jeremy] Yeah. [Voiceover] What'd you do with the picture? Tagged it on Instagram. Threw it to my Facebook. Put a nice pride tag on it, and everything. Within ... 10 seconds, I think it was, somebody told me your whole story. Why aren't you driving the Dykebug? Lesbians, I guess that's the ... That's what I wanna know. [Adam] It'd be the same thing, right? But, is it something you take offense to? [Jim] The Dyke Bus. [Erin] You think it should be called the Dykebug? The Dyke Bus. With a bunch of dykes on it. Just seeing the car name is Fagbug, I think that's just an insult. [Voiceover] I'm on the way here from Nebraska. Some guys in a truck drove by and blew up a condom, and were waving it out their window at me. Another person in a truck, way ahead of me, slowed down. I thought, "They're really wanting me "to catch up to them so they can get pictures." As soon as I came up next to them, they were taking pictures. I really don't like when people keep surrounding my car, and make it so it's unsafe for me to drive, (mumbles) I don't know, going 15 miles an hour on a 75mileanhour road just to get a picture. It's not safe for anybody. The ones that jaw flap ("Straighten Up" by YG Rippa) And always run they mouth Be the main ones that don't know crap 'Bout what they saying they playing They put they issues on you But you gone listen to the fool But he the one fooling you Some guy wrote on Twitter. Actually, he walked by a while ago. He said that he wanted to throw the table over and kick out the windows to the car. Well, uh ... You found me on Twitter posting comments about ... the fagbug. [Erin] What'd you think when you first saw it? Well, a lot of things, I guess. Mainly, why was it here? I kinda was getting mixed thoughts 'cause I didn't know if you was progay or antigay. Really didn't know. As I looked into it, my views and thoughts kinda changed on it, because I'm for a lot of movement. Definitely if it's something positive, I'm all for movements. I can also respect that it's a story behind the Fagbug. You don't even know what you reaching for ("Straighten Up" by YG Rippa) Trying to get out of your hole But you just keep on digging more Pull yourself up dust your ish off Keep your chin up chin up And straighten up or give it up [Terence] When I was driving through Downtown Chico. I was on a cookie run. We did chocolate chip cookies this afternoon. Your car was parked on the side of the road, so I ... got online, emailed you, and you showed up. In the last six years, I replied to every single person that's ever sent me a message, unless, for some reason, I accidentally missed it. So, I probably responded to 30,000 emails. I try to be as available to this conversation as I can. This one's from Syracuse, New York, and it says, "I'm sick of seeing your car around here, "and sick of hearing how inspiring of a person "people think you are, or vice versa. "I think you are a selfindulging cunt "who is taking advantage of something "that happened to you seven years ago "for personal benefit. "Get a real job, stop being a bottom feeder. "Setting a terrible, pathetic example "for the GLBT community." So, even this woman, her name was Janet Smith, I emailed ... I even responded to her, and said I'd be more than glad to meet you in person, have a facetoface conversation. And of course even, she declined. I'm amazed that your approach is, that anybody who writes to you deserves an answer. I just love for that. [Lady] That's awesome! I just think that's so amazing. And you've obviously gotten some bad responses but you're talking. You're just wonderful, I think. Throw me in the water ("Bottomfeeder" by Amanda Palmer) 'Cause I want to be a bottomfeeder [Voiceover] I seen an article on TV about somebody painting a house in colors like this across the street from an antigay church and I thought it was unbelievable what they're doing and it kind of reminds me of the same thing. We're in front of the Equality House, which is across the street from the Westboro Baptist Church, the most known hate group in the United States perhaps right now. This is a house that we painted the colors of the pride flag and it also has actually more colors that the pride flag to reflect a greater diversity. This isn't just a gay rights issue, this is about everyone. Many years ago when I first went to community college, I was actually still in high school. The community college that I attended was Kilbourn College and there was a production of Angels in America slotted to go on campus and so I was actually cast in that as a 17 year old in high school. The Westboro Baptist Church came in to protest with signs that had stick figures that were having anal sex, anal intercourse with flyers that said "Maggots are better than faggots, "because at least maggots are natural." What's the opposite of God? The devil. What's the opposite of a regular marriage between a marriage and a woman? Gays! So it's a whole opposite thing, good and bad. I don't agree with Westboro Baptist at all because what they're basically doing is presenting their opinions in probably the most controversial way they possibly can do it. And that's not the message of Christianity. That's not the message of what God would have us doing. You might see their hatred but there's still love all around and so it's supposed to be where ever there's hate, there's also love, you just have to look for it. I love the fact that you stopped at the Rainbow House right across from Fred Phelp's church because he is the biggest bigot in the world. And I've had people ask me why hasn't somebody shot him it's like, 'cause none of us want to make a martyr out of him that's why. My comment on that is the bullet is scared to hit 'em. (laughter) [Erin] How did you feel about this house when they painted it? A breath of fresh air. When they finished painting it, and that flag went up, the United States flag flying the way it was designed to fly, proudly. and the rainbow flag below it. That's what freedom's about. Freedom to express ourselves any way in this United States that we feel comfortable doing. We actually have a third boyfriend. We were trying to get him to meet up with us but we're a throuple, so there's three of us. [Erin] Like a triad? Yeah, a triad. We call it a throuple instead of a couple. [Erin] How do your families respond to that? Well, that's real interesting because Noni's parents know Todd's family knows but I haven't talked to my family about it at all, 'cause it's like I said before, I'm really scared what would happen if they rejected me. I have a great family and we're really close. We've just never talked about it any of this. I knew about there being gay people and I knew about straight people, so I thought there was maybe something kind of wrong with me. Maybe I wasn't all the way gay or all the way straight. "Do other people have crushes on both boys and girls?" But then when you talk to your friends, "No, no way!" "No way, ew!" The other girls were like, "No way, I wouldn't have a crush on a girl, that's gross." So it was like I knew I was definitely different. But then I knew I wasn't different in the ways that like the gay kids were different. So I couldn't figure that out and so I thought maybe there was just something weird or freakish about me or something, I didn't know about bisexuality. I just sort of carried it with me, almost like a secret. I'm pansexual, which means I see people for who they are and I don't classify as male or female. [Erin] So you just have more of an emotional connection with people? Yes. [Erin] Do people understand that mostly or no? I think mostly people are like say the same thing like, "Oh, bisexual" but it's completely different because if I classified people as their gender, they may not associate with that gender. It's all a matter of how they feel but I connect to people in general, regardless of sex. [Erin] So you don't identify as bisexual? No. [Erin] Ok, what's the main difference between pansexual and bisexual. A pansexual is more of emotional connections and not classifying people as male or female, just accepting all people equal. [Erin] So it would be more like you're open to someone even if they're transgender? Yeah! I consider myself a straight woman. [Erin] Ok and how about you? I'm a transgender man. And I identify as queer. [Erin] Ok what does that mean, like that term mean to you? What queer means to me is sort of ... I'm just gonna be different. I've dated men, I've dated women. I'm open to people of all genders and sexuality. Not any more that I'm with the person that I want to be with forever. But yeah, I don't feel that I can be defined. I like the term queer in that it's about being different always. I thought it showed an impressive amount of dedication to say, "Ok, I'm going to ship a car." That's pretty impressive. So kudos on the stubbornness. To be able to ship the car I have to have an emergency working brake and my emergency brake works about 70 percent. We got parts ordered for you, which we're installing now, we're replacing some rusted, corroded brake cables and brake calibers. You're having something done to your car to prepare it to be shipped to Hawaii from San Diego I hear. Getting my car fixed today is almost $1200. Fixing the emergency brake. So that's happened. I'm always getting work done that's $25. My spark plugs was $100. Getting my front and back lights was about 300. I have an event with Sunseeker GLBT Resort and Maui Pride. They've set up a screening of the movie with the car on May 10th and so when I called to make the reservation the woman said there's really no guarantee and there's no way of getting a guarantee so the car could actually not be there in time and I know that they they really want the car to be there. If the car's not gonna be there, they're not sure if they would wanna to do the event without the car. I'm feeling a lot of pressure right now. Just uneasiness of kind of at the whim of, I've never had to ship my car before so this is somewhat unsettling. We're at San Diego Vehicle Processing Center (mumbles) to Hawaii. doing an inspection on your vehicle, writing down any chips, dents, scratches, I'll check the interior for dirt and soiling, then we will take the vehicle, put it on a transporter and take it down to the ship. If Erin called me from Hawaii and told me that she wishes that I was there with her, I could not handle it. I'd much rather drive somewhere, than drive 20 hours up there. I fly sometimes but I really get nauseous on a plane. We're about to get on our final plane for Hawaii. While Erin was away, I was obsessively looking up with anticipation of coming here on Google Earth and looking up all the pictures and all around and I knew instantly I was like, "Erin, I want to live there." My main concern with Hawaii is making sure the car actually gets shipped there successfully. We're walking to pick up Erin's car. We've already been told be a couple people we can't videotape here. We have a nine o'clock appointment. It's about 10 after now. We have a little bit more of a walk to go. Hopefully my car is here. As soon as we came into this gated area. I just felt so excited to see my car and how colorful it was and just in the parking lot. I've had all this anxiety not knowing if it was gonna make it in time when they told me there's no guarantees. I felt like I just didn't know what was gonna happen. It's kind of surreal to see your car here in Hawaii. I feel really happy that it's actually here. [Sonya] Are you on the verge of tears right now? I don't know. Kind of with so much uncertainty with this and I know I have plans, I have an event tomorrow. It was a lot of money getting it here. [Sonya] A lot of pressure on you? You almost thought it wouldn't be here. You were preparing yourself for the worst? Yep. We were just driving along and there she is in the fagbug pulling out of the port, covered with salt spray I was like, "Oh my God, there she is, I can't believe it, she's here!" I seen rainbow, at first I thought was, "Oh peace" and then when we read it we were like, "What?!" We were driving on the road. I saw the fagbug and I pretty much crashed our car into the sign 'cause I was like, "That's the fagbug!" And I yelled it to my coworkers and they didn't know what I was talking about. So I pulled over, I was really excited to see you here in Maui. I've been following the story for like six years. (mumbles) and you put it down at the doorways I'm planning on going on there soon, checking it out. I mean I've seen a car like this but not how the paint job is and stuff like that. That makes it, three thumbs up. (laughter) They thought they'd bring this car over so that they could drive it while they're on vacation. That's crazy! I had nothing set up in Hawaii or Alaska. So I was trying to figure out something to help with the trip so I eventually found this hotel is called Maui Sunseeker GLBT Resort So they're basically comp'ing our room for five nights in exchange for us showing the movie. I think that it's a powerful message that needs to be carried to all 50 states. I want to join the cause and contribute, so here we are. Erin had reached out to me and asked about coming to Maui and this was part of her dream to complete her tour and for all of you that come from the main land you know that it takes a lot to get here. And moving a car here and all the headaches that you deal with and timing that to make sure that we can have this date at this theater at the same time. It took quite a bit of coordination. I don't ever give out my toy cars because they're very expensive to produce. I really can't give them out but because this is a special opportunity, once in a lifetime for me to be here in Hawaii, I'd love to give the couple ... Who are the kids in the audience? Could you both come up here real quick? I just would love to give both of the kids in the audience. Thank you for your patience. (applause) A lei is just a formal exchange of aloha, of greeting, of affection, of welcoming. It's just like a little token and there's a lot deeper meaning obviously to the native Hawaiians and so forth. For the lei person, I'd consider myself a lei person and I'm not of Hawaii ancestry or blood. We use it as a token of a gift of welcome, affection. Say, "Hey, welcome to the island, welcome to our home." [Erin] What do you think of the fagbug getting laid? Do it, do it, yeah, yeah! [Erin] Have you ever given a lei to a car before? I have never leid a car before. He's gotten laid in a car. (laughter) Just seeing the way the people initially embraced us and welcomed us and they made a 20 foot long lei for her car. [Erin] Where did you guys get the lei from? [Bruce] We made it. [Erin] You made it? [Bruce] We bought all the individual ones and we put them altogether so that we'd have the colors of the rainbow flag for it. [Erin] That's awesome, thanks so much, that's so fun! [Chuck] You're so welcome. Welcome to Hawaii! [Sonya] I just felt like it was just culminating right there. It was just a special moment that they they prepared for us in advance to share with them, so that was really nice. They got all this put together and brought that out today. That was my highlight of the day today. [Rudy] A lot of people use the word pride almost as if it were a badge of honor but really when you think about it, pride is a lot of times the cause of shame and the way out of shame is humility. I've realized that perhaps being more humble and not as proud is really the best way to get out of that whole shameful situation. Mahu is used as a Hawaiian word for gay. But a mahu meant an effeminate male. They were raised as not particularly as a woman but as an effeminate male. But in the Hawaiian culture they were actual medicine people or consultants to the king and queen. They were revered as high in the Hawaiian court. But as time went on, you'll hear people go, "Oh mahu, you fucking mahu!" That means basically, it's faggot. [Erin] When you were younger and growing up, do you remember hearing people say, fag and gay and those kind of words? I was playing a club called the Rawhide in Los Angeles and I found out all the men were gay but they looked like cowboys. I thought it was just a country western bar. [Erin] So that's how you first heard the word? You didn't even know gay existed? I didn't until I saw two men kissing. [Erin] In 2006. And I thought, "What the crap is going on here?" I didn't know! I think in the fifth grade there was a boy that for whatever reason people started to pick on, and even though he had been really popular. Then they started to pick on him. I remember after school one time everybody following him and calling him a fag. That still kind of obviously bothers me to this day that I sort of went along with it all. When I was a little kid, I heard that word getting tossed around a lot. [Erin] How old were you? I would say probably around eight, nine. I grew up in a rough life. [Erin] Did anybody ever say it to you? Oh yeah, I've been called (unclear) a million times. But I love it, I'm a fag, I'm proud to be one. [Clayton] I'll give you an example of something that happened last night, we were walking over to the restaurant for dinner and the two guys in front of us were holding hands and I'm like, "Oh gosh!" I kind of walked back a little bit. I'm like, "Oh I don't want them to think I'm gay too." Because you can become a victim of a crime, that easy. [Erin] So you guys don't walk around holding hand hands together? No definitely not! And it always makes me a little uncomfortable being around other gay people that do. I don't really say anything to them but it just makes me feel uncomfortable because I'm not very big and I've had my own share of being picked on all my life. I got beat up a lot. And it's nice now to just be proud and out. [Erin] Why do you think some people, especially in your position as educators, feel hesitant to come out? Well it's dangerous, it's super dangerous 'cause it could cost us our job. But certain things you've got to stand up for and that was one of the things I was willing to say, "I'm gay and you're going to fire me, "then you got to fire me." I have my masters in education and I got certified to teach K12 art. In the process of getting certified you have to do two placements, one at elementary level, one in high school. So I had the elementary level placement first. I was in a K through eight school. And in the first nine days there were 39 antigay comments made in the classrooms I was in. And it came to a point where it just had gotten so bad that I finally just told the students, "I'm gay and I'm not gonna tolerate that "in the classroom." And within 48 hours I was fired from my placement. [Voiceover] I have an eight year old boy who after seeing her by the grocery store wanted to know what fag was and that to me is an issue! Sexual orientation, especially in kindergarten or first grade, shouldn't be an idea or thought. I used to work with kids for eight years at churches and one of the things one of the pastors talked to me about was working with kids and he knew that I was a closet gay and didn't want me to have certain relationships with the other boys and I was like, "Nothing's changing." You have boundaries with anybody that you work with whatever you do, just because you're gay doesn't change the way you're gonna have a relationship with a kid. I showed him a picture of the toy car 'cause a friend of ours has one and he wanted a rainbow car of his own. We wanted one because we like yours and we just think it's really cool. It's something for him to show his little friends and perhaps help teach other kids that everybody should be treated equal. There are some routes that know me by name because I've driven them more than others. I'm a substitute driver. Most of the time the way the conversation will happens is they'll have conversations among themselves. Tallying up, giving me boy points and girl points. They'll talk about how, "She sounds kind of like she's a boy but there are all these "other things about her that are feminine" in so many words then finally one or two brave students will come up and ask me if I'm a boy or girl and I'll tell them that's not the question you should be asking. The question you should be asking is whether or not you think I'm Ok to drive this bus, whether or not you think I can transport you safely. My aunt got a restraining order against me to keep me away from my little cousins and to basically keep me from turning them gay. I have three little cousins who I love and adore. They are like my other little sisters. We were really, really close until then. I also have a niece that was like a daughter to me. I helped raise her when she was born, my sister's a teenaged mother so the whole family helped with that. My niece was like my daughter and it really killed me because within the restraining order... My whole family lives within like virtually a block radius of each other. So there is absolutely no house on that block that I could go to that I wouldn't be in violation of. Not my parents house I couldn't go over to anything. Any family functions, I could not see my grandma who lives next door to my parents, my aunt who lives behind them. We literally live in a block radius of each other. It was covered under the protection that ... And I'm not completely sure how it was legit that they got this order but for some reason, the safety of her children was at stake because I was gay. You guys have been persecuted for so long. Why shouldn't you be allowed to educate people? and what a great way to educate people with a bug, the car, kids would love it and kids would understand and I bet you bottom dollar when you go in to those schools, there are so many people who have same parents that they call mommy/mommy or daddy/daddy and people just don't know it. I have two moms. Sometimes I'll be in school, I have a step mom also, that's my dad's wife. And they'll go around and they'll say I have three dads. It's Ok, it get's annoying a little bit but I try to get through it. I'm on my school's archery team so my parents came watch me compete. And my friends were wondering if my parents were there. So I said, "Yeah my parents are over there." And they were like, "Oh who are they?" And I said, "Those are my moms." And they were like, "Oh, your step mom and your mom?" And I said "No, they are both my moms." And they were like, "Oh!" It can kind of be hard because sometimes you do lose friends or people who you thought you were friends with but I guess they really weren't your friends in the first place if they don't accept you and your family. I called my mom up just to see what she was doing and I went to go hang out with her. So I come dressed up like how I am, all manly and stuff. And she doesn't like that. And we were sitting on the couch and she's all far away and distant. She just like, "Well I just don't want you to hit on me!" There's nothing I could of said except for, "Hi mom." I mean how does that mean that I want to [Erin] So you think maybe because you like women she just thinks in her mind, just like how a lot of people think, that you're gonna hit on them? Yeah, they think that gay people don't have a type. I think people do have a type. You're my mom so of course you're definitely no way in hell gonna be my type. There is no way in hell I would find my mom attractive. I could say my mom is beautiful, that's different but I'm not like, "Damn, check out my mom! "Look at her ass, it's so fine!" No, I'm not gonna do that to my mom. I have a friend that I grew up with that he knew he was gay when he was young. Most of us kind of had the idea but he came out the closet when he was about 16 and his parents sent him on an LDS mission and basically just told him that if he didn't come back from the mission and not be gay he was gonna be cut out of the will. And very wealthy family, [Erin] Did he go on this mission? He did go this mission, he came back early and didn't do the whole two years. And he came back gay, imagine that. I identify as gay. [Erin] Oh you do Ok, all right. Did you come out when you were younger? No, it's still not out really to family. So if they see this, hi, surprise, surprise! [Erin] You found out your son was gay recently? Yeah, he came out in January 2012 at 13, which was about a little over a year ago. [Erin] How did he tell you? Well we kind of discovered. I was snooping through his journal. 'Cause he left it out and I was really worried about him. He was becoming really, really depressed and I just had a feeling to read it. And he had put some comments in there about some boys that he had found attractive. And it completely threw me off. I should have seen it coming, knowing my son but I didn't. So it was probably a couple of weeks before ... We would hint around and we would say things like, "If there was ever anything that you wanted to tell us "feel free to tell us and we'll love you no matter what." And he just didn't and he didn't and finally my husband just asked him and he just said, "Jordan are you having feelings of homosexuality?" And at the time he was kind of leaning against me and I had my arm around him and I could feel him start to tremble and start to shake, 'cause he was crying and I could feel him nod but I couldn't see his face and my husband said he never seen a kid look more terrified. He's this little 13 year old boy and I had had two weeks to kind of prepare so there wasn't the shock for me. And I think that was a big blessing for us because I could just ... At one point I put my hands on his cheeks and I made him look at me and I said, "This changes nothing for me. "I love you 100 percent, we will get through this. "I'm so proud of you, you're a great kid. "We'll figure this out and we're by your side 100 percent." And we're LDS, we're Mormon. I've come to find out lately that that is not the normal reaction for Mormon families which is so wrong and I can't even believe that that's not the normal reaction because what else do you do as a parent? That's the most important thing is you protect and you support and help your child when things are hard. And I've loved him for 13 years and I didn't know how to turn it off and I didn't want to. [Erin] Do you think your feelings changed by a little bit about it? Oh, absolutely. [Erin] Once you found out your son was gay? Absolutely, more tolerance. Less of the intolerance, the snickers, more of, "Ok, I need to open up a bit." One of my friends just came out. He's really awesome. He keeps getting bullied (unclear). I try to keep him from getting bullied but it doesn't happen. [Erin] Have you had people ever bully you or Yeah. [Erin] What do you think bullying means? I think it's not Ok because it's really hard to explain because I don't really think that other people should bully other people because that would just not make sense because we're all the same in some way and so that would be just like making fun of yourself in a way but not really and I think it's just poopoo to do it. It's not Ok. [Erin] Poo poo? Yes, it's poopoo. (makes poop sound) [Erin] How have people bullied you in school? I've been bullied for my favorite color, which is pink and I've had two people ask if I'm a girl. I've had people call me gay. A lot of bad stuff. Starting kindergarten just teased wearing clothes we bought in the boys section, blue and pink rugby shirt and some kids are saying boys don't wear pink and we tried to talk to him about what he could say, "Well yeah, boys wear pink, "'cause I'm a boy and I'm wearing pink." But it's hard right, and he's got different preferences. He started a Hollywood Club. and he has a fake eyelash collection. He doesn't wear them in school but he talks about it or Audrey Hepburn but most kids there embrace him for who he is, it's just been a few sour apples who've chosen to pick on him. He even got a concussion at the hand of a boy in first grade, who intentionally hit him in the head with a rock and we're not sure what caused it but it's the same boy who this year is teasing him and asking his if he's gay or calling him, girly boy and asking him if he's a girl. I see an atrophy what I thought we deserved I'm feeling victimized by the lies that were yours Take back the sudsies you brought to me And take back your words One of my best friends, her name is Shaniya, she had had suicidal thoughts before. And I stopped her from doing that 'cause I told her that there are other people that think that and you're not the only one. [Mikey] It started in fourth grade. There was a new kid in class and we used to hang out and then in sixth grade it kind of changed 'cause more people got there and I started dressing like I wanted to dress. I wear skinny jeans, high tops. People call me gay, I'm a fag and it kind of messes with me but I'm like, "You know what? "Ok, It ends here!" Maybe I am gay and I probably won't know it until I'm older, there's this kid that wants to jump me but one day, I told him to please stop, it's really getting on my nerves and I please would appreciate it, he said no. So I kind of went on a full rage and I said, "Ok, if you're not gonna stop "I will freak out on the teachers, on you and "the teacher will do something about it 'cause I will "make sure it will happen." And he pushed me down on the floor, people were huddling me saying, "You're a fag, you're a loser." When it gets serious and I have to report it and they don't do anything, I feel like no ones helping me anymore. People are just ignoring you because they're brushing you off, like you're nothing. I have suicidal thoughts some times. I don't want to but I feel like it's the only option for me. High school was kind of like an ignorant phase for me. I would call people faggot, I would people gay and stuff like that. Some times it was just like jokingly, other times it was being serious. [Erin] How would you say it? In like what context? Well, I knew this one kid, he was a wrestler and he was homosexual and I was like, "I don't wanna wrestle you because you're a faggot "and you're gonna feel me up and stuff." It was like that and I don't like talking about it 'cause it just really makes me think of all the bad things I said to people in my past for being a little bit different. [Erin] We are basically on a one lane road and we're up so high this is like the most scariest road I've ever seen. You have to keep pulling over for each person that's coming by. it's really scary. So now these people have to back up just to let us pass. [Sonya] Everybody's just going slow so you can get by. [Erin] Thank you. [Man] You're welcome. [Sonya] All right, this looks like a better road. [Erin] How do you define marriage? What does marriage mean to you? That's not a good question for me. I've been married four times. One time you're allowed. Two, you're kind of dumb, three God help you. Please don't let me do it again. [Erin] Do you guys feel like it should just be between a man and a woman? Or it should be for anyone to get married? Or what do you guys think about marriage? We have different opinions about that. I don't see a problem with it, it's just the same. [Erin] What's your opinion? I don't think that it should be a marriage considered because it's based on the bible and the bible says, man and woman. So i feel like you're pushing the preacher to do something that's going against his religion, basically. Everybody's argument is, "Well marriage is a religious thing" and blah, blah, blah. And if it's not through religion then it shouldn't be allowed. Well, we should not have allowed to be married then because there was no religion whatsoever, at all in any of our ceremony. This is a cultural issue. And it's deeply ingrained in us the idea of how marriage should be. The marriage should be man and woman I think. It's meant to have children and you can always adopt (mumbles) but you don't populate or anything like that. Gay people can't do that obviously in terms of having a baby. Gay mentality is only one sided, for that kid especially. Artificially inseminated or not. But then, it's done, it's genetic now. It's the thought process is already there, it's inbred. The unfortunate reality of it is that you kind of need that federal regulation but hopefully that one day that people just look beyond sexuality and gender as part of marriage and just see it as two people who are in love. [Erin] So you just got married? About two weeks ago. [Erin] Here, let me see your rings, you guys both have 'em on? No? Don't ask. [Erin] You don't wear yours? Yeah, but don't ask. I lost mine (mumbles). The ocean sucked it off his hand. Apparently, it's pretty common here. We got married legally married in Washington D.C. April 10th, 2012? 2010 sounds good, I think it was 2011. Whenever they made it legal we flew We ran over there quickly. And planned a quickie wedding. It was like a shotgun wedding, like I was pregnant. I totally am into having the government recognition and then the legal aspect as well but for myself personally from here on in, it's not my top choice to do the paperwork. When we received our recorded marriage license back from the county. It came back in a manilla envelope that wasn't damaged but when we opened it up, our marriage license had been pretty much mutilated. Ripped, holes punched in it, torn up. which clearly sent a message. Whoever processed it, the LA County saw it, obviously wasn't happy about our marriage. [Erin] I was surprised to hear that you guys are married I'm gay and she's straight. We married because we needed medical insurance and you can't get that when you're not married. Even though they do consider you common law. [Erin] How long have you two been together? [Both] Since '89. Married in 95' so almost married 20 years, married 18 years. [Erin] What's the key to your marriage lasting as long? We're friends. [Erin] You guys ever seen each other naked or no? Hell no! I mean she has only because of her operation and that type of thing in the hospital. I don't change in front of her and she don't change in front of me. (stammers) sorry. I like looking at women don't get me wrong, I admire, I'm an artist. And I have no problem looking at another man. Sexually, I could care less. [Erin] Isn't that hard for you since you're attracted to men? No, it's not hard for me. "Scenery, aisle four!" (laughter) Man that is. [Erin] So it wasn't just like only an arrangement? There is more to it but no completely the relationship? No sexual, that's it. Everything else is the marriage. And unfortunately, you already know that in most cases some marriages stop having sex after the age of 50 anyway. [Erin] What if it got legalized in all 50 states, would that change your relationship? Our relationship? No because Gilbert has had friends in the past, male relations in the past. And it didn't really matter. [Erin] The relationships you've had with men just haven't been permanent, like long lasting as this relationship? None of them were even thinking about trying to be serious. And still in the respect, I still wouldn't've done that only because that's not really what I wanted. I wanted to try and fit in. I remember in high school being attracted to guys and there was an article in Time Magazine about that time talking about two guys in California that were gonna get married and so there way this whole sort of thing about that and I remember hiding in a closet reading through this magazine going, "Really, that's possible?" It's kind of like one of those things I grew up knowing that it wasn't something that I would be able to do and it makes you feel not very valuable as a person And I've just sort of blocked that whole thought from my mind. If you want to get married, I shouldn't have to fight that battle for you, that's your battle, that's not my battle. Nowadays, things are changing. I can't hold any differences between one or the other. If a man wants to marry a man or a woman wants to marry a woman, I think it's all cool, that's what America is all about. Our journey is not complete until our gay brothers and sisters are treated like anyone else under the law for if we are truly created equal then surely the love we commit to one another must be equal as well. Take a walk in the valley Take a break from all your cares and concerns When I wanted to ask Erin to marry me I wanted to bring her here to Boldt Castle. on Heart island. I thought it would be a really romantic place, she beat me to it. She proposed a couple of days before I was going to but we had plans to come to Boldt Castle anyways. This is where I was gonna propose to you. Right here, my favorite spot in this castle. It's just so beautiful, I have so many fond memories I wanted to bring you here and share them with you. We met with this coordinator right here on the island and he was completely discouraging and disdainful of us getting married. We went in the office and asked about weddings in general and he was like, "Oh, who's getting married here?" and I said, "We are. And he was like, "Wow, that's what I thought." And we don't approve of that. "This is a family place." And pretty much right off the bat it was a bad first impression for Erin because I had said such good things about this place and spoke so highly of it and then pretty much instantly before we even step foot in the castle we have this guy being a complete douche bag to us. [Erin] Once we were denied the right to get married at the Boldt Castle, I did a search online and decided it just makes more sense to look into states that had already legalized gay marriage and Vermont popped up first. I stumbled upon a place called the Reluctant Panther. We went there and visited and Sonya and I fell in love with it instantly. I'll be still as (unclear) Take my hand I can be your lantern in the dark Lean on me for assurance Don't let it go this ship will row But it won't fall apart I got you It's all about you Something old something new Something borrowed something blue Until I'm through Something old something new Something borrowed something blue Until I'm through Erin, I'm so proud of all that you've accomplished in life and all your fagbug accomplishments in life and adventures, the start of your life with a wonderful woman. It's kind of weird but you're a super sister and an awesome aunt. My kids really do adore you and I love you very much. [Erin] What was your favorite part of the weekend for the wedding? I think it was spending time with family and the wedding happening. And I really liked going around Vermont and seeing all the stops and things. [Erin] What do you guys think of Sonya and I being married? Weird. Weird. Why is it weird? Because you guys are both girls. Yeah. [Erin] And why do you think that's weird? Because it is. [Erin] Who told you that it was weird? Nobody. We did. [Erin] Nobody? Do you think that two girls can be married? No. Can two boys be married? [Erin] Yeah, what do you think of two boys being married? No, no! [Erin] No, why not? Because. [Erin] You don't know why? Where did you learn that? No, no, I just know it. [Erin] You just know it? And how old are you? Five! [Erin] You're five and you just know it, huh? Yes. [Erin] What would you say to us about our husbands? I asked where the husbands are and you guys told me you guys are married so that's actually really cool too. Sonya and I were thinking of getting wedding band tattoos while we were here. Where? Tattoo your face. [Erin] The guy's name is Desmond No way. Why, make a statement man, that's the only way. You don't see any tattoos on my body or anything like that yet it's all clean. [Erin] you don't usually wear your wedding ring? Yeah, I hardly wear it. Well I took it off today because I had to go through TSA but even when I'm at work I don't wear it because it just gets in the way so I'm actually thinking about the same thing. [Erin] So I see you have a lot of tattoos, did you get those done in Hawaii? Yeah, all mine are done in Hawaii. [Erin] Are tattoos pretty popular there? Some what, I mean yeah but most of them just have meanings to them. It's only pain for love It's only pain for love Only pain for love dear Only pain for love dear It's only pain for love It's only pain for love Only pain for love dear Only pain for love dear I've got the key, got it in my pocket and everything, all the paperwork's set. Everything is good so we travel on with the journey and take the car to the next location. Why don't you leave the car here? I don't mind driving that around. I'll get a blast. I don't ever want to go back to work. I don't want to ever have normal jobs. I just want to move to Maui and sell our art and make it here. [Erin] My wife's saying that she wants to move here now. Oh right on! When'd you girls get married? [Erin] A year and a half ago in Vermont. Congratulations. [Erin] Thank you. Maui absolutely needed this. We have a great gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered community over here and over the past couple of years it's really started to coalesce. So to have you come here, raising awareness for gay rights is so important for Maui. Don't give up the fight Love is gone bite Love is gonna reign We've got to sacrifice here Every single night Looking for a dream We'll build it every time The heart is gonna beat [Erin] This trip I have four events and I'm driving. Drive to Alaska back home out of 20 days I'm on the road I only have four events the rest is driving. So I brought Hoosick with me on this trip. [Voiceover] He's a cute little guy. And you know if he goes missing, I didn't take him. [Erin] So I'm right outside where my car's getting shipped, I'm at the port. It seems like the company that handled my shipping didn't put it on the right boat because they said that the cars coming in from Hawaii, they come in once a week. So obviously my car didn't get on the right shipment leaving Hawaii. USDA doesn't come and they're located about a half hour away, they don't come. They only come on Tuesdays so asking them to come when they usually come and check all the cars. So like tons of cars they check in one day that they're not gonna want to come here, half hour away just to check one car. They take a glove they go underneath your wheel where your tire is and if there's any dirt on the glove your car gets held for another day or two, which will be going into Wednesday, Thursday. So if I don't get my car until Thursday and I have an event Saturday night in Anchorage, which is 45 hours away, I'm definitely not gonna make it in time. I just got a text message from my mom asking if I made it to Oregon Ok, if I was still in Oregon and she asked when I'm beginning to drive to Alaska and just add or did you change your mind? Yeah, I feel like I just came too far to just go home without doing it, you know what I mean? Just waiting here for a week for a few days, I wouldn't wanna just, I don't know. I have to figure something out. So in response to a Facebook update that I posted. I posted there was no delay on the boat coming over here the car just didn't get on the ship in time, it got on a week late. So in response to that, this person named Ray wrote and said, "Have you considered that maybe this mess "is the universe's way of letting you know "that it's perhaps not an altogether bright idea to take "a sometimes unreliable vehicle on a 45 hour "drive up to Alaska. "Having car trouble when you'll be traveling isn't like "anything you've had to deal with elsewhere "in the country. "I just don't have a good feeling about this leg of things. "Not on the tail end of all the recent car troubles you've had." I've opened my refrigerator 500 times ("Bored" by Astrogin) I keep on hoping but there's nothing inside I'm checking my messages Every five or 10 minutes Searching my mind but there's nothing in it Well I'm bored Out of my mind I'll be crazy in good time Today is Saturday and I'm just stuck waiting in Tacoma Washington, today is Sunday and I'm still waiting waiting it out. Today is Monday, I'm still waiting in Tacoma Washington I should be getting a call in about 10 minutes from the port, just with an update. The road is clear now I see all the way ("My Luck Today" by Los Blancos) And all the lights are green And everybody's out my way Oh I can't believe my luck today And Oh I can't believe my luck today I know it's something that she's got her mind set to do and I'm proud of her and it's kind of nerve wrecking worrying about her but I hope everything works out well, especially this trip to Alaska. I always just use my GPS for traveling. I'm really horrible at reading maps. I've been to Canada and used it. I assumed that Alaska will be in the GPS. And I just went to type in Alaska and three states came up for A, Alabama, Arizona, Arkansas. So Alaska is not showing up on my GPS which presents a little problem. Do you know how to get there from here? Yeah, you get on the freeway and go north. [Erin] Go north? Yeah. [Erin] And what freeway? High Five. [Erin] How far away is that? 50 kilometers, 30 miles. The intersection up top there, you should have turned right. And you probably went straight down and came down on this street here. [Erin] Any advice for getting to Alaska? If you see a sign that says, "Bump", you better slow down for it or it might cost you some money. Have fun, what else can you do? Don't pick up strangers. [Erin] Do a lot of people come through here for gas? [Voiceover] Yes, there is a lot. [Erin] A lot of truck drivers? [Voiceover] Not Americans to Alaska. [Erin] Are there a lot of gas stations on the way? Well, when you see one you better stop and gas up. So far I have kept my gas tank three quarters of a tank full at all times or higher. So every time I'm getting down to three quarters of a tank, I'm filling up. If you could see me now ("Ghost" by Envoi) You would take back all the things that You never said to me How I tried to make you love me But how can you Love a ghost Love a ghost of what was meant to be You'll never know How much I loved you [Erin] So if one of you had to go would you guys stay with each other if it was like two months? Yes! I can't sleep without him. His snoring puts me to sleep. And I don't think he sleeps very well without me either. [Erin] That's really sweet, how about you? If she had to go for like work or something for like a month or two would you [Kerry] leave me behind? Heck no! (laughs) He'd miss this! One of the great things about her and one of the things about her that sometimes is a set back is that she is very trusting and very honest. So meeting so many different people, so many different places she tends to put herself in a very vulnerable situation [Erin] Would you ever drive a car like this? It's better than walking. (laughs) Beggars can't be choosers. Over the past three and a half years, I've seen her be a little bit more keen with her judgment and have a little bit better discernment about people that she interacts with. So I have something to tell you. You're not gonna be happy about it but I don't know, I just have to tell you. So I was driving along after I talked to you and there was this guy like basically our age that was hitchhiking and I ended up giving him a ride. Well, he's fine, he's in the car with me right now so I just wanted to tell you but he's actually fine. [Nathan] Hello! No, I know you would be upset but I just wanted to let you know but it's fine he's just like going a certain distance and I'm dropping him off on my way. He was hitchhiking a lot of hours. [Nathan] You're in trouble. [Erin] So you have some maps right? I sure do. [Erin] Can you show me on your map again where I'm going? [Nathan] You're going to be going up the Alaska Highway here and you're going to be going past 101 through Pink Mountain and all the way up there and this is Alaska. [Erin] I'm on the right track so far? Sure, that I know of. Your dog seems to be very affectionate to me, yeah. [Erin] Do you like him? It's quiet and cute. That's just a little guy. You want me to go out and on the road? [Erin] No, that's Ok. [Nathan] We can document what not to do. I got a knife and if I got to fight a bear, I got to. You do what you got to do, there's no point in being afraid. We're looking at a bunch of sheep in the middle of a ditch, that's very random. [Erin] Have you ever seen this on any of your? Nope, I have not seen the sheep in the ditch yet on my nine travels back and forth. [Erin] Well hopefully they'll be Ok out here. [Nathan] Yeah, with that bear (laughter) that we just saw. He might be having the lamb chops I think. (laughs) I'm in a senseless struggle for security Ignorance is a song I don't wanna sing I wonder how they ever let this pass the eyes of everybody I'm taking back (unclear) I'm calling you out just remember that To get to them you have to Get through me Feeling's the same Making you lame Hope we can be their voice Thanks for picking me up. You're welcome, keep in touch on Facebook Ok? I will. Send me a friend request, I'll accept it. Thanks for the map. No problem. [Erin] Very helpful. All right, good luck. Have a safe trip. Ok, you too. [Erin] You're Ok giving him a ride from here? Sure thing. [Erin] Do you guys trust giving people a rides here? Do you think it's pretty friendly? I think he's fine, looks alright. I think we're pretty good. We've got two guys so I think we're all right. [Erin] Nothing to worry about? We're pretty safe out up here. Plus we've got guns in the truck so. (laughter) Sorry (laughs). [Erin] Guns in the truck? Yep. [Erin] Really? Oh yeah. [Voiceover] In bear country. We're in bear country, big bears too. The guy that just went in there seen a 600 pound bear there yesterday. [Erin] How do you feel about the bear? I would just go in my dad's room and grab the gun. And I'll just sit on the couch with the gun in my hand. [Erin] So you're just hanging out at this pub over here? [Cole] Yeah, at this strip club yeah. [Erin] All right, having a couple of drinks with your friends? One or two. [Erin] Ok, and then I was about to get in my car and what did you say? I said, "Hey what's up, that's you in the fagbug?" [Erin] And you said you wanted to be friends? Yeah. [Erin] What made you want to come over and talk to me? 'Cause you're fucking hot and I wanted you to come and have a drink with me. Why the fuck not? [Erin] Do you have a girlfriend? Yeah. [Erin] Why you talking to me like that then? I don't know, it's wrong, whatever. It doesn't matter. Do I care, you're a lesbian anyways, don't worry about it. [Erin] Hey I know you're nearly sleep so I'm just going to be going to get a hotel now. Whoa whoa Whoa whoa (unclear) Whoa whoa I always appreciate it when people go out to go out of their element to educate others. [Erin] The roads are Ok this way? You'll run into a bunch of frosties. [Erin] What is it? [Darcy] Frosties. [Erin] What's that? [Darcy] A bunch of bumps in the road. Why you always kicking up the sand Always kicking up the sand Man you're angry and it makes my eyes hurt Why you always kicking up the sand Kicking up the sand You block your (unclear) So the sunbeams miss it Right here in black spray paint right on the edge of the overlook somebody wrote, "Fuck you faggot". Is that not what I was expecting to see when I pull over here for a second. We saw another one with a big penis on a rock wall and we were kinda trying to figure that out as well. I've never in my entire life seen a body of water this bright green and blue. Beautiful! We have seen a lot of bears and we have seen also grizzly near Jasper. It was six meters far away. But I don't go out the car. Only we have make photos from the car. Even think about going to the bathroom I never even thought of that as a concern but like you have to really go to the bathroom and there was nowhere to go. I had to go on the side of the road twice. So I was on the main Alaskan highway and I pulled off to go to the bathroom somewhere outside. But once I pulled off onto this dirt road, I saw there were actually two unexpected outhouses here. And somebody that must have seen my car on the highway followed me in here and so I was just going to go into the outhouse but they just drove back and forth a couple times and I didn't know if they worked here or what they were doing and finally they just took a picture so see, even in the middle of the Yukon, I have no privacy just because I'm driving my car. Time is going by very fast and miles are going by very slowly. I still have no cell reception so I'd like to figure out if I'll ever have it. If I can get to a place that has reception so I can at least send an update. I'm probably gonna figure out where I'm staying so when I get to the city, somewhere that has a place to stay, I don't want to be driving too late at night or otherwise Hoosick and I will just be stuck sleeping in the car. On this road basically nobody leaves anybody stranded. So if you broke down on this road you could flag down a car [Erin] Somebody would stop and help you? Absolutely. [Erin] That car way ahead of me, I pulled over for a second and they was passing me. I waved to them to see if they would stop but it was a woman driving, she looked right at me and didn't stop. There's a tractor trailer coming maybe I'll see if they can give me some help here. Ok so I tried flashing the tractor trailer down and they didn't stop either. Flashed my lights and they didn't stop. I just saw another sign for Contact Creek Lodge and I see it here on my left. Doesn't look like it's open. I'm gonna stop and see. This place has there business hours are from seven AM to nine PM. It's only 9:15 so I just missed it by 15 minutes. I'm sure Sonya is panicking and completely distressed right now. And I have no way of calling her. Just leaving this hotel that is not open and there is a bear walking across the street. Obviously that doesn't make me feel good knowing bears are gonna be coming up to my car. So I don't know what to do. I'm gonna drive to the next place to see if there's a hotel. I just want to pick you up Pick you up and run you off But there all That All that's (unclear) I just woke up it's right before six o'clock in the morning so I got four hours of sleep. From what I heard I have about an 18 hour drive today. I have a little less than three quarters tank in my gas tank, so I'm gonna fill up right here. So like a total idiot I was getting gas and then talking to some people next to me and I drove off and completely forgot the ... I didn't put the gas thing back. I drove off with it still attached to my car, The guy in the white truck behind me told me, I asked him what should I do since I just did that and he said go to the Three Bears grocery store up the street and let them know. I think you're really encouraging people to use a really bad word by using that on your car and you're progay, lesbian, whatever you got to get that off there. Well if they start calling you a fag you'd know you want to know what that means. There's no other definition for fag that I know of then being I guess gay or not being normal. If you know that my weakness is being gay then, which I'm not, but I'm just saying if you did then you know that's my weakness and you keep messing with me I'm finna find out what your weakness is and I'm finna fuck with you! One thing I'm really happy about is the fact that my car hasn't had any mechanical problems. I'm very thankful that the good 'ole fagbug is pushing through and so far, holding up like a champ. If you break down, I don't know how they'd do it, obviously you'll have it fixed somehow. But it's a very difficult situation. I guess if I'm gonna break down, I'll have a pretty view. My wheels really tight right now. It needs to be filled up. It must be out of fluid. I got out and checked the power steering for my car, just to see what's going on with it and I just filled it up less than 20 minutes ago. and I just checked it, it was completely empty. I filled it all the way up to the top so (mumbles) it's been leaking but it's obviously something more severe has happened. The parts of the lines is over $500 so it's something I've been putting off just because they said you can keep filling it up and for the last year or two, that's been working so what a time for something further to develop with that. Trying to turn around, let's see how difficult it is to turnaround with my wheel like this, my steering wheel, It's not going to be easy. We're gonna get there Hoosick, we're gonna get there. Tell me you don't know why You can't fall asleep at night Everything looks just fine But you're in need of a life There's a dog on the side of my car that won't let me go. Every time I try to go he's running in front of my car. He's not letting me leave. I gotta go and I feel like I'm gonna hit him. I'm sorry dog, gotta go. You can't keep up with my car. You're a car, you're a dog. I gotta go, go away. Far away from here and we run Far away from here And we ran far away from here Say that you're out of line Fall a bit short this time Who knows if you're wrong or right But you're in need of a life Oooh Oooh And we ran Far away from here And we ran Far away from here And we ran Far away from here And we ran Ooooh Ooooh Now traffic has stopped in the middle of nowhere. There's a makeshift stop light and I'm guessing there's some kind of construction ahead but I've been sitting here for over five minutes now. We got another truck coming so I hope these dumpsters load and we'll be able to go in a few minutes. About 100 cars have passed me on this trip. There's finally a car ahead of me that's going way slower than I'm driving so first car I'll be passing on this entire trip. Where are we now? [Voiceover] Almost into the border of Alaska. [Erin] Where are you guys coming from? [Voiceover] New Mexico. [Erin] Oh really and you wanted to come over and take a picture of my car, how come? [Both] 'Cause, we're supportive. (mumbles) I made it to the border for Alaska. Finally, we're here. Been something I've been wanting to do for six years. The fact that you've made it to the 50th state is pretty incredible. All 50 states and you went a long way to get to this one. I mean, it is an epic drive to make it. And you know it's well worth the credit that you get for doing it. [Erin] So you think for my 50th state it's, with my car, you think it's a good thing that I did that as a finale kind of thing? Oh, I think you earned your badge. Coming up to Alaska, yeah! [Erin] The car has taught me a lot about myself and my own strengths, my capabilities and people told me my whole life, certain things in my innate nature, that I was crazy or messed up and I've lived a lot of my life questioning myself, unsure of myself and not that confident. This project really made me realize that all those things that I've had all these years weren't weaknesses, they were always strengths and it just makes everything about me that so much crazier, off the kilter, out of the box, it takes all that packs it up in a package and makes it look really good. [Voiceover] The one, the only fagbug right here from the streets of New York. Come on give her some love! Took me 90 hours to get here from Seattle driving nonstop over five days on 15 hours of sleep. (whoots and applause) So I just got here at five in the morning. I told her personally that I think she should just keep on going because frankly, the message it never stalls. What you're doing with driving around with this word on your car is that you're changing the social atmosphere and it'll never be the same again. Well I mean after seeing what you're doing and obviously meeting you and getting to take pictures with your car, I don't ever wanna say fag or somebody's gay, I don't wanna say that again. I went out to my car to get my bags after checking in. Saw there was a note on the car once I started driving away I was heading to the bank and pulled over and got the note, it says, "Thank you so much for what you just did. "You're probably wondering what exactly it is you did. "Being extremely depressed, I was about to go here "and cry my eyes, I would hurt myself. "But instead I saw your car and it made me smile. "That was a little ray of sunshine on my cloudy day. "Thank you" with a heart. When somebody else actually writes you a note and says, I was gonna hurt myself and your car being here basically helped me not do that, I think that's one of the best ones that you can get. [Erin] Do you think I should just keep driving this car forever? Would you want to like give it up at some point? No, I think you should, why not? It get's peoples attention, it certainly got mine. Well, I think there's gonna come a point where the project is done and there's a point in which the work is done and it's time to just say, "Ok, I've done everything I can do and "now it's time to move on to the next thing." And there's something about leaving at the right time. So I hope, that you'll now what that right time is and then all that stuff can come off the car and you can start being Erin the artist, the teacher. I think what really happens with those of us who and I'm including you in that, those of us who feel the activist call, sometimes there's no rest for us because we sometimes feel if we lay that burden down then no one else maybe will take it up. At this point I feel like there's all these weird things like people keep pressuring me to make a decision and I would probably say at this point, if I could just say something like a line to my car and maybe I would just say, I don't wanna let you go. It's really nice to plan some things and things obviously don't go the way you plan but then to actually get to that end point and look back at everything you had to go through to get there and you feel accomplished for getting through all those ups and downs and making it to that place you wanted to get to. You're gay ("PS Gay Car" by Fortress Of Attitude) Your car is gay But most especially Your parking job is gay I don't disapprove Homosexuals Just inconsiderate assholes Who don't think outside of their own Selfish existence Could you imagine John Lennon Two parking spaces Prick PS gay car PS gay car PS gay car, PS gay car, PS gay car Just inconsiderate assholes who don't Think outside of their own Selfish existence could you imagine John Lennon Two parking spaces Prick PS gay car, PS gay car PS gay car, PS gay car PS gay car We got a nice note once he it goes. Dear sir or madam You are well past the edge of the curb And therefore you're blocking the driveway Your consideration in parking between the curbs Would be very appreciated Very appreciated Very appreciated PS gay car PS gay car PS gay car, PS gay car, PS gay car You're gay Your car is gay But most especially Your parking job is gay I don't disapprove Homosexuals Just inconsiderate assholes Who don't think outside of their own Selfish existence Could you imagine John Lennon Two parking spaces PS gay car PS gay car PS gay car, PS gay car, PS gay car PS gay car, PS gay car, PS gay car PS gay car, PS gay car, PS gay car PS gay car, PS gay car, PS gay car PS gay car, PS gay car, PS gay car PS gay car We're in Maui right now on vacation. We're taking a week away from everything nasty that's going on in life and just being with Chuck and the guys here at the Maui Sunseeker. I used to work with Chuck and then he came here fulltime and he's always wanted us to come so Mikey and I took time to be here and we're just having the most wonderful time. Chuck and the staff are spoiling us rotten and it's perfect. We've been fighting for a marriage equality for a long time and it is getting better and it's one of those places that I think more visibility makes things better 'cause people start talking about it. When people don't talk about it, it creates fear. I'll pick you up on my shoulder ("Into the Woods" by Andrew Halliday) And run you off into the woods Into the woods Into the woods |
|