1
Just watch my hand.
Watch it.
Watch my hand now.
Nice and slow.
Back and forth.
Watch the hand!
Come on. Do something.
Wake up. Let's go!
Let's see that peeper.
Be very careful here..
I'm gonna give it a lobotomy
Jesus..
That's it.
That's it!
That's right!
Now follow my hand.
Look at the hand.
Just follow the hand
Come on.
Gotta follow my hand.
We're in sync now.
Now we're cookin'
That's it.
That's right.
Look at it.
Jeffrey?!
Jeffrey?
Be a doll and pass me the ketchup.
Sorry.
Thanks hon.
Mom!
Let me help you with that.
Oh, no, no.
..Those hamburgers up here.
Will you hold your horses Henry?
Let me get started here.
By the way,
he's at it again in the kitchen.
Oh dear..
I'll check on him in a minute mom.
Would you?
I'd appreciate that.
Coz we can't get too real
to night, you know?
By the way,
for your own good.
Ease up on the pretzels.
Trouble?
Nah, same old thing.
Jeffrey's too strange
and I'm too fat.
What happened to your diet?
Oh, heck. I've tried it all
and nothing works.
I've tried liquid diet..
Sea food diets..
Vegetable diets..
Fruit diets..
Pills, powders, weight watchers
and clinics.
I even had Jeffrey staple my stomach
and nothing else.
Jeffrey stapled your stomach?
Yeah, but it didn't help much.
I'm still a compulsive eater.
I didn't know Jeffrey was a doctor.
Well, yes and no..
I thought he worked
for New Jersey Electric?
Oh, he does.
He's.. just...
sort of a doctor in his spare time.
Calls himself a bio-electro-technician.
Whatever that means.
Well, is he at least
going to Medical School?
Goodness no. He's been
kicked out of three of them already.
And you let him operate on you?
Well, of course. I mean..
We're going to be married.
Hi!
Watcha doin'?
Oh, what's this?
I'm not sure.
I can fix it, though.
Well not now.
Come on outside with me.
Dad's cooking tons of hamburgers.
It's so nice out there.
Good idea. I need this table
to make my Coleslaw.
Thanks sweetheart.
Happy birthday Daddy!
You didn't have to.
I've got a surprise for you.
Now close your eyes.
And don't open them
until I tell you.
They're closed nice and tight.
I wish she wouldn't have
bought me something, I know it.
OK now, turn around.
Real slowly.
OK, OK.
Stop, stop!
Now open 'em!
Ta-dahh.
And look..
Jeffrey rigged it with this remote control
so you don't even have to push it.
Thanks son.
Come on. This is your day.
I don't want any credit.
He's always been creative.
What!!
And it's so easy
you just turn it on like this.
Don't stand in front of it.
And this controls the speed..
And the direction.
So when you want it to go..
You just press this.
You're on your way chuck.
Don't stand in front of it!!
I gotta get 1600 Volts in there..
I gotta tap into there.
Tap into the North Power Station.
I'm gonna cause a burnout.
What began as a Birthday-Barbeque
ended in a bizarre tragedy
in Ho-Ho-Kus, New Jersey today.
It was this Power mower,
that brought a quick end
to the life of 21 year old
bride-to-be, Elisabeth Shelley
Like wood through a mulcher,
the girthle fiancee
disappeared beneath the blades
of the berserk mower
that sent her personality raining down
upon the horrified birthday revelers.
In a blaze of blood, bones and body-parts.
The vivacious young girl was instantly
reduced to a tossed human salad.
A salad that police
are still trying to gather up.
A salad that was once named..
Elisabeth.
But death by lawnmower is not the end
of the strange twists in this case.
Of course it's hard to be real specific
at this point,
but yes, apparently parts of her
are missing.
Do you know which parts
or how many?
Ehh, like I said, It's hard
to be real specific at this point.
She's just one big Jigsaw Puzzle.
Jigsaw Puzzle?
Jigsaw Puzzle.
One of the eye-witnesses
to this terrible tragedy
is also the young victims fiance.
Oh excuse me.
You saw the accident happen?
I don't want to talk about it.
...and you have no idea
what happened to the head?
I..I don't know.
I didn't see it.
Last time I saw it,
it was spinning through the air.
I don't Ehh..
Why don't you just
leave people alone when they grieve?
I guess that's it.
Because this is such a quiet town
the whispers can be heard all the louder.
Whispers that are less concerned with
the tragedy that befell a young woman
than with the grizzly souvenirs
collected by a person
or persons unknown.
In Ho-Ho-Kus, this is Judy Graph
for 8-news alive.
May I?
Yeah, sure Ma.
You've been watching it again.
Can't help it Ma.
This is not healthy for you.
It's not good for you.
I can't help that either.
I don't know, Jeffrey.
Ehm..You know..
You know that girl at the supermarket
that I told you about?
She asked for you again today.
Why don't you give her a call?
I don't want to.
You don't want to?
You know it's not right for you
to spend the rest of your life in here.
Elisabeth's dead.
Life goes on.
I mean, you've gotta find
yourself another girl.
That's what I'm working on, Ma.
Oh, that's what you're working on?
I don't know, Jeffrey.
Well, you don't find someone
by hiding from the rest of the world.
Or keeping yourself
cooped up in here
or in the garage
or in that stupid Power-Plant.
Why don't you go back
to medical school?
Medical schools upset me mother.
Now, I really thought that someday
you would become a great Doctor
and I mean a great Doctor.
I mean, I never thought
that you would throw it all away
for some silly fusebox or..
Oh my god..
Oh, look..
Look!
Look!
You're working fine now.
Oh Jeffrey,
it's looking so much better.
What is he?
I'm not sure.
Oh Jeffrey.
I'm worried about you.
Yeah well, so am I, Ma.
Somethings happening to me
that I just don't understand.
I can't think straight anymore.
My reasoning is all twisted and distorted,
you know?
I seem to be disassociating
myself from reality.
More and more.
Each day.
I'm anti-social.
I'm becoming dangerously amoral.
I've lost the ability
to distinguish between right from wrong.
Good from bad.
I'm scared Ma.
I mean..I feel like sometimes I'm..
I'm plunging headfirst
into some kind of black void
of sheer utter madness,
or something.
Do you want a sandwich?
No thanks.
There's a little egg-salad
left in the refrigerator.
..I mean really.
It's no trouble.
No, really. I'll get my own dinner
tonight, thank you.
OK, but just Ehh..
I don't mean to be a pest
but could you just promise me one thing?
One thing, huh?
OK. What is it?
That you won't stay up all night.
I promise.
Goodnight, sweet boy.
Goodnight, Ma.
How are you feeling?
Sorry I'm late.
I was talking with Ma.
You know how she yaps.
Do you feel like having Italian tonight?
You look radiant tonight, Elisabeth.
Those baths are doing you
a world of good.
You've got such a healthy glow, now.
You look luminous.
Magnificent.
Wonderful.
Here's to you..
To us.
To new beginnings.
Cleanse the pallet now.
There we go.
Nice and slow.
That's very good.
That's it.
That's it.
Very good.
Nice and easy.
Very nice. Very tidy.
Very neat.
You like that Beaujolais don't you?
I got big news honey.
And it's the reason for
this celebration tonight.
There's a storm headed our way
It should be here in about two days
and I want to be ready for it.
If everything goes as planned
and it should..
It'll be a whole new look for you.
As a matter of fact, it'll be
a whole new you.
Let me show you what I mean.
Isn't she gorgeous?
Maybe teddy isn't your style, eh?
Okay.
What do you think?
Honey-pie, can't you picture
yourself in this body?
Kneeling on Ma's couch
in the basement.
How about the crawling cat, eh?
How 'bout this model?
A visit to the sweet shop?
I can make you into anything you want.
I can make you the centerfold
goddess of the century.
I just need the live parts.
But enough excitement.
How about a little dessert?
Something I wrote for you.
A poem.
Warning!
Contents under pressure.
By...
Jeffrey Franken.
My heart is packed
so full of love for you.
That I dreamed I exploded
Like aerosol cans sometimes do.
I blew with such force
that my bones became shrapnel.
And leveled the town
except the small chapel.
My teeth flew like bullets.
I didn't know what was happening.
They killed everyone in sight.
Except for the Chaplin.
And then, thanks to him,
we were happily wed.
Even though at the time, I...
think we were both dead.
The end.
I know it's not the best
poem in the world, but...
I want you to have it.
Goodnight Elisabeth.
I 'll Se you tomorrow.
It's six hundred volts more
or otherwise there's gonna be...
spider veins or I might get stuck
with a chicken leg.
No, that's...
How can I have gone too far?
Now I'm nitpicking.
I gotta have more wattage.
Otherwise I'm not gonna be happy.
I can't...
I don't wanna...
I can't.. I cant fell guilty now.
I don't wanna feel guilty now.
I just...
I just wanna make life.
I mean, you know.
I just wanna bring you back Elisabeth,
you know.
I mean in order for you to...
to live, I mean, somebody's gotta
take your place, you know?
I mean somebody
has to die for you to live.
Gettin' a cluster headache.
And as you can see
from this lovely map right here
we have some very exciting weather
arriving here in about two days.
More thunder and lightning and electricity
than you've ever enjoyed before.
Haha, very spooky.
Very spooky.
And just right for you
mad doctors out there:
It's great.
Two days.
Two days.
I gotta find her fresh parts
in two days.
OK. I'm gonna do it.
I'm gonna do it.
I just gotta relax.
Relax. The key to this whole
thing is relaxation.
Relax, Calm down
and relax.
I can't relax.
Just gotta get right up from here.
Some people need drugs...
Some people need booze...
I just need a little surgical assistance.
Five-o-seven?
No, twenty-one, no...
Twenty-two.
Goodnight twenty-two.
OK. I gotta get
some...
Stewardesses.
Stewardesses.
Take the Van Wyck express way
out to Kennedy airport.
I'll walk on to the plane.
I've got a maintenance uniform on.
Girls! Ahh, there's a screw loose
in the luggage stool.
You gotta follow me and get off the plane.
I'll get them in the back of my van.
I'll tie them up
with the extension chords.
It's no good. That's not gonna work.
It's ridiculous.
Nobody's gonna believe that.
I don't care how stupid they are.
OK.
All right, now we try this again.
Now we're gonna come up
with something here.
The hole is already bored.
That..
That's it.
Okay, okay.
Why, it's..
It's so simple.
If I need female body parts...
Then I'll buy female body parts.
And there's a place across the river
where there's thousands of women
Anxious to sell their parts.
With no questions asked.
Of course with the right
amount of cash.
I do have my Christmas club account.
Ohh, this is...
Very busy here tonight.
This is like a smorgasbord here.
What a bufft.
Now, these legs are very nice.
Yes...
This might be easier than I thought.
Oh my god,
now this is..
She's nice.
A little lopsided though.
Come on now.
She's not gonna work out.
Very nice!
Oh, there is something very interesting.
OK. This is it.
I think this could be the block.
All right.
OK. This is it.
I've got it now.
Now, this is the block.
I'm...
OK.
Ride behind.
Nice and easy now.
OK.
Hey! You looking for some action?
Or a date?
Hey you!
Need some company?
Are you lonely?
Come on. Come on.
Hey! Goin' out?
Want a date?
Some action?
Company?
Are you lonely?
You look Ehh..
You.. You look great. I...
I'm not used to seeing a...
You're a Jersey Boy.
Aint 'ya?
Yeah, Jersey.
Right over the bridge.
Ehm.. to the left.
Well, you just take
a couple of deep breaths.
And relax.
Tell me what you want.
Ehm..well..
I'm looking for a couple of girls.
Ehm..That have the right..
Nice parts. I..I..
I'm looking for a lot of good parts.
Honey..
In case you aint noticed..
I not only have all the right parts.
I've got all the right places.
Shit, you got 'em all right.
You Ehh..You...
You're right. You're right.
You're right.
You got money?
Money? Yeah yeah.
I got Ehh...
I got..I got some. I...
I went to the bank.
Oh! Whoa!
Now you're talking.
Pardon me Jersey Boy.
Hold on. Wait a minute!
Wait a minute.
I'm not ready yet.
Well, let me in!
Look at you!
Don't wait up.
Not in front of everyone.
Stop it. I'm not ready.
I..I..I'm...
I need a few more girls.
How many more?
I don't know.
Yo! Amber.
Come over here!
What's all the fuzz?
Jersey Boy here
needs twosomes.
No no no no.
Jersey Boy doesn't want that.
Ehh...
Ahh...
I wanna..throw a party.
For my brother.
He's sick. Ehh...
I..I'm gonna need about Ehh...
Six or seven
Of the most beautiful girls
you've got on this block
Yourselves included.
See, I wanna..I wanna
have sort of like a beauty contest for him.
Oh! And you get the winner.
Right?
Well, Ehm..
I'll make a new woman of her.
It'll cost ya.
Oh, money...
Money is not a problem.
I got money.
Well lover. We can get you
all the girls you need.
You better check it out
with Zorro first.
Zorro?
Zorro.
Zorro.
I don't want any trouble.
Hey Spark.
Hi honey!
What can I do for You?
Where's Zorro?
He went to the back a while ago.
I aint seen him since.
Thanks.
This suck.
You need to go to the men's room.
I don't have to go.
I left my money in the bar.
Coming through.
I'm all right. I'm her Doctor.
Gotta get back there somehow.
How are you?
First time here.
I gotta go underneath here or..?
...and he says "how come you
don't do business with me?".
..And I've got the power of almighty hell!
Wait here a sec.
Here, Jersey Boy.
How do you do?
Zorro here will fix you up.
Get you everything you need.
See you later guys.
The Last diet.
Yeah, seems like there's a lotta
folks on it at these parts.
Abby tells me you're holding a party.
Need a lot of girls.
Yeah, yeah.
Tomorrow night.
My girls are the best.
The best to look at.
The best for fun.
A few minutes may cost
you a thousand dollars.
You want the best,
you gotta pay.
Well, you know,
I'm sure we can agree on a price.
Yeah, let's talk business, my friend
By the way, Ehh...
How much does one of those
little plastic bags cost?
One of these?
Yeah.
What? Are you crazy?
What the hell
are you talking about?
I am talking about women
controlled by drugs.
And dying from them.
I'm talking about women
selling their bodies
because they no longer
have any other choice.
I am talking about human beings
who need protection.
And you honestly believe
that legalizing prostitution
is gonna somehow magically
make all of these problems
disappear!
Well, it's a start.
Alright. What's next?
Let the government issue them condoms?
Let the taxpayers pay for the hotels.
Don't laugh.
Don't laugh.
She's right.
She's right.
This crack shit's killin' em!
This supercrack will get
the job done a lot quicker.
And without any pain.
Of course it may get a bit hot.
The name of your organization
is H.O.O.K.E.R, isn't it?
It's called: Hold on to our knowledge
of equal rights.
And if you run that film
you'll get a hint of what it's
like on the streets
for these women.
Throw it Lou.
Where's the money?
Where's the money, bitch?!
Where is it, huh?
Where's the money?
Where's my money? Huh?
Where is it, huh?!
Where is it, huh?!
Where is it?!
Where's the money?!
Jeffrey!!
All right.
Take it easy now.
Don't flip out. Don't flip out.
Just relax.
You gotta do the drill.
You do the drill
and you're gonna feel much better now.
Reverse. It's on reverse.
I mean, it's not like
I'm committing murder.
I'm not killing anybody.
The crack is what's gonna kill 'em.
Hell, it's killing them already.
I'm just speeding up
the process, that's all.
I'm not.. I'm not shooting anyone.
I'm not stabbing anyone.
I'm merely gonna place a lethal form
of crack in their presence.
They don't have to take it.
Nobody has a gun to their head.
If they don't wanna do it, they can...
just say no.
The super crack is placed
on the pre-heated hot-plate.
Tube into cage.
Now we begin.
Now we have a nice cloud.
Nice indeed.
Now, that's right.
Look how sexy you are.
I bet you get a thousand dollars a night.
Can I buy you a drink?
Is the hotel nearby?
Can we get there by walking?
Now, if you want a guinea pig,
I'd jump in that cage myself.
Yes, you know the moves.
Those moves
are thousand dollar moves.
Now, take a nice..
Deep breath!
Holy Jesus Christ.
This could get ugly.
Hey!
Jersey Boy.
All set?
All set.
OK girls. Listen up.
This here is Jersey Boy.
Doctor Jersey Boy.
But you can call him Jeffrey.
Jeffrey,
this is Angel.
- Hi.- Krystal.
- Hello.
Amber you already met.
Nice to see you again.
- Anise.
- How do you do?
- Chartreuse.
- Pleasure.
- Snow.
- Hello
Sugar and Monkey.
Now, girls...
Zorro told you all about Jeffrey.
It's his party
and he wants to play doctor.
Now, if Jeffrey wants
anything more than that
you gotta let me know.
Because Jeffrey is a
good personal friend of Zorro's.
And he's gettin' a special rate.
Understood?
Yes Maam!
OK Jeff.
How you wanna work this?
Ehh...
Well.
Let's start with the...
Legs.. Shall we?
Ohh, I don't...
This is...
Oh, this is...
Excellent.
This is a perfect eighteen
in diameter.
Uhu?!
Now this is...
This is unfortunate.
And so crude.
Honey, you aint seen nothing.
Wait til you see the one on my groin.
Awesome.
Utterly awesome.
Nice buoyancy too.
Ahh, gout free.
Fine.
Wanna take my temperature, Doc?
I bet you've got a big thermometer.
This lactiferous gland is almost perfect.
They're yours
if you want 'em, Doc.
..And divided by Pi...
OK. Hold still.
This reminds me of
the Saint Louis arch.
Excellent!
Oh, this is fine.
Very good!
Oh, very nice.
These are good looking.
Clean shaven too.
Mmm, nice.
Ahh, now these.
Very nice.
I like these very much.
I'm gonna need some more voltage
to get this to work.
Hey Zorro!
What's up?
Just waiting for my bitches.
They should be down
in a few minutes.
Oh, good!
Jeffrey, we only got a few minutes
before we hit the streets.
Have you found
your perfect woman yet?
Look...
Zorro said you're allowed thirty
minutes to get a pick.
But you gotta pick.
The rest of us gotta go.
I can't...
I can't pick, I...
Look I'm sorry. I...
You're all very nice.
You've been very nice,
but I can't do it. I...
I can't go through with this.
I'm.. I'm not even sure
that this would work.
Oh God, Elisabeth...
What the hell is he talking about?
And who the fuck is Elisabeth?!
Are we getting paid?
Listen Jersey Boy...
You got the money!
Money huh?
You talking about money!
I'm talking about human life.
You want money?
Here...
Here you go.
Take the god damned money.
Don't you see what I'm trying to do?
What do you thinks been going on here?
Yeah, everybody play with the money.
Play with the dirty money.
Whoa!
Oh shit!
What's this?
Holy shit!
It's drugs!
It's super drugs!
Holy shit!
Wait.. Wait..
Put that back.
That's supposed to be for the winner.
Look at this girls.
The party aint over yet.
Give me that.
That's dangerous.
Jeffrey, you devil.
Give it to me.
Give it back.
Now!
Come on girls.
Let's get 'em.
Pull me up.
Pull me up, quickly.
Don't.. Don't smoke it.
Now listen to me...
Oh, we need some music.
Yeah!
Oh no, not the devil's music.
Turn it off.
It's no good.
It's a deadly mixture.
Please, it's killing you.
Some things you shouldn't be doing.
God, please...
Don't smoke that.
I'm telling you.
It's not what you think.
Please, there are programs
you can check into.
You can get off it.
Stop that.
That's not natural.
Wait a minute.
For cryin' out loud.
You're like cats with catnip.
Just stop that.
Your body wasn't meant
to do that!
The poser fuckin' with me.
Just gone on too long.
Don't do it.
You're gonna die!
Whoa!
- Oh god!
- She's gonna blow!
She gonna blow!!
Duck and cover.
Isn't it awfully hot in here?
Take it easy.
Yo! Jeffrey!
Move it out!
Open up!
Open up!
Open up!
Open up this god damned door!
Amber! Open up!
Open the door.
Let me in.
Open the door.
I'm gonna knock this door down!
What the fuck!
What the fuck is goin' on
in there?
Oh, the humanity.
It's crashing.
It's burning.
I'm sorry!
Jeffrey?!
Die scumbag!!
Oh my god!
Oh my god!
Oh Jesus!
Oh, I'm sorry!
I'm sorry!
Everybody I'm sorry!
I didn't mean for this to happen.
It was an accident.
Look...
I want.. I want to apologize
to everybody here.
Please.
I'm gonna put everyone back together.
I promise you!
But first I'm going to put
Elisabeth back together
because that's.. that's the whole
point of this.
And then I'm gonna
take care of everybody.
I'm gonna get to everybody.
Just take it easy.
I guess we're gonna take
a little trip to New Jersey.
It's just right over the bridge.
I've got an estrogen based
blood serum there.
It's gonna do wonders for you.
It'll make you feel
like little girls again.
Just trust me.
Alright?
Just be quiet.
Relax...
It's gonna be alright.
Oh, you're gonna get another shoe.
Alright.
Oh Jesus.
Chinese girl.
Alright, OK.
I'm gonna get new clothes.
Just relax.
This is well done.
Alright.
It's a close shave.
Holy Jesus!
I gotta work fast.
Not usable.
It's like a mans hand.
This piece.. This is...
Everything we have.
OK.
Too soft.
OK. What's this?
These? No!
No good.
Mutton Jeff.
Alright, these two?
- Maybe.
- Wait a minute.
- Them!
- Alright.
Alright.
Where are they?
Where are the perfect ones?
Just stand there!
How the hell did that
get in there?
Alright.
Ahh. Now this...
This is what I'm
talking about now!
Here it is.
Okay!
We got it.
Nice.
Oh my god.
Bunions!
Now, just one final detail.
Well...
This is it, Elisabeth.
This is the moment
we've been waiting for.
Just give me a couple of seconds.
Okay.
It's alright.
That's good.
Now just relax!
Gonna get to each and
everyone of you
as soon as I can
just like I promised.
It's alright.
That's it.
Ohh!
Okay!
But tonight belongs to Elisabeth.
Oh god, Elisabeth.
I love you so much.
I hope I'm doing the right thing.
I mean...
I know that things
will never be the same again.
As before, but...
I mean, who knows?
Maybe.. Maybe it'll be better.
I don't know.
But I do know
I'll have you back with me.
And I'll never let anything ever
hurt you again.
I promise.
For as long as I live
you'll be safe.
Whup. Wohuo.
OK. It's alright.
No harm done.
Everythings okay.
No blood.
Nothing's broken.
It's time.
Good luck.
Elisabeth?
Elisabeth.
Want a date?!
Going out?!
Looking for some action?!
Need some company?!
No. Wait wait huh?
It's.. It's Jeffrey.
Jeffrey
Got any money?!
Money? No.
I dont.. I don't have any money.
Oh my god!
It's a girl!
Ohh!
Oh my!
Elisabeth?
Elisabeth!
Where are you?
Oh my god!
Elisabeth!!
What did she want a date for?
She wants money.
She wants my money.
Oh my god, no.
Oh no, no.
No. Wait a minute.
You're not gonna go back there!
Elisabeth!
Want a date?
You going out?
No thanks. I'm on my way home,
but thanks anyway.
Well well.
Look at the lady in purple.
What's rockin' you?
You looking for some action?
Hey, get your hands off me.
Babe!!
Need some company?
Lonely?
Got any money?
Jeffrey!
We've only got a few minutes left
before we hit the streets.
Have you found
your perfect woman yet?
Whoa! Yes god!
Yes..Yes..
Take me.
Yes!
Holy...
Are you a Pasties?
I love Pasties.
Where are you taking me?
Oh. Oh. Oh!
I know this place.
I know this place.
I love this place!
I've been here before.
Oh Yes!
Yes.. Yes..
We'd like a room.
..Like a room.
Oh, sweet mother of..
Look!
Zorro said you have thirty minutes
with the girl you pick.
But you gotta pick.
Coz the rest of us gotta go!
This is great!
I love that.
She's so anxious.
Wait! I've got the key.
Don't start without me.
Boy. Oh boy!
Better!
Bed?
Whau!!
Ha ha ha haa!!
That's great. I love it.
I love it.
This is terrific!
Do.. Do more.
Do more!
OK girls!
Listen up!
This here is Jersey Boy.
Doctor Jersey Boy.
But you can call him Jeffrey.
You wanna play Doctor!
Doctor!!
Me Doctor.. You Nurse.
Ha ha haa!!
Oh! This is great!
What a great idea.
Paging Dr. Jeffrey.
Paging Dr. Jeffrey!!
Oh. This is great.
Oh. Mother...
- Yes.
- Yes!
Oh Jeffrey!
Don't be selfish, lover!
Hold 'em still.
Give it here!
Jeffrey.
Jumbo heaven!!
Is it sort of hot in here?
Aahh!
All Right!
Ohh...
That was wonderful.
Hey!
'Scuse me?
'Scuse me?
Listen.
I'm looking for a very tall
attractive woman.
She's purple and she's got fresh
scars on her.
'Scuse me.
Pal.
I'm looking for a.. a..
Tall attractive..
Well, she's got a sexy purple outfit on.
She's got a scar on her neck.
She's very sick!
Hey!
Excuse me?
Please.
You gotta help me out here.
I'm looking for my girlfriend.
She's very sick.
I gotta get her
her medicine.
She's tall.
She's got..Ehh..
She's purple.
She's got some scars on her.
A purple outfit.
Have you seen her around here?
What are you talking about?!
What are you?
Some kind of a Swede?!
You're talking to me in Swedish
in Times Square!
Elisabeth!
Hey!
Hey Doll-face!
How about those Mets?
Well. Actually I'm not to fond
of organized sports.
I'm more of a one on one
type guy.
I kinda prefer a certain
indoor sport.
You know what I mean?
I bet if I Ehh...
Stick my tongue down your throat.
Fifty bucks!
Just like that!
You're looking for some company
this evening?
What's happening, sugar?
Listen. Girls.
I need some help.
Oh, I'm sure I can help you.
I know I can.
I'm looking for a tall purple girl.
She's got a black forearm..
And.. And fresh stitches..
We got handcuffs, whips,
enemas, dildos,
rags, chain-link, barbed wire...
And feathers.
She's also got a tattoo on her arm.
It's a "Z".
In a circle.
That's one of Zorro's girls.
They're all gone.
They're dead.
No, they're not.
They are coming back!
They're gonna be back
in a couple of weeks.
What do you know about this, huh?
Oh! What do you
fucking know about this, huh?
What do you dress like that for man?
To do the right thing.
Did you do the fuckin' right thing?
That's the question.
Did you do the right thing?
I'm going to the hospital now.
I gotta go to my emergency room.
I'll put you in the fucking emergency room.
What are you?
A sick son of a bitch!
- Party!!
- Party!!
Wanna party?
Jersey Boy here wants a twosome.
Lonely?
Need some company?
Goin' out?
Want a date?
Party!
Got any money?
I dont know.
They didn't leave.
They didn't go nowhere.
They just blew up.
Blew up?
Fucking exploded.
One minute, they are my bitches.
The next they are pieces all over!
Well...
When a man loses he's ho's...
He loses everything!
I didn't lose 'em man!
They just blew up!
That's what happened man!
Yeah Zorro.
I'll catch you later.
Brush it up with you
and them bloomin' bitches.
Holy shit girls!
It's Jones!
Super Jones!
A whole shitload of Jones!
One of these days I'm gonna get
sick and tired of this shit
and let one of you pugs win.
Hey Spike!
What the hell is that?
Well hello baby!
Pretzels good!
Hey babe!
For your own good...
Go easy on those Pretzels.
Now, I know that I never saw you
here before.
Of course...
I would have most
surely remembered.
Are you gonna take
my temperature Doc?!
I bet you got a big thermometer!
Uhh.. Baby!
I just loves a woman
who knows what she wants.
OK. Girls.
Listen up!
This here is Jersey Boy.
Doctor Jersey Boy.
But you can call him Jeffrey.
Zorro told you
all about Jeffrey.
It's his party and he wants to play Doctor.
Oh yeah!
Hey babe...
There's way to many freaks
in this joint.
Hows about if you and I
just skip out.
To some place a little
more.. Intimate.
Oop!
Zorro said you have thirty minutes
with the girl you pick.
But you gotta pick.
Coz the rest of us gotta go.
Whatever baby.
Look...
Why don't you and I...
We can sit right over here.
Are we gettin' paid?
Oh. Baby...
It's not right...
A woman like you...
You're...
Beautiful.
Go protected.
All alone.
In a city like this.
There's sharks all around.
Folks, who could just as easily
prey upon a woman
as unusual as you.
A woman so distinctively different.
Somebody's gotta take care of you.
Somebody like me,
who can protect you.
Somebody who'll understand your needs...
..Who are strong.
Honey, in case you aint noticed...
I not only got all the right parts...
But I got 'em in all the right places!
Oh I noticed...
I noticed.
Ohh.. I noticed.
Uh! Honey!
Look at Miss Thang.
Anyone got a stamp?
Ohh Pavelarna Drake!
Mother of Harlots.
And abomned nations of the earth.
Are we sure unto thee, the judgment
of the Grey whore,
the woman arrayed in purple and Scarlett.
Things of the earth
has committed fornications.
And lived illiciously with her.
They shall whale and lament
when they see the smoke
of her burning.
So, you've seen her?
She's in the Bar!
God bless.
Who the fuck are you?
How come you know about
me and Jersey Boy?
This aint your tattoo.
This aint your arm!
Where'd you get this arm?
This is one of my bitches arm!
Who the fuck are you?
Coming through.
I'm a Doctor.
Alright?
Let me through.
Just step to the side.
Take it easy.
It's like...
It's like a soccer game.
Elisabeth!
Elisabeth!
Jersey Boy.
Christ Elisabeth.
I didn't bring you back to have you
hang out in a joint like this.
Now come on.
We're going home.
Let's go.
I told you! I told you!
OK. Come on.
Just put one...
I know.
One step in front of the other.
That's right!
Yes! I told you!
I know you did.
I told you! I told you!
Don't bump your head. That's right.
Nice and easy.
Yes! I told you!
I know you did.
OK. Thank you!
I told you!
That's a good man.
Yes! Yes! I told you!
Thank you.
I told you! I told you!
Taxi!
Oh god Elisabeth.
I didn't want things to
turn out this way.
I didn't want you
to turn out this way.
Elisabeth.
Please!
Elisabeth.
I know you're not a hooker.
You're not a hooker Elisabeth.
You're not! You're not!
Of course I'm not.
Why in the world would you ever
say anything like that, Jeffrey?
Elisabeth.
Elisabeth, is that..
Is that you?
What are we doing here?
What happened to Mom and Dad
and the party?
I...
I...
You don't remember?
The Lawnmower!
Oh God! What's happened to me?
You were...
You were gone.
A coma?
Worse.
Dead?
I brought you back Elisabeth.
I brought you back to life.
How?
Oh, a bunch of things.
I've got it all written down over there.
This is fantastic.
This is incredible!
What a miracle.
You have to share this
with the rest of the world
No. No.
It's half a miracle. I.. I..
My.. My blood serum is estrogen based.
I mean I can only bring back women.
Oh.. But just think of
how many people you can save.
Jeffrey. I'm so proud of you.
So very very proud of you.
These aren't my arms!
This isn't my hand.
These aren't my legs!
This isn't my breast!
Look at me!
What have you done?
Take it easy alright?
Just calm down.
I can explain everything.
I had to make a few changes.
That's all.
There wasn't enough of you left
to fry an egg with.
But I feel so strange.
As if there were so many
different women
inside of me.
Alright. Maybe I had to do
a few unorthodox things.
But, you know...
Thing's didn't turn out so bad.
I mean...
I love you.
I love you.
And you're alive.
And I love you Elisabeth.
Now, more than ever.
I love you.
And we're gonna spend
the rest of our lives together.
Me and you.
Oh god!
Why did you do this?
Who are you?
No. No. No. No.
The question is who are you?
And for what happened here
your ass is mine.
And I'm taking possession right now!
You hear me, honey?
You hear me Crystal?
Do you hear me Angel?
Chartreuse?
Snow?
Sugar?
Monkey?
I know you all in there.
Everyone of you.
Well, Zorro's here
to take care of you again.
And Zorro knows what you need
to get in the right state of mind.
Some of this sweet, sweet rock.
What the fuck?
Oh shit!
Get the fuck away from me!
Get the fuck away from me!
Anybody got a stamp?
Jeffrey!
I have an idea.
Jeffrey!
Yuhuu!
Wake up.
You awake?
Elisabeth.
Jeffrey!
What happened?
Some man named Zorro came by here.
Zorro?
What? Here?
Yes.
Jeffrey, you were...
You were gone.
Dead?
How did...
What...
Well, you kept very good notes.
And of course I used
living parts.
Living parts?
What do you mean?
Living parts?
Holy shit.
That's.. Not my hand.
What are these boobs?
Elisabeth!
What did you do to me?
I can explain.
Obviously, since your serum only works
on female body parts
I couldn't reuse your old body
or even Zorro's.
So naturally I had to make changes.
No! Look!
Where's my Johnson?
What did you do to me, Elisabeth?
Granted.
What I did may have been
a bit unorthodox...
But, Hey!
You look great.
And you're alive.
And you're back with me
and I love you.
I love you Jeffrey
and we're together again.
All of us.
Together again.
Together again.