With the--
With the-- Mit die lndians.
Avram.
l want to talk to you in private.
Speak only English.
And no matter what l say. . .
. . .don't smile.
Out of 88 students graduating
from this yeshiva. . .
. . .you came in a close 87.
Don't smile.
Look sad.
-There is a new congregation--
-ln America?
Some meshuggener suggested your name
to become the new rabbi.
l am forced to take an official vote
of the Board of Rabbis.
lose.
lt's a close vote.
But l am the chief rabbi.
l am the one who has to decide.
So, cowboy. . .
. . .l am sending you to San Francisco.
-Where is San Francisco?
-By New York.
Get out. Quick.
And so,
on a wonderful, sunny day in 1 850...
...I started out my great adventure...
...and I left Poland for Philadelphia...
... the city where all the brothers
love each other.
Belinski. With B, Belinski.
No, no. There were two valises.
Look, lady, l told you,
you're gonna have to wait.
Daddy, Daddy.
The boat's gone.
-Understand?
-Somebody should have told us.
-What'd he say?
-lt's the devil's work.
-The boat is gone.
-Mister.
-What's with the boat to San Francisco?
-Gone.
lt can't be. That boat's to leave
the first morning tide.
Supposed to?
What the hell's the matter with you?
lt's a gold rush.
Haven't you people heard anything?
Next boat, two months.
Oh, God. Oh, my God, help me.
Just this morning me and my brother
got the news.
All right, who's next?
Our mama's dying in San Francisco.
What am l gonna do?
Oh, there-- There must be some way
that a person can go. . .
. . .to San Francisco
in another way than the boat.
Not for us, sir.
Just 1 0 minutes ago, me and my brother
sold our horses and our wagon. . .
. . .so as we could purchase tickets
on this here boat.
And now we ain't got neither.
Well, perhaps if you go to the man
and you told him your troubles. . .
. . .and you give him back the money,
he would give you back the wagon.
You think he'll do it?
lf he is a good man,
l think he would do that, yes.
Mister, would--?
Would you help me, please?
l'm not much good
at explaining myself.
l usually just start to cry.
l will do that. l would be happy
to do it.
But l don't know
if l would be much help to you. . .
. . .with the way l speak English.
Wait, you don't have to carry the bags.
My brother, his name is Matt.
Oh, say-- Say, what's your name?
-Avram.
-Avram. My name's Darryl. Darryl Diggs.
Anyway, my brother's got a temper.
Sometimes, he unloads,
you know what l mean?
-an't l help you to carry--?
-No, l've got it all. Don't worry.
Just step in here.
What was it again, Abrum?
Avram. But you didn't
do nothing wrong.
-Everything go all right?
-Well, we missed the boat.
-What?
-The boat sailed yesterday.
The whole town's crazy.
lt's a gold rush. lt sailed yesterday.
Yeah. Well, what are we
supposed to do now?
Well, God may be on our side yet, Matt,
thanks to this here gentleman.
Avram, this is my brother,
Matthew Diggs.
-How do you do?
-Mr. Jones.
Mr. Jones, we missed our boat.
We find ourselves in a desperate state.
We need our horses and wagon back. . .
. . .so as we can get to San Francisco
to see our mom before she dies.
-So if you'd take your money back. . . .
-l sympathize with your misfortunes.
But you've got to understand,
l'm in the business of buying and selling.
And l don't sell
unless l can make a profit.
But we don't have money
to give you a profit.
Then we don't do no business.
Excuse me.
Excuse me, Mr. Jones.
How much profit do you need
from these gentlemen?
Fifty dollars.
Oh, $50. That's it, Matt, we're sunk.
l'm sorry, Avram.
l'm sorry l wasted your time.
Well, perhaps l could pay the $50.
That's real kind of you, Avram.
l don't know how we could
pay you back. Do you, Matt?
Fifty dollars, look, l don't know.
lf l could have a seat on your wagon
to San Francisco. . .
. . .l would be more than paid back.
You pay the $50 and you can have
a seat with a cushion on it. an't he?
All the way.
l would share the cushion.
Matt, the Lord is smiling
on you and me today.
Amen.
Gentlemen, quiet.
Wonderful, marvelous news.
Just this morning,
l received this letter.
''Dear, Mr. Bender.
This is to inform you that soon,
God willing. . .
. . .you will have a rabbi and a Torah.
Rabbi Avram Belinski. . .
. . .has left Poland to join you
in the village of San Francisco.
Avram thanks you
for the picture of your lovely family.
He is looking eagerly forward
to meeting your daughter, Sarah Mindl. . .
. . .with an eye towards matrimony. ''
-Papa.
-Not now, Sarah Mindl.
But Julius.
-Go to your room.
-What's the matter with Sarah Mindl?
Bender, a rabbi is better
than a Rosenschein.
-Do you want a bite?
-Oh, thanks.
There she is, Avram.
That little shortcut
l was telling you about.
lt's gonna get us to San Francisco
four days earlier.
Good.
What happened? ls it lndians?
Mr. Jones, what's happening?
l don't understand. What--?
Darryl, tell him l paid the $50.
He paid the $50.
-You paid the $50?
-Yeah, l did.
ls the clothes what you want?
You want to take my clothes?
You need my clothes so much?
You don't have your own clothes?
No! No, not the Torah. Please.
Take my money, you can have the--
God. God, help me!
Please, no, don't.
Please, don't do that.
No. Please. Please. No.
What do you need my tallith for?
-Why are you doing this?
-We love you.
-Mr. Jones, why are you doing this?
-You're not happy with our service?
No.
God, l don't want to be
with these filthy crooks.
-We'll fix that you bucko.
-Now, here you go.
-How did we do?
-l got the rest of his money.
What--?
This you couldn't throw out first?
America.
Landsmen!
Landsmen, hello!
Landsmen!
Landsmen, hello!
Landsmen!
Dost thou speak English?
Dost thou. . .
. . .speak Eng--
You know, l think he's crazy.
Good morning.
We have decided. . .
. . .that thou shouldst have
this money for the train to Akron.
We are sorry it cannot be more.
We all hope it will help thee
on thy journey, Brother Avram.
l will never forget. . .
. . .thy kindness.
Thanks.
Bye-bye.
Goodbye, children.
Goodbye.
Thank you very much.
Thanks. Goodbye.
Goodbye, Avram. Goodbye.
My parents have a farm.
Not big like this one. . .
. . .but they have a nice farm.
How is it that thou are not a farmer?
Well, God made me a rabbi.
-Why?
-Why?
l think he had enough farmers.
What a wonderful country.
Simple Simon says,
''Put your fingers on your nose. ''
-Hey, kid, shut up.
-Simple Simon says, ''No laughing. ''
Simple Simon says,
''Put your fingers on your nose. ''
l really have to go.
Simple Simon says,
''Put your fingers on your nose. ''
Don't bother the man, honey.
Simple Simon says,
''You don't have to play. ''
-What's the next stop?
-l think we're an hour and a half away.
Mommy, l'm getting sleepy.
l don't think these trains
stay on schedule.
-Mama, l'm hungry.
-lt's too soon for lunch.
Don't forget to check those bags
when we get off the train.
l know. l know.
You told me a hundred times.
Ladies and gentlemen,
can l have your attention, please?
l want you all to stay calm and listen
because l'm only gonna say this once.
First thing is, don't turn around.
There's a man behind you with a big
shotgun. He don't care to be recognized.
Them that don't believe me
is gonna die.
All right, now. . .
. . .let's all put your hands
on top of your heads.
Good. That's real good.
Now we're all gonna play
like we're in church.
You got something
for the collection, sir?
Very kind.
Ma'am? Thank you.
Thank you very much.
Ma'am?
Thank you.
Well, thank you all very much.
Jake, l'm jumping here.
You go at the next bend.
Remember, folks,
the best way to keep your heads. . .
. . .is keep your hands on top of them.
And don't turn around.
lt's better to give than to receive,
ain't it?
Simple Simon says:
''Everybody laugh. ''
Don't you get the joke?
Simple says, ''Everybody gonna laugh. ''
It's difficult to explain
that a Jew can 't ride on a Saturday.
And for a Jew,
Saturday begins on Friday.
-Name?
-Joseph Peloton.
ool, cool, cool.
See the foreman. Name?
Good. Good.
-Good.
-See the foreman.
-Name?
-You funny-looking fellow.
-Yes. Yes.
-See the foreman. Name?
Yes.
-See the foreman.
-You ever work on railroad before?
-No. This is the first time for me.
-K-O-B.
-See the foreman.
-You sure talk funny.
-Yes.
-See the foreman.
-Yes.
-John Browning.
Some strange-looking characters
looking for jobs.
See the foreman.
-Name?
-Belinski.
Hey!
Hey!
Hey!
Sorry. Sorry, Paco. Sorry.
lt wouldn't happen again.
You can bet your boots on that.
Oh, he did it again.
Wait. Wait, Paco, wait.
Wait, it wasn't done on purpose.
-Avram, some water over here.
-oming right up.
The fresh, fresh water
coming right up.
-Avram.
-What? What happened?
Paco. Wait, no.
-Oh, no.
-You've been asking it.
l'll break your Jewish bones!
You smart, you listen.
We open a big restaurant.
You work one year,
make enough money to buy a wagon.
Maybe we even go with you, huh?
Open a big joint in San Francisco.
Paco, would you show me
where to buy a horse?
-How you going to find your way?
-Paco, please.
Just show me where to buy a horse.
You crazy, Jew boy.
You're gonna get lost.
Believe me. . .
. . .l won't get lost!
Oh, yes, you will!
Goodbye.
Goodbye, Paco.
Goodbye, Mr. Ping.
Wait. Wait, horsy.
Wait, wait, horsy. Take it easy.
Nice horsy.
That's a good horsy. That's it.
Let's take it slow and easy.
Slow. Slow. That's it.
Be a good horse.
Sarah Mindl.
Sarah, Sarah, Sarah.
Oh, my Sarah. Sarah.
Oh, if you knew
what you meant to me.
Hey, shoo!
My food. Oh, my food.
Why me? My food you're gonna take?
You got the whole world,
you're gonna take my food?
Not you. Wait. Not you.
No, horsy, wait. Wait!
No food and no horse.
Now what?
ome back! Komme hier, horsy.
l'll be good to you. l'll be nice!
l'll pick grass for you.
l'll scratch your back.
l'll give you a nice rub.
hicken, chicken, chicken.
hicken, chicken, chicken, come here.
l don't wanna hurt you.
l just want to eat you.
Komme hier. Wait!
l don't wanna hurt you!
l just want to make you kosher!
How hungry are you?
l'm pretty hungry.
lf you had been here yesterday,
we could have had roast chicken.
So that's Jewish cooking, huh?
Pretty good, huh?
Where are you coming from?
Back there.
You're from alifornia, huh?
alifornia is that way?
Lost, ain't you?
Got any money?
No.
You got any food?
No.
Sure talk funny.
Where were you born at?
Poland.
ls that near Pittsburgh?
No, that's near zechoslovakia.
Oh, yeah, yeah.
And you're going to alifornia?
Yes.
You ain't gonna make it.
Excuse me.
ln the morning,
would you be kind enough. . .
. . .to point out
in which direction is San Francisco?
-Sure.
-Good.
-ln the morning.
-ln that case. . .
. . .would you like to fight
for that last fish?
You think you got a chance?
l think l can say,
with complete confidence. . .
. . .none whatsoever.
But l'm still hungry.
-Help yourself.
-Thanks.
What do you call this kind of fish?
Oh, that's a trout.
A trout?
lt's got a lot of bones.
You got family waiting for you?
l'm promised a wife
when l get to San Francisco. . .
. . .but l haven't never met her.
You're gonna marry a woman
that you never seen?
l didn't say l never seen her.
l said, l never met her.
They sent me a picture
before l left Poland.
-Well. . . .
-What you think?
No, that's my kind of woman.
You son of a gun.
You son of a gun, you.
Shit!
-l guess so.
-This other one ain't bad neither.
Good night, Rabbi.
-Good night, cowboy.
-That's a real woman.
Eins, zwei, drei, and tight.
Once through this one and pull tight.
This goes down.
-Well, nice meeting up with you, pard.
-Nice meeting up with you, pard.
-You got it straight?
-Oh, sure.
Right from this tree. . .
. . .l head straight north, five or six
weeks, till l come to the flat country.
-Yeah.
-Then l make a left for two days.
That way, l avoid the lndians.
Then l cross the river. . .
. . .and l make a sharp right,
away from the mountains.
Once l get to the desert, God willing. . .
. . .l just continue, straight as piss,
till l come to the ocean.
Take a left, keeping the ocean
on my right shoulder. . .
. . .and just hot-tail it,
right into San Francisco.
Good?
Pretty good.
Well. . .
. . .l hope you make it.
Okay, wait, horse.
Good.
All right, go, horsy.
That's it.
Straight ahead.
Speak any Mexican, do you?
No. Why do you ask?
Oh, nothing.
Just curious.
lf you should ever come
to San Francisco. . .
. . .l hope that you'll call on me
and we could talk over some nice times.
ome on, horsy.
Hey!
That way.
That way?
Well, of course,
l know it's that way.
But first, l have to go around that big log
before l can go that way.
You mustn't turn a horse so quick.
That's how accidents happen.
You gotta start nice and slow,
that way you get off on the right foot.
What kind of crazy horses
they got in this country.
What do you call this in Jewish?
Well, you keep your eyes on this tochis,
and don't take them off till l tell you.
Keep my eyes on the tochis.
Shit! Don't get no closer
to that edge, Rabbi.
-What kind of word is that?
-What word?
You always say
''shit'' at a certain moment.
Shit?
Well, that's. . . .
That's-- What do you. . .?
Well, you must have a word
in your language that you. . . .
What do you say
when you get really took by surprise?
Yeah.
That's it. That's what shit means.
Oh, shit!
Yeah, that makes sense.
Slow. Slow, horsy.
Well, this is it.
-Where are you going?
-Down the river a few miles.
There's a good place to cross.
-Why not here?
-Here?
Here's a good place to die, but it
ain't a good place to cross the river.
We just jump in and swim
straight across. Simple as pie.
lf you wanna kill yourself, go ahead.
l don't like the odds.
l'm taking the long way.
Now, that shouldn't be so difficult.
That's a killer!
Wait! Wait a minute!
Where you going, horsy?
l didn't say where to go yet!
Oh, no! Oh, no!
l know what's coming! Shit!
Hey, that snake could have killed me!
Well, damn me. lf he can do it, l can.
Help!
Goddamn!
Shit.
You know, Rabbi,
you're one crazy bastard!
Remember, l'm the kind of person, when
he says he's gonna do something. . .
. . .he does it!
You got a guarantee, huh?
He could be laying there,
dead in the wilderness!
Bite your tongue! You're talking
about my future son-in-law.
Somebody, maybe should remind
Sarah Mindl.
Rosalie.
Rosalie, get your sister
away from that idiot.
l'm not mixing in. l'm not mixing in.
This is a nice little town.
old, but nice.
Yeah. l guess.
l don't think that fellow
is 1 00 percent.
l'll see if l can find us
some place to stay.
-Some place pretty cheap.
-Yeah, pretty cheap.
About tomorrow morning.
This ain't traveling weather.
l know this place ain't fancy,
but it's got a roof.
And like you say, it's cheap.
We just stay here a couple months,
then head south.
No. l've wasted too much time
already.
When they banged on your head,
they must have mushed your brains.
So goddamn worried about time,
how come you don't ride on Saturday?
l told you, it's against my religion
to ride on the Sabbath.
Well, l got me a new religion too.
And one of the things
you ain't allowed to do is die.
Them's real mountains out there
and that's a real blizzard building up.
l'm telling you, we can't make it.
-l can make it.
-Goddamn.
l ain't gonna let you talk
to me into this.
lt's just impossible.
Every goddamn lndian knows that.
Every goddamn trapper knows that.
l know. You don't like it
when l talk that way.
But l'm telling you,
you ain't gonna talk me into it this time.
Am l trying to talk you into anything?
Good night. Have a nice trip.
Good night. And thanks
for everything you did for me. . .
. . .up until the time
l needed you the most.
Don't wake me in the morning.
l'll try to be as quiet as possible!
So, what do you think now, Rabbi?
lt's cold.
You should see it in winter.
In the Talmud it says,
''Find thyself a teacher. ''
And this I have done.
However, there were times I feared
that he would find another pupil.
Get your horse down!
lf we'd have gone on,
we'd have froze to death.
No. Make one.
Move.
ome here!
loser.
Wait, we are doing this to keep warm,
aren't we?
ln that case,
you can put your arms around me.
ome here, darling.
That's better.
Hey, look.
l think we've found
the Garden of Eden.
Well, it ain't exactly
the Garden of Eden.
What a wonderful place America is.
There are no walls around these cities.
You don't have to worry about soldiers
coming from the next town and killing.
You know, l think this is the West.
We're in the Wild West here.
-Just like the books l read in Poland.
-Just hold on.
-This is a wonderful city.
-l'll be there in a minute.
They got banks and restaurants.
They got merchants of all kinds here.
And look at the people,
how they're dressed.
l think those are cowboys.
-Howdy.
-Howdy.
Pull up here.
l got a little business
l wanna take care of.
Hold onto the horses, will you?
l'll be right back.
Move it!
-What's happening?
-We just robbed the bank!
-What did you say?
-We just robbed the bank!
What do you mean, ''we''?
The bank! They just robbed the bank!
We need a posse, boys! Let's go!
-What for?
-l said, we need a posse!
To hell with you.
l ain't got money in the bank.
-But they robbed it!
-Well, go get them. lt's your bank.
Five dollars a man!
-Five?
-Seven-fifty!
-Not worth it.
-l'll go for 1 1 .
-Ten!
-Eleven!
All right, you bastards.
Eleven dollars. Let's go!
Now, don't get comfortable.
We can't stop here.
-How could you do this to me?
-lt's what l do. l'm a bank robber.
-But you made me a bank robber!
-So what? You get your half.
Get out of my life.
What?
Get out of my life! Get out!
l don't want you here!
-Get out of my life!
-Hold it!
Take it easy. Take it easy.
You better cool off.
Slow down.
Guns?
You gonna shoot guns at me?
Guns?
You know, you're really crazy.
Sure, l'm crazy. l'm a bank robber.
Who else would rob a bank, but a crazy?
You're no bank robber.
All you did was hold the horses.
-You think l could tell them that?
-Sure!
-And would they listen?
-Yeah, they'll listen. Then hang you.
-And what if l gave back the money?
-You mean your half.
Yes, l mean my half!
They'll string you up by your balls
till you say where the rest is.
Then they'll hang you!
Make up your mind, partner.
Go fast, horsy! Go fast!
Wait, Tommy, wait! l'm coming.
Looks like fresh tracks.
They were here, all right.
Here's some blood.
Hey, that was me.
l knew l got that one.
lf you did, he sure took a long time
to start bleeding.
All right, let's go, men.
Let's look for a tree for the hanging!
Hey! Hey! Hey!
Another river?
l wish that we could build
a bigger fire.
Well, we can't.
We're lucky to have this much.
They ain't that far behind us.
By sunrise, they're gonna catch on
to my dumb-ass trick.
There, that ought to warm you up.
Three hundred and twenty dollars each.
Not bad, huh?
Now, ain't you something.
l never figured you was even
gonna take the money. . .
. . .tainted and all, like it is.
So you're rich.
What are you gonna do with it all?
When we get to the next town,
l'm going to send it back.
Well, l'd be careful till then.
lt's dangerous out here.
A fella could get his self robbed.
l'll keep out a watch for strangers.
About ready.
hurch over. We'd better make tracks.
l figure they know pretty much
where we're at.
lt ain't gonna take them too long
to find us.
-Hold still. Hold still, horsy. Be good.
-an't really afford such a late start.
What the hell are you doing?
l don't ride today.
What are you talking about?
Today is Saturday.
-So?
-l don't ride on Saturday.
l know that. But don't tell me
you ain't gonna ride today.
l ain't gonna ride today.
-l asked you not to tell me that!
-That's what l'm telling you.
But this ain't no ordinary Saturday!
Why is this Saturday
different from all other Saturdays?
Because this Saturday,
there's a hanging posse chasing us!
l promise you, right now,
they're doubling back to that stream.
l don't ride on Saturday!
Jesus, you give me the peedoodles!
There ain't no Jews in that posse,
you know!
They just as soon string you up
on Saturday as any other day.
They don't give a shit for your holiday,
don't you know that?
Goddamn it if l'm gonna walk!
l've asked you not to say that.
You stupid, ignorant son of a bitch.
l ain't waiting around
for that posse to find us.
-l'm leaving.
-Who's asking you to stay?
Goodbye.
There it is.
l'm gonna show you something.
Look over there.
You know what that is?
Yes.
Well?
When the sun sets.
Know what you are?
You're a real meshuggener.
They're coming. Damn you.
-ome on.
-They're coming.
Now?
Not yet.
Now?
-Not yet.
-Now?
-Now!
-Thank God.
Longest damn day of my life.
Now, these are apple trees.
Hot.
lt's hot.
Will you quit that?
They ain't coming.
-How do you know?
-Because it's been four days.
l'm telling you, they ain't coming.
Now, just relax.
What's that?
Them is lndians. Let's go!
-Go, horsy.
-ome on!
Let's go! They ain't serving tea,
you know, you idiot!
Go, horsy.
Shit!
Quick! Go quick, horse.
an't they see that we're friends?
What did they want?
They wanted our horses,
our guns, our scalps, our heads.
Jesus, l don't know.
They wanted our asses, that's what.
But why? What did we do?
They've been shit on by white men so
long, they don't ask questions no more.
They wasn't painted up for one of your
bar mitzvahs, l can tell you that.
Oh, no. Oh, no.
-Oh, my God.
-What's the matter?
-Oh, my God.
-What's the matter?
-Oh, God. The Torah.
-Wait! Wait, damn it! Wait!
l ain't going with you this time,
goddamn it!
-Let go!
-That was war paint, stupid ignoramus!
-Let go of me! Let go of me.
-They won't talk, they'll kill you!
-l ain't going, you son of a bitch!
-Who's asking you?
So long, sucker!
Have a nice funeral!
You dumb asshole!
How did you get me into this?
Please.
l'll be good.
Oh, God, get me out of this!
Oh, please. Please, Jesus.
l'm your friend.
l don't wanna die, please.
You goddamn son of a bitch.
Let go. l never did anything wrong.
How did l get into this?
Who the hell are you?
Me Rabbi.
Jewish Rabbi.
ome from far away.
Across big ocean.
l read much books about lndians.
You don't speak English very well.
He's a holy man, chief. Speaks
to spirits every morning and night.
And he's so good and kind and gentle.
Just a sweetheart of a man.
When we robbed a bank
and the posse was chasing us. . .
. . .he wouldn't ride on Saturday.
No siree.
That's his holy day.
lt would make his spirits angry.
an he make rain?
Rain. Rain?
You should've seen the rain.
Buckets of rain coming down,
day after day.
l didn't know what we were gonna do
with the stuff.
-And if you wanna talk about snow--
-Don't talk about snow.
No.
You came for this.
Yes.
l have read this book.
Did not understand one word.
-What do you call this book?
-Torah.
-Torah.
-Torah.
The Torah.
-Torah?
-Good.
Will you trade your horse for Torah?
-Yes.
-Your horse and your boots?
-Yes.
-And your clothes?
-Yes.
-And everything else you own?
Yes. Everything.
-Even your knife?
-l have no knife.
No knife.
White man has no knife?
-You have no knife?
-No.
lf l give you back Torah. . .
. . .will you purify your soul
through fire?
Yes.
Shit.
lf l let you go, may l keep Torah?
No!
Rabbi with no knife,
you are a brave man.
And you. . .
. . .who speak to lndians
as if to little children. . .
. . .your heart is big,
not as big as your mouth--
Well.
--but you have good feelings inside.
Thanks, chief. Thanks very much.
Thanks.
You should just be healthy
and that's the most important thing.
Now, this is a good drink.
The Great Spirit send us right--
Wonderful!
Wonderful and nice dancing.
Nice does not make rain.
Yes or no, can your God make rain?
-Yes.
-But he doesn't?
-That's right.
-Why?
-Because that's not his department!
-But if he wanted to, he could?
-Yes!
-What kind of God do you have?
-Don't say my God. He's your God too.
-Don't give him to us.
-We have enough troubles with our gods.
-But there's only one God.
-What does he do?
-He can do anything!
Then why can't he make rain?
Because he doesn't make rain!
He gives us strength
when we're suffering.
He gives us compassion
when all that we feel is hatred.
He gives us courage when
we're searching around blindly. . .
. . .like little mice in the darkness.
But he does not make rain!
Of course, sometimes just like that,
he'll change his mind.
-Really good food.
-Watch out for that stuff.
What's the matter with you?
l love this fruit.
lt ain't fruit.
l'm telling you, watch out.
Eat.
See that?
Good. l don't know what the recipe is,
but this is good.
Tell me, what do Jewish people do
to express joy?
Just like the lndians.
They dance, just like this.
-Show me.
-Me? Oh, l'm not a very good dancer.
-Do you feel joy?
-Yes, l do. Very much.
Then show me, please.
Dance with my people.
Well, l'll take a crack.
No.
l want him to dance with you.
He is going to show you
how his people dance.
Well. . .
. . .you ready on the tommies?
Go. Everybody dance.
Always with the left foot first.
First we start slow, then we're
gonna do some nice footwork.
That's it. That's good with the hands.
Watch that lady.
l think that lady's a Jewish lndian.
Just have a little fun and don't you
worry what the neighbors are thinking.
Watch the left foot.
Try to keep in time
with the other boys and girls.
That's it.
Just get a message from your feet.
They're talking to you all the time.
l'll say, if you could move
the waist and the hips a little bit. . .
. . .you'll be very happy with the results.
Then walk toward the left.
The left shoulder out.
That's the way we do things
in the old country.
And hold on tight. Here we go.
And don't get lost.
Move a little faster. Faster.
Listen to the feet.
Stay close. Everyone shout.
Get ready for a jump.
Now we do a jump.
A little bitty jump.
That's the way we do it.
Try a little jumping, one, two, three.
And get ready for a switch.
Here we go, clap your hands, both sides.
One, two, three, four.
lap right. lap left.
One, two, three, four.
lap right. lap left.
l think you got it.
You got the swing of it.
Just listen to the crazy feet.
They're going a mile a minute.
One, two, three, four.
lap left, right.
Everybody clap your hands.
One, two, three, four.
One, two, three. lap your hands.
Hello.
Am l in the--?
ln the right place?
l hear bells.
Am l. . .?
ls this. . .?
l'm not. . .?
l think l was a little sick, wasn't l?
You want to ask me anything?
He can't, coz.
-Tommy.
-How are you?
-Good.
-Oh, you look a lot better.
Boy, you were really
out of your head last night.
You had me really worried.
ould you eat a little something?
Always.
Good. They're waiting breakfast
for us.
Leave that Torah here, it'll be safe.
Had enough trouble with that Torah.
-You're okay, huh?
-Yeah.
Oh, good. Boy, why don't you listen
to me when l tell you about that stuff?
You think l'm talking to you
for my own good?
l tell you something, l'm not talking
for my own health--
What's the point of all my experience?
You don't listen.
They're waiting breakfast.
You mean they never say anything,
ever?
See, once they take the vow,
they stop talking.
l mean not one word.
There's an old man here, Father Joseph,
he ain't spoke in 45 years.
Forty-five years?
What--? How do they--?
What if they're playing cards. . .
. . .and they want to ask their partner
something, what do they do?
Forty-five years?
How can you live that long without
ever asking a person one question?
Good!
l like this food.
l know not to ask any questions.
Don't worry, l understand.
Do you grow these right here--?
Sorry, sorry.
l understand. No talking.
lt's just that l'm not used to this,
you know.
Would you please--?
The salt!
Pass the salt, please.
-Thanks.
-You're welcome.
You did it, didn't you?
You gave them back the money.
-Yep!
-Yep.
Well, that ain't the American way.
What's more now,
you ain't got no money.
-Well, now what are you gonna do?
-Don't know.
You don't know?
Well, l'll tell you what l'm gonna do.
l'm gonna get me a bath.
Then l'm gonna get drunk.
Then l'm gonna catch me a whore
with great big tits.
Then l'm gonna get drunk again.
Then l'm gonna rob that Wells Fargo
office and get my money back.
You dumb-ass Jew.
Evening.
-Evening.
-We don't allow dancing in the street.
lf you wanna dance,
you go over to the saloon.
Oh, thanks.
-Evening.
-Evening.
Get your money down.
Get your money down.
No more bets, please.
-Two a winner!
-Strange, strange.
Never saw anyone like that
come into our tavern.
Okay, no more bets, please.
Hello.
-Hope you don't mind if l watch.
-Stranger in town?
-Welcome to the Red Dog.
-l like your piano playing.
No more bets, please.
-Ain't you got the darndest luck?
-Two times a winner!
You won again, Matt!
-Thank you.
-All right, hit the gold. Hit the gold.
A winner every time,
it looks like.
No more bets, please.
One red! A winner again!
Hey, what the hell you doing, mister?
Would you hold this for me, please?
Well, l-- No one--
-The wheel waits for no man.
-ome on.
-Place your bets.
-He got a winning streak. Let's go.
Let's go. Let it ride, all right.
One red, a winner.
He wins again.
l want back my money.
-l know you from someplace, don't l?
-You must be loco, mister.
l want my $200.
Piss off.
All right, all right.
No more bets, please.
That's good there. No more bets.
-And he's back again.
-l can't believe it.
lf he's smart, he'll leave right now.
Looks like big trouble.
l don't want to hurt nobody.
l just want my money.
We're gonna kill you.
That there is just to get
your attention.
Just stay on the floor.
Pretend you're hurt.
-You ready, Mr. Jones?
-Oh, l'm ready.
Oh, now l remember you.
-Are you ready?
-Yeah.
Put him on the bar.
He's gonna do the beer barrel.
We haven't done that one
in a couple of months.
Now, come on, now,
don't mess up his funny beard.
Oh, he'll break the back of his face.
Oh, don't break the bar.
l hope he's got enough money
to pay for a new set of teeth.
Nobody move.
You.
Put $200 on the bar.
You know where the next one's going.
Yes, sir.
And you, how much you got?
-Eighty-two dollars.
-Get it up there.
Put the barrel down, now.
Now. . .
. . .the three of you. . .
. . .go away.
Leave the rest.
Yes, sir.
You're a rich man.
l got your $200 back.
Your friends just left.
Well, in that case. . .
. . .let's go out and have a little fun.
l'm game.
Well, coz, we made it.
See, it's just like l told you.
Right at that big tree,
then left for a couple days. . .
. . .sharp right, then straight as piss
till you come to the ocean.
Who would have dreamed
it could be so simple?
Yeah.
You don't know me
next time you see me.
l'll kick your ass
all the way back to Poland.
Why wouldn't l know you?
You going away someplace?
Well, yeah.
This is where we say goodbye, Avram.
What do you mean?
Well, you follow that beach for a day
and a half, you'll be in San Francisco.
You don't need me no more.
-Where are you going?
-l'm going that way.
Sutter's Mill.
That's where the gold is.
But l don't want you to go.
Well, l gotta go.
Why?
Well, l got people to see. . .
. . .banks to rob, you know,
l gotta make a living.
Who's going to be the best man
at my wedding?
What do you mean?
That's for one of your Jewish friends.
You gotta pick your best friend
for that.
You are my best friend.
l'm your best friend?
You're my only friend.
Now, listen to me, coz.
You keep your eyes on this tochis. . .
. . .and don't you take them off
till we get to San Francisco.
l never had a best friend.
lt's cold. alifornia is cold.
Hey, l got a bank robber.
A bank robber.
You think a bank robber
is stronger than God?
l'm a rabbi!
l can beat any bank robber!
Swimming lesson's over.
-Look at the mermaids out of the ocean.
-aught them with no pants on.
lt's time for a little comeuppance,
boys!
Damn you horse!
He's out of bullets!
He dropped the gun!
Get the gun!
Shoot him!
There! Right there! Look!
lt's in the sand!
Don't let him grab the other gun!
Shoot him! He's gonna kill us!
Shoot him!
Shoot him, Avram!
He's going for the other gun!
Shoot him for chrissakes!
Shoot him!
Help me!
He's gonna kill us! Shoot him!
Shoot him, Avram! Shoot him!
Don't you understand?
He's going for the other gun!
Don't let him grab that gun!
Don't let him grab the other gun!
There! There! Right there!
Look, it's in the sand!
Shoot him, Avram! Shoot him!
lt only looks bad, coz.
l've been hurt worse before.
Give me the whiskey.
Get the saddlebags.
l'll show you how to fix me up.
All right?
You've never killed a man before, huh?
Get me the saddlebag.
Now, go to sleep.
You're still acting kind of funny.
-Are you sure you're all right?
-l'm fine. You go to sleep now.
Hey, Rabbi. . .
. . .you think God sent me
to show you the way?
Perhaps.
l must be some kind of angel.
Well, it's sure a pretty day, ain't it?
Yes.
lt's a beautiful day.
Howdy.
Hello.
Howdy.
Howdy. How do?
-Hello there.
-Do you want something?
Well. . . .
Do l want--? No!
Well, gol dang it, ma'am,
my name is Tommy Lillard.
And l come from the Texas--
l come from Texas.
And. . . .
Excuse me if l gave you
a little startle there.
-l was a little startled there for a second.
-What do you want?
Well, l came to bring this thing here
for Mr. Bender.
-lf l got the right house and all.
-You do. l'm his daughter.
Yeah, l know that.
Oh, oh, you're the daughter?
You are the Bender daughter.
Howdy.
Would you care to come in?
Well, l would like to, but l--
Thanks, no, because l got
a friend waiting at the saloon. . .
. . .and my other friend, the rabbi. . .
. . .asked me to bring this here to you--
l mean, bring this to your father.
What is it?
This thing? l don't know.
l think it's some kind of Torah.
A Torah?
Yeah, l think that's what he called it.
So where is he?
-Who?
-The rabbi.
Where is the rabbi?
Oh, where is the rabbi? The rabbi.
Well, l don't rightly know, ma'am.
The last time l seen him, l was
busting my britches in the cathouse. . .
. . .and my friend, the rabbi, asked me
if l should ever come Frisco way. . .
. . .would l drop by this house
and do him this favor?
Anyway, it was nice. . .
. . .to make your acquaintance,
ma'am. . .
. . .and l'd. . . .
ls something wrong?
No, no, no. No.
lt's just l didn't know
that your eyes would be so brown.
How would you know that?
How would l know that?
How would l know that? That's right.
How could l know that?
l couldn't know that.
Well, l'd better get going. . .
. . .l hate to keep my sidewinder
waiting.
So l just give you that
to give to your father.
-Look. Wait.
-And l'll say goodbye.
-Papa.
-No, no, no, don't call the papa.
l'd really better get my ass out of here.
So thanks and adis for everything.
Wait. Wait, please. Papa! Wait!
Wait!
Papa.
You ain't gonna eat none of this?
l don't understand you, man. . .
. . .if you don't eat,
you're gonna sure lose your strength.
This is a good piece of meat.
You ought to have something.
Gotta eat something. Thank you.
Now, look, you go up and change,
and then we'll go together. . .
. . .and we'll tell your people
that the new rabbi has arrived. All right?
l've told you that l can't be a rabbi.
Don't you tell me that.
Now, just don't say that again.
Not after what l've been through
to get your goddamn ass here alive.
lf you hadn't shot that man,
we'd both be dead.
Do you understand that,
you ignorant asshole?
You do understand that?
He was gonna kill you,
then he was gonna kill me. Am l right?
When you shot that son of a bitch,
that was not a sin.
Then what the hell
are we talking about?
When those men were shooting
at you. . .
. . .l ran to save the Torah.
So? l understand that.
You're a man of God. l understand that.
l wasn't thinking about God.
l didn't do it because of God.
l don't know one thing about God.
l was thinking about a book.
l cared more for a book
than l did for my best friend.
l don't know if you can understand that.
l don't want to insult you. . .
. . .but do you understand what l mean?
l chose a piece of paper
instead of you.
But l forgive you.
l know that you do.
But you're a good man.
l am a good man, l am.
But l'm not a rabbi.
You don't say that.
-Tommy, l'm not a rabbi.
-Don't say that!
-He did it again.
-Why do they let people like that in here?
You are a rabbi.
l'm a bank robber.
l'm a card player and a whoremonger.
That's what l am.
You are a rabbi.
You can fall into mud, slip on your ass,
travel in the wrong direction. . .
. . .but even on your ass, in the mud,
if you go the wrong direction a bit. . .
. . .you're still a rabbi!
That's what you are.
Right?
lf l'm who l am,
how come you ain't what you are?
You're just too goddamn good
to have the same rules.
Now, you answer me.
You look me in the eye
and you answer me.
Don't you dare sit there
and not answer me.
You'd better have an answer for me.
ls this the place?
lt doesn't look like a place
that a rabbi would visit.
-Maybe Rosalie made a mistake?
-We don't belong here, come Bender.
Look at those funny-looking people.
Those dresses look like
they came from Europe.
What's he talking about?
-What's he talking about?
-He wants to know if you're the rabbi.
Me?
You tell him.
l'm the rabbi.
You're the rabbi?
Funny, you don't look like a rabbi.
l just traveled 3000 miles
across this country. . .
. . .and l was thanking my best friend
for getting me here alive.
My name is Avram Belinski. . .
. . .and l come from a small village
in Poland.
And don't you judge people
by their appearance!
-We have a rabbi!
-We have a rabbi!
Excuse me, Rabbi. Please forgive me.
l am very, very happy to see you.
-Let's have a drink, for God's sakes.
-Yeah!
Wait a minute! Wait a minute!
Wait a minute! Who's paying?
Take from the building fund.
Everybody to the bar!
Pardon me, everybody, please.
Please make a little room here.
Thank you. l'm so sorry to spoil you--
Bartender, drinks for all my friends.
-Well, what will you have?
-Straight whiskey.
-Whiskey for everybody!
-Whiskey.
Rabbi, this is Mrs. Bender.
Welcome. Welcome, Rabbi.
And this is my younger daughter,
Rosalie.
l know that
in our marriage agreement. . .
. . .l mentioned my other daughter,
Sarah Mindl.
-What difference does it make if--?
-Papa!
You know, your father thinks that
you can just switch one promised wife. . .
. . .for another promised wife, but l know
that it isn't that way in America.
So please,
don't feel obligated in that way.
Wouldn't you like to dance with me?
l would.
l would love to dance with you. . .
. . .but, you know,
a rabbi shouldn't do that.
A rabbi can dance with his fiance,
can't he?
Bartender!
Yes?
You get out here!
Yes?
Now, you listen good.
That man killed my brother.
Me and him gonna have a fair fight.
There ain't gonna be
no advantage taken here.
We're going outside.
Bartender, l just want it down
for the record.
This gonna be a fair fight.
Rabbi. . . .
Rabbi, let's go.
No more killing.
Oh, yes.
Oh, yes.
Please, don't do this.
lt would be terrible if some innocent
people in here got hurt, wouldn't it?
-That man is not normal.
-Notice how he shakes that gun.
Huh, Rabbi?
ls what he says true?
ls it?
All right, get outside, both of you.
Rabbi, l beg you, Rabbi. Please.
Please, don't do this. Please.
Let somebody talk to him.
Go somewhere else.
Rabbi, you got a gun?
Well, there you go.
Well, don't worry. . .
. . .you know this gun.
This is the one you used
to kill my brother Darryl with.
There's gonna be
no advantage taken here.
There.
Just like a man.
Make your move.
Well, don't just stare at me! You ain't
gonna get away with it like that!
Draw, you stinking coward!
Stop it, please!
You yellow bastard, draw.
You draw
or l'm gonna bash your head in.
That was just to get your attention!
Now, listen to me.
The war's over!
Do you understand that?
No more killing!
You reach for that pistol again
and l'll blow your head off!
This ain't your fight.
This is my fight!
But he killed my brother
and l'm gonna kill him!
You and your partner and your pig-faced
brother ambushed us on the beach.
And if the rabbi
hadn't pulled the trigger. . .
. . .you would have shot us both
in cold blood!
-Who's got the guns?
-Looks like a pretty fancy man.
l knew it. What did l tell you?
Reach for it! Please!
Wait a second.
Now, wait a second.
Let's talk this over.
l'm not a rabbi for nothing, you know.
l think l have a solution.
Just wait a second.
This is a very big country.
l'll tell you what l think
is the best thing.
l'll take San Francisco,
you take the rest of America.
And if you ever come back
to this place again. . .
. . .l don't think
you're gonna get off so easy.
Now, get the hell out of here.
Would somebody please show
this poor asshole the way out of town?
I've crossed rivers
and I've climbed high mountains...
...and I was captured
by wonderful Indians.
I did so many things.
God has truly blessed me.
And what's more...
...how many rabbis can say that
they had a bank robber for a best man?
Music, maestro, please.
Ripleyen :OLDBOY
imdb19@yahoo.com