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Fisherman's Friends (2019)
Whatever your ship
And wherever your sea Keep haulin', keep haulin' Whatever your storm Or your rocks may be Keep haulin', boys Hold your course and don't let go Keep haulin', boys Hold your course and don't let go Keep haulin', boys South-westerly, veering north-westerly, six to gale eight. Perhaps severe gale nine. Later moderate or poor becoming good. Biscay south-westerly six to gale eight, occasional rain. Moderate or poor. Granfer? - Yeah? - Can I come out on the boat with you? You got school today, my love. Lessons to learn. They can't teach me how to bait a lobster pot. I think your mother might use me as bait if I let you play hooky. Now, here. I'll take you out on Saturday. All right? Go on. What the bloody hell's going on down here, Jago? I can't find her. A grown man... wandering around... with a pixie in his pocket needs his head examining. Hey, you won't say that when I'm dragged down to Davy Jones' locker. Well, at least I'll get a decent night's sleep. Here! Have a good day, my darlin' maid. 'Tis still the middle of the bleedin' night. - Ahh. - Oh, no! Here, let me give you a hand with that, Father. All set, Jim. Good lad. Here he is, just like clockwork. Turns up when all the work's done. - What time do you call this then? - Ungodly! Here. Dad and I found another song last night. - Yeah? - Yeah. - What's that, then? - "Nelson's Blood." - Love song, is it? - Oh, no. Not quite. So, apparently, at the Battle of Trafalgar, they had to put Lord Nelson's corpse in a big, bloody barrel of brandy. What did they use? Martell or Courvoisier? A big word for this time of day, innit? Well, how's the song go, then? And a drop of Nelson's blood Wouldn't do us any harm And a drop of Nelson's blood Wouldn't do us any harm And a drop of Nelson's blood Wouldn't do us any harm And we'll all hang on behind Come on and roll the old chariot along We'll roll the old chariot along We'll roll the old chariot along And we'll all hang on behind And a damn good flogging Wouldn't do us any harm And a damn good flogging Wouldn't do us any harm And a damn good flogging Wouldn't do us any harm And we'll all hang on behind Come on and roll the old chariot along We'll roll the old... What's going on? It's going straight to voice mail. - Let's just leave without him. - Totally. You snooze, you lose. There is no way he's getting out of your stag do that easy. Yeah. I'm on my way, Troy. See, what I don't get, is why a smart-arse lawyer wouldn't insist on a prenup. It's called trust, Danny. Is that why Abigail didn't trust you to go to Vegas? She did. She just didn't trust you guys to take care of me. No, sailing a yacht out into the wide blue yonder. That's much more of a buzz. If you ever hear me say that, fly me to Switzerland and check me into the euthanasia clinic, pronto. With pleasure, mate. You're just cynical because you've not met the right girl yet, Danny. No. It's because monogamy... It isn't natural. That is... That is right. That is right. In mammals, it is practically non-existent. What about penguins? They mate for life. I saw it on a documentary on Animal Planet. Penguins live on the South Pole, Henry, where it's a hundred below zero. No way they're gonna get their crown jewels out for a bit on the side. For them, monogamy is all about keeping their bollocks warm. - Ooh - I'm gonna get me some Sippin' all day on Coke and rum Somebody tell the sun I'm ready to burn and have some fun Come on. We're gonna be late. Coming, Mam. - Got everything? - Yup. - Two times two. - Four. - Three times three. - Nine. When possible, make a U-turn. When possible, make a U-turn. Stop repeating yourself, woman! Henry, you better get used to it. That's what marriage sounds like. - Four times four? - Sixteen. - Five times five? - Mmm. Hey. - You have to reverse. - You gonna have to back up, mate. - Any damage is coming out of your bonus. - No pressure, mate. One of you's gonna have to get out and help me. Please? I'll deal with it. Sorry, love. Um, would you mind backing up? Only it's a bit tight down this end, and my friend's only just passed his test. Yeah, I'm amazed he got a licence considering he's visually impaired. - It's a one-way street. - What? Sorry about that. We're from out of town. Yeah, you don't say. Only an idiot would bring that thing down here. Oh, nothing to do with the bright spark who designed a road system that's too narrow to drive down. Yeah, how short-sighted of the 17th century town planner not to account for that cock extension. You're gonna have to back up. What a tosser. What's a... tosser? Well... So let's have a toast, ay? To-To the newest resident of Port Isaac. - To Kenwyn. - To Kenwyn. May he bring as much joy, laughter and wisdom to our world as... as his granfer did. Thanks, Jim. I'll be there in a minute. Who's Sir Walter Raleigh? Some wanker from London. Apparently, they're staying up at Charles Montegue's place. Huh? Damn bloody emmets. Coming down here like they own the place with their second homes, and... only visit twice a bloody year. Gives us two chances to take their money, son. If it were down to me, we'd have toll booths on every road crossing the River Tamar. That's what they do in Wales. Charge the buggers for the privilege of coming in. Hey, you get any more militant, my son, you'll have to join the Cornish National Liberation Army. - I never left, Father. - Good boy. - Hello, gentlemen. - How are you? - Four pints of lager, please. - Lager? I'm afraid we don't have much call for fizzy drinks this time of year. We've got Tribute, Proper Job and guest ale, Bishop's Finger. Do we know where it's been? That was good, man. That was good. No. But I got a pretty good idea where he could stick it. Oh, here he is. Captain Pugwash. - Don't shout. - Morning, chaps. Slight change of plan, I'm afraid. We won't be casting off or trimming the jib today. Is that a euphemism? No, the boat's stuck in Milford Haven with a ripped sail. - Where's Milford Haven? - Wales. - How we gettin' there? - We're not, Driss. You're telling me I gave up a seat at the roulette table in the Bellagio for a weekend yachting, and we don't have a yacht? Correct. Well, what are we gonna do instead? Whoa! It's last man standing! Hey, guys. I'm getting the hang of this. Oh, oh, New York, here I come! - No sign of those numpties? - No. - When were they due back? - About two hours ago. - We've gotta get those boards. - I am staying on dry land. Another 20 minutes, and there won't be any! Hey, hey. You can get that one. Get that one. I'm not sure. I'll try. Henry, no. He's gonna fall and crack his head open. - Danny, he could get that one. - I'm gonna fall... - No, he can get it. - Help! Jago, I need you to come and help me get these sheets off the line. He's a fisherman, Maggie, not a bloody chambermaid. This has to be the worst stag do of all time. Christ, we've got a shout! Where's me pager, Maggie? Don't ask me. I'm a barmaid, not a Lifeboat Operations Manager. - What we got? - Three men in the water off Tag's Pit! Dig! Dig! - Over here! - Boat! Help! All right now. Stay calm. Wait. - One at a time! - Move. Move. - One at a time! - Careful. Get up. Get up. All right. You. Get on. Oh, thank you so much. I thought we were goners. Here, ladies. You forgot your handbag. Oof. Oh. We're on a stag do. You're never gonna get to the wedding if you carry on like that. - Take it easy, Jim. - Well, they're hangin'. All of 'em. Probably been on the wacky backy too. - Wacky backy? - Jim, come on. Well, why else would they drag us out on a day like this? Hey, relax, chief. We come in peace, man. Okay? Chief? Hey, listen. We're just not used to the ocean, all right? You'd do well to show her a bit of respect. - Oh, shit! - What? Driss! Help! Help! Help. Port Isaac, this is Whisky Bravo 178. We've a fix one kilometre south-west of Tag's Pit. Getting quite badly burned, so... take your time. Over. One, two, testing. One, two. One, two, one, two, one, two. I thought we was having a sing-song, not putting on a bloody rock concert. You're not here to hide, Jago. You're here to be heard. Thank you, Yoko Ono. - I shall be listening. - I know you will. See you, Sal. Can't keep ignoring the bank, Rowan. You need to call them. I'm not sure what to say. This came from the Inland Revenue. I am not the pheasant plucker. I'm the pheasant plucker's mate. And I'm only plucking pheasants 'cause the pheasant plucker's late. I'm only fucking pheas... No, I... I can't get my tongue round it! Well, that's not what Rowan's been telling everyone. Get off me, you great arse! Here, do you two want to get a room or shall we get on with it, eh? Ooh! Ladies and gentlemen, we're the Fisherman's Friends. We all hail from Port Isaac, and the songs we're singing today are about sailors and the sea. These songs come from a time when sailors were clapped in irons, hung from the highest yardarm, nailed to the mast, shanghaied, wanghaied... - Hey, stop. Stop. Stop. Stop. - What? Here? - Yeah, here. Right here. Pull in. - Why? ...rum, bum, buggered, blinded... And that was all before they set sail. Jim over there, he's been sufferin' from a sore throat. Sounds nasty. Have you consulted your health care professional about it? Yes, I have, son. Well, if the antibiotics don't work, you can always suck on a Fisherman's Friend. Oh. This next song is John Kanaka, a right rascal if ever there was one. I thought I heard the old man say - Hoo - John Kanaka-naka tu-rie-ay Today, today, it's a holiday - Hoo - John Kanaka-naka tu-rie-ay - Tu-rie-ay, oh, tu-rie-ay - It's good man. It's good. Yeah. - Oh, this is bloody torture. - No, no, no, no. I want these guys signed up to Duke Management's roster. Yeah, why don't you sign 'em up for life? I'm serious, man. We're bound away for Frisco Bay - Hoo - John Kanaka-naka tu-rie-ay They're funny. They look the part. They're singing copyright-free songs. - What is not to like? - Everything. Oh, don't be so cynical. These songs are reminiscent of the work songs sung on the plantations by my people. I'm not sure these are slave songs, Troy. Well, okay, but fishermen are slaves to the sea, and exploited peoples across the globe have always shared their suffering through song. - John Kanaka-naka tu-rie-ay - Still feels like a long-shot, Troy. No, no. Trust me. My dad is gonna dig this historical shit. The label will dig it. Why don't you go do what you do best? Sign 'em up. No, no, no, no. Don't send me up there. I'm hangin'. Well, go hang with them. Get. Just one more heave, and that'll do - Hoo - John Kanaka-naka tu-rie-ay For we're the crew That'll pull her through, hoo You're not serious about signing this bunch of inbreds, are you? Of course not. Oh, tu-rie-ay John Kanaka-naka tu-rie-ay I thought I heard the old man say - Hoo - John Kanaka-naka tu-rie-ay Today, today it's a holiday - Hoo - John Kanaka-naka tu-rie-ay Tu-rie-ay, oh, tu-rie-ay I think you've got an admirer. John Kanaka-naka tu-rie-ay - Tu-rie-ay, oh... - Enough of your meddlin', Grandma. Last time you played Cupid, the bloke turned out to be my cousin. John Kanaka-naka tu-rie-ay Once removed. Nice one! I'll be with you in a minute. Small world. Um, just out of interest, what kind of music were they singing? The rock 'n' roll of 1752. - That'll be 38 pound, fifty. - Ta, my lover. - I'll get these. - Oh, thank you. Well, you saved our lives yesterday. It's the least I could do. I'd like to talk to you and the boys about the future of the group. - Future? - Yeah. I manage bands, and I'm interested in representing you. You'd better come and talk to the boys. For your information, my Jago is the Roger Daltry of the group. Well, I'll bear that in mind. Here, you'll never guess what. - Our boys have just been talent-spotted. - By who? Your admirer. Apparently, he's some kind of big shot in the music industry. Watching you sing was one of those... rare moments in the music business when you realise you are witnessing something truly original. The bottom line is... you've got a unique sound. And we believe we can help you get it released by a major label. You can't be... Now, all right, all right. Now look, look, look. I'm serious. So how's about we crack open the champagne and get this deal done? Right here. Right now. Hang on. You mean this is for real? Thanks for the offer, son, but we're just fishermen, see. We have no need to sell our souls for 15 minutes of fame. Especially to an emmet. An emmet? It's old Cornish for an ant. Something that invades in large numbers, causes great irritation and is a helluva job to get rid of. Now, if you don't mind... some of us have got some real work to do. Thanks for your time. Where's the...? Oh. Come on. Fuck it. Just one bar. The only place you'll get reception down here is on the sea wall. Way out there? - Is that Danny? - Mmm. Is that... Wait. All right. All right. All right, get it. Hey, Danny, what's going on, man? Where the bloody hell have you parked the car? - Ah, sorry, bro. We had to peel out. - Eh? - Major, major crisis. - Well, what about this major crisis? Look, you never leave a man behind enemy lines. First rule of war! First rule of rock 'n' roll, don't forget the money. As soon as they've signed, we'll get you out of there. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but they ain't signing anything, mate. - Hello? - Oh, oh, Danny. Hello? I'm... I'm sorry. Have-Have you lost your touch? No. These guys aren't interested in fame and fortune. Hey, hey. Everybody's interested in fame and fortune. So do your job and close the deal. I don't want to wake up and find out somebody else has beat us to it. Hello. Hello? Shit. Ooh. Hold up! Whoa, whoa. Hold up. What's it gonna take to get you boys over the line, eh? Sorry, Danny. It isn't going to happen. For me, Leadville and Rowan 'tis a dream come true, but... but me boy and a few others ain't so keen. We don't need the others, Jago. Five is more than enough. In fact, five is the magic number when it comes to any boy band. You know, look at, er, the Jackson Five, Take That. Now, we got to stick together down here, one an' all. That's the difference between sinking or swimming in a place like this. Yup, the only way this'll work is if you manage to convince Jim. Well, how do I do that? There's an old Corny saying. You never know a man till you find out what his legs is made of at sea. Where's the lift? I thought I'd made my position perfectly clear. You did, but us ants are tricky to get rid of. Hello, darling'. Jago said there may be room at the inn. Yeah, you... You'd have to ask my daughter about that. She runs the B & B side of things. Tam, could you go and fetch your mother, please. Thanks, darling. Mam! The tosser's at the door! Yeah? Tosser. Hello again. I'm looking for a room. I'm sorry. We're full. Well, that's... not what it says on the sign. Look. It's just for one night, and I've got an early start. Severe gale nine... to violent storm eleven. Rain then squally showers. Poor becoming moderate. Jersey... Mr Anderson. You're waking up the other guests. Mr Anderson. Mr Anderson! Oh! Oh! Your wake-up call. Oh, er... What is it? I'm coming! Whoa, whoa, whoa. Pull up the anchor. I'm here. Sorry I'm late. What have you come as, then? We're going fishing, son, not competing in The America's Cup. You're gonna have to change that jumper, boy. Fishermen don't wear green. Makes the boat seek land. And don't whistle on board. To whistle is to challenge the wind herself. She might whip up a proper storm. - Anything else? - Yeah, turn starboard after leaving the dock. Always kiss the first fish you catch. Never, ever, under any circumstance, say the word "rabbit"! - Rabbit? - Shh! Yo, ho, heave ho Yo, ho, heave ho Yo, ho, heave ho Yo, ho, heave ho Gonna sing you all a song About a ship that haunts my dreams Blow high, blow low So sail we - You all right, Danny? - Yeah. - Do you want an orange? - Will it stop me feeling sick? No, just makes it smell sweeter when it comes up. Oh, oh. Here, answer me this, then. What I don't understand... is why anyone would wanna part with their hard-earned cash to buy a record sung by ten hairy-ass fishermen. Because deep down, there's a sailor in all of us. There's never been a sailor in me! Your songs... transport the listener to distant shores... and allows them to return stronger and braver than they've ever felt before. I never thought I'd say this to anyone, but I think you talk more bollocks than my wife. God rest her soul. Look, what I'm proposing is that you come up to London, record a demo so the labels have got something to hear. We can't go on a jolly like that, we got lobster to catch. Well, okay. Then, we'll record it down here. Duke Management will cover all your expenses. Is there any money in it for us? Well, if we're lucky enough to land a deal, yeah. Not a fortune, mind you, but, you know, definitely enough to go on a nice holiday. Maggie Googled him. He is who he says he is. Sally reckons he's a proper big shot. Proper big mouth, more like. Come on, Dad. You always told me, "Never trust an emmet," and I've never met one yet who could prove you wrong. Listen, son. One thing I've learned in my old age. It ain't so much black and white as them an' us. We have to take every man on his own merit. Yeah. We might even make money out of it. Come on, Rowan. It's a bloody pipe dream, and you know it. Right now, I'll give anything a shot. Ooh. No charge for the wake-up call then? All part of the service. I'll make sure I mention it in my Trip Advisor review. Mr Anderson, I'm glad I caught you. - Can we have a word? - Yeah. Come on in. Sit down. Here. Ah, now. Now... just for clarity's sake... if we did agree to let you manage us... you'd have to understand that our real work comes first. Now we, we got boats, businesses to run and... and they'd have to... be looked after before anything else. Absolutely. And you'd have to promise you wouldn't take the piss. Now, we've got our ways down here. And once you cross the River Tamar, you're not in England any more. We're a land apart. Now you-you get my drift, son? I give you my word. Good. 'Cause down here... a man's word is... strong as Cornish oak. - Danny's on line three. - All right, put him through. If it isn't the Pirate of Penzance! Yeah. I forgot what a gifted comedian you are, Troy. Danny, have you plundered the village and found any hidden treasures? I did indeed, Henry. Not only have I persuaded all ten fishermen to sign on the dotted line, they're also up for recording a demo. Oh, my God. Oh! I cannot believe you fell for that! You knobber! What? Danny, it was a joke, bro! Do you really think we would sign a boy band with a combined age of 653? You bastards. Now, I suggest you tear up that contract and get yourself back within the M25 where you belong. - I can't. - Why? I've given them my word. When did that ever count for anything? Hi, there. I'm impressed. You are? Can't believe you got 'em to give up a day's fishing. Yeah. I just hope you make all this bother worth their while. Well, that's the plan. I mean, after all, I gave your dad my word. - In South Australia I was born - Heave away, haul away In South Australia, 'round Cape Horn We're bound for South Australia - Haul away your rolling king - Heave away, haul away Haul away, you'll hear me sing We're bound for South Australia - As I went out one morning fair - Heave away, haul away 'Twas there I met Miss Nancy Blair - We're bound for South Australia - Haul away your rolling king Heave away, haul away Haul away, you'll hear me sing We're bound for South Australia I shook her up, I shook her down Heave away, haul away Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Look, I'm all for ambient realism, but this is ridiculous. - We can't record here. - I got a plan. Lord Almighty. We're scuppered now. Sorry? Scuppered? It's a sign. Like the albatross in the Ancient Mariner. Samuel Taylor Coleridge, you know? - No. - Kills the albatross is becalmed. Becalmed? Dead in the water, mate. Water, water everywhere, but not a bloody drop to drink. Yeah, but it's a... It's a seagull. It's not an albatross. It's the same difference, Danny. Yeah. A curse is a curse. How's it going? Oh. Got some great guest vocals from the seagulls. Why don't you try recording in the church? It's where they all learned to sing. It's brilliant acoustics. I-I reckon it'll be easier if we went into the studio. Then you risk losing their charm. The people that come and listen to them don't care if they hit the high notes. They want to be transported to the high seas. The other night, I had a dream The funniest dream of all I dreamt that I was kissing you Behind the garden wall And she said Little Liz, I love you - Honey - Little Liz, I love you I love you in the springtime And the fall Honey, honey, honey, honey - Little Liz, I love you - Honey Little Liz, I love you I love you the best of all Honey, honey, honey, honey What do you think? No. You were right. The sound's great. Although I was picking up a little bit of interference in the last verse. Might be me pacemaker. Now you don't want to be turning that off, Father. Right. Take five, lads, but, um, well done, everyone. Sounding... brilliant. Do me a favour and take care of it, Driss. Yeah, j-just tell Troy I'll be back by the end of the week. Okay? Yeah, listen. I've got to bounce. - Off already? - Got to pick Tamsyn up from school. Ah. Listen, thanks again for the tip-off. I mean, this place is a real discovery. Hardly. I've been coming here all my life. Six generations of my family buried there. Um, could I... buy you a drink later to say thank you? Sorry, I already got plans. Anything exciting? Homework. Big pile of laundry. Well, maybe some other time then. Yeah, maybe. About that curse? They're winding you up, Danny. Okay, lads. Now, we've got nine shanties in the can, which means we're one track short of an album. - Well, can I make a suggestion? - Yeah. Something more melodic. "Widow Woman." Mm, aye. Oh, I'm... I'm not singing that. Come on, now, Rowan. Don't be shy. Come on. - No. - It's one of your best songs. - Come on, my lovely. - Go on. Come on. I'd love to hear it. Why do you sit, widow woman? Why do you stare out at me? Is it a secret you keep in your heart Buried deep Of a boy on the bed of the sea? In Port Quin There's a clouded glass window Pane cracked And frame dusty dried And behind your lace Is a sad-weather face Of a woman Whose heart has long since died Marvellous, Rowan. It's marvellous. - That was beautiful. - Yeah. What's it about? Back along... 1698. Down Port Quin. Herring fleet went out. They say the gale blowed up in a couple of hours. All was lost. Two dozen widows was made that day. We still suffer tragedies from time to time, but... nothing like that, mind. - Amen to that, eh? - Amen. Talking of tragedies, which one of you fair maids has parked your chariot on the Platt? Oh, bollocks! What we lack in traffic wardens down here, Danny, we more than make up for with the fast incoming spring tide, see. Driss! It's a bitch being a dog Nobody wants my job It's a bitch being a dog Nobody wants my job It's a bitch being a dog Nobody wants my job It's a bitch being a dog Nobody wants my job It's a bitch being a dog Nobody wants my jo... Yeah. I've been trying to contact Danny. His phone keeps going to voice mail. What's going on? Pillock's still in Cornwall, trying to bang that bird. - What bird? - The girl with the Noddy car. Who's Noddy? Why do you sit, widow woman? Why do you stare out at me? There's a secret you keep in your heart Buried deep Danny. Telephone for you. Thank you. Hello. You proved your point, Danny. - Now it's time to get back to business. - This is business, Troy. Cut the bullshit, Danny. I know you're down there just trying to get laid. All right, hands up, I was. But things have changed. Listen, I was reading up on sea shanties, and you're right. They do have universal appeal. I mean, after all, maritime work songs were the rock 'n' roll of 1752. Has all the ocean air gone to your head? All right, maybe. But I genuinely think these guys have got something to say. I'm recording one more song, then I've got an album to send out to the labels. - Let them be the judge. - Hey! Hey! This has gone far enough, Danny. I want you back at your desk... after Henry's wedding to deal with the acts that actually make us commission! What's wrong? Danny's gone native. Come in. Hiya. Helping your mum with her homework? We're doing kings and queens of England. My favourite is King Canute. That's the one who stopped the tide, and then the tide won and he got soaked, right? Yeah, what an idiot. Everyone knows you can't stop the sea. Um, I just wanted to ask about those photographs of the fishermen in the hallway. Er, you don't happen to know who took them? I did. Seriously? Well, they're fantastic. Thank you. It would be great if we had some pictures of them to send out with the demo. I don't suppose you'd be interested? Yeah. What were you thinking? Well, something with a nautical theme that would stand out in a supermarket checkout. Sounds a bit naff. Well, to be fair, I haven't really given it much thought. Well, if you're interested in capturing who they really are, that's something I can do. Great. - Le capitaine de St Malo - Ali alo Qui fait la peche au cachalot Ali, ali, ali alo Granfer, towards me. - Ils a trois filles qui font la peau - Chin out, chin down. Which one? You'll walk the bloody plank if you keep that up. Magic, lads. Beautiful. - What does action man want? - Coming to give us an hard time. And to make sure we can't earn a living. It's all right. I'll deal with them. We're not fishing today, Officer. We're just taking a few photos. I'm still going to need to check the hold and your log books. Twenty minutes, we lose the light. Officer, you're wasting your time as well as ours. - You can see there's no fish. - Stand back, sir. I'm only doing my job. Oh, I'm sorry. I thought your job was to protect our shores. Not to harass ordinary working men who are trying to earn a living. Do you know? I think the taxpayer has a right to know how their hard-earned money is being spent. Give us that. Smile. Your 15 minutes of fame is about to start. - Put that away, sir. - Or what? What did you get? Let me off with a caution. But I don't think I'll be getting me fishing licence any time soon. Come on. Get in. My Dad'll kill me if I'm late for quiz night. There he is, the hero of the hour. Thank you. You should come out with us more often, son. - Buggers might stop bothering us then. - Don't know about that. Eh, tribute, my ass. It's time to open that rare bottle of Jamaican rum. Oh! Now, this is courtesy of a shipwreck. Father always used to say it was like Whiskey Galore all over again. Oh, aye. Please, Lord. Let us pray for all those on the sea. If's there's going to be shipwrecks, then send them to me! Although it wasn't always nature taking its course, was it, Grandma? One of Mother's ancestors was hanged at Bodmin Assizes in 1786, for waving a lantern up there on the clifftop, see. Trying to lure passing ships on to the rocks. Great, Great, Great, Great Uncle Hedrick. Mind, he was the black sheep of the family, you know. Oh, he was a rascal. He was a right heller. No resemblance then. - Alwyn. - Trieve. Here, how's your general knowledge then, son? Okay. Next round. Music. No pressure, Danny. "Walk On By", "Say A Little Prayer For Me", in the 1960's were both very big hits for Dionne Warwick. Now, Burt Bacharach composed the music... but who wrote the lyrics? - It's... - Hal David. Hal David. - It's Hal David. - Number two. Which artist has had the most weeks at the top of the UK Hit Parade ever? - The Beatles. - Elvis. Elvis. - It's the Beatles. - It's Elvis. - Well, which is it? - Dad, it's Elvis. - Put Elvis. - Three. I thought this was your specialist subject? So did I. "Sorrow Is A Woman" was on which album? All Through The Night! Hang on a minute. They got a bloody ringer on their team. Well, they can ask to have another member if they want. You'd be better off sorting out your own team, you miserable lot of town crows. Lost control of your wife again, yarnigoat? - Jim. - Dad! - Jim! - Dad, leave it. Sit back down! Before I put you right on your arse! I done it before, Trieve. I would be so happy to do it again. Now, calm yourself down, lads. None of us wants to be hauled up back in front of the magistrate. Come on, my darling. Sit down, sweetheart. Come on. Sit down, love. I take it being called a yarnigoat isn't a term of endearment. No. Far from it. I mean, the people from Padstow think that we spend most of our time telling yarns. And we call them town crows because all they do is strut about town crowing about how many fish they caught. Ah. So the goats and the crows, eh? - A bit like the Sharks and the Jets. - Yeah, well, bloodier. Because back in the 1700s, they used to send press gangs over here to grab our boys and send them to the King's Navy. Ah. But it's also a bit more personal than that. Ah? The guy that my dad was threatening, he used to be my father-in-law. So, you were sleeping with the enemy. Yeah, you could say that. So, how long were you with him? Nearly five years. It was a really painful breakup, but... at least Tamsyn doesn't have to compete with another child any more. - What about you? - Hmm? You ever been married? Yeah, to the job. Thanks. I should go up. Early start for the school run. Who was the first artist to have a posthumous number one in the UK? Otis Redding. "Dock of the Bay," 1968. Night, Danny. - Night, Dad. - Night, my love. Fancy a nightcap, man? Yeah, yeah. Certainly beats the sounds of the city. Yeah. You... You got a girlfriend up there, or what, then? No. Yeah. I'm yet to meet someone who'll put up with me. Right. Saves you getting hurt, mind? Well. That's, uh... That's me, then. Night, Jim. Okay, just check you've got your math book... All right. Come on, then. With the pub running at such a loss, I don't see you've got any choice but to consider selling up. You know as well as anyone how much the pub means to the village. I do. But you've got to consider what's best for your family, Rowan. All right, Father. - How's my little mermaid then, eh? - Fine. Go and see your great granfer, go on. Hey, princess! Why didn't she spend the weekend with her dad? He didn't show up again. What kind of man does that? The kind I decided not to spend my life with. Tamsyn, come on, darling. Be a good girl, all right? Say, "Bye." - They drink you dry last night? - Yeah. Jago was the last man standing. Swaying, but standing. Catch you later. - Danny? - Yeah? Have you got time for a quick chat? Yeah, sure. Come in, mate. I tried re-mortgaging, but they won't accept. It's not surprising, seeing as we aren't making much profit, any profit, in fact. Then, your solicitor is probably right about selling up. What about the band? I mean, could we make some money if it went well? Even if we do manage to secure a record deal... anything the band makes, you've got to split ten ways. Look. I might know someone who'd be interested in buying the pub, if you were willing to do a private sale. Cut out the middle man and all that. It's not that easy. This has always been the heart of our village. It means a lot to a lot of people. In my experience, Rowan, emotions... They have no place in business. Danny, my man on the ground. I was just about to call you for some local intel. Why, what's up? Abigail's morphed into bridezilla. We need a UN peacekeeping envoy to solve the seating plan and we've just lost the official wedding photographers. Well, I think I can probably help you out with the photos. That would be great. One more thing... Abigail keeps bugging me about having the Fishermen sing at the reception. Seriously? She wants to give our guests a flavour of the real Cornwall. I don't know. Okay, I'll see what I can do. Listen, the reason why I'm calling you, yeah... I've just had a tip-off. The village pub is coming up for sale. I thought it might interest your father-in-law. Nice spot. I'll speak to him about it this evening. - See you now. Bye. - Thanks, Danny. Heads up, lads. Good news. I've got you your first professional gig. Ah-ah. Before you get too excited, it's only local. A place called Rock. That ain't local 'round here. Our head of Business Affairs is getting married there. - We look like wedding singers to you? - A lot of powerful people from the music industry will be there. Could be a great opportunity for a showcase. Well, all right. We won't be taking any requests, mind. Come on, Dad. Give us a hand. Good man. Okay, big smile. Okay, this time looking at me. Gentlemen, you're gonna step over here. That way? That way. - Facing in. - This way? And then all are facing in the same direction. Wait, let me just check. Oh, no, you're good. Big smiles. Lobbers Point. Men in the water. Hey. Hey, listen. I'm no photographer, but I can picture me and you together. Seriously, that's an image that will never be captured. Well, that's a big bloody tent. Must have cost a bit. Henry passed on the details of the Golden Lion. I have to say, I'm surprised the family are thinking of selling up. The bloke's desperate. - And when's he thinking of off-loading it? - The sooner the better. And your finder's fee? Two per cent. One and a half, - you've got yourself a deal. - Done. I'll be in contact. - Lovely. - Enjoy the wedding. All right. Grab my arm. Where's everyone else? They have something more important to do. Jago, you're singing in front of some big players here. What can be more important than that? Saving lives, Danny. Yeah, okay. - You're sure you can handle the crowd? - 'Course he can. He's Port Isaac's number one bingo caller. Testing. One, two. One, two. Hello, Kensington-on-Sea. We've played to uglier audiences, but I can't recall one right now. Bloody hell. They're a miserable bunch, inum? Danny, what the hell is going on here? Abigail wanted the Fishermen to perform. I thought half of London was on antidepressants. Get on with it! Driss. You asked for it. I was as pissed as a parrot In Paradise Street Way, hey, blow the man down When a mingin' old strumpet I chanced for to meet Oh! Gimme some time To blow the man down - She had hair like a scarecrow - Piss off! - Not funny! - And a rolling glass eye Way, hey... Have you seen who's here? This is career suicide. Plug the plug. Now! I can't go up there and drag them off, can I? This is not just your credibility on the line. It is mine too. This is on you. - Look, just give 'em a chance. - No chance. Fix it. Way, hey, blow the man down Blow him right back Into Liverpool town Gimme s... All right, look, hands up, that was... poor. But you cannot judge the band on that performance alone, Troy. Oh, man. Oh, they've been judged, man. They've been judged, and they've been found guilty of being horseshit. They're something there. All right? Trust me. I've heard them sing with genuine passion about something we've all lost. The only thing you appear to have lost is your mind. I'm talking about a way of life. A sense of community that I didn't even know existed any more. I don't know what you've been smoking, and quite frankly, I don't care. But as your boss, I am commanding you to get rid of them now. Legally, you can't do that. - Really? - Yeah. Our arrangement is that I have full control over every artist I sign. Yes. - Besides... - Danny. I've already sent the album out to the labels. You did what? You... I have to go. Something's gone wrong on the rescue. Apparently, Dad went in the water. Is he okay? They're calling the coastguard, but they're bringing him in now. Come on, darling. Come on. Let's go. I'll come with you. Father. Dad, are you okay? Sea mist came in. The navigation system failed. Boat ended up on the rocks at Lobber point. Broke up in minutes. By the time we got there, there were two in the water. Now, we got 'em both out, mind. We must get you to the hospital now, Mr Trevellion. You've had a nasty knock to the head. Suspected concussion. Time for being brave is over. Dad, just do as they ask. - Enough. I'm going home. - Jim. - Uh, Mr Trevellion. - Dad. Stubborn! Your dad is one of the toughest blokes I know. - Sorry we let you down, Danny. - How'd it go? They did you proud. Oh! Hello, Tamsyn. What you doing sitting out here on your own? Waiting for my dad. - You want me to wait with you? - Sure. Is it true you're gonna turn Granfer Jim into a famous pop star like Justin Bieber? Well, I'm gonna try. Do you think he's got the X factor? Well, uh, the thing about being a Belieber... is that anything is possible, right? - Here you go. - Hmm. All right? Hello, Jim. How long before you're back out on the boat? Directly. Directly? Yeah, it's like maana. Only slower. - Granfer? - Yeah? My dad's not coming, is he? No, I don't think he is, sweetheart, but... Maybe he just got held up. That's all, eh? How about we go and ask your mum if there's summat we can all do together instead? - Okay. - Yeah? Come on, then. I'm feeling it for the first time Walking in the sunshine... I can feel a good one coming on. That was useless! One? Bend your knees and flick. I think you can beat that. Here you go. Where have they gone? Here you go. Bingo. Beat that! Do you know what? I'm not even gonna try. You're officially the winner. Put it there. Let's go and get your winner's medal. Come on. Even though I should be skippin' home All my life... Right, one for you. One for me. And one for the pot. - Cheers. - Cheers. This is magical. I can't remember the last time I had a weekend off. Sounds exhausting. Nobody wants to be the man who missed out on signing the Beatles. What about missing out on life in the meantime? When a woman made a man... This is one hell of a vinyl collection. Hmm. I've always been a bit of a music nerd. I don't think you can beat that feeling of taking a record out of its sleeve - for the first time. - Ooh, amen to that. - Cheers. - Cheers. When a woman made a man I wish I could still get away with hiding up in my room and listening to an entire album from beginning to end. Luckily, it comes with my job description. Yeah, but kids don't do that any more, do they? They just click a button and download their favourite track. I don't think you really get to know an artist that way. Steve Jobs has got a lot to answer for. Yeah, he was a total hypocrite. He used to come home from Apple at night and listen to all his old records. I didn't know that. Right, um, so what shall we put on next? You pick blind. Right, here goes. You got the notion Said I'd like to know where You got the notion To rock the boat Don't rock the boat, baby Rock the boat Don't tip the boat over Rock the boat... Yeah, rock the boat Rock the boat Rock the boat Rock the boat Rock the boat Rock the boat That's Cornish for "good morning." What's Cornish for "hangover"? Make sure you don't spill her. Mam! Look what I just caught. A tompot blenny. Granfer said I can keep him as a pet. Can I? - Sure. - Hey, Tam. Go and find that old goldfish bowl and give her a nice new home, will you? Please don't start. Oh, starting's the easy part, Alwyn. What happens when it finishes, that concerns me. - Well, this is different. - Well, how can you possibly know that? Sorry. It's just, uh, you know... You know as well as I do that... ever since your mother left... And you did an amazing job. I can't just stop though, Alwyn. I'm always gonna worry about you. Put yourself in my shoes and imagine it was Tamsyn. Oh, yeah, if it was, I wouldn't want her hiding away for the rest of her life... too scared to let anyone in. Dad, I'm big enough to make my own mistakes, okay? I just don't want to see your little heart broken again. That's all. You'll never guess what! I asked for croissants, she said, "You're in Cornwall, my lover, not Calais!" You can take the piss out of my accent, son, but don't you ever take the piss out of my daughter. Dad. No, I'm not here to hurt anyone, Jim. Good. Glad to hear it. Sorry about my dad. He's always been protective. I don't blame him. Ever since he discovered my mum was having an affair, he's found it hard to trust anyone. What happened? She left him... for a sailing instructor from the Isle of Wight. I guess his boat was bigger than my dad's. Sorry. I've got to take this. Hello? Yeah. Well, why does he want to slag 'em off to the labels like that? Yeah, I'll tell you what. Do me a favour. Tell him I don't want to be associated with him any more. Lads. We've been sabotaged. It's my former boss. He isn't a fan of your music, and he's been pressurising the labels not to take the album. What do you mean, your "former boss"? - I resigned. - Resign? What'd you do that for, you daft bugger? Because I believe in you. I believe in the music, and I believe I can secure you a record deal. Well, you're a stubborn sod. I'll give you that. Takes one to know one. Now, who's up for a road trip? The modern ships Carry mighty fine gear Get away, get away, you shantyman Shantyman, oh, shantyman Who's got a berth for a shantyman... What's this, then? A reservoir of seadogs? Special offer was it, Father? A pound a pair to avoid the glare? Remember what the well-known Irish singer said, Jim. "I may be plain old Paul Hewson from Dublin. Put a pair of shades on, I'm Bonio!" Bono, you pillock. - Get in the van. - Here, come here. - Take care. - I love you. - See you later! - Thank you, darling. - Bye-bye, darling. - You watch them groupies. Look after him, Jim. Please. Drive my truck midway To the motorway station Fairlane cruiser Coming up on the left-hand side Headlight shining Driving rain on the window frame Little young lady stardust Hitching a ride And it's a two, four, six, eight Ain't never too late Me and my radio truckin' on Through the night Three, five, seven, nine On a double white line Motorway sun coming up With the morning light Whiz kid sitting pretty On your two-wheel stallion This ol' ten-ton lorry Got a bead on you... Here, here, lads. Come here. Look. See what they charge for mackerel up here? We should have brought some up with us, you know? Cut out the middle man. Make a little bit of profit on the trip. It's Danny. - Don't bloody answer it. - Don't answer it. - We're supposed to be resting up. - We ain't here. - Leave... - Hello, Danny? - You lot settling in all right? - Yeah, yeah. Uh, we're just doing a bit of, uh... a bit of sightseeing. Sightseeing? Where? Well, we're checking out the, um... - London Aquarium. - Seriously? - I'll book us a table for eight o'clock. - All right, yeah, yeah. We'll see you later. Yeah, good to see you'd hold up under interrogation Right, let's get this pub crawl started. - All right. - What can I get you chaps? Ten pints of bitter, please. Put that away, Father. I'll get this round. Oh? That's gonna be 53 pounds 80. - How much? - What? What do they brew it with 'round here? Unicorn tears? Sexy beast, sexy beast Sexy beast, sexy beast Sexy beast, sexy beast Sexy beast, sexy beast And that is saying the least Sexy beast, sexy beast Sexy beast, sexy beast Sexy beast, sexy beast... - So where did you get that one done? - Ah! That, my lovely, I had done in Manila. Nineteen sixty-four. I was on shore leave in the merchant navy. Mmm. And who's Rosie? Rosie was my very first love. Him and half the British fleet. And he was the only wazzock to make a permanent declaration. I had a lucky escape. - Otherwise, I'd have never met his mother. - That's true. Who's the lead singer of the group? - Well, nobody. We take it in turns. - That's very democratic. So, what kind of songs do you guys perform? Shanties. Sh... Shan... What? Traditional sea shanties, you know? - No. - All right, um... You'd know this one, perhaps, um... What shall we do With the drunken sailor? What shall we do With the drunken sailor? - You got it. - Yeah. What shall we do With the drunken sailor Early in the morning? Hooray, and up she rises Hooray, and up she rises Hooray, and up she rises Early in the morning Put him in the brig until he's sober Put him in the brig until he's sober Put him in the brig until he's sober Early in the morning Hooray, and up she rises Hooray, and up she rises Hooray, and up she rises Early in the morning Shave his bum with a rusty razor Shave his bum with a rusty razor Shave his bum with a rusty razor Early in the morning Hooray, and up she rises Hooray, and up she rises Hooray, and up she rises Early in the morning Put him in the bunk With the captain's daughter Put him in the bunk With the captain's daughter Put him in the bunk With the captain's daughter Early in the morning Hooray, and up she rises - Hooray, and up she rises - It's Danny! - Hooray, and up she rises - It's Danny! It's Danny calling. - Early in the morning - What? Oh, Christ. Hang on. Wait. Shh. Hold on, everybody. Hold on. Shh. Sorry. I've got to take this call. Hold on. Danny. Yeah, Dan. I just, uh, just nodding off. I got Rowan fast asleep in the bed next to me. Asleep? We're supposed to be meeting up for a spot of grub, Jim. Oh, yeah, mate. Sorry about that. We... We thought we should turn in. All that sightseeing, see, did us over. Are you sure you boys haven't been out on the lash? On the lash? No. No, Danny. We're saving our voices for the morning, see. Glad to hear you're taking it seriously. Listen. - I'll pick you up after breakfast. - All right. Goodnight. See you tomorrow. Have you seen the captain's daughter? Have you seen the captain's daughter? Have you seen the captain's daughter Early in the morning? Hooray, and up she rises Hooray, and up she rises Hooray, and up she rises Early in the morning And that, mate, is a sea shanty! I've never seen you lot so quiet. I know you must be nervous about performing in front of a label, but just try and imagine you're all in a pub somewhere holding a pint, having a good old sing-song. Yeah, I think we can manage that. All in. All in. All in. Now, remember what John Lennon said, lads. "A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality." Now let's give it to 'em. As I walk down on Broadway One evening in July I met a maid, she asked me trade "A sailor boy am I" And away Santee, my dear Annie Oh, you New York girls Can't you dance the polka? I took her off to Tiffany's I did not mind the expense I bought her two gold earrings And they cost me 50 cents And away Santee, my dear Annie Oh, you New York girls - Can't you dance the polka? - Hello, Leah. I kissed her hard and proper Before her flashman came But fare you well, me Bowery girl I know your little game And away Santee... I thought Danny Anderson was in rehab. Yeah, that's what I thought. - He should ask for a refund. - Can't you dance the polka? I joined a Yankee blood boat And sailed away next morn I'll never kiss another maid I'm safer around Cape Horn And away Santee, my dear Annie Oh, you New York girls Can't you dance the polka? - Danny, did we have an appointment? - No. But it's your job to find great artists. And I've got ten of 'em. Meet Port Isaac's Fisherman's Friends. We need a word. Danny, we deal in originality. Leah... I guarantee you've never heard anything like that before. The song they were singing was about prostitution. Yes. So was "Roxanne." That didn't work out too badly for Sting. Look, come on, Leah. We may live in the age of The X Factor, but what that show has taught us is that the public love to see real people with real talent. And it doesn't get any more real than singing fishermen who risk their lives out at sea every day. I mean, think of the marketing angles. You won't just be signing a new act. You'll be signing 500 years of naval history. I'm sorry, Danny. You know how much ongoing business we've got with Troy. If I take a punt on Popeye and his pals, I'd risk jeopardising that. All I'm asking for is a basic one-album deal. You'll spend less on this than you would on a music video for one of your A-list artists. - I'm sorry, Danny. - Leah. Maybe next time. Don't be too hard on yourself, Danny. You give it your best shot. Wasn't good enough though, was it, Jago? Hello, Danny? Afternoon, Sian. That was fantastic. Shame the powers that be didn't think so. Well, I've got a TV show that are looking for someone to step in and sing the national anthem for the queen's birthday next week. We've had a last-minute dropout, if you're interested. Let me run it past the boys. Look, I know this isn't what we had in mind, but this could be a golden opportunity to reach a wider audience. Jim, at least consider it. Yeah, we'd be honoured to, my fair maiden. We would? We would. And now to celebrate the queen's birthday, something a little different. Singing the national anthem, live from Cornwall, are Port Isaac's Fisherman's Friends. A good sword and a trusty hand A merry heart and true King James's men shall understand - What Cornish lads can do - That's not the national anthem. And have they fixed The where and when? Yes, it is. And shall Trelawny die? - Here's 20,000 Cornishmen - It's the Cornish one. Will know the reason why - And shall Trelawny live? - That's not in the script. Cut it. Cut it. Or shall Trelawny die? Here's 20,000 Cornishmen Will know the reason why - Jim. - Yeah? - You got time for a quick word? - Uh, yeah, sure. What? - What the hell was that? - What? That. We're patriots, Danny. Yeah, so are all the people tuning in to hear the queen's national anthem. And you've just gone and alienated every single last one of them! And spoiled our chances of a knighthood. Come on. That's it. I got nothing left. Can you assure me that it's always gonna be a public house? That's certainly my intention, Rowan. We don't have a choice, love. So, do we have ourselves a deal, or what? - What's going on? - The inevitable. Does Jim know? Nobody does. Rowan's gotta find the right moment to explain. Congratulations. A pleasure doing business with you. I can't believe they're up to a million hits. Look at the state of them. I mean, who even dresses like that? Have you been to Hoxton lately? It's all nautical tattoos and Breton sweaters and facial hair. Or shall Trelawny die? Retro's back. Again. Here's 20,000 Cornishmen Will know the reason why Danny? Yeah? Granfer's on YouTube. Turn it up. A trusty hand A merry heart and true I don't believe it. How long's this been on there? They're all over it. Look! Harbour View Bed and Breakfast. Here's 20,000 Cornishmen Will know the reason why - Danny. - Yeah? Island Records are on the phone. And shall Trelawny live? - Hello. - Danny. It's Leah. I've had a rethink. We're in. Problem is, Leah, you're not the only one who's chasing this. The phone is red hot right now. We both know that's not true. And the only reason you got on the TV in the first place is because of my promotions department. - So do the right thing. - Okay, how much you offering? I'll put the album out and cover your costs. Done. For the purposes of the general public, could we maybe get a little creative with the signing-on fee? How creative? There's no way he got a million quid. He got the headline. That's all that counts. I'm gonna make you a star Yeah - What's going on out there? - Hey! No! How did it feel to sign a million-pound record deal at the age of 72? Mother always said I'd be a late bloomer. Not this bloody late. For 15 years they've sung sea shanties in their local pub in Port Isaac. But one night the group's performance caught the ears of a music manager who was here on holiday. As soon as I heard them, I knew they could be huge. In a world saturated with manufactured pop bands, the Fishermen are a real catch. One minute you're watching Britain's Got Talent, wondering what it's like to be famous. The next minute you're asking your husband for his autograph! What's special about the ten of us is that we're all born and raised here. Sea shanties have been passed down in our families from generation to generation. We've known each other since we were knee-high. Makes the bond unbreakable. We disagree over things, but then they all realise I'm right, they're wrong, and we get on with it. The Fisherman's Friends say they're just ordinary men who've never sought fame, money, or a record deal. Now they have all three. Let's see if this unlikely boy band can climb the charts as well as they can climb the rigging. Eh? I thought you said they'd interviewed everyone. - They did. - How come my Jago wasn't on the telly? Some faces are only made for the radio, Maggie. Here. They say you can tell a man by the company he keeps. So lookin' round at you party, I ain't surprised me reputation's in tatters. But, uh, seriously though... I've known most of ees since you was this high. I've helped some of you learn to walk, talk, fish, and, in a few cases, sing. But you've given me back so much more than I can... - that I could ever... - Oh, Dad. Come on, guys. I... I'd like to say a few words, if he can't. When we first devised the plan to escape the wives once a week for rehearsal... Speak for yourself, boy. ...all those years ago, none of us would ever have believed we'd end up with a record deal. I-I-I was the most sceptical, I will admit that, of anyone here. It's all been down to the... the tenacity and belief of one man. - Danny Anderson. - Yeah! So I'll make a toast. To old friends and new. Old friends and new! Is that Jago? Mm-hmm. And Rowan's dad, Kenwyn. That's outside the old lifeboat station. They were both part of the same crew that answered an emergency call at Hawker's Cove. And during the rescue, a freak wave hit the lifeboat and capsized it. They were the only two members to survive. Well, Kenwyn never got over it. He didn't go out to sea again. And then when the village was granted a new lifeboat house, then Kenwyn bought the old one and turned it into the Golden Lion. That's why it's so important to us all. - Danny. - Henry? I really need to get hold of your father-in-law. Incommunicado, I'm afraid. He's sailing in Barbados. Don't worry. Last I heard the deal had gone through. Right. Jago? Your meals on wheels have arrived, love. All right for some, isn't it, eh? Sneaking in a little siesta. Jago. Playin' silly buggers. Oh. Oh, God. Oh, my... It is time to go now Haul away your anchor Haul away your anchor 'Tis our sailing time Feel the seas run under Haul away down channel Haul away Down channel On the evening tide Now my days are over Haul away for heaven Haul away for heaven Lord, be by my side Bon voyage, my love. May you have fair seas and following winds. Need to make sure the new owners keep that pump on. Don't know what I'd do without my pint of Tribute of an evening. Thanks, John. New owners, did you say, was that? What's that about new owners, Rowan? I didn't have a choice, Jim. There was no other way to settle the debt. Well, why didn't you come and speak to me about it? I wanted to tell you, but what with the band and the baby and... well, then your father, I... - Th-There just hasn't been a right moment. - Who bought it then? Charles Montegue. You sold it to that grabbin' bastard? 'Twas his ancestors who drove us overseas and down the bloody mines. He offered a fair price, and he promised to keep it as a pub. You've been a damn fool, Rowan. Businessman like Charles Montegue... he's not gonna want to keep this place as it is. He's gonna want to make a tidy profit out of it. That'll probably mean turning it into one of them boutique hotels or summat. There'll be no place here for us. You do know that, don't you? Well, that's not true. Is it, Danny? - What's it got to do with Danny? - Well, he made the introduction. Rowan came to me for business advice. He was in an impossible situation. Oh, you... you went to an emmet? In your hour of need? Rowan and Sally didn't make this decision easily, my son. Wh... Y-You knew? Well, what else would you lot want him to do? Go bankrupt? Be homeless? Look, I'm sorry. I was just trying to help. You're only sorry because you were found out. You're just full of showbiz bullshit, aren't you, son? Huh? With your million-pound record deals and your fake handshakes and all that. Jim, look. Listen, just hear me out. When I spoke to Rowan, I didn't know anything about the pub, its history, or what it means to the community. But you know now because I told you. Yeah, but by then the deal had already gone through. So you were getting a cut, were you? And you didn't want to risk losing your commission. No, Alwyn, wait. Alwyn! Let me explain! Alwyn, please, just hear me out! Keep your voice down. Go away, Danny. I'm not interested in anything you've got to say. No, wait, wait! Look, um... I-I-I'm gonna talk to Charles. I-I'll make sure things don't change. Everything's changed. Cornish oak, my ass. Your word is like... It's like willow... blowing in the wind. Yeah. I warned you not to take the piss out of us. And I warned you not to hurt my daughter. It wasn't intentional, Jim. I promise. I think it might be time for you to leave, Danny. Unless you want me to drag you through the River Tamar myself. Keep me in your heart Don't let me Slip away When the morning comes And those tears won't stop Please keep me in your heart Keep me on your side Well, you know Sometimes I run And even when the tears Oh, they fall from your eyes Please keep me on your side And you know I'd wait for you A thousand years Oh, would you do the same for me? And I would swim across - The loneliest sea - We're just up for our 20-week scan. Ah, congratulations. Don't expect him to be too sincere, darling. He thinks marriage is for penguins. Uh, that was monogamy, and, uh... well, I've had a rethink about that. Keep me on your mind Even when I am far away And even though I know You may tire of me someday Please keep me in your heart Danny. Troy. Driss. - You all right? - How's the midlife crisis going? Well, I'm not the one desperately clinging on to my youth. Mmm. When is the world's oldest boy band shuffling into shops? The album is released on Friday. Oh, man. No pressure, right? Only up against Lady Gaga, Paul Weller, and Florence and the Machine. Good luck, bro. And I would swim across The loneliest sea If it meant you could Free my love Oh, you mean that much to me Keep me in your heart Don't let me Get away When the morning comes And those tears won't stop Please keep me in your heart, my love However far Apart we may become - I don't want a commission, Charles. - Why on earth not? Because I'd like something else instead. Come on, Dad. This isn't the time to be stubborn. It's Rowan and Sally's last day at the pub. No, I'm... I'm in no mood for a drink. Don't you think you've made your point? Rowan has torn the heart out of this village. The heart of the village isn't the pub, Dad. It's the people. I owe you an apology, Rowan. I-I've been a stubborn fool. You did what you did for the sake of your family, and I should never have let that come between us. I'm sorry. One and all? One and all. - The usual? - Yeah. That's more like it, mate. Come on. Come on! Top 40's on in a minute. I'd tune into the top 400 if I were you. - Dad! - Don't be such a pessimist! Danny! Tamsyn. Oh. I missed you. What you doing here then? I came here to tell you that the pub is gonna remain the way it always has been. How's that possible? Because I bought it. Well, in case you've forgotten, we're not too fond of second-home owners round here. Well, that's good, because I've only got one. I gave Charles Montegue my London flat in exchange for this. And I'd like Rowan and Sally to keep it running. Did you hear that? Alwyn, wait. Alwyn, uh, wait. - Wait, please. - What are you doing, Danny? Just because you made things right with the pub, that doesn't mean you made things right with me. I'm not expecting anything. I want you to know that I've done a lot of thinking over the last few months. Everything I thought I cared about... money, status, the flat, the cars, the toys... none of them have ever made me happy. But being down here with you and Tamsyn did. Come on, you two! You're missing the countdown. Come on! Come on. At number 12, "Eighty Not Out" from James Last. Number 11, down one, "Lungs" by Florence and the Machine. Number 10, down three, Paolo Nutini's "Sunny Side Up." Number nine, and a new entry. It's Fisherman's Friends. Come, all you no-hopers You jokers and rogues We're on the road to nowhere Let's find out where it goes It might be a ladder to the stars Who knows? Come, all you no-hopers You jokers and rogues - I knew we were on to a winner! I knew it! - Leave all your furrows And your dreams where they lie The factories and offices Kiss them all goodbye Have a little faith In the dream-maker in the sky There's glory in Believing in And it's all in the beholder's eye Get the drinks in for all! Come, all you no-hopers - You jokers and rogues - Whoo-hoo! - We're on the road to nowhere - What'd I tell you, boys? A leap of faith! Let's find out where it goes It might be a ladder to the stars Who knows? Come, all you no-hopers You jokers and rogues You're gonna be popular with the local tourist board. - Enough to be an honorary Cornishman? - No, you have to try harder than that. Danny! - Yeah? - Did you leave your car in the bay? Eh? Did you park your car down on the harbour? - Yeah. - Yeah? No! Oh, no, no, no! So raise a glass He's only parked his car down on the harbour! On the harbour? Come, all you no-hopers You jokers and rogues We're on the road to nowhere Let's find out where it goes It might be a ladder to the stars Who knows? Come, all you no-hopers You jokers and rogues He'd have bloody loved this. He would, my darlin'. He would. Now, let's go and have a look at that damn fool, shall we? Come on! Though it's gale force Let's steer a course For sanity Come, all you no-hopers You jokers and rogues You're not the first to fall afoul of the sea, and you won't be the last. Just like King Canute! - Come, all you no-hopers - What are we gonna do? - Nothing. - You jokers and rogues When the tide goes out, we'll use Dad's old tractor to drag it back in. Engine'll be buggered, mind. Let's find out where it goes - It might be a ladder to the stars - Well, I definitely can't go back now. Who knows? Come, all you no-hopers You jokers And rogues I wish I was a fisherman Tumblin' on the seas Far away from dry land And its bitter memories Castin' out my sweet line With abandonment and love No ceiling bearin' down on me Save the starry sky above With light in my head And you in my arms Whoo! What shall we do With the drunken sailor? What shall we do With the drunken sailor? What shall we do with the drunken sailor Early in the mornin'? Hooray, up she rises Hooray, up she rises Hooray, up she rises Early in the mornin' Put him in a leaky boat And make him bail 'er Put him in a leaky boat And make him bail 'er Put him in a leaky boat And make him bail 'er Early in the mornin' Hooray, up she rises Hooray, up she rises Hooray, up she rises Early in the mornin' Put him in a corsair And make him pull 'er Put him in a corsair And make him pull 'er Put him in a corsair And make him pull 'er Early in the mornin' Hooray, up she rises Hooray, up she rises Hooray, up she rises Early in the mornin' Put him in the brig Until he's sober Put him in the brig until he's sober Put him in the brig until he's sober Early in the mornin' Hooray, up she rises Hooray, up she rises Hooray, up she rises Early in the mornin' Make him sleep With the captain's daughter Make him sleep With the captain's daughter Make him sleep With the captain's daughter Early in the mornin' Hooray, up she rises Hooray, up she rises Hooray, up she rises Early in the mornin' Have you seen the captain's daughter? Have you seen the captain's daughter? Have you seen the captain's daughter Early in the mornin'? Hooray, up she rises Hooray, up she rises Hooray, up she rises Early in the mornin' Keelhaulin', keelhaulin' Keelhaulin', keelhaulin' Keelhaulin', keelhaulin' Early in the mornin' Hooray, up she rises Hooray, and up she rises Hooray, and up she rises Early in the mornin' For all the small people And the tall people - For the dispossessed - And the observers For all the brokenhearted And the recently departed For the unwashed and the unheard Mother Nature Don't draw straight lines Broken moulds in a grand design We look a mess, but we're doing fine We're card carrying lifelong members Of the union of different kinds For all the lonely faces In those empty spaces - For the unloved - And the denied For the little wheel Turning bigger deal For all dreams that bloom And those that die Mother Nature Don't draw straight lines Broken moulds in a grand design We look a mess, but we're doing fine We're card carrying lifelong members Of the union of different kinds It's why the oak tree bends In the wind that blows, my friend And the river finds its end in the sea Yes, it does Mother Nature Don't draw straight lines We're broken moulds in a grand design We look a mess, but we're doing fine We're card carrying lifelong members Of the union of different kinds Mother Nature Don't draw straight lines We're broken moulds in a grand design Let's stand up for one last time We're card carrying lifelong members Of the union of different kinds |
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