In ancient times,
there was the legend of the Ferryman.
He took the dead
to be judged in the afterlife,
and his prize
was a coin in their mouth.
If anyone tried to cheat death,
they'd also be cheating the Ferryman.
There could be no escape, for
the Ferryman would hunt them forever.
Turn the boat around, old man.
Take me back to land.
I beg you! I cannot!
I cannot navigate the reef in this!
To go back is insane.
I'll show you insane!
Pay me!
Forgive me!
You left me no choice.
You gave me no choice.
Forgive me!
You're wrong!
But I forgive you.
No! Please!
No!
What do you think is happening?
You think that hurts?
Not as much as this is going to hurt!
No!
You want your payment?
Here's your fucking payment!
Here you are!
I'll never pay you!
Everyone still alive?
First time for everything, I suppose.
Oh look, they're on the field!
They think it's all over! It is now!
That there is Big Dave, your skipper.
And sadly, the love of my life.
- Me Roger Milla...
Hey, baby!
That'll do, you little pikies!
My treacle's here.
Lucky you didn't squash one of them!
I missed you! Who we got here, then?
- Big Dave!
Big by name, big by nature.
And you are? - Chris. - Howdy, Chris!
My girlfriend, Tate.
- I'm Tate. - Nice to meet you!
Look at you in your dress!
Aren't you pretty! Cracker, son!
Come here, don't be shy. - I'm Kathy.
- Nice to meet you. - This is...
Zane.
- Zane. Kiwis?
We do these tours in New Zealand,
but we never get any of you on board.
But they say you lot can fix anything.
Is that right? - Just about.
- Come on, babe, let's have you.
Don't forget your bags, this ain't
the Ritz. - Hands-on experience!
It's alright.
Six days, it said in the brochure.
- So...
Tell me, are you one of those
New Zealand tribesmen?
You know, the Maoris?
- Maori? Yes. - Really?
Go on, say something in Maori!
Wow, that's beautiful.
- Come on, pick your feet up!
Come on, get it up!
Good job,
those shoes are waterproof, mate!
But they're not coming on my boat.
What?
- Good one, Kiwi. Alright, love?
Let's make like a Catholic
and pull out.
Rolex?
Yeah, he's my watchdog.
So you behave yourself.
You kids up for some adventure?
- I'm up for anything Chris is up for.
Good.
Welcome aboard the Dionysus!
Respect her, and we'll love you
like we love her.
It's a six-day sail from here to Fiji,
and there's only water in between.
Hopefully we'll become good friends.
But don't think it's going to be
a friendly stroll in Hyde Park.
It's going to be hard work.
The only duty you won't have
is the cooking.
That belongs to Suze. If you value
your lives, stay out of the galley.
All the cooking will be done for us?
- Yeah, all the cooking.
Yes, here we go.
Yeah, Baby! - What is this?
- Music! I love this Kiwi shit!
Hey!
- What?
What'd you say to a little drinky?
- "Hello, drinky! Any chance?"
Right on! This is the kind
of experience I can handle.
It just so happens that we got
a special request from your man there.
So, what are we celebrating?
Come on, spit it out!
I just... I thought...
We should set off in style.
Right, okay.
Here's to good times.
- Good times! - Good times!
I'm feeling good about this, girly!
Remember:. No fishy, no eaty!
What have you done here?
- I think I got something here.
Hey! Go, Chris!
God damn!
- You alright? - Oh God!
I got it, bro!
Take over.
- Honey, are you okay?
First aid.
You're better at dealing with this.
- This is big, Suze.
I think it's a shark.
- A shark? Wow!
Have you seen a shark before?
- No.
Excellent! We're eating shark!
Zane! Whack it with this!
Whack it with this!
Shark! Whack the fucker!
Dave, give us a hand here!
- What's the matter? You struggling?
Give us a hand!
- Do you want a hand?
Do you?
- Give us a hand.
That's how we South Londoners do it!
Get her over. - Look at this.
Here you go.
Go on, get it open.
- Me?
We're not going to eat that, are we?
- Yeah, shark's good eating.
You've not lived
until you've had shark. Open it.
There's a good boy!
- That's disgusting!
Oh, beautiful!
- Go on!
Take that, babe.
Fuck me!
Looks professional.
D'you take a first aid course?
- Something like that.
She's a nurse.
Lucky for me, right honey?
Even I can stick a bandage on, Chris.
I'm sorry,
she doesn't mean to be so rude.
She's right.
I'm not much of a nurse anymore.
So...
The real question of the day:.
Where did the arm come from?
Maybe a drug deal gone wrong
with the modern-day pirates?
Nothing so exciting.
Life's cheap
on some of the smaller fishing boats.
When someone dies, most times
they throw them overboard.
Don't want to take up
valuable space in the freezer.
There's a cheery thought.
You know your way around a boat.
Grew up on one.
For a holiday you come on a boat?
- This is a yacht.
That's quite a scar you got there.
As a teenager
he got drunk and fell on a stove.
That's hideous!
Can't you do something,
Iike get surgery or something?
I could, but it's part of who I am.
If something like that happened to me,
I'd totally kill myself.
Totally kill yourself?
Cheers.
He's coming.
You have to make him pay.
It's okay, baby.
Come on, lie down. Lie down.
I'll take care of you.
I got you, babe.
We're on holiday, remember.
Morning, skip.
- Morning, son. Sleep well?
Yeah, good, mate.
Strange weather for this time of year.
You ain't seen nothing yet.
Have a look over there.
We've gotta go through that.
Morning!
- Morning. - Morning.
Would you?
- Would you?
Morning, Chris.
Morning.
- Morning.
Is it always like this?
- Never.
Kiwi, take the wheel for a minute.
Doesn't look good.
I like the way ya'll talk. You make
everything sound like a question.
Do we?
Dave?
I need you to listen to this.
I was surprised. I haven't heard
Morse code for years.
It's a distress signal.
- Have you tried search and rescue?
Yeah, we're the closest vessel
for a hundred miles or so.
Can't we pretend
not to hear the radio?
You're joking, right?
What if it was you in trouble?
You'd want someone to come.
- But I'm not in trouble!
If we don't go, someone might die.
They might need medical assistance.
I'm not a nurse anymore,
so leave me out of it.
Look, we've booked a luxury suite
in Fiji,
and if we miss one just night,
I expect you to reimburse us.
Someone may be dying,
but God forbid you miss your spa bath!
It's our boat, our decision,
and we're gonna help.
No, that is...
Roly, what've you done?
You'll be alright, don't worry.
It's alright.
Can't see shit through this fog.
Dave! Hard up!
Tell me
next time you're gonna do that!
What is it? What's the matter?
- It's a boat.
Where?
- There.
Oh yeah.
We're not getting any closer, though.
She might be stuck on a reef.
I can't risk it.
You spend a lot of time
on a rowing-machine, eh, bro?
You sure this is the boat
that sent the SOS? - I don't know.
What's that smell?
- I don't know.
Hey, shine the torch over here.
What's in there?
- I don't know. Have a look.
God. damn it!
You got yours coming!
- Yeah, right.
A dead bird.
What does that mean?
It's a bad omen.
Fuck...
Is that still a bad omen?
I don't know.
Let's check the rest of the boat
and get out of here. - I hear you.
I don't like this boat.
Me neither.
- I smell like bird.
There's nothing here.
So where'd the Morse code come from?
God damn!
Help me.
Help me!
It's okay, mister. It's okay.
- Help me.
Please...
- You're gonna be alright.
We'll get you some water.
- Yes...
It's okay.
-Yes. - It's gonna be okay.
Come here, old man.
Give us that blanket. Take this coat.
You're a good man.
- There you go.
Take that, babe.
- Thank you.
There you go. You in?
- Ah, yes.
Thank you, yes. - You're welcome.
- Yes, yes...
That's better.
How many are you?
- Six.
Six.
- We're seven now.
Yes... six of us...
and then the storm came up
out of nowhere.
Down below is water everywhere.
We go up on the deck...
The waves beating and bashing,
and smashing us into things.
And one by one...
One by one they go.
Everyone?
- All except me.
I thank you all.
You saved my life.
- You're welcome.
I thank you.
So, it's up to you and me.
Alright...
I think I win.
- You think?
You certainly have...
I win again.
You win again. My deal.
You and Zane are together?
You should marry her. Never let
a good thing run away from you.
That's the smartest thing
that's been said this whole trip.
Once they're gone, they're gone.
Sometimes when a woman leaves,
she takes happiness with her.
Sometimes when she leaves
she leaves happiness behind.
It's nice to see you smiling.
You are a terrible bluffer.
- Maybe I want you to think that.
Okay, I'm going to bed. Honey?
Sure, honey.
Okay, maybe we should
make this a little more interesting?
You alright?
Dave!
How long have you had this lump?
I don't know.
Is it bad?
Not good, then?
I'm not a doctor. You'd need a biopsy.
- A cancer!
My Adena,
she used to look at me like that.
You remind me of her.
So...
I must die.
I chose the wrong body.
I want a drink.
I'll get you one.
Yes!
I want to be alone.
This is mighty comfortable.
I've got to wait for these to dry.
I'm not in the mood.
You wanted to last night.
- Well, a lot's happened since then.
Fish guts, severed fingers,
all fog, no sunshine,
no privacy, and a dirty, smelly sailor
who's a complete sexist.
Hello?
- He's funny. He's a real character.
When you said we'd go on a romantic
cruise, this isn't what I had in mind.
It's an adventure,
it's something different for us.
It was supposed to be romantic!
Something special.
It has been special.
Well it's not special enough.
Not yet, you malaka!
Did you say something?
Not yet.
Do you want a smoke?
Sure.
You okay?
Yeah... it's strong stuff.
Coromandel skunk.
- l...
I got it all wrong with your scar.
It isn't horrible at all.
In fact I find it kinda sexy.
That's the way I saw you looking at me
on the pier.
What?
Lots of men look at me like that.
Chris used to look at me like that.
Like what?
Like they want to kiss me.
I don't want to kiss you.
Are you sure?
Really?
I said no.
You okay?
What have you done, you bastard!
Chris! Chris!
What's going on?
What've you done, you mad bastard?
He stabbed him!
Chris, get me towels and blankets.
I need plastic, a plastic bag.
- Screw you! - Screw you!
Breathe, Zane.
- What are you doing?
Oh God!
Dave... - Don't fucking "Dave" me!
You don't know me! - What you doing?
Get off my fucking boat!
- What're you doing?
What's he done to you?
- Nothing. It's Zane. He's done
something to Zane.
Get the first aid box!
First aid box!
Is he gonna be alright?
What do you need?
- Don't worry about it.
Sort the boat out,
we're fucking out of here.
But the fog...
- Fuck the fog, we're out of here!
Don't leave me alone.
I love you so much. - Chris!
Sort this out. - Yeah.
- Then we're fucking out of here.
Leave the knife, it's gotta stay in!
Here.
Keep pressure on the wound,
or he'll bleed to death. - Where?
Where?
You saw it, right?
He had a fucking knife in his chest.
- I don't know. Honey?
I don't know.
I didn't... I don't know!
He had a knife in his chest!
I'm okay.
Help me up. I'm okay.
I love you so much.
I love you so much...
Hey, hey, hey...
- I love you so much...
It's okay.
Everything's gonna be okay.
You went too far.
There were three blokes on board.
He stabbed Zane!
- He didn't!
Three of you could've taken him out.
- He fucking stabbed him!
I don't understand how you could
have that hole and there's no blood.
It just catched on my clothes.
I'm alright.
Dave's going to head
to the nearest island.
There's no point carrying on now.
I was worried about you.
I heard you scream.
Think we'll be alright
without the equipment?
It's a full moon. Once that fog lifts
it'll be as clear as day.
Adventure tourism, I suppose.
Well it ain't the Love Boat,
that's for sure.
After all that's happened?
That's not me.
That's not me.
That's not me!
You're not me!
Zane?
Gentle, Zane!
Kathy!
Zane!
Stop it!
Stop it!
- Shut up!
Get off me!
What is wrong with you?
Shut up!
- What's wrong with you?
Fucking piece of meat!
Chris, help!
- Get out! - What's going on?
What is going on?
I don't... - Get out!
- Turn it in, the pair of you!
There's something wrong with him.
- What?
It's none of your business.
Look at his scar!
It's the stress.
His scar has gone!
I've had enough of this.
You make it hard to love you.
Too hard, I think.
The scar...
- I know, I know.
I think I'm losing my mind.
She's not well.
I'll tell you what we're gonna do:.
She can stay in our cabin tonight.
We'll see how she is in the morning.
Go on, girl.
- Come on.
Come with me. You're alright.
- Go on.
Don't worry about anything.
We'll look after you. - I'll be in
in a minute. Don't leave her.
Hey, fucking calm down!
Remember, you're on holiday.
Look at me. Are you alright?
I'm alright.
- You sure?
I'm sure.
Are we sweet?
- Yeah.
We sweet?
- Yeah.
Sweet.
- Alright.
What? What?
Just fuck off, Yankee Boy!
You just watch yourself!
Just watch yourself!
Bye-bye.
- Yeah, whatever.
Fuck!
Fucker!
I like to think of them
as him and me. The cockatoo
and the lion.
He likes to look at them
while we're in bed.
Sometimes he makes me
wear their away strip.
There really is something wrong
with Zane.
What makes you think...
that you're not a nurse anymore?
I mean...
it's not like you can suddenly
stop being a nurse, is it?
As far as I can understand it,
it must be like...
a sort of calling.
Kathy, what's wrong, love?
There was this little girl who died.
It was my fault.
I made a decision,
and I made it for the wrong reasons.
Zane thought if we went on holiday
I'd get over it. - And will you?
You want my professional opinion?
No.
I'll never be over it.
I'll get you a cuppa.
I brought your clothes.
And I thought you could use these.
Sleeping pills.
I have them for the plane.
One pill
will make you sleep for four hours.
Two pills, and you'll
sleep through World War Three.
Your time will come.
You will suffer.
Burn!
Fuck!
Fucking thing!
What's the matter with it?
So why the anchor?
- Where do you want me to start?
The sounder's out
and the nav system's down. - So?
I'm not sailing blind in fog.
We'll have to wait till the morning.
We need to keep moving.
Kathy needs help.
I said we're gonna have to wait
til the morning,
and hopefully the fog will lift.
- You don't get it? It won't lift!
Listen, Kiwi, don't turn this into
a 'who's got a bigger cock?' contest,
'cause you'll lose.
I know you're worried about Kathy,
but the only one
who gives me orders is her. Got it?
Listen, Kiwi,
do yourself a favour and jog on
before you catch a cold.
Go on.
Fucking fog!
Say hello to me
and give me a little kiss.
That's what you want, isn't it?
Yes... good boy.
Oh God, Tate!
It's your insecurity, dammit!
I'm not looking at other women!
- It is not my insecurity!
Suze's giving me such a hard time!
I don't know why she attacks me.
- God, now you're blaming her?
Good boy! You're a good boy!
Want a cuddle?
Come on, let's have a cuddle.
I'm not gonna hurt you.
There's a problem with your doggy.
- What?
What?
Zane?
Rolex?
What's the matter? Rolex?
What've you done?
- That's my knife.
Get out!
What's going on? Rolex!
Dave! Let me in!
Dave, where the fuck are you?
Dave! Stop it! Stop it!
I'm coming!
What is it? - They've got Rolex!
- Open the fucking door!
Let me in!
Open the fucking door! Now!
Go in there! Get the fucker!
- Get out of the way!
What's going on?
Fucking crazy!
- What?
Look at your goddamn dog!
Kathy's right, he's fucking nuts!
- What've they done to you?
God, Zane!
- Is he still alive?
Yeah, I think so.
Good. I'm gonna kill him
for what he's done to the boy.
It was him!
Stay the fuck down!
Stay down, you shit!
Dave, we've gotta get moving!
- Not until I've sorted this mess out.
Well, sort this fucking mess out then!
I'll get Kathy, alright?
She's the nurse.
Where you fucking going with that?
- It's alright! You're right.
Just get her!
Okay.
Hi, honey.
Shit,
what happened to you?
What was all that fighting?
Zane and I fought.
Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm alright.
Chris, I need to tell you something.
I know you think I'm perfect,
but I'm not.
I'm all fucked up inside,
and I can't have children.
If we're gonna get married,
I need to be honest with you.
It's alright, honey.
Why would I want to marry you?
Why marry someone so ugly?
Do you think...
Do you think I'm ugly?
You are! You're ugly inside-out!
How can you say that to me?
Oh, honey...
The horror!
No, I'm not! I'm not ugly!
You're fucking... pathetic,
you fucking asshole!
You're not a man, you're a coward!
You faggot!
Are you finished?
Come on, honey. Don't be like that.
You don't mean that.
It's alright.
You know what you need?
That's what you need. That help?
Don't pick him up!
You'll hurt him!
- I have to take him...
Dave, you're gonna hurt him!
I have to take him. It's alright, boy.
Daddy's gonna fix it.
You fucking little prick!
What do you think, honey?
Do I look fat in this?
Honey...
I love you very, very much.
I'm gonna be back soon.
No!
Big Dave!
Want a drink?
Why don't you just fuck off?
Come on, don't be like that.
Have a drink, it's been a hard day.
Suit yourself.
Broken back, huh?
How the fuck could you know?
Did that hurt?
Did that hurt?
See, I don't need you anymore.
That's what you gotta understand.
You know, women
are much easier to control.
You're weak.
I'm gonna have so much fun with her!
I'm gonna have so much fun with her!
Her she comes now!
Howdy, Suze! Dave's hurt.
God damn it!
So pretty.
Dave, where are you going?
Where you going? What're you doing?
No, no. That's my property.
That's my property.
Come on, give me a hand here.
Do-si-do with your partner.
You're a heavy sucker. Goddamn!
Now, you listen up. You listen here.
No, listen.
This is my boat now.
These are my rules.
The only person I take orders from...
Well, that's me.
Man overboard!
Come on, Roly!
Come on, you can do it!
Come on now!
Rolex, your time's up.
Bye-bye, Roly!
Shit!
God damn! You're a heavy sucker!
What's that I feel?
You getting cute back there with me?
Howdy, Suze! Get some beauty sleep,
'cause you're looking mighty fine!
I've got a little job for you.
You gotta show me
how to drive the boat.
- Why are you doing this?
He's left me no choice.
Who?
- Him!
He's been chasing me for
thousands of years. - Where's Dave?
He's dead. Died a coward.
But he did say
that he wanted me to tell you
that he loved you very, very much.
I'm gonna show you fuck all!
I think you are, 'cause otherwise...
over he goes!
Come on now, Suze.
I've killed many, many people.
His life means nothing to me.
No! - But if I kill him,
his blood is on your hands.
No!
No? Fine, I'll kill him.
- No, no!
Alright, I'll do it!
Alright, alright...
Now you're gonna help me.
Or next I throw Kathy, right?
And this is from Dave.
Well, come on now!
Come on!
Wakey, wakey!
Alright, you stay and get some sleep.
I'm gonna go and see Kathy.
I think she likes me.
Chris!
- Leave.
Why? Why would you want her
when you can have me? - I told you.
I don't want you.
- Why? How can you say that?
Very easily. It goes like this:.
Fuck off!
Is this what you want?
I've had a thousand women...
Iike you.
But women like her...
They're rare. They're precious.
Women like you...
You're disposable.
That's for killing my Dave!
What've you done?
What've you done to my Chris?
Give that to me! Give me that!
Oh, honey...
I'm so sorry.
- It's alright.
I'm so sorry.
It's gonna be alright.
- I forgive you, baby.
I forgive you. It's alright.
You missed, you cunt!
When I was in that body
it was very painful.
But there is a greater pain.
Look in his pocket.
He was going to ask you!
But something
must've made him think twice.
No, no! No!
Oh, look how beautiful it is on you!
It's just what you've always wanted.
Look how beautiful you are.
You won't make me cry.
You can't make me cry.
Honey, it's so beautiful!
This body is a good body.
I want to enjoy this body.
No, no!
- You like that?
Oh yeah, you like it!
You like to watch?
No, no!
You fucking pervert!
You fucking bitch!
Oh God!
I've had a busy day.
Sleep now.
Rescue.
Kathy...
- But you're dead.
We're all here now.
The living and the dead. - lmogen?
How?
Because of him. He's coming.
I hope you have your obolus.
My obolus?
He can't take those he seeks
unless they pay him.
The bad man is going to try
and kill you, Kathy.
But you can beat him...
with this.
You have to make him pay.
I'll be back for you,
my pretty Adena.
I underestimated you.
You're not the only one
that's hard to kill.
What are you?
I move through bodies.
I take who I want.
You think you can fucking stop me?
I won't miss this time!
Fucking bitch!
Kathy, don't be frightened. It's me.
It's me, love.
Listen to me.
It's me, love.
Zane?
Is that you?
I love you, Kathy.
How did this happen?
The knife gives you the power
to swap bodies, to cheat death.
He swapped for mine.
Tate, don't shoot!
It's me, Zane!
I can't explain it.
It's Zane.
I'm Zane.
- What d'you mean?
I'm trapped in this body.
Where are the others?
They're dead.
All of them.
Even Kathy?
I'm sorry.
How did it happen?
He killed them all,
so I had to kill him.
I am so tired.
You have to make the boat go.
You have to make it work.
We have to make it back to land.
This whole thing's been a nightmare.
I can't.
Please help me!
Please!
Here's the gas. Now what?
You'll have to do it.
I'm too weak.
No...
- You want to die again, man?
Stop it! Stop it!
Now you think you can take me on?
I'm not afraid of anybody!
That's bullshit.
You're afraid of death.
Aren't you?
Aren't you?
That's mine!
Give it back!
You don't know what it is!
Yes, I do, and I will fucking drop it!
If you drop it, I'll kill him.
If you drop it, I'll kill him.
If you kill him, I will drop it.
He's here. He's found you
after all this time, hasn't he?
Shut up!
You give that back!
- You come and get it!
I'll kill you both.
I don't want to drop it.
I want you to show me how to use it.
What do you mean?
I want to come with you.
To live in a world without death.
I've seen enough of it.
I want to feel alive again.
Show me.
- Why should I believe you?
When I fuck,
I want to feel alive, not dead.
You show me that.
I will give you anything you want
just to feel that.
Anything.
Anything?
Everything.
Kathy, no!
- Shut up, old man.
Burn!
You fucking bitch!
Payment.
Your time will come.
You'll suffer...
They are the ones you took.
They've been waiting for you,
Iittle spirit.
Wait, wait.
Just wait.
Take your clothes off.
You first.
Let's have a shower.