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Finding Neighbors (2013)
- I guess I've been asleep
for most of my life. Oh, there were moments of clarity, flashes, snapshots in time. But overall, a long slide through dreamland. But wait. That's me. I do remember that and that. Those were good times. The artist as a young man. The world was my oyster. But, you know, I wondered about it, even then the success, the adulation. Was it real? Did I deserve it? Or was I an imposter? I mean, I did the work. Well, I did some work. But when it all fell away, it was almost a relief, a validation of my suspicions about myself. Then what are you left with when all that dries up? Alcohol? Women? I went there, big time. It seemed harmless at first. Then I almost lost it all, everything, even my lovely wife, Mary. Ask her. She'll tell you. I miss it. She knows I do. The glory days. So when the guys next door rented out their guest house to Mary's pal Sherrie, I can't say that I didn't notice. I mean, come on. But around here, it seems like everyone's got their issues, even me. Because, I admit it, sleep, it can be nice. - Tucker, it's Warren. So what happened to the deadline? To say we need to talk is an understatement. - Can you get that? Sam? - Is this yours? - It looks like it. - We heard you out there. - Where? - Outside the window. You degenerate. Next time, we turn you in. - What was that? - Um, the guy from next door brought back our flashlight. - Oh, he borrowed it? - Not exactly. Is this ours? - I don't know. Ooh, I got to go. I'm late. Bye. - Here's your fucking flashlight. - Hey, watch your language. - This is ours. You think I was spying? What's wrong with you? - Is there something wrong with us? - Don't do that. You're not baiting me. I got plenty of gay friends, and I'm not putting up with it from you or your associate. - One, two, three. One, two, three. One, two, three. - Hey. - What you doing? - Nothing. I'm just driving home. - Can I tell you again how much I love this place? - Oh, I'm so glad. Hey, what about the hot Italian guy? - He's still hot. - Yeah? Like a meatball sandwich, huh? - Meaty and sweaty and - Okay, all right, got it. Can't wait to meet him. Sam. Sam, wewe're gonna be late. - She's my sister, so... - She's done a really good job. - You one of the staff here? - Oh, my wife. Just recently. - Congratulations. - She just renewed her license. - The one with the orange? - Mm-hmm. - Everyone seems to really like her. - I'm Sam. - Mike. - What's your connection here? - Senior Therapist. I retire in two months. - Good for you. - Thanks. - Although I don't know if I'd ever personally use that word retirement. A lot of people would say I'm retired already. Nothing much would change, so... Are you looking forward to - Did you have a good time? - It's not really my crowd. - Yeah, what's your crowd? - Good point. You? - I did. I had a nice time. - You're sure you're okay with it, going back to work? - Oh, Sam, come on. I'm working, and I'm excited. - Come on. Don't be stupid. - Don't insult me. - Things won't always be so good. - You think I don't know that? - So appreciate it. - I need more. - Than a roof over your head? - You know what I'm talking about. You know exactly! - But we're doing fine. We're doing so well. - "So well" falls very short. - Tucker, it's Warren. I'm taking some real heat here. They're gonna kick it over to legal. I can't protect you, not this time. - Sam, I thought you said you were gonna call him back. - Oh, I did. I, um, I left him a message. - Legal? - He exaggerates. He's an agent. - All right, have a good day. - You too. - Hi. I came to apologize. - Don't worry about it. - That flashlight could have been there for a while. The batteries were dead. Maybe we heard a skunk. I'm on my way to the post office, but to make amends, may I buy you a coffee? - Jane. Hi, I'm Mary Tucker. Do you want to come on in? Okay, I'm gonna step back in my office. You come in when you're ready. - So you're the wife, like me? - Well, I'm not sure I would describe it like that. - No, no, no, of course not. - But Paul would. And the crazy thing... I have no idea how I arrived here. Paul, Paul has a job. Paul has a life. - You don't have a life? - I suppose I do, but... boring. - What's your thing? - Literature. Critical studies. But my dream... photography, fine art. I'll own a gallery someday. - That's pretty specific. Did you study it? - No, but I've got applications everywhere. Paul has friends in high places, but he needs me at home. But enough about me. What about you that you can be at the house so much? - Oh, I stay pretty busy. - And if you don't mind my asking... - I write. - How exciting. - Graphic novels. - Anything I might have seen? - Well, my first, some years ago, was called Grand Central. - Oh, my God. Sam Tucker? What happened? - What? - You know what they say, Never meet your heroes. - That doesn't sound good. - You were a chapter of my dissertation. I devoured you. Until Bluebird. - Ha, fair enough. - So what are you working on now? - Truthfully? - Of course. - Nothing. - I don't understand. - I'm kind of stuck right now. Howie sits. - Howie? - My protagonist. - So let's talk about it. - Talk? - Of course. - Um, excuse me. Hello. - Hey, how's your day going? - Good. - Yeah, what are you doing? - Slogging along. - What's that noise? - I came down to the crossing. - With your laptop? - Yeah. - Does that battery work? - I plugged it in. - You sound weird. - Will you stop saying that? Good night. - Night. Okay, Howie, give it up. You got anything? - Oh. - Today we're making peppered pork with a cognac pan sauce. So let's start with our fresh ingredients, a mlange of peppercorns, fennel, garlic, vegetable oil, sea salt, and a flawless 5-pound pork butt. - Oh. Ah. - Oh, yeah, yeah. - Oh, yeah. Oh! Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. - It's Warren. So they did it. It's with legal. They're gonna sue. They want your advance back and now damages on top. You could have prevented this any number of ways. I'd appreciate any kind of goddamn response. - So what's this about, Sam? Do you like what you see? - I have no idea how to answer that. - You feeling a little funny in your pants? Sam? What are you doing in there? - Hey, Tucker. The usual? - Make it a double. - You okay, man? - Yeah, you know. I just woke up. - That's the life. - Found it. The dissertation. "After his first two works were largely overlooked, "Samuel Tucker began to fear that there was no appreciation "for the serious artist "in a culture obsessed with constant stimulation. "So the agenda for the third book, Bluebird Sky, "a collaboration with then novice Andrew Koch, "was to dumb it down and to incorporate "humorous reportage on contemporary society "along with more broadly drawn characters. "The novel was overshadowed by the derivative motion picture "which opened to mixed reviews, "but they attracted a crass mass-market audience, which was not at all the kind of following Tucker coveted." - Wait a minute. You make me sound... elitist. - Hello. Did you meet the actors? - I refused to go to the set. - You dolt. - It was sophomoric. - Parts were so funny. The miniature golf scene, come on. - Fine. I love miniature golf. - Shit. Now what? - Like the nice man that you are, you wait for my turn. - Yeah. - What the hell? - I thought you were good at this. - You know, Paul and I have such a hard time making friends. - How did you meet? - Online. - How long has it been? - Two years, a month, four days. - And you hit a rough patch. - I'm holding on to someone else. - Who? - My darling, Jack. Now the bastard sends an email. - Hey. - Wow. - When was the last time I told you how much I appreciate you? - I can't remember. - That's exactly what I thought. Peppered pork. - Nice. Looks like you're enjoying yourself. They're good. - You know what? I am. I had a pretty good day. - How much have you had? - There's the bottle. Check it out. - Sorry. Can I help? - Suit yourself. - I'll set the table. - Hey. - Hey, were you home today? - I was. - Did you notice anything? - What do you mean? - At our house. - Uh, no. - Sam's acting weird. There was this lip gloss. - That is weird. - Yeah, and two tea cups. - Hmm. - Passionate Peach. That is not something I would use. - So it wasn't you. - Well, I did come by for a beer. - A beer? - Mar, Sam, he seems so depressed. He's at that age where he wants to shake it while he can, make hay, wild oats, you know, or at least feel like he could. Can he? - That's really personal. Of course he can. - I'll be honest. I've thought about it. I have. - Thought about what? - Sex. - With my husband? - Come on. It's just a fantasy. - Okay, you know what? Forget about it. Clearly I can see this was a mistake. - Why? - You're still a mess. - Bon apptit. - Cheers. - Did something happen at work? - No, work's fine. It's good, actually. Are you depressed? - Do I look depressed? - You do have some of the symptoms. - Okay. - All right, look. Here's the deal. Is there something that you need to tell me? I mean, I don't know. Is something going on? - No. - Are you sure? What's this? - Oh, that. It's, um, you know, Jeff. - Jeff? - Next door. - Is that the truth? - Of course it's the truth. - And Sherrie? - Yeah. I mean... she stopped by. - Why? - I don't know. She was just doing her thing. - Yeah? What were you doing? - Come on. I mean, there's flirtation there, of course. I admit it, but it's flattering, nothing more. Are you okay? - I don't know. Am I? - It's harmless. - I'm not hungry. - Well, that went well. - Hi. - Hi. - Today's the 15th. - It's the 16th over here. - I can't wait to see you tomorrow. - Me too. Well, I was just leaving the apartment, Sherrie. I'm sorry. You know, so much to do before I leave. - That's okay. Then I'll see you tomorrow. - Ciao. - Ciao. - So can we talk when I get home tonight? - Absolutely. - All right. I got to go. - Well, skedaddle. - So have a good day. Hey, Sam, I mean that. - You too. - How are you doing today? Mostly... I just hate you. - What do you hate about me? Okay. I like your chain. I noticed it earlier. But it's broken. What does that mean? - Freedom. - It was groundbreaking, in regards to the style and the kind of stories you told. - Drover Boy? It was about a cattle drive in the Australian Outback. - Such a sweeping, romantic canvas. The crossing of an entire continent while searching for the boy. - Who is a girl. - Dressed as a boy. Believe me, when you're 17 and coming out, you'll take inspiration in whatever form it comes. Oh, and all that delicious description about what he sees along the way, from a man. - You mean the drover? - You. - I don't know. God, I haven't thought about that in a long time. - Where did that come from? - God only knows. - From high in that ivory tower of yours. - Give me a break. Damn. You aced me. - Of course I did. - Do you care for tuna melts? - I've never had one. - Oh, then it's settled. - Groundbreaking. - Hi. - Hey. You went late. - Yeah, I did. What are you looking at? - My roots. - That's good. I called you today. - Well, I never heard it ring. - Did you see this? - Nope. - Andy Koch won the Hugo. - Goddamn it! Oh, he's a fucking slime. He ruined Bluebird. - You never said that before. - I'm saying it now. - Look, Sam, there's probably a more constructive way you could look at this. - Please. What am I, one of your kids? - You know what? Forget about it, okay? I'm just trying to help. - Hey, um... I'm really sorry. It's my problem. I get that. Mary? - Come here. - That's the one I used to love, that skirt. First time we went out. - Tell me more. - Weren't we supposed to talk? - What was that? - You said you wanted it crazy. Oh, Sam. - Oh, shit. - Me too. Where'd you learn that? - TV. - Oh, my God, Sam. - Hello. - I finally read it. - What? - Jack's email! - You never looked at it? - 'Cause I knew. Of course I knew. He wants me to visit. - Oh. Then maybe you should. - What? - You said it yourself. You're holding on. Maybe this'll help. - Let's go for it. - Me? - Sammy, if I don't go now, I never will. - It does this sometimes. - We're already late. - Let's take yours. - I don't own one. - The Mustang? - No, that's Paul's. I can't touch it. - Oh. You really are the housewife. - Oh, screw you. - Plan B. - Morning. - Oh, hi. - It's right over there. Upstairs. - What do you need, about an hour? - How long does it take? - So, Sam. - Yeah. - What goes through your head? - When? - When you watch me. - Come on. It just happened once. - Do you touch yourself? - What? - Masturbate. - No. - Why not? - It's against my religion. Haven't you ever wanted to have a fully open conversation with a member of the opposite sex? No agenda? - Maybe. But I never thought about it enough to want to pursue it. - Oh, come on. Now is your chance. So? - Okay, sometimes I do... later. - What? - What you asked. - Oh. What do you think about? - I think about a lot of different things, you know. - And when you're having sex? - Okay, like, sometimes... well, I'll think about burgers. - Hamburgers? - Yes. - When I'm getting a little too, you know, excited, and I don't want to... - Go on. - Well, it's like they're on the grill, you know, and they're grass-fed. There's not much fat, so you only need about two or three minutes a side, and then you flip them over. - And if you're losing it? Yeah. - Well, then, I think about something... - Sweet and sexy? - Yes. - Like... me? - No, the thought never entered my mind. - Oh, please. I know what you think. I can see it in your eyes. - You can? - You are totally busted. - Okay, fine. Then I don't have to lie about it. - I'm down with that. - You are. - You're a man. I'm a woman. It doesn't mean that we're doing anything. - Mm-hmm. - This is awesome. - This? - Conversation. - It is. It's kind of good. - Mm-hmm. - Liberating. - Yeah. Because I wonder, sometimes guys, they just turn off, you know, for no reason. So what's it like for you, getting older? - What? - I mean, is is it really the same? - Yeah. I'm gonna wait outside. - Thanks. - Mm-hmm. Do you ever just want to have a conversation? With no agenda. - You have questions? - I don't know. Do you? - Do you have a week? So you do. - Well... What's it like for you to notice less attention as the years go by? - You don't think I'm attractive? - Sure I do. - Oh, God, you think I'm old? - Of course not. I think you're beautiful. - Oh, come on, Sam. You don't have to say that. - I'm not just saying that. So, what, is that what this is about, huh? - Yeah, people treat me differently. - People? - Yeah. - Oh, you mean women. - People. - How does that make you feel? - Come on, you know how it makes me feel. I'm just seeing it, you know? Time's marching on for all of us. - Of course it marches on. I just try not to dwell on it. - But we need to. I mean, don't you ever want to just stop and smell the roses? - Roses? What? Oh. You mean young tender buds, huh, like her. - No, that's not my point at all. I want to wake up! - Are you angry with me? - How? - I don't know. Is this some sort of male/female thing because I make more money than you? - I'm making no money! - Forget it. I don't want to go there. - And I'm grateful. - For what? - For you supporting me. - Look, in the beginning, that's what it was. We needed the money. I actually like my work. In the room, I feel connected to people. It's... It's very intimate. - And that's what you don't get here? - That's a good question. I'm not old. Crap. - Oh, Sammy. - Are we playing? - Don't you need to create? - I'm six months late. What's another day? - I told Paul. Four years ago, I had gone in for a checkup, and, lo and behold... It turned out I was positive. But I couldn't believe it, you know? How did it happen? I had been careful. And when I asked him, Jack denied everything. No, sir, not him. - He lied? - I didn't think so. But three days later, he broke up with me. Zip. - And the email? - He wanted to come clean. - So... now you're done with it? - Sammy, I have to be. - So how are you? - Well, okay, I guess. In a way, I'm fine. - I am so sorry, Jeff. I had no idea. And Paul? - He's good. That's the problem. - That's a problem? - It's that I'm not. - I have it; He doesn't. It's a bitch, you know? And what's he got to look forward to? - But he knew, right? - From the absolute beginning. - So maybe he loves you. The little I get, it feels very deep. - That's it, isn't it? Love. That's what you write about. - I have a theory. It's a zero-sum game. - Love? - For every joy, there's a sorrow. You and Jack connect, but that's pain for Paul. You and Paul bring sadness to Jack. On the one hand, there's joy. On the other, not so much joy. In the end, everything's equal. - You're such a loser. - Why? - Well, if that's all it is, we should all slit our wrists. No, what you're offering is only part of it. You're leaving out the inspired act, you know, the impassioned leap forward, the preemptive strike of the samurai. Granted, it's a shaky progress, but progress nonetheless. - How do you know? - Because I, too, have a theory. - One step forward, a half step back, but definite movement. Like Jack sends an email, you propose to Mary. - You knock on my door. - Exactly. That's love too. - Maybe you're right. I hope you are. - I think I saw him on the river. - You did? - He's homeless, and his name is James. He's got a new name now. - James. - Mm-hmm. And he's very surprised to be there. - He doesn't know why he's there? - No, he knows why, but he has this kind of wake-up moment. - Sam? Oh, God. - Hello? Honey Bear? - Hey, it's me. - Hey. - How's it going? - Pretty good. - Yeah, what are you doing? - Working away. - How's Howie? - James. He's James now. - James? - Yeah, he's changed. - Why? - Well, he was stuck. - Stuck how? - Mute. Immobile. - Is he stuck now? - He feels unfettered. - Well, that's no surprise. - What do you mean? - Yeah, because I'm actually home right now. - You're home? - I'm standing in the house, Sam. You know, and correct me if I'm wrong, but you and James are remarkably absent. Where are you? - I'm next door. Mary? Mary! Aw, Mary, come on. Come on. Are you tipsy? - Not nearly enough. - What about the car? - Sherrie drove. We talked... a lot. - Great. - So why do you lie? - You mean today? - Yeah, you want to start with Sherman Oaks? - That's easy. Jeff really needed to see Jack. - And you? - Well, he needed support. He's my friend. - Your new friend. So you couldn't just tell me? You know, you couldn't just say, "Honey, "I need to go to Sherman Oaks "'cause Jeff, my new friend, "needs to have closure with his lover, and he wants me to hold his hand"? "Oh, and, by the way, we're gonna pick up Sherrie so she and I can talk about fucking all afternoon." - Well, you see why I couldn't say anything? I mean, Jesus, that sounds bad. - It is bad. - Look, Mary. You know, I'm supposed to be doing thisthis thing, working, being successful. - Says who? - Me! And you and the situation, you know? There's a lot of pressure. - How? - You're calling all the time, and Warren's calling, so I turned off the phone. - But I call to encourage you. - And you have expectations. - Okay. Fine, I do. But, Jesus, you could be a little bit more forthcoming. - I am trying to be, but what can I tell you? I'mI'm a guy! - Jeff's a guy! You talk to Jeff. Jesus, what is he, your muse? - No, but I got to tell you, it's amazing, because we really talk quite a bit. - Wow. Thanks a lot. Anyway, that's... That's what worries me, 'cause you know where talking gets you, huh? Look where it got us. - Oh, come on. I'm not gonna fuck Jeff. I am really not interested. I am an asshole. - Did you get my message? - Can you just... show me the room? Just do it. Walk to the bed. - Okay. Is that okay? - I just wanted to see it one last time. - Hey, you okay? You want to talk about it? Is there something I can do, anything I can do, to make it up to you? - Yeah, you can stop lusting after the neighbors. I'm serious, Sam. I don't get it. You're all over the place, you know? What is this, some sort of midlife crisis? - Midlife crisis, that hurts. - Well, it's real. - Well, she does put it out there. - Who? - Your pal, Sherrie. - What are you talking about? - In the backyard. Au naturel. - You stalk her? - You know, it would be impossible not to. - What, like over the fence? - The window. And not an ounce of fat. - There is actually something you can do for me. I left my book bag in the car. Keys? - It's unlocked. - What are you doing? Damn it. Hey. Hey, you can't do this. - You just earned a big time-out. - An almost naked time-out? I don't think so. Mary. - Sammy. Are you okay? - She locked me out. - Well, aren't you freezing? - I really haven't had a second to think about it. - Well, come inside. - No, I don't think that's a good idea. - Oh, come on. - Well. - What? - Thank you. - So... to what do we owe the pleasure? - She threw me out. - Domestic dispute? - You could say that. - Over? - She's confused. - Yeah? - Uh, well, we've been spending some time together. - We? - He and I and Sherrie, you know, from the back. - I understand you escorted Jeffrey to the Valley. - Yeah. - To see an old partner. - We did. - You wouldn't consider that a big fuck-you to me? - He really needed to you know, and I thought No, wait a minute. It wasn't against you. - Are you getting some with Jeffrey? - Of course not. - With the new hottie? - Well, that's none of your business, is it? - Stand up. - What? - Up. Up. Turn around. - Okay, what's so funny? - You're not his type. - Obviously. - I meanno, I mean, I'm not his type, but you... I hope I have half your game when I'm your age. - Was that a compliment? - I believe that it was. - That's pretty confusing. - You want to talk? - Do we have to talk now? - No, Sammy, we don't. It's been a very long day. Can I get you some clothes? - Is he gonna survive? - I think. - He seems... defeated. - Depressed. - Why depressed? - He's an artist. - Corey Heinz is looking for an intern. - At the Contemporary? - It's minimum wage. - I don't care. Oh, my God, should I call him? - I threw your name in the hat. - You did? When? - This morning. - Shh. Shh. - Okay. - Peeping Tom. - What the hell? For real? - You could have just knocked. - I know. I'm sorry. I just... I wanted you to come home. - Because you - Because we're married. Or maybe that's no big deal to you. - Of course it is. I asked. You accepted. We had a ceremony. - All right, so could you please just come home and value it with some integrity? - What are you talking about? I do, every day. - You do? What does that look like? - What do you mean? - I mean honesty and openness, no matter what. - I try! I do, but every time, we just I have no idea what I could say that's gonna make any difference in this situation. - That is so you to give up. You know, just when you're on the brink of something, you just give up. So guess what. Now it's my turn. I'm sorry. - She's right. I let her down... in so many ways. - You have to tell her... what's going on in the ivory tower. - There's nothing going on. - Is that the truth? - In a way, you know... there's a lot going on. - Yes. - Like even here, you and I, the things that we talk about, they're like... They're parts of myself that I've put aside and literally forgotten. Like my passion, I mean, where did that go? - Did it walk out the door? - No, I'm not putting that on her. It's mine. It's me, and I lost it. - Then maybe it's time for the inspired act, the preemptive strike of the samurai. Take a stand for yourself and what you want. - I got to go. Thanks, Jeff. - Hi. - Why are you here? I want to tell you that I feel bad for lying to you and taking advantage of you and for not owning up, and I'm doing my best, right now, to just keep talking and not disappear. - Do you want out? - Ofof what? - Us. - No, not in the least. - Are you sure? - It's the one thing I'm absolutely sure of. Do you? - I don't know. I really don't. I know I don't want it like this. - I can understand that. So why are you making everything so miserable? - You know, it's been six years since Bluebird, and honestly Bluebird was shit! Each year, it gets harder and harder. I don't know if I have what it takes, you know, that thing, that shimmer, you know? I don't even know if what I have to say is relevant any more. I mean, I used to be on fire. Now I'm like a washed-up stay-at-home. - What does that even mean? You used to be the guy that said to me that if you could speak to the heart of one person, it was worth it. That was Sam Tucker. What happened to that guy? - He got scared. - Of what? - Of everything. Of failing! Failing to provide, failing to be vital, compelling, failing to make you pregnant. You know, it's easy to be cocky when you're 20, but I don't feel that way anymore. - Well, who does? Jesus, you're in the shit-or-shut-up years. So what do you see? - I create exactly what I fear. - Yeah, I can see that. - What do you see? - I'm disappointed. I'm really disappointed. I mean, I could dig in at work and be happy. I could. But I don't want that. I want it at home with you, you know, with us. - I guess I've been asleep for most of my life. And waking up doesn't happen all at once. It's a hell of a fight back to the surface, and nothing is certain. You might not make it. - Tucker, regular? - Hey, wait a minute. You got a orange Creamsicle? - Yeah. - It takes, well, okay, love mostly. Yeah, that. I guess that is what I write about, when I write. You never know from where it will come... - Or where it will land. Across an entire continent? Across the river? Across the fence? So let it in. - Let it go. Don't disappear. - There comes a day Without warning And it keeps on slowing Like the river I walked away Without knowing And I keep on going Like a blind sheep So strange So unruly So close So familiar There comes a day In the storming For the banks overflowing Taking down the stone Oh, without warning Oh Without warning So strange So unruly So close So familiar - Ahh Ahh Ahh - Without warning - Ahh - Without warning Ah, ah Ah, oh Oh, oh, oh Ah, ah |
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