1
STELLA: Human touch.
Our first form
of communication.
Safety, security, comfort,
all in the gentle caress
of a finger.
Or the brush of lips
on a soft cheek.
It connects us
when we're happy,
bolsters us in times of fear,
excites us
in times of passion
and love.
We need that touch
from the one we love
almost as much
as we need air to breathe.
But I never understood
the importance of touch.
His touch.
Until I couldn't have it.
(UPBEAT ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
Oh!
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah. This one's perfect.
(CHUCKLES)
Actually, though,
the tan lines
might be incredible.
Oh, my gosh. That doesn't even
cover half your boob.
(CAMILA CHUCKLES)
This is actually cute.
that's actually really cute.
CAMILA: Let me see.
STELLA: I like that.
Oh, yeah, that's actually
really pretty.
But I can't tell,
is it too trampy
or not trampy enough?
Hello!
Are you with us?
Okay, guess what.
Taylor and Mason
are meeting us
at the airport in the morning.
STELLA: What's that face?
CAMILA: Oh, my God!
I know. I know, I know!
CAMILA: Dude,
Mason and Brooke broke up.
No, they didn't.
Oh, my God! Maya!
You're gonna do it!
(LAUGHS)
I wish I could be there
to see that in person.
Just sucks
that you planned it this year
and you don't even get to go.
Well,
you can just Photoshop me in
with your fancy editing apps.
What are you talking about?
STELLA: You know
what I'm talking about.
CAMILA: Why are you laughing?
No, I don't.
The one
where you get your pimples
and your little fake blush.
Shut up.
The lashes! Your lashes
aren't that long in real life.
CAMILA: You guys
are so annoying.
STELLA: Okay, come on.
Thank you for the burgers.
Honestly, you guys
are gonna have so much fun.
Okay?
Bye. I love you.
MAYA: I love you more.
I love you.
Miss you. Bye.
Mwah. Use protection.
Thanks, Mom.
(SIGHS)
(SIGHS)
(MUFFLED PA CHATTER)
(SIGHS DEEPLY)
(CAMCORDER BEEPS)
So, I am back
in the hospital again
for another tune-up.
I need a few more rounds
of antibiotics
to get over
this little sore throat
that I've been...
Hi, Barb!
Sore throat?
Right, with a 102 fever?
I've had worse.
Say hi!
Stella, get that thing
out of my face.
You're looking good!
Stella will be right back
after we get her all set up.
You heard the boss lady.
(BARB SIGHS)
I think this is her best work.
(DOOR OPENS)
Wow.
Wow. A lot's changed
in the last six months.
Yep.
He's due in March.
Bend your arm, please.
What room's Poe in?
JULIE: 310.
(TYPING)
And open up.
All right.
You are all set.
I'll see you in a bit.
Thank you, Julie.
(CLEARING THROAT)
STELLA: Wow.
Are you sure this is okay?
I will still
be monitoring you.
And, yes, it's okay.
What would I do without you?
You'd die.
(BARB CHUCKLES)
That's true.
So, Barb is letting me keep
my med cart
in my room this time.
And she left me
a bunch of pills,
some G-Juice.
Yum!
That's the liquid nutrition
that goes
straight to my stomach
through my G-tube.
(CHUCKLES)
So, to any of you girls
out there
wishing you could eat
5,000 calories a day
and not gain a pound,
I'll trade you any day.
Today I'll probably
be reorganizing this thing
because as many of you know,
I'm slightly anal.
By slightly anal,
I mean clinically OCD.
So, peace.
Bye, guys.
(MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
(COUGHING)
(INHALING)
(KNOCK ON DOOR, DOOR OPENS)
New baby upstairs.
Meet me in 15.
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Hi, Cynthia.
Hi, Stella.
Hi.
WILL: I've already clocked
the nurse's schedule,
so unless you plant your ass
on that call button,
no one's gonna bother you
for, like, an hour.
Hey. I gotta sleep
on that bed, okay?
Wow. I mean,
we're not animals.
Don't worry, it's not even
gonna take that long.
JASON: Hey!
Whatchu talkin' about, Willis?
(UPBEAT MUSIC CONTINUES)
Okay, bye.
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
(DOOR OPENS)
(UPBEAT MUSIC ENDS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
Saw you moving in your stuff.
It was, uh...
There was a lot of it.
Are you gonna be here
for a while?
Hello?
Oh. (SIGHS)
You're deaf.
STELLA: Shouldn't you be
procuring your room
for your guests?
You rent by the hour or what?
So, that was you
lurking in the hall.
Mmm, I don't lurk,
and you followed me here.
I wanted to introduce myself,
but that little attitude
of yours...
Let me guess.
You're the kind of guy
that ignores the rules
'cause it makes you feel
in control. Am I right?
You're not wrong.
You think that's cute?
Do you think it's cute?
Letting your friends
borrow your room for sex
is disgusting, so, no.
You don't like sex?
No, I like
sex. I like sex.
Sex is fine.
(SCOFFS)
Fine isn't exactly
a ringing endorsement,
but I'll take some common
ground where I can get it.
We have nothing in common.
Ooh, that's cold.
BARB: What...
What are you doing up here?
Six feet at all times.
You both know the rules.
Will, get back to your room.
There you go.
A little name for
your psychological profile.
I'm Will Newman.
And you are?
Deaf.
BARB: Stella, thank you
for putting your mask back on.
Stella.
You need to lighten up.
It's just life.
It'll be over
before you know it.
(DOOR CLOSES)
STELLA: So, he's a CFer?
B. cepacia.
Part of a new drug trial
for Cevaflomalin.
You contract that
and you can...
You can kiss the possibility
of new lungs goodbye.
There's no coming back
from that bacteria.
Stay away.
(MONITORS BEEPING IN NICU)
Hello, world.
BARB: Okay, AffloVest
for 30 more minutes,
then you're all set.
You need anything else
before I hit the road?
Chocolate pudding for two?
Oh, so, what?
I'm room service now?
(CHUCKLES) Gotta take
advantage of the perks.
(LAUGHS)
(COUGHING)
BARB: All right.
Good girl, good girl.
All right, good.
Right.
Right, sweetie.
I'll see you tomorrow.
Bye, Barb.
Okay.
(COUGHS)
STELLA: (ON VIDEO) Like
all kids with cystic fibrosis,
I was born terminal,
which doesn't necessarily mean
I'm gonna die tomorrow,
but I could die tomorrow.
Anyone could die tomorrow.
I just have
a little bit less time
than everyone else.
My lungs are at about
50% function right now.
So at this rate,
Dr. Hamid says
that I'll need a transplant
by the time
I'm a junior in high school.
That'll be fun.
(CHUCKLES)
Hi, guys! Shh!
We're at the NICU
because I'm obsessed
with babies.
And Barb...
The beautiful Barb
is giving me permission
to come in here by myself now.
Cystic fibrosis, as you know,
is a genetic disease
that basically makes my body
produce a shit ton of mucus.
Fun fact, I have to be
extremely careful
around other people with CF.
The rule is that we're not
supposed to get
within six feet
because we could end up
catching
each other's bacteria.
A lot of people
don't realize that new lungs
generally only last
about five years,
which is okay actually
because most of us
are just trying to stay alive
long enough
for a new treatment
to come out.
(VEST VIBRATING)
Just chilling here
in my new AffloVest,
which is really cool
because now I don't have to be
hooked up to the wall,
which obviously I'm not
because I'm hanging
upside down on my bed.
(LAUGHING)
This is actually good
for getting the mucus up
and stuff.
I know, cute, right?
(IMITATES VEST VIBRATING)
(LAUGHS)
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
(URBAN REGGAE MUSIC PLAYS
ON CELL PHONE)
Dang, girl.
You look worn.
Who is he?
Is it anyone I know?
(CHUCKLES)
STELLA: What'd you get?
What?
Are those truffles?
How'd you get truffles?
Oh, you gotta
bring them with, sister.
Wow.
(CHUCKLES) Look at how spicy
that food cart is.
I'm impressed.
All right,
let's talk about me.
I'm single!
You broke up with Michael?
Maybe he broke up with me.
Did he?
It was mutual.
No, it wasn't.
Why? You actually
really liked him.
And I thought
he was gonna be the one.
He obviously isn't.
Screw him anyway, right?
At least you got to do that.
(SPUTTERS, LAUGHS)
STELLA: Poe?
(POE GASPING)
(POE COUGHS)
(PHONE RINGING)
Poe?
Poe, you okay?
(POE CONTINUES COUGHING)
Choking, 310.
(SIGHS) I'm sorry, Julie.
My leg hit the call button.
JULIE: You scared us, Poe.
Yeah, try chewing next time.
Here, Stella.
Enjoy your truffles, asshole.
(POE COUGHS)
And please be careful.
I love you, Stella.
(DOOR CLOSES)
DR. HAMID:
Phase one clinical trials
only started
only 18 months ago,
so we need to be patient
and Will needs to help us
with that.
The risk of cross infection
will be even higher now, so...
Don't cough
on any other CFers.
Well, don't get close enough
to touch them
for their safety and yours.
(SIGHS) Six feet at all times.
I got it.
Will, in order for this
to work,
you need to keep up
with your regimen.
Okay, I will see you soon.
(DOOR CLOSES)
(MEREDITH SIGHS)
(SQUEALS)
You're wearing
the bathing suit!
(MAYA SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY)
CAMILA: Hi!
Oh, I'm officially jealous.
That looks so fun!
CAMILA: We miss you!
I miss you, too!
You have
any cute boy visitors?
No. No. He's not cute.
MAYA: What?
Boy?
What?
(LAUGHS)
MAYA: Show us! Show us!
(CLEARS THROAT)
(COUGHING)
(GRUNTS)
(PANTS)
(GROANS)
(PANTING)
What are you doing?
Do you have a death wish
or something?
WILL: Hey!
My lungs are toast, okay?
Can you just let me enjoy
this view while I can?
Do you know how lucky
you are to be here?
To be a part of
this drug trial?
How do you know
about my drug trial?
You been asking about me?
Ugh.
If you don't care,
then leave.
Give your spot
to someone else.
Someone that wants it,
that wants to live.
Okay.
What are you doing?
Will?
(GRUNTS)
Will, stop, please!
Please get down now!
Will, stop!
Oh, my God!
(WILL CHUCKLES)
God!
Relax!
Fine.
Stay up here then.
Come on. It was a joke.
Hey, it was a joke.
(SIGHS)
(DOOR RATTLING)
(INDIE ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)
(SIGHS)
Damn it!
(DOOR OPENS)
STELLA: Where's your med cart,
and your pills,
and why's your AffloVest
on the floor?
Can... Can I see your regimen?
Uh... Not that it's
any of your business...
(SIGHS)
Is this... What?
Why would...
Is this what an aneurysm
looks like?
Why? Ugh!
Look, I get that you have
some kind of
save-the-world hero complex
going on,
but can you leave me
out of it?
These meds are not optional.
Yeah, that's probably why
they keep shoving them
down my throat.
STELLA:
You're making me crazy.
Hey.
Stella, come on!
Six feet!
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
I need you
to follow your regimen
strictly and completely,
please.
Why don't...
Why don't you tell me
what's going on, actually?
Talk to me. I'm not gonna make
any jokes or laugh.
(CHUCKLES)
I have control issues.
And I need to know
that things are in order,
and I know that you're
not doing your treatments
and it's really,
really messing me up.
Okay, I wanna help you.
I do.
I don't even know how to do
what you're asking me to.
That's bullshit!
That's bullshit!
All CFers know
how to administer
their own treatments.
We're practically doctors
by the time we're 12.
Are you serious?
Am I actually messing you up?
Yes.
All right.
I'll help you.
But if I do,
what's in it for me?
No, not like...
I... I wanna draw you.
No.
Why not? I'm serious.
No.
Okay.
Then no deal.
You really can't practice just
a little bit of discipline
even to save your own life?
Stella, nothing is going to
save our lives.
We're breathing borrowed air.
Enjoy it.
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
(DOOR OPENS)
Fine.
But I'm not posing
for hours on end.
And your regimen,
we're doing it my way.
Okay, the first thing
you're gonna do
is get a med cart
in your room. Deal?
Deal.
Shake on it?
Funny.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
(DINGS)
(CRASHING)
POE: (GROANS) Shit!
Oh, God, no, no, no!
Hey.
You missed the show.
WILL: Yeah.
You doing stunts in there?
Well, there's no better place
to break a leg.
That's fair.
I'm Will.
I'm Poe.
B. cepacia.
Damn, that's rough.
Yeah.
So, no lung transplant for me.
When did you contract it?
About eight months ago now.
It colonized so quickly.
I was on the transplant list
one minute and then...
(SCOFFS)
I'm sure that attitude
is what's giving Stella fits.
Yeah, what's up with that?
She told me that she has
control issues or something.
POE: Call it what you want,
she's got her shit together.
She definitely keeps me
in line.
So, uh,
have you two...
(CHUCKLES) No.
No, no, no.
I've known that girl
since I was, like, seven.
I don't know, man.
Sounds like you love her.
Of course, I love her.
So, why haven't you done
anything about it?
Because
she's not a he.
(SIGHS)
Don't worry.
I don't like white boys.
(POE CHUCKLES)
Dr. Hamid said
that you suddenly
wanna be responsible
for your own regimen.
Don't make me regret this.
Did you wipe everything down?
WILL: Yes. This wasn't
my idea, you know?
STELLA: Are we still clear?
Yes. Hurry up.
STELLA: I'm almost done.
(GROANS)
Okay. Your med cart's
all set up.
I built an app
for chronic illnesses.
It'll alert you when to do
your treatments,
and take your pills...
WILL: Built an app?
Like you built it?
STELLA: Surprise.
It's pretty simple.
You should be able
to figure it out.
(BREATHES HEAVILY)
POE: Okay, Stella.
Don't tell me that
the one time you're interested
in some guy, he's a CFer.
I just helped him set up
his med cart.
That... That's it.
That's all!
I know you, Stella.
Organizing a med cart
is like foreplay.
(LINE DISCONNECTS)
(SHOUTS)
They're called manners!
(LAPTOP CHIMES)
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
Are you doing your AffloVest?
Yeah.
Show me.
I can't.
I'm half-naked.
You're supposed to be doing
your AffloVest right now,
and did you take your Creon?
Are those the suppositories?
Okay.
Okay, I can't trust you,
so this is how
it's gonna work.
We're gonna do
our treatments together
so that way I know you're
actually doing them.
Okay?
Always looking for ways
to spend more time with me,
aren't you, Stella?
Bye.
STELLA: I've been doing this
since I was a little kid.
So you just pour them all
in the pudding
and stir it around.
Are you doing that?
(INDIE FOLK MUSIC PLAYING)
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)
(IMITATES VEST VIBRATING)
(CONVERSATION CONTINUES
INDISTINCTLY)
(STELLA IMITATES
VEST VIBRATING)
(INDIE FOLK MUSIC CONTINUES)
Good night.
(INDIE FOLK MUSIC ENDS)
The Divorce Diet
doesn't look good on you, Mom.
What are you talking about?
You're too thin.
Dad needs a bath.
You guys are stealing my look.
I'm stealing your look?
Mmm-hmm.
Okay, maybe I need this
more than you do.
No!
Oh, my God!
How did that happen?
How did it happen?
Oh, man!
Give me napkins.
Aw, here, honey.
I love you so much.
I know.
I love you, too.
I don't know
what I'd do without you.
(ERIN SNIFFLES)
How does it feel?
STELLA: Not great.
Let's try some Bactroban,
see how it looks
in a day or two.
Maybe we can clear it up, huh?
(CELL PHONE CHIMING)
Oh. I'll be at the gym.
Thanks, Doc!
(WILL PANTING)
(COUGHS)
Hey, you know, this sucks.
When does this deal of ours
become mutually beneficial?
I've done everything
you've asked
with no return
on my investment.
You really wanna draw me
after we work out?
Yeah.
No.
I'm gross, and sweaty,
and smell.
"My hair is dirty.
"I'm too tired.
"My med cart is messy."
Fine.
I'll sweat harder then.
Just for you.
I'm going to draw that sweat.
(STELLA COUGHING)
What's that?
My to-do list.
To-do list?
That's pretty old-fashioned
for someone that builds apps.
Yeah, well,
the app doesn't give me
the satisfaction of doing
that.
What else is on
that to-do list of yours?
My master list
or my daily list?
Yeah, of course
you have two lists.
The master list.
That's the big stuff, right?
Okay.
Volunteer in an important
political campaign.
Done.
Study all the works of
William Shakespeare.
Done.
Share everything I know
about CF with other people.
That's my YouTube page.
So, your plan
is to die really smart
so that you can join
the debate team of the dead
or something?
What about
traveling the world?
Learn to play piano.
Done.
Speak fluent French.
(SPEAKS FRENCH)
Can you look at me for a sec?
You wanna hear my list?
No.
Painting class with Bob Ross.
He's dead.
Yeah, never mind. Uh...
Sex in the Vatican.
(SIGHS) I'd rather help you
meet Bob Ross.
I don't know.
I'd like to travel the world.
Actually get to see some of it
and not the inside
of these hospitals.
STELLA: Thank you.
For what?
For saying something real.
Was it the Vatican thing?
Can you hurry up?
Okay. I just thought
you might want to know
how this feels. You ready?
And I brought a jumping buddy.
Don't worry.
I'll hold him tight.
All right, Abby,
ready to jump out of a plane?
Ready!
Happy Birthday, Stella.
(ABBY SCREAMING)
(ABBY CONTINUES SCREAMING)
I love you, Stella.
I'll see you soon.
STELLA: I love you, too.
(CLATTERS)
I like seeing you like this.
Like what?
Hopeful.
All right.
Hey, Julie.
What if this doesn't work?
What if it does?
(RESUMES SKETCHING)
(CHUCKLES)
(LAUGHING)
Ha-ha!
(LAPTOP RINGING)
Why cartoons?
They're subversive.
They can be light and funny
but pack a powerful punch.
I think a well-drawn cartoon
can say a lot more
than words ever could.
Yeah?
What does this say exactly?
A lot more than words
ever could.
I think it's actually
pretty good.
I think that's really good.
Behind you.
What is that?
Oh, those are lungs.
That's brilliant.
Did you do that?
Uh, no, my older sister, Abby.
Wow. She's really good.
I'd love to see more of
her stuff. Do you have any?
We don't have to, uh,
share our stories, okay?
We can just do
our treatments together.
(LINE DISCONNECTS)
(SCOFFS SOFTLY)
STELLA: Hey, guys!
I have to get a nasal poly...
Polypectomy.
We're removing polyps
from your nasal passages.
And Stella's nervous.
But I'm gonna be there
to sing her to sleep.
Just like always.
? I love you
A bushel and a peck
? A bushel and a peck
Don't sing
the whole thing yet.
? And a hug around the neck
You're gonna jinx it.
(SHUSHES)
? And a barrel and a heap
You're gonna jinx it.
? And I'm talkin' in my sleep
About you ?
But seriously.
I'm gonna be there
when you go to sleep
and I'm gonna be right here
when you wake up.
Okay?
Okay.
I love you.
I love you, too.
My sister, Abby,
ladies and gentlemen.
She's single, by the way.
Her digits are...
That was last year.
Abby's not in any of
the videos after that.
I found Abby's Instagram.
I mean, it's mostly art,
her and Stella,
but you're right.
I mean,
she hasn't posted in a year.
(DOOR OPENS)
Barb didn't see you come in,
did she?
No.
Abby's dead, isn't she?
You're as delicate
as a jackhammer.
We don't have time for
delicacy, Stella. We're dying.
Can you stop reminding me
that I'm dying?
I get it. I get that.
Okay? I just can't.
I have been dying
my whole life.
Every birthday, we celebrated
it like it was my last one.
I know. Me, too.
Because then, yeah,
as you pointed out, Abby died.
And then
my parents' marriage died.
And it was supposed to be me.
Everyone was ready for that.
Everyone was prepared
for that.
I just, I can't die.
I just... My parents...
I can't.
Is this why you're so obsessed
with your regimen?
You're not afraid of dying.
You have survivor's guilt.
Will?
You're a sick girl
with survivor's guilt.
This is out of your control.
I just don't have
any other choice, okay?
You do. But that's what
I'm trying to tell you.
STELLA: I don't!
Will, I don't.
Okay, Stella.
Hey, I'm sorry.
We're supposed
to be meditating.
Stella, come on!
POE: You knew
he had boundary issues.
For what it's worth, I don't
think he meant to hurt you.
Yeah,
but it's still annoying.
Like, he said
"Abby" and "dead"
in the same sentence
like it was no big deal.
(SIGHS)
I should've been there.
I should've been there.
Stella, look at me.
You can't know.
You just can't.
(SIGHS)
Oh, this disease is a prison.
I wanna hug you.
Just pretend
that I'm doing it right now.
I love you.
I love you, too.
You wanna get ice cream?
Yes.
(LINE BEEPS)
DR. HAMID: If the infection
gets into the bloodstream...
Hey.
It's gonna be okay.
You don't know that.
You're right. I don't.
It's risky.
But sepsis is
the bigger monster.
Hey.
You're a fighter,
Stella Grant.
You always have been.
So...
Yeah?
Yeah.
Tomorrow morning, then.
I'll let your parents know.
(DOOR OPENS)
(DOOR CLOSES)
(SIGHS)
(SOULFUL MUSIC PLAYING)
Hey.
You're here.
I'm here.
I got your cartoon.
You're forgiven. Back up.
You missed our treatment.
What's going on?
Infected G-tube.
Dr. Hamid's worried
about sepsis,
so she's replacing it
in the morning.
I'm going under general.
Shit.
Are your lungs up for that?
Do your nebulizer at 8:00,
and your AffloVest, okay?
(DOOR CLOSES)
(SOULFUL MUSIC CONTINUES)
(DOOR OPENS)
What are you doing here?
I thought this was
the bathroom, honestly.
(LAUGHS)
It's your first surgery
without Abby.
How do you know that?
I've seen all your movies.
Some might say
I'm your biggest fan.
So, I really hope
that I don't mess this up.
? I love you
A bushel and a peck
? A bushel and a peck
And a hug around the neck
Go away! Go away!
? A hug around the neck
And a barrel and a heap
? A barrel and a heap
? And I'm talkin' in my sleep
About you
Our grandma
used to sing that to us.
I had to Google it.
It's really old.
I know.
What the heck's
a barrel and a heap?
(LAUGHS)
You're gonna be okay.
Promise?
(BOTH KISS)
Hey.
You ready to get this show
on the road?
(MOUTHING) Yeah.
Oh, hell, no!
Will!
She was scared.
I just wanted to do
something nice.
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
Come on!
She's in more danger
under the anesthesia
than she is with me.
Trevor Von.
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
That's who you remind me of.
Trevor Von and Amy Presley.
Oh, they were...
They were in love.
And I let them break the rules
so they could be happy.
And let me guess,
they died?
Yes, Will, they did.
On my watch.
And I'd be damned
if I let that happen again.
(DOOR OPENS, CLOSES)
(EKG BEEPING)
It's gonna be okay.
You know what to do.
Mmm-hmm.
BOTH: Ten, nine...
STELLA: ...eight,
seven...
ANESTHESIOLOGIST: Shh...
(ECHOING VOICE
SINGING INDISTINCTLY)
(DREAMY MUSIC PLAYING)
(MOANS SOFTLY)
(GASPS)
Oh... (GASPS)
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
STELLA: (SINGSONG)
Hi, it's me.
(GROGGILY) Call me
'cause I miss you, okay?
But don't call me, 'cause
I just got out of surgery
and I'm really tired.
But call me though
when you get this,
because you're cute
and I wanna see you
and your fluffy little hair
and your little skinny legs.
(CHUCKLES)
Okay?
Don't call me, though,
because if I hear
your sexy voice,
I won't be able
to sleep, so...
Call me when you get this,
okay?
Bye.
(JAZZY POP MUSIC PLAYING)
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
Will's not coming.
Will?
I'm not leaving
until you open the door.
WILL: I can't.
Just, please open the door
and we can talk about this.
Okay? I don't care
what Barb said.
Just open the door!
(TURNS DOOR HANDLE)
I can't.
STELLA: Will, come on.
Go away, Stella.
POE:
Maybe it's better this way.
STELLA:
No, I can figure this out.
I need to figure this out.
POE: We're not normal kids.
We don't get to take chances
like this.
Oh, come on. You're not gonna
give me that, too?
POE:
Admit what's going on here.
Will's a risk-taker,
just like Abby.
What's that supposed to mean?
You think that I'm the one
that's afraid to take risks?
What about you and your life
and your relationships?
You and Tim, you and Rick,
you and Michael.
Don't go there.
They knew you were sick
and they loved you.
You were the one who ran.
Every time, you ran.
You don't know
what you're talking about.
You ruined every chance
you've ever had at love,
so just keep your advice
to yourself.
(MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
(MELLOW MUSIC CONTINUES)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
(LAUGHS)
Bitch.
Asshole.
You know, you're right.
I am afraid.
You know what someone gets
for loving me?
They get to pay
for all my care.
And then
they get to watch me die.
Deductibles, meds,
hospital stays, surgeries.
When I turn 18,
there's no more full coverage.
Who should I put that on?
Michael or my family?
It's my sickness,
it's my problem.
Maybe we can get Will
to marry you.
He's loaded.
He's not picky.
He likes you.
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
I am sorry
about you and Will.
POE: Stella?
What?
Stella?
(VEST VIBRATING)
(VIBRATING STOPS)
(LAPTOP CHIMES)
Hello.
There is something
a little bit different
I want to talk about today.
Burkholderia cepacia.
The risks, the restrictions
and the rules of engagement.
B. cepacia
is a hardy bacteria.
Okay? It is so adaptive
that it literally feeds
on penicillin.
So, our first line
of defense is
Cal Stat, a hospital-grade
hand sterilizer.
Apply liberally and often.
Next is
good old-fashioned latex!
Tried-and-true.
Used for protection
in all types of activities.
B. cepacia thrives best
in saliva or phlegm.
Fun fact,
a cough can travel six feet,
a sneeze can travel
up to 200 miles per hour.
But the "no saliva" thing
also means no kissing.
Ever.
So, our best defense
is distance.
Six feet at all times.
Ta-da!
Here's a pool cue.
It measures
approximately five feet.
Five feet.
I've given a lot of thought
to foot number six.
And you know what?
It made me mad.
When you have cystic fibrosis,
so much is taken from you.
You live
every day of your life
according to treatments,
and pills, and schedules.
Most of us
can't have children.
A lot of us
don't even live long enough
to try to have children.
Shit, it's complicated
to try to explain,
but it's even hard
to fall in love.
So, after all that
CF has stolen from me,
from us,
I don't mind stealing
a little something back.
One foot.
One fucking foot
of space, of distance,
of length, or whatever
you wanna call it.
I don't mind
stealing that back.
Because CF...
you're not the thief anymore.
I'm the thief now.
(IMITATES EXPLOSION)
(WHOOPS)
(HOLLERS)
(BANGING ON DOOR)
Five feet apart.
Deal?
Are you in?
I'm so in.
Atrium. 9:00.
(STELLA GROANS)
Why didn't I pack
anything nice?
Oh, 'cause you always pack
for a hot hospital romance.
(GROANS)
(SPRAYS)
Is this see-through?
Don't even think about it, ho.
(DREAM POP MUSIC PLAYING)
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
Hi.
Hi.
WILL: He cut and ran
when I was born.
I guess having a sick kid
wasn't part of his plan.
What about your mom?
She's beautiful and driven
and smart.
She's just focused on me
and me alone.
So, starting tomorrow,
when I'm 18,
I will be making the decisions
for myself.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Tomorrow's your birthday?
You could have told me that.
I don't have
a present for you.
How about you just promise to
stick around for the next one?
Come on.
I'm getting out of here.
There is this one theory
I like
that says, "To understand death,
you have to look at birth."
So, like,
while we're in the womb,
we're living that existence
not knowing
that our next existence
is just an inch away.
So, maybe it's the same
with death.
Maybe death is just
the next life,
but an inch away.
Or maybe it's just
a big sleep, baby.
Lights out.
Done and done.
No.
There's no way
that Abby just blinked out.
I refuse to believe it.
What happened with Abby?
She was cliff diving
in California.
She landed wrong,
broke her neck and drowned.
They said
she didn't feel any pain,
but how would they know
if she felt pain?
I was supposed to be there
with her, but I got sick.
Like I always do.
I just keep imagining it
over and over again.
What she was feeling.
(SOBS)
Without knowing that,
she just never stops dying.
Stella.
Even if you were there,
you still wouldn't know.
But I wasn't there.
She died alone.
Isn't that how
we're gonna die?
Drowning.
Just without the water.
Our own fluids
doing the dirty work.
(LAUGHS)
I think about
that last breath a lot.
Gasping for air,
not getting any.
No air,
just black.
But that's only on Mondays.
Otherwise,
I don't dwell on it.
There's that smile.
God, you're beautiful.
And brave.
I wish I could touch you.
(DREAMY MUSIC CONTINUES)
I lied
when we met.
I've never had sex.
(LAUGHS)
I've never wanted anyone
to see me.
The scars, uh,
the tube,
nothing about it's sexy.
Everything about you is sexy.
I think you're perfect.
(DREAMY MUSIC CONTINUES)
(YELPING)
Good morning.
STELLA:
See those lights out there?
Abby and I would
call them stars
and we would make wishes.
She'd never tell me
what her wish was,
but I knew she wished
for new lungs for me.
I hope she gets her wish.
(CHUCKLES) Yeah, me too.
Mornin', Barb.
(SIGHS)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Where are they?
Who?
What are you talking about?
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
Oh, shit.
Barb knows we're gone.
Okay.
Uh, she'll look for me first
in the NICU, so...
Bye! Okay.
(COUGHING)
(PANTING)
(ELEVATOR BELL DINGS)
(SIGHS IN RELIEF)
(COUGHING)
(EXHALES)
(LAUGHS)
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)
(CELL PHONE RINGING)
I'm free!
Oh...
Oh, my gosh!
Happy Birthday!
I'm so sorry.
I forgot.
No, it's fine.
What are you doing? Are you
busy? Let's take a walk.
I can't right now.
I'm sorry.
Studying.
Maybe later?
My friends
are actually coming later.
That's all right.
We'll figure something out.
I was just, uh,
missing you.
Talk to you later.
All right. Bye.
(LINE BEEPS)
Jason.
Yeah, no. Don't...
No. Don't worry about it.
It's fine.
No, seriously, I'm not mad.
It's fine.
Just do your thing.
I'll talk to you tomorrow.
(LAPTOP CHIMES)
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
(CELL PHONE CHIMES)
Thought you'd never find me.
I know it's late,
but we had to wait
till the cafeteria closed.
"We"?
STELLA: Mmm-hmm.
ALL: Surprise!
(LAUGHING AND WHOOPING)
HOPE: We felt so bad
for ditching you, dude.
But your girlfriend DM'd us
and convinced us
to surprise you, man.
"Girlfriend"?
You're so good.
JASON: Yeah, I'm good.
CAMILA: I can't believe
he's real.
I know!
MAYA: And he's even hotter
in person.
CAMILA: Seriously.
POE: Hey,
the food's almost ready!
And Happy Birthday!
(LAUGHTER)
Just wanted to observe
the master at work.
Are those roses?
They're so beautiful.
How do you do that?
POE: I've been practicing.
'Cause next month,
Michael and I
are gonna go see my mom.
Really?
(SQUEALS)
He's coming to lunch tomorrow
and I'm gonna go for it.
Oh, my God!
He loves me.
And I love him, too.
Aw, Poe, I'm so happy!
Don't go all soppy on me.
You know
I can't let a girl cry alone.
(LAUGHS)
They're happy tears.
I'm happy for you, Poe.
(BOTH LAUGH)
Let's eat!
(SQUEALS)
(FUNK MUSIC PLAYING)
Poe, where did you get
all of this?
Hospitals have VIP kitchens
where they keep
all the good stuff.
You know,
for celebrities, politicians.
But tonight, Birthday Boy,
it's for you.
Salud!
ALL: Salud!
(ALL LAUGHING)
(COUGHING)
We were, like, ten!
Yes. And we literally
put sheets over our head
and ran
into the dementia ward!
(THUMPS TABLE)
It was just like that!
POE: (SPOOKILY) Woo!
It was crazy.
It was
the best Halloween ever!
We got in so much trouble.
And it wasn't even our idea.
Remember? Abby...
Abby came up with that.
(CHATTER QUIETS)
Abby was wild.
She was free.
POE: She always said
she was gonna live big
because Stella couldn't.
She did.
POE: She lived big.
POE: Bigger than any of us.
She would've loved
a clandestine party
like this one!
She would've.
To Abby.
CAMILA: To Abby.
? Happy Birthday to you! ?
Whoo!
Make a wish!
I can't blow the candles out
or else you guys can't eat it.
(BLOWS)
HOPE: I made a wish for you.
Thank you.
One. Two.
MAYA: All right.
(CAMERA CLICKS)
ALL: Yay!
CAMILA: Happy Birthday, Will!
POE: Barb?
Hey!
(BARB CLEARS THROAT)
POE: We thought
you were off tonight.
You want us
to fix you a plate?
That's it. That's it.
You're all confined
to your rooms
while we get
respiratory cultures.
And you.
You'll be transferred
in the morning.
STELLA: Barb!
Barb, it wasn't his fault.
Well, you might be willing
to gamble with your lives,
but I'm not!
POE: Just like when
we were kids.
But you're not kids
anymore, Poe.
But we were safe
like you taught us to be.
Oh. (SIGHS)
I'm sorry, but it was fun!
(LAUGHING)
WILL: All right, I'm gonna
let you go to sleep, okay?
STELLA: Good night.
Good night.
(LINE BEEPS)
A little pick-me-up?
Thank you.
It's just safer if he goes.
You're probably right.
She's gonna hate me.
JULIE: Mmm-hmm.
What's up, Poe?
He probably sat
on the call button again.
I got it.
Knock, knock. Poe?
(GASPS) Code Blue!
MAN: (ON PA) Attention,
all medical personnel.
Poe! Poe!
BARB: Poe!
No pulse.
Oh, God! Okay.
JULIE: Stay with me, baby.
He's not breathing.
He's not breathing.
Come on, you can do it.
Come on.
Bag him.
Start chest compressions!
JULIE: Come on!
DOCTOR: Give him an Epi!
Come on, baby!
DOCTOR: It's a massive
tension pneumothorax.
His lung is collapsing!
(ALARMED CHATTER)
DOCTOR: Put the pads on him!
Put the pads on him!
JULIE: Come on, buddy.
Come on, sweetie.
Come on, sweetie!
JULIE: Come on, buddy!
Barb, what's happening?
Somebody get her out of here!
Close that door!
Barb, what's happening?
STELLA: Dr. Hamid?
Not now, Stella.
Dr. Hamid?
I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.
(SOBBING) No!
No!
(SOBBING) I'm so sorry.
No!
(CONTINUES SOBBING)
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
He's gone!
Michael's never gonna
see him again.
His parents are never gonna
see him again.
I'm never gonna see him again.
I never hugged him!
I never hugged him!
He's my best friend and
I never fucking hugged him!
Oh, God!
I'm losing everyone.
You're not losing me.
What are you doing?
Get out!
Get out!
Just get out!
(JAR SHATTERS)
(CONTINUES SOBBING)
(MOUTHING)
(EXHALES SHARPLY)
I wanna go see the lights.
It's gotta be, like,
two miles away.
Hey, come on, let's go inside.
Come with me.
Stella, now's not the time
to be rebellious.
Is this about Poe?
It is about Poe.
It's about Abby,
it's about you and me
and all the things that we'll
never get to do together.
This whole time, I've been
living for my treatments
instead of doing my treatments
so that I can live.
I wanna live.
It's just life, Will.
It'll be over
before we know it.
All right.
Can we catch a cab at least?
I wanna walk
and enjoy the night.
Glove.
We're good.
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATION)
(WILL PANTING)
WILL: How are you always
getting me to exercise?
(STELLA CHUCKLES)
(BOTH PANTING)
Sure looks better
from up here.
(WILL GRUNTS)
(STELLA CHUCKLES)
What's that?
Yeah, you're gonna have
to explain that one.
Abby got it for me
the first time I came
to the hospital.
I've had it with me
every time since.
That's a relief, honestly,
'cause I didn't have
the heart to tell you
that a third boob might be
a deal breaker.
(STELLA CHUCKLES)
Hey, Stella.
Hmm?
It's cold.
(GRUNTS)
Come on.
Let's go see your lights.
(BOTH PANTING)
Let's take a breather.
Stella?
Hey, don't do that.
Stella.
(STOMPS) It's frozen solid.
(SNIFFLES, SIGHS HEAVILY)
DR. HAMID: Hey, ladies.
I just got a call from
St. Luke's in Kansas City.
Car accident with fatalities.
One female, AB neg, 5'2",
thoracic cage size...
Stella's getting lungs.
ETA three hours.
Get her prepped.
(BARB GASPING)
Oh, my God.
No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no. No!
(STELLA LAUGHING
AND SQUEALING)
Whew!
(GRUNTS)
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
Hey.
Everything all right?
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm good.
Oh! (LAUGHING)
I love you, Stella.
(PANTING)
(GIGGLES)
(STELLA YELPS, LAUGHS)
(STELLA COUGHS)
I love you, too.
We can't.
I know.
Stella.
(ICE CRACKING)
Oh...
STELLA: Shit!
WILL: Come on, come on!
Come on.
(LOUD CRACK)
WILL: Come on.
Barb. Barb? Barb.
She's not answering,
and now it's going
straight to voicemail.
Stella would never run off.
She wouldn't do that.
Have you been able
to reach him?
No.
How long have they been gone?
If your son causes Stella
to lose these lungs...
My son is just
as sick as your daughter is.
Stella would never do
anything like this.
She's never done anything.
BARB: Stella did this, Erin.
Not Will. He doesn't know
anything about the lungs.
Lungs?
Is there a transplant?
Yeah, for Stella.
They're on the way.
STELLA: Well, tell me
at least you're a cat person.
Do you like cats?
WILL: I owned a ferret.
I was a ferret kid.
(CHUCKLES)
Oh, no.
You would be a ferret kid.
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
Don't answer it.
Really. What do they need
right now?
It's my mom.
Let me just tell her
that I'm okay.
Stella, they have
new lungs for you.
Hey, they have
new lungs for you.
Let's go to the hospital.
Come on!
I haven't seen the lights yet.
The lights?
Did you know about this?
What are we doing out here?
Let's go to the hospital.
Come on.
Five years?
Five years is a lifetime
for people like us.
It's not!
Because what happens
when they fail
and I'm back to square one?
Let's not be stupid. Can we go
the hospital, please?
Come on, let's go.
(YELPS)
Stella!
(COUGHING)
(LAUGHING)
Stella.
Come on.
Please? It's cold.
Stella!
Stella!
(PANTING RAPIDLY)
Stella.
(WILL GASPING)
Help!
(TONE CHIMES)
Come on, Stella.
(PANTING)
(COUGHING)
Come on!
Come on!
(GRUNTS)
Come on, Stella.
(INHALES)
(WILL GASPING)
(WILL WHEEZING)
(GURGLES)
(COUGHING)
(SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE)
(COUGHING)
PARAMEDIC:
We have a 17-year-old...
DOCTOR: What have we got?
PARAMEDIC: A 17-year-old
female with cystic fibrosis.
We already have lungs for her.
Can someone get
the other mask off?
Oh, my God. Honey.
It's okay.
My son.
My son was out there, too.
I'm sorry.
Step back, please.
ERIN: You're okay.
You're okay.
Where's Will?
Where's Will?
ERIN: Honey.
JULIE: Coming through!
Is he okay?
(COUGHING)
DR. HAMID: Get a mask on her
as soon as possible, please.
JULIE: O2 is at 45.
Possible hypothermia.
JULIE: We're gonna need
more blankets over here.
DR. HAMID: Just breathe.
Stella?
ERIN: I've got you, honey.
DR. HAMID: Stella?
You need to calm down.
We have your new lungs.
Yes, Stella.
I don't want them.
Stella, we've been waiting
for these lungs for years.
What are you talking about?
If you don't use the lungs,
they're wasted, sweetie.
I love him. The new lungs
won't mean anything
without him.
Lay down!
WILL: Stop! Stop!
Please! Stop.
STELLA: Will!
Please.
Take the lungs.
For me.
Okay.
PARAMEDIC:
Come on, put the mask on.
STELLA: I'm ready.
DR. HAMID: Okay, all right,
let's go, everyone.
Okay, okay.
PARAMEDIC: Okay, here we go.
We're moving.
ERIN: I'll be right here,
honey.
PARAMEDIC: Let's go.
Okay, I love you so much.
I love you, Dad.
(COUGHING)
PARAMEDIC: Okay, here we go.
WILL: Dr. Hamid.
I gave her mouth-to-mouth.
I'm sorry. I didn't have
any other choice.
You saved her life, Will.
If she has B. cepacia,
we'll deal with it, okay?
(SOFT INDIE MUSIC PLAYING)
(INAUDIBLE)
(SOFT INDIE MUSIC CONTINUES)
(INAUDIBLE)
(DOOR OPENS)
Bacterial cultures came back.
I don't know how,
but she's clean.
She didn't get it.
But that doesn't mean
she won't.
What about Will?
Is the treatment working?
No.
No, it's not.
(BARB SIGHS)
I'm sorry.
For all of this.
No, no, no, no, sweetie.
It's not your fault.
(SIGHS)
(EKG BEEPING)
(SIGHING)
WILL: (WHISPERS)
Mom. Hey.
Hey, Mom.
What? What is it?
What is it, honey?
Could you help me
with something?
Are you guys in?
Absolutely.
Barb?
Hell, yeah, I'm in.
(ERIN CHUCKLES)
She's sedated.
We have a few more hours.
We have time.
MEREDITH: It's done.
They said yes.
Okay.
Let's do this.
(INAUDIBLE)
I've done all I'm doing
with this, Will. I'm done.
ERIN: Thank you.
She's waking up.
ERIN: (SOFTLY)
Hey, honey.
Hey, sweetie, you did great!
You really did.
You did great.
BARB: You did wonderful, baby.
You did good.
ERIN: It's okay.
(WHISPERS)
We have something for you.
WILL: My beautiful,
bossy Stella.
I guess it's true,
what that book of yours says.
That the soul knows no time.
My drug trial's not working.
I want you to know
that this past month
will last forever for me.
My only regret is that
you didn't get to see
your lights.
(CELL PHONE VIBRATING)
(ON SPEAKERS)
I finally got you speechless.
You know, people are always
saying if you love something,
you have to learn
to let it go.
I thought
that was such bullshit.
Till I watched you almost die.
In that moment, Stella,
nothing mattered to me.
Except you.
I'm sorry.
I don't wanna go.
All I want is to be with you.
I can't.
I need you to be safe.
From me.
I don't know what comes next,
but I don't regret
any of this.
Could you close your eyes?
I just don't know
if I can walk away
if you're still looking at me.
Please.
I love you
so much.
(MELLOW MUSIC PLAYING)
(SNIFFLES)
He left this for you.
(SOBBING)
(BOTH CHUCKLE)
(GASPS)
(SOBS)
STELLA: Human touch.
Our first form
of communication.
Safety, security, comfort,
all in the gentle caress
of a finger.
Or at the brush of lips
on a soft cheek.
Hey, Stella.
You can't record that. No.
It connects us
when we're happy...
(GIGGLING)
(GASPS) Abby, no.
STELLA: ...bolsters us
in times of fear...
(SHOUTS)
Can you turn that off?
...excites us
in times of passion...
Ah. No. Stella, no.
Stop!
...and love.
We need that touch
from the one we love
almost as much
as we need air to breathe.
But I never understood
the importance of touch.
His touch.
Until I couldn't have it.
So, if you're watching this
and you're able,
touch him.
Touch her.
Life's too short
to waste a second.