1
Good morning, sir.
This is Rajiv Chabbra calling
from PP Pavitra Pani Purifier.
Stop with your purifier nonsense.
I will complain about you
if you call me again.
One minute.
- Hang up now.
Okay, sir. Thank you.
Hello. Good morning, sir.
This is Rajiv calling from
PP Purifier, sir.
You...
Good morning, maam.
This is Rajiv Chhabra calling
from PP Purifier.
I spoke to you yesterday...
No. No.
- We drink water from the earthen pot.
I was...
- I dont want it. I dont want it.
Thank you. Thank you.
(Ring tone)
Yes, Samir.
- Rajiv, come fast.
Boss is getting angry.
I am coming. I am on my way.
I am coming. I am coming.
I have almost reached.
Sir, please drive faster.
Sir, this is not a plane to fly away.
Amazing! Dont you have manners?
Dont you know how to talk?
And why did you stop the car?
There is a jam ahead.
There is no space to move out.
I am bound to stop the car.
What nonsense.
Yes, Sameer.
- Where are you?
Sameer,
I am stuck in a jam at the RTO.
What do I do?
- You will lose your job.
No. No. No. Dont say that Sameer.
Please manage.
Leave the car and run on foot.
I am coming. I am coming.
Sir, how much till here?
Here you are.
I will walk from here.
Hmm.
Here you are.
And the remaining 20?
They are torn.
- I will make do.
Run. You will lose your job
for the 20 bucks.
Have tea on my behalf. Go and die.
I will also have snacks.
I will complain about you
to Yoyo cabs.
And I wont even give you stars.
You will lose your rating.
Run. You will lose your job.
Hello, young man.
Hello, uncle.
You look very tired.
Uncle, I am in a huge mess.
- What?
Forget it, uncle.
Are you worried about your job?
Uncle, if you dont mind,
may I ask you something?
How old are you?
Have you ever done a private job?
Uncle, you will die at 50.
Private firms suck
the life out of you.
On top of that they say,
show some energy.
Show some energy.
Have vitamins.
Vitamins, uncle.
What vitamins?
Vitamin A is taken by the traffic.
Vitamin B is taken by my boss.
Vitamin C makes a fool of me.
Sunny takes away Vitamin D.
And Sameer takes away my Vitamin E.
What happened?
Uncle, the lift is stuck.
I will lose my job.
So, what?
Pakistan and China
will attack together.
Will you cry then or fight?
Uncle, we will deal about that
when it will happen.
Son, this is an emergency blackout.
Manage the front, soldier.
Come on.
Uncle, just shut up.
I am really going to start
abusing now. Move.
(Sanskrit prayers)
Hey.
- Run. Run.
You had pressed the 3rd floor.
You had to go further up.
Uncle,
this lift might get stuck again.
I dont want to risk it.
One should take risks.
It is could to take risks, son.
Uncle, why dont you take risks?
Make this your battlefield.
Turn this into your bunker.
You damned scared chicken.
Sorry.
I will message you the address.
One minute. One minute.
Bro, where were you?
Bro, where were you?
Forget that. What is boss saying?
Boss is very angry.
He is creating new abuses
with your name.
Yell me, if I should go or not?
If you dont go,
you will lose your job for sure.
And if you go there then...
- Then?
Go inside, you will find out.
Why are you talking in riddles?
Just tell me to go.
Listen to me. Calm down.
Hi, Sonam.
Hi, Rajiv. Why are you so late.
No. Do you know the traffic outside?
I have come running.
Now run and go.
He is waiting for you.
Sameer, wait for a moment.
You saw that I was speaking to here.
One minute.
By the way how is your toothache?
Is it okay?
Have you taken any medicines?
Yes, its better.
Sameer had got the medicines.
Thanks, bro.
Thats my duty.
Sonam is not your girlfriend
after all.
She is my friend too.
You just think anything.
You take care.
I will take care of her.
Go and take care of your job.
Shraddha, just trust me.
You know, I am there.
Your entire life is left.
We will do it together.
As friends.
You moron.
What do I do with you?
How dare you enter
without permission?
Sir, you had called me.
Bhaskar.
Yes, sir.
Parrot nosed man.
I have told you so many times
not to allow..
..anyone to enter inside
without permission.
Go and get some coffee.
And listen.
Get two.
Thank you, sir.
All right.
Will you have coffee?
Inauspicious one.
Not for you.
For madam.
You havent sold a single purifier
last month.
Sir, I am trying my best.
What can I do
if they are not getting sold?
Look at Sameer.
He has sold 42 in 6 months.
He has only got big pumps.
He doesnt have a lot of guts.
- You are correct.
Sir, may I leave?
Sweety, I still need to tell you
more things.
Relax.
Yeah.
Now listen carefully.
If you dont sell at least
one purifier till this Friday..
..then I have already got
your resignation letter typed.
Got it?
Yes.
- Sir, may I leave?
No, you sit.
I will leave.
Right, sir?
- Yes.
Leave.
Call the customers.
Request him.
Beg him.
Do anything.
But sell purifiers.
Otherwise if you dont sell one
by Friday..
..I will get you cursed by Saturn
on Saturday.
This is enough. Got it.
You cannot talk to me like this.
You know my dad used to talk
to my mom like this.
And I didnt use to like that at all.
I get very angry
when someone talks to me like this.
I am going to kill you.
Power! Father.
Hey!
You havent left yet.
Shall I send you a Whats App?
Sorry, sir.
Sonam, dont do this.
Then what should I do?
You swore on the Mother Goddess
that you wont cheat.
When did I cheat?
I am telling and leaving.
Who leaves like this?
Then how to do this?
This is how you break up.
I love you.
Rajiv, be practical.
Love is not enough to live.
Couldnt you tell me
about being practical before.
I wouldnt have fallen in love
with you.
So, I am telling you now.
I also need financial security.
Can you give that?
Let me try.
I can sell 1 or 2 purifiers.
1 or 2 purifiers wont
make a difference.
Sonam, dont speak like that.
Anyway, every drop fills
the pot, right?
Look, I will become old
by the time you pot gets filled.
Sonam, please dont do this.
Think again.
I had all my hopes on you.
Rajiv! You are such a cry baby!
It is not crying.
- Enough.
Sonam please.
- Enough. Bye.
Sonam.
Gone?
She is angry.
Will she get pacified or not?
My entire life depends on
one purifier.
If this gets sold, I am good.
Otherwise I am done for.
You will be very happy today.
The man who has been
who has been climbing..
..the stairs to your temple
for the last two years.
The one who comes to pay
homage to you.
The one who is begging you
even today.
He is still here.
The one who couldnt sell
a single purifier.
The one who broke up
with his girlfriend.
The one who couldnt sell
a single purifier.
The one who broke up
with his girlfriend.
The one who doesnt even
have money to pay rent.
On top of that he is almost
about to lose his job.
What should he do?
Is it my fault that I cant buy Zara
sandals for my girlfriend?
Is it my fault that I am innocent?
Just give me back my lost love.
And save my job.
Please turn my Friday
into a happy day.
Gunja,
have you got the water bottles?
Yes, maam.
We have got more water bottles
than stuff in the house.
Get a new water purifier.
Oh yes.
Yesterday even Mr. Manchanda came..
..and was making fun about this.
But you know,
that we dont have the time.
My hubby is busy in theater.
And I am busy with NGO work.
Maam.
Hmm.
- May I say something?
Be careful with your hubby.
Give him some time.
Otherwise he will start
spending time elsewhere.
My mom used to say that
men are like buckets.
They only need water to get filled.
It can be from the well or the river.
My hubby is not like that.
We had a love marriage.
So, there is no suspicion
where there is love.
And my Gagan is unique
in the world.
This is the rule of love
which is still not within rules.
Usually love is never successful.
But this love might
have been successful..
..if it was not between
a prince and a maid.
Awesome.
Wife, he acts well.
I had never thought that
royalty and servitude..
..will reach such a situation.
I want to kiss this land..
..which..
..introduced me to my love.
I salute the air and the wind here.
Please accept my salutations.
Is this audience bereft of admirers?
There are no whistles or claps.
So, tell me emperor of India.
What punishment have you
decided for this lover?
Is there any hope for pardon or not?
The criminals of love
are not pardoned..
..they are punished, Sheku.
Shekhu.
- Sheku.
Shekhu. Shekhu. Shekhu. Shekhu.
Sheku.
What? Go ahead.
What a cheap Akbar?
He cannot even say Shekhu properly?
Sorry, emperor.
Love is no crime.
It is.
When it doesnt care about anyone..
..is shameless and out of control.
Sheku.
Love is worship for lovers.
They dont care about all this.
In such a case there is
no chance of control..
..and carelessness
Jalaluddin Mohammed Akbar.
Sheku.
You must be thinking
that the one who always..
..used to call you father
is now calling you..
..Jalaluddin Mohammed Akbar
Damn. He forgot the last dialogue.
Sheku, that was my dialogue.
It was.
I was hungry.
I ate it like I was having food.
Sheku, how dare you?
Love without daring is nothing.
Sheku.
Dont use so much effort.
The pressure from your belly
will end somewhere else.
And then even the doctor
wont be able to help the emperor.
And the one who wont clap
will be punished by God.
Your punishment is that...
You want to say that
I should be made..
..to ride a fair mule or eaten
like sweet Paan.
Put me in the cage of tigers
or make me fight with bulls.
Dont eat the dialogues
of other characters.
You wont be able to digest them.
You will have a stomach upset.
I wont.
I know how to turn liquid into solid.
And you are just playing my dad.
Dont try to be my real dad.
I will cut your payment.
You wont get any money, rascal.
Princess, is this how...
- One speaks to his father?
Is this what you want to say?
I only had 1.5 dialogues.
You could have spared that.
This is the caste
and the religion of a lover.
Lover.
How can spare that?
I will throw this sword and kill him.
Where is my lover.
I want to see her.
Guard, go.
Get Anarkali and bring her
to the emperor.
Listen.
- Everyone be careful.
Beautiful.
Fresh.
Soft.
Very colorful.
Anarkali needs to be produced
before the emperor.
Go.
He is spoiling everything.
You have dyed your hair.
Shut up.
My prince.
My love.
I am your...
- Anarkali.
Juhikali.
Sheku!
Stay within your limits.
I think a lover failed
in his love again.
Sheku!
You cannot love Anarkali
when I am here.
Fine. You may.
Wow.
Akku.
- Sheku.
What, Sheku? Sheku?
Should I listen to you
or care about myself?
Punish her and get rid of her.
Anarkali needs to be
buried in the wall.
Which wall?
Bathroom wall or kitchen wall?
Mine.
- Akku!
Sheku!
You have watched my play
40 times in four months.
Dont you feel bored?
I come to see you.
Not the play.
If you have a plan,
then I wont come from tomorrow.
How can you stop coming?
You will have to come.
- Is it?
By the way, I was thinking of
acting with you in your play.
It will be fun, right?
You are my inspiration.
Why do you need to act?
You have got an answer
to everything. Right?
For you.
- Oh.
Sir, order please.
Dear, its a restaurant
not the court.
You find lovers here not criminals.
Not order.
Take a request for a coffee.
Sir, hot?
Dont add oil to a burning fire?
Get cold coffee.
Okay, sir. Thank you.
- Hmm.
I have got a gift for you.
Show me.
Nice choice.
Not bad.
And for whom is that for?
I have got that for my wife.
- Is it?
Gift for both of us.
- Yes, this is loyalty.
So, that you have less feeling
of guilt.
So, that there is no guilty
feeling at all.
Is it?
Yes, she doesnt even realize
that she had forgotten..
..her husband while
she was busy doing social service.
Jagan,
I think you are getting naughty.
You never give me a chance, hottie.
Come on.
Okay, I am giving you a chance.
Thank you so much, darling.
Look at this.
Please wear this.
What is this?
This is see through.
The new ideas of husbands nowadays.
Do you accept it?
Gagan.
Have you lost your mind?
Yes.
What is there to wear in this?
There is a lot to watch.
Once a week it is a must.
What about Gagan Kapurs lust?
I am not in the mood.
You are not in the mood?
Should I have a new affair?
Go ahead.
Huh?
Be careful.
You are allowing
something you might regret.
By the way, doesnt you husband
get you night suits too?
He gets saris, which I dont wear.
Where did you find such a man?
I always wanted to be married.
So, I received his alliance
when I was in college.
My parents said that
he is a policeman.
You will be happy.
So, I got married.
I thought he will be a sexy cop. Hot.
Then?
Forget sexy.
Even my elder uncle looks
younger than him.
Bindu. This is your surprise.
So, this is your surprise?
You have got me here to see graves.
Not graves, Bindu.
There are mausoleums.
And these dont belong to lay people.
These are royal mausoleums.
This is Feroz Shahs mausoleum.
He was buried here.
You know he got his mausoleum
built before his death.
I dont like this.
Why?
Even I am elder to you.
Gagan.
You are different.
Why? Do I have horns?
Shh. Dont joke.
I like talking to you a lot.
I like spending time with you.
I feel very energetic with you.
How long will you continue
watching the play?
Will you ever complete
that screenplay?
Is it?
- Yes.
Sir, your bill.
Rascal, meet me outside.
- Sorry, sir. Sorry.
Sir, please listen.
No. No.
Bro.
This is too much.
Nothing is going good.
- Rajiv sir. What should I get?
Get me some poison.
Why are you joking? Tell me.
What should I get?
You have noodles, right?
Get some noodles and feed me.
Okay. Anything to drink?
No, just get me some plain water.
No more plain water for you.
- Why?
Because from now I will
serve you Pavitra water.
From your company.
I got it from Sameer sir, yesterday.
Bunty.
- Yes.
Tell me, something.
How much those your noodles cost?
Sir, 40 rupees. But what happened?
And how many do I eat in a month?
Around 20. But what happened?
So how many do I eat in a month.
240. But what happened?
Your noodles cost 40 rupees and I have eaten 240 plates.
Then how much have paid you?
Sir, 9,600. But what happened?
Rascal, if I made you earn 9,600..
..cant you make me earn 8,000?
Couldnt you buy the purifier from me?
Sir, calm down.
I will get a cold drink.
I dont want a cold drink. Get lost.
Sir. Sir, dont get angry. Dont be cross.
Dont be cross?
I am not cross.
I will get it uninstalled.
I will get it uninstalled.
Uninstall it.
Sir, leave it.
- Okay, stop.
Sir, Sameer forced us...
- Once it gets spoiled..
..then buy the new one from me.
I will get it from you. But Sameer
forced me to buy it in half the price.
What can I do?
Today complimentary noodles for you.
Please, sir.
Prepare noodles for sir.
Hello.
Hi.
You look like a salesman.
You are a good observer.
Do you know Manchanda?
No, sir. I havent got his number yet.
Meet him quickly.
He will make you confident
over the phone.
Manchanda is someone
who can point you to your success.
Hail Mother Goddess.
Hail Father God.
Friends,
I dont get rid of your co-wives.
Neither do I teach you to
forget your old love.
I am neither a specialist
in hypnotism.
I am also not a gold medalist
of black magic, etc.
But that thing called money.
What is it called?
Money.
Damn.
You will get more if you shout louder.
Money!
- Good. Good.
Sir, what will a person with
low confidence do here?
Damn.
The one who has lost confidence
finds Manchanda.
Who loses it?
A person who is betrayed in love.
The one who gets scolded
from the boss..
..and receives an ultimatum.
You also lose it if your friend
takes over your business.
At this the face of a person
looks like rolled out pastry.
Sir, why are we talking about pastry?
Damn.
Look around you.
Look at yourself.
You are pastry.
Rolled and misshapen.
Look. Look.
The way one cannot be
Gandhi just by wearing a Dhoti.
The one dancing to Chikni Chameli
doesnt become Katrina.
In the same way, a person
cannot become a salesman..
..by just wearing formal
western clothes.
Hey red headed, purple shirt.
Come here.
Come here.
Wait here. Come here.
I can recognize unsuccessful eyes
from afar.
You need it a lot, son.
Do one thing.
Meet me alone.
Okay?
Do you understand me?
What is that?
Smile.
Thats it.
It is very important to wear a smile.
Whether you wear a tie or not.
You need wear your smile.
Start applying everything
that I am telling you immediately.
Are you smiling or crying?
That is how my face is like?
Change it.
- My face?
No.
Smile.
Ramsays pretty ghost.
Correct your lips.
Mosquito.
Thats it.
Hold it. Hold it.
Just like this. Sweet and innocent.
Enchant everyone.
Just enchant everyone.
How, sir?
I havent sold a single purifier.
What is written here?
Ship?
Relationship.
Have you forgotten, crazy guy?
Call the ignorant, intelligent.
Call the fools, wise. The wisest.
Yes.
Start complimenting
as soon as you see them.
Nice shirt.
Nice shoes.
Nice bag.
Nice hair.
Uncle, grandpa, grand dad.
Everything.
If she is a girl then say, sister.
Once you have established
a relationship..
..your product will get sold.
I can never form relationships, sir.
Even Punam has broken up with me.
You are in love.
Do you have her pic or deleted it?
So nice.
Looks like a brand.
What was the last thing she asked for?
- Me?
Why will you ask?
What did she ask for?
Sandals from Zara.
Thats it.
Become a greater Zara than Zara.
Then watch. The girl will be yours.
The sandal will be yours.
And Zara will be yours too.
You mean I can get Punam?
Punam?
Alia, Padukone.
Even Anushka.
They were right.
If someone holds your finger,
just hold on to his shoulder.
Correct.
Act smart.
Dont be over smart.
Too much will create obstacles.
Just use the butter you can eat.
Dont use more butter than required.
Got it?
Tell me, how much money do you have?
Sir, you are just like God.
No. No. I am not God.
I am a retired salesman.
Always a salesman.
Sir, you said you will
also give me a client tip.
I just gave you my last 5000.
Here.
Bela Gagan Kapoor.
They dont have a purifier.
They served me water
in bottles last time.
She had a brother.
He has left now.
Where did he go?
He just went on and on.
So, whenever you call them up
or go to their home..
..what will you call yourself?
Gappu.
- Correct.
But sir, I am going to sell
the first purifier of my life.
And I am starting with a lie.
You have caused
a huge problem for me.
Hello, great soul.
Have us seen the 67th episode
of the Mahabharata?
No.
- What does Arjuna tell Krishna?
They are all my cousins and uncles.
How do I kill them?
What did Krishna say?
Just do your work.
Separate work from religion.
This is where you will do your duty.
You will have to do your duty.
Sir, from now I wont sell a purifier
to any of my customers.
Why?
- Sir, I will sell..
..purifiers to my relatives.
I will sell purifiers
to the entire world.
The entire world will
only have my purifiers.
I will make my own mark.
The entire world will have my mark.
Hail the man with the mark.
Hello.
You are a salesman.
Dont become a soldier.
Trying to make marks.
Sir, you dont know
what you have done to me.
You have just recharged me
with energy.
Currently my body is engulfed
with energy.
Look at my arm.
I have got goosebumps.
I have got goosebumps on my legs.
I have got...
- Enough. Enough. Enough.
Enough. Enough. Enough.
It is not good, to become naked
without any reason.
Call, Bela. Gappu, call Bela.
Come on. Hurry. Call Bela.
Tea.
- Very good. Very good.
Have you added lemon?
- Yes.
Have you added honey?
- Yes, I have.
Cinnamon.
- I have added that too.
Good morning, maam.
Sorry sister. Is this Ms. Bela?
Yes, this is Bela. Who are you?
This is Rajiv,
from Pavitra Pani Purifier.
Mr. Manchanda had given me
your reference.
You need a purifier at home, right?
We do need a purifier.
But actually the water supply
here emits hard water.
Sister, the water of the world
has become hard now.
Then make a purifier
for the entire world.
The purifier is ready, sister.
It just needs to get installed.
You talk nicely. What is your name?
My name is Rajiv.
But my pet name is Gappu.
Sister. Hello?
Sister, are you there?
Nothing.
Even I had a brother, Gappu.
He passed away.
Oh, I am so sorry, sister.
Thats why
when I was talking to you..
..I felt like I was talking
to my sister.
Listen, come on Monday
and install the purifier.
Sister, I have some personal
problem on Monday.
Sister, I will be frank with you.
Actually, my boss has given me
a deadline till Friday.
I need to sell and
install a purifier.
So, if I dont install it,
I will lose my job.
I have a meeting
at the Ngo tomorrow.
And even my husband
wont be at home.
And I am going to Shimla
the next day.
Oh, so sister, what should we do now?
Okay listen.
Come the day after tomorrow.
On Friday.
I wont be there.
But my husband will be home.
Tell him, that I have sent you.
And you can come
and install the purifier.
Perfect, sister.
That is great.
Tell brother-in-law,
that Gappu will come..
..and install the purifier.
I will go and fit
everything well, sister.
And once you are back,
I want to meet you, sister.
And I want you to tie me
a Rakhi this time.
For sure.
- Okay, Rajiv.
Sis, I am Rajiv for strangers.
You can call me Gappu.
And your brother will fight
with the world for you.
Dont worry.
And sis, you are going to Shimla.
It is very cold there.
Take warm covers.
Be careful of the cold.
You take care
and have a great journey, sis.
All the best.
Okay, Gappu. Thank you.
Bye, sis. Bye.
Hello. Hey. Where are you going?
Tomorrow our NGO
has a medical camp in Shimla.
I need to leave in the morning.
You dont even tell me.
We are not able to give time
to each other nowadays.
For us to discuss anything.
Go to sleep. Good night.
Oh no.
I need to wake up early
in the morning.
Wow! Blue color T-shirt.
What a nice color.
I mean it is my favorite color.
Forget me. Even my sisters
favorite color is blue.
And even you are like my sister.
Bro. Bro. Bro. Bro. Bro.
You remember that you need
to pay rent in 2 days?
Sandi, dont bother me.
Today is Friday.
If I dont sell a purifier today
I will get sacked.
And lose Punam too.
You lost Punam?
Why havent you told me?
Lets get some beer. Party.
We will have fun.
Are you mad?
Have you lost your mind?
Anyway, you dont deserve Punam.
You used to go around
with a babe, bro.
And we used to face
the inconvenience.
My hands would...
I mean my heart used to be in pain.
Listen. She is your sister-in-law.
Hey!
Hey!
Hello, sir.
A very sweet good morning.
No need to be so sweet. Speak.
Sir, firstly this shirt is very nice.
It looks so good on you.
You look very young and smart.
Really?
- Yes, sir.
Sir, you look like a
very successful businessman.
Is it?
And I wanted to tell you that
I am going to install..
..a purifier today.
Yes.
Make sure you do.
You have got one day left.
Nothing is impossible.
If you believe in yourself,
then purifier is nothing.
If Bhagirath can bring Ganga
from heaven..
..then cant Rajiv Chabbra
sell purifiers?
You have become very wise
in a single day.
Have you got along with
any religious men?
No, sir. This is enlightenment.
Okay, sir. I will take your leave.
And I will come back with the check.
Yes, make sure you get the check.
Otherwise the enlightenment
will get extinguished.
Dont worry about it, sir.
You have a very nice day.
And I will see you in the evening.
Sir, can I get you coffee?
Bhaskar. Get a milk coffee for sir.
See you, sir.
What just happened?
What happened?
You look very happy.
It is necessary to wear a smile.
Even if you dont wear a tie or not.
What?
- Good day.
What is wrong with him?
Take care of yourself.
I will come tomorrow.
Are you sure that you will
only come tomorrow?
What do you mean?
I mean, take your own time darling.
And if you get a hiccup,
then its me who is missing you.
So cute.
Listen, take care of the house.
And rehearse well for the show.
I will rehearse like
I have never done before.
Bye.
- Bye.
You go. And she will come.
She will come. And we will do it.
Sunny.
Come to C42 in Greater Kailash.
Yes, bro. Dont be late.
I am selling my purifier after a
long time after many hardships.
How romantic.
Dont just watch the maiden
with the beautiful eyes.
Start making love.
Dont think so much.
You talk so interestingly.
- I even do interesting work.
Just allow me.
Gagan, I am thirsty.
Get me some water.
Should I serve you with my eyes.
Or my lips?
If you want I will become a pot
and serve you water.
Wow.
You love me so much?
So much, that there is
water in the ocean.
Love like Romeo. I promise.
Where is the water?
From the sea to the bottle.
Purifier is broken.
Need to have it replaced.
Okay.
Is your thirst quenched?
Yes.
- But not mine.
Gagan, are we doing
something wrong?
One must do such thing when young.
Otherwise what sins will
we repent for when we are old?
All right.
Isnt that good?
Me too.
(bell ringing)
Is it your wife?
She said that she will come
tomorrow not today.
She cant break my trust.
Who is it now?
Hey, two wheeler.
Why are you charging inside?
I have always charges
like this since years.
But you have never stopped me.
But you have come
at the wrong time today.
This is not right.
Sir, I have come at the right time.
Look, its 10 oclock.
- But today is your holiday.
Go and have fun.
- I already had fun yesterday.
So, I wont take a holiday today.
Maam will scold me
if I dont clean up.
I will see to the cleaning.
Sir, I need to water the plants.
- Leave that to me.
Sir, I need to wash clothes.
- Leave that to me.
So, kind?
I am sure there is some secret.
Devils granny.
The royal servant.
What will do I at home now?
Celebrate some festival.
If there was some festival today..
..I would have been decked up.
- Then celebrate Diwali.
If it was Diwali I would
have been a bomb today.
Then celebrate your birthday.
- Thats gone now.
Then celebrate your kids birthday.
- It is around the corner.
Good.
Leave. Leave. Leave. Leave.
Bindu.
The one who had come has left.
But you should come outside.
Bindu.
Bindu.
Come outside.
Bindu.
What is this, Bindu?
Thats my arm.
That is what keeps me together.
And what is this Bindu?
My legs.
They are no strangers.
What is this Bindu.
My waist.
I was looking at that only.
What is this Bindu?
My cheek.
They are just gorgeous.
You are just gorgeous.
If you are done playing
hide and seek then...
(Bell ringing)
Is this your wife?
I told you.
She cant break my trust.
Go and hide.
Hello, sir. I am Honey.
So, shall I lick?
No, sir. My name is Honey.
Then tell me that.
Sir, we are from
the Pulse Polio program.
Do you have any small kid
in your house?
Give me a chance.
And I will have many kids.
Sir, I am already married.
But yes, she is a spinster.
Hey, will you give him a chance.
Oh no. Manoj will feel bad.
Let Manoj feel bad.
And you can get remarried.
And please leave me alone.
Bindu.
Bindu.
Bindu. Come outside.
Bindu.
One cannot make love
by hiding inside the curtains.
To make love you need
a mans chest, strong arms..
..and the heart of a lady.
Bindu.
Bindu, shall I close my eyes?
I cannot look away from your face.
How can I see the scenery?
Hey!
Who are you?
Guess.
Thief?
Not a thief. Stealer of hearts.
Why have you come here?
To wait.
For whom?
For a chance.
Chance?
I dont understand.
Chance to steal.
Meanwhile you are taking full
advantage of your opportunity.
How much have you seen?
Everything.
What do you mean?
Each and every scene.
Me?
She?
In spite of being a thief
you are behaving..
..as if I am the thief
and you are the master.
Have you got any tools?
Only mobile.
Oh yeah.
- Yes.
Shall I call the police?
Of course. Why not?
Call the police.
I think you dont know
much about Delhi police.
They will investigate one
and create files for three.
Take this.
Dial 100.
Maybe besides me
they will find a thief here.
A thug.
A party goer.
A cheat.
And a betrayer.
Everyone will be amazed.
2 free with 1.
Gagan, please.
No police please.
Then call the army.
- Huh?
Call CID Pradyuman Singh.
ACP.
Nothing of that sort will happen.
Everything will happen
as per your wish.
All thieves are brothers.
You are my younger brother.
I am your elder brother.
Elder?
One moment.
How old are you?
Oh.
I am little older.
I am 44.
Oh.
- Oh.
I am the elder.
You are the younger.
Fine. Fine.
Just take whatever you want.
- No.
Just steal whatever you want to.
- Thank you.
Consider this your home.
- Gagan.
Stealing at your own home?
Very bad.
Call the police.
- No. No. No. No.
Why are you listening to her?
Please. Just do your work.
Okay?
- Yes. Go and steal.
Thank you.
- Good luck.
Please, nobody disturb me.
I am proud of you.
Thanks.
- Go.
Gagan.
Hmm.
Hmm.
(Bell ringing)
Hide in the bathroom.
What?
Are you crazy!
What if the thief came?
He is a thief not a plumber
to get inside the bathroom.
But I am scared.
So, am I enjoying here?
Even I am scared.
Gagan.
- Please.
(Bell ringing.)
Coming.
Who are you, bro?
Brother.
- But whose?
Sister Belas brother.
So, I am your brother-in-law.
Belas cousin has already
passed away.
When were you born?
Gappu. Same thing...
- This is not done.
Who are you?
Sorry, you are my brother-in-law.
So, I need to touch your feet.
So, I need to touch your feet.
Have you forgotten where my feet are?
Either you bow down
or I will bring my feet up.
Its a good joke. So funny...
- Its not so funny.
Who are you?
Explain.
Explain.
- Actually, sister Bela called.
She was talking to me.
And then I found out that
your purifier is broken.
So, I said that I will install
a new one.
Anyway, I can never refuse sis Bela.
Bela called you?
Yes.
Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself.
Hi, I am Rajiv Chabbra.
I am calling from..
I mean I am not calling from...
I am from PP Purifier.
And that stands for
Pavitra Pani Purifier.
You know our RO technology
is very modern.
With 20liters of water storage.
Plus 80 liters of water storage
for the bathroom.
Do you know what the best thing
about our water purifiers?
Brother-in-law,
the thing is the lights wont glow..
..if you are not using water.
Because your home is like our home.
Its the same.
By the way, brother-in-law,
what a nice T shirt.
Maroon.
Must be sisters choice.
Hey! Keep your sister safe with you.
otherwise I will hang you
with your tie from the terrace.
And people will ring your bell.
What are you staring at?
Your phone is ringing.
It might be Bela.
Yes Sunny, where are you?
I told you to come to
greater Kailash.
Why are you in Kailashdham?
Are you mad?
I sent you the location.
Hey.
- I will pay the extra. Hurry up now.
Whom are you calling
without asking me?
It is Sunny, brother-in-law.
He drills holes.
What brother-in-law...
- One moment.
Brother-in-law ship is a very
two faced relationship.
Like head and tails.
Anil Kapoor and Mr. India.
Modi and his friends.
All are the same.
Hey you stupid moron.
Unwanted insect.
Are you leaving,
or shall I throw you out?
Brother-in-law!
How?
How? I mean how do you do that?
- But what do I do?
You are insulting me better than..
..anyone has ever praised me.
How can you be happy with insults?
Skinless hippo.
Courtyard without a terrace.
If you use your sales tactics
anymore..
..that I will punch you so hard..
..that you will break down
into your primary elements.
Get out from here. Get out.
Get out.
The world is wrong.
The wifes brother is more than
the entire creation.
You are not letting me do
what I want to.
I had already filled the form.
I was about to sign it when
you came in with your face.
No. No. No. No. No.
Not my nose. I have a cold.
Hey. You dont have cold.
Hey!
You havent even moved your mouth.
Where did the sound come from?
God bless you.
Thank you.
I think you care cleaning up.
Full clean.
- Why do you care what is going on?
Get out from here. Leave.
Brother-in-law, this is wrong.
How can you insult me
in front of a servant?
You trespasser. Unwanted creep.
I have been insulting
since you have come.
And you have understood it now.
You...
You can resume your work.
Am I disturbing you?
Please do it.
Come on. Get out.
I cant understand
how can my sweet sister..
..have such a cruel husband?
If you cant understand, then dont.
Brother-in-law,
you are just talking like my papa.
This is how my papa used to
speak to my mom.
He used to scold her so much.
Hey!
Brother-in-law, sis is home
and you havent even told me.
Sister. Sis!
By the way, Brother-in-law.
How can you be so romantic
so early in the morning?
The way your dad used to.
You are just like a boiled egg.
Hard from the outside.
Soft from the inside.
And even softer
when we delve deeper inside.
And you are like omelet
which is stuck on all sides.
There is only some yolk
in the middle.
You are so funny, Brother-in-law.
It is not so funny.
I am very happy today
that my sister..
..is in such a safe and secure
environment.
I mean, thank god,
that you are not like my papa.
Your papa lost his control
and gave birth to this problem.
I will never...
Sister!
Sister! You are inside?
Hey. Why are you going inside?
You...
- Sister!
Bull shit.
Sister, open the door. Sister.
- Open. Open. Open.
Gagan.
- What?
There is a rat.
You were so scared that I thought..
..it was a rapist and not a rat.
Hello sister Bela.
Who is this?
Sis, I am Gappu.
I spoke to you over the phone.
How did you know that she is Bela?
You have never met her before.
Obviously, she is hugging you,
so she is bound to be Bela.
Huh? Yes.
Sis, greetings.
I wanted to thank you.
Everything has turned good,
because of you.
You are so nice and so good.
She has saved my job.
But you had left for Shimla.
Why are you back suddenly?
Gagan explain.
Yes, she left.
But then she missed me.
She returned.
Mind your own business.
Why do you care?
Thats cool. One moment.
Yes, Sunny.
Where are you?
What is this?
- She thinks you are Bela.
So, continue with the charade.
Otherwise there will be a problem.
What is this nonsense? I am leaving.
People are all thirsty here.
Come fast, Sunny.
Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait.
- Hey. What are you doing?
This is not done.
- Sis, what happened? Any problem?
No, brother, there is no problem.
Go and install the purifier.
No. No. No. No. Big problem.
Hello, leave that place.
Brother-in-law, I need to install
the purifier today.
Please go home.
- I have spoken to sister.
What is he doing?
- That I will install the purifier.
Dont touch me.
He will install it and leave.
How can he do that? You are asking
him to install the purifier.
If he stays back to install
the purifier what will we install?
He is going to install the purifier?
You called him inside.
And now you are shouting at me.
Dont behave like my husband.
What?
- Hey! Husband! Sis... What...
I am her husband.
How is this your business?
Get out.
But why are you fighting
with me in front of him?
You are fighting with me
in front of him.
Hey! Why are you both
fighting in front of me?
Why do you care?
This is my house.
My wife.
I can do whatever I want to.
Stop. Get out.
My sister wont go anywhere.
Brother-in-law, you are behaving..
..like my papa.
- Papa?
Even my papa used to talk
like this to my mom.
Mom?
You are too much.
I am going to teach you a lesson now.
I cannot see my mom in trouble.
Hey! That is a sharp one.
It might wound someone.
Dad!
- Mom!
Stop!
What is going on?
Look at him?
Who hits a person like him?
Should I give him the knife instead?
I will get you now.
- Hey.
I will get you now.
- He is mad.
What are you doing?
Hey. Hey. Hey.
You cannot do this.
Brother. Brother. Brother. Brother.
Let him go.
He is your Brother-in-law.
Sorry.
Sorry, sister.
Sister, I am really sorry.
I dont know what had
happened to me.
That all right.
Everything will be fine now.
Once Pavitra Pani is installed
in this house..
..everything will get fine anyway.
This is all psychological.
This is not emotional.
I mean...
- Brother, it is something else.
You dont understand.
- He wont understand either.
Pavitra Pani! Get out of here.
Otherwise I will stab you so hard
that you will die for sure.
Hey you.
- What?
Get out.
Bindu. Get out.
- Bindu or Bela?
Shut up.
How does that matter?
I will call her whatever I want to.
I address her as Bindu.
How does that matter to you?
This is the problem.
If you address sister with
new names..
..then I am bound to face problems.
That is the case.
What the hell do you have to
do here?
Get out.
Hey! Get out.
Otherwise I will kill you.
- Kill me.
Kill me. Kill me. Finish me off.
I am becoming crazy.
I cannot see my sisters home
getting broken.
I can even die for my sister.
Kill me.
Kill me. Kill me.
- No.
Do you know how he will die?
- No.
Like this?
Or like this?
Excuse me.
I have done my job.
There is a lot of stuff in the house
and I need a tempo.
Please, someone help me.
What is this?
This is a water purifier.
Mine is broken.
Take it with you.
Very good.
What is going on, sir?
I mean, what is going on?
Brother-in-law, who is this man?
Is he a cleaner or a thief?
How can you just take it?
It is not your rule.
How can you take it?
Shut up. Bull shit.
Just shut up.
Why are you disturbing when
2 great thieves are compromising?
What did you say?
Who is she to you?
Sister.
Sister.
What is your plan?
- No, please.
Shall I tell him that you both
belong to other people?
Hey!
He is just an innocent child.
He doesnt even understand
what the situation is.
You can understand
the situation well.
So, just take this entire file.
And fire away.
My God.
- Sit. Sit.
First tell me, who are you?
I am Birju Kalia, corporate thief.
I dont hide and steal.
Thats why I am not scared
of the home owners.
Brother-in-law, your pride is dead.
Yours is alive?
- Yes.
Then you kill him.
- What are you doing?
He is cracked.
How can you give him orders?
Crack!
Thief!
(unintelligible abuses)
Let me go.
Not my pant.
What are you doing? Let him go.
What are you doing?
Let go of my hand.
Let go of my hand.
Let go of my hand.
Let go of my hand.
Thief, let go of my hand.
You.
Hands up!
- Sorry.
Hands up!
- Hey.
Hands up!
Shut up.
Hands up!
Go ahead. Take this.
This...
It is fake.
Cheating.
I surrender.
We will print your calendar.
Oh God!
Has he fainted or is he dead?
You get sentenced for 14 years
and break rocks too.
Shut up.
Check his breathing.
I dont think he is breathing.
Give him mouth to mouth.
What are you saying?
Did you notice his mouth?
He chews tobacco.
Sister, you do it.
What nonsense.
Dont you love Bindu?
Bindu or Bela?
If you dont mind, can you?
Gagan!
- One moment. Stop fighting.
Sis, only for you.
(Bell ringing)
Who has come?
I will go and check.
- Sir.
We need to take care of him too.
I havent done all this before.
- You think I have graduated in this?
Lift him.
Stay here.
I will go and check outside.
What?
You took so much time
to open the door.
This is a door, not your zipper.
You dont just unzip it in a go.
What do you want?
Sir, I think you were doing
something important.
Yes.
I had caught a dacoit.
I was taking care of his corpse.
Good joke, sir.
This courier is for Ms. Bela Kapur.
Can you call her?
She has gone outside. Give.
Sir, I know a lot about you.
Is it?
- Yes.
Are you some scholar?
I have seen your play
which you have enacted 150 times.
Fine.
Can I take a selfie with you?
Not now. Later.
Please.
- Okay, fine.
No pout, please.
Please.
- Nice idea.
No look, sir.
Hey.
Can you see that golden crow?
I have only seen black crows.
Scat!
Who was it?
- Courier.
Brother-in-law, who is this?
Since you have asked me.
So, take it.
This is my wife.
Puja.
Then who is she?
No, this is my first wife.
I met her a few days back.
But where is she?
Have you ever gone to the Kumbh fair?
No, but I have heard that
people often get lost there.
I also lost Puja at the Kumbh fair.
So, didnt you look for her?
A lot.
But I couldnt find Puja.
Thats why you call sister Bela
with different girl names.
Yes.
And this is how sister Bela
entered your life.
Brother-in-law.
- Hmm.
Brother-in-law.
- What?
I was thinking of getting in
with someone after Punam.
Go ahead but leave me alone.
Sister Bela and you.
Please shake hands.
Shake hands.
Hold each others hands.
Now hug each other.
Please, do.
Hug.
Gagan.
Hey you.
Smoking in front of the hospital?
My wife is sick. She is inside.
What happened to her?
Female disease.
Female disease.
It is so expensive...
- How much is this cigarette for?
10 rupees.
- 10 rupees!
And how many more do you have?
One more.
- You have got money to die.
But you dont have money to save
your wife from death.
What nonsense?
Look. It says it causes death.
And this sanitary pad gives life.
Dont laugh.
Price of two cigarettes get
you these sanitary pads..
..which could have saved
your wife from this dreadful..
..disease that is caused
because of using..
..dirty clothes during menstruation.
And if you dont smoke
you can also save yourself..
..from dangerous diseases.
That means you can buy
two lives with the money..
..you have been buying death with.
One for you
and another for your wife.
Think about it and smile.
Heroism is not in smoking.
It is in giving this.
Gagan!
Sister!
Brother-in-law,
sister is back from the fair.
What fair?
Kumbh Fair.
Shut up.
Gagan, who is this girl?
Who are you?
Shall I tell her?
- No. Please.
I will explain.
You came.
And you saw us both stuck together.
So, you thought that this is it...
Hmm.
And not it is proven.
No wife can see her husband
in another ladys arms.
This is no betrayal. This is just
an optical illusion, lady.
Forget it.
I asked you, who is this girl.
Good question.
Wow!
(Sanskrit)
What do you mean?
I mean even god doesnt
know the character..
..of a lady and the fate of a man.
Then how will human know?
I am asking you, who is this girl.
Her.
She is someones daughter.
Someones future daughter-in-law.
And...
She is a sister.
- Hey!
Who is this girl?
Her.
She is his wife.
Why dont you speak?
I am speechless.
No, you have to give a big speech.
She is your wife.
What will he say?
I will tell you.
He doesnt tell anything
since we have got married.
Look at him moving away.
Bela, everything was good
while we were having an affair.
After that, I dont know
what has happened.
I dont know where he is lost.
You know, he gets milk,
when I ask him for juice.
He gets curd
when I ask him to get milk.
And he gets Paneer
when I ask him to get curd.
I dont know anything.
Tell me,
what should I do now, sister?
Hello, who are you?
Hmm.
- Tell her.
Greetings, sister.
Sister, I am from PP purifier.
To install a purifier.
We spoke over the phone.
Gappu.
Yes. Okay, you are Gappu.
You have come to install
the purifier.
Why is your wife here?
Why?
Why did she come?
Why did she come?
- Because he was not coming.
Why were you not coming?
Why should I come?
You know she fights with me a lot.
Sis, she had not even
given me breakfast.
Why dont you serve him breakfast?
He has become so thin.
I was angry with him.
Why do you make her angry?
Shall I tell you all my home truths?
She came along.
You tell me. You had called her up.
Me?
- Gagan. Did you call his wife?
He had come to install the purifier.
So I said, no, get out.
But Bela told me to come.
His name is Gappu.
I became emotional.
You know how actors are like.
You are emotional.
I said, if you are here to that.
Wow.
Gagan.
- Yes.
He came to install the purifier.
Why did you call his wife?
He was quarreling with her
over the phone.
Shall I go do my job or
stay at home with you?
So, I said that you are married.
You need to do your duty.
Like me.
What is this?
And she was calling him repeatedly.
Come home. Come home. Come home.
Hey! Why were you calling him?
Because it is our anniversary today.
But even today he left me alone
and came to work.
Sit.
Who does this, sister?
I am so sorry. I am so sorry.
Is it your anniversary?
Happy wedding anniversary.
So sorry.
Its your anniversary
and he had to come here.
But for whom does a husband earn?
For his wife, right?
And dont be angry with him.
Dont make him angry either.
What?
Nothing at all.
You are correct.
Another thing.
Why were you hugging her?
Bela.
You are suspicious of your Gagan.
Suspicion is a termite
which eats up a body, mind..
..and the entire family.
Gagan, I am sorry.
I am so sorry.
Please forgive me.
I suspected you. But...
It is not your mistake.
The wives who love their husbands
a lot are suspicious.
And I will never forget your love.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
But you had left for Shimla.
How come you are back home?
Oh. I was driving the car
and talking over the phone.
An auto came in front of me.
While trying to save him,
I crashed into a tempo.
He is waiting for me.
I need to take
my driving license and RC.
You had an accident.
Are you hurt?
No, I am fine.
I am fine.
Please help me.
Look here. I will find inside.
Okay.
- Gappu. Bindu. Just feel at home.
Brother-in-law.
- What?
Brother-in-law, I am ashamed
to call you Brother-in-law.
How can you do this?
How can you ruin my sister?
You are a big cheat.
You cannot even be honest and...
- Shh.
Gagan. Gagan.
- Yes.
I need to leave. It is so late.
What will my husband think?
- Husband?
You are married?
You are married?
What is happening here?
What is the angle?
- This is not an angle.
This is a love triangle.
How will you understand
if you dont grow up?
What is going on?
Instead of watching all this
I could go to Himachal.
Okay, I will drop you.
I dont care who wants to go where.
I am going home.
How can you go?
What will I tell her,
when she will return?
Let her leave,
after that you can leave too.
I will tell Bela everything.
- Hey.
Where should I go?
Where should I go?
- Bathroom.
Then go over me.
How do you do all this?
How can I not do it?
Have you seen the 67th episode
of the Mahabharata?
You have seen it too?
- Everyone has seen it.
She is your sister Bela.
Sister Bela.
I will buy 5 purifiers from you.
But dont destroy your sister
Belas home.
Brother-in-law,
you have messed up four lives.
(Bell ringing)
I dont know who has come now.
Please go and see.
My love. I have come.
Forget it.
Are you doing a favor on me?
Then why did you call me?
You were 45 minutes late.
You are always on time for Sameer.
Dont be angry.
Looks like a well-to-do client.
We will just do our work quietly,
drill in and leave.
They are rich people.
They might feel bad.
Go.
Sunny, this is my Brother-in-law.
And this is my sister.
Brother-in-law and sister.
Brother-in-law,
this is Sunny, my drilling friend.
You know we have the same terrace.
And he drills for
all the purifiers we install.
Dont laugh.
We need to install 5 purifiers here.
Brother-in-law, please confirm.
- Why 5. I will get 15.
Not only in Belas office.
I will also have them
installed at her NGO.
Hey. You were from Himachal.
You had small dreams. Small needs.
Now you have a small friend.
What other small things do you have?
Now, I am Delhi.
Here they are big flats.
Big houses.
Big loaves of bread.
Just think what my wife will do to
you once she comes out.
Who is it?
This small man has come to
drill the walls.
Go and find the license.
I am looking for them here.
The drilling man is here.
Brother Gappu.
- Gappu?
Install the purifier now.
And then you should go out
with your lovely wife.
After all it is your anniversary
today.
So, celebrate it.
Watch movies.
Huh?
I will get it installed in 2 minutes.
- Listen, sister.
Come on. Come inside.
Work fast. Get the equipment out.
What happened, Sunny?
What happened, Sunny?
You didnt even tell me about
what has happened.
Your sister and Brother-in-law
are so rich.
Shut up, Sunny.
Just shut up.
Sunny, we will sit and talk.
It is a long story.
Why to discuss that now?
The story is bound to be long.
After all you have got married.
You got estranged from me
in two minutes.
What are you saying, Sunny?
You are my brother.
How can I get estranged from you?
And I am telling you. We will sit
and talk everything nicely.
Meanwhile please get
the machine and finish your work.
Please.
Now?
- God.
No. We are doing something
bad and you are blaming God.
You... I need to leave.
- How can you leave?
Bela will become suspicious.
You only think about yourself,
right Gagan?
I am worried about you too.
And in such a moment..
..you should have been with me.
But instead you are
moving away from me.
That innocent Brother-in-law
is better than you.
He is lying for me so much.
And Bindu you?
You are avoiding Gagan.
Gagan.
Gagan.
Why were you hugging her now?
Cant a person hug each other?
After all there is something
called humanity.
Okay tell me,
who is that lady in pink.
She is my sister.
Sister.
And the one in a sari?
She is my elder sister.
Elder sister.
Bro, its the same thing.
This is the confusion.
One minute. One minute. One minute.
Bro. Bro. Bro. Bro, wait.
You are asking me, what is love?
What can I say?
I dont know anything about love.
I am a simple man. Like a cow.
And you are arguing with me.
I said..
..Bela is great.
She can make you understand.
She is Gappus wife.
Bindu.
Your sister and your elder sister.
Then why was your elder sister..
..calling your sister your wife?
Dont screw with my mind.
We have come to work here.
Let us do that.
Get the drill machine and drill.
What are you doing, Sunny?
Please go and check on the purifier.
I will talk to her for some time.
Go.
Bindu.
- Yes.
You can...
You can share your problems with me.
You are doing something wicked, bro.
I will go and ask sister-in-law.
- What? This is just...
Have you come to drill here
or to lie around?
One minute, Gappu.
She is chatting with her.
She might spill the beans.
Go and serve them water.
How can I serve water?
Its your wife and sister.
So, you will be
the one serving water.
Sister-wife.
Mind your business.
I mean I can solve your problem.
There is no problem.
This is personal.
Just do your work.
No, I was saying...
- We are having a drama here.
Why are you messing it up
as a new character?
Dont get into all this.
Just do your work.
Brother-in-law,
the fire you have started outside..
..they wont get extinguished
by this water.
Women are very soft hearted.
Their thirst gets quenched even
with water served with love.
Where do you get such ideas?
From here.
I am feeling very strange.
I suddenly came here in anger.
I dont know what you
and my husband..
..might be thinking about me.
Frankly, Bindu.
When I met you, I felt like
I am meeting my younger sister.
What is it now?
What is it?
Brother-in-law,
actually I wanted to speak to you.
Speak.
Brother-in-law, I was saying
that dont deal with this moron.
He is very inauspicious.
He spreads inauspiciousness
wherever he goes.
I suggest you let him install
only one purifier.
And the rest?
And the rest. This is Sameer.
Buy from him.
He will give them to you
at half the price.
With no tax and GST.
Smart boy.
Blessings.
- Not yet.
You deserve it.
Yes.
Yes.
Sister, have you found your license?
I dont know
where my license is hiding.
I am not able to find it
anywhere else.
Sit with him.
I will find the license.
Yes, Sunny.
Rajiv has made a huge deal here.
What are you saying?
He is installing 5 purifiers
in a single house.
Then what are you doing there?
Bro, I have done my job.
I have given your card to the owner.
Yes.
If you want shall I ruin
the rascals business?
Go ahead.
Do it. Do it. Do it.
Then consider it to be done.
All right. Bye.
I had come to install a purifier.
Now, I am taking care of corpses.
What are you making me do,
Brother-in-law?
Yes. What is going on?
Even I am sacred now.
Do you think
I am a professional killer?
I didnt think. And he died.
Why did you even hit him?
He was done for as it is.
Hello.
We were not having a pillow fight.
Yes, but he died because
you hit him with a mace.
I have heard that if a man
dies before his time..
..then his soul haunts the house.
- Huh!
Ghost!
- Ghost!
You havent died?
I dont die. I am immortal.
Sorry. Come again.
I am immortal.
Brother-in-law, we left him for dead.
How did he become alive?
How can you be alive when you was dead?
No one can kill a person
protected by God.
Just chill.
Gagan.
Who are you?
Guess.
Guess.
My uncle.
He lost it in childhood.
And now he dropped in suddenly.
Greetings, uncle.
Bath with milk. And have lot of kids.
Bath with milk. And have lot of kids.
Thats his style.
She has got a lot of values.
How did you forget your values?
What is left to do?
What uncle?
Humpty Dumpty.
You are his brother-in-law.
And she is your sister.
What are you saying?
I am his wife.
God bless all.
So, what do you do, uncle?
Cleaning homes.
Uncle, how did you get hurt here?
But how did you get hurt?
Daughter-in-law,
as soon as I entered Delhi..
..a few local goons attacked me.
Oh.
And they stole my purse.
They beat me a lot.
I fought back till death.
But he still didnt die.
Still they put me in a coffin.
He came out from there.
Wow! You are so brave.
Yes.
But when did you come?
I came yesterday...
- No, he came today.
He came as soon as you left.
All right. All right.
But I didnt see you anywhere.
Not even us.
How will you see them?
He was getting refreshed
in the guest room.
He just took a bath.
Daughter-in-law, if you now
believe that I am your uncle..
..then may I have some snack?
I am so sorry.
I will get something.
Guys.
You are playing with fire.
You liar.
You liar.
And you upcoming liar.
But God will not admire.
Hello?
I have a fire below.
What to do about it?
Jewelry.
The one inside the bed?
Try it.
I wont allow you to leave.
Daughter-in-law.
There.
Here you are, uncle.
Thank you.
Cheers.
Done.
Okay.
All right, dear.
I will take your leave now.
Uncle, whats the hurry?
Stay with us for a few days.
Talk to us.
Sure.
- No.
He has got a lot of work to do.
- He is too busy.
Come.
Do you have any money?
Gagan.
Please.
- Oh yes.
You lost your purse.
Thank you.
I will return it. Next time.
You are coming again?
Listen.
Get my bags.
Uncle, do visit often.
And do bring aunt along next time.
Dear, actually she is no more
like my wife.
I am so sorry.
No problem.
As soon as I find one,
I will get her.
By the way, what do you do, dear?
I work in an NGO.
Oh.
- I help women.
Very good.
Actually,
even I want to open an NGO.
How much is needed to open an NGO?
I will come again. Soon.
(sings)
Your uncle was nice.
It would have been great
if he had stayed longer.
I can understand your feelings.
Have you found your license and RC?
Oh my. I will forget
my license and RC in all this.
I dont know where are they.
Brother-in-law, I am confused.
Why did you make him your uncle?
Why not some other relation?
The word uncle is very confusing.
Uncle.
Did you get it?
No.
- Even the best couldnt.
You should be awarded globally
for fooling people and lying.
I need a national award first.
This one has left.
Now first get out the bad luck
which has gone inside.
Sunny. What happened?
Oh my.
You could have checked
before opening.
How would I know that you were...
Why havent you drilled in yet?
When will you fit the machine?
I was about to install it but now
I cant find the nuts, etc.
Where are the nuts and bolts?
Are you mad?
Did you check before leaving?
Did you get them?
Sunny, did you get them or not?
Why wont I get them along?
Am I mad?
Then where did they go? On a stroll.
Where are the nuts and bolts?
I mean they are so necessary.
How can they just vanish?
Why are you shouting at me?
- I am bound to shout at you.
I am about to lose my job
and you are messing up.
How can you do that?
Inauspicious!
I am inauspicious?
- What else?
You are inauspicious.
You are like the darkness of night.
You are in Delhi because of me.
I pay the rent too.
How will pay the rent?
How will pay the rent?
If I dont install this purifier
then boss will sack me tomorrow.
I was a fool to call a rascal
like you.
Rascal?
I am a rascal, right?
- What else?
You can install it on your own now.
Go. You can leave. I can manage.
- Yes. Fine.
Hey! You are lying down again.
What is this?
Have you come to install a purifier
or to do body building?
What happened to you?
Brother-in-law, he has not
installed the purifier yet.
Why not?
I am not able to find the bolts,
Brother-in-law.
I told him several times.
I dont why he lose his nuts
and bolts when I need him.
He always places obstacles on my way.
He does nothing.
But he makes me throw parties
of beer and chicken...
I dont want your party.
- Hush.
Harassing a decent man.
I saw your jackal like eyes and
owl-like eyes and understood.
You always spoil things.
And you are giving him work
and he is spoiling your work.
Brother-in-law, I dont understand.
Here. Look at this.
He said, I need to buy one purifier
from you.
And remaining 4 will be installed
by him.
You regard him as family.
And he thinks you are inauspicious.
Sunny, I thought you were my bro.
And you...
Amazing.
Last time I went to Himachal
I got you..
..a Himachali cap.
Why?
Because you are my bro.
Hey.
Remember, you were
suffering from dengue.
You had dengue.
Who gave you blood?
I did. Why?
Because you are my bro.
You are after the 2000 rupees.
I dont know how many parties
I have thrown you in 2 years.
Why?
Because you are my bro.
You are cheating your bro
for your beer and commission.
Sorry, bro.
I am really ashamed.
Sorry.
I made a mistake, bro.
Do you want to go for a movie?
Which one?
The Kung Fu Panda.
Yes, lets go.
- In 3D.
Yes, Sunny. Speak.
Not Sunny. This is your dad.
Got it?
Sunny, have you lost your mind?
Garbage, you are just useless.
Corrupted man.
Commission monger.
In spite of being with
a nice man like Rajiv..
..you still remained
a poisonous snake.
You will die and go directly to hell.
Yamraj will get you beaten a lot.
Got it?
Next time we meet.
Next time.
I will slap you so hard.
Hang up now. Get lost.
Hang up.
Hey.
Okay. Fine. Bye. Bye.
I have got one burden left.
Let me get rid of that.
Bro, hit me.
No, bro. What are you saying?
No, hit me. Bro, hit me.
No, this is enough.
Sunny, this is enough.
Brother-in-law, please hit me.
I wont.
You are a puny man.
If you die, there will be a new case.
Brother-in-law, you are under
the oath of your wife.
Dont do that.
Rascal.
Just watch.
Both of us brothers
will install Pavitra Pani..
..in the entire world.
And from now on,
I wont make any more mess.
I promise.
(bell ringing)
Someone has come to make a mess.
Move.
Bro, go and finish your job.
This is not a house, but a temple.
Everyone is ringing the bell here,
but me.
Brother-in-law,
why are you not opening the door?
Who is it?
What happened, Gagan?
Who has come now?
Your husband has come.
Husband.
What will I do now?
If he asked me what I am...
Brother-in-law, cant we hide her?
- How can you?
He must have seen my bike outside.
He is a policeman. Very suspicious.
Damn, why did I come here
today to install a purifier?
I would have preferred to be sacked.
Sir, you are a genius.
Think of something.
If Bela finds out that
you are not his but mine..
..then I am done for.
And if your husband find out
that you are mine..
..then we are done for.
I am thinking of..
..what to make you now.
- No. No. No. No. No. Brother-in-law.
Brother-in-law,
I have become her fake husband..
..for sister Bela.
But I wont be her fake husband..
..in front of her real husband.
Because if her real husband
found out..
..that I am her fake husband..
..then brother-in-law,
he is a policeman.
He can beat a monkey
till he accepts that he is a bear.
I dont want to be any ones brother,
husband and brother-in-law.
What happened?
Why are you all standing here?
Why arent you opening the door?
Sister, there is a problem.
What problem?
She is not my wife.
If she is not your wife,
then whose wife is she?
She is the wife of the policeman..
..ringing the bell outside.
So, what are you doing with her?
Having an affair.
And Gagan...
I didnt know anything.
I just found out.
I will deal with you later.
And Bindu, you.
How can you do all this
when you already have a husband?
Sister, I cant tell you
how I am living with this man.
How can he giggle
at every little thing?
Sister, I am much
younger to me age wise.
He is very happy about it.
But...
I am not happy at all.
When we go out in the morning..
..people call us father
and daughter.
They look at us funnily.
Taunt us.
Do you think I like that?
Maybe that creates
no difference to him.
But it creates difference to me.
I feel bad.
I never imagined that
my husband would be like this.
I want a man, whom I can love.
I couldnt love him,
even though I wanted to.
And then...
Then I found him.
And I fell in love with him.
Bindu, there is a huge age
difference between you two.
I can understand.
You think the rest is wrong.
And look.
Instead of rectifying one mistake
you committed another.
Bela, no matter what happened.
Now save this poor girls marriage.
Please.
And later..
..you can punish him.
You?
What is going on here?
- What nonsense!
What is happening here?
Sir, look madam...
- Shut up.
Ladies first.
- Okay.
Yes, madam. What is the matter.
Sir, he crossed
without the indicator.
While trying to save him
my car bumped in a bit.
And now he is threatening me
that I need to pay him.
Hey. Take him away
and tell him a joke.
Yes, come on.
Yes, madam.
Show me your license.
Sir, I think I have left
my license at home.
I am a social worker.
I am going to Shimla for my NGO.
It is very important, sir.
Do one thing.
Get the papers and take the car.
You forgot your phone in the car.
Oh yes. And when it rang,
I could hear the Gayatri Mantra.
And then I understood that
I am disturbing a Gods devotee.
For the license.
I am still looking for the license.
You will have to find it
and bring it to the police station.
I cannot make any settlement here.
As they say.
Honesty is the best police.
Madam,
I am confused about one thing.
What?
- The bike here.
My wife has the same colored bike.
And even the license is the same.
Bindu is your wife?
Yes, of course. She is my wife.
She praises you a lot.
- Is it?
Come on. She is inside.
Have some tea. Come on.
Oh no.
Not tea.
I will come in,
only if you serve me green tea.
Sure. Please come.
- All right.
Bindu.
Good to see you.
- Come.
But what are you doing here?
I am Gagan Kapoor.
Oh yes. Gagan Kapoor.
I saw you name in the nameplate.
Are you Punjabi?
No, I am Bengali.
I am a real Punjabi.
Who is this kid?
I didnt see your name
on the nameplate outside.
He is my brother-in-law.
Her brother.
Your brother.
But they look similar.
- Huh?
Even I asked the same question
at my wedding.
Happens. Happens. It happens.
Even my dad doesnt
look like his brother.
But they are still brothers.
- Yes.
Anil Kapoor. Boney Kapoor.
Do they resemble?
No.
But they are still brothers.
Quiet.
Ms. Bela.
I havent received the green tea yet.
Meanwhile have some water.
Strange boy.
He roams around with water.
Nowadays, anyone
might visit at any time.
He is smart. A Punjabi boy.
Get some green tea.
Excuse me.
You were supposed to go to Shimla.
Then what are you doing here?
They perform veneration
rituals together.
She was coming here today.
And suddenly she left for Shimla.
She came as soon as she left.
She came as she was leaving.
And now they were about to leave
together when you came.
By the way, you are an amazing man.
No.
I am not an amazing man.
I belong to Bindu.
That is too much.
You are a very interesting man.
He starts taking interest
in everything.
What kind of service
are you busy with?
Theater.
Is it?
- Yes.
I act on stage.
Theater?
- Oh yes.
Do you perform in theater
with everyone or alone?
I start with everyone.
And then I advance alone.
Even I used to do drama.
- What?
Oh yes. And I used to play
a policeman in the drama.
Honest policeman.
So, people saw and said that
you are required outside more.
Than inside.
Go outside.
So, I came outside.
I came to Delhi and became
a policeman. Look.
You are just like a tunnel.
I mean you are just
opening up a lot.
Are you the one who brings Paneer..
..when he is asked to get milk?
I am the one who gets Kheer
when asked for milk.
By the way,
were you always like this?
Or have you done some course?
- Oh no. No courses.
This is the experience of life.
- Oh.
See, life is like a bubble.
You can either live sadly
or happily.
Joyfully.
So, I thought to live it happily.
So, I live happily.
Sir, it is a good thing
that you are always happy.
But if something sad happens?
Just think, will you be happy..
..if Bindu leaves you?
That...
Madam.
You have asked
a very hard question.
If Bindu leaves me,..
..I will be very sad.
But..
..the biggest thing is that..
..she has still accepted me.
Look at me.
I am a below average man.
I have a normal face
with a normal job.
I dont look good.
I have got a paunch.
I know, I am not fit for her.
A smart..
..and handsome man
like you is fit for her.
But..
..its been 6 years.
She has not left me.
I love you.
I love you.
I am sorry.
Sorry?
Sorry, for what?
Just like that.
I am sorry.
What are you doing?
Dont cry crazy girl.
Otherwise, I will start crying too.
Bro, what is going on now?
Your wife is hugging whom?
She is hugging the right man.
If you try to mess thing up
I will teach you a lesson.
Got it?
Gagan.
Actually,
I want to say sorry to you too.
While serving the society I forgot..
..that I need to serve
my husband too.
I dont even give you time to talk.
In spite of all this you still
love me like before.
I am really sorry.
Lets go home.
I am sorry,
if I have made any mistake.
What are you saying?
Bindu, I am just a stage actor.
He is the real hero.
Take care.
If a wife has such a husband..
..then her having
extra marital affair...
Never spoils someones
relationship with your foolishness.
And if you ever feel like,
then do remember this slap.
You can never advance
in life by telling lies..
..and forming false ties.
And stop calling yourself Gappu.
You cannot be Gappu.
Gappu.
Bro.
You have been the real kinsman.
There is an old saying.
Sometimes the weak helps the strong.
The way you helped me today.
Bela is angry with you.
But I am the reason for that anger.
If you ever need anything in life..
..then my doors are
always open for you.
Come on, without ringing the bell.
And listen.
I know Bela. She will forgive you.
But...
You forgive me.
What are you saying, brother-in-law?
Because of you I learnt
so many lessons in a single day.
And you know,
you are just a complete institution.
With different values.
Okay, bye.
Have you forgotten
where the feet are?
Are you bending down,
or shall I lift my feet?
Hello and welcome to our show,
the Winning Tortoise.
Today we have one real imminent
personality in our studio.
The CEO of a very popular water
purifier brand Zen purifiers.
Mr. Rajiv Chhabra.
Thank you.
They say, behind every
successful man there is a woman.
So, is a woman responsible
for you too?
There is an army of women
responsible for me.
And men too.
I have done a lot for my business.
Formed different kind of ties.
Maternal uncle, aunt.
Pater uncle, aunt.
Grandpa, Granny.
Grandfather, Grandma.
Sister and brother-in-law.
I made those ties too.
Remember this boy.
He had come to install a purifier.
Hmm. How can I forget him?
Gappu.
Do you remember Bindu?
Yes.
His girlfriend.
Actually, she was not Gappus...
I knew that..
..you and Bindu...
But you never told me.
I was waiting for the day..
..when you would tell the truth.
Please, forgive me.
I did it that day itself.
Thats why I love you so much.
Hmm.
Will you have tea?
Hmm.
Get me some.
You women are so kind.
You forgive so easily.
Hello, darling.
- Gagan. Are we meeting today?
Not today. I am emotionally
overloaded today.
Oh.
I cant take on your load today.
Why?
Please,..
..dont mind.
Huh.
How can you be so happy
by getting insulted?
Cruel...
One more.
Come on.
I dont know if I need
to go ahead or...
I dont know...
You need hit him up close.
This world. This shooting.
This Manoj. This Chirkut.
Dont you remember
the rest of the dialogue.
Hello.
And you are cawing in the middle?
Action!