You like all kinds of music, huh?
So do I.
Mahler, The Drifters,
The Mello-Kings, Bach.
- What are you thinking?
- That you're a horrible driver.
What're you talking about?
I'm a terrific driver.
This car is part of my body.
It's an extension of my...
- Hope you got insurance, buddy.
- Uh, yeah.
You're going to need it. Give me
your license and registration.
Okay, that's it.
- You're as crazy as I am.
- You're not crazy. You're just scared.
Why did you say that?
You're shaking.
What's your name?
Mine is Jimmy.
What are you looking away for?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Would you like some wine?
What are you doing?
Don't keep doing that.
Don't you understand?
I'll bring you into dreams of yourself.
All you have to do is believe in me.
- What?
- You're so full of shit.
No, I mean it.
I do.
Carol.
- Carol what?
- Just Carol.
Listen, let me...
Let me ask you a question.
- If you didn't want to...
- I did.
- Do we have to have this noise on?
- That's the Chiffons, Dad.
Where's the Jerry Vale tape I got
you for Christmas?
- I'm meeting you for lunch, right?
- Well, put it on.
I never understand you.
Either it's a 900-year-old kraut...
...or five niggers
with squeaky voices.
Now that Jerry Vale could be
singing La Scala.
- You going to say it's not beautiful?
- Why don't you stop smoking?
I'll stop smoking
when you stop fucking.
Want a suit like this?
I'll have one made for you.
- No, thanks. Yellow doesn't...
- What are you talking about yellow?
- The guy sold it to me for cream.
- Cream?
- What's the matter? You got the crabs?
- No. I don't know. My dick's hurting.
Of course your dick's hurting,
it's a conspiracy.
- What?
- Women. They bust your balls.
The day a woman loses her virginity,
she's a whore. They're all whores.
- Except this girl, Anita.
- What Anita?
- This girl I'm thinking of marrying.
- Marrying?
- Anita O'Hallahan, O'Hallaran.
- Anita what?
O'Hallaran. It's Irish.
But she's a goddess.
She's got a body that won't stop.
Big blue eyes, beautiful red hair...
...tits like balloons.
You wouldn't believe it.
- You have to marry her?
- I ain't old enough to marry?
Do you mind?
If you did, I wouldn't do it.
- Do what you like.
- If you mind, I won't do it.
- Do what makes you happy.
- You stick to that, you won't go wrong.
Jimmy, how's your time for
the next few days?
- I don't know. I have...
- A couple hours, that's all I need.
- For what?
- I got two collections for you to do.
This guy, Luchino, runs a pizza joint
on Bleeker Street.
He's into me for 4000
for three months.
And he keeps crying he's tapped out.
And that's bullshit.
The motherfucker bought a house
in Long Beach.
What are you looking at?
Your eyes keep jumping around
like a sea gull.
- Ben, I hate to bother you but...
- Sammy, Sammy...
...you'd find me in the middle
of the Sahara Desert.
How much?
- I need 500 until Wednesday.
- I'll give you 3.
Come on, Ben. I promise you,
I swear you'll get it on time.
Take the 5, take the 5.
But don't be late in paying me,
understand?
- Absolutely. Thanks. I appreciate it.
- Get lost.
Say hello to Helen and the kids
for me, will you?
Look, this other guy could be
more of a problem.
Patsy Riccamonza from Detroit.
He's a dealer, messes with colored
operations, gambling, narcotics.
So I had Riccamonza checked.
People in Detroit tell me
he's legit.
- So?
- I let him play some figures on credit.
- How much?
- 22,000.
- You let him play 22,000 on credit?
- I just told you. I had him checked.
I go to this Excelsior health club
where he hangs out.
One of these two guys with him
pulls a pistol on me...
...and sticks it in my ear, and says,
"Don't come back.
The man doesn't want to be bothered. "
Can you believe it?
He sticks a pistol in my ear.
Now, the next day, I run into this
midget dwarf, Flash.
He tells me that Riccamonza's going...
Riccamonza, that motherless,
rat-faced scumbag he is...
...he's going around town telling
everybody he's stiffing me.
And if I make any problem,
he's going to have me popped.
Going to have me popped.
There's his ticket.
He likes playing favorites.
I don't give a fuck what he likes,
he don't pay when he loses.
Now you keep it. Keep it.
He must think you don't
have too many people working.
What "too many people," Jimmy?
I got nobody.
I got you.
All right, forget about it, huh?
Just forget it.
I'll bust his head myself
with a crowbar. Just forget about it.
- How's that music thing going?
- Good.
What the hell is the matter?
You're so fidgety.
Nothing. I'm just thinking
about something.
Remember that impresario, Arthur Fox,
that used to promote Mom's concerts?
- Thin guy?
- I audition with him Friday.
- That's terrific. You tell your mother?
- Yeah, she knows.
You're gonna be big,
there's no question about it.
No question about it.
Most guys who become concert pianists
are performing by 10.
It's like anything else in life.
If you know you can do it,
you'll do it.
It's just like collecting.
Hi, baby. What did I tell you?
Isn't she gorgeous?
Say hello to my son, Jimmy.
Jimmy, this is Anita O'Hallaran.
- O'Hallahan, hi.
- O'Hallahan. Let me get you a chair.
- Guess what?
- What happened?
- I got the job.
- That's terrific.
Carmine. Bring me another bottle
of that champagne.
What job?
Angel Magazine is making me their
queen for April.
Oh, yeah?
Your father says you were the
best collector in New York.
Ben, you're wanted on the telephone.
I'll be right back, huh?
You hold the fort.
Say something nice about me
while I'm gone.
- He's a sweet old man.
- He's 57.
And how old are you?
- 32.
- I'm 19. So to us, he's an old man.
You have pretty eyes.
No matter what this kid said about me,
believe me, it's not true.
Nobody's got...
Son of a bitch.
There's not a drop on you.
- Oh, my God. Look who's here. Excuse me.
- Sorry.
Jimmy, what do you think?
What do you think?
- You're going to marry her, not me.
- But what do you think?
What do I think?
I think she's a lowlife.
What's the matter? Just because
she poses for a nude magazine?
Everybody does that nowadays.
Hey, where you going?
Hey, Jimmy.
Come on. Make up your mind.
What do you want?
Hey, hey, radio.
You don't got a quarter
for the jukebox?
You Luchino?
Yeah. So what?
I need to talk to you.
You have a moment?
Turn that off.
I like this song.
- Then take it outside.
- What if I want a slice of pizza?
Can't read the signs?
We don't sell slices.
What if I wanted 60 slices?
You deaf? No slice pizza.
Take it on the outside.
Come here a minute. I have something
private I want to say to you.
Whoa, whoa.
- Whoa, whoa.
- Listen, you owe Ben Angellelli $4000.
You tell Ben Angellelli
to suck my cock.
You lost the money.
You should pay your debts.
A double suck.
- Dad!
- Get over there. Get the fuck over there.
You don't like what I did to your
father? You don't like it?
Well, I don't like what he did
to my father.
- Jimmy. Hey, what's this?
- Pizza money.
No shit? So fast?
Jesus, you're terrific, kid.
- He give you any trouble?
- You kidding?
I said, "Next time my old
man is coming, got it?"
- What did he say?
- He gave me the money.
- Get out.
- I swear.
You said, "The old man is coming,"
and he gave it up?
- I swear.
- No shit.
Waiter? Tell this character
to turn his radio off.
What are you telling him for? Tell me.
All right. I'm telling you,
turn it off.
Do you believe this?
This is "Summertime, Summertime. "
The most inventive song of 1958.
Are you going to tell me this song
doesn't go with your shrimp?
You...
You hit my son and...!
Come on. Take it easy. Relax.
You guys keep your mouth shut and mind
your own business about the radio.
Relax. It's lunchtime.
Don't you ever touch me again,
you cunt.
I'll cut your fucking lips off,
you cocksucker!
That was a stupid thing, with your
audition coming up, risking a fight.
You could've broken both hands.
- Yeah, I know.
- Why did you do it?
I didn't do it. I just...
You were looking to do it,
you fucking idiot.
What do you say that for?
Why do you put me down?
This is ridiculous, this music box.
That's for kids.
It's my tape. Do you want me
to go nuts? I have to...
- You are nuts.
- Don't say that.
Who ever heard of anybody playing
"Summertime, Summertime"...
...when it's 15 fucking
degrees below zero.
How you handling this
Riccamonza thing?
I haven't moved on him yet.
Been practicing. Audition's Friday.
He's badmouthing me. He's telling
everybody how he's stiffing me.
- I'll take care of it.
- When?
- What is it? What is it?
- It's all right. It's all right.
I get dizzy once in a while,
that's all.
- Why didn't you tell me?
- Why? You a surgery expert? Here.
- What's that?
- Your share of the pizza money.
- I don't want it.
- It's $ 1000.
Excuse me. Is Patsy Riccamonza around?
- I don't know.
- Thank you.
- Excuse me, is Patsy Riccamonza around?
- I think he's out by the pool.
Thank you.
Will you page Patsy Riccamonza?
May I have a tea with lemon?
Yes, sir.
Patsy Riccamonza?
I'm calling in reference to a financial
obligation you have to Ben Angellelli.
That's none of your business.
Now look, you cheap, rotten chiseler.
You have every cent of that
$22,000...
...3:00 tomorrow, the 57th Street Park,
or I'll blow your eyes out, got it?
I understand you got a bad mouth,
fella. You need to close it.
We'll see about that.
You just be there.
- You gonna be back later?
- Yeah.
You be good or I'll break your face.
- He means it.
- I'm tough.
Excuse me.
I got a phone call this morning.
A voice said to come here
and look for a girl on the phone.
She'll be the girl of your dreams.
5'5", dark hair, blue eyes.
She's wearing a dusty rose bikini...
...and her name is Julie.
Well, you made a mistake.
I'm 5'6".
How could I make a mistake
when they're playing our song?
Why not rehearse this somewhere else?
Because I want it from you.
- Want what?
- Love.
Why? Do you love me?
No, I'm in love with a girl
called Carol. I love your...
My what?
Your pussy.
How do you know that?
Of all the different kinds of pussy...
...soft, hot, gravel, velvet,
cold, wet, big, small...
...there's one I can feel in my blood,
and that's silk, which is yours.
What are you doing?
Are you out of your mind?
I have a sunburn.
You're crazy.
You gonna tell your old man
about this?
What old man?
Patsy.
Who are you?
Jimmy Angellelli. Tell him.
It's nothing against you.
You are silk.
Hey.
What's the matter?
Come on, it's not that bad.
What's the worst that could happen?
Death?
So what?
Everything that ever lived dies.
Think if you were going bald.
That's something to cry about.
Even then, you can get a transplant.
- What's your name?
- Esther.
- No kidding, so is mine!
- It is not.
It's not my real name.
Shirley is my real name.
You should be ashamed,
carrying on like this...
...with a horny kid like me
falling in love with you.
You're putting evil thoughts
in my mind, Esther.
Relax. All I'm gonna do
is slip a finger in.
- Why's your glove up to your elbow?
- My arm's cold. Turn around, bend over.
Bend over and point your toes in.
- Like this?
- In.
Now take a deep breath and hold it.
All right.
- All right! All right!
- All right, all right.
All right!
Here it comes. Okay...
All right.
The golden rule of urology:
If you get an erection, you come.
If you don't get an erection, you walk.
Yeah?
What about heroic fucks?
What's that?
You're ready to come,
but the girl needs more.
She's gonna cry inside
if you shoot it all out...
...so you do your razor-blade
fantasies and hold back.
That's a dumb fuck, not a heroic fuck.
You're straining your prostrate glands.
Make up your mind.
Whose penis are we talking about here?
Yours or hers?
- Hey, beautiful, where you going?
- To have fun.
- Come with me and have some more fun.
- You're sure of yourself, aren't you?
That's right.
You're in the way of traffic.
Hey! Looking good.
I got it.
- Where is it?
- Where's what?
The $22,000 your man lost.
I don't know nothing about no 22,000
nothing, but we got us a message.
Patsy didn't care
for your tone of voice.
He don't want you bothering him again.
Maybe if I shot you two douche bags
he'd reconsider.
You gonna shoot us with your radio?
- Hey, you wear shoes.
- Yeah.
- I'm surprised.
- Hey, officer!
- What?
- Your loss.
We're standing here, bothering nobody.
This maniac starts threatening us.
- Get out of here!
- Blow off our legs.
And he's flashing illegal gambling.
In his hand, look.
Is this your handwriting?
Is this your handwriting?
- Yeah.
- Come on. What's your name?
- Jimmy Angellelli.
- Let's move.
- What's yours?
- What do you mean, "What's mine?"
Officer Morris Levy. That's mine.
You're a Levite?
So am I. We're brothers.
- With a name like Angellelli?
- My mother's a Levine.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- My mother's maiden name is DeLucci.
- Really?
DeLucci, Angellelli.
Levy, Levine.
We're brothers. We're twins.
Look, I wear a chai
on my Saint Christopher's medal.
- That's no excuse for this.
- Forget it, it's nothing.
You shouldn't waste your time
with law enforcement.
You're a sensitive guy.
Look at your eyes.
You should be out listening
to Shostakovich and The Drifters.
It'll keep you sane.
I'm not worried about my sanity.
Let's go.
You're lucky.
You're not gonna arrest me.
I got to. You're in...
- I have an audition tomorrow!
- What audition?
- For a recital at Carnegie Hall.
- What recital?
I'm a pianist. It's with Arthur Fox,
the biggest impresario in New York.
Today is the day before the most
important day of my life.
Then what were you doing
collecting this gambling shit for?
I don't know.
It's just not that easy...
It's just not that easy to explain.
Swear to God, I'll never do it again.
Come on, give me a break.
The Arabs want to bury us.
The French want to bury us.
Everybody wants to bury us.
We gotta take care of each other.
I know you're not gonna
do this to me.
Three guys are in the desert,
an Italian, Irishman and Polack.
The Italian has gorgonzola,
the mick has a beer...
...and the Polack is carrying
a car door.
So they run into an Arab...
Why don't you shut your ass
and go to sleep.
- Who's talking to you, asshole?
- I'm talking to you, sucker.
All you're doing is sitting
in your dry piss.
- Who's piss?
- I don't see anybody else.
What about me? You don't see me?
You a human being?
You're a fucking animal.
I'll kick your wop ass,
you'll see me.
You couldn't kick my sister's ass,
and she's in a wheelchair in Daytona.
- You got a sister in Daytona?
- You want to make something of it?
- No, I got a sister in Daytona too.
- Yeah? No shit.
You bet your Jew ass I do.
I'm not a Jew, you motherfucker!
- Listen!
- Fucking asshole!
Instead of talking philosophy...
...why don't you let me sing
some Bach, all right?
- You a vocalist?
- Pianist. Listen.
Appear in court March 10th.
Six months is the most
you could get...
...and they'll probably drop it.
- I'll pay you back tomorrow.
- Your dad already took care of it.
- May I use your phone?
- No.
Hello?
Hello?!
Bravo.
Jimmy Angellelli.
Okay.
Mr. Fox, Mr. Angellelli.
- Jimmy.
- Mr. Fox.
Last I saw you,
you came up to my tie.
- I'm still short for my age.
- Tall enough, and very handsome.
- Now all I have to do is play well.
- You will. I have a good feeling.
- How's your mother?
- Fine, thank you.
- You're doing a toccata?
- Yes.
- Do you mind starting with a fugue?
- Fine.
- Would you like to begin again?
- Yes.
I tell you, Jimmy, why don't you
call me when you're ready.
I am ready.
I can play this piece.
Excuse me. I play it all the time.
Perfectly.
I don't understand it.
Something's happening to me.
I play this piece better
than anybody alive, Mr. Fox.
I'm sorry.
Hi, Ma.
How are you feeling?
- Listen, I...
- I don't want to hear it.
What?
Whatever it is you plan
to hurt me with.
- I'm not going to hurt you, Mom. I...
- Don't I get a kiss?
- Mom, listen...
- You call that a kiss?
Tell me.
I had that audition
with Arthur Fox today.
It didn't work out.
I'm sorry.
It's just too late.
I can play anything when I'm alone,
but when there are people...
I can't seem to relax.
My hands don't work right.
My mind starts interfering.
Can you understand that, Ma?
Ma?
Ma.
Don't...
I can't see you now.
You can't see me now?
I told you...
All right.
I can't.
I fucking need you to want me.
If you don't want me, I just...
I fucking can't do anything.
You wearing a diaphragm?
- Yeah.
- Take it out.
- I can't.
- Take it out.
- I can't.
- Take it out.
Take it out.
Take it out.
Yes!
Damn it, now!
Bad dream?
What?
- What are you doing?
- I have to go out.
- I want you to stay.
- I can't.
- Don't you understand?
- Understand what?
What's here.
Just what's there between us.
You know.
Why are you doing this?
I'm not doing anything.
I just want you to leave.
Why the fuck are you doing this?
Do you have an old man?
- What about the baby we just made?
- What do you wanna do with it?
You can't come with me.
- Carol just walked in with someone.
- Oh, yeah?
She's pretty. I didn't know
she looked like that.
- You're about 12 hours late, ain't you?
- Do you want me to leave?
If I wanted you to leave,
I'd tell you.
You girls wait up here.
Who's your buddy?
Jimmy.
Why's he looking at me like that?
I saw you fight Franky Delcenzo
when I was 10.
Women used to come just to see him
with his shirt off.
I wouldn't know about that, dude.
A lot of guys came too.
He used to lay back.
You see, like... Just like that.
When a guy moved in on him
to put him away... Forget about it.
- I like your combination.
- Yeah?
Well, I like your girlfriend.
She must like you too, dude.
- But she only likes me, she loves you.
- Shut up.
- Who you smiling at, my man?
- Carol. You.
You invite him down here?
Then why is he here?
I don't know.
Tell you what, dude.
You're down here, right?
So you must like to party, right?
Ain't nobody come into my club
that don't likes to party.
I'm gonna do a thing for you.
I got a sweet little girl
up at the Pierre Hotel.
I mean she's smart, and she is fine.
She's got a tight, little, sweet ass.
A motherfucker, a freak.
I mean, like, everybody's a freak,
right?
Because she's a real freak.
She enjoys her shit.
I ain't even touched her myself.
I met her last night at a dance.
She did a thing on me with her eyes.
I just knew.
I mean, I could tell.
You understand that? Huh?
See, you're the motherfucker
that she'd really like.
Know how I know?
The cat she was with, her boyfriend,
I mean, he looked just like you.
But he wasn't as cute as you, dude.
Can you dig it?
Anyway, she's alone this morning.
So why don't you come on and go up
with Carol and me. If you want to.
Are you going?
Excuse me, Dreems.
Butch is here to see you.
You love me? Huh?
You love me? I'm your daddy?
What you going to do, dude?
Hi, baby, how you doing?
- All right.
- Good.
Did you expect me to come
without no surprises?
I was hoping you'd come alone.
Hey, we are alone. Whenever
we're together, baby, we're alone.
I'd like you to meet a friend of mine.
Best friend in the world.
Carol, this is Christa.
- Hi, Carol.
- Hi, Christa.
Ain't she beautiful, baby?
- Yeah, she is.
- Yeah, she is. She's from Minnesota.
She rides horses and owns a boutique.
- You made that dress? It's very pretty.
- Thank you.
- This is my main man, Jimmy.
- Hi, Jimmy.
You ever seen two finer ladies
in one room before in your life?
Loosen up, my man,
we're gonna party.
Hey, baby, why don't you go
and bring him over.
I mean, like, he's your friend, right?
I mean, you brought him to my club.
She seems upset.
Don't worry about it, she's all right.
How about you?
Yeah? Good.
You see, because...
...I ain't going to do
nothing with you...
...or to you.
It's not for you, baby.
You're gonna become silky...
Hey, dude, can't get your thing
together?
It's cool, my man. Same thing
happened to me, you know?
See, any motherfucker tell you that...
...in certain situations his dick
ain't worth a shit, is telling you lies.
So you better get yourself together,
my man.
Come here, baby.
Oh, I like that.
Kiss her.
So sweet.
Kiss her for your daddy.
Kiss her for your daddy.
It's okay, baby, kiss her.
Come on, baby. Come on.
Kiss her for your daddy.
Just touch it. Just touch it.
That's it.
Hey. She doesn't want to, Dreems.
- Are you all right?
- I'm okay.
Don't you ever cross me.
We better get out of here, Dreems.
- Where have you been?
- How are you, Pop?
I've been running around like a rat
in a crazy box looking for you.
I was out.
- Let me ask you a question.
- What?
Ever since you were a kid,
did I ever break my word to you?
No.
You can't blame me if I expect
the same thing from you.
I've been trying, Dad.
This guy isn't easy.
Forget about easy!
For chrissakes! If it was easy,
I could've hired some asshole.
I called him, I...
Get rid of him!
I can't do that. I never...
Never? Forget never. This is now.
Dad, I...
Listen.
You look in my eyes.
Look in my eyes!
- This won't get your money back.
- Don't you talk down to me, Jimmy!
You know goddamn well...
...this is not about money!
- I can't.
Are you looking to stick your prick
up my ass?
- What are you talking that way for?
- That's what you're doing!
Stop that, Dad! Will you, please?
Jimmy!
You gotta do this thing for me.
Now I need you.
- I can't.
- Can't?
Not now.
Not now? I should have strangled you
in your crib.
- Hey, man, what the fuck you want?
- Her.
Man, you don't even understand her ass.
I want you to come with me, Carol.
I want you to stay with me now.
If you don't, I won't be able
to want you again.
Well, give me a fucking answer!
See how you are? See what you do, huh?
See what you do?
You shouldn't do that shit.
- Hello?
- Yeah, it's over. You got that?
I said it's over. Just don't
try nothing and you won't get hurt.
Hello?
Dad.
Dad?
Dad!
What's on your mind, pal?
Look at it, you fucking cocksucker!
You wanna die?
You wanna fucking die?!