I used to think a wedding
was a simple affair.
Boy and girl meet.
They fall in love. He buys a ring.
She buys a dress.
They say, "l do."
I was wrong.
That's getting married.
A wedding is an entirely
different proposition.
I know.
I've just been through one.
Not my own,
my daughter's--
Annie Banks-MacKenzie.
That's her married name--
MacKenzie.
I'll be honest with you.
When I bought this house 17 years ago,
it cost less than this blessed event...
in which Annie Banks
became Annie Banks-MacKenzie.
I'm told that one day
I'll look back on all this...
with great affection
and nostalgia.
I hope so.
You fathers will understand.
You have a little girl...
an adorable little girl
who looks up to you...
and adores you in a way
you could never have imagined.
I remember how her little hand
used to fit inside mine...
how she used to lover to sit on my lap
and lean her head against my chest.
She said I was her hero.
Then the day comes when she wants
to get her ears pierced...
and wants you to drop her off a block
before the movie theatre.
Next thing you know, she's
wearing eye shadow and high heels.
From that moment on
you're in a constant state of panic.
You worry about her going out
with the wrong kind of guys...
the kind of guys
who only want one thing.
And you know exactly
what that one thing is...
because it's the same thing you wanted
when you were their age.
Then she gets a little older...
and you quit worrying about her
meeting the wrong guy...
and you worry about her
meeting the right guy.
And that's the biggest fear
of all because...
then you lose her.
And before you know it, you're sitting
all alone in a big, empty house...
wearing rice on your tux,
wondering what happened to your life.
It was just six months ago
that it happened here.
Just six months ago
that the storm broke.
Annie had been studying
for her masters in architecture...
for the past semester in Rome.
I remember I was at work,
walking through the factory.
I own a company called Sidekicks.
We manufacture athletic shoes.
Anyway, I remember
how preoccupied I was that day.
- I'm sorry, Mr Banks.
- My fault, Grace.
Annie had never been that far away from
home, and she was due back any minute.
I couldn't wait
to see the kid.
George, she landed.
My daughter has been studying abroad,
been flying for 11 hours.
I'm not wild about her being
in the air. You have kids, Juan.
You understand. It's-lt's better
when they're on the ground.
I've always been
a concerned parent.
I'm big on car seats,
seat belts, bedtimes, curfews...
calling when you get somewhere,
never running with a sharp object.
- Hi, George.
- What can I say? I'm a father.
- Worrying comes with the territory.
- Is Nina picking her up at the airport?
- Yeah.
- And you're gonna meet them?
Yeah. Yeah,
I'm going home right now.
I, uh-- My keys are--
- Here.
- Oh, yeah. Sorry.
- And sign this.
- Okay.
- Hat.
- Okay, thanks. Now-- Oh!
- Okay. Bye.
- Bring her by.
I left work early because I had
a little something to pick up
for Annie's homecoming.
We live in a small town in
Southern California called San Marino.
I love this town, and not
just because it's the kind of place...
where people still
smile at each other...
- Bye.
- but because it hasn't changed much
in the past 25 years.
And since I'm not a guy who's big on
change, this town fits me like a glove.
I got Annie's ten-speed
all cleaned up and polished.
New seats, new tyres.
I couldn't wait to show it to her.
This is our house.
24 Maple Drive.
Annie was just in grammar school
when we bought it.
A few years later, we got
a surprise package-- our son Matt.
I love this house.
I love that I taught my kids...
to ride their bikes
in the driveway.
I love that I slept with them
in tents in the backyard.
I love that we carved our initials
in the tree out front.
This house is warm in the winter,
cool in the summer...
and looks spectacular
with Christmas lights.
It's a great house,
and I never want to move.
But the think I think
I like best about this house...
are the voices I hear
when I walk through the door.
- Hey. Hi. You got out early.
- Hi.
- Where is she?
- Oh, she's, uh, unpacking.
She looks-- She looks so fabulous,
just fabulous. Different.
- Anyway, she can't wait to see you.
- Different.
- Ciao, Papa.
- Hey.
Annie brought me this candy bar
all the way from Rome.
Let's not get it
on our American furniture.
Matty. The high tops.
- Hey, grazie.
- Hey, you're welcome.
- What do you mean, different?
- Oh.
- Annie.
- Hi, Dad.
Hey, hey, hey!
- God, I missed you.
- You look all lit up inside.
Oh, I feel
all lit up inside.
- Maybe we should go to Rome
for a few months, honey.
- Oh, you two would love it.
It's the most romantic place
on Earth.
- You smell pretty good too.
- Oh, you like it? It was a present.
Doesn't she look incredible?
I almost didn't recognize her.
Come on. Dinner's on the stove.
Honey, you wanna come?
Oh, Mom, I had this pasta in Florence.
I forget what it's called.
All right. Now that
we're all back under one roof...
we have some very important items
to discuss.
First on the list: Who wants to go
to the Laker game on Thursday?
- Oh.
- Me. Definitely yes.
Okay, and with
your busy schedule too.
Honey, I can't. I have
inventory to do that night.
- Aw.
- Uh, Thursday, sure. Absolutely.
- Okay.
- Matty, could you use your fork?
Number two: Paul Simon
is coming to the Forum...
and I think I can
get us great seats.
- Um, yeah, sure.
- All right. Paul Simon's
an "um, yeah, sure..."
which I believe
translates to a yes?
- All right. I'll call that guy.
- Um, honey?
Could you please get that
bottle of wine in the fridge for me?
- Sure.
- Dad, wait. Um, I don't know.
- You don't want to see Paul Simon?
- No, l-l do. It's just, um--
- Well, what is it?
- Well--
- Honey, is something going on?
- Yes.
Yeah, it is, Mom. Uh-- God, this is
a hard thing to tell parents.
Especially when they're
my parents. Oh, God.
Honey, just say it.
What's the big deal?
- Yeah.
- Okay.
I met somebody in Rome.
Um, he's an American.
Uh, he's from L.A., actually,
and, um, his name's Bryan MacKenzie.
And he's this
completely wonderful...
wonderful, amazing man, and--
Well, we, we started
seeing each other...
a lot, and, um...
we fell in love.
It actually happened.
And, uh...
we've decided to get married
which means that I'm engaged!
I'm engaged!
I'm getting married!
- Congratulations.
- Thank you.
Well, my, my.
Oh, so-- Oh, my. And that's
your engagement ring, huh?
Yes, yes! We got it
at a flea market outside of Rome.
The guy we bought it from said
it was at least 100 years old.
- Wow.
- So, Dad. Stop it. Say something.
I-l'm sorry.
What did you say?
Dad, I met a man in Rome,
and he's wonderful...
and brilliant,
and we're getting married.
- Mom, what's he doing?
- George.
George, what is it?
Well. This is-- This--
This is ridiculous.
- What?
- You're-- You're-- You're
too young to get married.
Too young? Dad, I'm 22.
If I'm not mistaken...
that's, that's a year older
than Mom was when you guys got married.
- That is absolutely not true.
- Oh, no, you-- Ha!
You're absolutely wrong.
- You were this age when I married you?
- No! I was younger.
I was this age
when she was born.
That-- That-- That doesn't matter.
Times have changed.
You mother was mature, and, uh,
22 isn't what it used to--
Matty, would you turn on
the air conditioner? It's hot in here.
I thought-- I thought you didn't
believe in marriage.
I thought that it meant
that a woman lost her identity.
I-l thought you wanted to get a job
before you settled down...
so you could earn money
and be your own person.
All right. Hold on.
I didn't think I believed
in marriage until I met Bryan.
And Bryan's not like any other guy
I've ever known.
I want to be married to him.
And I'm not gonna lose
my identity with him...
because he's not
some overpowering, macho guy.
I mean, he's like you, Dad,
except he's brilliant.
He happens to love the fact
that I want to be an architect.
He wants me to design
a house for us to live in.
He said he'd move
anywhere I got a job.
Give me a little credit, George.
I'm not gonna marry some ape
who wants me to wear...
go-go boots and an apron.
I'm telling you you'll love him.
He's a genius.
And sweet.
And l-- I love him more
than anything in the world.
- What does Bryan do?
- Who's Bryan?
- I forgot his name!
- He's an independent
communications consultant.
- Independent?
- Yes.
Yeah. That's code for "unemployed." This
is perfect. You meet an unemployed...
amazingly brilliant non-ape
that I'm going to have to support.
I suppose I'm going to have to hire him
and fire some hard-working guy...
with three kids
because my son-in-law--
the, the independent
communications consultant--
can't get a job anywhere else.
No wonder he'll move
anywhere you get a job.
You're not getting married,
and that's it, and that's final.
And I don't like you calling me George.
I mean, when did this start?
Daddy, what is wrong with you?
What? You're telling me
you're happy about this ?
George, please, will you stop
acting like a lunatic father...
and go out and talk to her
before she runs out that door...
marries this kid
and we never see her again?
All right.
"Kid." How do you know he's a kid?
He could be 45 years old.
An independent
communications consultant...
does not mean
he's an unemployable non-ape.
Bryan happens to be
a computer genius.
Companies send him all over the world
hooking up these complex systems.
Major banks and corporations
send him to, to Tokyo...
and Brazil and Geneva.
I mean, he's--
He's a genius.
You mentioned that.
How old is this genius?
Twenty-six, not forty-five.
You guys still think I can't hear you
when you're one room away.
If you love him so much,
I know I'll love him too.
- Bryan?
- Mackenzie.
Bryan MacKenzie.
- Yeah.
- I can't wait to meet him.
Good, 'cause he'll be here
in an hour to meet you.
I suppose you're not in the mood
for a little one-on-one?
- Daddy, I'm wearing heels.
- Come to the right place.
I've got sunshine
On a cloudy day
When it's cold outside
I've got the month of May
-He's got it behind the back. The crowd
is going wild. The crowd is going wild.
-I guess
- It's-- It's--
- You say
What can make me feel this way
My girl, my girl
my girl
- Talkin' 'bout my girl
- Hey!
My girl, ooh-ooh
Hey, hey, hey
- Hey, hey, hey
- Yes.
- Dad!
- Yes!
Oh, travelling!
I don't need no money
Fortune or fame
I got all the riches, baby
- This is it. Eight up.
- One man can claim.
- Go.
- Ready?
Well, I guess
- You'll say
- Hold on.
- No!
- What can make me feel this way
- Hold on. Hold on. Hold on.
No, no, no, no. No!
My girl, my girl
my girl
- Talkin' 'bout my girl
- Yes!
My girl
Talkin' 'bout my girl
- I've got sunshine on a cloudy day
- All right.
With my girl
I've even got the month of May
You're not really getting married,
are you?
Dad, stop!
- So can you see him?
What does he look like?
- He just drove up.
And?
He drove too fast.
Well, wait. So, George,
you want to meet him?
Do I want to meet him?
- Oh, hello. Hi.
- Hello, I'm Brian MacKenzie.
Good. I'm Nina Banks.
Yes. Yes, I recognize you
from your picture.
- Yes, come in, please.
- The one Annie had with her in Rome.
- Yes. Oh, good. Come in.
- Okay. Hello, Mr Banks.
It was the first time I ever
hated the sound of my own name.
- Hi.
- I've heard so much about you.
It's great
to finally meet you, sir.
"Sir." Two words
now crossed my mind:
"brown" and "nose."
Annie talks about you so much,
I feel like I already know you.
- Bryan.
- Oh, Annie.
- So this is him.
- Oh, he's just-- Uh, just.
A little nervous. Just like one
of those situations you read about...
you know,
meeting the in-laws.
But you two seem great. I'm sure
I have nothing to be nervous about.
But, uh, still, l--
Let's, let's, uh, uh,
go into the, uh, uh, the, uh--
The-- uh-- Great.
- I think he's adorable.
- I don't like him.
- Oh, George, for God--
- He's wearing Nikes.
- Mom, where's Matty?
- Oh, he fell asleep watching TV.
- Oh, well, you'll meet him tomorrow.
- Okay.
- Sit down.
- So.
Um, how did you two, uh, meet?
Oh. We were the only two people
at this revival house in Rome...
for a midnight showing
of Bringing Up Baby.
- We kept hearing each other laugh.
- And at all the same places.
Yeah. When it was over,
I picked him up.
Oh, no, no, no. I went over
to you to ask directions...
and then one thing
led to another and--
And that was it.
For the next three months...
we never left
each other's sight.
We went to all these museums,
all these great concerts, the opera.
We travelled to the country. Remember
that place we stayed in Tuscany?
Oh, with the, uh--
- Uh, suffice it to say,
it was not a four-star hotel.
- No.
You have a very brave daughter.
Bryan, um, what is it exactly
that you do?
Annie was saying
something about computers.
Uh, yes, uh, I'm an independent
communications consultant.
Yeah, yeah,
that part I heard.
Sounds fake, right?
Like it's not a real job?
- No, we wouldn't say that. No.
- That's what my dad said...
when he first heard
what I was doing.
But, um, what it is,
uh, in this case:
Uh, Pacific lnternational Bank
sent me to Rome to hook up...
the X-Dot connection
to their European subsidiary.
Um-- Uh, all European computers, uh,
communicate on the Dot 25 network.
And, uh, since Pacific lnternational
is an L.A.-based firm...
they wanted to interface with standard
European protocol, so I set 'em up.
And, uh, why are you, uh, independent?
What was that?
Because no one can afford
to keep him on staff.
Well, I guess that's true,
basically, but, uh--
You know, driving down here,
I tried to put myself in your place.
Your daughter comes home
after spending four months in Rome...
a-and I'm sure you couldn't wait
to see her, and she shocks you...
with the news
that she's getting married.
And to somebody
you've never met before.
I'm sure that
must've been pretty...
um, heavy...
to use a word
from your generation.
I just wanna say
that I'm an upstanding citizen.
I've-l've never been
engaged before.
I've, uh, never really
been in love before.
And, uh, I think Annie's
the greatest person I've ever met.
And I can't wait
to marry her and...
one day have children
and grandchildren.
And I'm gonna do my best
to be supportive of her dreams.
And she's a very gifted architect.
Um-- I'm just thrilled
that I met her.
I love your daughter.
And the feelings that I have for her
are never gonna change.
And I'm here to stay.
- Oh, honey.
- Mom.
I'm so happy for you.
That's okay, Mr Banks,
We don't have to hug.
- Well, uh, maybe later.
- I know.
Well, that was just, um--
That was just the best thing
I've ever heard anybody say.
- Oh. Good.
- Well, I meant it.
Listen, I want to take Bryan out
for a drive, show him around San Marino.
- Okay, honey. Good.
- Annie, it's a little nippy out.
- You might want to put on a sweater.
- Oh, Dad, it's okay. I'm kinda warm.
Still, there's a chill in the air,
and you've been on a plane.
- Dad, I'm fine.
- Annie, it is kinda cold out.
- It is?
- Yeah.
- All right, thanks. I'll get my jacket.
- All right.
Right then, I realized
my day had passed.
She'll always love me, of course,
but not in the same way.
I was no longer the man
in my little girl's life.
I was like an old shoe,
the kind we manufacture...
and get all excited about and then
after a few years discontinue.
That was me now:
Mr Discontinued.
Mom? Don't wait up, okay?
We might stop for a cappuccino.
Oh, okay, fine.
Well, good night, Bryan.
Good night.
Um, good night, Mr Banks.
Oh, you can call him George,
or Dad.
- George will be fine.
- Okay. Uh--
I'll say it next time I see you.
Drive carefully, and don't forget
to fasten your condom.
- Dad!
- Seat belt!
I meant-- I meant
seat belt.
Um, I'm putting your father to bed.
This has been a very big night for him.
- Bye.
- Okay.
- Well, good night.
- Have fun.
- Bye.
- Good night.
- Bye.
- Bye-bye. Have fun.
- Bye.
This is a great kid.
- It'll never last.
- Wanna bet?
Nina, Annie's much too spirited
for this kid.
He's totally wrong for her.
I give it two months, tops. One month.
This is the right guy for Annie, George.
I'm telling you, I feel it in my bones.
- I mean, we're two lucky parents.
We are.
- Lucky? Oh!
What about his laugh? It was such
a giveaway. It was so phoney with his--
- I thought it was totally sincere.
- Oh, please.
What about that little rehearsed speech
he gave? It was right out of a book.
How To Grease Your Future
Mother-ln-Law.
You're off here, George,
really. I thought it was
completely from his heart.
- Why do you think I cried?
- Good question.
I don't know why either of you cried.
I'm losing my voice.
- Are my glands swollen or something?
- Let me see. No. No, honey, no.
And what about
the way he kept touching her?
- What do you mean?
- What do you mean what do I mean?
- He could-- He couldn't
keep his hands off her.
- Oh, yes. Kind of like...
when we were engaged, except that
wasn't all you couldn't keep off me.
That was different.
And we certainly never
acted that way in your parents' house.
Ah! You want me to name all the rooms
we did it in at my parents' house?
That was different.
We were like two imbeciles.
- This is our child we're talking about.
- Our child? Oh, George.
You know, I still think you see Annie
as a seven-year-old in pigtails.
Well, you know, that just shows
how much you know about me...
because that is not at all
how I see her.
Right, a seven-year-old
with pigtails.
I mean, here's the thing: We have
no idea who this Bryan really is.
- Oh. Uh-huh.
- I mean, if that's his real name.
I mean, who knows?
You know, maybe he already has a wife.
You read about these cases every day--
you know, men who have wives and
families stashed all across the country.
I mean, he could be a professional
con artist who meets innocents abroad...
and gives them this song and dance about
being an independent whatever that was.
And then skips out after bilking them
for all they're worth.
- Wh-What are you doing?
- I'm getting ready for bed.
You know, then I suppose you're not
interested that I believe
I remember seeing someone...
who looked like Bryan's twin
on America's Most Wanted.
You're right.
I'm not.
George.
George, l-l thought he was great.
I liked him a lot.
And I'm really ha-- Ann--
George, will you please stop making
that face? I'm very happy for Annie.
I'm excited for her.
This is a big deal.
I think that we should
at least hug.
This is great news.
Oh, a wedding.
Father of the bride.
Can you believe it?
Forty-eight hours later,
the wedding was still on...
and we were on our way to Bel-Air
to meet Bryan's folks.
I don't know why we have to have
brunch with total strangers.
Because their son is marrying
our daughter and it's not
an unusual custom meeting the in-laws.
You know, that's another thing.
I hate that expression: in-laws.
What does it mean anyway?
We're legally bound to these people?
I don't wanna be "in-lawed," especially
to people who live in Bel-Air.
I mean, what kind of people
have brunch and live in Bel-Air?
Rich people.
They probably live in the one shack
in the middle of all these mansions.
- Nice mood, George.
- What? I'm in a good mood.
Okay, I think this is it.
Yeah.
- Nice shack, babe.
- Worse. It's the biggest house
on the street.
Now we're related to
pretentious snobs. Just what we need.
You look very handsome, George,
way too young to be in-lawed.
Well, it really shouldn't matter
how I look. We're not here
to win their approval.
Just because you
changed your outfit five times.
Oh, and you didn't try on
nine different shirts?
- Two.
- Two.
Two long-sleeve,
two short-sleeve.
- Hi!
- George, Nina, welcome.
- Hi, nice to meet you.
- I'm John.
- How do you do?
- Hi, I'm Joanna.
- Welcome. Come in, please.
- Welcome to our house. Come on in.
- Come in.
- Thank you so much. Well.
All I could think about
was the size of this place.
We could've parked our whole house
in the foyer.
Ah, what a nerve-racking thing,
meeting your future in-laws.
- Yeah.
- What a relief. You two
look perfectly normal.
Oh, well, I am.
I have to tell you,
we got so nervous about today...
about meeting the two of you,
l-l must've tried
on three different outfits.
- Oh.
- I changed my shirt four times.
- Can you imagine anyone
being that jerky?
- Oh, I know.
So, come on in. I thought
we'd have lunch in here.
- Oh, what a great room.
- Marta.
- Thank you, Marta.
Marta, estos son nuestros in-laws,
George and Nina Banks.
- Hello.
- How do you do? Hi.
Oh, and here's
the rest of our family.
Oh, don't worry. They look like killers,
but they're actually quite friendly.
As long as you're relaxed,
why, they're relaxed.
Hi, puppy, puppy, puppy.
Why, you're--
All right, fellas, that's enough.
Go on. Release! Good boys.
- Well, why don't we all sit down.
- Please.
- Oh, thank you.
- All right. Here we go.
- George. Honey.
- Thank you, sweetheart.
I don't know if the kids told you, but
we were over in Europe on business...
and we stopped in Rome
to see Bryan.
So we got to spend a few days
with Annie. Oh, boy!
- We just fell in love
with her immediately.
- Isn't she great?
Yes. We just couldn't
be happier about this.
How did you, uh,
take the news, George?
Me?
Uh, truthfully, uh, I was
a little surprised.
- I was shocked.
- So was l.
After all, they'd only known each other
a few months.
Exactly. And Annie's
just finishing up school.
Absolutely. Oh, believe me,
I tossed and turned over this one...
but the bottom line
is they're in love.
They're over 21, and whether they're
rushing into this or not...
may be not for us to say.
Right. "Not for us to say."
We're only their parents.
I was about to say these very words
out loud when he hit me with--
Yeah, sooner or later,
you just have to let your kids go...
and hope you
brought 'em up right.
George. Nina. Darling.
This guy was making
a little too much sense for me.
Suddenly my shirt collar felt like
it was starting to strangle me.
To George and Nina...
and a future
of wonderful memories.
First, the wedding
of our children...
and the happiness we'll share
watching their lives.
Then sharing the joy
of our grandchildren together.
Birthday parties,
graduation--
Now I knew where they got the
expression "like father, like son."
- I also knew I needed some air.
- Can you tell me where the restroom is?
Oh, actually, the one down here
is a mess. We're remodelling.
Uh, why don't you try
the one at the top of the stairs?
It's the seventh door on the left.
- Second?
- Seventh.
- Seventh.
- Seventh.
I'm leaving.
I'm relaxed, and I'm leaving.
Relent.
Re-- Recoil.
Reverse.
- Well, I hope George hasn't
gotten lost up there.
- Oh, no, he's gonna be fine.
Okay.
Well, um--
Such a lovely sculpture.
Oh. Doesn't it have a wonderful
sense of motion?
We got it in Denmark. All the-- Quite
a lot of my family's from Copenhagen.
- Is that right?
- Oh, yeah. Doesn't it have
a wonderful sense of balance?
- Oh, it's amazing.
- I was going to put it in the garden.
Well, actually, uh, uh, Bryan spent
quite a few summers in Denmark.
Uh, he now speaks
better Danish than, than Joanna.
N-- Is that a fact?
And we're planning a trip
back this summer.
I think this is
a very beautiful spread here.
- Oh, thank you.
- Well, shall--
should we wait for George?
- Maybe I should, uh, check on George.
- No.
- Release!
- Oh, man.
Wow. No kidding?
Really? It went great?
Uh, better than great. I mean, it, just,
just couldn't have gone better.
God, I'm so relieved.
I mean, who knows what can happen
at these things, you know?
- This is great.
- Now I feel like the wedding's
officially on.
Um, Dad, that looks so good.
This looks great.
Um, Bryan's mom called with the names
of her immediate family.
- Is this a joke?
- Not only is it not a joke...
but eight of them are
from Copenhagen and well...
it's the bride's family's
responsibility to--
Do you have any idea what
a round-trip ticket from Denmark costs?
Try eight round-trip tickets.
Well, actually, it's nine.
You see, Joanna's,
uh, cousin Gitte...
is apparently a rather large woman
so she needs two seats.
She can lop over into the aisle for all
I care 'cause there's no way I'm pay--
Hi, everyone.
Sorry I'm late.
- Hi.
- That's okay.
- How're you doing? Hi.
- Hello.
- Hey, dude.
- Hi.
- Oh. Here you are.
- Oh. Well, thank you.
- It's "you're welcome" in Danish.
- Ah, thanks.
This looks great. I hear you're
a whiz at the barbecue, Dad.
Well. So have you two given any thought
to what kind of wedding you want?
- Well, we've talked about it.
- Yes, and what do you think?
Big? Small? Or--
Well, it can't be too big.
We don't have that many friends.
So we're talking
in the small vicinity, then?
Well, no, she didn't say "small."
She said not too big.
Yeah, but nothing fancy
or overblown, right?
- Right.
- Right.
So kind of the "less is more"
theory, huh, Annie?
- Basically.
- The reason I'm asking all these
questions is I have a great idea...
where we can have this lovely,
not small but not too big wedding.
You do? Where?
At our favourite restaurant, the place
we've been eating at for 15 years.
The best.
The Steak Pit.
- Dad, get serious.
- I don't think
you want the word "pit"...
on a wedding invitation,
George.
Really, Dad, a rib joint
with sawdust on the floor...
isn't exactly what I had in mind
for my wedding.
- No offence.
- Well, excuse me.
What did you have in mind,
the Beverly Hills Hotel?
No. Actually, what I'd like
is to have...
my wedding in a church
and have the reception here.
- Oh.
- That's what I was hoping for.
Here?
Don't I have
the greatest Dad in the world?
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- Can we have some burgers?
- Okay, here's the bride burger
and your groom burger.
And, uh, enjoy 'em. Now, go on
over there and see the jugglers.
My dream wedding,
a barbecue wedding.
- This is a better idea
than the Steak Pit.
- Yeah.
We'll get some, uh, picnic tables
and, uh, crepe paper and balloons.
You know, invite all our best pals.
I'll make my famous guacamole.
A wedding at home.
This is a great idea.
Great idea. Picnic tables, crepe paper,
balloons, you at the barbecue.
- Oh, George.
- What don't you like about that?
Why have you been
acting so crazy since the moment
Annie told you she was getting married?
You know, I haven't been acting crazy.
I've simply acted...
Iike any normal,
red-blooded American dad.
Normal? Uh-huh. Okay.
Falling in the MacKenzie's pool.
Suggesting the Steak Pit
as a wedding reception.
Oh, watching America's Most Wanted
every night, looking for Bryan's face.
And now this picnic scenario.
George, a wedding is a big deal!
Everybody seems to understand this
but you. And as a matter of fact--
N-Now don't go nuts when I tell
you this, but when Bryan's mom...
called with her list, she
suggested that they might just wanna...
pitch in and help
with the cost of the wedding.
You know, hey, we may not have a house
the size of Rhode lsland,
but we're not poverty-stricken.
We can certainly afford to give
our daughter a proper wedding.
Proper. Not you in a chef's hat,
right, George?
- Who said anything about a chef's hat?
When did this come up?
- Yes, but I know you.
I'm close. Oh, look.
I just really saw this
whole thing differently.
Like, I wanted to call a wedding
coordinator to make the whole thing...
really, really beautiful, and you want
to call Gabe at the Steak Pit.
Wait a minute. Wedding coordinator?
What's a wedding coordinator?
- A person who coordinates weddings.
- What's to coordinate?
Well, there's the invitations
and the flowers, the food,
the band, the photographer.
George, why are you
giving me that look again? A lot
of people hire wedding coordinators.
Nina, you and I run
successful businesses. We can certainly
pull together one smallish wedding.
- Yeah, okay.
- We don't need
some fancy wedding coordinator.
Okay, George, then
let's just forget it, okay? Because,
you know, I just really can't take this.
- I'm not used to all this
arguing, so just, uh--
- Fine. I don't want to argue.
Just-- Do me a favour, okay, George?
Just go on upstairs and I'll...
- finish up down here.
- Fine. Fine. I'll go upstairs.
However, I would like
to remind you what happened
to what's-his-name down the street.
His daughter got married and the thing
practically broke him. Remember?
- I remember.
- You and I could end up...
shuffling along the sidewalk
in our bathrobes.
- That was a joke.
- Hilarious.
Oh, all right. I'll go.
I'll meet the wedding coordinator.
You know I don't want to,
but I'll go...
if you still want me to go,
all right?
- Okay?
- Okay.
Now, let me do the talking,
girls, okay?
Well, I negotiate better than you.
- Now what's this guy's name?
- Franck.
- Frank.
- Franck.
- Franck?
- Franck.
- Franck. Franck. Franck.
- Oh, this is it.
Okay, here we go.
- Ah, Mom.
- No. No. This is just--
- Oh, my, Annie.
- This is amazing.
- Look. Look at this trim.
- What?
- Oh!
- Isn't this beautiful? Pearls.
- Oh!
- Oh, gee.
-Oh, wow. I love how they did this, Mom.
-Annie.
- Yeah?
- Do you like this place setting?
- Oh, it's beautiful.
- That china also comes...
in a wonderful Sara Lee yellow.
- Hi. You must be Franck?
- I wish.
I'm Franck's assistant,
Howard Weinstein.
-Well, I'm Nina Banks and this is Annie.
-Hello.
- Hi. Hi.
- Oh.
- The bride, and, uh...
- George, my husband.
- How do you do?
May I offer anyone any refreshments:
Pellegrino, espresso, champagne?
- Oh. Um, no. No.
- No.
I'll alert the boss that you're here.
Look around. Have fun.
Oh. Oh.
This is so great.
- Annie.
- Yeah?
- Oh! Wouldn't this be perfect for you?
- Oh, it's gorgeous!
Look how it goes with the crystal.
Oh, perfect.
Moster and Missus Banks
and de luffly bride. Hello.
Hello.
I am Franck.
A plasure to mat you.
Howard's has affer you
sumding to drink, I hop.
- Oh, yes.
- Yes.
- Oh, the bride, the bride.
Right away, I realized this was
a mistake of gargantuan proportions.
This guy was going to coordinate
Nu!
Okay, please come wit me and
we'll talk all about yer big day!
-Okay.
-The big day for de bride. Papala, coom.
Oh, seet down
on my own design.
I design that.
Very nice, I think.
Now, so, you have not
made up your list yet...
but you know that you want de wedding
at hom on Jawn-wary six, rit?
- Uh-huh. Yeah.
- Excuse me?
Yes, we would. We would like a wedding
at home on January the sixth.
Mmm, I luff the weddings
at the homs.
They're vary personable,
very varm 'n' cuzy, vary fabulous.
Oh, so, Jawn-wary six gif us
seven munths.
Uh-oh! Hello!
That's five munths!
Five munths not much!
But that don't bother me so much
because it's a little bit tight...
but we can do it and
it will be spak-takuler!
I saw you wurry a second.
Don't wurry 'bout dat.
So now, les see.
This is what I sugjoost. I sugjoost
that we select a keck furst.
- Okay.
- You know, cuz de keck...
vary often determun vhat kind
of wedding that you end up having.
So les just choose de keck,
okay?
Okay.
- Choose-- Choose-- Choose the what ?
- The cake, Dad.
Thank you, der assistant.
Dis ees fun!
So dis ees a vary popular keck...
with the many of
the foshinable woddings, you know.
And this,
I jus don't do any more.
And this is fabulliz.
Oh! Oh!
That is incredible!
Annie, that's just like the one
we saw in the magazine.
Do you like it, Dad?
Well, what is that? ls that--
Is that dollars? $1,200?
Vel, Moster Bonks,
dis ees a vary raisonable price...
for a keck of dis magnootud.
A cake, Franck, is made
of flour and water.
- My first car didn't cost $1,200
- George.
Well, welcome to the '90s,
Moster Bonks.
Not only did I not understand
a syllable this guy was saying...
now I had the feeling
he was putting me down.
Excuse me, um, Franck.
- Could we please have a second?
- Oh, of course!
Take two seconds. Howard,
letz return calls. Could we--
All right, George, what's the problem?
Do you want to leave?
- Do you?
- No. I like him.
I think he's going to make this
a beautiful wedding.
Don't look at me.
You guys decide.
Give the man a chance, George, please.
Annie, do you like this cake?
It is incredible, Dad.
- Well, all right.
But, look, let's just--
- I know.
We-- We're going to, George.
We're gonna hold things down.
- We just-- We won't go nuts.
- No. No.
- Thank you.
- Franck!
- Coming!
- We'll take the cake.
- Oh, good, good.
Don't worry, Moster Bonks. I'm gonna
bring de crew over to the house.
We gif everything that we haf
in the once-over department...
and then in the end you be
vary, vary happy, trust me.
- You just smile away.
Now, interesting idea.
- Yes.
Wit regard to thame and kolor
of de wedding, dis is how I see it:
I think we go vary elegant,
inside de tent, you know--
With one swift move,
I'd been cut out of the deal.
Annie, Nina and Franck
were in charge now.
...and bootiful china--
Now, spo! And crystal
to drop over dead for!
Old Dad was history.
- ...new machine to work now.
- A few days later, I was at work...
relieved for once not to be
talking about the wedding.
- I wore those 750-trainers
over the weekend.
- They still stiff?
- I think they need a soft--
- Just back from the Orient, ladies,
and I got a new shipment.
Beautiful merchandise.
Gucci, Cartier, Louis Vuitton.
- I never heard of Louis Vuitton.
- I don't know.
He's big, darling, believe me, or they
wouldn't be knocking 'em off.
Don't worry, Mr Banks,
they're on a break.
- That's okay.
- George, Franck's office, line two.
Uh, maybe I could see those mockups
by Friday, then, Dave? Thanks.
This was the call I'd been dreading
since the moment I heard...
the words, "wedding coordinator."
- Hello.
- Mr Banks, this is Howard Weinstein...
Franck's executive assistant.
I have-- estimate for you.
- I can barely hear you!
- I'm in my car...
going through ...water Canyon.
- Call you back?
- No, no, no! l-l want the estimate.
How much?
What's the damage?
For everything from the flowers
to the honeymoon limo--
Okay, everything.
How much?
--dred --ifty head.
You're breaking up. It sounded like
you said 150 a head.
No! No!
- Good. I was about to kill myself.
- It's 250 a head.
- Get me Nina at work.
- She just called.
- I need the final headcount.
- She just gave it to me.
What is it? One-fifty?
$250 a head means for the four of us to
attend this wedding in our own home...
will cost $1,000.
Therefore, we are not
getting up from this table...
until we cut this list down
to the bare minimum.
Now, invite as many people as you want
to the church, pack 'em in...
build a grandstand if you want,
but we are not having...
more than 150 people in this house
on the day of the wedding.
-All right. Now let's start eliminating.
-Okay, Jim Pepper and wife.
- Oh, great. Start with one of my guys.
- Fine. We'll start with one of mine.
I'll cut Steve and Stephanie Turrill.
- They're very good
clients of mine. They're--
- Say no more. They're history.
- All right. Jim Pepper and wife.
- I've known the guy for 20 years.
You haven't seen him
in 15, George.
All right. I'll say
I lost his address.
Now here's somebody-- your cousin Betsy,
the poet/waitress/picture framer.
We can't cut family.
They know about the wedding.
I only invited one person: Cameron.
Mom said I could have a friend there.
For 250 bucks, you can see Cameron
after the wedding.
All right. Very good.
Five down. We're rolling.
All right. What about Harry Kirby?
We haven't seen him in ages.
- I don't know.
- Didn't Harry Kirby die last year?
Yes! Good!
Oh, uh, sorry.
- Who's Franck Eggelhoffer?
- What?
He's coordinating the wedding,
and then we're not going to invite him?
Exactly! Do you think
I'm gonna pay a guy 15%%%...
plus an hourly, plus an additional $500
to feed him and that assistant of his?
- Have you lost your mind?
- Can I put Cameron back on the list
if he promises not to eat?
You know, that's not a bad idea.
Who else can we ask not to eat?
My parents, your mother.
Why don't we just charge people? That
way we can make money on the wedding.
Annie. A--
I was kidding.
"How to give a beautiful wedding
on a small budget.
"Bake your own wedding cake.
"Find a good tailor and copy
a designer dress.
Have a friend take the pictures."
From that moment on, I decided
to shut my mouth and go with the flow.
My first move was to get
the old tuxedo out of mothballs.
Hey! Lookin' good, my man.
Get down! Hey!
What's new, pussycat
Whoa, whoa, whoa, oh
What's new, pussycat
Whoa, whoa, whoa
- Whoa, whoa
- George!
- Hey
- Annie, he's up here.
Pussycat, pussycat
I love you
'Deed I do
Yes, I do
Hey, what do you think?
Bought it in '75 and it still fits.
- Like a glove.
- Yes. It's just, it's a real way to go.
Um, maybe--
Maybe you could get a new tux.
Uh, we're all wearing new clothes, and--
What? Don't you think I look cute?
I mean, there will be a lot
of single gals there.
- I'll get it.
- Oh, oh.
Oh, by the way. Good news.
The church is free.
- Oh, finally something is free.
- I meant available.
Oh, I like that. It's very good.
Adorable.
Oh, they've done the shutters. It's like
kind of an I Remember Mama touch.
Oh, it"s very nice.
We change it all though. Let's go.
Franck and his crew had arrived to
finalize all the details of the wedding.
First was an audition for a band singer.
Volare
Oh, oh
Cantare
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa
No wonder
Annie's happy heart sings
Bryan's love has given her wings
Hey!
Like birds of a feather
A rainbow together--
Just as I was about to say, "Don't
call us, we'll call you," I heard...
Howard, we'll huf to move out all de
furniture to huf any sort of room to--
Oh. Dis is a nice statement.
It's lots of fun.
Mrs Bonks, one kvestion--
Howard, uh, Franck was saying something
about moving out the furniture.
We have to move it all out
if we're going to fit
more than 200 bodies in here.
- But what if someone wants to sit down?
- We bring in chairs.
Well, if you're bringing in chairs, then
why are you moving the furniture out?
Mr Bonks, I do dis for a loving,
you know? Trust me.
A movink van must tek everything out.
It's an extra expense. Oh, sure.
Yah, yah.
Bot we need it. Annie!
Mrs Bonks. Come this way, please.
So, vhat do you think of the zinger?
- We do have other choizes.
- I'd like to see 'em.
Good. That'll be no problem.
My caterer, everyone, and my best friend
in the whole world, Hanck Kucinetzki.
Hi.
- Hi.
- Hi.
If I cud have a mewmunt of yer time
to discuss de monyo.
- "De monyo." "De monyo." Remind me?
The menu! Yes.
- No, the menu.
Onfortulley, Hanck doesn't
spake Anglish, so I will translit.
Franck, that'll--
that'll be a big help.
Dis is vhat Hanck sugjoost.
Fer the men kers, he vants to serf voll.
Oh, really?
I have a problem with that.
- With what?
- With veal. I keep reading...
there's a lot of inhumane treatment
in the way they treat the calves.
I read that too.
You're very chic. No voll.
So that leafs seafoot,
which is also chic.
Or fowl, which is not chic
but chip.
Cheap. Finally a word I understood.
My first and last piece of good news.
- Mrs Banks?
- Yes?
One last thing.
- What is he doing?
- We need more amps
to light the house and the tent.
- It's cheaper
than bringing in a new line.
- In terms of the florals out front...
we're gonna color coordinate
with the swans, right?
- Swans?
- I think it'd be wonderful.
- Perfect.
- We're having swans?
- Franck thought it would be great...
to have swans waddling around
the tulip border, you know,
as the guests enter.
- It would be really sweet.
- Nina, we don't have a tulip border.
- You will.
How much is--
Mr Bonks,
ve huff problus.
Hanck does not vant
no vay to prepare chuckun.
- He doesn't what?
- Franck, does the tent connect
through here?
I've been meaning to fix that.
You have to push, then pull.
Oh.
Oh, now les not panic
about anything. Les see.
Oh. Oh, that-- Eww. That's only
a sem. We cun fix that.
Now, Mr Bonks, please,
about the seafoot.
Hanck vants to know
if it's hokay or not hokay.
No, Franck.
Tell Hanck it's not okay.
If I have to move out
all the furniture and add amps...
and repaint the walls and get
a new tux and pay for swans...
then I'd like
the "chipper" chicken.
- Is that clear?
- I understood the "chipper" part. Yeah.
Hokay. Dat's it. Hanck says
he will think about dis.
Now, we do not vant
to louse him.
He is a ganius, and
ve need his mand. Hokay? So.
I'll see vhat I can do.
Hanck? Hanck!
I'm fine.
Anyway, where were we? Oh.
- Yes.
- I see you're starting to lose it.
But I have one more question.
Very minor. I'll say it quickly.
Parking attendants. Four is comfortable.
Three is acceptable. Anything less...
- absolutely terrifies me.
- Two.
- Two.
- George--
- Two.
Hanck says if you vant the fowl,
he vasn't interested. He passes.
He-- He passes?
ls he gonna do our cake?
Hey, Dad. How's it going?
Hi. I came to get my sneakers.
I left them in Annie's room last night.
I was beginning to feel like I was
having an out-of-body experience.
I had to get out
of the house and fast.
Nina said as long as
I was escaping, would I mind...
escaping to the market
and picking up something for dinner?
Sure. That was all I needed.
A busy supermarket.
I needed to drive, mellow out,
get my mind off the wedding.
But mellowing out
was not in the cards.
Here we go.
Here we go. Yeah.
- Excuse me, sir. What are you doing?
- I'll tell you what I'm doing.
I want to buy eight hot dogs
and eight hot dog buns to go with them.
But no one sells eight hot dog buns.
They only sell twelve hot dog buns.
So I end up paying
for four buns I don't need.
So I am removing
the superfluous buns.
I-l'm sorry, sir, but you're gonna
have to pay for all twelve buns.
- They're not marked individually.
- Yeah.
And you wanna know why? Because some
big shot over at the wiener company...
got together with some big shot
over at the bun company...
and decided to rip off
the American public.
Because they think the American public
is a bunch of trusting nitwits...
- who'll pay for things they don't need
rather than make a stink.
- Get me security.
Well, they're not ripping off
this nitwit anymore...
because I'm not paying
for one more thing I don't need.
George Banks is saying no!
Who's George Banks?
Me!
Uh, why don't we just
calm down now, sir?
I'll tell you why "we" don't calm down.
Because you're not excited.
It takes two people for a "we"
to calm down, doesn't it?
Uh, that I don't know, sir. I'm just
the assistant manager of a supermarket.
But I'll tell you this. If you don't
pipe down and pay for those buns...
- I'm gonna call the police.
- Oh, right!
Yeah. Uh-huh. Yeah. Right.
- That's right.
- Hey.
- Right.
- Hey! Hey, come here!
- Uh-uh! Uh-uh!
- Come here!
Uh-uh! Uh-uh!
That was the low point.
Flipping out over four hot dog buns.
I couldn't figure out
why I'd gotten so nuts...
why the wedding had me so unglued.
Banks, your wife is here.
- Aren't you going to let me out?
- She wants to talk to you first.
- She wants to talk to me first?
- Thank you.
Hello, George.
Why do you look happy
to see me in here, Nina?
Happy? No, no, no.
I'm not happy, George.
You think I was happy to tell everyone
that I had to come...
down to the city jail and bail you out
for stealing hot dog buns?
- I wasn't stealing them--
- Ah!
- I was having a little--
- Ah!
I'm going to have to ask you
not to talk or I'll have to call...
Officer What's-his-name
over there.
You've been more
than I can handle, George.
Annie's wedding is not
a conspiracy against you.
It's just a wedding. People have them
every day in every country in the world.
I know it's going to be expensive,
but we don't go to Europe.
We don't own fancy cars.
I don't own expensive jewellery.
So we can afford
to have a big wedding.
Nina.
I'll get you out of here
on one condition, Banks.
That you agree to the following.
Now, repeat after me.
I, George Stanley Banks...
I, George Stanley Banks...
promise to pull it together
and act my age. Promise.
promise to pull it together
and act my age.
I will stop hyperventilating, rolling my
eyes, unbuttoning my top collar button.
- I don't unbutton my top collar--
- Oh yeah. No. You mean this bit, with--
- Stop hyperventilating...
- Hyperventilating.
- rolling my eyes, and, uh...
- Unbuttoning.
unbuttoning
my top collar button.
I will stop making faces in general,
and I will definitely stop...
telling everybody I meet
how much this wedding is costing.
I don't tell everyone
how much it costs!
- He told you, right?
- 250 a head.
Oh, well, thanks!
I will try to remember
my daughter's feelings.
And how with every roll of my eyes, I am
taking away a piece of her happiness.
I love you, Nina.
Just repeat the last part
for me, George.
I will try to remember
my daughter's feelings...
- That's right.
- and how with every roll of my eyes...
I am taking away
a piece of her happiness.
I love you too.
Let's go home, okay?
- No!
- Hey, I'm gonna hold ya here!
- Yes! Sweet!
- Come on, Matty. Let's go.
Plan "B," Matty. Plan "B."
Here we go! Hey!
Okay, I got ya! I got ya!
- Midget slam!
- All right!
Annie! Bryan! Look,
you got a present.
Our first present!
I can't believe it.
Oh, our second one
should be here any minute.
- Oh, wow. How do you know?
- Oh, my parents are bringing it over.
- Oh!
- Oh!
Oh, this is, uh, when we give
the presents. Uh, great. Uh, good.
- I'll be right back.
- Where's he goin'?
- Maybe he got a present for you.
- You know about this?
Uh, I haven't got a clue.
- Look at this!
- This is for us? Thank you so much!
Yikes. A whole car.
My dad's gotta see this!
Dad! Dad?
Dad, did you see
what the MacKenzies got us?
It's unbelievable. And you thought
you'd never have a new car.
I know! What's that?
It's nothing. It's just a gift
I was thinking of giving you guys.
You know, it's something you said
you didn't have but you wanted.
Can I see it?
Yeah, you know, it's--
It's not the big,
big gift, of course.
It's a cappuccino maker!
Supposed to be a good one.
That's what they said at the store.
It's, uh, top of the line.
Makes great foam.
I couldn't love anything more.
Goin' to the chapel and we're
- My feelings exactly.
- Gonna get married
Goin' to the chapel and we're
- Gonna get married
- Wow!
Gee, I really love you and we're
Gonna get married
Goin' to the chapel of love
Spring is here
The sky is blue
Whoa, birds all sing
- As if they knew
- No.
Today's the day
We'll say I do
And we'll never
be lonely any more
All right, Mr Banks.
Here you go.
- A 40-long. It's gorgeous
even on the hanger.
- Because we're goin' to the chapel
- Now this is an actual Giorgio Armani,
the real McCoy.
- And we're gonna get married
- Don't ask how I got it,
but here it is.
- Goin' to the chapel
And we're gonna get married
Gee, I really love you
and we're
Gonna get married
Goin' to the chapel of love
Bells will ring
The sun will shine, whoa
I'll be his
- Nina, we have great friends,
you know that?
- And he'll be mine
I mean, these are not
your run-of-the-mill salad bowls.
Theses are primo gifts.
- We'll love until
- As a matter of fact, I am so happy
we have decided to serve...
- The end of time, and we'll never
- the very chic but exponsive seafoot
at our very foshionable wotting.
- Be lonely anymore
- Ah! The beautiful bride! Good news!
You have received another lovely,
too-good-to-be-true silver tea set.
- What's the matter?
- Send it back.
- Come on. What do you mean?
- Daddy, I'm not kidding!
Send them all back.
The wedding's off!
Anne? Annie?
I'm sorry, Dad,
but I'm not gonna marry Bryan.
Okay, okay. Whatever you want
is okay with us.
I feel so awful,
after everything you guys have done.
And now
I have to undo it all.
Don't worry about it. These things
get cancelled all the time.
Your mother and I can
take care of everything.
Okay.
What happened?
- Another girl?
- No.
- Now look at your shirt.
- Don't worry.
No, it wasn't anything like that.
It started out as nothing really.
He gave me a present.
It's our eight-month anniversary
today, and he--
He gave me-- Just look.
He said it was for me,
for our apartment.
Just look.
It's a blender.
Yeah. Exactly.
I mean, I didn't want to act thrown
or anything, but inside I was.
I mean, I thought something
for the apartment. Maybe--
Maybe a new clock or a cool phone
or a great art book or something.
But a blender?
I mean, what is this? 1958?
Give the little wife a blender?
I mean, it scared me, you know.
In terms of his expectations.
Oh, I started to freak out,
and he asked me what was wrong.
And I asked him what a gift like this
was supposed to be telling me.
And he said, "Nothing,"
and I didn't believe him.
And we got into this big fight.
And he said I was overreacting.
And I said, "Why would I overreact?
Nobody in my family overreacts."
And then he came up
with this totally absurd story...
this completely outrageous lie,
and I'm looking at him...
and I'm thinking,
"This man's a liar!"
- What did he lie about?
- Oh...
actually it was
something about you.
Me?
He said the day that you and Mom
went to go visit his folks--
It-- This is just--
This is so ridiculous.
He said that you were snooping
around his-- his dad's desk.
And that you somehow found
his dad's bankbook--
Oh, no, no. First he said you broke
some mirror in their bathroom.
And then you found his dad's bankbook
and you somehow threw it in their pool!
I mean, it's too ridiculous!
The man lies!
Come in!
Annie, Bryan's downstairs.
- I don't want to see him.
- He looks awful.
Good.
Excuse me.
I thought maybe I should help
smooth things over.
So I took Bryan out for a drink.
Thought we could
have a talk, man-to-man.
But as I sat there and listened
to his side of the story...
I realized this was
a golden opportunity.
If I ever wanted to get rid
of Bryan MacKenzie, this was my chance.
You know those banana shakes
she likes to make, right?
Well, that's why I thought
she'd like a blender.
I guess I can see her point. I mean,
a blender does suggest a certain...
1950s reference
to sexual politics, but...
I swear, it never entered
my consciousness at the time.
- I believe you.
- You do?
Would you tell Annie
that for me, Dad?
This was where I was gonna
lower the boom.
But instead, I looked into his
weepy eyes and found my self saying--
- Sure, I'll tell her.
- Oh, good!
'Cause I know whatever you say
she'll believe.
Not only was I not getting rid
of the kid...
I now found myself
talking him into staying.
You know, Bryan,
Annie's a very passionate person.
And passionate people tend
to overreact at time.
Annie comes from a long line
of major overreactors.
Me. I can definitely lose it.
My mother. A nut.
My grandfather.
Stories about him were legendary.
The good news, however,
is that this overreacting...
tends to get proportionately less
by generation.
So, your kids could be normal.
As if that wasn't enough,
I went on.
But on the upside,
with this passion...
comes great spirit
and individuality...
which is probably
one of the reasons you love Annie.
That's what
I love most about her.
That's when it hit me
like a Mack truck.
Annie was just like me,
and Bryan was just like Nina.
They were a perfect match.
Dad, I can't believe
you took him out. What did he say?
I mean, you don't
have to tell me. What?
Honey, I just spent
an hour with Bryan, and...
believe me
when I tell you that...
this gift says nothing about
how he feels about you.
It's just a--
just a thing to put in the kitchen.
He thought you might want to blend
something one day, and that's all.
- And you believe that?
- Completely.
He's-- He's downstairs now. His heart
is breaking. Please go see him.
And also,
that story he told you...
about me and the bankbook
and the swimming pool?
Yeah?
- What?
- It's-- It's true.
- Oh, Bryan.
- Oh, Annie.
Oh.
I am so sorry
about the blender.
And I see your point. It w-- It w--
It was incredibly insensitive of me.
Oh, no, it's okay. I want it.
Oh, it's my first anniversary present.
I'm-- I'm so sorry
about calling you a worm.
- My dad told me.
- That's-- When I thought I was never
gonna see you again, I mean--
- If it wasn't for your father--
- I know. I know.
- I love you.
- You too.
Everything fine now?
Good. I'll just, uh, uh--
- Annie!
- Hi, Bryan. What's up?
- Well, we made it to January.
- Is that for us?
- It was the day before the big day.
- Sure. I'll be out in a sec.
The Farmer's Almanac predicted this week
was going to be the coldest...
L.A. had seen
in over half a century.
But we were so busy,
none of us had time to notice.
Franck! Franck.
Franck, Franck, Franck.
Sure, yes. We'll do the whole--
You like it?
Looks good, yeah.
Right, together.
Left, together.
Right, together.
Left, together.
Right, together.
Left--
Right, together.
Left, together.
Hey, Matty. You're up pretty late,
aren't ya?
Yeah, I know.
I'm just practising.
I wish I didn't have to
walk Mom down the aisle.
Don't worry. You'll be great.
Is it right, together, left
or left, together, right?
Well, let's try it.
Let's see, we go...
right, together,
left, together.
Right, together,
left, together.
Good.
Matty, I'm sorry if I've been
preoccupied lately with this wedding.
- It's okay.
- Yeah, but I have, haven't l?
It's all right.
I understand.
- Yeah, but--
- Yeah, you have.
But I haven't felt
ignored or anything.
Don't worry, Dad.
No permanent damage done.
- Oh, good.
- It's really cute and cozy.
And in a great neighborhood.
You'll see it.
I am really excited.
I've got all this packing to do,
and this room looks so different.
It's gonna be weird,
isn't it?
Just you, me
and Mom here now.
Yeah. Come on.
G'night, pal. Sleep tight.
- Good luck tomorrow, Dad.
- Yeah, you too.
- Annie?
- Yeah?
- G'night.
- G'night, Matty. I love you.
I love you too.
Today I met the boy
I'm gonna marry
He's all I've wanted
all my life and even more
He smiled at me and
gee, the music started playing
"Here Comes The Bride"
when he walked through the door
Today I met the boy
I'm gonna marry
The boy whose life and dream
and love I want to share
For on my hand a band of gold
appeared before me
The band of gold
I always dreamed I'd wear
When we kissed
I felt the sweet sensation
This time it wasn't
just my imagination
Today I met the boy
I'm gonna marry
He's just what I've been waiting for
Oh, yes
With every kiss, oh
"This is it," my heart keeps saying
Today I met
The boy I'm going to marry
- Did I wake you?
- No, no. I was up.
So, what are you doing?
I couldn't sleep.
I just kept thinking about how this was
my last night in my bed, in my house.
Kind of like
my last night as a kid.
I mean, I've lived here
since I was five.
And I feel like I'm supposed
to turn in my key tomorrow.
It was so strange,
packing up my room.
You know how you've always trained me
never to throw anything away.
So, like, I have all these
ratty stuffed animals...
and yearbooks, my old retainer...
all my old magic tricks.
I've actually packed it all.
I just didn't want
to let it go.
I mean, I know I can't stay.
But it's like
I don't want to leave.
Well, that's the thing about life,
is, uh...
the surprises.
The little things that sneak up
on you and grab hold of you.
- It still happens to me.
- Thanks.
- What is this?
- I don't believe it.
- Oh, my God! Talk about surprises.
- It hasn't snowed in L.A.
since I was nine.
Mom's gonna die.
What? What is that face?
No. Nothing. I was--
I was just thinking.
Oh, this is gonna end up
costing you more money.
No.
How I know I'll remember this moment
for the rest of my life.
Whee!
When you live in a city that hasn't
seen snow in 36 years...
it's bound to cause a few problems.
First, we panicked
and brought in extra heaters.
But they were melting
the ice sculptures, so they had to go.
- Right.
- Yeah?
- All right. Back in the truck.
- Yeah.
The florist had to thaw out our
newly planted tulips with a hair dryer.
Franck and Howard shovelled our path
themselves at no extra charge.
- Franck?
- Just keep shovelling! Don't stop!
'Cause they're gonna be here, you know.
And the swans spent the morning
in a lukewarm bath.
Other than that, we were
almost running on schedule.
- Nina, it's after 3:00!
- All I can say is thank God
snow is white.
- It works. You know what I mean?
- It works.
Franck, do you have
that needle and thread?
Here you go, George.
We fix you right up.
- Howard, you better go to the church!
- On my way.
Uh-oh. I bring
the wrong kolor thread.
I assumed you'd be wearing
a black tuxado.
- It is a black tuxado.
- I don't think so, babe.
This tux if nuffy blue.
No doubt about dat. Let me--
What are you talkin' about?
Armani doesn't make a blue tuxedo.
Armani don't also make polyaster.
Franck, where are the cars?
We're supposed to be there by now.
Where are dos cares?
All right. Relax, honey.
Everything's going to be just fine.
At least we know
they can't start without us.
I knew I'd never be able to remember
what Nina wore that day.
But I also knew I'd never forget
the way she looked.
Nina.
Thank you, George.
You shouldn't look this beautiful.
It's not fair to the bride.
- Cars is here!
- Huh?
Matthew, frond and cendre!
- Aw!
- Aw!
Just kidding.
- Oh, no.
- What did you do to your hair, honey?
I gelled it. You don't like it?
N-- Oh, no, no. I think it--
it looks-- yeah-- cool.
- Very debonair, my boy.
- Thank you.
- Okay, we'll go in the first car,
and you and Annie follow.
- Right.
- George.
- Oh, I follow! l-- Anne!
Annie?
I'm ready. Come on in.
- You look beautiful.
- Thanks.
Okay. Let's get
this show on the road.
- We're here!
- Oh! Oh, just look!
- Hi. Oh, Mom.
- Line up, everyone.
- Mother of the bride.
- Oh, George!
Comin' through! Here we come.
Comin' through.
- Left, together, right, together.
- Got it, Dad.
- Let me see that.
- See?
Let's do this. Okay?
I love you.
- I love you too.
- Mother of the bride.
Mother of the bride. We've gotta go.
- George.
- Let's go, everybody. Line up.
It's time. It's time.
Mother of the bride.
Come on, mother of the bride.
Here we go. I'm opening the doors.
Natasha, haven't you peeked enough?
Here we go. Come on. Let's go.
Shh. Okay.
And left, right.
Very nice. Smile now.
Right and left.
Right and very nice and left.
Right. Keep smiling.
And left. Hey.
This was the moment I'd been dreading
for the past six months.
Well, actually,
for the past 22 years.
- Hold on, Dad.
- Annie overwhelmed me.
She was as calm and cool as
I'd ever seen her. Very un-Banks-like.
Okay.
Here you go.
Dearly beloved, we are gathered
here together...
in the presence of family,
friends and loved ones...
for the purpose
of uniting in matrimony--
All I could think of was the part
I had to play.
Then suddenly I went blank. I had
one line, and I couldn't remember it.
When the reverend said,
"Who presents this woman?"...
was I supposed to say, "That's me,"
or was it, "l do"?
- ...Forever hold your peace--
- I couldn't think. I felt every eye...
in the place boring into the back
of my neck, waiting for me to screw up.
- When suddenly, it was upon me.
- And so I now ask...
who presents this woman
in holy matrimony?
I do.
Annie and Bryan, you have come here
today to join your hands--
- "Who presents this woman?"
- Always remember...
- This woman.
- this vow of marriage is most solemn...
- But she's not a woman.
She's just a kid.
- should not be entered into lightly.
- And she's leaving us.
- With a deep realization of its
obligations and responsibilities.
I realized at that moment that I was
never going to come home again...
and see Annie
at the top of the stairs.
Never going to see her again
at our breakfast table...
in her nightgown and socks.
I suddenly realized
what was happening.
Annie was all grown up
and leaving us.
And something inside
began to hurt.
I, Bryan MacKenzie...
I, Bryan MacKenzie...
- take thee, Annie Banks...
- take thee, Annie Banks...
- to be my wedded wife.
- to be my wedded wife.
To love and to comfort
from this day forward.
To love and to comfort
from this day forward.
- I, Annie Banks...
- I, Annie Banks...
take thee, Bryan MacKenzie...
- take thee, Bryan MacKenzie...
- to be my lawful wedded husband.
to be my lawful wedded husband.
To love and to comfort
from this day forward.
To love and to comfort
from this day forward.
The ring, please.
With this ring as a token of my love
and affection, I thee wed.
With this ring as a token of my love
and affection, I thee wed.
Here, sweetie.
With this ring as a token
of my love and affection...
I thee wed.
With this ring as a token
of my love and affection, I thee wed.
By virtue of the authority vested in me,
I now pronounce you husband and wife.
You may kiss the bride.
Well, she did it.
And now, as my son said,
it was time to party.
- Hi, how are you? Good to see you.
Don't you look great?
- Congratulations.
- Wonderful party.
The house was busting at the seams.
Everywhere I looked, there were faces.
Most of which, I might add,
I had never seen before.
- George, I'd like you to meet the
Danish relatives. These are the Prowses.
- Hello!
I met Bryan's Danish relatives,
who thanked me profusely
for flying them over.
- Hi. How are you?
- Everyone was telling me
what a great party it was.
How beautiful the house looked.
They loved the flowers...
the hors d'oeuvres, the swans.
We even seemed to be getting away
with only two parking attendants.
Everything was running smoothly,
except for one small detail.
- Annie's very favorite uncle.
This is Ben Banks.
- I still hadn't kissed the bride.
- Congratulations.
- Where's Annie?
- Annie. She's having her picture taken.
- Hi, Ben.
- How are you, George?
Yes. Ben's been
back in Connecticut.
Okay, kids. Look at each other.
Very nice. Now, turn towards me, please.
I'm sorry, sir. All traffic
has to go through the front door.
Doris! It's so good to see you!
How are you?
- Oh, could I have one of those?
- Sorry. Just sold my last one.
Hey, a button. It's navy.
This must be yours.
We're moving into the tent now.
Dinner is served.
This way to the tent, please.
- Uh, let's--
I think we have to go back in--
- Ann-- Annie!
As well, l--
It was unbelievable.
I had never seen a line form so fast.
It was as if they knew
what the food was costing me.
Finally,
I made it into the tent.
I was ready to relax and taste
the food I'd been hearing about...
for the past five months, when--
Dad! Dad! There's some cops out front,
and they want to talk to you!
- Cops?
- I've heard. We'll handle dis togather.
I got George. Ve're on our vay.
Come on, George.
Pick it up. Pick it up.
One-Adam-seventy, roger.
Standby.
Let me handle this, George.
Give me your wallet.
Stop!
- Adam-30, disregard.
- What is this?
- See, Cameron? I told ya.
- Wow!
Just try to smile. That's all.
- This your house?
- Me?
Yeah, you. In the blue tux.
- Yes. Yes, it is.
- Do you have a permit for parking
200 cars in this street?
Vell, the-- the problem is, Officer,
dat we are supposed to haf
four parking attandants.
- Uh, but two got de flu.
- Well, you better get...
all these cars off this street
before the fire marshall gets here.
Fine, fine. Any sugjoostions
what we do with them?
I don't care what you do with them.
Just have them off this street
within the next 30 minutes.
Vill do, sir. Ve'll take care of it.
You're not to worry, okay?
- Franck? Where are you? The cake--
- Uh, uh, George. They need me inside.
Uh, the big moment.
The keck is being wheeled out!
- I-- I-- I'll handle this.
- I'm on my vay!
Where're we gonna get
a couple extra drivers?
Hey, baby, I'm your man
Turn around, you'll see
I may not stand tall
and I don't talk neat
But I'm gonna
win your love for me
Yes!
Watch out, baby, here comes your man
Lookin' cool to me
Whoa!
By the way,
great wedding, Mr Banks.
And don't worry!
I didn't eat anything!
- That makes two of us.
- I got sunshine
On a cloudy day
- Where is he?
- I don't know.
When it's cold outside
I've got the month of May
I guess you'll say
What can make me feel this way
- It's my girl
- My girl, my girl
I will feel aglow
Just thinkin' of you
And the way you look
Tonight
- I know.
- Oh, but you're lovely
With your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft
There is nothing for me
But to love you
Just the way you look
Tonight
Just the way you look
- Tonight
- Well, I had to admit...
the wedding appeared to be
a complete success.
Now, all I needed to make me happy
was a dance with the bride.
- It's time.
- Ladies and gentlemen...
in just a few moments,
Mrs Annie Banks-MacKenzie will be
tossing her bouquet in the foyer.
- And then she's off to Hawaii.
- Let's go in there. Oh, sorry.
- Excuse me. Thank you.
- This I was not going to miss.
- Comin' through.
- The mob was headed
through the living room...
- so I decided to take a shortcut.
- Sorry.
- Excuse me. Thank you.
- Great wedding, George!
- Had a lovely time.
- Thanks. Excuse me.
- Great party, George.
Hurry up!
Whoa! Ay-yi-yi-yi!
Whoo!
- Where's my dad?
- I-- I-- I don't know.
- I haven't seen him.
- Watch it. Behind you.
Excuse me.
- Should I throw it?
- Yeah! Yes!
He missed it.
- Bye-bye!
- Let us through. Let us--
Bye!
Goodbye, Charlie!
Bye, Bryan!
- Bye!
- Bye!
- Thanks.
- Bye!
- Have fun!
She was gone.
My Annie was gone...
and I was too late
to say goodbye.
When the last guest was gone...
and the last glass of champagne
had been drunk...
we surveyed the damage.
It's funny how empty a house
can suddenly get, isn't it?
Yeah. I'm sorry you didn't get a chance
to say goodbye to her, George.
Oh, that's all right.
But, you know, I think she's going
to be really happy.
Oh, yeah. Sure.
- Hello?
- Dad!
Hi! Where are you?
At the airport.
Our plane's about to take off...
but I couldn't leave
without saying goodbye.
Thank Mom for everything, okay?
And Dad...
I love you.
I love you very much.
I love you too, sweetheart.
Thanks for calling.
And have a great honeymoon.
Thanks. I will. Bye.
Someday
When I'm awfully low
- When the world is cold
- That was Annie.
- Oh.
- I will feel aglow
Just thinkin' of you
And the way you look
Tonight
Oh, but you're lovely
With your smile so warm
And your cheeks so soft
There is nothin' for me
But to love you
Just the way you look
Tonight