## [Country Rock]
[Man]
# You rev it up #
# Your heartbeat's
dancin to the music #
# Engines bursting fire #
# No wonder you cant sleep #
# Got a feelin today #
# Like it or not #
# All our dreams
explode with a shot #
# We're livin our life on the strip #
# You see, burning out with fast company #
# Oooh, baby #
# Youre a lucky man #
# At 200 miles an hour
drinking up the fumes #
# Youre never more alive #
# When you feel its power #
# Cant stop it #
# Once it starts #
# Fever racin, right through your heart #
# Youre livin your life
in the heat, you see #
# Burning out with fast company #
# It's the only way to come #
# It's the only way to go #
# Blazin us a hot streak in paradise #
# You #
# And me #
# And the quick life #
# Fast company ##
[Engine Idling, Revving]
[P.A. Announcer]
All right, outta sight, go, go, and go!
It is time for the final round
of the funny car eliminators...
at the annual Edmonton
International Speedway-
[Engine Revving]
I tell you what- in the left lane we've got
the nitro-breathin FastCo Firebird...
driven by Billy 'The Kid' Brooker.
This is Billy's second year
as a funny car driver,
but he's young,
he's fast and he's brash.
He'll do everything he can...
to keep up
with the seasoned veterans
of the funny car wars.
In the right lane, number one
in the Pacific Northwest right now,
Gary "The Blacksmith" Black!
They're creeping up on the line.
They're pre-stage.
They're stage.
They're gone!
All right, we've got our winner!
Its Gary Black, and he smokes through
the quarter mile at 218 miles an hour,
and he gets an E.T. of 6.63.
Now, that is smokin, folks!
Billy, better luck next time.
I know youre gonna be back.
Get outta here.
Youre getting a little too much
wheel spin off the line.
Take it easy when you
drop the hammer next time, Billy boy.
I thought I'd get that whole shot
on him, you know.
He's usually geared up pretty high.
Yeah.
- Didnt work out.
- Ah, you did all right anyway.
[Laughing]
Hey, Elder, youre teaching the kid
some of Lonnie Johnsons tricks.
[Laughs]
All that smoke, man.
Whew! pretty.
Just dont win races.
Hey, Gary, give me a few more runs.
All right?
Then you'll be
suckin my pipes.
Oh, yeah. Sure.
Been civil chattin to ya...
meathead.
[Engine Starts]
Go ahead.
[Revving]
[idling]
[Billy] So youre the girl
thats gonna be Miss FastCo, right?
Yeah.
My name's Candy.
[P.A. Announcer, indistinct]
You must be
Lonnie Johnsons mechanic.
No, no, no. Im Billy the Kid.
I drive a funny car.
[Engine Revving]
That fun machine right there.
That one?
Yeah, that's the one.
It's beautiful.
[P.A. Announcer]
Let me guess whether I'm right or not.
Youre waiting for the Lonnie Johnson
double-A top fuel machine.
And listen, the current standing
has Lonnie Johnson...
at number 18,
but I'd say tonight Lonnie Johnson
is number one in your hearts!
What do you say, fans?
[Cheering, Applause]
Hey, man.
How's it goin?
Good, good.
You got a car yet,
or you still riding a bicycle?
[Engines Racing]
[P.A. Announcer]
All right, ladies and gentlemen,
it is time to get serious now...
at Edmonton International Speedway.
It is the first elimination round of these
incredible double-A top fuel machines.
Now in the right lane
I want you to welcome,
driving the Wheeler Dealer car,
that's Terry Koepp down there!
All right!
[Applause, Cheering]
Now in the left lane,
a man-
You'd better watch
that left foot of yours
off the line.
You got a lot more horses back there
than you ever had before.
[P.A. Announcer]
Lucky Man, Lonnie Johnson!
Now, listen,
Lonnie's always a crowd pleaser
and tonight is no exception,
because tonight the Lucky Man fueler
is running for the first time anywhere-
the Lonnie Johnson-designed
quadra-vane blower.
For those of you
who arent mechanically inclined,
I'll just say for now
that the quadra-vane blower is
a brand-new concept in supercharging...
brought to you by
the good people at FastCo.
And it is reputed to increase the power
of the FastCo power plant...
by 16% over its normal
2,000 horsepower.
Now, that is pumpin!
Okay.
Go, Lonnie.
[Engine Starts, idling]
[Engines Idling, Revving Loudly]
[P.A. Announcer]
Oh, my God!
[Gasping, Screaming]
There's been an explosion!
Ladies and gentlemen,
theres been an explosion!
please stay off the track!
We have to have room
for the emergency vehicles
and the fire trucks to get down.
I know youll wanna know whats going on.
We'll let you know as soon as we know.
please stay off the track!
[P. A. Announcer]
And there he goes!
The man is simply unreal!
Man, he just doesnt care!
I was just lucky.
Can you believe it, folks?
Let's go, Lonnie.
That's why they call Lonnie Johnson
the Lucky Man.
I mean, that's a close squeaker
for any normal man,
but for Lonnie Johnson it's all in a days work.
Lets hear it for the Lucky Man,
Lonnie Johnson!
[Cheering, Applause]
Get him back up to that tower
and get him checked out.
[P. A. Announcer]
Lets not forget the staff
here at Speedway too.
Had it not been for their
very fast arrival on the crash scene,
it might have been all over.
But thanks to the Speedway staff,
they make this sport as safe as it is today.
Lets give em a hand!
[Men Arguing, Indistinct]
Jesus.
You wanna get up and catch
this other tire, Kid?
[Man]
Who told you to tack on
that damn blower?
I cant afford to win like that!
I'm on a budget!
I'm holding you responsible
for that crash today.
[Elder]
What?
Who the hell told you
to tack on that damn blower anyway?
Look, if you want to win
you cant stand still.
Win?
I cant afford to win like that.
I'm on a budget.
FastCo aint Gulfand Western.
Now, wait a minute.
You really dont give a damn, do you?
You dont want to win!
Right. I dont!
Not if it's
gonna bust my budget.
Do I have to tell you again?
Winning is too expensive.
Then what the hell
are we in this for?
I'll tell you what we're in it for-
to sell those little
red, white and blue cans of FastCo.
Because if we dont I dont eat,
you dont eat, nobody eats!
You just keep those cars
competitive enough
to stay in the limelight...
so those good folks out there
can see the FastCo trademark.
You got it?
it's show biz.
Yeah, yeah, okay.
I got it, Phil.
Yeah, yeah, I got it!
One of those eardrum-shattering
fuel dragsters made even
more noise than usual last night...
out at Edmonton international Speedway.
Drag racing star
Lonnie "Lucky Man Johnson
lived up to his name...
and walked away
from a spectacular crash.
Things started to go wrong
about halfway down
the quarter-mile strip.
The explosion and fire destroyed
the FastCo top fuel dragster.
An amazing accident,
and even more amazing
that Johnson wasnt hurt.
And now let's check in
with Marsha and the weather.
[Rings]
Hello. Sammy's.
Sam? It's Lonnie.
Lonnie, where are you?
Are you in town?
No, I'm on the road,
on my way to Big Sky.
But, uh, week after that
I'm gonna be in Spokane...
and I thought maybe
we could get together.
What's wrong, Lonnie?
What are you
talking about?
- Somethings wrong. I can hear it.
Are you all right?
- I'm just fine.
I had a minor accident
in the dragster.
What the hell is "minor"?
[Laughs]
Well, she didnt blow up when she landed.
That's not funny.
Are you calling me from the hospital?
No, I am not calling you
from the hospital.
You want me to put Elder
on the intercom?
No. No, no.
I believe you.
How are-
How are things in Seattle?
Business as usual.
it sure would be nice, though,
to see you come walking through my door.
Hey, why dont you?
You dont have a car to drive
for a while.
Oh, I'd love to, babe,
but you know Adamson.
[Chuckles]
Its promotion time and all that.
Oh, hey, babe, I'm sorry.
I gotta get back to work.
Do you promise
youll call me from Big Sky?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'll do that.
Sam, I wanna see you soon.
Take care of yourself.
Okay?
Yeah.
Bye.
Bye.
Hi.
[Car Passing By]
God, Lonnie's amazing.
That crash didnt seem
to faze him a bit.
Shit, boy, I walked away
from 10 times worse.
Did I ever tell you
about the time-
[Loud Bang, Thumping]
What the hell's that?
Shit!
Flat tire on the Chaparral.
- Youre kidding me.
- Oh, Christ!
Guess what I forgot.
What?
Goddamn spare tire.
You forgot the spare tire?
That's it, P.J.
Jesus Christ.
[Sighs]
Hey!
Look at that!
[All Laughing]
Howdy, men.
Hey, Wes.
[Chuckling Continues]
How you doin, son?
- Have a flat?
- No, thanks. We already got one.
[Gary Laughs]
Didnt you hear the joke
about America's greatest racing team?
Forgot to bring their spare tire?
No!
[Laughing]
Dig this!
The hot-shit FastCo outfit
dont even have a spare!
We got one I think they can use.
I dont think they know
how to change it.
Hey, Meatball,
why dont you go behind the truck
and give yourself a valve job?
- Shit-
- Hey, hey, hey!
Hey, hey, Mac, come on!
[Elder]
Come on, ladies. Come on.
Settle down.
Give me that.
Hey, Elder, is, uh, Lonnie
back in the pleasure dome?
Yeah. Hes on the fourth floor
taking a sauna bath
with seven geisha girls.
Right.
Stoner, I think we'd better
help these poor guys out, eh?
Okay.
Give me a call
when youre done.
[Elder]
That's mighty black of ya.
Give me a hand,
will ya?
Count me out.
What do you hear
from the Flintstones?
## [Stereo: Country]
I gotta get Pacemaker
to make me up a rig like this.
Aw, you wouldnt like it.
Youre too used to vans.
Youd never be able
to handle it.
Yeah, maybe.
That was a hell of a crash
you took there at the Speedway, man.
Youre still lucky.
I walked away from it,
didnt I?
Yeah.
You must have got shaken up, man.
Playing with toy cars.
[Scoffs]
I saw the crash on TV.
it looked great.
How come you always know
where the camera is?
its just part of the game, Black.
## [Clicks On, Off]
Yeah, well, I wish you were
running funny cars, man,
'cause I'd get my picture in the paper
if I beat Mr. Big-time.
You know something, Gary?
I think you got your hands full with the Kid.
Brooker?
Come on, get serious.
He's a punk.
No, he's not.
He's good, and he's coming up fast,
and he could be number one.
I can tell.
Oh, yeah?
And what do you think
about Gary Black?
Come on.
Gary Black.
[Sighs]
Well, I think
he's doing all right.
But you think that, uh,
this is as far as I can go,
dont you?
I didnt say that.
You said that.
You didnt have to say it, man.
See ya, Lonnie.
## [Continues]
[Laughing]
Well, I think that's as good
as it's gonna get, Wes.
Yeah. Thanks a lot, Stoner.
Ah, they're ready to roll.
Take it off.
What? What the hell
are you talking about?
You heard me.
Let his goddamn oil company
find him a spare.
Aw, shit, Wes.
Sorry, man.
Aw, that's okay, Stoner.
We'll manage.
Wonder what the hell
went on in there.
[Radio: Controller, indistinct]
I have a vision
of Miss FastCo in leather.
Western flavor-
Boots, buckskin.
You'd look great.
You'll sell a lot of cans of FastCo.
I dont really know
what I'm supposed to do, Phil.
Just stand around
and look gorgeous.
[Candy]
Hey, is that the guys down there?
Hey, let's go down and buzz em.
Want me to lose my license?
That's illegal.
Besides,
we dont wanna rub it in.
What do you mean?
They crawl, we fly.
Course, that's the way
it's supposed to be,
but sometimes the hired help
dont like to be reminded.
Yeah? What about me?
Oh, I think
you might be special.
You know,
there's a nice motel in Helena.
it's got a heated pool, sauna,
the works.
Great.
Just make sure you book two rooms.
[Radio: Controller]
Victor-8-Foxtrot-Victor,
we check you over Scott Bridge
at 4y000, leaving south.
## [Country Rock]
[Man]
# Rev it up #
# Your heartbeat's
dancin to the music #
# Engines bursting fire #
# No wonder you cant sleep #
# Drivin quarter-miles #
# Let it all rip #
# And blow the suckers
right off of the strip #
# Were livin our life
in the heat, you see #
# Burning out with fast company #
## [Continues]
# Ooh, the fever's racin #
# Racing right through your heart ##
[Engine Revving]
[P. A. Announcer]
Okay, you too can be a drag racer!
Rocket racing is handicap racing,
and that means that your wheels can compete.
So dont just watch.
Get in on the action
and run what ya brung!
Where'd you get that from?
[P.A. Announcer]
Right now I'm asking you
to remember...
that tonight, right after
the final top eliminator round,
for those of you who dig boogeyin
and boppin and finger-poppin,
theres gonna be dancing
right out there on the track to the music
of the Big Sky Full Tilt Boogie Band!
Now approaching the Christmas tree
we have a Pontiac G.T.O.
looking hot and dirty in the right lane.
And in the left lane we got a mild Mopar
lookin cool and clean.
- [Engines Revving]
- There go the lights! There goes the G.T.O.!
[P. A. Announcer]
Uh-oh.
Well, folks, you cant win em all.
Its been a bad day
for Mopars all around.
Lets have a hand
for our friend in the Plymouth.
Remember, fans,
that could happen to you.
Better luck next time!
All right, it's the Big Sky drag race!
Fabulous, fantastic and terrific!
Dont go away, fans,
'cause there's lots more comin right at ya!
Mr. Slezak.
Nice turnout you got here today.
So-so.
I expected to see you
flying in this morning.
I landed at the municipal airport.
I got some business in town, so I drove in.
Lady at the gate
tried to get me to pay.
Sorry.
if I'd known you were comin,
I would've told her.
No, no, that's okay.
Make em pay.
Speaking of paying-
Jesus, Phil, youre killin me
with this routine.
This routine
isnt killing you.
Come on, hurry up, hurry up.
I got people waiting on me
to tell em what to do.
You know, I bet FastCo
wouldnt be too happy
to find out...
its own track rep
was on the take.
Youre gonna tell em?
I aint tellin nobody nothin.
I was just supposin.
Slezak, look at this
as an agent's commission.
it'll make you feel better.
The FastCo team and Lonnie Johnson
sell tickets at this mosquito patch.
if you dont want us to come-
I was only talkin, Phil.
I wont rock the boat.
Good.
'Cause if you rock the boat and it tips over,
you'll be the first one to drown.
Take care.
[Lonnie]
Lets try 70. Cant hurt none.
[Man Laughs]
Lonnie.
Hi, Glen.
Phil.
I got a photographer waiting for you
in that shack they call the timing tower.
So get something on that says "FastCo."
Be nice to him. Hes syndicated. Okay?
Okay, Phil.
Look, Glen, I wasnt kidding
about that quadra-vane.
You want it, you stick it on there,
it's yours.
Thanks, man.
Phil.
Man just dont know
his own strength.
Yeah, he's a good boy,
Lonnie.
[Radio: Country]
# I'm a man, not a child #
# I'm an outlaw #
## [Continues]
That guy
really burns my ass.
Hey, Gary, check this out.
Its that asshole
Johnson.
[Grunts]
Well, you gotta take your rides
where you can get em.
Gets em too easy.
Guy's a joke, man.
Yeah, but he sure does know
some nice-lookin women, dont he?
Well, he does.
All right, all right!
Its summer! it's drag racin!
it's the Big Sky drag race!
And youre watching the very last
of our single qualifying funny car runs!
[Engine idling]
[Engine Off]
[Billy Exhales]
[Engine idling]
[Engine Off]
Hi.
Hi, Billy.
Miss FastCo, huh?
How do I look?
it's terrific.
I looked for you this morning
when we got in.
Oh, yeah. Uh, my outfit
wasnt ready until lunchtime.
And then Phil had me come over in a cab
and pose for pictures with Lonnie and stuff.
It was real tight.
So you and Adamson
getting along okay, are ya?
Yeah, we get along okay.
He's pretty smooth.
Oh, yeah.
Well, listen, I gotta-
You'll be around, huh?
Uh, yeah.
I'm sorry I missed your race.
That's okay.
it was only a qualifier.
Great. Can I watch you fix your car
till Phil needs me again?
Well, youre Miss FastCo,
arent you?
Sure am.
Yeah, P.J.?
Yeah.
Why dont we just step
into my office here and talk.
Sounds serious.
Just a little business.
That's serious.
What's on your mind, Phil?
I got a problem,
and youre the only one
that can help me.
Well, sure. What is it?
I dont normally bug you
with my problems.
Youre supposed to drive,
I'm supposed to take care of business.
That's the way it's supposed to be.
But I think I should let you know
that the boys from the front office
in Kansas City...
are putting on an awful lot of pressure
to drop the fuel dragster completely.
Now, that's my problem.
And I'm gonna go
to the wall for you, Lonnie.
Youre gonna get that car. Believe me.
Great. Hey, look, Phil-
Look, I know youll go to bat for me.
Damn right.
Let's talk about today.
I cant let the Kid drive.
it's gotta be you.
[Laughing]
What, me in a funny car?
Hey, Phil, look, I drive fuelers.
it's what I'm known for. it's what I do best.
Lonnie, we dont have a fueler.
I'm not blaming you
for what happened.
Its just that those fans out there
came to see Lonnie Johnson drive,
not the Kid.
We owe em that.
Phil, are you asking me
to take that kid's ride from him?
Just for a couple of meets.
Jim Cain at Redline says that
in three or four meets the carll be ready.
I mean, the Kid's
gotta pay his dues too.
The bottom line is
that he's not Lonnie Johnson.
There's nothing I can do about that.
[Exhales]
Oh, boy.
That is gonna hurt.
Hey, Phil, look, hes just starting to fly, man.
You know that.
I'll tell you what.
Why dont you talk to him.
Youre both drivers. He respects you-
Respects you? He idolizes you.
I mean, if I talked to him
it wouldnt be the same thing.
[Sighs]
Two meets.
[idling]
is that the gasoline?
Well, no. They call these fuel cars
'cause they run on nitro-methane fuel.
Oh.
You want a sip?
No.
[Laughs]
No, it's not all nitro.
Its about, uh... 80%.
Or should be.
About 20% alcohol.
We try and mix it
just before we race so it doesnt
go sour on us before we start.
Yeah, that'll be okay.
Every drivers got his own
special- special mixture...
and, uh, likes to do it himself.
Except for the big-time drivers
like Lonnie.
Hmm.
What does he do?
Oh, he lets Elder do it.
Guess they must really
trust each other, huh?
Yeah, I guess.
Hi, kids.
Hi, Lonnie.
Billy?
Yeah?
I gotta talk to you alone.
Right now?
Yeah, now.
[Engine Revving]
She's, uh-
She's kinda cute, isnt she?
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
You, uh- You like her?
Yeah, I kinda do.
She's different.
You didnt get me up here
to ask about Miss FastCo, did ya?
[inhales]
Uh, no.
[Exhales]
Hey, uh, how about a beer?
Oh, no, thanks.
I got some adj-
Billy, have a beer.
Okay.
Good.
I just, um-
just got done talking
to Adamson.
Yeah?
Yeah. We got ourselves
a little problem.
What?
Uh, youre gonna be walking
for a while.
Pardon?
I said youre gonna
be walking for a while.
What do you mean?
I'm gonna drive the funny.
You dont drive floppers.
Yeah, I do today.
Its my car!
Billy, its just gonna be for a couple of rides
till I get the fueler back.
Bullshit!
Come on, Billy.
Come on, Lonnie!
You used to be a real racer.
And you used to be good.
I used to read about you
when I was 12 years old, man.
What do you wanna be,
a movie star?
You wanna get your picture
in the papers?
You wanna sign autographs?
You wanna wave to the crowd?
You wanna get laid? Well, you got it.
Billy-
Jesus Christ!
I'm sorry, Kid.
Youre walking.
I'll have your, uh-
I'll have your clutch adjusted
in about 20 minutes.
Got about half an hour.
[Door Opens, Closes]
Final round.
Gary Black is ready.
FastCo funny car
to staging, please.
[P. A: Slezak]
Five minutes till the final round
of the funny car eliminator.
And how 'bout it, race fans?
it looks like we got a first here.
Yes, yes, it looks like
Lonnie Lucky Many Johnson himself...
is gonna drive
the FastCo Firebird funny car.
To my knowledge, this is Lonnies
first time ever in a double-A funny car.
What a place to start!
Lonnie will be squaring off against
someone all funny car enthusiasts know-
one of the toughest competitors
in the Pacific Northwest,
Gary The Blacksmith Black.
So dont go away, folks!
This just has to be
a ground-pounding track burner!
Remember, its all happening here
at Big Sky Dragways here in Montana,
the Big Sky state!
[Engine idling, Revving]
Bastards tried to burn him down.
Yeah, that engine
got pretty damn hot.
Sounds good anyway.
It'll be all right. Dont worry about it.
[Engine Starts]
Come on, Billy.
Get the lead out!
[Engines Off]
[P. A: Slezak]
Speeding with a flaming 221 miles an hour
through those tracks! What a bitchin run!
[P. A:
Slezak Continues, Indistinct]
Whoo!
Not bad for a beginner,
boss man.
- Well, how's it feel, Lon?
- Lumpy and squirrelly.
Billy, how do you see
outta this thing?
[P.J.]
We can give you a bigger sunroof
if you want.
All right, what's with
the last-minute driver switch?
I thought I'd try something
slow and casual for a change.
Ahh. You think I'm racing
for trophies, man?
I dont like losing funny car points
to a fueler pilot.
is that why you tried
to burn me down?
Yeah, thats right.
I take it whatever way I can get it.
I have to.
I dont have oil barons
paying my way.
Yeah, and you never will have
if you keep running that slow.
It just aint fair.
Huh?
It just aint fair.
You dont tear a car
out from under a guy like that.
Damn right!
[Elder]
Shh.
I mean, I do all the work.
I run all the qualifiers.
Then, bang! I'm out, hes in,
and he gets all the goddamn glory.
Aw, look, Billy,
Were all in this together.
Oh, listen-
it's a team effort.
Only thing you gotta remember is,
it's Lonnie's team.
Damn right!
You be quiet.
I can get another ride, you know.
Wouldnt be no problem for me.
Just like that. No problem.
You could.
Maybe you oughta.
I told you, be quiet!
You lookee here, Billy.
Lonnie's a pioneer.
You know what that means?
Yeah. Yeah.
Hmm?
That means that he was driving
while they was still running on gas.
There wasnt no fuelers and funnies
in those days.
You could do
a hell of a lot worse, you know.
After all, you are running
with the Lucky Man.
[Sighs]
Yeah, I guess youre right.
I dont know. I'm just pissed off.
Mmm.
I still say I could have
beaten that Blacksmith.
I think you could have too.
Damn right.
Hey, P.J., look at this.
Hot damn!
Let's pick em up!
[Chuckling]
Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Semi's behind us. Give im room.
[Clears Throat]
[Honks]
[P.J. Chuckling]
Jesus Christ!
What are you waitin for?
Get the doors open.
[Laughs]
All right! Here they come!
Dont like yours much.
Howdy.
[Billy]
You know, love can be
a wonderful thing...
when you got two people meeting.
Or three people.
[Chuckling]
You know something?
I fell in love three times today.
Come on, Billy!
No, really.
Three times?
There's only two of us.
Who's the other girl?
You know something, gang?
There's a lot of junk
you can put down your pipes.
You know what I mean?
Now, I'm talking about the good stuff.
You gotta take care
of your baby's engine.
So I suggest you go like the pros
and go with FastCo...
if you want that power,
that performance and that protection.
Yeah?
FastCo.
This is what
all the pro racers use.
FastCo motor treatment.
[Laughing]
All right!
Ew!
[Giggles]
My boyfriend will kill me.
He hates FastCo.
Oh, yeah?
[Billy]
Whatd you say your name was?
[Woman]
We have your call to Redline, sir.
Good. Uh, go ahead, please.
[phone Ringing]
Redline. Jim speaking.
Jimmy?
Lonnie Johnson.
How you doin?
Lonnie!
Hey, just fine, man. Bitchin.
Where are you?
Oh, I dont know. I'm on the road somewhere,
on my way to Spokane.
Hey, I hear youre driving the flopper.
What's the world coming to?
[Laughs]
Well, its only temporary,
just till you guys
get me on the road again.
Uh, that's what I called about, Jim.
Look, I figured out
what's the matter with that blower.
The damn thing is just too powerful
and it generates too much torque.
it started flexing the frame.
So all we gotta do
is triangulate the chassis,
take the stress off,
and we are home free.
So FastCo's gonna let me
go ahead with the dragster?
What do you mean?
Well, you know.
They canceled the order
a couple days after we talked.
Uh, Jimmy, who canceled?
Adamson.
I didnt even get the estimate done.
Well, didnt they tell you?
[Engine idling, Revving]
Wow!
That's absolutely incredible!
Ladies and gentlemen,
thats Lonnie Johnsons
FastCo funny car back there.
And this is Lonnie Johnson
in person!
Theyll be down at Spokane Raceway
this Saturday and Sunday,
along with an international roster
of cars and drivers.
it's all part of the exciting
and fast-growing sport of drag racing,
and Lonnie Johnson here
is one of the veterans.
Hi, Lonnie!
Uh, nice to be here, Chuck.
Lonnie, I've heard that this
FastCo funny car of yours does
over 200 miles an hour. is that correct?
Well, itd better,
or I'm gonna lose.
[Laughing]
And who is this lady standing beside us
here this afternoon?
That's Candy Allison, Miss FastCo.
Well, good afternoon, Candy Allison,
and welcome to Spokane.
Thanks, Chuck.
I just wanna say
how happy I am to be here.
And here's a FastCo decal
for your car!
Well, thank you very kindly.
And I'm sure well be seeing you
down at Spokane Raceway this weekend.
You sure will, Chuck.
And I hope all you nice people
will be there too.
And remember,
use FastCo motor treatment
for trouble-free motoring.
Well, how about that, Lonnie?
You guys get paid to say that, dont you?
How about that product?
is it really as good as you say?
Do you really use it?
Oh, yeah, Chuck.
I use it all the time.
it's the best product I know
to keep my toilet unclogged and free-runnin.
[Laughing]
Well, thats Lonnie Johnson for you,
ladies and gentlemen.
A great kidder
as well as a great driver.
And speaking of driving
just for a minute more here, Lonnie,
I've heard in drag racing circles
that some people say Lonnie Johnson
is a bit more of a showman...
than a serious driver.
Now, how would you reply
to a statement like that, Lonnie?
Uh, just like this, Chuck.
And, uh, and remember, folksy
every morning a tall, cool glass of FastCo...
is gonna keep you regular and raunchy
till way after sundown.
Y'all keep smilin.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Lonnie Johnson along with Candy Allison.
They'll be down at the Spokane Raceway
this Saturday and Sunday.
Another segment
Of Channel 5's sport profile!
He's been pretty tractable up to now.
Whats gone wrong?
Between you and me?
His career is over,
and he cant handle it.
He drinks, he crashes,
he alienates other members of the team,
he refuses to drive the funny car.
Blair, weve gotta go
with another driver.
I was thinking of Gary Black.
Do you know him?
Number one
in the Pacific Northwest.
With FastCo behind him
we could have a championship.
Okay, Phil. The burden of proof
that we've gotta make this move
will be on your shoulders.
That's where I like it, Blair.
Good.
I'll be seeing you soon.
Take care, Blair.
Are we still going out
with Chuck Randall?
No, youre going out
with Chuck Randall.
I'm, um, taking care
of some paperwork.
I'm not going out
with Chuck Randall by myself.
Why not? He likes you.
He told me so.
I dont want to.
Look,
I want Randall
to redo that interview.
I want you
to soften him up.
"Soften him up."
That's what I said.
Its public relations.
Those arent the kind
that worry me, Phil.
Its your job.
Screwing Chuck Randall
is not part of my job.
- It is if you want to keep it.
- Then I dont want to keep it.
Then youre fired.
Then I'm fired.
Hey, Phil,
what's happening?
Gary.
How you feel about
the meet this weekend?
You think you can take it?
[Chuckles]
Well, I'll tell you, Phil.
I know I can take it.
Damn right.
That just goes to show you
you can win and still be a loser.
Screw you, Phil.
it's true.
I put some of that shit of yours in my car,
and it hasnt run right since.
[Laughing]
Serves you right.
You should know better.
You mind?
Yeah, I mind.
I just wanna talk to your boss
for a few minutes alone.
Cool it, Stoner.
All right, Phil,
what the hell do you want?
FastCo is interested in your future.
Yeah. What about Johnson?
Well, were a big company.
We have lots of interests.
Johnsons one.
But he's getting old...
and cranky.
We're always looking
for new winners.
Right now we're looking
for a funny car winner.
[Chuckles]
Man, I think I would kill
for that semi.
That's good to hear, Gary,
but you dont have to.
All you have to do is sign a long-term
contract with FastCo, and it's yours.
We'll even repaint it
for you in your colors
in time for the meet this weekend.
Youre serious about
dumping Johnson?
it's up to you.
Hey, Lonnie.
I'd say he's not here.
And if he's not here,
I dont know where he is.
Oh, God.
[Chuckles]
I think I drunk too much.
I think you did.
I guess youre leaving, huh?
What, are you trying
to get rid of me?
Well, you said you quit.
You aint got no job.
Yeah, I did say that.
You wanna- You wanna
wait with me for Lonnie?
it could take all night.
I like it
when it takes all night.
What?
You know what I mean?
I think I do.
I think you do.
## [Country Rock]
# Hey there, lady #
# Workin so hard #
# Your 9 to 5 keeps you uninspired #
# So get in my car
and I'll treat you right #
# We'll get some inspiration
from the night #
# And go rockin #
# In the moonlight #
# We'll go rollin #
# Until daylight #
# We'll go rockin #
# in the moon #
# Light ##
I'm so glad
you decided to invite me up.
What the hell is going on?
Billy!
Lonnie!
Oh, Billy!
I didnt know
you were comin.
Oh! Here I thought
I'd interrupted something.
No, no.
Oh!
I came by looking for Lonnie
last night, and he wasnt here.
And, uh, we just
kind of fell into bed.
[Laughing]
Yeah.
Oh, uh, this is Candy.
Hi.
Hi.
Sammy.
No comment.
Lonnie!
Oh! Oh, babe!
it took you long enough
to get here, didnt it?
[Billy] Oh, Lonnie, listen.
You got heavy problems.
Candy overheard a conversation
with Adamson in Kansas City
about dropping the team.
We'll- Why dont we
worry about that later, huh?
No, I think we should
worry about it now.
Billy!
All right.
Look, Lonnie-
You out.
All right.
You in.
[Squeals]
[Laughing]
[P.A. Announcer] Good morning,
and welcome to Spokane Raceway
here in Spokane, Washington.
We're all set today
with a full slate of racing,
including those fantastic
space-heating machines,
the super-charged,
nitro-burning funny car.
Look for Gary ' The Blacksmith" Black,
known throughout the Pacific Northwest,
in the hot Pacemaker Vega...
to be running Lonnie Lucky Man Johnson
in the funny car eliminator.
Okay, racers,
lets get those cars out of the pits.
We need Pro Eliminator
to lane number one,
Heavy Eliminator
to lane number two.
You know, its criminal to keep
a lover like you on the road for so long.
Well, maybe your troubles are over.
Shh. I dont need that.
I'm a big girl now, Lonnie.
Hey, I knew what I was getting into.
Maybe just not for how long.
No. I mean it, babe. I-
I really think I wanna quit.
You know, if it's really
that important to em-
Adamson and Gary Black and the Kid-
well, let em have it.
Cause what do I need it for?
You know, I used to drag
on the river road for- for Coca-Colas,
and I thought
I never wanted to quit.
Hey.
If all it took to get you to come home
was a little good lovin...
why didnt you call me
a hell of a lot sooner?
Maybe I shouldve.
[Engines Revving]
[Revving Continues]
Lonnie, I wanna talk to you.
Privately.
This is the second time in two weeks
you walk in here without knocking.
This is where I live.
it's my home.
Yeah? Maybe it is, and maybe it isnt.
That's what I came to talk to you about.
- Yeah, well, I would like to talk to you first.
- I'm not interested.
I wanna talk to you
about hurting people.
You know, youre out
of your goddamn mind, Johnson.
Youre out of your mind,
and youre over the hill.
First you turn my trailer
into a goddamn whorehouse.
Now it's an insane asylum.
Oh, baby, youre finished.
You got it?
Finished.
Adamson, take a look around you.
There's all of us,
and then there's you.
Now, we're gonna run that car,
and you aint gonna stop us.
Youre all finished.
Gee.
Lonnie mustve done something
to get him mad.
Meatball, uh, I'd like
to talk to you for a minute.
Hey, Meaty you aint
going no place till youre
finished with that oil pan.
I'm done, Stoner.
Got a little job for you.
[Announcer]
All right, now, we're all set to go
with the funny car action.
Gary Black is suiting up
in the spectator lane,
while over on the tower side,
it's the Lucky Man, Lonnie Johnson.
Okay, the drivers
are getting in their cars.
The pit crew's making
last-minute adjustments...
to these incredibly
powerful machines.
The starters are hooked on.
The drivers are buckled in, secured.
They get tossed around
pretty good out there.
Tough, tough job. Tough.
[Revving]
Look for Gary 'The Blacksmith' Black
in the spectator lane,
running Lonnie ' Lucky Many' Johnson
in the funny car eliminator.
[Crowd Screaming]
[Announcer]
Oh! Lonnie Johnson goes
through the trap!
Let's go! Let's go!
But he punches his fire buttons
and knocks the flame down.
He's all right. His onboard fire extinguishers
have done their job, and the fire is out.
Lonnie Johnson is perfectly okay.
He's all right.
He even managed
a respectable E.T. of 7.26...
at 164 miles an hour.
Not bad for a man
fighting a fire in his seat.
But not good enough
to beat Gary Black,
who has avenged his loss to the Lucky Man
at Big Sky last week...
taking this one with an E.T. of6.62.
Lonnie, you okay?
Yeah, I'm fine.
That engine blow up on you?
I dont know.
She was strong
until I shut it down.
Somebody got to us, right?
What's he
talking about, Lonnie?
I dont know.
Hey, what happened to Johnson?
- He caught fire.
- Lets go check it out, man.
- Ah, let him fry.
- Hey, man, cool it.
Geez, Meat.
Aw, shit.
Lift it up.
Hey, what the hell happened?
That's beautiful.
We got stiffed.
That's what happened.
- You watch your ass, you little suck.
- Back off Meatball.
Hey.
Gary.
Hey, Johnson, I dont have
to kill you to beat you.
[Sighs]
I know you dont.
- Lets get it back to the pit, P.J.
- [Billy] You dont buy that shit, do you?
[Lonnie]
Come on, Kid.
Goddamn valve cover
gasket's missing, Lon.
Okay, load her up.
Youre fired.
Hey, what the hell are you doing,
you son of a-
- Ah!
- Lon.
What are you waiting for?
[Groaning]
Come on, big man.
Come on now.
[Billy]
How you doing, Lonnie?
Hey, Elder thinks he can get me a job
with Domestic Auto parts.
Oh, no, Billy.
Ah, it's all right.
The money's decent.
Besides, I think I can drive
locally on the weekends.
Some guy's got double-Bys here.
Wouldnt you rather go racing with me
at Edmonton next week?
Shit, yeah.
But we aint got no car.
We got a car. Its just been stolen.
All we have to do is find it.
## [Country Rock]
# Youre a lucky man #
# At 200 miles an hour
drinking up the fumes #
# Youre never more alive #
# When you feel its power #
# You better have it today #
# 'Cause the going gets hot #
# Racin both the man
and the clock #
# Youre livin your life on fire, you see #
# Burnin out with fast company #
# Whoo, take me #
# It's the only way to come #
# It's the only way to go #
# Blazin us a hot streak
in paradise #
# For you #
# And for me #
# It's the quick life #
# Fast company ##
The competitions tough out there.
Cars are all good. Drivers are all good.
You need an edge, something
that will put you over the top.
Now, I got the best
power plant on the circuit.
And with the kind of performance
that FastCo gives me,
nobody can touch me.
[No Audible Dialogue]
We won
the Funny Car Nationals on Sunday
with this machine here.
Yeah, we're staying
at the Sandman inn, Room 237.
I dont know why Lonnie
wanted us to come down here for.
We should be out
looking for the car.
Look, somebody knows where that car is,
and that somebody's gonna be here for sure.
Shit, look at this. Come here.
Can you believe this? it's right here.
Hi, fellas.
Hey, Meatball.
Looking pretty cute, huh?
[Laughing]
Dont worry.
Dont worry.
Well, I wish there was something
I could do to help, Lonnie.
There is.
You can get me another beer.
- We found our funny car.
- What? Where?
Adamsons got it
on display at the car show,
right out in the open.
- is it hurt? They butcher it?
- No, it looks fine.
I'll tell you what.
He's got more balls than brains.
[Billy] No shit.
Make us sick to see it.
it's all roped off and propped up.
Well...
let's go get her.
Go get her? What are you gonna do,
walk in there and stuff it in your pocket?
it's a car, isnt it?
I'm gonna drive
that sucker out.
[Radio: Dispatcher]
Eighteen, this is Central. Check in.
[Radio: Dispatcher Continues,
indistinct]
Did he see us?
- Yeah. Hes coming over.
- Okay, come on.
[Engine Revving]
- Okay, hit it.
- [Engine Revving]
[Tires Squealing]
## [Radio: Heavy Metal]
[Engine Idling]
Okay, let's lift it.
Get it up.
Up you go, Lon.
That's it.
Hey, guys.
Terrific.
Food!
# Sparks ignite on #
# Darkness Street #
# The angels #
# Hold their breath #
# Black satin folds all #
# Disappear#
# We fall without #
# A net #
# And it was summertime #
# We understand no one #
# But with all the money #
# That I could get #
# At the crossroads #
# in a timed-out fuel race #
# I tug on the rich boy's wrist #
# Everybody said #
# He may be crazy #
# But what happened I cannot tell #
# For a little strip of heaven #
# You got to rumble #
# The streets #
# Of hell #
# Racing the night away #
#Just racing the night away #
# Oh, yeah #
# Racing the night away #
#Just racing the night away #
# Racing the night away #
# I'm here to tell you
we were kids #
#Just under the spell #
# My spell #
# And play with my headlights
the black, total nights #
# We're only a race away #
# We're always a race away ##
Do you, um- Do you ever think about
when we was on the road together?
Yeah. I think about it.
Did you ever, um-
Did you ever think
about doing it again?
No.
No, I didnt, Lonnie.
How about you?
You wanna spend the next
10 years of your life on the circuit?
Well, only when I'm driving,
But, uh,
you know, I got
my people to take care of.
[Chuckles]
Yeah, I know all about that.
Hey. Youre gonna build
a new fueler?
Yeah. You bet.
Where are you
gonna get the money?
Hey, look, I wasnt too bad
at hustling rides before FastCo.
I'm not ashamed
to do it again.
Just so long as it's my own ride...
and my own way.
Well, if you ever do decide
to set up a shop,
something like
Lonnie Johnson Racing Engines-
[Laughs]
Hey, Seattle's not a bad spot.
My neighborhood aint exactly
in a bad part of town.
[Laughing]
Sam, if I ever do.
If I ever do.
[Announcer] All right, this is it,
the one youve been waiting for.
The FastCo Funny Car
Challenge of the Champions.
Let's take a look,
see who we got down there now.
Hey, it's gonna be a scorcher.
We've got the brand-new
FastCo Vega funny car...
driven by one of the funny car warriors
of a way back.
I'm talking
about Gary "The Blacksmith" Black.
We've got him here right today
with us now.
As a matter of fact,
we've even got a man here today
that nobody expected to see.
Its a man that everybody knows...
even though he's one of the newest
funny car pilots on the circuit today,
a man whose entry crossed my desk
just a few hours ago.
You know who I'm talking about.
The Lucky Man is here.
Lonnie Johnson will be here.
He'll be driving
the ex-FastCo double-A fuel funny car
as an independent today...
for the very first time,
[Crowd applauding]
I knew you'd like that one.
[Announcer] Now this is
a very interesting development.
As a matter of fact, I'd feel safe in calling
this a grudge match for top eliminator
in the next and final round
of funny car flying.
It's gonna be Gary Black
versus Lonnie "Lucky Man" Johnson.
Elder.
Huh?
We're still a tenth of a second
off our best time with that quadra-valve.
Yeah, I know that, Lonnie.
What are we doing about it?
What's the read, Billy boy?
Hold on a second.
Eighty-two.
Bump it up to 88 or 89
and throw in a label.
Think you can
handle that, big man?
I dont know.
Why dont you ask the Kid?
He's driving.
- You still got a fire sunt?
- Oh, yeah. Sure.
Yeah sure.
You heard the man.
Well?
[Crowd Cheering]
I had a feeling.
Got it covered, man.
I'm gonna put him on the trailer
in front of 20,000 people.
I want
that son of a bitch.
No.
You dont want a fuss
in front of the cameras.
[Engines revving]
Dont sweat it, Phil.
Johnsons gonna be staring at my wheelie bars
all the way down the stripe.
Semi-final time was.3
better than yours, Gary.
Yeah, well,
I didnt have it dialed in yet.
I'll tell you, I'm gonna blow
his doors right off, man.
Meatball, what do you got?
Got something real nice
for you, Mr. Adamson.
I'm working on it.
All you got to do is make sure
Gary is in the left lane and he cant lose.
- What's that gonna accomplish?
- Dont worry about it.
It's got real class.
Just leave it to Meatball.
[Gary] What the hell
are you talking about?
I dont know what's going on here, man,
but I dont like it.
You just drive, Gary,
That's what youre good at.
[Announcer] All right, teens,
queens, guys and bluejeans,
Are you ready? This is it!
The one you've been waiting for.
The final two nitro fifties are paired off.
And we're ready
for the final round.
of the FastCo Funny Car
Challenge of the Champions.
Let's see who we've got down
at the starting line.
It is going to be a scorcher.
We've got the new FastCo Vega Funny car
driven by Gary "The Blacksmith" Black,
going up against the former
FastCo Firebird funny car.
Hi, Gary.
Howdy.
How are we doing?
Real good.
Who's gonna call it?
I guess that's us.
Call it.
Heads.
Heads.
It's heads: Your choice.
All right.
- Left lane.
- Good luck, guys.
Uh, we seem to have
an apparent malfunction
of our time equipment
up here in the tower.
There seems to be a little confusion
down there on the track
as to which cars got which lanes.
Billy. Right lane.
What are you
talking about?
What are you talking about?
What's this?
Hey, man, we screwed up.
There wasnt supposed
to be a toss.
FastCo rules are the slow car
gets the lane choice.
No way, man! No way!
You cant do this!
What are you trying-
All right, all right, all right.
Okay, okay.
Come on,
I got you, come on.
You get in there and you drive.
Billy!
And a last-minute lane switch like this
could make the drivers a little uneasy.
But I think they've
got it all sorted out.
I think they're ready to go.
All right, get this, Billy Brooker
will be running in the tower lane,
and Gary "The Blacksmith" Black
will be in the left lane.
Where the hell's Meatball?
Forget about it.
Forget about it?
Yeah.
God.
Ah, ah-
All right, they seem
to be ready to go.
Engines are fired up.
The fiberglass bodies
are lowered over the drivers.
[Engines Revving]
Woh-whee! Did you see
that side-by-side flame burnout?
After all, that's what
it's all about. Right, men?
[No Audible Dialogue]
Billy!
[Crowd Screaming]
Just hang on!
Everybody, stay where you are.
Please do not move.
Do not go out on the track.
We have to get our fire truck there
and the emergency vehicles.
Please remain in your seats.
Do not move!
[Fire Roaring]
[Screaming]
[Sirens Blaring]
Oh, Billy.
[Announcer]
Please stay off the track,
ladies and gentlemen.
There's nothing you can do on the track.
You must go back to your seats.
Let the firemen
control the situation.
Go back.
There's nothing you can do.
Everything is all right.
But it hasnt passed yet.
Therefore, you must go back
to your seats.
Please, ladies and gentlemen,
stay off the track.
You must go back to your seats.
Fire it up, Elder! Fire it up!
- Come on, Elder.
- All right.
[Engine Starts]
Get it down.
Come on.
[Crowd Murmuring]
Lonnie!
[Sirens Blaring]
What are you gonna do?
I guess we got a week or two off.
I guess we do.
I guess we do.
What you gonna do now, big man?
Well, me and the old lady are
gonna spend some time together.
Gonna hang up the goggles?
Finally got him to quit, did you?
Yeah. For at least a whole week.
Hi, Elder.
Hey, Billy boy.
Can you drop us by the bus depot?
We got to catch a bus to Frisco.
Hey, P.J.,
you wanna come along?
Apparently, her girlfriend's
really into hot cars...
and digs tall mechanics
with big wrenches, man.
Oh, yeah?
Well, maybe I could go-
Uh, no. Uh, Elder and me
are going down to Redline in Tacoma.
We got to start working on the new frame jigs
for a couple of quadra-vane-powered cars.
Yeah, Lonnie's gonna bring a big bag
full of money from Seattle, we hope.
So if you want that skinny ass of yours
to fit into that new funny car we're building,
you better be there.
I'll be there.
Right.
- Might as well hit the road.
- Let's do it.
See you at Redline. huh?
Yeah.
Good luck.
You drive safely.
We will.
Take care of yourself.
Get the engine going.
Let's go.