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Frenemies (2012)
Hey, I'm Halley.
My Best Friend And I-- That's Her, By The Way-- The Cute Redhead-- We Created This Awesome Webazine-- Geekly Chic. Hey, I'm Avalon. We Had Tons Of Fun Writing The Articles, Doing All The Graphics, Everything... Until It Almost Turned Us From Best Friends Into Total Enemies. Frenemies. Has That Ever Happened To You And Your Best Friend? It Happened To Us, But We're Getting Ahead Of Ourselves. It Happened To This Kid At School, Too. Except His Best Friend Wasn't Even A Kid. Mom: Jake, Time For Breakfast! ( Groaning ) ( Groaning ) ( Passes Gas ) Oh, Murray! That Reeks! Oh, Man, Look At The Time. Help Me Get Dressed. I'm Thinking Of Painting The Dining Room Dusty Rose. What Do You Think? ( Belches ) ( Belches ) Gee, I'd Never Know You Two Were Best Friends. Fine, I'll Pick Another Color. Mom, Has The Mail Come Yet? I Know You're Expecting That Science Space Thingy From N.A.S.A. It's Not A Science Space Thingy. It's An Award From N.A.S.A. For Outstanding Work In Molecular Astrophysics. Poodle Pink. It's Like This Dog Can Read! He Can. Murray, As Much As I Want You To Come To School With Me, You Know Dogs Aren't Allowed. Hey, There's The Mailman! Go Recycle The Junk Mail! Go Green! I Guess The Mail's Here. ( Barks ) I Wish You Could Do That To My Parking Tickets. Alternative Energy Resources. Can Anyone Here Name Some-- Besides Jake? Wake Up, People. I'm Talking About Solar Power, Wind Power. For Your First Assignment, I Want You To Partner Up And Create Your Own Personal Energy Source. Hey, Owen, Want To Do This Project Together? Can't, Man. I'm Doing It With Jake. Forget It, Dude. Last Time We Worked Together, I Did All The Work, And You Sat On Your Butt. I Sat In Wonderment Of Your Talent. Your Brilliance Rendered Me Incapable Of Moving My Legs. Not Happening, Owen. Okay, Folks, You Have Two Weeks To Finish Your Projects. So, Pair Up And Use Your Ingenuity! Ha Ha! Wake Up, Eisenblatt! Huh! Heh. Hey, Jake. You--Are You Talking To Me? Isn't Your Name Jake? Yeah. Yeah, I Just Didn't Think You Knew That. Check It Out. Julianne's Actually Talking To Jake. Boy, It's Always So Difficult Finding The Right Person To Partner With On These Projects. I Don't Know About You, But I Just Hate Doing All The Work. That Happens To You, Too? People Who Use People Are Totally Lame. Totally. So, Um...Maybe You And I Should Team Up. Or Is That Totally Lame, Too? No! That's Totally Cool. Cool. Awesome. So, Why Don't I Come By Your House After School And We Can Get Started On Our Project Together? Dawg, She Is So Into You. Nah, It's Just Science. It's More Like Chemistry. ( Laughter ) Murray, I Have Someone I Want You To Meet. This Is Julianne. Oh. Heh! How Cute. He Wants You To Shake It. ( Groans ) Even Cuter. Heh. Here. It's Nice To Meet You. Eww. ( Cell Phone Ringing ) Oh. Hmm. Gotta Take This. Don't Go Away. What Up? Where Are You? You Ducked Out Of School So Fast. Is There A Sale Going On That We Should Know About? Heh. I'm At Jake Logan's House. She's At Jake Logan's House. There's A Sale At Jake Logan's House? No, I'm Using This Nerd To Get Myself A Nice Grade In Science. Oh. Why Didn't I Think Of That? 'Cause I'm Smarter Than You. And I Know I Need To Get Someone Even Smarter Than Me. Jake: Julianne, Check This Out. You Can Harness Energy From Cow Poop. Julianne: Fascinating! I Have To Go Look At Cow Poop. Uhh, This Better Get Me An "A". ( Growling ) ( Hisses ) Jake: Julianne, I Think I Found Something. ( Groans ) Grab A Chair. So, The Cow Poop Is Kind Of Smelly. I Was Thinking Instead We Could Make A Wind Turbine That Ignites An Electrical Spark. Murray, Come On, That's Julianne's Chair. Isn't My Dog Smart? Frighteningly-- Like Some Trained Dog They Use In The Movies. ( Groans ) Now, Scram, Einstein. ( Groans ) We Have A Project To Do. Mom: Jake? ( Whining ) Murray, Cheer Up. You Look Like You Lost Your Best Friend. Jake? Hey, Mom. What's Up? Guess What Just Came, Special Delivery? Serious? N.A.S.A. I Am So Proud Of You. Oh! What'd I Miss? I Got A Certificate From N.A.S.A. Pretty Cool, Huh? Oh. Heh. Like A Gift Certificate? How Much? Hi. I'm Julianne. It's Nice To Meet You, Julianne. What Are You Painting? Oh. Ha Ha! The Den. I Love That Shade Of Pink. Matches My Lip Gloss. Don't You Think So, Jakey? Jakey? Mom, Don't You Have A Second Coat To Paint Or Something? Right. Yes, A Second Coat. Oh, Hey, Why Is Murray In The Hall? He's Been Acting Up. I Don't Know What's Up With Him. Nothing A Breath Mint Wouldn't Cure. ( Kiss ) ( Growling ) You Want The Ball, Murray? You Want The Ball? Okay, Go Get It, Buddy! ( Barks ) That's Beyonce-- Murray's Girlfriend. Hey! Hey, No Sniffing! Be A Gentleman! How Much Longer Do We Have To Be In This Smelly Park? I Hope This Mud Doesn't Ruin My Shoes. This Is Mud, Isn't It? Julianne, Dogs Need Exercise. So, How's The Research Coming? Any Good Articles We Can Use? Oh, Tons. Espadrilles Are Back. You Want To Go Toss The Ball For Murray? Murray! Come Here, Buddy. Come On, Murray. Uhh! This Dress Is 50% Silk! Now It's 10% Slime! You Want To Play, Doggy? ( Barking ) Let's Play. That's A Toss? Hi There. Aw, Hey, Cutie. Is This Yours? What's Your Name? Murray. Murray. Yes, You're So Cute. Whoever Your Owner Is, I'm Totally Jealous. ( Laughs ) Aww. So, Jakey, I Was Thinking-- Maybe It'd Be Better For You To Finish The Project Without Me. Wait. So, You Want Me To Do All The Work? No! Heh! No, I Want To Help. It's Just That-- I'm So Embarrassed To Even Say This To You, Jakey-- But I Can't Think Straight When I'm Around You. Really? Uh-Huh. You're Just So Darn Cute. But...I Bet You Already Have A Girlfriend. Right? Your Own Little Poodle. Actually, Uh, At The Moment, I Don't Have A Poodle. I Mean Girlfriend. Well... Then Today's Your Lucky Day. ( Laughs ) Whoa, Julianne-- Check Out Murray. Whoa, Look At That. ( Laughs ) Come Here, Buddy. Come On, Murray. ( Laughs ) You Seriously Have The Coolest Dog In The World. I Know, Right? Hey, Thanks For Bringing Him Back. No Problem. I'm Savannah. I'm Jake. I've Seen You Around School. Are You, Like, A Science Whiz? Yes, He Is, And He Just Happens To Be My New Boyfriend. So, Thanks For The Dog, And Bye-Bye. Get Lost. Heh. Okay. Bye, Murray. Savannah Seems Cool. Like Tony Hawk. Only Prettier. More Like Tony Gawk, If You Ask Me. Well, I Gotta Go. Mani-Pedi Time. Gotta Look Pretty For When We "Hand" In Our Project. ( Both Laugh ) Get It? ( Groans ) Stay Out Of My Way, Doggo. Bye, Doggie. ( Sneezes ) Ohh! Uhh! ( Barks ) Mom: Jake, Time For Breakfast! Julianne, That Tickles. Stop It. You're Gonna Be Late For School! ( Passes Gas ) Ohh! Whoa. I Gotta Get Dressed. Gotta Look Good For Julianne. Well! Look At You. ( Whimpers ) Is That My Scarf? No. No, No, No. This Is A Guy's Scarf. They Make Guys' Scarves? Forget It. I Gotta Go To School. Whoa, Wait A Minute. What About Breakfast? You And Murray Always Eat Together. Mom, Julianne Is Waiting. ( Murray Barks ) ( Groans ) ( Whining ) Recycle The Junk Mail. Wait A Minute. Is That From Julianne? Murray, Drop It! Drop It! I Didn't Mean For You To Drop It In There. ( Whimpers ) Dumb Dog. Dude, You Look So Duded-Up. Totally Crackin', If I Do Say So Myself. Yeah, Still Not Doing Your Project, Guys. Come On, Man. I Just Can't Help Myself. Fashion Intervention! So, How Long Have You Been On Scarves? What's Wrong With It? Serious Fashion Faux Pas. That's French For "Lose The Scarf." Even Zac Efron Isn't Rocking It Anymore. But I Saw Him In A Magazine. Was It In Your Dentist's Office? Those Are Never Up To Date. Oh, Man. I Was Trying To Look Good For My New Girlfriend. Whoa, Back Up. Julianne's Your Girlfriend? For Reals? Yes. For Reals. Well, If You Want To Date Her, Then We Gotta Update You. Collar Down, Un-Tuck The Tuck, Lose The Scarf, Fake Earring Out-- Ow! Fluff The Hair. Voila. Oh. ( Snaps Photo ) How Cute Is That? Cute Enough To Put Online? ( Both Shriek ) Come On, Let's Go. Do You Know Those Girls? No. Me, Neither. Oh! Jakey! You Look So...Fly. As Much As I'd Love To Show You Off, Somebody Has A Project To Finish. So...Time To Fly. Heh Heh. "Jakey". It's Even Worse Than The Scarf. ( Laughs ) Oh, Yeah. ( Murray Barking ) I Never Thought I'd Value A Dog's Opinion, But, Murray, I Think This Color Looks Really Good. Mom, I'm Home! Julianne And I Are Gonna Work In My Room. Okay, Honey. Aren't You Gonna Go With Jake? No? Okay. Well, You Can Help Me Paint. ( Sighs ) Okay, Where's That Other Can Of Paint? ( Whines ) What The-- No. No Way. There Is No Way Murray Did This. This Was A Love Letter! Not A Liver Treat! I Know. I'm So Sorry. He Likes To Take Out The Junk Mail. Not That That Is Junk. Oh. Thank Goodness I Taped Up My N.A.S.A. Award. I Have Got To Get This Thing Framed. No, You Have Got To Get Rid Of That Dog. He's Just A Big, Hairy Disaster Waiting To Happen. I Think He Was Just Looking For Some Attention. Well, That Makes Two Of Us. Oh, My Skirt! Poodle Pink? Murray! Look At What He Did! You Better Send Him To The Pound Before I Pound Him! You Know What? You're Right. Not Really, But... I'm Gonna Go Yell At Him. If You Won't Get Rid Of That Mutt, I Will. This One's For You, Doggo. Hey, Murray, What You Got There? Hey, That's My-- Murray, No! No! ( Flushes ) ( Gasps ) Why Would Murray Do That? This Is The Worst Thing You've Ever Done! You're The Worst Dog! I Hate You! Get Out Of Here! Get Out! ( Whimpers ) Murray? Murray, What Are You Doing Here? Are You Lost? Here, Come Home With Me. ( Barks ) Come Here, Buddy. I've Looked All Over The House. I Don't Think That Murray's Hiding. I Think He Ran Away. Jake, I Know You're Mad At Him, But He's Still Your Best Friend. Mom, We Were Best Friends. Now We're Enemies. Frenemies. Precisely. Look, If You Don't Mind, I've Got A Lot Of Work To Do. I Need To Finish This Project. Where's Julianne? I Thought You Two Were Partners. You're Doing This Whole Project By Yourself, Aren't You? Mom, That's Just What A Guy Does For His Girlfriend. Really? You Think Murray Will Come Back? I Don't Know. I Guess It Depends On What Guys Do For Their Dogs. Jake Logan, President Of The Science Club. Found Him. What, You Think I Marked This Page 'Cause I Like Jake? Nuh-Uh. Fine, I Sort Of Have A Crush On Him. But He's Never Gonna Feel The Same Way, So Who Cares? Plus, He Already Has A Girlfriend-- Julianne. ( Whines ) ( Laughs ) What's Important Is That We Get You Home. Murray, Give That Back! Don't You Want To Get Found? Guess Not. I'm Gonna Be Late. Murray, Why Didn't You Wake... Me? ( School Bell Rings ) So, Leonard, How's My Report On Scarlet's Sweater? It's Called The Scarlet Letter. I Like Mine Better. It's Really A Thought-Provoking Book. I Argue That Hester Prynne Is Actually-- Whatevs, Leonard. You Are So The Best Boyfriend Ever. I Thought Jake Was Her Boyfriend. Is It Ready? Yes! Ha! ( Squeals ) Two Boyfriends, Plus Jake? That' Disgusting. And Slightly Impressive. ( Whimpers ) ( Barks ) Yes, You Did. No, I Didn't. Hey, Isn't That Murray? Missing Something? Where'd You Get That? It Was Taped To Your Locker. Who's Savannah? Why Does She Have Murray? He, Uh-- He Sort Of Got Loose. Look, The Truth Is, He Ran Away...From Me. But Murray's Your Best Bud. He Wouldn't Do That. I Was Spending All My Time With Julianne And Ignoring Him, So He Started Acting Up. I Feel You, Murray. Then He Tried To Flush My N.A.S.A. Award Down The Toilet. I Was Pretty Rough On Him. Dude, Murray Would Never Trash Something If He Knew It Was Important. That's What My Mom Said. Wait A Minute. Wait A Minute, That's It. That's Why I Smelled Perfume On My Award. Julianne Must've Sprayed Some On, Knowing That When Murray Smelled It, He'd Think It Was Another Love Letter From Her And Trash It. Dude, I Hate To Tell You... But Your Dog Was Framed By Your Girlfriend. Your Dog Was Dogged. I Cannot Believe She Did This To Me. And I Was Dissing You Two For Her. The Next Time I See Her Face, She'd Better Watch Out. Hey, Jakey. Hey, Julianne. As Soon As Jake Comes Back To Earth, He's So Blowing You Off. Yeah. Revenge Of The Mutt. Murray? I Love Murray. I'm Heartbroken That He Ran Away And Is Never Coming Back. Hopefully. Hopefully? You Used Me, Julianne. And I Wasn't Smart Enough To Realize It, But My Dog Did. And That's Why You Wanted To Get Rid Of Him. Come On, Guys, We're Out Of Here. After You, Jakey. I Mean Jake. ( School Bell Rings ) Jake! Me Using You? That's The Most Ridiculous Thing I've Ever Heard. You Did Finish Our Project, Though, Right? Jakey! You Are The Best Boyfriend Ever! Yeah, The Best Out Of Three. Heh. Norm. Leonard. I Could Totally Explain This Whole Thing. Well... I Can't When You're Staring At Me Like I Did Something Wrong. Duh. You Think You're So Clever, Don't You-- Punking Me Like That? Yeah, Actually, I Thought I Did A Pretty Good Job. Well, This Little Stunt Of Yours May Have Cost Me Some As, But If You Think It's Gonna Make You Any More Popular, Wrong! You Will Always Be Weird. Well, I Think Savannah's Awesome. Yeah, Like He Said. Seriously? Yeah. Julianne... This Science Project Is Done. So Are We. We're Done... Just As Soon As You Hand Me That Project... Partner. Jake, No! She Doesn't Deserve It. I'm Waiting...Jakey. You Think I Care About This? I Can Always Get Another "A". And Maybe One Day I'll Get Another Girlfriend, But... After The Way I Treated Murray, I May Never Get My Best Friend Back. And He's Worth More Than Anything. ( Scoffs ) Whatevs. ( Barks ) Aah! Murray! The Project! Whoa! Ha Ha! Oh, No, He's Gonna-- ( Laughter ) Ooh! Bad Dog! ( Growling ) Did I Say, "Bad Dog"? I Meant, "Good Doggy!" ( Barks ) Good--Good Doggy. Yeah. ( Barks ) Aah! ( Barks ) Aah! Aah! ( Barks ) Murray. Man, Am I Glad To See You. And I Promise, If You Come Home With Me, It's Just You And Me, Buddy-- No Girls... Ever Again. So...Guess I'll Just Be Going. Maybe I'll Catch You Guys At The Dog Park. I'll Miss You, Murray. Come Visit Me, Okay? Definitely. ( Growling ) You Hate The Scarf, Too, Huh? ( Laughs ) Halley: I'm So Glad Jake Didn't Let Julianne Come Between Him And His Pooch. Avalon: What Do They Say? A Dog's A Boy's Best Friend? Halley And I Put Jake's Story On Our Webazine Geekly Chic Because It Almost Turned Us Into Frenemies Once. I Was At Home, Finishing Up An Email, When It All Started. Halley Brandon, You Are An Awesome Writer. Too Bad The Rest Of The World Hasn't Gotten The Memo. ( Sighs ) ( Dialing ) Hello? It's Finished. It's Perfect. And It's Sent. Aah! Aah! I'm So Excited. I Am So Excited. When Burns Publications Opens That Link To Our Webazine Geekly Chic, They Are So Going To Want To Be In Business With Us. I Know. I Mean, Between Your Fashion Tips And My Articles, How Could They Not? Speaking Of Fashion Tips, Shade Up, Girl. Okay, So, Am I Working This Referee Look? What Do You Think? Touchdown! Thank You. Oh, And Score With That Belt, Too. Kendall's? Yep. Like He Ever Wears It. My Brother's Pants Fall Off His Butt So Low, I'm Forced To Look At His Boxer Shorts With Smiley Faces On Them. How Is That Possibly Attractive? It's Not. Although... It Does Make It Way Easier For You To Give Him A Wedgie. ( Laughs ) ( Call Waiting Beeps ) Okay, We Gotta Go. We're Gonna Be Late. Shade Down! Were You And Avalon Just Talking About Me? Yeah, We Were Just Discussing How You Seriously Rock Those Pants. Right. What Do You Want? Could You Drive Us To School? No. Hey, Is That My Belt? I'll Pay For Belt Rental. Rent-A-Belt. I Like It. But I'm Not Waiting. Wait! Wait! I'm In Really, Really Tall Heels! Come On! I'm Trying! I'm In Tall Heels! Female G.P.S. Voice: Turn Right On Addison. Baby, Could You Repeat That Last Direction For Me...Slowly? Turn Right On Addison. Uh, Kendall, Why Do You Need A G.P.S. System? You're A Senior. You Know How To Get To School. He's In Love With Her Voice. I'm Not In Love With Her Voice. "You're Not My Type, Kendall. "I Hate Smiley-Face Underwear. Recalculating. Recalculating." ( Both Laugh ) You Guys Can Laugh All You Want. But This G.P.S. Can Be Programmed To Speak In 12 Different Languages. It Can Even Give Directions In Urdu. "Urdu? I Hardly Know You." ( Both Laugh ) So, Anything From Burns Publications Yet? Not Yet, But We Have Been Talking For, Like, Three Seconds, So I'll Check Again. Okay. Well, If It Isn't Tweedle-Geek And Tweedle-Chic. Well, Uh, Hello, Walker. Wait, What's Today-- Bring-Your-Lame-Posse- To-Work Day? Funny. Here You Go. Um, Wait. What Is This? We Paid For An Ad For Geekly Chic In The School Paper. Yes, And, As Senior Editor Of That School Paper, I Have A Standard Of Quality To Uphold. But--But, Walker, Kids Need To Know About Our Website. Have You Even Read It? It's Full Of Stimulating And Superbly Written Articles. Yeah, Not To Mention The Latest Fashion Trends, Like Your Sweater. Oh, Wait. We Didn't Have An Issue In 1982. Look, We Even Have Business Cards. Yeah. Pretty Professional, Huh? You Know What? You Could Actually Put One Of These Cards On Every Locker In The Whole School. It Doesn't Matter, Because Nobody Will Care Unless I Tell Them To. I'm Sorry, I Didn't Hear What You Said. Could You Repeat That? Clean Out Your Pretty Little Ears. Geeklychic.Com Is For Losers. ( Snaps Photo ) ( Dialing ) ( Phones Ringing ) ( Overlapping Chatter ) Oh, By The Way, Walker, Thanks For The Free Advertising. What Are You Talking About? We Are Out Of Here. Good-Bye. Thank You. ( Laughs ) That Was Awesome, Av. You Totally Put That Jerk And His Wannabe Jerks In Their Places. Why, Thank You. But, Halley, You'll Have To Learn How To Stand Up To People Like That. Uh, Heh-- No, Thank You. You Know I Get Flushed Around People, So, If You Don't Mind, I'll Stick To The Writing, And You Can Do The Talking. That's What Makes Us A Good Team. All Righty. Hey, I Got Something Really Cool To Show You. Come On. So, Every Time Someone Logs On To Geeklychic.Com, A Red Dot Will Pop Up. You See Those Red Dots In New Jersey? That's You, Me... And My Mom. She Spends A Lot Of Time Online. ( Beep ) Wait... There's Another Dot Over There In New York City. Who Could That Be? Well, I'm Not Really Sure, But They're Definitely Logged On. ( Cell Phone Ringing ) It's A Private Number. Maybe It's...The Dot. Oh, Stop That. Just Answer It. Hello? Yes, This Is Halley Brandon. You're Calling From Burns Publications? Are You Serious? No Way. Look, Kendall, You're Gonna Have To Do A Lot Better If You're Gonna Get Back At Me For Making Fun Of Your Little G.P.S. Girl. Yes, I'll "Hold" For Miss Cherie St. Claire. You Are Really Pushing This, Aren't You, Kendall? ( Gasps ) Hello? Yes. Yes, Yes, It Is. Yes, Yes! Okay, Tomorrow. All Right. Um, Okay, Thank You, Miss St. Claire. All Right, Thank You, Bye. Oh, My Gosh. That Was Really Cherie St. Claire, The Head Of Burns Publications In Manhattan? Yes, It Was. And Tomorrow, We Have A Huge Meeting With That Red Dot! ( Both Shriek ) Shh! Sorry. Sorry. All Right, We Have So Little Time And So Much To Prepare. So, Which One Of These New Fashion Looks Says, "I Have A Meeting With One Of The Most Powerful Women In The Publishing World"? Give Me Them Bright Lights, Long Nights Party Till The Sun Is Rising High-Rise, Overtime Working Till The Moon Is Shining Hot Guys, Fly Girls Never Thought I'd Say I Feel On Top Of The World I Feel On Top Of The World, Hey Glamour, Glitter And Gold Nothing Is Stopping You Nothing Is Stopping Me In This Frenzy, Out Of Control I'm-A Stay In Pursuit Do What I Gotta Do Give Me Them Bright Lights, Long Nights... ( Cell Phone Ringing ) ( Turns Volume Down ) Hello? Shade Up, Girl. Oh, Okay. Is This Professional Or What? Yeah, Professionally Scottish. What? I Don't Think This Says Scottish. I Think It Says Stylish, In A Plaid-Ish, Wool-Ish, Kilt-Ish Sort Of Way. ( Sighs ) Whatever-Ish. Shade Down, Girl. We're Going To New York City! ( Both Shout ) Party Till The Sun Is Rising High-Rise, Overtime Working Till The Moon Is Shining Hot Guys, Fly Girls Never Thought I'd Say I Feel On Top Of The World... ( Both Shout ) Really? The Hat, Too? It Was Calling Me, Okay? "Wear Me. Wear Me." Are You Sure It Wasn't Calling You, "Trash Me, Burn Me"? Mm-Hmm. Oh, Thank You. Thank You. ( Both Shriek ) ( Sobbing ) Sit. I Meant On The Couch. Right. Okay. We Knew That. You Two Are A Lot Younger Than I Thought You'd Be. Is That A Problem? 'Cause We're Very Mature For Our Age. Yes, People Think We Are, Like, 30. I Want Young. And That's When We Tell Them, "Hello, People! We're Only 14" Right, Av? Totally. Well, Burns Publications Has Been Looking For A Fresh Voice, A Young Voice, A Unique Voice. And I Think Geekly Chic Is That Voice. It Is? I Mean, Uh, Of Course It Is. Wait, You Really Liked Our Webazine? Loved It. Which Is Why I Want To Use It To Launch Our Brand-New Website, Our New Magazine, And Our New Fabulous Clothing Line. It'll Be A Media Empire. Are You Kidding? Do I Look Like A Person With A Sense Of Humor? No, Not Really. ( Gasps ) Geekly Chic. Don't Smudge It. Oh. Av, There Will Be Red Dots Everywhere. Don't They Sell Creams For That? Miss St. Claire, You Have No Idea How Long Halley And I Have Been Dreaming About This Day. Wait A Minute. "Halley And I"? I Called This Meeting With Halley Brandon, The Editor-In-Chief. What Are You? Her Assistant? Heh. If I Were Her Assistant, Do You Think I Would Let Her Out Of The House Wearing That Skirt With That Hat? Sorry. Um...No. I Am Avalon Greene, Co-Editor-In-Chief. Yes, We're A Team. You're A Team? That's Adorable. I Hate It. What? Why? Because If I Buy Your Webazine, On Staffing It With My Own Underpaid Web Designers. However, I Want One Of You On Board As Editor So Geekly Chic Maintains That Fresh Voice Of Zit-Faced Kids Everywhere. Sort Of Breaks Up Your Little Team, Doesn't It? So...Flip A Coin, Girls. Who Shall It Be? Wait, You're Asking Us To Choose Which One Of Us Gets To Live Our Dream? ( Groans ) Sounds So Terribly Sad When You Put It That Way. Don't Put It That Way. But--But We're Best Friends. We Worked Really Hard On This. How Could We Compete With Each Other For A Job? Hmm. I Understand. I Once Had A Best Friend Myself. We Were So Close. In Fact, I Got Her Her First Job. Really? As What? My Maid. But She Wasn't Very Good, So I Fired Her. But Back To You Two. I Have An Idea. To Make This Fair, I'll Give Both Of You One Week To Come Up With A Cover Story Of Our Very First Issue Of Geekly Chic. Whoever Does The Best Job Gets To Be My Senior Editor-In-Chief. But--But We Worked Really Hard. And This Is Kind Of Like A Joint Effort. This Is Not Fair. It's Either One Of You... Or None Of You. You Can Pack Up Your Bagpipes And Go Now. Go. Oh, Sorry. Sorry. Okay. Bye. Okay. This Is The Worst Day. This Is The Worst Skirt. And Hat. Ohh! So...Have You Found Anything Interesting Yet To Write About? Not Really. You? No. Can You Believe This Is All I Can Afford For Breakfast? Since When Did Pancakes Go Up $1.50? I Need To Collect My Belt Rent. Not Now, Kendall. I'm Busy. How About You, Avalon? I'm Not Really Busy. I Just Don't Really Care. I Found It. A Sock To Stuff In His Mouth? No, Better. You Know That Indie Singer Jean-Frank? He's Coming To America For His First Concert Outside Of France. Um, Excuse Me. How Is This More Important Than Me Getting My Pancakes? Because Jean-Frank Has An Amazing Sound. We've Been Following Him Online For Months, And Once He Comes Here And Performs Live, He's Gonna Blow Up. Exactly. That's Why He Needs To Be Interviewed Now Before He's So Hot That Everybody Wants Him. This Would Make An Awesome Cover Story For Geekly Chic. Um, That's My Story. Your Story? But We Thought Of It At The Same Time. That Editor Job Is Mine. No, It's Not. It's Mine. Uh, Hate To Burst Both Your Bubbles, But It Looks Like Neither Of You Is Gonna Get To Interview Him. What?! What?! Says Here Jean-Frank's Concert's Sold Out. So, Unless You Two Can Find Tickets... Man, Did It Just Get Suffocatingly Hot In Here. I'm Getting Into That Concert. Really? And Then What? Let's See You Get An Interview With Him. You Get All Flustered Around People, Remember? I'm The Only One Who Can Talk To Him. Well, You Might Be Able To Talk The Talk, But Let's See You Write The Right... Words. Ahem. I'm Not Losing Out To You. Took The Words Right Out Of My Mouth. ( Busy Signal ) Here. You Need This More Than I Do. Ah, Thank You. Oh, Very Nice, Very Nice. Shh. I'm Calling The Radio Station Z.V.F.M. If I'm The 100th Caller, I Get A Free Ticket To The Jean-Frank Concert. Okay. Hello! Hi. Um, I Was Calling About The-- Man: You're The 101st Caller. What? I'm Number 101? But--But I Need That Ticket! Sorry, Miss, Try Again Next Time. Okay. Okay, Fine. Yeah. And F.Y.I.-- Your Music Stinks. Smooth. Laying On The Charm To Get Your Ticket. I Like It. Look, Kendall, The Concert Is Friday. What Am I Going To Do? I Wonder If Avalon's Doing Any Better. ( School Bell Rings ) Hey, Team! Expert Fashion Advice In Exchange For A Jean-Frank Ticket? ( Laughing ) Oh, Hi There. I'm Doing A Free Fashion Makeover Today In Exchange For A Jean-Frank Ticket. See, You May Not Know Him Yet, But He Is The Hottest New French Singer, And You Could Look Just Like Him. But Not In Those Pants! Hey There. You Look Like The Type Who'd Know What's Hot On The Indie Scene. So, Today I Am Doing Free Fashion Makeovers In Exchange For A Jean-Frank Ticket. You're Outfit Is Cool, But... Zippers And Ripped Black Tights Are... So Edward Scissorhands. You Really Want To Freak Out Your Friends? Wear Hooped Earrings With Stripes. What? But--But That Was Great Advice! Fine! And Your Mother Bought You That Outfit! You're Not Fooling Anyone! Well, Well, Well. If It Isn't Miss Avalon. So, Where's Your Little Sidekick? I Hear You Kicked Her To The Side. How Do You Know? Well, As A Man Of The World, I Make It My Business To Know Everything. And I Believe You Need A Ticket To See Some French Singer Tomorrow Night? Yeah. Jean-Frank. But His Concert Is All Sold Out. Is It? Unless You Possibly Have One. ( Laughs ) Now, That's Amusing. So, I Take It The Answer's No. Um, I May Be Persuaded To Look Further Into The Matter. Whoa. Dude, What's With The Eyebrow Dance? Have You Been Torturing Me Since School Started Because You Actually Like Me? ( Snorts ) That Is Amusing. Well, Thanks Anyway, Walker. Well, Actually, Um, You Might Be Interested To Know That I Have A Cousin In France Whose Roommate Happens To Be The Nephew Of The Guy Whose Daughter Is Engaged To The Dry Cleaner Who Fluffs And Folds All Of Jean-Frank's Clothes. Walker, That-- That's Amazing, I Think! Well, Why Don't You Just Take Out Your Phone And We'll Give Him A Call? Okay. On Your Minutes, Of Course. Okay. ( School Bell Rings ) Oh, Hey. Halley, I Just Left A Note In Your Locker. But That's Okay, 'Cause It's So Well-Written, I Memorized It. "Dear Halley, I Have A Ticket "To The Jean-Frank Concert, And You Don't. Doesn't Your Life Stink? Love, Avalon." Wait, How Did You Get That Ticket? I, Uh...Called Him. A Little Yellow-Sweatered Birdie--Walker-- Gave Me His Phone Number In Paris, And Now Jean-Frank Is Giving Me An Interview Right After The Concert. Um, Mrs. Cross, I Need To Call My Mom. She Just Had A Baby-- Three Of Them. Triplets. There Might Be One More, So I'm Gonna Call Her. Okay. ( Feedback ) ( Shouting In French ) ( Cell Phone Ringing ) Oui? ( French Accent ) Hello! Is This Jean-Frank? ( Speaking French ) Why Did I Take Spanish? ( Sighs ) This Is Avalon Greene's-- How You Say-- Assistant. She Would Like To Have Me Give You A Pre-Interview Before Her Interview. ( Speaking French ) Yeah. Fantastique! Um, So, Her Ticket Will Need To Be Put Under My Name-- Halley Brandon. Bon. Mademoiselle? Si? I Mean... Oui? Speaking English With A French Accent Is Still Speaking English. Oops. I Mean... Oo-Oo-Oops. Aha. ( Vacuum Whirring ) ( Speaking French ) Ahem. Oh, No, You Di-In't. Oh, Yes, I Di-Id. Whoa! ( Cymbal Crashes ) ( Cell Phone Ringing ) Hey. Shade Up, Girl. Now. You Sabotaged My Interview And Took My Ticket? What? He Told You? Wait, Does Walker Have A Thing For You? My Gosh, That's Why He's Always In Your Face. Right? Wait, Stop-- I'm Still Mad. You're Not Getting That Interview. That Cover Story Is Mine. It's Mine! I Can't Believe We Were Ever B.F.F.'S! Best Friends For-Never! Good One. Write Much? Talk Much! For Crying Out Loud, Just Pull The Shade Down! ( Sighs ) Excited To Go To The Concert? Yeah, I Guess. Well, I Already Programmed J-Lo, So She's All Set To Get Us There On Time. Stop With The Eyeballs. A Lot Of Guys Name Their G.P.S.'S After Hot Singers. If I Gotta Get Directions From A Woman, It's Gonna Be From J-Lo. ( Speaking Foreign Language ) ...U-Turn... Uh...What-- What The Heck Was That? Why Can't I Understand A Word She's Saying? If I Didn't Know Any Better, I'd Say She's Speaking In Urdu. You Programmed Her To Speak English! I've Got To Get To This Concert! All The Settings Are In Urdu, Too! This Is Totally Wack! How Did This Happen? Avalon. ( Overlapping Chatter ) Excuse Me. Sorry. Sorry, Pardon Me. Excuse Me. Ooh, Cute Shoes. Excuse Me. Hi, Um, I Have A Ticket Waiting For Me. My Name Is, Uh... Halley Brandon. And I'm Doing A Pre-Concert Interview With Jean-Frank. Could You Tell Me Where His Dressing Room Is? Aah! You Poked Me In The Eye. Hey, Look-- The Jersey Shore. Okay, Hey, Situation-- Focus. Help Me Read This Thing. A Map? Who Uses Maps Anymore? I Don't Know. People Whose G.P.S.'S Are Lame. She Didn't Mean That. What Am I Looking At? ( Both Shouting At Once ) Jean-Frank? Jean-Frank? Jean-Frank! ( Shouting In French ) Hi. I'm Avalon Greene. I'm Here To Do The Interview With You. Where's Halley Brandon-- The One Who Speaks The French-English? Uh, She--She Couldn't Make It Here Today Because She-- She Has The Flu. The--The G.P.S. Flu. It Makes You Lose All Sense Of Direction. It's Very Contagious. You Don't Want To Be Near Her. Heh Heh. Okay, Right Here. Great. Wait! Who's Gonna Help Me Fold This Thing? Ask J-Lo! Okay! What? Man: The Concert's Sold Out. You've Got To Be Kidding Me. Get Your Tickets In Advance. Come On, Guys, Move Along. This Way. This'll Work. So, Jean, Tell Me About Your Music. Do You Know Anything About Music, Huh? Uh, Not Really. But I Know About Clothes. So, Are These Your Favorite Jeans That You've Totally Worn To Death, Or Did You Just... Buy Them Pre-Ripped? The Truth, Jean-Frank. They're Pre-Ripped. And, Uh, I Have Them Dry Cleaned. And You Call Yourself A Rock Star. Don't Answer Another Word! Whoa! Ohh! Oh! My First Crazy American Fan! I've Made It! Halley, What Are You Doing Here? Says Who? Smile. No, Don't Smile For Her! She's Contagious! What?! I Got Here First. Well, I Have Better Questions To Ask Him. So, Jean-Frank-- Ahem-- Do You Ha-- Your Style--Uh-- Your--Your-- You Know-- The G.P.S. Flu-- It Makes Her Talk Like That? No, That's Totally Normal. Give Me That. Give Me Back My Questions. Why? I'm Asking Them. So, Jean-Frank, Your Style Of Music Has Been Compared To Traditional African Tribal Poly-- What Does This Even Say? Polyrhythms. It's A Drumbeat Found Mostly In West African Mu-- Wait, Why Am I Telling You, Question-Stealer? Ticket-Stealer! Give Me Back My Questions. Why? I'm The Only One Who Can Talk. Uh, In Urdu! And You'd Better Reprogram J-Lo, Or Else-- What, She's Gonna Vote Me Off Of Idol? ( American Accent ) Hey! Hey! Stop It! You Two Are Giving Me A Headache? Uh, Wait-- What Happened To Your French Accent? Oops. I Mean... Oo-Oops! Yeah, That Didn't Even Work For Me. Wait, You're Not Even French? You've Been Lying To Your Fans This Entire Time? Why Would You Do That, Jean-Frank? It's Really Johnny Frankewski. I Couldn't Get Anyone To Listen To My Music Here, So I Tried Paris. That's When I Decided... ( French Accent ) ...To Do The French Thing, You Know. Just To Look Cool Back Home. Nuh-Uh. Kids Don't Want Some Poser. Fake Is Out-- Unless It's Fur. Look, Your Music Is Already Cool, And Staying True To Yourself Is What'll Inspire Your Fans... Johnny. Heh. Well, You Know... I Always Wanted To Go Acoustic, And-- You Girls Are Right. You Know What? This Scam Is Over. And Johnny Frankewski Is Back! Yeah! Wow. We Totally Unplugged Him. I Know, But This Is Going To Make An Awesome Story! I Know! Ha Ha! But... Whose Story Is It? Hmm. Hmm. Hmm. This Article On Jean-Frank Is... Fabulous. Yes! I Love The Pre-Ripped Jeans. Very Inside. And Then Finding Out That He's Not Even French? That's So Inside, It's Outside. Love It. Gonna Be Hard To Top This Story. Okay. Where's The Other Article? There's Only One. I Told You To Write Two. Best One Gets The Job, Remember? Yeah, But... We Couldn't Do It, So... You're Just Gonna Have To Choose One Of Us, And The Other One Goes Home. Ah. I Feel Like Heidi Klum. You're Either In Or You're Out. So, I Choose... Neither Of You. Auf Wiedersehen. What?! What?! I Thought I Was Dealing With Professionals. But Apparently I'm Dealing With Two Little Girls, Best Friends, Who Can't Do Anything Without Each Other. You Can Both Leave...Now. And We Don't Validate Parking. Oh, Wait, You're Too Young To Drive. Go. Wait A Minute! What's Wrong With Wanting To Share Something With Your Best Friend? You May Not Care, But I'm Proud To Be Friends With Avalon. Geekly Chic Is Our Baby, And If You Don't Want To Work With Us On Our Terms, Then These Two "Little Girls" Are Gonna Go Find Ourselves A Bigger And Better Playground. Heh. Meaning? I Am Not Sure, But It Sounded Really Good, So We're Going Out On That. Whoo! Let's Go. Woman: Yes, Miss St. Claire? I Feel Sweat Coming On. Bring Me Some Deodorant. You Know, Halley, I Am Really Proud Of You Today. So Much For Getting Flustered Around People. Thanks, Av. Maybe You Should Do The Talking From Now On. Well, Well, Well, Look Who We Have Here. Bad News Certainly Travels Fast. Okay, Look, Walker, If You've Come Here To Gloat-- I Was Actually Very Impressed When I Heard How You Two Stood Up To That Big Corporation. In Fact, I Was So Impressed, I Made A Phone Call On Your Behalf. It Seems That I Have A Cousin In Memphis Whose Sister Happens To Be The Hairstylist For The Guy Who Drives The Limo-- Walker, Get To The Point. Teens Now Wants To Do A Huge Story On Geekly Chic And The Two Best Friends Behind It. Aaah! Aaah! Okay, We've Gotta Go Put This On The Website Right Now. Okay. Okay. Walker... Thank You. What You Did For Us Was... Really Amazing And Sweet. I Could Just-- Hug Me? Uh, Well-- Well, Um... See, I Was Gonna Say, "Shake Your Hand," But, Uh... Fine! Ahh. Okay, Show's Over. See Ya. Huh. Well, That Wasn't Exactly The Hug I Was Hoping For. Aww. Aww. High-Schoolers Halley Brandon And Avalon Greene Had A Chance At Fame And Fortune When Media Giant Burns Publications Offered To Buy Their Webazine Geekly Chic. But The B.F.F.'S Turned It Down To Stay True To Their Own Indie Vision. You Go, Girls. ( Both Shouting ) ...An Exclusive Story On French Singing Sensation Jean-Frank, Written By Both Halley And Avalon. Both Girls Will Continue On As Chief Editors, And They'd Love To Hear From You, So Keep Posting Those Comments. This Is Lucy Delgoosy From Teens Now. Avalon, Look. There's Red Dots Everywhere! Geekly Chic Has Gone Global. Aaaah! Aaaah! ( Both Shouting ) Yes! Girls... Stop Jumping On That Bed. Huh? What? Yep, Geekly Chic Blew Up. They Made This Movie About It, Right? And Remember That Girl Savannah-- The Skater Chick With The Crush On Jake? She Almost Got Frenemied By A Girl She Didn't Even Know Existed. ( Lyrics Indistinct ) Savannah, Come On In. Breakfast. Hey, Guys. Take It Easy. Hey, Gimme! That's Mine. Some More, Dad. Some More Juice. Hey, You Little Food Monsters, Leave Me Some! ( Horn Honks ) Guys, School Bus! Let's Roll! Ryan, Here You Go. Here You Go. Got Enough? Okay, Go Get To The Bus. Bye, Dad. Bye! Georgie-- Sorry, Sweetie. You Snooze, You Lose. I Saved This. Oh, Thanks, George. For Me. Brat. Love You. I Swear, Living Here Is Like Living In Some Frat House. Okay, Well, How About This? How About I Give You Some Cash To Buy Some Breakfast At School? And After School, You Go To The Mall And Buy Yourself... Something That Is Pretty... And Your Brothers Won't Eat. Awesome. 'Cause I Saw The Prettiest Sneakers The Other Day, And Now I Can Get Them. Great. Thanks, Pops. Okay. ( Sighs ) Roger, You Need A Maid. And That Would Be Me. Okay, Murray, You Have Peed Nine Times Already. There's No More Trees. Hey, Savannah. Jake. Okay, Time To Go Home, Buddy. Ohh! Where'd She Go? That's Weird. ( Sighs ) Oh, Hey, Murray. I'm Okay, I'm Okay. I Just Get A Little Nervous Around Jake. Don't Tell Him, Okay? ( Barks ) Hey, Doggy! ( Groans ) ( British Accent ) I Wish I Could Have A Dog, Pemberly. Well, If You Could Find One That Didn't Bark, Didn't Shed, Didn't Drool, Didn't Eat, And Didn't Poop, Then I'm Certain Your Parents Would Be Very Open To The Idea. So, That's A Big No. That Would Be Correct. Especially In Regards To The Poop Part. ( School Bell Rings ) Oh, Here. Let Me Get That For You. Oh. Hey, Jake. Uh, You Don't Have To Do That For Me. I'm Not Helpless. See? Wow. Nice Guns. Bigger Than Mine. No, They're Not. Well, Maybe A Little. I've Gotta Get To Class. You Had To Show Him Your Guns. Emma, Darling, How Was School? It Was Fine. Um, I Did All My Homework, So Is It Okay If I Go To The Mall? I Need Some Shoes. Of Course. A Young Lady Could Always Use A New Pair Of Shoes. And What About A New Dog? A Dog? What Dog? Pemberly? No. Father, There's No Dog. I Just-- Thank Heavens! For A Moment There, We Thought You Were Asking If You Could Have...A Pet. No One Likes A Smug Butler. Ooh, Come On, Halley. Let's Go Check Out The Espadrilles. Avalon, You Hate Espadrilles. See, Now, I Did, But Then I Bought This Fabulous Organic Spray-On Tan, And Summer Legs And Espadrilles Are Off The Hook. Wait, Look Who's Here. Savannah O'neal. Wrong. That's Emma Reynolds. She Goes To Liggett Academy. Hence The Bland But Uber-Expensive Uniform. Wait, Are You Sure That's Not Savannah, The One Who Goes To Our School? No, That's Savannah. Whoa, That's A Mind-Blow. Ooh! Espadrilles! Do These Come In 8? Do These Come In 8? Wow. You Look Just Like Me. No, You Look Just Like Me. Miss Emma, It's Getting Rather Late. Perhaps I Should Have Jacob Bring The Car Around. I--I Took The Bus. Oh, Dear Me. I Thought You Were-- Me? I'm So Sorry For The Misunderstanding, Miss. Miss? Man, Your Grandfather Is So Polite. Mine Picks His Teeth With A Credit Card. Pemberly's My Butler. Serious? Quite. I Love A Good Misunderstanding, But This Is Just Getting Ridiculous. All Right. Savannah, Meet Emma Reynolds-- Debutante Ball Queen Who Carpools In A Limo. And, Emma, Meet Savannah O'neal-- Artsy Jock Girl Who Rides A Mean Skateboard. You Two Are Like Twins... From Different Planets. Hey, Are You Thinking What I'm Thinking? Free Mall Massage? No, This Could Be An Awesome Story For Geekly Chic. Smile. ( Snaps Photo ) And Then A Free Mall Massage. ( Both Shriek ) ( Chattering ) Do You Know Those Girls? I've Never Seen Them Before In My Life. Me, Neither. ( Both Laugh ) My Mum Would Kill Me If She Saw Me Eating Mall Food. And I'm Not Even Using A Napkin. I Never Do. So, You Have Three Little Brothers And A Dog. How Great Is That? Not If You're Hungry. And Murray's Not Technically Mine. He Belongs To This Guy Jake, Who's Crazy Cute And I Have A Major Crush On, But I'd Die If He Ever Found Out. Savannah, Your Life Sounds Totally Insane And Totally Awesome. Me? Emma, You're The One Cruising Around In Limos All Day And Mall-Hopping With Frederick. Pemberly, And It's Not As Easy As It Sounds. Please. If I Could Have Your Life For One Week, I'd Be The Happiest Girl In The World. If I Could Your Life For One Week, I'd Be The Happiest Girl In The World. Okay, Everybody's Thinking It, So We're Just Gonna Go Ahead And Say It-- It's Time For The Old Switcheroo. What Are We Switcheroo-Ing? Duh. Your Lives. You Two Look Exactly The Same. Yeah, So Just Trade Up For One Week, And It'll Be Totally Awesome. Or A Disaster. Either Way, It's Going On Geeklychic.Com. This Is Just Too Good Not To Blog. Wait, You're Saying For One Week, I'm Going To Be Her? And I'm Gonna Be Her? I Love It! I Get To Have Three Brothers, A Dog, And No School Uniform For A Week! And I Get To Have A Huge House And All The Food I Can Eat And-- And Him! ( Slurps ) ( Laughing ) Pemberly, Be Right Back. We're Just Going To The Washroom. You Go, Girls. ( Both Laugh ) Shall We? I Can't Believe We're Doing This. I Know, But It's Such A Brilliant Idea. Uh, You Okay Riding That Home? I'll Be Fine. Good Luck. Oh, Did I Mention There's Five People Living In My House, And One Bathroom? No. Home, James! It's Pemberly! ( Sighs ) How Hard Can This Be? It's Just A Skateboard. See? Easy As--Aah! Man, I Am Living The Dream! Eww, And I Have Got To Shave My Legs. I Always Open The Door For You, Miss Emma. ( British Accent ) Of Course You Do. 'Cause I Always Let Guys Open Doors For Me. Indeed? Wow. I Am Loaded! Oh...With Books. Can You Take These For Me, Pemberly? Now, Don't Forget, Miss Emma-- You Have A Dress-Fitting Before Supper. A Dress? I Mean-- A Dress! Whoo-Hoo! Off To My Fitting. How Fitting That I'm Off To My Fitting. What Exactly Am I Being Fitted For Again? Why, Your Birthday Ball. I'm Going To A Ball? Who Am I--Cinderella? I Guess I Am Cinderella. What Are You Standing There For? Waiting For You To Open The Door. ( Sighs ) I'm Gonna Get You! Missed Me! ( Imitating Gunfire ) ( American Accent ) Yo, Yo, Yo! It's Me--Savannah-- Your "Sista". What Up, Dawgs? Just Kidding! Ha! Mind If I Join You Guys? Get Her! Get Her! ( Shouting ) ( All Shouting ) ( Oven Beeping ) Hey, Dad. Hello, Father. Did You Just Call Me "Father"? Uh, I-- Just Kidding...Dad. Whatever Happened To "Pops"? Here, Mind Putting The Napkins Out? Yeah, I Know It's Kind Of Formal, But-- Uh, Exactly What I Was Thinking. You Know, I Think I'm Just Going To Go Freshen Up First... Pops. You're Gonna What? Oh, I'm Sorry. I Thought This Was My Room. It Is. Sorry I'm Late! I Was Trying On Ball Gown Number 23, And Time Just Got Away From Me. Um, Hope You Haven't Started. I'm Starving. Emma, We'd Never Start Eating Without You. Really? Cool. I Mean, That's A Lovely Tradition. It's Just A Little Game We Play. Mmm, This Smells Divine. And Tastes Even Diviner. Ahem. What Is This? Escargot. Snails? Bon Appetit. ( Swallows ) Chow Down, Gang. All Right, I'm Starving! Mmm! That Looks Good, Dad. Uh, Excuse Me. Hey, Give Me That! Sorry. I Want The Leg! Save Some For Pops. Excuse Me? I Want More! Pardon Me. Uh... Mmm, This Is Good, Dad. Mm-Hmm. So, Emma, Dear, Your Mother And I Have Arranged For Some Wonderful Music For Your Birthday Ball... At The Country Club. You Guys Got A Cool D.J.? A D-Who? Forget It. Who Did You Get? Martina Molinara-- The Famous Italian Opera Singer. You Know, As Incredibly Entertaining As That Sounds, Wouldn't It Be Easier Just To Chill Out With Some Friends And Get A Taco Truck? What's A Taco? ( Whistle Blows ) Wake Up! It's Time For Your Fencing Lesson. En Garde! Aah! ( Toilet Flushes ) Just Warning You-- You May Want To Open The Window. I Call First! En Garde! Whoa! She's Crazy. Touche. ( Sighs ) That Is Nice Music To Nap By. No Napping. It's Time For The Ballet Lesson. ( Sighs ) Up, Up, Up. And Down, Down, Down. Ah! Come On. ( Thud ) Don't Let Her Get It! Quick, Pass It! ( Cell Phone Rings ) Hello? I Want My Life Back. Me, Too. I Had No Idea Being Rich Could Be So Exhausting. Did I Say I Wanted A Big Family? I Take It Back. I Love Being An Only Child. Let's Switch Back Tomorrow, Okay? Pemberly: Ahem. Excuse Me, Miss Emma. I've Come To Remind You That You Have A-- Please Don't Say Another Lesson. I Can't Feel My Legs. No. You Have A Date With Lance. He's Waiting Outside. Lance? Who's Lance? Pemberly, Can I Tell You A Little Secret? ( American Accent ) I'm Not Really Emma. I'm Savannah. ( Gasps ) No. I'm Shocked. You Won't Tell? Please. You Have No Idea The Secrets I Keep Around Here. That's Why My Christmas Bonus Is So High. Lance Is Your Boyfriend. Ahem. Lance Is Waiting... Miss Emma. Hey, Emma. You're Lance? Who Knew I Had Such A Hottie Boyfriend? I Mean...I Knew. I Just Have To Keep Reminding Myself. Well, We Do Make A Magnificent Couple. Heh. So, Ready To Go Down To The Field? The Softball Field? Ha Ha! The Polo Field. Oh, Guess What? I Named One Of My Ponies Emma...After You. Uh, Aren't You A Little Old To Have A Pony? It's A Polo Pony. It's A Horse. Oh. Oh, Of-- Of Course It's A Horse. I Knew That. Just Horsing Around! Shall We Go, My Lady? Hi, I'd Like To Make An Appointment For A Manicure. Tomorrow? Perfect. Hey, Savannah. Hey...To You, Too. I Just Sent You The Coolest Video Of Murray Dancing The Macarena. Murray? Oh, You're Jake! She's Right-- You Are Cute. Who's "She"? I Mean, Me. She's Me. You Think I'm Cute? Way Cute. I Guess I've Just Been Too... Shy To Tell You That Before. Would You Like To Go Out With Me? I Thought You'd Never Ask. ( Both Chuckle ) Aah! I Have A Date With Jake? No Way! I Know. I'm Good, Huh? I Get So Nervous Around Him. I Always Say The Wrong Thing, And Do Dumb Stuff, Like Show Him My Guns. I'm Not Even Going To Ask About That. I'll Tell You What-- I'm Going To Be You For One More Day So That I Can Go Out With Jake And Show You How Easy It Is To Be With Him. Just Don't Let Him See You There. Don't Worry. I'm Gonna Be Invisible Around Jake. Jake, I'm So Glad We're Finally Going Out Together. Personally, I Think It's Long Overdue. I Didn't Know You Felt This Way About Me. I Mean, You're Usually So, Um... Independent. Right, But A Girl Can Be Self-Reliant And Still Be Interested. I Don't Know What's Different About You, Savannah, But I Like It. ( Laughs ) ( Gasps ) Who Threw That? I'm Gonna Go Yell At That Busboy. Okay, That Was Really Gross. You're Lucky I Didn't Throw The Busboy At You. What Were You Doing Holding Hands With My Boyfriend? Your Boyfriend? If It Weren't For Me, He Wouldn't Even Know You Existed. Oh, So, Now He's Your Boyfriend? Maybe So. That Doesn't Matter, Because I Happen To Have A Boyfriend Of My Own. Yeah, Like Who? You Can't Even Talk To Guys? Lance Doesn't Mind. Less Talking, More Hugging. Lance Is My Boyfriend! Not Anymore. See You Around The Polo Fields, Savannah! Jake? This Is My Favorite Place For, You Know, Bumping Into People. I Wouldn't Know Anyone Here. Oh, Wait A Minute. Is That My Pool Boy? Hmm. I'd Know For Sure If He Was Holding Some Towels Or Something. For Reals? Lance, Do You Ever Even Listen To Yourself? Only When I Sing Karaoke. I'm Quite The Entertainer. No, I Prefer Looking At Myself. Oh, By The Way, Are My Bangs Clumping? Jake: Come On, Murray! Quick, Put Your Arm Around Me! ( Barking ) ( Laughter) Did I Say Here? I Meant Over There. ( Overlapping Chatter ) Ahem! Savannah. Emma, How's It Going? Whoa. You Two Could Be-- Yeah, We Know-- Twins. So, Have You Met My Boyfriend Lance? Isn't He Cute And So Squeezable? Aah! No Scrunching. Italian Leather. Italian Leather! Isn't He...Divine? Wait. I Just Got An Idea. How About We All Go Out On A Double-Date? Wouldn't That Be Cool? Not Really. That's A Great Idea. In Fact, What Are You Doing This Saturday? You Could Come To My Birthday Ball. Your Birthday Ball? That's My... Favorite Thing To Do. We'll Be There. Let's Go, Guys. ( Groaning ) Wow, He Acts Like He Knows You. Miss You, Too, Murray. ( Woman Singing Opera ) ( Yawns ) I've Never Seen You In A Dress Before, Savannah. Really? Never? Well, I Mean, Since Fourth Grade, When You Started Wearing Pants To Ride Your Skateboard. That Pretty Much Sealed The Deal For Me. I've Had A Major Crush On You Ever Since. So, You Like All That Tomboy Stuff She Does-- I Do? I Even Like Your Guns. Didn't They Used To Be Bigger? ( Song Ends ) Jake, I Think There's Someone Here You Should Get To Know Better. Thank You! Ohh. ( Overlapping Chatter ) Oh, You Look Gorgeous. Oh. Wow. Emma, I Thought I Was The Best-Looking Person At This Party, But You Have Got Me Beat. Wait. Nah, You Got Me Beat. Wait. Nah, It's Your Party. I'll Let You Have It This One Time. Thanks, Lance. You're So...Generous. I Am, Aren't I? Ha Ha! What Are You Looking For? Just Seeing If Savannah And Jake Are Here To See This. The Dog Park People? Who Cares About Them? They Are Not Our Kind. Not Our Kind? Lance, Remind Me Again Why We Started Dating. Because Mumsy And Daddy Set Us Up In The Third Grade. They Wanted Me To Marry Somebody Just Like Me. But--But Emma's Nothing Like You! She's Sweet And Kind And-- Uh, Hello? You're Talking About Yourself. Boy, People Say I'm Conceited. Ha! Lance, I Want To Break Up. What? You Can't Do That. What'll I Tell Mumsy And Daddy? Tell Them You Found Someone You're Totally In Love With. Yourself. Oh, Man, I Love This Product! Savannah. Emma. Walt! Look! Two Emmas! I Didn't Give Birth To Twins, Did I? Darling, We Would've Remembered That. Savannah, I'm So Sorry. Jake Only Likes Me Because He Thinks I'm You. I'm Sorry, Too, Emma. This Was Supposed To Be Your Big Night. Savannah? It's Really You? Now Do You Believe Me? Uh-- Ooh. Sneaks And A Ball Gown. Cute. Already Blogging It. Good Look. Oh, Emma, There's Something Else You Should Know. What? That's Who You Dumped Me For? Dog Park Boy? You--You Dumped My Boyfriend? That's The Other Thing I Thought You Should Know. I'm So Sorry. Don't Be! I've Been Wanting To Dump This Jerk Since The Third Grade, And I Never Had The Nerve! Wait A Minute. Now I Have Two Ex-Girlfriends? ( Woman Singing Opera ) This Is All Because Of You. Hey, Hey, Calm Down, Buddy. ( Shouting ) ( All Gasp ) Ohh... Martina, Darling! Oh! Ohh! It's Over. No Kidding, It's Over! This Is Terrible! Oh, Our Little Girl's Party Is Ruined! No, No, No! People, The Party's Not Ruined! It's Just Getting Started. Time To Party! Taco Truck! ( Cheering ) ( Overlapping Chatter ) Put Your Hands Up, Hands Up Life Is Just A Crazy Ride... Come On! Dance, Dance, Dance I Want To Reach The Sky Tonight I Want To Breathe It In Hey! Whoo! Whoo! Wait, Did You Invite Those Girls? No, I Thought You Did. Whoo! ( Indistinct Chatter ) ( Both Laughing ) Put Your Hands Up, Hands Down Now Turn Around, When You Hear That Sound You'd Better Stop And Pose... This Is Heavenly. Darling, No More Poached Salmon. Let's Make Tuesday Night Taco Night. Yeah! Whoo! ( Cheering ) Put Your Hands Up, Hands Up Live Is Just A Crazy Ride... Pemberly, This Party Rocks! Happy Birthday, Miss Emma. Oh! Pemberly! ( Whimpering ) Ohh. ( Laughs ) But My Parents-- Well, We'll Just Have To Pick Up The Poop Together. Here, Sweetie, Uncle Pemberly's Going To Hold You Now. Mummy's Hitting The Dance Floor. ( Laughter ) Hi! Dance, Dance, Dance I Found A Crazy Photograph Of You And Me ( Cheering ) And Now I'm Through With Being Bad... Whoo! Ha Ha Ha! Ohh! ( Laughing ) Gotta Freak That Beat, Make 'Em Beg For More Everybody Gotta Get On The Dance Floor Gotta Live Your Life, But Live Original We All Got Ups And Downs, You Know Life Is Just A Crazy Ride So, Relax And Break It Down Tonight If It's Rough, That's Enough Dance, Dance, Dance Put Your Hands Up, Hands Down Now Turn Around, When You Hear That Sound You've Gotta Stop And Pose Let It Go Tonight Step To The Right Turn Around And Smile, You've Gotta Stop And Pose Go Ahead And Scream More Do A Little Dance On The Dance Floor So, Just Forgive And Forget... ( Cheering ) Put Your Hands Up, Hands Up Dance, Dance, Dance ( Cheering ) I Guess This All Just Goes To Show That If You Really Care About Your Best Friend, Anyone Can Overcome Being... Frenemies! Frenemies! ( Laughs ) |
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