1
Derek: So, what do you think?
Andrew: It's good, it's a
little cliche, don't you think?
-No, that's not cliche.
That's how every found
footage movie starts.
-I know, that's why
i called it cliche.
Mark: Yeah, that or a
fake police evidence tag.
-Yeah, and plus, if the
bodies were never recovered
you know, how did they
find the footage?
-Yeah, no, of course, I'm
saying this looks good--
-oh, no this looks great!
Yeah, the text and everything,
it's very impressive.
-Thank you.
-Yeah, no, absolutely, but
again, in this first part,
it doesn't say
anything about why
they were filming
in the first place,
it just says that the
footage was found.
What footage?
-The vacation video footage?
-No, I know that, but the
audience needs to know that.
-Yeah.
-Right.
-No, of course they do.
-Right.
-Right, no, I'm saying, yeah,
we should put that in there.
-I agree, that's a great idea.
-Obviously, but it looks
good and we should add that.
-It looks great, and we
should put that in there.
-There it is then, it's
happening, we're making movies.
This guy right here comin'
up with good ideas,
that's why I hired
him as director.
Let's put it in, rock star.
-Terrific.
-It's not gonna fit dude.
-We got everything?
-This is it man.
-It's everything.
-This'll fit in there.
-Is this the new pa?
Derek: Yep.
Andrew: Oh good, he can
give us a hand. We need it.
Derek: Hey! There she is!
-I'm good, how are you?
- I'm good too.
Lily, I want you to meet Andrew.
This is our director.
Mark: Hi Andrew, Lily.
This is my brother mark.
-Hey mark.
-Mark, this is
Lily, our new pa.
Mark: I'd shake
your hand, but--
-you're filming.
Mark: Yeah.
-It is very
expensive sound gear.
Good stuff, top
shelf stuff here,
probably seen these, you
know, on set, people do that.
This is my boom stick.
Shop smart, shop s-mart.
-Okay, good point, except
that's not gonna be enough.
Hundreds, thousands of
movies get made every year,
never seen the light of day
because they don't have
a huge movie star or
big special effects,
which we don't have
the budget for,
so we have to find a way to
make people pay attention to us.
We need to generate
free publicity.
-Okay.
-But how do you do that?
How do you make free press?
Well, the way I see it,
there are two ways to do it.
One, create controversy, right.
You piss the right people off,
they will write about you.
So, I got to thinking,
you know what,
let's write in like a
pedophile catholic priest,
that'll get the
catholics all riled up.
-Don't do that though.
-I'm not going to.
-Oh my god.
-Because there is another
way to get free press,
and that is to be the
first at something.
-Okay
-sharknado! Yes? Right?
Deadly aquatic life forms,
deadly weather patterns,
first movie to combine them,
total piece of shit as a film,
but it sold at afm last
year based on the concept--
-wait, I know, but
again, I feel like
"piece of shit" is not
what we're goin' for.
-Of course not, but what if we
make a kick ass scary movie,
and we are also the first
at something noteworthy.
That would be like the
best of both worlds.
Right? Come for the concept,
stay for the great film.
-Okay, so what are we
gonna be the first to do?
-Get ready to have
your minds blown.
Hold onto your knickers, because
as of this morning we are
no longer just shooting
the greatest found footage
horror movie ever made.
We are shooting...
Drum roll.
Drum roll, can i
get a drum roll?
-I don't do sound effects.
He's not gonna stop
until you drum roll.
-Trust me you are going to
want to be doing a drum roll
when you find out.
- Okay, okay. Very
good.
-We are shooting the first ever
found footage horror movie...
In 3D.
-What?
Derek: We're shooting in 3D.
-We're shooting in 3D?
-We are shooting in 3D.
-How are we shooting in 3D?
-That's what I'm showing you.
Check it out, this is
the camera, look at it.
-No, I'm sorry---
right lens, left lens.
Just like in reality.
-I mean, how does that even
make sense in the story?
Why would your
character film in 3D?
-Why wouldn't he film in 3D?
-Well, because in the
premise of spectre of death--
-spectre of death 3D.
-That's very good, okay,
in the premise of the film,
it's a vacation video.
So, who shoots their
vacation videos in 3D?
-I don't know...
Japanese people?
-He's probably accurate.
-No, okay, whatever, my
character is now a filmmaker.
I'm not a documentarian.
I shoot everything in 3D,
I'm a 3D enthusiast.
-That's not a thing.
-It is now.
-Look at this.
- Ah ,
that's pretty cool.
The monitor's in 3D too,
look at this, mark.
Look, watch.
Mark: What?
-Do somethin'.
Andrew: That's terrific.
-Because not only are we
shooting the first ever
found footage
horror movie in 3D.
We are also shooting
the first ever
behind the scenes
documentary... also in 3D.
Andrew: How much did
you spend on this thing?
-Doesn't matter.
We can return it.
-Do you have enough
batteries for this thing?
Derek: Dude, quit
pissing in the pool,
and just get into it already.
Look at that, you're hanging
onto a goldmine right there.
Andrew: It's beautiful,
don't get me wrong.
-This is a very
impressive gimmick.
-I wish you would've told
me about this sooner.
-I wish I had
thought of it sooner.
-I still vote for
the pedophile priest.
-We're not doing
the pedophile priest
- ahh.
It's like I can touch you.
-I feel like, you
know,, it's...
Alright, so apparently
we're shooting
the first ever found
footage horror film in 3D,
and I've got about 12 hours
to figure out how
this thing works,
and to rearrange my whole plan
for how I'm gonna
shoot it... in 3D.
Hey Carl.
3D.
-That has absolutely
no effect on sound.
Andrew: Derek?
Derek: Yo.
-It's gettin' a little late.
Derek: Yeah, it is.
-Well, we still don't
have our lead actress.
Derek: Yeah, no shit,
tell me somethin' new.
-Do you want me to call her?
Derek: Do whatever
the fuck you wanna do.
Andrew: What does
that even mean?
Lily: I'll call her.
-Can you? Thank you.
It's just gonna
be a little tough
to do the film without her.
-It's gonna be a lot tough
to do the film with
her, trust me.
Carl: Derek and Amy, I've
worked with several times.
The last time we worked together
was probably about
six months ago
on the indiegogo campaign.
Right around the time
that their marriage
was finally, um...
How do I put it delicately?
It's appropriate that we
are filming a horror movie.
-Andrew, hi, sorry I'm late.
-No worries, you're
fine, you're here.
Can we get you anything?
You want water?
You want
something to eat?
-No, I'm okay. I'm
sorry, I'm just late.
Andrew: You're
fine, no worries.
-What's this? The
behind the scenes?
Andrew: A little bit, yeah.
-Yeah.
What?
Mark!
Hi! Is that you?
Oh, it's so good to see you.
Mark: It's good
to see you too.
- How's it goin'?
Mark: Good.
Derek: Andrew.
Mark: Okay, so are
you excited to be here?
-Yes, yeah, it feels
really good to be here.
I'm excited to be working
with Derek again,
and Andrew's a
wonderful director,
and just glad to be
on a feature again.
I've been doing a lot of--
mark: Hold on, sorry, i
need to adjust your mic.
-I wasn't really expecting
to be doing this
right now anyway.
I'm not really made up.
-It's fine, you look fine.
You look...
You look b-b-...
You look beautiful.
-Thank you.
Can I ask you a question?
Mark: Mmm-hmm.
-Did Derek say anything to
you about me, or us at all?
I'm just trying to piece out why
he asked me to still do this.
After everything, it just
seemed a little strange.
And I don't know, I thought
maybe... you guys are close,
and he said something.
Did he?
-Nope.
-Are you sure?
-Yeah.
Derek: Here we go! En route!
Derek: Is he sleeping?
Mark: Yeah.
-Lily, do you have
the forks? The forks?
-Don't.
-Awe, leg cramp, oh god.
Herr director.
-Hey.
-How long till we actually
make it to the actual location?
-About an hour and a half.
Andrew: Where did you
find this place anyway?
-Amy's family owns it.
Her uncle or somethin' built
it during the depression.
-She's asleep.
Carl: Very funny,
Derek, hilarious.
-Is this good?
Mark: Yeah.
-Okay.
Mark: So basically,
just talk about how you
became involved with
the spectre of death.
-Oh, okay.
Yeah, I met Derek at
a party last week,
and he asked me if I wanted
to come help out on the film,
and told me that it was
gonna be a horror film,
and I absolutely
love horror films,
so I couldn't pass it up.
And yeah, I don't really
know what I'm doing,
but I'm learning a lot,
so that's really really cool.
I've done YouTube stuff,
but I don't think that counts,
and this is like
lights, and every--
check this shit out. There's a
couple of old dudes back
there sittin on the porch
straight out of
fuckin' deliverance.
Get the camera.
-For the behind the scenes?
-No, we're gonna shoot em'.
We're gonna shoot the movie.
-Wait, really?
-Yeah, yeah, dude go.
You've got nothin' to lose--
-they're not actors.
-It's gonna awesome, dude.
Wait'll you see these guys.
Get the camera.
-Alright.
-So, this is how
this is gonna happen.
I'm gonna call action,
and then Derek here
is going to ask you
for directions to a farm nearby,
and we need you to tell us
to stay away from the farm.
It's a bad place and
bad things happen.
Just tell us to stay away.
Sound good?
-Yeah.
-Is this candid camera?
Andrew: No, no sir,
that show hasn't been
around for a long time.
-We just want that
ominous dark feeling like,
"oh, we're goin' into a
bad place, stay away."
-Right, sound good?
-Yeah, okay.
Andrew: Alright, here we go,
we're gonna give this a shot.
And action.
Derek: Hey, we're
lookin', do you guys know
how to get to like the old
buford farm out there?
-Yeah I do, you go
down this way to the y,
and you take a left--
Andrew: Cut, cut!
Okay, thank you.
So... we need you to tell
us to stay away from there.
-You don't really
want the directions.
Andrew: That's
right, that's right.
-We want it to be
like a warning.
We say, "how do you get there?"
And you're like,
"you stay away from there."
-Yeah, I got you now.
-Alrighty, we still slated,
speed, and... action.
Derek: Good afternoon.
-Yeah, howdy.
Derek: Do you guys know
how to get out to the--
-you don't wanna go
out there, it's scar--
- cut, cut!
I'm sorry, he just needs to be
able to get the question out.
- Oh yeah.
Andrew: Yeah, alright,
so we'll take this again.
All set, and action.
Derek: Good afternoon.
-Afternoon.
-Do you know how to get,
we're trying to find
old man buford's place,
I think, that's out there?
-Yeah, I know how to find it.
It's out there.
And you don't wanna
go out there.
- Woooooo! -
Why not?
-Why not go out there?
I'll tell you why not...
Bad things happen out there.
- Yeah, bad things.
-Alrighty, and cut.
-Thank you guys.
That is what we like
to call awesome.
Amy: Thank you gentlemen.
Derek: That was fantastic.
-You guys are amazing.
One in a million.
-Happy to help.
-Thank you guys.
Amy: Thank you.
Lily: Sign the release form.
-What kind of movie
did you say this was?
Lily: It's a horror film.
-Oh really, and one of them,
what do they call them?
Torture porns? Like saw?
Mark: No, it's a ghost story.
-Yeah, it's found footage.
-And you're filming
here in Gonzales?
Mark: A little ways away.
It's an old place
off of route 12.
-You're not talking about
old Rufus Mitchell's place
up there on the lake, are you?
Mark: Yeah, i
guess, I think so.
-No, no, no.
You don't go to that place.
No.
-Okay, thank you.
Have a great day.
That was weird.
-Wait a second, are you
saying that the place
we're actually going
to is haunted?
-No, it's not actually haunted.
-Stories, what stories?
-Okay, so then it is haunted.
I mean... that's how a
haunted place gets--
-no, it's just like old family
superstition bullshit
or whatever.
-Everything you're saying
makes it sound worse.
I'm just saying, you know,
you've got young people
who have never been
on a movie set,
and you're bringing them out...
You don't bring a film
crew to a haunted house
to film a horror movie.
Have you not seen, like...
Every horror movie ever?
-Dude, it's just old
local kid scary stories
that they try to spook
themselves with.
-Kids? Those are the oldest
kids I've ever seen in my life.
Those were not kids
telling us a story.
The fucking cast of
cocoon is freaked out
by this place, right?
So it's just not cool
is all I'm saying, because you
know, she's freaked out now,
and it's just not
cool to do that.
That's it.
Not cool.
Derek: Yep.
Andrew: This is us?
Derek: This is us, I believe.
Andrew: Mark, you're
getting all this, yeah?
Derek: Oh shit, there it is.
Andrew: Holy shit.
Carl: Are you serious?
Lily: Oh, it looks so cool.
Andrew: Holy shit.
Mark: Wow.
Andrew: You first.
-Whoa.
Amy: This is crazy!
Amy: Wow, this is great.
Derek: Nope.
Mark: Nothing?
-We have status zero on the
electricity at the moment.
Lily: Look at this old piano.
Derek: Oh my god, no way.
-Whoo!
That's cool.
Amy: No,
i don't think so.
Derek: Wow, it's just
like somebody... left it.
Lily: Ugh, look
at this fridge.
Oh god, oh.
It smells bad.
Carl: That smells horrible.
-Oh shit.
Derek: Wow.
Amy, well done.
Lily: What's that?
Mark: Hmm?
Lily: What's that?
Andrew: What's what?
Carl: What is that?
Andrew: Oh Jesus.
Lily: Maybe it's just,
they spilled something?
Carl: That's disturbing.
Andrew: It's not a spill.
Whoa, we got light.
-Found the breaker!
Derek: What, the chair?
Carl: No no no.
Mark: No, the stain.
Derek: What? I mean,
it's an old place.
It's gonna have some
stains and stuff.
Nothing.
There's a bunch of weird
stuff around, look,
there's water stains there.
Mark: Carl?
Hey Carl?
Carl?
Carl: What? What?
Mark: Do you hear that?
Carl: Hear what?
Mark: Shh. Listen.
Carl: What the fuck is that?
Mark: I don't know, but
where's your sound gear?
Carl: It's moving.
Whatever it is, it's
fucking moving.
Mark: Moving?
Lily: What are
you guys doing?
Mark: Shh.
Lily: What are you doing?
Mark: Shh, listen.
Andrew: What's goin' on?
Carl: Some creepy fuckin'
sounds is what's goin' on.
Andrew: That's fine,
shit, it's country noises,
just go back to sleep.
Carl: That was not a
fuckin' country noise!
Andrew: No, no it wasn't.
Lily: What are
you doing, Andrew?
Carl: Hey, what
are you doin'?
Andrew: It's fine,
don't worry about it.
Carl: You don't
go investigate!
Have fun out there.
Andrew: Mark.
Lily: Shh, you
guys aren't seriously
going out there are you?
Mark: Yeah, I guess
he wants me to film
our last moments for posterity.
Andrew: Stay close.
Fuck, fuck!
Mark: What?
Andrew: Was that a deer?
It was a deer, dude.
Mark: Awe man.
Andrew: Dude, Jesus,
what the fuck was that?
Awe fuck, man.
Mark: What was that?
Andrew: Hello?!
Mark: Andrew?
Andrew: Okay,
okay, okay, shh, shh.
Jesus.
Oh no.
Oh come on, fuck.
Oh come on, man, come on.
Andrew: What the fuck is
that? What the fuck is that?
Aww!
Shit!
What the fuck? Derek?
-Ow. Dammit.
Oh fuck, you broke it.
Andrew: We broke it?
-Yeah, look at it.
Jesus Christ.
Did you guys hear
those creepy sounds?
Andrew: That's very cute,
that's very cute.
-Hey, don't tell
anybody else, okay?
This is our little
creepy secret, alright?
I just wanna set the
vibe for the shoot.
Get the tone right, okay?
Andrew: That's
terrific, cute.
-Hey, the first scare is
always a false scare, right?.
Lily: Did that come out
Derek: It sure did.
A little maple syrup stain.
-Hi mark.
Lily: My arm's
about to fall off.
-It doesn't feel heavy at
first, does it, but then...?
Lily: Uh-uh.
-There it is.
-Okay, good, you guys getting
the editing bay set up?
-These are so gross.
Jesus!
-So, basically, the script was
written by myself and Derek.
-Uh..
-What?
-Nope, nothin', nevermind.
-No, what?
-No, it's just, i
mean, you came up with
the back story for
your character.
-I wrote several
finished scenes.
-You tweaked some of what
i had already written.
-Can we not do this
on camera please?
-Anyway, so yes, we
play a husband and wife
who come out to this
cabin in central Texas
that she inherited
from her great uncle--
-and my character is a
documentarian, a 3D enthusiast,
and I work too hard so my
wife resents me for it,
and with our relationship on
the verge of disintegrating
we come out here to reconnect.
-But of course, they find
more than they bargained for.
Andrew: Really,
the way I see it,
it's as much about
the deterioration
of their relationship as
it is about anything,
you know, supernatural.
The ghost, or the monster,
whatever you wanna call it,
is a metaphor, although,
there are rumors that the
house is actually haunted.
Mark: Haunted by what?
-So, apparently, the previous
owner of the house, who's--
-my character's great uncle.
-Yes, he murdered his wife,
and then dumped the body in
the lake behind the cabin.
-So, there's a hint
that maybe there's--
Carl: Wait, wait a second.
This is a true story, isn't it?
For real? Seriously guys,
you brought us to a
cabin that's haunted
in the middle
of the woods
where a husband
murdered his wife
to shoot a movie about a
husband murdering his wife
at a haunted cabin in the woods?
-Yep, yep.
Carl: For reals?
-Yeah.
-Do you mind if we actually
do the interview, Carl?
Carl: Sure, no, go ahead.
-Pull up your pants.
-Seriously, though... am i
being a big wuss about all this?
-Um...
-I actually believe
in all that stuff.
I've seen a ghost.
-For real?
-Yeah.
When I was a little kid.
Right hand to god.
That's something you don't
ever really forget, you know?
And what is this by the way?
Are we suddenly a
British production?
The spec-tre of death.
Are we gonna see this
movie in the the-atre?
-Yeah, it's
terrifying actually.
I was reading it at night,
which is a big
mistake, and yeah,
I had nightmares, really
really awful nightmares.
So I guess it's doing what
it's supposed to be doing.
-Because we want them
to establish morning,
so I think the natural
light works here.
-I think this will be great.
-Carl, does it work for you?
-Hmm, the fridge is
gonna be a problem.
Andrew: Why?
-The hum. We'll have to
unplug it during shooting.
-So, in every
found footage film,
we have to answer two questions,
the first of which is
"why are we filming?"
"What excuse do we
have for having
a camera document everything?"
That's usually answered
pretty early in the movie,
usually the first scene,
which we're actually
about to do right now.
Mark: And the
second question?
-The second question
is exactly the same
as the first question
but for the third act.
It's usually "why the fuck
haven't you put the camera down,
and run the hell away?"
If you answer that one wrong,
the whole third act just
completely falls apart.
Mark: So, can you give
us a preview to the answer?
- Actually
no, not at the moment.
Mark: Why not?
-There's no ending.
It actually stops
dead on page 71
in the middle of a scene.
I don't know if he has
an ending in mind,
you know, if he's just
trying to keep it secret
like they do in the
big tentpole movies,
the ones that people actually
give a shit about seeing.
-Yeah, no, we don't have
an ending right now,
but that's okay.
I mean, hey, worked on
apocalypse now, right?
What?
-Really?
Coppola?
-Yeah.
-You're comparing
yourself to coppola?
-He doesn't have an ending.
It's great, no, it's
good, it's good.
I don't mind, I do, well, hmm.
-Oh, oh, yeah, that
makes sense now.
-I'm gonna do it like this
so you can see my profile.
-Here we go, spectre of death,
we're about to shoot the very
first scene of our movie.
Scene one, take one.
Action!
-That's good, right?
Derek: Oh, she loves it.
This woman loves cleaning,
she can't stop cleaning.
Thank you Derek, for
bringing me to a dirty
old cabin in the woods.
-Thank you Derek for
bringing me to a dirty
old cabin in the woods.
Derek: You're
welcome, anytime.
-Babe?
Derek: Yes.
-You promised you
weren't going to bring
that stupid camera.
Derek: Whoopsy.
-We're supposed
to be on vacation.
Derek: I know, we
are on vacation though.
This is in fact our
vacation video.
This is you, this is
the sink, this is us.
-It has absolutely
nothing to do
with that stupid ghost--
Andrew: Sorry, wait,
cut for a second.
Derek: Yeah, we dropped that.
Amy: What?
-We don't have that.
Andrew: Did you
not get the changes?
-No, what changes?
-Lily gave you the
pages yesterday, no?
-I left them on
your sleeping bag.
-Well, you don't just leave
a script laying around,
and hope that people see it.
Mark: I'm sorry.
-You hand them to
the actor personally.
Derek: Fair
enough, that's okay,
we can solve it
now, we have 'em.
-I didn't wanna wake you up.
Andrew: It's fine, it's fine.
Amy: Well, I didn't get them.
Andrew: Can you just
look over it real fast?
-Sure, sure, sure.
-We are rebooting scene
one. We'll do a reboot,
and then take it from the top.
-Hmm.
No, this is no good.
Andrew: Okay,
what's the matter?
-Well, the writing
sucks, for one.
-Eh, Amy, what are you?
There's nothin' wrong
with the scene.
-Well, I wrote
the scene the way
that I wrote it for a reason.
Structurally, we need
to establish the
"before" of their relationship--
-i know, but we
also need to show
that there's a little
bit of conflict--
-we need to show
that we're in love.
-I know, and in that
love there is conflict.
That is part of what's
gonna happen later.
-Okay, well, you have us
screaming at each other
for two solid pages.
-I don't have us
screaming at each other,
I just have us butting
heads a little bit.
-A little bit? We have
exclamation points
at the end of every sentence.
-Exclamation points
are just emphasis
for the conflict that's coming.
It's the soul of
drama, that's all.
-The soul of drama?
That's super cute, Derek.
Did you get that
out of one of your
$12 Internet screening
writing courses?
-You know, I don't exactly
need to take a course
to write a scene where you
act like a total bitch, do I?
-Guys, guys, guys. -
Hmm, this is typical,
this is so typical, Derek James.
You can't even pretend to be
in love with me, can you?
-Well, I did it for four years.
You gonna cry now?
Yeah, okay, I did it,
i stepped on a landmine,
here come the crocodile tears.
Everybody give her attention.
-How could you even
say that to me?
-Oh what, now it's
all my fuckin' fault.
Is this the same
bullshit we go to?
Mark: D-d-Derek.
-Du-du-du! If you got
somethin' to say mark,
why don't you spit
it the fuck out?!
No?
Andrew: Okay, let's all
take a deep breath, it's hot.
Let's just cool off here.
Amy, it's a few small changes.
If you could just look
it over real fast,
and just, we'll give
you two minutes.
Derek: You know
what, fuck it.
Nevermind, we will
shoot it her way.
-Alright, are you sure?
-Yes, I am absolutely positive.
-Okay.
-My wife says we are in
love, we are in love.
Mark: Three,
two, one, action.
Derek: Hey sweetheart,
see my new camera?
You are in 3D.
Reach for the camera,
do it like this, whoo.
-Day one.
-It's been awhile since I've
been on a set like this.
Mark: What do you mean?
-Well, normally,
i work on bigger,
more professional productions.
I turned down a Ben
affleck movie to be here.
Mark: Really?
-Mmm-hmm, really.
Mark: Why?
-Well, Derek helped
me out a few years ago
financially when I needed that,
and I'm returning
the favor, so...
Plus, I fuckin'
hate Ben affleck.
-There's a definite
shorthand, I think,
when you're working
with someone so closely
that you know so well.
There's a chemistry
and a history
that sort of lends itself
to the script, I think.
Mark: Are you worried
about all the fighting
you're going to have to
do later on in the shoot?
-No, no, absolutely not.
We're both professionals.
This is acting, it's
just pretending.
Mark: Okay, thank
you, I think we got it.
-Great.
-Ah, Mr. mark here.
-Mark, do you ever
put that thing down?
Mark: Yes.
Andrew: Do you?
Mark: Yeah, I do. To sleep.
-There's peanut
butter jelly sandwich,
peanut butter jelly
sandwich, I wanted to die.
-Peanut butter's good.
-Yeah, have it fuckin'
35 times in two weeks.
-I have it for
breakfast every morning.
-Okay, are you a peasant?
--Running for their lives
from whatever it is,
not just start beating
whatever is chasing
them to death with the camera.
-It's like war journalists,
they stay there while
the bombs are going off,
while bullets are
flying over their head,
and they keep filming,
they keep filming in the moment.
Why don't they just run?
Because they gotta keep filming.
Carl: Yeah, they're
also well paid.
Andrew: Why do
we keep watching?
Why do we keep watching?
And between the two
mediums, found footage,
and you know, war,
in both scenarios,
it's fucked up, but
in both scenarios
I know a majority of
them aren't coming home.
I know that those guys very
well might die in the war,
and we know that everyone's
dying in found footage.
-Okay...
Hey, spectre of death fans.
I don't have Wi-Fi or Internet,
so I won't be able to
upload this anytime soon.
Maybe when we go into town.
But I just wanted to document
something a little weird
that I found in some of
the footage from today.
I'm not making this
up, this is real,
it's not part of the movie,
at least not as far as I know.
-I did it, I stepped
on the landmine,
here come the crocodile tears.
-There.
See that?
It's sort of in the...
I don't know maybe it's nothing,
but I definitely don't
remember anything or anyone
being there this afternoon
when we were shooting.
Plus--and this is
the weirdest part--
whatever it is--
again?
Jesus, Derek. Give it a rest.
I guess that was a
real animal that time
because Derek's still in his
sleeping bag in the other...
O-Kay...
That's super weird.
Andrew: Guys, please
be careful of snakes.
Amy: Snakes?
Andrew: Mark's how's this
all showing up lighting wise?
-This is good, right?
Mark: Yeah, the
lighting's great.
-In the trees, you know,
boom boom boom boom.
Andrew: Oh yeah,
that's great.
-Yeah, you see that?
So, she's like, "fuck you!"
Boom, boom, boom, boom,
boom, boom, boom.
Spectre flashes.
Amy: Okay, okay.
-So, today we have the first
appearance of the spectre.
Mark: Which is?
-The villain of the movie,
the ghost, or entity,
or whatever that
inhabits the cabin.
Mark: How do you plan
on doing the spectre?
-Well, I wanted to do
it as a practical effect
because I think--
-a guy in a spectre suit
would look retarded.
-Yes, well bad cg will
look more retarded.
-Who says it's gonna be bad cg?
-We can't afford good cg.
We'll find out.
Derek: I'm sorry, i
kicked it in the river.
-You kicked it in the river?
-I didn't mean to
kick it in the river,
it just fell in the river.
It fell in the river when
i was trying to get lunch.
Amy: So, we don't have a map?
Derek: We don't have a map,
we're a little bit
lost right now,
but it can't be that hard--
-I'll just lead the
way, don't worry.
Derek: You can't lead the
way if you don't know
where you're going.
-Oh my god!
How was that?
Derek: Um...
Mark: What would you
say the spectre is?
-I don't know, and i
don't think I wanna know.
I mean, I have my ideas.
I think everybody's
gonna have their ideas,
but I kind of hope that they
don't wrap it up neatly.
-I would say that the
spectre is probably
the fictional couple's
own negative energy
that's physically manifested,
like maybe their
relationship dysfunction
is so big and horrible
for everyone around them
that it has actually
ripped open a hole
to the gateway of hell.
-So I think if
we put it here...
What do you think?
-Absolutely, yeah, because
we wanna be able to have
people come through the door,
and the fridge will block that,
and I think that's good.
-The only problem
here is that I think
this is where the
whole 3D part kind of
falls apart a little bit.
-What do you mean the
3D thing falls apart?
-Well, when the
audience is watching the
surveillance footage it's
not gonna make sense
to them if it's not in 3D.
-Yeah, but why
wouldn't it be in 3D?
What do you mean it's not in 3D?
-Well, I mean, that
won't make sense.
-What won't make sense?
-There's no such thing as
a 3D surveillance camera.
-We don't know that.
-No, I do, I looked it up.
-Okay, well, there should be.
-Agreed, but there's not.
-Okay, you know what,
do you have two gopros?
-I have several.
-Great, take two,
stick em' together,
left eye, right eye,
stereo, 3D, boom,
that's your problem solved.
-I mean, I get it,
i just think you're
missing the point a little bit.
-What I think you're doing
is pissing in the pool again,
don't over think it.
Audiences, stupid, you,
making it happen, 3D.
-Okay, fair enough,
I'll give it a shot.
This might actually work.
It's a ridiculous idea,
but it might actually work.
Sweet.
Mark: Just talk about
what makes shooting
a found footage movie
different from shooting--
-a real movie?
Basically, the task in
a found footage movie
is to take really good sound,
and make it sound as
shitty as possible.
And just job well done on that.
-I mean, that's
the thing right,
with found footage you
don't need to worry about
lights, and grips,
and all that crap.
You can just go out in the
woods, shoot the movie,
and it's brilliant because
you get away with it,
and it makes you look
like the genius.
Oh, we're just running
around with a camera,
we don't know what we're doing,
and so it's like, "well,
the light's crap,
"and the sound's crap."
Be like, "exactly, but guess
who's paying for it? Boom."
We shouldn't use that one.
-It is different, definitely,
but I think ultimately
all acting is about
finding the truth in the moment.
Whether that's improving
for a found footage film
or belting out a
Broadway musical, i--
okay, let's
take that again.
Mark: Oh, okay, yeah, sure.
Whenever you're ready.
-Yes, it is different
i will say that--
mark: Hey guys, we're
doing an interview.
Derek: Awesome, keep it up.
-You know what, sweetheart,
why don't we just do
this another time.
Mark: Yeah, sure.
-So, Amy and I come in, she's
talking about her uncle,
though she's being
cagey and evasive,
not telling me the whole story,
then she hints at the
ominous back story of it.
We get to like right over there,
I think right where Lily is,
and that's when
the shovel falls,
almost hits Amy in the head.
Audience jumps out
of their seat.
Lily: Nice.
I love it when things do that.
-Like a cat? Is
it a "pop scare"?
Amy: It's called
a jump scare!
It's called a jump scare,
and I think it's
probably one of the most
overused cliches
in horror movies.
-That's why we're using it.
-You might as well
just have a cat.
-We don't have a fuckin'
cat, we have a shovel.
-No, I think it's
lazy filmmaking,
Andrew, I think you would agree.
It's bad writing done by hacks
who can't even write a script
that unsettles on
a deeper level.
You know what, actually,
it's meant to appease
audience members who are just
too stupid to know better.
-Okay.
Amy: I don't
think it's worth it.
Derek: We need to
have some kind of
moment where it snaps.
-That's not really,
that's not a fair thing
for you to say to me, okay. I
mean, what did I ever--
Derek: Jesus! Shit,
oh my god!
Carl: Lily? Lily?
Oh my god, Lily?
Derek: Is she okay?
Carl: No, no, don't.
Derek: Lily are you okay?
Carl: Hey, answer Lily.
Do you hear us?
Do you hear us?
Okay, okay.
No, no, don't move
your head around.
Don't move your head around.
Listen, who am I?
Who am I?
It's okay, it's just
a little blood,
don't worry about it.
Andrew: She's bleeding.
Carl: Hey, how many
fingers do I have up?
-Two.
Carl: Okay, what's your name?
-Lily.
Carl: Okay, what's my name?
-Carl.
Carl: Do you
know where you are?
-Yeah.
-Okay, look, let's
get you up slow.
Sit up real slow,
okay, how's your neck?
Here, go real slow, let me
hold your neck for you.
Andrew: Oh Jesus.
Carl: Okay, you dizzy?
No, you're not dizzy?
Okay, okay, put your
arm around me, come on.
-Give me your other arm.
Carl: That's good.
Amy: I hope she's okay.
-Derek, I don't care, if she
needs to go to the hospital--
-i would take her.
-Are you--
-Lily, hey lil.
Look at you, hey, should we
take you to the hospital?
Andrew: Lily, be honest.
-I'll take you, we'll
jump in the car right now
if you need to go.
-No, I'm fine, I'm fine.
Derek: Yeah?
Andrew: She's...
Derek: You're a big trooper?
-Alright, there we go.
She's fine, it's just
a bump on the head.
Carl: You sure you okay?
You're okay? I mean, do
you have a headache?
-Why don't you get some water?
Carl: Huh?
-Why don't you get some water?
Carl: Okay.
-Please.
I don't know, I just,
i hope she's okay.
She seems like a
really nice girl.
-That was definitely weird.
Not just me freakin'
out about nothing.
That was, you know.
-These things do happen.
I mean, you talk to any
of the big directors,
you know, you watch their
director's cuts like,
shit happens people get hurt,
they get banged up.
The important thing
is she's okay,
and we can keep moving forward.
And, you know, not overreact.
That's terrible.
It's true though.
-It's just I don't know if it's
worth us stopping the flow
of the story for
a full minute
while you deliver the
third act exposition.
-I'm not stopping the
flow of the story,
I'm telling them
what's happening.
We're letting the audience
know what's happened,
so they're not confused when
they leave the theater.
I was hoping for something
a little bit more
ambiguous,
let them have something
to talk about--
-they're gonna be talking
about how great the movie is,
not oh my god, I don't know
what the hell just happened.
-We should be letting
them decide for themselves
what the spectre is
instead of telling them.
-Blair witch.
-People are gonna
think we don't know
what it is if we
don't tell them.
"They don't even know
their own movie."
-If we leave it vague,
we can add to the
mythology if it.
We can build on it in a sequel.
-Charge them another ten bucks?
-Sure.
-Thirteen bucks, 3D.
-3D, that's right.
-Imax. 15, fuck it, go big.
-Exactly.
- Alright, I get it.
Yes, okay, I will bring it in,
make it a little more vague.
-Okay, just do it
quickly, Derek,
we have very little time left.
-Oh, okay, thank you.
Amy: You still awake too?
Mark: Yeah, just
cutting together
some footage for
the Facebook page.
Amy: Mmm-hmm.
-Please don't.
-No, come on.
It's only fair...
Watching the watcher.
Nice, it's very... meta.
So mark, how are you?
You working on anything?
-No, just this.
Amy: I think you should
make another short.
We should make a
short, you and me.
-Uh, mmm, yeah.
Amy: Okay, well don't
sound so enthusiastic.
-No, no, no, that's not--
-sweetheart, I'm
teasing, I know.
It beats working
with Derek, anyway.
I mean, i
don't know, I think,
I know there's been
a lot of friction,
but I don't know, maybe
there's something more.
I think Derek and I are finally
understanding each
other a little bit.
Andrew: Well, we still
don't have our lead actress.
Amy: What's this?
Turn it up. -
That's nothing.
Amy: No, turn
it up, turn it up.
-Amy.
Amy: No, come on, what is it?
I wanna see it.
Please.
Andrew: Do you
want me to call her?
Derek: Do whatever
the fuck you wanna do.
Andrew: What does
that even mean?
Mark: I'll call her.
Andrew: Can you? Thank you.
Andrew: It's just
gonna be a little tough
to do the film without her.
Derek: It's
gonna be a lot tough
to do the film with
her, trust me.
Should have my head examined
for casting her in
the first place.
Amy: Is that it?
-Amy.
Amy: Is that all he said?
-I don't think that
this is something...
Amy: Just play it.
-Amy.
Amy: Play it.
Mark, play it.
Derek: Just make sure
you erase that file, okay.
Mark: Yes, when
i dump the cards.
Derek: Alright.
Mark: So, why did you anyway?
Derek: Why did I what?
Mark: Cast Amy.
Derek: Because
I'm a fuckin' idiot.
I signed a contract
before we were separated,
and no thank you, I do
not want another lawsuit.
Mark: So, you're
not trying to get
back together with her?
Derek: No, sweet
Jesus Christ,
I am not trying to
get back together.
Speaking of Satan incarnate.
-I'm sorry.
Amy: Me too.
I don't know why I'm surprised.
I mean, I'm being
an idiot right?
It's over.
Is it?
What?
-What?
I...
I'm sorry, what
was the question?
Amy: Nevermind, I probably
don't wanna know anyway.
Good night.
-You are a fucking liar.
-I am not a liar, Amy!
I live in the truth.
It's you that makes up shit--
-excuse me, if you could
keep it in your pants
we would not even be here!
-Oh really, you know why
i can't keep my pants,
it's because you are
such a frigid bitch
that I have no fuckin' place--
-fuck you!
Oh my god, I'm so
sorry, are you okay?
I'm so sorry, oh my god.
-Amy, what are
you fuckin' doing?
-I'm sorry--
Andrew: Guys, guys, do
it again, take it again.
-I know we got
the fuckin' take.
Amy, we're right in the
middle of the scene!
Do you not know how to
commit to the moment?
Andrew: Take it again.
-No, I can't do this right now.
-No, Amy please, use this
to fuel your emotions.
-Yes, definitely,
actually acting, you know.
Mark: Derek, Derek--
-mark, shut the fuck up!
Oh my god, listen, you
guys, thank you all
for your help and suggestions,
but please keep your
opinions to yourself
unless you are asked, okay.
Thank you, alright,
fine, let's go again.
-No, I can't do this
right now, I just--
-oh come on Amy, will
you grow the fuck up?
This is the problem
every god damn time!
It's an emotional
fucking roller coaster
because you are not willing
to do it you fucking cunt!
Every time we--
-fuck!
Andrew: You okay?
-Andrew, what...?
What just, what
the fuck happened?
-I don't know, I have no idea.
-Did you arm the gag?
-No, no, no, I turned
it off before we,
right when we said cut.
I think I did.
-I mean, why the fuck is it?
-No, dude it's...
It's not even
fucking plugged in.
-What do you mean it's not
plugged in? It just went off.
It has to be fucking
plugged in, it just...
Well then, how did it fucking--
-i don't know, I don't know.
It's off and I unplugged it.
Are you okay? -
Yeah, I'm fine.
Andrew: Where's Amy?
-Seriously, that
was fuckin' creepy.
Mark: Seriously.
-It was a malfunction,
it happens.
-What? No...
You cannot say it was
a malfunction now
because you just told us
that there was no way
in hell it was a
fuckin' malfunction.
-Well, clearly it happened,
so let's please just make sure
it doesn't happen
again, alright.
-At the same time
Amy lost her shit.
You think that's a coincidence
that it fuckin' happened.
-It wasn't a ghost if
that's what you're saying,
I mean, I don't know
man, maybe the sound
of her voice
triggered the wiring.
-Right, the sound of her voice.
-What do you want me to say?
The house is
haunted, we're all gonna die.
-I just want you to admit
that it was fuckin' creepy.
Creepy?
Mark: Creepy.
Lily: Yeah.
-Yes, it was very
fuckin' creepy.
-Thank you.
Mark: Shit,
fuckin' again, Derek?
Carl: I'm never
gonna sleep normal.
Carl: That is Amy.
Yeah, yeah.
Carl: Kill it, kill it.
Motherfucker.
Mark: Son of a
bitch, he's raping her!
Carl: He is not.
Amy: Why the
fuck did you stop?
Asshole, fuck you.
Fuck you!
Carl: Let's go. Come on.
Mark, come on.
Carl:
-Morning.
-Good morning.
-Good morning.
Mark: Hey.
-Good morning, everybody.
-I'm sure it'll be fine.
Lily: I mean, should i
smear, or should I just pat?
-Just dab it on a little bit.
Lily: Does that
hurt when I touch?
-No, it's fine.
Lily: It's too dark?
-Hmm. -Should
we try this one?
-Sure, try that one.
This may not even work.
We'll just write it
into the script.
Derek: Amy?
Babe, are you out here?
Amy?
Amy!?
Oh shit.
Amy.
Amy?
Babe?
Shit, oh god. Baby, I think
you're sleepwalking again.
Oh shit, what happened
to your face?
You must've hit something.
Your eye's all banged
up, here, come inside.
-Oh yeah.
See that?
It's good.
Andrew: It's
good, it'll work.
-Alright.
You're amazing, you know that?
You're gonna
scare everybody.
-Listen...
I know that it's been a
stressful couple days out here.
It's been a little bit trying
with the conditions as they are,
and we don't wanna get
caught up in the blame game
pointing fingers because we are
all in this together, okay?
So, in the interest of
keeping that collegial spirit
I say that we all
get cleaned up,
and head out onto
the road, route 4,
there's a little bar there,
and let's go get
ourselves sloppy drunk.
On my dime. Alright,
what do you say?
-I'll be in the Van.
Lily: I'm gonna hit my head!
Carl: You're only gonna hit
your head if you do it wrong.
Derek: Look out,
look out, look out!
Oh!
Lily: I've already
hit it before.
Derek: Mark, come on! Put
the camera down for once.
Come have a drink,
have some fun.
Derek James, bitch!
-Yes yes yes.
Mark: No thanks.
-Mark, as director, you're
giving me the camera.
Give me the camera.
Derek: To the man
behind the camera!
To the man behind the scenes.
And to all of you for an amazing
week and a half of shooting.
Well, I have some
rather big news
to share with everyone
at the table.
The illustrious and very
influential Scott weinberg
is coming to do a
story on the film.
Scott weinberg from fearnet?
Amy: This film? Our film?
-Our film.
Andrew: How in the
hell did you swing that?
-Oh, I have my ways.
Carl: He's a swinger.
Andrew: You lied to him...
-No, no, I told him the
god's honest truth, I swear.
Well, maybe not all of it.
-The last time he said
that I got herpes.
- What was that?
Andrew: It's
gonna be a long day,
I'm just warning you.
-No, that's okay, I don't
mind, but I think that...
If you're talking
about production
in that kind of way then it's--
no, you made me miss! Derek!
-Carl, you saw
it, it was there--
Carl: That didn't last
very long now, did it?
Andrew: What
the fuck is this?
What the fuck?
Mark: Oh my god, oh no.
Andrew: Did we get robbed?
Amy: Oh my god.
Animals?
Lily: I don't know,
it tore everything up.
Derek: Something
must've got in.
Carl: Look at my gear, man!
What the fuck!?
Awe, it's just like
somebody fuckin'
just trashed everything.
Everything's here.
What the fuck is that?
Ugh.
What is this?
Derek: Somebody
must have broken in.
Lily: Should
we call the cops?
Andrew: We don't
have cell service
how the fuck are we
gonna call the cops?
-There's nobody out here.
Nobody comes out.
Is anything missing?
Lily: I don't know.
Andrew: No, nothing
of mine is missing
from what I can tell.
Amy: I don't know.
Carl: This is your
bullshit, right?
Derek: No, it's not
my fuckin' bullshit man.
Of course not.
-Of course not, of course not!
Why would it be my bullshit?
Why is none of your
stuff even touched?
-I was at the bar
the same as you!
I don't know why that's--
-it's coincidence, just
like all the other
crazy fuckin' shit, right!?
-I'm out of here
tomorrow, I can't--
-oh great, oh yeah, who
are you kidding man?
You've been looking for an
excuse ever since day one.
-That's because you took us
to a fuckin' haunted house!
-Oh my god.
-All this fuckin' weird
shit has been happening
ever since we fuckin' got here!
Since day one. You
had the crazy shit
with the dishes, with that!
Fuckin' Lily almost died!
And now all my shit
is covered in slime!
God knows what the
fuck is out there
making all those creepy
noises at night.
Derek: Hey, shut up, Andrew.
Carl: Hey, what did you say?
Carl: No no Andrew,
don't shut up, what?
Andrew: Nothing,
nevermind, nevermind.
-Okay, okay, so yeah,
that was you, great.
Fine, you know... good
luck with your movie.
I'm gonna go tomorrow, and
you know, god bless you.
Have fun. -Well,
you know what!
Good luck with your
Ben affleck movie
when you don't have
your fuckin' gear!
-What are you---i
own your gear Carl!
-You gave me a fuckin' loan.
-Right, and you didn't
pay that loan back,
so if you read the small
print in your contract
you would know that i
own your fuckin' gear,
and maybe you should wake
up and open your eyes
next time. That gear is mine.
-You're a fuckin' asshole, man.
-Yeah, I'm a fuckin'
asshole? -Yeah.
You're a fucking asshole!
Andrew: Guys, let's just
all go to sleep, shall we?
-Where is he gonna go?
-Mark, are you kidding me.
I told you not to
film that stuff.
Mark: Sorry.
Derek: Mark! Just turn
it the fuck off dude.
Mark: Yeah.
-He's a big boy.
-He didn't have a car
is the only thing.
-I know, I know.
Maybe he hitchhiked,
maybe he called a friend.
I'm sure he's halfway
to El Paso by now. I...
It sucks, it really
fuckin' sucks.
Mark: Well, this part is on.
He always had these on too.
Derek: Do they each
go on individually?
Mark: No, he would hit
a button, is it this?
Oh, okay!
-Look at that,
you're a natural.
-Lily pad, the sound woman.
-Alright, well shit,
how hard can it be?
You just gotta hit record,
and point the microphone
at whoever's talkin'.
- Yeah.
Andrew: Good
Amy, you ran, okay.
Derek: No, no, it's
gotta be on her shoulder.
Andrew: No, why would
it be on her shoulder?
-It's bouncing all over
the god damn place,
you can't even watch it.
-That'll look too planned.
No one who's running
for their life
will ever worry about getting--
-are you personally gonna
go into the theater,
and clean up all
the puke because
that's what's gonna happen
if you show it like that.
Especially in 3D, it's
gonna be barf city.
-I don't even understand
why she's still
holding the fuckin' camera.
Why hasn't she thrown it away?
-Because the movie
would be over
if she puts the camera down!
-Fine, well, we
need to come up with
a halfway decent excuse as to
why she's still recording.
-She needs the light.
Andrew: No, why is
she still recording?
-The light doesn't work
if she's not recording.
Andrew: Yes it does.
-That audience
doesn't know that.
-Yes they do!
-Oh, thank you, oh I wondered!
The queen has spoken!
Now we know, oh good!
How about you mark!
Do you have something
you wanna add to this?
-Christ, I don't know what
everybody here started to think
this was some sort of democracy,
but we're doing it my
way, end of discussion!
I'm fuckin' sick of this!
Alright, Amy get the camera.
We're putting it
on your shoulder,
and it's going to
be stable there.
Carl, roll sound!
Let's go!
Andrew: Action.
-Honestly, why did your
brother even hire me?
I don't even understand
at this point.
He obviously wants to direct
the fuckin' thing himself.
I mean, what is the point
of making the first 3D
found footage horror movie
if it's just gonna suck?
If it's just...
-Yeah, tensions are
high on any set,
but art, good art,
is never easy, and so yeah,
the long days do wear on you,
but I wouldn't trade my job
for any job in the world.
Mark: Ok, thanks.
Amy: That was
total horse shit.
Amy: Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Derek: What what what?!
Oh shit, shit, shit, shit.
Andrew: What
the fuck happened?
Derek: She's bleeding,
she's bleeding!
-Derek, Derek, Derek.
Derek: Awe fuck!
-What the hell happened?
-Sorry, I don't
know, I don't know.
-Did an animal get her?
Derek: I don't
know, god damn it.
-Are you bleeding
anywhere else?
-I don't know!
Derek: It's okay, put
pressure on, put pressure on.
Andrew: Amy, we're
taking you to the hospital.
-Yeah, oh my god!
Amy, Amy, Amy, it's okay.
Mark: Andrew!
Andrew: Yeah?
Mark: Get her ID.
Andrew: Got it!
-Take your time,
take your time.
Take it slow. You alright?
-Jesus Christ, you're
just giving her
the negative attention
she's after.
Mark: What is that
supposed to mean?
-Why do you think
people cut themselves?
Mark: She didn't cut herself.
-Right.
And she's never done
it before either.
Kid, you do not
know my wife nearly
as well as you think you do.
Amy: Do you ever sleep?
- Again?
Amy: What are you
watching this time?
An interview with
my mother about
what a massive disappointment
i turned out to be?
-I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
I should have never let you--
Amy: It's fine, I'm
sorry I said that.
-How's your arm?
Amy: It's okay.
The doc gave me some pretty
bad ass pain killers,
so I think I'll be fine.
What's that?
Make it bigger.
Did you film us sleeping?
-No.
Amy: Mark, that's
super creepy.
-No, this wasn't me.
Somebody must have
taken my camera.
There, see?
Amy: Oh my god,
this is last night.
-Do you think Derek did this?
Amy: I don't know.
I don't know, but this shit
is not funny anymore.
Okay, then it must've been Lily.
Right?
-Or you.
Amy: It's not me.
It's not.
It's not me, mark.
-Who else could it be?
Amy: I don't know!
What?
Oh my god.
Who is doing this?
Why is someone filming me?
What the fuck?
Oh my god!
What is that?
-That's that mirror back there.
He doesn't have a camera!
How is he--holy fuck!
Amy: What?!
Wave your arm again,
wave your arm again!
Amy: Turn it off,
just turn this shit off.
Turn it off, mark!
Mark: It won't
stop, it won't stop!
Amy: Shh, shh, shh.
Do you hear that?
I think it's saying something.
Derek: What the fuck?
What's going on?
Amy: I don't know.
It just came--
Andrew: What the fuck?
Jesus Christ, are you okay?
Amy: No, I'm not okay.
It just flew at me.
Derek: Mark, are you
okay? What going on?
Mark: We were watching
some weird footage and--
Derek: You guys
are screaming.
Amy: It just flew at me,
just now. It came in the room.
Derek: Amy, it's okay.
Amy, Amy,
Amy, calm down.
Okay, mark, what's happening?
Mark: We were watching
some footage from last night,
but I didn't take it--
Amy: Just show them.
Derek: You're
watching new footage?
Mark: No it was
something else--
Amy: Just show them! Please.
Mark: Okay. Here here here.
We were watching this interview,
and then it...
Derek: What are we watching?
Mark: It was right here.
Amy: Where'd it go?
Mark, where'd it go?
Mark: I don't know.
Amy: Just show them!
Just show them, we
just saw the video!
It cut my arm!
Andrew: What cut your arm?
Amy: It just came in here,
in the room, and it flew.
Derek: What came in
here in the room, Amy?
Amy: I don't know, I don't
know, it was big, it was black.
Derek: Amy
please, mark, mark?
Was there anything in the room.
Mark: No, nothing--
Amy: You saw it!
You just saw it!
It was just in here.
Mark: No.
Amy: Yes, it just came at me!
Come on, it's on the camera,
just show them, please.
Derek: Amy, calm down!
Amy: It just flew--
Derek: Turn the camera off.
Mark: I'm not
turning anything off.
-Turn the fuckin' camera off!
I'm not talking
about that harpie
with the fuckin' camera on!
Mark: Don't!
Don't call her that.
-Look, I will call her
whatever the fuck I want to.
She's my wife.
Okay? Mine, not yours, my wife!
Oh yeah, you think
that's fuckin' funny?
You know what, go
home, you're fired.
-Good.
-Go home mark!
-I am.
And I'm taking Amy with me.
-No, she stays.
She stays, she's got two
more days of filming,
we got weinberg coming
tomorrow, she stays!
-No, she doesn't.
I'm taking her away.
-You're the big man?
You think she needs
you to protect her?
That whore can take
care of herself, mark.
She's got you wrapped
around her little finger,
but let me tell you something,
she is not who you think she is,
she's the fuckin' devil!
-Right, oh yeah, you want that!
There's my tough guy,
huh, you little shit?!
You like that?!
-She's fuckin' bat shit, mark.
You watched the tape,
there's nothin' there,
she's fuckin' crazy!
-Fuck off. I know what I saw!
Something really fucked
up going on here,
and I don't know of you're
behind it or not or what, but...
I'm taking Amy away from
here before she gets hurt.
-Oh.
Alright.
Look at Mr. finally grew-a-pair.
Okay.
Just, ask her.
Ask her to choose between
you and her film career.
If she wants to go, you can go.
Good riddance to both of you.
Wouldn't hold your
breath though.
Please, don't.
Please.
I'm gonna record everything,
okay, to protect you.
- You're gonna need
a better excuse than that.
Mark: What?
-To keep the camera running in
the third act, you're gonna...
We'll have to come
up with something.
Please, just don't point at
me like an interview, then.
-I told Derek we were leaving.
-I'm gonna stay.
-Amy.
Amy--
-i have to.
-Why?
-I just do.
I just have to.
-Okay.
Then I'm staying too.
-No.
-Yes.
I'm not leaving you here
by yourself, I'm not.
No, please.
You have to go.
Your brother is
right, I'm bad news,
and I don't deserve your help.
-I'm not going anywhere.
I'm not.
I'm not going anywhere.
Andrew: We got wheels
guys, we got wheels.
-Alright, game face time.
You got this mark?
Let's go everybody!
Scott weinberg, here we go!
-How you doin'? Scott,
good to meet you.
Andrew: Andrew Reed,
nice to meet you.
-Everybody, the
legendary Scott weinberg!
Here on set! -
Scott, and you are?
-Lily.
-Lily, great.
Really good to meet you.
-How was the ride in, alright?
- It was long, it was good--
-bumpy, right?
-Is this an off day, or...?
-Heck no, we're just
about to get shootin'.
We've got everything
set up in there.
-So, this is your crew?
-Yeah, this is my
crew. -Oh okay.
-You think this is
high-budget Hollywood
in terms of how
decrepit, and dusty--
-did you add the cobwebs?
Or did they come with this?
-A little of column a,
a little of column b.
-Four people making
a feature film?
-We had a little bit of
a bigger crew originally,
but things, I just i
think we just decided
to thin it out a bit.
-You decided you didn't need
props, set, design, makeup--
-well, I mean, look at
what we got. This is...
- Yeah,
you can't fake this.
Andrew: This
is the real deal.
-Would you like to
see some of what
we've been working on actually?
-Okay.
-I think then you'll
get a better sense
of what we're trying to do here.
Derek: You out here?
Amy?
Amy.
Christ!
-Hmm, let's do those
interviews why don't we.
-Great, great, yes, perfect.
-I'm so glad you
came out, thank you.
-Yeah, thank you
for inviting me.
What's with the eye?
-What happened?
-It's makeup.
-Really!
-Mmm-hmm.
-That is impressive,
and that too?
-Of course.
-Why don't you tell me what
you're shooting tonight
because I'm excited
to see you on set.
-Mmm-hmm, well, this is
kind of the peak of drama,
I don't wanna give
away the plot,
but you know, the marriage
between Derek and Amy
is sort of crumbling
and falling apart,
and this is a moment
of recompense.
-See, that's amazing that
you guys can pull that off
because you're clearly
crazy in love, you know.
It comes across if you can
play that you hate each other,
that's good acting.
-Yes.
-Yeah, I think that works
better than an argument,
we see the scene, and then
i turn into the demon,
and I kill you.
-That's just a bit of
an abrupt ending, no?
-Well, it's the
nature of the genre.
-I understand that,
but it's just so--
-wait a minute, why does my
character have to die at all?
-No, of course you
die, that's silly.
-Why? Why can't I escape?
-Well, because that's what
makes it "found footage".
-It's the one hard and
fast rule of found footage
is that everybody dies.
Otherwise Derek, it's
just... footage.
-Yeah, no, I'm not
sure because I think
it might be more
original if I got away.
-Look, everybody dies--
-I'm all for originality,
but that doesn't make
sense, you both die,
so she's right.
Okay, if we just
change a few things--
-what we could do
is---i need to live.
-Okay, whatever, that's good,
just figure it out
by tonight because
we're running out of
script by tomorrow, so.
I knew it man.
I knew this was gonna happen,
I knew it was gonna
fuckin' happen,
and I didn't listen
and here I am,
and I'm sorry, I know
it's your brother,
but what fuckin' year does
he think it is, 2005?
I mean, fuck, this genre has
had two halfway decent films,
two halfway decent films,
one of which was 15
fuckin' years ago.
And every other found
footage film since then
has been complete bullshit.
I mean, why people waste
their fuckin' money
on this vomit-inducing
amateur-hour bullshit
is fuckin' beyond me, and yet,
here I am trying to make
something halfway decent,
a halfway decent found
footage horror film
that's different than
every other asshole
who's got a fuckin' iPhone,
and every fuckin'
step of the way,
your fuckin' brother
cock blocks me! Fuck!
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Please delete that.
Mark: Umm, I...
-No, fuck it, I don't care.
-Alright, so this is it.
We are about to shoot
the climax of the movie,
and if you look
carefully over there,
you will see, boom, hey,
Scott weinberg from fearnet,
who's joining us on
the set here today.
I should warn you that he
has been sworn to secrecy
about what he sees here today.
We told him that if
he spills the beans,
the spectre will
tear his face off.
So, if you want to
find out how it ends,
you'll have to come
see it in theatres.
We'll see you there.
I am Derek James signing off.
Let's shoot.
-Alright, scene 50, take two.
-I'm sorry.
Derek: I am too.
-I just, umm...
I don't know, I thought
coming out here
would fix us, somehow.
It's just been really hard.
Derek: I know.
I thought so too.
And I didn't realize how
hard this was gonna be.
-I've missed you.
I love you.
Derek: I love you too.
Amy: Why don't you
turn the camera off,
and come to bed.
Derek: Okay.
Andrew: The fuck?
Mark: Amy, no!!
Derek! Derek! No!
Andrew: You okay, Lily?
-Yeah, I'm okay.
Andrew: What
the fuck was that?
Mark: Mark, mark,
oh my god your feet!
Andrew: Oh fuck, oh fuck.
Weinberg: What the--?
-So, is this a joke?
Andrew: What?
-You guys are trying to get
me into the film because--
Andrew: Ahh! Fuck!
Oh shit!
Scott?
Jesus Christ, oh my god, Scott?
Scott?
Lily: Mark!
Mark: Ah, fuck!
Mark: Ahh!
Mark: Lily?
Lily: Mark, mark, mark.
Mark: It's okay, it's okay,
it's just me, it's okay.
Lily: What the
hell is happening?
What
are we gonna do?
Mark: I don't know.
Lily: She killed him,
mark. She killed him.
Oh my god.
What are you doing?
Mark: I'm cranking up the
iso so I can see better.
-Why do you still
have the stupid thing?
Just put it down!
Mark: I think it's the
only way you can see it.
-What are you talking
about, see what?
Mark: Did you see
what happened to Andrew?
-His chest exploded.
Mark: Yeah, but you
didn't see the smoke?
The demon? The specter?
Whatever it is.
-What the hell are
you talking about?
Mark: It was there, i
could see it on the camera,
but when it came
out of the cabin,
I couldn't see it with my eyes.
-What?
Mark: And last night,
Amy could see it too,
but I couldn't because she was
looking through the camera.
-Jesus, are you sure?
Mark: I think it's
making us film it.
I think it wants us to
keep the camera rolling.
-Are you saying that this
thing is alive or something?
Oh my god.
Mark: Shh, Lily.
-Just turn the light on!
Mark: No, I can't,
it'll draw it right to us.
Lily: Then what
are we gonna do?
Mark: I don't know.
I think we need to try
and make it to the Van.
-No, no, no, no, no, I'm
not going back there.
Mark: Lily, we have to.
These woods go for miles.
-I don't care, i
can't go back there.
Mark: Okay, okay, stay
here, you stay here,
I'll go to the Van, and
I'll come back for you.
Lily: No, mark, wait!
Mark: I'll come back.
Lily: Okay, okay,
okay, mark, I'm coming.
Mark: Lily? Lily, what
happened, are you okay?
Lily: Mark,
turn on the light.
Mark: Shh.
Lily: Mark, turn
on the light, please!
Turn on the light mark!
Mark: Oh god!
Lily, be quiet.
-Mark! Mark, it's Carl!
Mark: Lily please, shh.
Amy: Help.
Somebody.
Please help me.
Mark: Amy?
Amy!
Amy: Mark?
Andrew? Is that you?
Mark: Amy!
Amy: Hello, oh! I can
hear someone honking.
Please, you have
to come find me.
I'm in the woods
somewhere, I don't know.
The camera, I have
the other camera.
Oh, go back inside, find
the other wireless mic.
I think I'll be able to hear
you through the camera.
Please, please, honk
twice if you can hear me.
Oh,
thank god.
Okay, I'm turning on the camera.
I don't know what happened.
The last thing i
remember was that thing
just coming at me in the room,
and then I just, I woke
up, I'm in the woods,
and I'm just covered in blood.
Mark: Where the fuck?
Amy: I think i
know where I am!
I think I'm by the lake.
I'm gonna try to get
back to the cabin.
Mark: Fuck, where is it!?
Where is it?
Oh shit.
Derek.
No, no.
Okay.
Here we go.
Okay.
Come on, come on, work, fuck.
Amy: Oh god, mark,
I'm lost again.
I don't know where I am.
God, where am I?
Mark: Scott?
Scott?
Scott?
Amy: Oh, oh, i
see the house!!
I see the house!
Amy: Okay, okay.
Mark: Amy?
Amy, can you hear me?
Amy: Mark?
Mark: Amy?
Amy.
Amy: Mark, is that you?
Mark: Yeah.
Amy: Oh my god, mark!
I can hear you, oh my god.
Mark: Are you okay?
Amy: Oh, I don't
know, I don't know.
I am so scared.
Mark: It's okay, it's okay,
everything's gonna be okay.
Amy: What the
hell is going on?
Mark: Let's just
find each other, okay?
Amy: Okay, okay.
Mark: Where are you?
Amy: I don't know.
I think I'm in front of
the house, somewhere.
Mark: Okay, good.
Amy: I just saw lights.
Mark: Meet me
at the Van, okay?
Amy: Okay.
Mark: Where are you?
I don't see you.
Amy: I'm at the
edge of the woods.
Straight ahead.
Mark: Where?
Amy: I can see you.
I see your camera light.
Can you see me now?
Mark: Is that you?
Amy: Yeah.
Yes.
It's me, I'm here.
Mark: Okay, stay there,
I'm gonna come get you.
Alright.
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, Amy!
Amy!! No!!
Amy, no, no.
Come on, get up, we gotta go.
Come on.
Okay, okay.
Get up, get up, get inside.
Alright, let's go.
You're gonna be okay,
everything's gonna be okay.
Okay? Okay?
Okay, okay, okay.
Amy?
Don't do that.
Amy,
please, please don't.
Please don't, Amy!
Amy, no, no.
Amy?
Oh no.
No, no, no, no, no.
God dammit, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no!
Amy: Mark.
Mark.
-Oh my god, Amy, are you okay?
Amy: I don't think so.
-I can't get the
car started again,
I don't know what to do.
Amy: It doesn't matter.
-What do you mean?
Amy: It doesn't
matter anymore.
I need you to do something.
-No, I have to get
you out of here,
I have to get you help.
Amy: Get the camera.
-What?
Amy: Get the camera.
-Amy.
Amy: Do it.
Point it at me.
How do I look?
-You look beautiful.
-I'm sorry.
-It's not your fault.
It's not your fault.
-I wanted him dead.
-I know.
He deserved it.
For everything he
put you through.
-And you...
Thank you.
-For what?
-For coming back for me.
-Of course I came back for you.
Of course I came back.
-I wish you hadn't.
-Why?
-I hoped you would
remember the rule.
-What?
-The one rule of
found footage movies.
-I'm sorry.
I'm so sorry.