Why are you
doing this to us?
I'm not gonna kill him.
I can't!
Some people are casual gamblers.
They just enjoy
the occasional flutter.
For me, it's about
playing the odds,
taking a calculated risk.
Morning.
It lives.
Barely.
I take it
we didn't win.
If we'd have won,
I would've woke you.
So who won?
Magnetic Moll.
Top of the head,
nine to four.
Well, let's hope you have
some better luck tonight.
- It's not luck. It's a science.
- Whatever you say, dear.
Oh, fuckin' hell!
What's wrong?
What have you done?
I feel
I've cracked a tooth.
Well, you shouldn't
read and eat, should you?
Can we sue 'em?
There's a disclaimer
on the box,
and the apple's blue
to stop idiots eating it.
Got a new client the other day. He's
a dentist. You should go and see him.
- You know I hate going to the dentist.
- Stop moaning. Just go see him.
I'll call you later.
All right?
All right.
Bye.
11:37 AM. I've got bets
on dogs across the country.
Southern Terry, Here Today, Contact
Man, Baron Dom and Magic Christian,
all to win.
12:10. Fourth, third,
sixth and second.
Down another 250. Tooth feels
like it's been split in half.
One last chance.
12:15. Photo finish.
Second.
What I need now
is a good tip.
This way,
Mr. Marlowe.
Oh.
First time's a charm.
Nancy, would you
prepare the GIC?
Thanks.
I don't think that should
take too much to fix.
You into dog racing then?
As a matter of fact, I am. Why?
You a greyhound man yourself?
Yeah, I, uh, enjoy the occasional
flutter every now and then.
Well, I have two passions
in my life...
dentistry and dogs.
Or canines and canines.
So to speak.
Funny.
No, my practice
affords us...
a small but, if I may say so,
successful kennel.
You can always
tell our dogs because...
we've named them after teeth.
We have The Incisor.
We have Lower Molar.
Come to think of it, we have
a young bitch running tonight...
named after
the very tooth you damaged...
Upper Wisdom.
Really?
- She worth a go then?
- I'd say. Go ahead and rinse.
She's drawn
the inside.
Nothing'll
catch her.
And there it was.
A tip straight from
the dentist's mouth.
How could I possibly
ignore that?
All right, John. Thanks, mate.
There's only one place you can
make the most of a good tip.
That's the track. That's where
you'll find the serious money.
All right, John?
Evenin', fellas.
All right, John? Terry.
All right.
What you reckon?
No, mate, it's a mutt. No stamina
over that distance. Fair enough.
Whereas that is a much better
dog than they're letting on.
In fact, I'm gonna have
a piece of that. Nice one.
All right, Zaf, mate. What you
doin' on the five dog in the 8:30?
I'll do you six to four. Yeah, go on.
There you go.
Thanks, mate.
You all right, John? Usual? Yeah.
Busy night, innit? Yeah.
Can't complain, mate.
Adrian's upstairs.
No,
you're all right.
Yes, mate?
Told ya.
Yeah. Cheers, mate.
"Friends and relatives in the world of show
biz were shocked and distressed yesterday... "
Don't start.
"by the sudden death of the comedian
Hank Hardy, who passed away on Tuesday. "
Hank Hardy.
You're fucking kidding me.
Basic rule of having a death
pool... never choose the pope.
It's a novice's mistake,
John.
I'm surprised at you.
Well, you're not getting paid
now. All my money's tied up.
Charming.
Well, shall we
adjourn to the track?
Form please, Wagner!
In the 7:30
dog six is the favorite.
He's not very good in the wet.
There's gonna be five dogs.
This race is classed
as a grade-A4 race.
If you look at the form,
he's doing way better...
What the fuck is that? What's what?
That's Stan's spot.
What's she done with Stan?
- She's better looking than Stan.
- I've run things over that are better looking than Stan.
I'll go and investigate,
shall I?
The dogs are out now for our
fourth race on the race card.
It's the 8:15... Danny
Chapman and Wedding Stakes.
Distance tonight is 480 meters
and is classed as a grade-A2 race.
All right?
Where's Stan?
What?
- I said, where's Stan?
- I'm Stan.
No, Stan was fat and bald,
and you're... you're
neither of those things.
I'm the new Stan.
So where's the old Stan?
He had some,
uh, bad luck.
All right, what are you, uh...
what are you doing on Upper Wisdom?
- Do you tens.
- Yeah, all right. I'll have some of that.
Eight hundred to win.
I'm John.
I'll have
number two dog, please.
Isn't Stan a bit of an
odd name for a woman?
Considering your name means "toilet,"
I don't think you're one to judge.
What you doing
on trap five?
Do you fours.
Won't be too long
till they're off now.
- So?
- What was she like?
Well, she's American,
and that's Stan.
That's not Stan. Stan was fat
and bald. That's what I said.
But that's the new Stan, and she's
offering tens on Upper Wisdom...
when everyone else
was offering nines.
- You can't argue with that, can you?
- Upper Wisdom? You're mad!
- She's got no form.
- What, at tens, mate?
I hate
those printed receipts.
All the fucking poetry's been
drained out of this sport.
Here we go.
Away they go!
Come on, come on,
come on.
Oh, look out!
Come on. Come on.
Fuckin' hell.
8,000.
Number two, Lover's Charm.
You could at least have the
decency to gloat, rub it in a bit.
Come on.
We would.
8,000,
plus your stake... 8,800.
Fuck me. Look at all that money.
I almost feel guilty
taking this much off of you.
- Could always give it back.
No, you're all right.
Come on then.
Least you can do is buy us
all a curry. Yeah, why not?
Thanks.
Gonna buy me one
too?
I mean, you did take
all my money.
It doesn't seem right,
a woman being a bookie.
Why not?
It isn't natural.
Actually,
it's a wonderful thing.
All I do is bat my eyelashes and I take
double the money of any other bookie.
I wouldn't bet with someone
just 'cause they were a woman.
Yes, you would.
Yeah.
Yeah, I probably would, yeah.
Who's the lucky girl?
Uh, that's Helen.
She's, uh... She's great.
Gonna treat her to something
nice with your winnings?
Yeah, of course.
Have to keep
the little lady happy, huh?
But the whole point is that the
injury has to be caused by negligence.
So? Negligence by your employer.
We have to prove it was their fault.
Then we can claim compensation.
Mmm.
You've already stated that at lunchtime you
drank in excess of nine pints of lager...
and that your fall was "almost certainly
a result of your 'intoxification'."
So how exactly is that
negligence by your employer?
They shouldn't have asked me to do
any work in that state. I was hammered.
Where were you
last night?
I'm sorry, love.
Things got a bit stupid, and
I ended up on Adrian's couch.
Oh, I see.
With Wagner.
Promise.
I've got something to
show you. Follow me.
Just look into my eyes.
Follow me.
Don't trip off the curb.
And sniff the roses.
What's all this?
How much did we win?
It doesn't matter. Yes, it
does. You know the rules.
Always tell Helen the truth.
So, how much?
Keep the change.
What?
"Congratulations, John.
Hope you like champagne.
Enjoy yourself. Stan. "
Who's Stan?
It's the bookie
I took to the cleaners.
So, why is he sending you gifts?
She.
Stan's a woman.
And I've no idea.
So, you've been hanging about
with strange women, have you?
Should I be worried?
- No. She's fat and bald.
- Ha!
Hey, I'm not kidding.
She is.
We could go somewhere hot.
Yeah? Look at that.
Looks like
the Cook Islands.
Where is that again?
I've no idea.
I just saw it
on TV once.
Can we afford that?
Yeah.
Yeah, I reckon we can.
What?
What is this?
This is the reason
we're celebrating.
You don't recognize it?
No.
Yesterday morning.
Breakfast.
This is that
plastic apple?
Yeah.
And now it's gold.
It's a genuine lucky charm.
"Won at football, but lost
a packet on the horses.
I don't think the foreign ones run the same
as British horses. See you all soon. John. "
- Isn't that nice?
- Mmm.
Bad luck again, huh?
Hello, stranger.
- All right?
- All right. Your card arrived this morning.
- Yeah?
- You're not very brown.
Well, I'm not really the sunbathing
type. What you doing on trap five?
- I'll do you sixes.
- Go on then.
- Is that all you got left?
- Don't start.
- Thought my luck was out.
- Your luck's never been in, mate.
They're off!
I really thought that three
dog at the end was gonna do it.
I could have told you
that dog was going nowhere.
- Why didn't you then?
- 'Cause I'm a bookie, you moron.
Can't believe
how skint I am.
Mmm.
Me too.
Did you ever think of doing
something other than the dogs?
What do you mean?
We like the dogs.
Yeah. We go for the
atmosphere as well, you know.
- Yeah, the dogs are what we know best.
- - Mmm.
Well, you know yourselves,
don't you?
- Meaning?
- Meaning, would you bet on yourself?
I'm lost.
Do you know what this is?
It's the wonderfully named
ghost chili.
Hottest chili
known to man.
So?
So, I'm willing to bet that one
of you can't eat the whole thing...
without crying
or drinking water.
What kind of a bet
is that?
The kind of bet
I like to make.
You can count me out.
My tooth's giving me
enough trouble as it is.
How much?
200 pounds.
- What if we lose?
- Normally we'd agree to a stake.
But tonight
I'll waive it.
Chilies want to be eaten
so their seed can be spread.
But they want it
to be spread far and wide,
so it's no good if it's
eaten by a lazy mammal.
No, what a chili wants is to be
eaten by a bird, and it will be...
because birds
don't have taste buds.
Mammals, on the other hand, do, and
that's how we know you're a mammal.
Shame.
- Really thought
you were gonna do it.
That's when I should have
walked away from her.
But I love a challenge.
Narrator ] The female lays
her eggs in the shallows.
Next, the male releases
a cloud of sperm in the water.
We've all done that,
eh?
Dad.
Sorry, love.
Go on, Freddie. Switch over.
Draw's about to start.
Eh?
I don't know.
Not so long ago someone was
giving me a bloody lecture...
about how the lottery was, uh, just a tax on
the poor, the soft and the bloody desperate.
I wonder who that could be.
Yeah, well, you know how it is.
Announcer ] Good luck, everybody.
What happened to your big win?
It's long gone.
Since then I've had nothing.
Not a sniff.
Next, after six weeks, it's number
18. Second time in the last month...
- Fuckin' hell.
- What's the matter with you?
I think that dentist was better
at giving tips than fixing teeth.
You'd better ask him
for another bloody tip then.
I'm gonna have to go see him.
This is killing me.
One. None. None.
I'll call you, Dad. See you later.
Don't forget to take your
pills. All right, love.
See ya, Freddie. Good night,
John. Good night, love.
Hello, John.
What a surprise.
What are you doing here?
One of the paradoxes of being a
bookie is that when I'm doing well,
my friends must be
doing badly.
The dentist wasn't
a very good gambler.
Yeah, well,
he was a terrible dentist.
So what?
You own this place now?
It's amazing the things
you can win in a bet, huh?
Yeah, well, I'm in agony.
So what am I gonna do?
Why don't you start
by walking me home?
Are you coming?
Did you win this
as well?
Not everybody
gets invited here, John.
What's all this?
Don't you watch
the news?
Forty-two children held hostage by
a 300-pound disgruntled janitor...
with an AK-47.
For them, it's a tragedy.
For others, it's an opportunity.
I don't follow.
Currently taking spread bets on the
number of children that get shot,
the number
that get out alive,
how many hours the whole thing
goes on for, that sort of thing.
That's sick, Stan.
It's a sick world,
John.
How's that tooth?
It really hurts.
Only feels like
it's hanging on by a thread.
Really?
Think you could
pull it out yourself?
What?
Would you pull your tooth
out yourself right now?
No. Don't be silly.
I'm not pulling my tooth out.
Not even for 1,000?
No. That's stupid.
Okay.
Make it 2,000.
What's it to be, John?
Are you a serious gambler or just an
amateur who can't handle a little pain?
What would the stake
have to be?
I don't know. What's
that round your neck?
What, this?
It's just my lucky charm.
That'll do perfectly.
So what do you say?
I bet you 2,000...
that you can't pull
your tooth out right now.
You're on.
Oh, fucking hell!
This is ridiculous.
It's 2,000, John.
Fuck!
Fuck!
Maybe it's not as damaged as they
thought. No, I'll... I'll get it.
Just give me a minute.
Oh, fuck!
Well done, John.
Well done.
Now, on these special bets, there are
just three little rules I need to go over.
Rules?
Yes.
These bets, they stay
private between us.
You don't tell
Adrian or Wagner.
Especially not your wife.
But I don't lie
to Helen.
So don't think of it as lying. Think of
it as being economical with the truth.
- Go on.
- I pick the stake.
Okay.
And you cheat on a bet,
you lose. Understand?
Yeah.
Got it.
Don't you want
your tooth?
No, you're all right.
Keep it.
Fucking hell.
Fuck.
Hello, John. This is unexpected,
eh? Everything all right?
Yeah, yeah. No,
everything's fine, Freddie.
I just came to give you
this. Don't piss it away.
- I don't understand, lad.
- You told me to go back to the dentist.
He gave you a winning tip?
Yeah, sort of.
Well, I'm up again.
Come down the track
with me and celebrate.
No, I'm fine. But you go
and have a good time.
Well, thanks for that.
You sure?
Yeah. Good night.
All right?
All right.
So what have you
gone for?
He's not telling.
What do you mean,
he's not telling?
He's not telling anyone what he's
bet on. He's decided it's unlucky.
That didn't work,
did it?
Eighty on the six dog.
Go! Come on!
Come on!
But it wasn't just
Adrian's luck that was out.
I couldn't pick a winner
to save my life.
Sixty
on the three dog.
Night after night.
Race after race.
I'd never seen
anything like it.
None of us had.
Taking a beating again
tonight.
We all are.
Might as well rip up the form book and
just go with the one with the best name.
I thought that's how
you usually bet.
- At least I don't get money from my mother to come down here.
- She asked me to bet for her.
Yeah, she'd do anything
to get you out the house.
- Don't you say anything about my mother.
- Or what, chili boy? Huh?
Or what?
Jesus, what the fuck have you
done? Where's all your hair gone?
If you must know, my cousin's
learning hairdressing,
and she needed a model,
and, well,
she's got a lot to learn.
Shut it, the pair of you.
It's all right, mate. It's
all right. Keep your hair on.
Fuck off.
What can I say? That
last race was so close.
Uh, yeah.
Look, I was wondering if we could,
um, do one of those other bets.
Are you sure
that's what you want?
Well, any chance of doing something a
lot less painful than pulling a tooth out.
There's all different
kinds of pain.
Question is, what can
you put up as a stake?
Well, I've been
thinking about that.
What about my car?
I mean, it's not great, but it's taxed
till the end of the year and it runs okay.
No. Don't really want
a car. Thanks though.
I want something
a little more personal.
Something that actually
has some value to it.
Know what I mean?
Not really, no.
What sort of things did
you get as wedding gifts?
Wedding gifts?
Against a week in the bathroom?
Now that was the kind of bet
I could win.
John?
John?
John?
John?
Good morning, John.
Come down
and let us in.
You don't catch me out
that easy.
Hang on.
Bruno here is gonna make
me a copy of your key...
so I can come around
and check on you.
- Well, I... - Don't worry.
I'll give it back when the bet's done.
I'm gonna
use your toilet.
So, how's it been so far?
Oh, you know,
just, uh, dandy, Stan.
Up until now, that is.
Yeah, sorry. He could use
some work on his social skills.
Don't worry.
Nearly done.
Fucking hell.
You're still here. Do you
want me to ring the doctor?
No, it's all right.
So get out the bathroom then.
- I can't.
- Why not? I thought you were better.
Well, I just can't.
It's, uh... It's my stomach.
So let me ring the doctor.
No. It's all right, love.
I've just got the shits.
I'll be back late.
Don't wait up.
- Watch it. You'll break a window.
- Where have you been?
Well,
I've been sick.
So?
- You coming to the track tonight
then or what? - No, I can't. I told you.
Helen doesn't think
you're that sick.
Well, I am.
Ah, please yourself.
Hello, John.
How the fuck
did you get in here?
I've got a key. Remember? Just
here to see how you're doing.
Well, I'm going mental, Stan.
That's how I'm doing.
Did you really think sitting here
for a whole week would be that easy?
- You could give up if you want.
- No, you're all right.
I'm halfway through this one
and I'm gonna win it.
Mmm.
Well, I'm bored. How about a
side bet? Spice things up a bit.
All right.
What do you have in mind?
What about we get you out
of these stinky clothes?
Stan, I'm a married man.
I don't wanna
see you naked.
I wanna dress you up.
Fuck off.
Come on. Just a little
role-play. No. No way. No.
Extra 500?
John?
Have you seen
the fruit bowl?
You know, the nice one
Mum got us for the wedding?
John?
I said, have you
seen the fruit bowl?
You know, the nice one
Mum got us for the wedding.
What the hell
have you done?
It's Wagner.
He was here this
afternoon with his cousin.
His cousin? Yeah. She's, uh...
She's doing her NVQ or HND or
whatever the fuck it is in styling.
And she needed another mug
to practice on.
Well, the poor girl hasn't
got a clue, obviously.
Wagner hasn't got a cousin.
- I don't know what's going on, but I don't like this.
- Nothing's going on. Honest.
- If you're lying to me... - I'm not
lying to you. I've been really sick, Helen.
Just get out
of my dress...
and get out of
the bloody bathroom.
No, Helen, wait.
Shit.
Don't worry.
She stepped out.
You know,
I'm impressed with you.
You did really well.
Here's the lovely fruit bowl
Helen's mother gave you.
The 2,000,
plus 500 for the makeover.
Now this bet's not due
to finish until midnight,
but I have another
rather pressing engagement.
So I'm gonna trust you to
stay here for four more hours.
Not gonna cheat now,
are you, John?
No. Course not.
I mean, I've got tons to do anyway.
Look at this place. It's a mess.
How are you finding
all the lying?
What lying?
I'm not lying.
Very good.
You're a natural.
She was right.
I was a natural.
And if I could win this, think
how much more I could take her for.
Hello?
Hey. Pavlin, Freddie?
Thanks.
Thank God.
What happened?
What happened?
He hadn't taken
his pills.
I'd only just picked up his new
prescription, but he couldn't find them.
God knows what he's done with them.
Oh, shit.
I-I'll be two seconds.
Evening, John.
Where are you?
- I'm in the bathroom, like I said I'd be.
- I'm sure you could prove it.
Well, uh, yeah.
Of course I can.
Go and flush the toilet.
Do what?
Go and flush the toilet.
Just to prove that you're
still in the bathroom.
Well, yeah, just give me a
minute. Let me get out the bath.
There.
You happy now?
Thanks, John.
That's all I needed.
Oh, before I go,
a bit of advice.
Don't take Adrian's killer
tip. That dog will lose.
Adrian's killer tip?
What dog?
Stan? Stan?
He will be all right,
won't he?
Yeah. Come on. Freddie's
tough. He'll be fine.
I didn't recognize him
lying there.
I've never seen him
so still.
I've never seen him
so quiet.
I know.
He can be a gobshite.
Yes, he's opinionated.
When I was young, he used
to take me down the track.
He was always arguing with the
bookies and getting thrown out.
Yeah.
Good memories.
Not all of them.
That life
took everything he had,
and now he's just
stuck in that room.
I don't want it
to happen to us.
No, don't be silly.
It won't.
It can't.
Remember
when we got married and...
you promised you'd always
be honest with me.
You swore that.
Yeah, I know.
So... what was going on
with the bathroom?
I just felt rotten all week.
Honest.
Hey.
You just have to trust me.
Shit.
I was looking for that.
Where was it?
Uh, yeah, babes.
I had to use it
to be sick in.
Sorry.
Lucky Trap.
You what?
Lucky Trap.
It's Adrian's
new thing.
Not telling anyone didn't work, so now he's
telling everyone. See if that changes his luck.
Well, I'm sharing the
love around, ain't I?
What did you get Lucky
Trap at? Six to one.
You missed out then. Stan's
offering seven to one now.
Didn't bet with Stan.
That's the next thing.
We're betting ABS.
What the fuck is ABS? Anyone But Stan.
Something's gotta break
this losing streak.
Don't forget.
Lucky Trap.
I'm telling you, it's the best tip
I've had in ages. It's a killer.
Evening, John.
So what's it gonna be?
You know what?
Think I'll give it
a miss.
Smart choice.
Lucky Trap.
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, fuck, fuck!
- It's all right, Ade. It's not your fault.
- It was a good tip.
I am so broke.
I put everything
on that dog.
Now I can't even afford
a fucking pint.
- What are we gonna do?
- - I can always lend you a bit.
Tide you over
if you want.
How come you got
money left?
I didn't bet
on Lucky Trap.
What? What did you
bet on then?
Nothing.
You didn't bet
on anything? Why not?
Stan told me not to.
What?
Well, she told me
not to take your tip, mate.
Did she tell you
the dog would lose?
Yeah, she told me.
What, and you didn't
say anything?
You just let us come out here
like a pack of twats and lose it.
- You wouldn't have listened if I told you Stan said it.
- But that's not the point.
What is the fucking point?
You just don't get it, do you?
It used to be the three of us, but
now it's just all about you and Stan.
Oh, come on, Ade, mate. It's
not like that. Yes, it is!
That's exactly what
it's fucking well like.
It's not about us
anymore.
It's just all about her.
I've had enough.
Stop the car.
- What?
- Come on, Ade. I'm sorry.
Stop the fucking car!
Fucking hell.
Adrian, mate.
Where are you going?
You disgust me.
I'd rather walk.
Adrian!
- Fuck's sake.
- Leave him.
Why didn't you say something?
'Cause I know what he's like.
And 'cause he's right.
You should've told us.
All we can do now
is let him walk it off.
He'll be back
in the morning.
That was the last time
I ever saw Adrian alive.
Police reckon he wandered for about half
a mile or so until he got to the station.
There was no waiting room,
no toilet.
Reckon he went for a piss.
It's funny how one minute you're
sitting in the car with someone,
and the next they're gone.
Can't believe
he's actually in here.
Not much to show
for a life, is it?
It's what you call the origin
of the phrase "cleaned out. "
What do you mean,
"cleaned out"?
You know.
You know he wasn't
just betting on the dogs.
What do you mean?
Come off it, John.
I haven't got a cousin learning
hairdressing. You know that.
Mate, we shouldn't be
talking about this.
Why not?
'Cause of the rules?
Well...
Well, fuck the rules.
Adrian's dead.
I've had it with Stan.
Mate, it hasn't got
anything to do with Stan.
You can't talk about her
like that.
Can't I?
Maybe we just haven't got
to that stage with her yet.
It was an accident.
That's what
the police said. Right?
I'm not convinced.
She's odd, yes.
She's not gonna kill someone.
I've had enough
of her stupid bets.
I didn't hear you come in. Ah.
- How was it?
- You know. It was never gonna be a bundle of laughs.
Come here.
I'm so sorry.
I feel awful going out
and leaving you here.
Are you sure you don't want me to stay?
No. No, go out.
Have some fun.
Go see the girls.
You sure?
Yeah.
Yeah, I might go down the track
later. It's what he would have wanted.
You do that.
Okay.
Have fun.
Stan?
Hello?
Hello?
Stan?
Who the fuck are you?
John.
Who the fuck are you?
Raymond.
If this is another test,
you can piss right off.
I'm not budging.
Not now.
No. No.
I was looking for Stan.
The front door was open.
You're not trying
to make me move?
Honest.
What are you doing?
I'm not meant
to discuss it.
So it's a bet?
Jesus. Are you sitting
on an egg?
Of course. Why else would
I be on a tossing nest?
You've got to hatch it,
haven't you?
Yeah.
What is it?
Ostrich.
So why are you
making chicken noises?
Well, do you know what a
fucking ostrich sounds like?
I'll do anything
to hurry it up.
How long does it take?
Average incubation period
is 42 days.
Forty-two days?
How long have you been on it?
Thirty-seven.
And I'm going insane.
I've got piles.
She won't even
give me a book to read.
I just sit
and cluck and knit.
What are you knitting?
A hare.
You know,
for the dogs.
It's nice.
Look, I don't know
why you're here,
but take my advice
and walk right now.
Don't look back.
She doesn't care
about money.
She just wants
to ruin your life.
While I'm here
on this egg,
my wife's giving birth
to our first kid.
I'm missing all that.
And Stan loves it.
I'm warning you.
She'll suck the life
out of you.
She's back.
Get out.
Get out
and shut the door.
- Why?
- Go. Fuck off.
I'm not supposed
to see anybody.
Go on. Fuck off.
Fuck off!
Hello, John.
Make yourself at home.
I-I'm sorry. The, uh...
The front door was open.
You know, everyone thought
this siege would be over by now.
Not me.
Cleaning up now.
So, how are you, John?
I've been better.
Take it
you know about Adrian.
No.
Honestly,
you haven't heard?
No. No.
What happened?
We had an argument
coming back from the track,
after that dog
you said would lose did.
There was an accident,
and now he's dead.
So if you want to know how
I am, Stan, I'm a bit gutted.
It's a shame.
What...
Maybe you need something
to take your mind off of it.
I need five grand, Stan.
You know, money
never made anyone happy.
What would I have to do?
Has to be
something special.
Go on.
I bet I could
make you kiss me.
Is that all?
Yeah. That's all.
Well, how long
would I have to resist you?
Five minutes
should do it.
What, I don't kiss you for five minutes,
and you're gonna give me five grand?
Obviously the stake has
to be something meaningful.
Hello, John.
What are you doing
with my fish?
I popped round
to give you your key back.
And I saw the fish, so I
thought I'd bring them along.
Why?
So?
How about it, John?
Oh, no way.
They're Helen's.
I mean, she loves those fish.
I can't. No.
One fish. Five thousand
against one tiny goldfish.
I don't see
how you could lose.
Deal?
Deal.
Okay. Ready?
Look at me, John.
Just look at me.
You get me, John.
Now kiss me.
You held out
longer than most.
Good effort.
What...
However, we did have a deal.
Bruno, take your pick.
No, Bruno. Wait.
No! Wait.
Better luck next time.
Be seeing you around, John.
Shh.
What's up?
I got your message.
There's something
we need to talk about.
What is it?
Well, I was gonna tell you tonight,
but I decided it couldn't wait.
So tell me.
Well, maybe we haven't been as
careful as we could have been.
What do you mean?
I'm pregnant.
You're what?
We're gonna have a baby.
Oh, my God.
Is that... good?
Is that good? It's more
than good. It's amazing.
It's the greatest thing in the whole
world ever. I'm gonna be a father.
I'll have to give up work
for a while.
Oh, my God. Y...
Look, I've been thinking
anyway, you know,
maybe it's time
I got a proper job.
Something with a bit more
of a steady income.
Make sure it pays well.
I quite enjoy our luxuries
every now and again.
Yeah, I know,
but I'm gonna be a father.
Maybe I should take
a bit more responsibility.
Oh, God.
I've gotta get back.
Don't want 'em to sack me,
not now.
You have just made me the
happiest man in the world.
That's what you said
when I married you.
You've just
done it again.
Oh. When I left this
morning, Leo was missing.
Yeah, babes. I meant
to tell you about that.
Uh, when I came in
last night,
found him floating
on top of the bowl.
What did you do with him?
Gave him
a traditional fish funeral.
Flushed him down the loo.
Poor Kate.
She'll be lonely now.
It's all right.
I'll get you another one.
Careful.
She's upstairs.
Last door on the right.
Look, before you say a word, I
don't want to speak about yesterday.
My lips are sealed.
I wanna do
one final bet, Stan.
- Oh, really?
- Yeah. One last bet, and then that's it.
I'm out. I'm done. I'm finished
with the life. I've had enough.
You sound like
a man transformed.
Well, I am.
Impending fatherhood
will do that.
Wait a minute.
How'd you know...
Women can sense
these things, John.
I just want one last win.
A proper amount. Something I
can use to make a clean break.
How much did you
have in mind?
Fifty grand.
That's a lot of money,
John.
Yeah, I know.
So what do you reckon?
Oh, I have something really
special for you tonight.
John, I'd like you
to meet Gail.
John, Gail. Gail, John.
Take a seat, John.
Gail here is a doctor.
Tell John what kind of
doctor you are, Gail.
My PhD is in biological
tissue engineering.
She is also
a professional gambler.
Not a very good one,
are you, Gail?
No, Stan.
Mmm. Thought she could work a nice
betting system through mathematics.
Now she owes me a favor.
This all clear so far?
Crystal, Stan.
Gail, maybe
you'd like to explain the bet.
Basically, I do research
in creating new parts...
for people who have been in an
accident and may have lost something.
So that instead of
transplanting from a donor,
we can just
grow it from scratch.
Well, that's great.
But what's the bet?
Up till now,
we've used mice.
You might have seen a picture of a
mouse with an ear growing on its back.
That's my department.
Well, your parents must
be very proud of you, Gail.
But what's the bet?
To substitute you
for the mouse.
You what?
We want to grow an ear
on you.
Are you out of
your fucking mind?
What are you talking about,
you want to grow an ear on me?
Really, it's quite safe.
Just a local anesthetic
and a tiny little incision.
No. I'm not gonna let you grow
an ear on me. You're insane.
Once it grows, we'll take it right
off. You won't even have a scar.
No!
There's nothing
to be scared of.
I'm not doing it.
It's ridiculous.
Oh, fucking hell.
You wanted the money.
What would the stake
have to be?
That's a good question.
- Have to be a little more substantial than a goldfish.
- Yeah, I figured.
How about your wedding ring?
No way. No.
That's what I want.
Come on, John.
50,000 for a little ear
to grow.
No, I can't.
Get that fucking thing
out of here!
Fucking ostrich.
So, the bet.
On or off?
It's on.
Gail, get your equipment
ready.
You know you would have
done the same.
Fifty grand, Freddie.
Can't turn that down.
Not on a surefire winner
like this.
Tell me I'm right. After this one,
I'm walking away. I promise you.
Even though I love
your daughter,
you know I don't want to lie to her
about this, but fucking hell, Freddie.
50,000.
I can't turn that down.
You wouldn't.
What are you doing here?
Oh, I just popped in.
Have a word with the
old bugger, you know?
See how he is.
Tell him about his grandson.
What's this?
Where'd you get that from?
Who gives a fuck where
it came from? Look at it.
Yeah, I know it looks bad,
but there's a perfectly
good reason for this.
I'm guessing that's Stan.
- It was for a bet.
- And did you win?
No. That's the worst bit.
So, what was the bet?
That you couldn't kiss her?
Well, yeah.
And you couldn't even manage
to win that?
No, I...
It wasn't like that.
I don't... I don't know
what happened to me.
All the time we've been
together, I've said one thing:
You tell me the truth, John.
That's all I've ever asked
of you. And you failed.
You've been lying, cheating,
seeing people behind my back.
It wasn't like that.
It was just a bet.
It's all just a game to you,
isn't it? It's all just a laugh.
No, no. Helen.
These were proper bets.
I won good money.
We won good money.
That's just what I remember
my dad telling my mum.
My baby's not having
the childhood I had.
It's over, John.
What do you mean?
Us.
You lied to me,
and now it's over.
Give me your keys.
Don't be daft.
Give me your keys.
Helen.
Keys.
Where's your wedding ring?
Oh, shit. Now, that
needs an explanation.
Your wedding ring, John.
Your wedding ring.
- W...
- Does nothing have any meaning for you?
No. H-Helen.
Look.
- You see that? This is gonna win us 50,000.
- Jesus. What have you done?
- I did it for us.
- You're scaring me.
No, Helen, wait.
Wait!
Shit.
Oh, come on.
Helen!
Helen, please let me in.
Helen, come on, love.
Oh, fucking hell.
Helen...
Helen, please. We need
to talk about this.
I've been...
I'm sorry.
She doesn't wanna see you, John. Can't
you just tell her I wanna talk to her?
Yeah, I've told her. I've told her every
single time you've asked me to ask her,
and she still says the same.
She doesn't wanna speak to you.
Helen.
So you might as well go home. I can't go
home, can I, 'cause she's locked me out.
You can't hang around here
all day.
I'm gonna tell you this
one last time.
I don't want to speak to you.
I don't want to see you.
I don't want anything more to do with
you. Is that simple enough for you?
- Helen, I'm sorry. Please.
- Too late.
Can't we just talk about it? No.
There's nothing more
to talk about.
Helen, wait. Look, I know I've done
some pretty fucking stupid things,
and I can't tell you
how sorry I am.
But I promise you, I promise things
will be different from now on.
You come here
and try and apologize...
and you haven't even got the decency
to put your wedding ring back on.
Oh, fucking hell, Helen.
How dare you?
Get this into your thick head.
It's over.
We're over.
Leave me alone. We're done.
Stan?
Where's Stan?
Not here.
So where is she?
I need to see her.
She's got a new place.
Putting on some races
of her own.
What are you talking about?
She'll be there
this evening.
You just saved my life.
John.
Just in time.
Come take a seat
and have some dinner.
No, that's all right.
I'm not hungry. Mmm.
How's your ear doing?
It's kind of what I've
come to see you about.
Suits you, John.
You should keep it.
So tender. Best ostrich I've ever had.
Seriously,
you should try some.
Stan, I need to
talk to you.
So talk.
Well, it's about the bet.
What about the bet?
Well, I got a bit carried away. I should
never have put my wedding ring up as a stake.
Oh, no?
No.
So, look, I was wondering
if we could just cancel the bet.
You know, forget the money,
forget everything.
Just give me back my wedding
ring and call it quits.
No.
What do you mean, "no"?
A bet's a bet, John.
Come on, Stan. Have a heart. We're
talking about my marriage here.
Which is up shit creek 'cause you
sent a fucking picture to Helen.
And why would you do that?
- Actually, that wasn't me. That was Bruno.
- Yeah, but why?
Why do you think?
- It was a bet.
- Exactly.
And a bet's a bet.
You agreed to it.
I agreed to it.
You knew the risk
you were taking, John,
and you have to follow a bet
through to the end.
Adrian knew that.
What do you mean,
Adrian knew?
Oh, my God.
You did kill Adrian.
No. Electricity killed Adrian.
Greed killed Adrian.
I just gave him
good odds.
Wagner was right.
"Wagner was right. "
Oh. Look at the time. I
think you're gonna enjoy this.
Is that Wagner?
What the fuck is going on?
You're just in time
for the first race.
Which one do you like?
This is sick.
What are you doing?
Come on, John. I'll give you
a free bet on this one.
Can't believe
you're doing this.
I quite like trap five.
Seems eager.
Stan.
Go!
Yeah!
Whoo!
Told you. Trap five. This is disgusting.
Oh, lighten up, John.
It's just a little flutter.
Come on, Stan. Give me back my
wedding ring. Please. I'm begging you.
Now, I'm not
an unreasonable person.
Maybe I could offer you
a solution.
Go on. Anything.
Oi. Just let me do
this one more bet,
and you can have
anything you want.
Unfortunately,
you have nothing to bet with.
You can have anything you want
as a stake, Stan. Just name it.
Anything?
Anything.
Okay.
What about you?
What do you mean, what about me? You.
You put yourself up as
a stake. I don't get it.
Your soul.
What?
Your soul.
That's the stake for the bet.
What are you talking about, my
soul? You can't bet on a soul.
That's the stake.
Take it or leave it, John.
All right. What the fuck. I don't
even believe in the soul anyway.
So come on then.
What's the bet?
Think you'll like
this one.
Bruno?
Oh, what the fuck
are you doing?
Stop!
Freddie's not looking so good,
is he, John?
I said what the fuck
are you doing with him?
One last bet.
That's what you wanted.
So here it is,
double or quits.
What's he doing here?
Isn't it obvious?
He's the bet.
- Wh-What are you doing? -
Relax. There's nothing in there.
- What are you doing?
- Nothing but air.
So what's the bet?
Simple, really.
Chances are Freddie's
not gonna get any better.
So I'm betting you can't do
the decent thing...
send him on his way.
What, kill him?
Such a brutal way
of putting it.
All you have to do
is push the plunger down...
and the oxygen bubbles
in his bloodstream...
will send him off
quickly and peacefully.
Really, you'll be
doing him a favor.
Fuck off!
I'm not gonna kill Freddie.
Then you lose the bet
and I take your soul.
Take my soul? What's that
even supposed to mean, Stan?
If you lose, you'll be beholden to Stan
for the rest of your mortal span and beyond.
You're hers.
You can't be serious.
Do you think I want
to be here, with her?
You think I enjoy
any of this?
Fucking hell.
You wanted a bet, John.
So what are you gonna do, huh?
- I'm not gonna kill Freddie.
- Then you're mine.
No, I'm not yours.
Then kill Freddie.
No. You're insane.
I'm not doing it.
Bet's a bet, John.
I could make it
so you win every time.
I'm not killing him. What
else do you have left, huh?
Helen's gone.
I'll win her back.
You've lost her...
and your unborn son.
- I can't kill him.
- I could give you more money than you've ever dreamt of.
- No.
- You could start again. You could find a new wife.
- No, I'm not listening to you.
- All you have to do is the merciful thing, really.
No.
Then you're mine.
Stop saying that!
You've lost everything. You
have nothing left here, John.
Why are you
doing this to us?
You do it
to yourselves.
This is
your last chance, John.
Kill Freddie, and you could
have anything you want.
Don't do it,
and you're mine.
It's time
to make a decision.
Time's up.
Kill him.
You're mine now, John.
Get the fuck away
from my dad!
You come near him,
and I'll kill you.
I doubt it.
But it's okay.
I've got what I wanted.
You lost, John.
Come on, boys.
I'm s...
I'm so sorry.
See you around, John.
For the first two weeks,
I turned up at 10:00 AM,
until someone pointed out
work started at 9:00.
I had no idea.
I thought everywhere opened
the same time as the bookies.
Do I like the job?
No. I hate it.
Hi. My name's Rob.
I'm a compulsive gambler.
And I joined Gamblers Anonymous, tried
to make sense of everything that happened.
And sometimes they won,
sometimes they lost.
Mainly they lost.
For a while,
I was on Freddie's sofa.
He got better pretty quick.
The old bugger even started
getting out of the house.
Then, thank God,
I graduated to our own sofa.
And then finally
she let me back into bed.
Stan never turned up again.
And we never went
near the track, just in case.
Don't know if I believe in the
soul and whether I've lost it.
But I do know life
will never be normal again...
and I know Helen
still doesn't really trust me.
But hopefully,
one day soon,
when the baby comes,
our luck will change.
Just don't ask me to bet on it.
Boys, I told you the market
couldn't keep going on like that,
but you didn't listen.
So, double or quits,
like we agreed.
Two of these have parachutes.
One of them
has Bruno's lunch.
Really can't beat those odds.