1
Sometimes, I dream I can fly.
But I'm so exhausted
from flapping my wings
and the higher I soar,
it reminds me
of how little I fit in
with them on the ground.
So I rise and I rise
and I realize that
I don't wanna fly anymore.
They never knew what they were
looking up at anyway.
But my mother did.
She always saw me.
I called her Muv.
And I loved her
like nothing else.
A living testament to grace
glamour and Gucci.
She had it all.
A siren in stilettos.
Abandon all hope
any men that fall
under her enchantment.
She is just..
Beyond.
Isn't she a vision?
That dress was to die for.
Well, it should be.
The price tag
nearly killed your father.
He knows the price of everything
and the value of nothing.
Did you just come up with that?
No, I stole it from Oscar Wilde.
We'd stay up late
dissecting and gossiping
the night away.
I could've stayed
in that parlor forever.
Just me and she.
A circle of two.
Unfortunately,
sometimes we were three.
Daddy Downer.
My parents fought
and fought like hell.
I never really knew
what drew them together.
But I was there that night
when they fell apart.
He headed south
and I stayed with Muv
for seven blissful years.
When she left this summer
destination unknown
I was shipped
to daddy's family estate.
And thankfully,
I didn't come alone.
Muv armed me with an unflinching
sense of style, glamor
and a closet full of frocks
bangles and beads.
So when she made her exit
I made them my entrance.
And, let's face it.
Father's old home
could use a little... wow.
You again?
What am I going to do with you?
These are just words
and it's always better
to show than to tell.
So buckle up, darlings
because I'm gonna
take you on a little ride
I call my life.
It's time for school, Billy.
Oh, be with us, Jesus.
And take off
that glitter eyeshadow.
This isn't
"Dancing With The Stars."
This isn't Connecticut.
You're in the red states now.
You cannot go to your first
day of school like that.
You sweet, precious woman.
Of course I'm not
going to school like this.
Hi.
So I am Billy Bloom.
I just transferred here
from Darien, Connecticut
the hometown of Chloe Sevigny.
Hello!
And I realized for me
it was already over.
That is a fantastic tee
you're wearing.
You gotta...
Touch me again
and I'll kick your ass.
Oh!
You have got quite
a potty mouth on you.
Mm.
Go Griffins!
Go Griffins!
Welcome, class, to the
beginning of the school year.
I was a hit.
Good gosh almighty.
Told you to change.
I can take you shopping
for blue jeans on my day off
if it's okay
with Mr. Bloom.
Blue jeans
weren't gonna save me.
Maybe a ticket to Mars would.
Or Milan.
Anywhere..
But here.
You know, son
there's a great saying.
"The nail that sticks out
gets hammered down."
Hmm, yeah.
Well, Father
you'd certainly know
an awful lot
about getting hammered.
I'm not the one
with that problem.
I have to leave this town.
I've been hated
by some people before.
But not by everyone.
Psst.
Hey, Billy.
Hi.
Okay, I just wanted
to let you know
that not everyone
in this school is a dick.
And I think you're amazing.
I think I just
made a friend
in this vipers' den.
Shit. I missed her name.
You know? Anyway..
If I can just catch a break
in her verbal avalanche,
I can ask h.. Hold on.
Did she just say,
"Blah, blah, blah?"
Anyway, pretty much
the school is douche soup
and they're all stewing in it.
- All of them?
- Yeah.
- I'll show you.
- But I don't care.
She's an angel.
Bib Oberman was in a boy band.
- No way!
- Way.
They were called
"In Twink."
Would you die or what?
Oh.
And that's Lynnette Franz.
There's nothing she wouldn't do
to become homecoming queen.
Including burning
her competition
at the stake.
We thought that was
just a metaphor
until we saw her
in the crucible.
She wasn't acting.
- And who's that?
- Oh, Sesame Blixton.
She's secretly dating
the entire basketball team.
I guess it's better
than the swim team.
Chlorine is such a turn off.
And that's Tiffany Tarbell.
She's a cutter for Christ.
Nobody's seen
her forearms
since 8th grade.
Second-in-command
on Lynnette's God squad.
Big guy right there,
that's Bo-Bo Peterson.
He's a God on the football field
which is kind of ironic
considering
he's dating the devil.
The kid behind me, I don't know.
We don't talk to him.
Who is that?
Oh, that's Flip Kelly.
There's like
a whole story.
You don't know it?
Okay, it was during
the homecoming game
of sophomore year.
The Griffins were down by three
when Flip, AKA Mark Kelly
executed a spectacular
last minute quarterback sneak
leaping and jumping
ten feet in the air
over the defensive line
and landing in the end zone.
Oh, my God.
The whole town
needed a cigarette
after that catch.
And after that,
it was "Goodbye, Mark.."
- Hello, Flip.
- Exactly.
But it keeps going.
The whole town was whipped up
into such a frenzy
that they nominated him
as homecoming king
even though he was
only a sophomore.
So, Flip declines the title
and says it should go
to Bib Oberman.
Because he said Bib
was the real guy who led
the team to victory.
I mean, people just
lost their freaking minds.
Because of what a wonderful
selfless young man
Flip Kelly was.
And from that day on
the kid could do no wrong.
I am a part volatile
Can be as cold
as a winter beast but
Just like a child
a juvenile
My ego smile
I look the other way
And you can say
Anything you want
to me
Tell me any way
you choose..
Is it just me
or does he literally move
in slow motion?
It's not the truth
No I couldn't
take that from you
How could
I take that?
So say
Anything
you want to me
Anything
but the truth
I didn't mean to startle you.
I certainly did not mean
to make that sound.
You're funny.
You're Flip.
Well, I just wanted,
uh, to say hi.
Just introduce myself.
Hey, girl.
Hi.
Is that "Dorian Gray?"
Well, that's crazy, man.
We're reading'
the same book.
I wasn't gonna be
the one to tell him
the entire senior class
was reading it
this semester.
Uh, well, um..
You know, I just..
I'll see you around?
And don't pay attention
to those assholes
in Biology.
I think you're okay.
What are you doing over here?
Just wanted to see
how you're acclimating
to the new school.
I'm not a ficus plant, Father.
I don't acclimate.
You know, I remember
how you liked that
Thai restaurant back in Darien.
There's a great place
in town that we can...
I'm really sorry,
I'm in the middle
of something really important.
Oh, Muv,
I miss you terribly.
You haven't answered
any of my messages.
I know I'm only
supposed to be here
for the semester,
and I'm trying to fit in.
But I don't know how much
of me they can take.
Come and get me.
Love, your withering Bloom.
Billy.
Alright, class, listen up.
Now, your oral book reports
will be due October 18th.
Girls? Girls.
Break it up.
I've given you
a choice of topics.
"Zelda Fitzgerald,"
"The Teapot Dome Scandal"
and "The Picture
Of Dorian Gray."
Now, there's plenty of time
between now and October 18th.
Don't let me down.
Have a great rest of your day.
Class dismissed.
The ladies who lynch.
- Hi!
- Hey.
It's Billy, right?
Yes, it is indeed.
Well, we just wanted
to come on over
and say "Hey."
- Hey.
- Hey.
We all might've gotten off
on kind of the wrong foot
seein' as you are,
you know, the new queer.
I mean, um,
I mean... I mean, kid
on the block and all.
Yeah, I guess you're right.
Just, we're not really
used to people like you
around here.
- You mean amazing people?
- No.
I mean, like, boys
who dress like...
- Fashion icons?
- No, she means...
Legends of the runway?
Girls. She means boys
who dress like girls.
Anyway, don't mind her.
We were actually just
wondering if, you know
you'd like to help us
with our style
seein' as you've got it
all goin' on.
Absolutely, it'd be my pleasure.
How about we start right now?
Okay, Sesame.
Ditch the sweatpants.
Like Lagerfeld said
"It's the ultimate
sign of defeat."
Pretty funny, isn't it, Tiff?
Almost as funny as those wedges.
What are you trying
to do with those things?
- Kill a family of rats?
- Don't you dare.
One must always dare, darling.
Or else we'd all end up
looking like you.
Well, this has been fun.
We should do it
again sometime, okay?
Kisses.
I know I just signed
my own death warrant.
But sometimes, you just
gotta dress a bitch down.
What is it this time, Bloom?
I am being
practically terrorized out there
and you won't lift
a fetal pig's brow
to stop it.
Is someone teasing you?
Yes, uh, Bernie, Bib
Tiffany, Lynnette Franz
all day, every day.
Aren't you being
overly dramatic?
Normally, I would take
that as a compliment
but, no, I'm not, look at this.
Mr. Reamer.
You have to transfer me
out of that class.
Nothing I can do.
So, you're just gonna
sit there and watch
like a good German?
If Mr. Reamer won't
transfer me out of Biology
I'm gonna get myself
kicked out of Biology.
How?
It's Lindsay Lohan
that gets kicked out
of all those four-star
hotels and strip clubs,
not Taylor Swift.
The pussiest pimple gets popped.
Okay.
Billy, you're starting
to scare me.
What're you gonna do?
I'm gonna get popping.
What?
Weeks rolled by
as I slalomed through
the daily shitshow
of masticated spitballs.
Total war.
What're you lookin' at, faggot?
You, Bernard.
The faggot is clearly
looking at you.
If you losers
can't see..
The hash-fag.
Life is hard, Billy.
Yes, but it's beautiful too.
Don't you know
your queen?
Whipped
Should we slow down, Muv?
Heaving
Slow down?
Oh-ho-ho.
To slow down would be
a fatal mistake.
Don't you know
your queen?
Cracked
Peeling
Slop on that gunk.
Hide that desperation.
Goal?
To erase Billy Bloom completely.
Let someone else
take over for a while.
When Billy looked around
and saw all he created
he said..
"It is good."
It is very good.
No family is safe
When I sashay
That's messed up.
What are you doin'?
Hey hey hey hey
Hey hey hey hey
Hey hey hey hey
Don't you know
your queen?
Gleaming
Wrapped
in golden leaf
Don't you know me?
Rank
Ragged
Skin sewn on sheets
Are you happy, Billy?
Me?
I've never been happier.
...the barracks
It's hard to be happy
when you're
a chrysanthemum in a coal mine.
You know what I mean?
Into the fold
Marry
No family is safe
When I sashay
Hey! Move!
Listen, I've gotta
prepare you
for this world.
The world can be a cold,
hard, humorless place.
No! Move!
That's why..
You must always
let your fancy roam.
Yeah, I want you
to learn to take
a deep breath.
- And if life kicks you..
- Muv.
You just kick harder!
Higher!
Higher!
Higher!
Muv.
Higher! Higher!
Muv.
Mr. Bloom.
Hey, Mr. Bloom,
I think he's wakin' up.
You're still
in the hospital, son.
You were in a coma
for five days.
Where is Muv?
She was just here.
Well, she couldn't make it, son.
Probably blacked out in a ditch.
- What did you say?
- Uh, she sends her love.
Welcome back, Billy.
You gave us all
quite a scare there.
How many fingers
am I holding up?
- One.
- Good.
Any blurred vision?
Headaches? Nausea?
All of the above.
Could I get some
lip gloss please?
When can I
take him home, doctor?
In a few days.
Your son has multiple abrasions
contusions, concussions
organ trauma and hemorrhaging
that we need to keep an eye on.
Well, I guess they
didn't like the dress.
Billy is quite
a fighter, Mr. Bloom.
The good news is
he is going to mend
with at least
a month of bed rest
and a little physical therapy.
You will feel quite dizzy
for a while
so just..
You take it easy, okay?
What happened?
Sir, do you mind if I tell him?
Of course not.
Uh, could you guys,
uh, give us a minute?
I'd... I'd like
to hear this, um, alone.
I'll give you
five minutes, okay?
And check his vitals and, uh..
Get the boy some lip gloss.
Hey.
Hi.
You know, you've got
a great dad.
He's been so worried
about you, Billy.
Me too, I've been here
just about everyday.
Most days, anyway, and..
I've been talking
to you non-stop.
Did you hear me?
No.
I even got you a..
Fashion magazine.
Ooh..
I'll just leave it here,
alright?
So, there were these guys
just texting shit about you.
And I... I didn't really
think much of it
'cause everyone's been
talking shit about you
since you got here.
They have?
Billy, come on.
When you didn't
show up to Bio lab
and, and
neither did... did
Tim and Sal
and those asshole
sophomore jocks..
Uh, look, Billy, I tried.
Like I really, really tried...
Flip..
It's... it's... it's okay.
I am not mad.
I'm grateful.
You saved my life.
Really?
Really, really, really.
Alright, well,
I gotta go, alright?
Where are you going?
Football practice.
You're..
Oh, you're good, buddy.
Doc said you're gonna be
good as new, back to..
Think fast, Bloomy.
Think fast.
Doctor!
What happened?
- What happened?
- I... I don't know!
Thank you, Flip.
Okay, you're home now.
And I better get goin', so..
What? No, no, no, no, no.
Stay here, you just got here.
Yeah, well, I just,
I just figured, you know
you'd want some rest
or... or call,
call your friends.
- Or something.
- Relax.
You can't catch
multiple contusions.
Florence will make you
something to eat.
I... I... I just
wanna thank you
for everything that you've done.
Yeah, you know, Billy,
I appreciate it,
I... I do
but, I'm not, I just,
I really... I really
better get going.
Bye.
Holy..
You're an expressionist.
Huh, I see.
Well, yeah, I'm not
a total caveman, Billy.
You know, when I saw this,
this was part
of an exhibit
at the Met in New York.
Yeah, it was on loan.
Daddy likes to spread the wealth
but not the hugs and kisses.
I told my dad that
I was gonna go see a Mets game.
And he bought it.
Oh, were these
the extra glitter?
- I love it.
- You like it?
Okay, so, I have
to tell you about school
because, literally
literally everybody
is talking about you.
And you are a hero.
You are a martyr to the cause.
They had an assembly
at school
about hate crimes.
And a sensitivity speaker
was brought in
and she talked about tolerance.
She showed a movie
and everythin'.
A movie? Yeah, well,
that'll show 'em.
No, all those guys
who beat you up,
they got expelled.
On the spot.
Just like that.
The school now has
a zero-tolerance policy
on all hate crimes.
And it's because of you,
really, it is.
Well, whatever I can do,
I will do.
Okay, so, Flip Kelly
beat the crap
out of Bernie
the day after you were attacked
because he was laughing
about how you'd gotten
your ass kicked.
And Lynnette Franz!
She broke up
with Bo-Bo Peterson.
But nobody knows why.
Okay, did you hear
about Sesame Blixton?
No, but tell me or I'll die.
Okay. She got a boob job.
Monster snoobs.
As a 17th birthday present
from her dad!
Right? I know!
Why! Ah!
Apparently, she got
the boob job to get
Flip's attention
because she wants
to ask him to homecoming.
So how's he doin', ma'am?
A little tired but..
- Well, look who's back.
- Hey, Billy.
Actually, I, uh, gotta go.
- Feel better, Billy.
- Okay.
Come on, uh, honey,
I'll show you out.
Hey!
What'd you say your name was?
What's her name again?
I have no idea.
She's my very best friend.
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
I thought I was. Hmm?
Who's been comin'
over here everyday
like he said he would?
- You have.
- Hmm.
But, you spend all your time
in the drawing room
or talking about fly fishing
with my father, so..
I know, I love it!
I can't believe
the dude hates football.
It's the only thing
we have in common.
Do you hate football?
What?
No.
Who could hate football?
Well, except you two.
I don't know,
I just don't love it
as much as everyone thinks I do.
You're leaving skid marks
on daddy's new runner.
He's gonna freak out
when he sees the mess
that you have made, young man.
What's that Goddamned noise?
Oh, ha-ha, Flip!
Here.
- Hey.
- Hey!
- Let me give you
a hand with that.
- Oh, thank you.
That "that" is your son.
How're you doin',
Mr. Bloom?
Even daddy
is under Flip's spell.
Here's what he was hoping.
That somehow
just my sheer proximity
to a manly man like Flip
will knock the sissy out of me
and maybe then, I'll gut fish
and give him grandchildren.
- Florence! Uh!
- Oh!
Apparently, Florence
is the only one
in the house
immune to Flip's charm.
Why don't you
make these boys
some of that delicious
Virginia fried chicken of yours?
What fried chick..
Why not?
- What is that?
- That is a broiled
grapefruit.
And it's not gonna
kill you, I promise.
Honestly, Billy, I think
I'd just rather have
a peanut butter
and jelly sandwich.
Oh! No way!
Hey, Mr. Bloom!
Hey, Flip! How about
a little doodle socking
tomorrow after school?
Oh, you got it!
- We're on!
- Alright, I'll
see you later.
I hope that's a fish.
It's actually
a style of fishing.
You got the best dad.
Yeah..
If you're you.
But this is the most
that I've seen or talked
to the man in seven years.
He turned on me
when I was ten years old
the first time I sashayed
across his marble floor
in his wife's satin slingbacks.
Daddy never recovered.
- That's a shoe, right?
- A-plus.
Okay. Okay. Okay.
It was very traumatic.
I was exiled from
the family after that.
No more regattas.
No more barbecues.
My life as a Bloom
had officially ended.
So, are you gonna eat
that broiled grapefruit
or what?
Dude, you got it so good.
You've no idea.
I'm so sorry,
what is so good about it?
Everything.
You can dress
however the hell you like.
You can dye your hair
orange or pink.
Sleep till noon.
No one gives a shit.
Yeah, but that's because
no one gives a shit.
Yeah, you wanna
hear about my dad?
I was eight.
I skipped out on Pop Warner.
I wanted to go
to the comic book store.
My dad found me there.
I've never seen him so pissed.
In front of all my friends
he pulled down my pants
and beat me raw.
Oh.
I couldn't sit down for a week.
- That's terrible.
- It gets worse.
He made me burn all my comics.
Every single one of them
and, dude
I had this
Amazing Spider-Man 252.
That would be worth
bank right now.
What a prick.
"Man is many things,
but he is not rational."
- Oscar Wilde.
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
- I love that line.
What would you do if you
didn't play football?
Don't laugh.
Who could I laugh at?
I'd be an artist.
I knew it.
How could you?
I have a gift for the obvious.
Besides, you were
practically drooling
over daddy's Jackson Pollock.
I think you like football
as much as I like
eating with my fingers.
Alright, is it time for you
to roll around the backyard?
Twice a day.
Let's do it. Come on.
On your right
is the historic home
of the Bloom family.
They are one
of the city's
founding families.
Now, that's a naughty monkey.
Welcome to the jungle, baby.
You need to eat.
Merci beaucoup.
I didn't choose to be fabulous.
Fabulous chose me.
Arm.
I was thinking maybe
you could be a little
less fabulous tomorrow.
- Just tone it down
a little.
- What?
I just think if the guys
got to know you
the way I do
then your situation
at school might get
a whole lot better.
Less ostrich feather,
a little more Wrangler.
And, uh..
N.. Say it.
I'm sure it'll only be insulting
for the first minute or two.
Just, uh, lay off the, uh..
The, the, "Hey, girl."
Why don't we save that
for after school
and stick to chicks,
cars and zombie flicks
from 8:30 to 3:00?
So, you want me to change
who I am for them?
No, for me.
I think we've established
that I'd do pretty much
anything for him.
I'll think about it.
- Ta-da. I'm done.
- Finally.
Flip, it is beyond beyond.
- This is...
- Yeah?
Oh, I like that shoe.
It's really beautiful.
Thank you.
Well, look at you.
It was Flip's idea.
You know, you'll never
be able to get
what you want from a boy
like Flip Kelly.
Florence, we're just friends.
And I don't want
anything more
from that relationship.
Really, I don't need love.
Or sex or physical attention.
I'm perfectly happy
with things
the way they are.
Thank you very much.
Well, you might be able
to tell that to yourself
but you can't tell that
to old Florence.
What.. Uh!
Your lunch. Hello?
Would it kill you
to cut off the crust?
I can't. I can't.
- Yes, you can.
- I can't.
Yes, you can. Trust me.
How can I face them
after what they did
to me, huh?
How can they face you?
That's their shit, Billy.
Come on. I got your back.
It's great
to have you back, Billy.
Translation,
"Please don't sue me."
For the yearbook, Billy.
Whatever I can do for you..
I'll let you know,
Mrs. Monusky.
- I'll let you know.
- Okay, class?
Ready? Okay!
B-I-L-L-Y.
Who's our high school's
favorite guy?
- Billy!
- Billy.
Peace be with you.
Let the healing begin.
Hello.
Make that leap.
Make that leap.
Hey, what are you guys
talking about?
Fashion.
'Cause I thought that
we were talkin' football.
We were talkin'
about shoulder pads.
FYI, they rocked
the runway in Paris
last spring.
Well, I thought we were
talking about football.
And anyway, you didn't say
anything about my pants.
Are these butch, baby, or what?
Billy?
I thought we said
more Wrangler, less fabulous.
Yeah, I thought you were joking.
I'm not.
Fag!
Billy?
Now, before you say anything
you said after school,
I could be me.
And this is me.
You look awesome.
Seriously?
Four hours in hair and makeup.
I've been preened, plucked
and bustiered so tightly
that my toes
are turning blue,
and "Awesome"?
No.
I look Atlantastic.
Okay, Atlantastic.
Why'd you run away
after class today?
I didn't run.
I was chased.
Oh.
We're making progress, right?
I mean, you're not
getting beamed in the head
as much anymore.
Am I not?
This is crazy.
I'm compromising myself
for reasons
I don't even understand anymore.
I need a drink.
Want me to hold your thing?
Shut up.
Flip, Flip!
I'm so sorry.
I'm so sorry. I must've
made them pretty strong.
I forgot, that's how
Muv likes them.
Stop callin' me Flip.
I hate it.
It's a stupid nickname.
Call me Mark.
Mark.
You know what, Billy?
You're alright.
Thank you very much.
No, I mean it.
I mean it.
You are who you are, and..
And... yes?
I have somethin' for you.
His name's Lenny.
I want you to have him.
- Really?
- Take him.
I mean, so what
if he's half-burnt?
He's screwed up.
He'll fit right in here.
You know what I mean?
I wanna tell him
I don't know
what he's talking about
but I don't wanna
ruin the moment.
I think he's tryin'
to explain our friendship
in straight terms
which I'm not very fluent in.
Billy, you're gonna
be great tomorrow.
They're gonna love you.
Just remember,
no pizazz, alright?
Hey, no pizazz, alright?
I've gotta be me, Mark.
Do you?
I've got to be me.
The pain!
Do you feel the flames?
Do you feel the hellfire
flickerin' at your feet?
I am the ghost
of Zelda Fitzgerald.
And when I danced
upon this mortal coil
with my husband,
F. Scott, and I
we knew boundless joy
and unfathomable pain.
Our larger-than-life
escapades
and violent,
gin-fueled tantrums
defined the Roarin' Twenties.
And I, I still remember
how we danced
how we drank, how we fought
and how we loved
like there was
no... tomorrow.
And now..
As my skin
blisters and burns
scorches and curls off the meat
and with every flame lick
I endure
I'm reminded of my own..
Personal damnation.
From madcap
to just plain mad..
I am Zelda Fitzgerald!
And I wrote
"The Great Gatsby."
And scene.
In all 27 years of my teaching
I have never been
more thrilled
by a book report.
Oh, no, no, no.
Mrs. Monusky,
that's so kind.
If you'll excuse me,
I've gotta scrape cereal
off my face.
Of course.
Bright light city
gonna set my soul
Gonna set my soul
on fire
Got a whole
lot of money
That's ready to burn
So get those stakes
up higher
There's a thousand
pretty women
Waitin' out there
And I'm just the devil
with love to spare
Viva Las Vegas
Viva Las Vegas..
Maybe dancing
on the coffee table
was a bad idea.
Listen to me, Junebug.
You only get one shot
at the pageant
so who cares
if you smash up
a few tables?
At least you danced.
Jesus Christ!
Oh!
Well, if it isn't
the disappearing man.
You missed it all, William.
And yet, you were not missed.
Goddammit, Muv,
what's wrong with you?
Stop it!
Don't yell at her!
It's okay. I'm used to it.
What were you thinking?
Stop! I did it!
- I broke the table!
- Is that the truth?
"The truth is rarely pure
and never simple."
- What?
- Oscar Wilde,
you philistine.
- Just go to bed!
- At least I danced.
Isn't that right, Muv?
Yes, love. That's right.
- Thank you very much.
Ever let the fancy roam.
Hey, ladies, get in line!
Time to hit the rope.
You know the drill.
One of you holds.
One of you climbs.
Coach Carter. Sir. Hi.
I don't feel like
this is something
I should be doing.
This isn't a therapy session.
That's the whole point!
You're not supposed to feel!
You're supposed
to be a man and do!
Now let's go!
Bloom, you hold.
Bo-Bo, you climb.
You can handle that, right?
Feelings?
Oh, sweet, baby Jesus,
no, no, no.
Don't do this to me.
Not Bo-Bo.
Another perfect specimen
of Gluteus and Maximus.
I closed my eyes for one second
and my President Johnson
was saluting the troops.
Hey, Bo-Bo, Billy's got
a present for you.
And it's tiny.
Hey, guys, guys!
Just quit it!
Hey!
Knock it off.
It's embarrassing enough
as it is.
Bloom, why don't you
hit the showers?
Make it a cold one.
- Oh!
- Oh!
Alright, you morons
this kind of thing
can happen to anyone.
A hundred push-ups
right now!
It could.
His ass was in my face.
It could have been
anyone's ass.
- Yo...
- I'm at the mercy
of my hormones!
Look, dude,
all I'm sayin'
is that it's just
it's a tough thing
to live down, alright?
Maybe it's not such a big deal.
I mean, Coach Carter said
this happens to everybody.
Don't even think
about taking a shower
with us, boner.
Oh, come on, man.
Dickwad.
Leave him alone.
What, are you two
butt buddies or somethin'?
Dude, back off.
Oh, so you are!
You're fudge packers.
Shut up!
Oh!
Fight! Fight!
Hey, break it up!
Break it up! Break it up!
- Fucking faggot!
- Are you kidding me?
It's homecoming in two weeks.
Are you trying
to make me bench you?
Look at me.
What's goin' on?
Is there something you
need to talk about, Flip?
No, nothing.
Help me out here, guys.
What's goin' on?
Billy, what's goin' on?
Billy. Billy!
Oh, Flip, Flip,
please tell me
it's not true.
You're not gay, right?
Flip, I heard Billy
was practically
ass raping you in gym class.
That's a lie, and besides,
I was behind him.
Well, at least
we know you're the top.
Would you shut up?
Hey, hey, hey, are you okay?
Yeah, I'm okay, I'm fine.
Would you just please
just get out of here?
I was just trying to help.
Well, stop helpin', okay?
You know what,
we'll let you guys
have your little
lover's quarrel alone.
- We're not...
- Let's get out of here,
Mark. Come on.
Get off me, you homo!
Oh, no, trouble in paradise?
Muv?
- Muv?
- Hi.
Junebug!
Mr. Bloom is on his way.
I see you found the bar.
You're out of gin.
I've missed you so much.
I can't stand another second.
Just take me home.
Let me look at you.
Darling, when did you
start wearing blue jeans?
Oh, no. I know.
But they're really
common around here.
I know,
that's the problem.
They're so common.
Oh, I was so worried about you.
I came as soon as I heard
you were in a coma.
That was five weeks ago.
I'm sorry I couldn't
get here any earlier.
I've been abroad.
Is that what they call
rehab these days?
Isn't there a toilet around here
that needs scrubbing, flossy.
Nothing around here
needs scrubbing
except for your mouth.
My angel.
- Where's Daddy, darling?
- Hiding.
Junebug.
Be a lamb and make
your Muv another drinkie.
Do you want
a Tequila Mockingbird?
Or a Sunset Boulevard
Bourbon on the rocks?
Surprise me.
Voila!
Put that thing out.
Happy?
Billy, go to your room.
No. I'm not
going anywhere.
Please, son, just go upstairs.
You're just upset
because Muv's
come back for me
and we're getting out
of Satan's strip mall.
You know what, honey,
I think
your father's right.
- No. You know what?
- You better go up...
Stay here.
Well, that didn't
take long, Miriam.
I just stopped
the payment on Thursday.
It's Mauveine, Bill.
Actually, it's not.
You know what,
I'll go start packing.
Goddammit, wake up!
She's not here to take you home!
Yes, she is. Tell him.
We're going home, right?
Is that why you're here?
Mom?
Don't call me that.
The deal is, son,
Oscar had it half-right.
The truth is rarely pure
but it's often very simple.
Ah..
Look, I need that money.
I deserve it.
I deserve it!
I'm not paying you child support
for a child you don't support.
Support him?
Christ, I was gonna flush him.
You wanted a son.
I gave you a son.
So pay up.
Checkie!
Just write the check
and I'll be out of here.
- You cut the crust off?
- Mm-hmm.
- Thank you.
- You bet.
Well.. Hello!
Hi, ma'am.
Is, uh, is Billy home?
Drink?
Something to drink?
Oh, no. No.
No, thank you.
I just, I just really
need to, to see Billy.
I'm Mauveine.
Enchante.
You're, you're Muv?
Wow! Wow, ma'am!
It's... it's a pleasure
for me to meet you.
I've heard so much
about you from Billy.
Friend of Billy's?
That's how they do it in Paris.
I've never been to Paris.
Football player too, huh?
- Yes, ma'am.
- Huh.
Isn't that
a co-in-ki-dink?
You know, I was
a big-time cheerleader.
I was.
Rah. Rah.
Rah!
Ms. Muv, ma'am, it's been
it's been real nice
getting to know you,
Ms. Muv.
- But I've really
got to go see Bi...
- Shake it to the left.
Shake it to the right.
Hit 'em to the left,
hit 'em to the right.
Stand up, sit down,
fight, fight, fight! Ah!
Oh, God! Oh!
Ms. Muv! Ms. Muv!
Let's get you up.
Come here, alright.
Here we go.
Here we go.
Oh!
Oh!
- Oh, Junebug? Junebug?
- Billy?
June... bug?
With all due respect,
ma'am, you're drunk.
That's the smartest thing
I've heard you say
since I met you, son.
You know what,
I have cleaned the toilets
and now it's time
to take out the trash.
Oh, simmer down, slugger.
My Uber... awaits.
Sometimes, I dream I can fly.
But I'm so exhausted
from flapping my wings
and the higher I soar,
it reminds me
of how little I fit in
with them on the ground.
So..
I rise..
And I rise, and I realize that..
I don't wanna fly anymore.
They never knew
what they were
looking up at anyway.
And so, it is
with great excitation
and an okay from the Almighty
that I announce my candidacy
for homecoming queen!
Over my dead body!
Look! We've got a jumper!
It's Billy Bloom!
I'm not killing myself,
you philistines!
I've never been
more determined
to live in my life.
I'm not gonna let some
bible-humping debutante
make a mockery of everything
I hold dear in this life.
Glamour, pageantry
and good hair.
I am announcing my candidacy
for homecoming queen!
Lynette! Help!
Are you dead?
It's time to put a real queen
in charge of things around here.
Wait, wait. What happened?
This is my interview.
Give me a second
please, Lynette.
It... it's Bloom,
isn't it? The coma kid?
Now, how do you wanna
be identified on camera?
Gay? Straight?
Transgender?
Transvisionary.
Gender obliviator.
Freak!
Okay, yeah, well,
I was gonna reclaim it
as my own anyway.
Works for me.
Wait, uh, now, this is my dream.
I'm standing here
with Billy Bloom
self-proclaimed freak
here at
Ulysses S. Grant Academy
where history is being made.
And this young man,
that's right, I said man
just announced his candidacy
for homecoming queen!
Billy? Thank God.
Oh, I was so worried.
You didn't text me back.
You don't need
to be afraid. They do.
Tell us about
your platform, Billy.
- Him? What about me?
- Well.
My platform is simple.
I am pro-glamour,
I'm anti-khaki.
I am pro-any-artistic-risk
and I'm against
any attempts
at categorization.
I am here to bring an end
to the hatred
I've found
at Ulysses S. Grant
and the world at large.
What do you think you're doing?
I'm going to watch golf
in peace.
Don't give me that look.
- What look?
- That look!
Oh, I know the world
is a horrible place
for rich, handsome,
entitled men.
Cry me a river.
I didn't ask him to come here.
And that was your first mistake.
I love my job, Mr. Bloom.
Lord knows I love this family.
But I'll walk
straight out that door
right here and now
if you don't stop
acting like an ass.
That's enough.
Oh, but I haven't even started.
Did you forget that
this is the child
that you prayed for?
Well, I remember,
because I'm the one
who taught you how to pray.
Well, I didn't pray for this.
It's all over the news.
He's running
for homecoming queen.
He is telling the monsters
who put him in a coma
"I will not let your abuse
and your insults
"define how I wear..
My tiara."
I'd rather be with my son.
But he doesn't want me.
I tried.
I tried in Darien
but Muv shut me down.
I tried here
and... he shut me out.
So keep trying.
You have more
in common with that boy
than you think.
Hey, girl, hey!
Billy, what do you
think you're doing?
Be gone, you have
no powers here.
Homecoming queen?
Billy?
Are you serious?
There's nothing
I can do for you now.
Don't you get that?
You've done quite enough, Mark.
Okay, you know what?
Fine.
You do what you want.
But don't expect me
to bail you out.
From now on, you're on your own.
Actually, I'm not.
How would you like
to be my sidekick?
Billy, I... I have been
waiting my whole life
for someone to ask me that.
N... no, I mean
your name is really Mary Jane?
Yeah.
What did you think it was?
Uh, it's not important
right now.
We have bigger problems
to solve.
And I don't want to do
this one alone.
You won't be alone.
I mean, we'll all
be there for you!
- So.. We?
- Okay, Billy.
I have wanting to tell you
about them forever.
But I was bound by oath
to keep their secret
until they told me
it was okay to let you in.
Who?
The shadow people.
- The who?
- The shadow people.
It's a secret population
of students
who survive on the fringes
of the academy.
They live
under the radar,
out of the spotlight.
They're just
regular students,
like you and me.
I mean, you see them everywhere.
You just don't notice them
because they know
how to blend in.
You see, the trick
is you have to be
attractive enough
as to not draw attention
but not attractive enough
as to stand out
in a sea of physical perfection.
You have to be,
um, a strict
seven and a half.
They've been waiting a long time
for someone like you
to come along
and they are ready
to lend their support.
I know you won't
let them down, Billy.
Students of Grant Academy
for too long
you have suffered in silence.
I am like you.
For too long, I thought
being on the outside
meant having no voice.
I accepted the moldings
and manipulations
that were pushed upon me
and was still
shamed into silence.
No more. No more!
No more. No more!
All that changes
from this moment on.
I know
that without hope,
you cannot live.
And without
a bit of glamour,
you can't live well.
We are important.
And we owe it
to the kids
that come after
the little boys and girls
with the wrong haircut
or wrong accent
or wrong curric...
Extra-curricular hobbies
to try and push ourselves
into the light.
Give them the hope of seeing
a boy nominated
for homecoming queen.
This is Felicia Watts
back at Ulysses
S. Grant Academy
where it's day five of
"Academy Under Siege."
What's at stake?
One girl's dream
and every girl's rights
and privileges.
With me is
homecoming queen nominee
Lynnette Franz.
Lynnette, can you
give us an update?
Can I ever!
Well..
So, I was supposed to be
the only candidate
running this year.
That's been the plan
since the seventh grade.
But then, this
sexually confused weirdo
announced that he was running.
Now, I don't know, maybe
maybe he doesn't realize
he's not a girl. Whatever.
He doesn't stand
a chance of winning
because everybody hates him.
Everybody?
Lynnette, look at
the walls around you.
The support for Grant Academy's
Gender Obliviator is palpable.
With all due respect, Felicia
this is a simple case of..
Decency versus depravity.
Tradition versus perdition.
And by the end of this election
I believe.. No.
I know that this school
and this nation
will come to its senses
and put a real queen
in charge of things
around here.
So, you don't think
Billy Bloom has a chance
of taking home the tiara?
A homosexual
representing our school?
I'd laugh if he wasn't
being so disrespectful.
I mean, it's like he's peeing
on the flag or something.
Look, he just wants attention
like all gays do, you know?
I do not.
Well, so, they can further
their gay agenda.
And that is
the God's honest truth.
What Billy is doing here
by running for homecoming queen
is destroying
the way of life
here at the academy.
Let's make America great again!
Bye, Felicia.
Disgruntled, delusional..
But determined
homecoming queen candidate
Lynnette Franz.
And I am sure we have not heard
the last of her.
And after me, say
"Let Billy Bloom!"
One, two, three..
- Let Billy Bloom.
- Let Billy Bloom.
Louder.
Come on.
- Let Billy Bloom.
- One more time.
- Let Billy Bloom.
- Let Billy Bloom.
Let Billy Bloom!
I love the shadow people!
They're like little
homecoming elves.
Oh. Yes! There ain't no
stopping us now, Billy.
Alright, if we can get
one A-lister on our side
I think we can turn this
whole election around.
Really, I do.
- What about Flip?
- Next.
- Bo-Bo Peterson?
- Not gonna happen.
No, I think we can
make it happen.
I mean, honestly,
he hates Lynnette now.
She broke up with him.
She broke his heart,
banged his brother.
I love it.
- Vote Lynette.
- Vote for me.
- Vote for Lynette.
- Vote for Lynette.
Vote for me.
Bo-Bo, I am so sorry
to hear about you and Lynnette
but have you
given any thought
to the other candidate
running for homecoming queen?
I ain't voting for that ho!
I'd just as soon vote
for a butt worm.
Well, naturally, I am flattered.
You got my vote.
Just make sure
you beat her.
Welcome to Team Bloom!
So, Bib, here's the deal.
When I give the signal
at the pep rally
you're gonna put
this button on your shirt.
What's the "F" for,
"Fag?"
No, it's for freak, you freak.
Or should I call you Kid Krush?
Okay, look, butt lick
I don't know how you
found out about In Twink
but if you don't
shut up about it,
I'll beat you so hard
you're gonna miss
that coma, you got it?
It's not so much did I get it
but this young,
budding Tarantino did.
Wait.
Where did she come from?
Only the shadows know.
Now, do we have your support
or do you want
that last little
hate crime rant
to go viral?
- Oh, no. Not again.
- What is it?
- Oh, it's nothing.
- No, no, no. Let me see.
"Dear Billy,
you are fierce."
Ain't nothing wrong with that.
Yeah, keep going.
Yadda, yadda, yadda..
"You make me sick.
"You're ruining everything.
"I'm going to tie you up
and fuck you
till you love me,
faggot."
Chill out, all I'm trying to do
is make this world
a little more pretty.
I know, right?
A stalker means
you're officially famous
which is good news.
I'm going to have to
get you a security detail.
Yeah, I'm feeling good about..
Yeah, I'll be
right back, alright?
- Hey.
- Hey.
I just wanted to say
good luck with the whole
homecoming queen thing.
Thank you.
And you, too.
With the big match,
I... I mean.
Not that...
The homecoming queen.
Too many queens
would spoil the broth.
- You're funny.
- You're Flip.
I miss hanging out
with you, Billy.
- Aren't you done yet?
- Yeah, just..
Just, uh, just give us a second.
It's been a second.
Yeah, just give us a minute!
I'm taking Sesame to the dance.
You know they're fake, right?
Billy, I think I'd know.
Oh, you sweet, innocent boy.
Go. Go on.
It's been a minute.
Hey, Billy, how's it going?
I've had better days.
I've got to sort out
all this stuff.
- Do you want a ride?
- With you?
I know I've been a dick,
but I wanna
make things right.
Yeah. Sure.
Thank you.
Get off. Get off.
Bernie, what the fuck..
You don't mean that.
Please don't tell anyone.
Don't tell anyone!
Ladies and gentlemen,
hello, and welcome
to the Ulysses
S. Grant Academy
homecoming game pre-show.
And I... and I know
how excited everyone is
to see this year's nominees
so without further ado
I present the parade of floats
made by your
homecoming queen
candidates.
First up, Miss Lynnette Franz!
Oh, come on.
These folks expect a show!
They want to be wowed!
Oh oh oh oh
You better run
better..
I mean, this is the float
that you've been planning
since the seventh grade?
This float was meant
to be her legacy.
It should have been
the ultimate expression
of who she was,
and the culmination
of all her hopes
and dreams and heartfelt
artistic yearnings!
Luckily, the crowd
didn't have too long
to dwell on this because..
And now, ladies and gentlemen
I present our second candidate.
Here comes Billy Bloom!
Ah ah
Candy
She's sweet like
Candy in my veins
Baby
I'm dying for
Another taste
And every night
my mind is
Running around her
Then it's
getting louder
And louder
Baby you're like
lightning in a bottle
I can't let you go
now that I got it
All I need is
To be struck
By your electric
Love
Baby you're
electric love
Surely, I have reached nirvana.
This is heaven on earth
and I haven't
even been crowned yet.
So, let's not let
four quarters of football
stand between me and my tiara
and just cut
to the end of the game.
Let's go, Griffin.
Let's go!
Let's go, Griffin.
Let's go!
There are 15 seconds
left to play
and we're down by three.
The fate of the entire universe
rests on Flip's broad shoulders.
Touchdown!
Oh, the Griffins scores
and with that
the Griffins win, 27
Huskies, 24.
I didn't see the touchdown.
I was looking at Flip.
Is he okay?
Those scouts.
His father.
This game..
He'll be okay.
It meant everything to him.
And just like that,
with one thumbs up
Flip Kelly was gone
and Mark Kelly
could paint the world
however he saw it.
I wanna congratulate
our Griffins!
And especially
Bo-Bo Peterson.
Stand up, Bo-Bo.
On a spectacular
game-winning touchdown.
And our thoughts
and prayers go out
to Flip Kelly
and hope that tonight's
unfortunate injury won't..
Let's just keep him
in our thoughts.
But now, it's time to give
our homecoming queen
nominees their chance
to say something before
the ballots are cast
and a winner is crowned.
First up, Lynnette Franz.
- Here, my dear.
- Thank you.
Hi, everyone.
How you doin'?
Okay..
Principal Onnigan, faculty
friends, cheer squad, God Squad
alumni and lunch ladies!
Let's hear it for the real girl!
Me! Yay!
So... first reason
you should vote for me..
And, uh..
I kinda can't believe
that I have
to remind you all this
but apparently I do.
Homecoming queens..
Hmm..
Yeah, they're... they're,
they're girls, y'all!
You can't just decide
what's right and wrong
based on the cast
of "Glee."
- Hashtag quotable.
- We love Lynette!
Second reason
you should vote for me.
My rival..
And I'm not even going
to dirty my lips
to say his name.
Don't do it.
He seems to only be
interested in one thing
and that's turning this school
into some kind of tranny bar.
All gays are going to hell.
- Yup.
- And that's not me.
It's not me saying that.
That's..
That's Leviticus.
That's right, yeah, girl.
Father son
and Holy Ghost
Who's the queen
Christ loves the most?
Lynette Lynette
Lynette
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
Thank you so much.
Thank you.
You know, I've been
waiting for this day
since I was twelve years old.
I'm sure you all have too.
That was enlightening.
And our next contestant..
Billy Bloom.
Thank you, Lynnette, for that
most gracious set-up.
Now..
My appearance tonight
might come as a shock
to many of you.
Sure, I could have worn
a real show-stopper
of an outfit
and talked smack about Lynnette
and reminded you all
how you tried to kill me
and maybe you could vote for me
to try and clear your conscience
but instead, I stand before you.
And I'm stripped
of all my usual
bells and whistles.
Just a clean-scrubbed face.
To show you that..
To show you that I'm
I'm not so different from you
despite your protestations
despite mine.
You can call me a freak.
Okay.
I am what I am.
You're all freaks too, I mean..
Look at you.
Isn't that what being
a teenager is all about?
I think that
we're all pretty worried
that we're not gonna fit in.
That if people
found out the real us
they would reject us,
they would recoil
in horror.
That they'd all hate us.
And we all carry around
some kind of secret shame.
We've each got a flag to fly.
Just some of us
are flying them
on the inside.
So, I am asking you
to look inside
that secret place
where your freak flag flies
and raise it up..
Loud..
And proud.
Look, I know I have not
been here for very long
but I am asking
for a tradition
to take place now.
A tradition of inclusion.
Of acceptance.
Of tolerance.
Love who you're gonna love.
Follow whatever path
it is that makes you
be the person that you are.
I... I've got one thing
to ask tonight
when you cast your ballot.
Vote for me.
You're voting for the freak
in all of us.
You're voting
for the freak
that stands before you
but you're voting for..
The freak in each
and every one of you.
That's all.
Yay! Billy!
And now, students
of Grant Academy
it's time to get out
your smart phones
and vote.
Well, the votes
have been tabulated
and you've all
made your feelings
abundantly clear.
The winner is Lynnette Franz!
Here she is,
ladies and gentlemen.
Your new homecoming queen
Lynnette Franz!
Thank you.
Thank you.
The crowd
who just moments ago
were on my side
now applauded wildly for her.
What are you still doing
on stage, freak?
Get lost.
Sesame, do you always
have to be such a bitch?
Yeah.
I think I do!
Billy.
She might have gotten my vote
but you got my heart.
Good job.
Thank you.
Thank you so..
I know, stop.
Thank you.
God wins!
God wins!
For me, it was
never actually
about being the queen.
It was about showing them
I was worthy.
And I did.
And what to my
wondering eyes
should appear..
Billy.
But the man who I thought
had abandoned me.
The man who came
to tonight's barbecue
even though he thought
his little boy
was gonna give
a speech in a dress.
The man that is..
Daddy?
I'm here.
I'm queer.
I'll get used to it.
- I lost.
- Are you kidding me?
That was the biggest win
I've ever seen.
Look at me.
I am so proud of you.
Thank you.
Mm.
Come on, son.
Let's go home.
Yes, sir.
You know I could have
dodged that tackle
the other night, right?
But I realized that
I found something
more important than
than pleasing my dad.
More important than football.
Me.
I never would have
discovered that
without you.
I'm so sorry I stopped
being your friend.
It's okay.
You were just being you.
Muv was just being Muv.
How about I do me
and you do you?
And maybe one day we can try
the other way around.
Deal?
Nice try.
I need your secrets
From your past
It's like
your stitches
Are pulled apart
Your information
Is high demand
And all that content
Is like
grains of sand
As it diffuses
Through those cracks
It's in the air now
There's no
turning back
And those
little victims
That no one sees
Need information
That your body bleeds
I need to know
you're thinking of me
I need to know
you're there
I need
the information now
I got to know
that you care
Give me something
that I can work with
Deliver me
from the dark
Give me something
that I can count on
Right now
it seems so far
You're complicated
And hard to read
Your information
Is all I need
But when
those stitches
Are pulled apart
All that content
Well it gets so dark
It becomes toxic
And hard to breathe
You can't escape it
And it gets extreme
I need to know
you're thinking of me
I need to know
you're there
I need
the information now
I got to know
you care
Give me something
that I can work with
Deliver me
from the dark
Give me someone
that I can count on
Right now
you seem so far
Give me something
that I can work with
Deliver me
from the dark
Give me something
that I can count on
Right now
you seem so far