1
"Here's an extraordinary tale."
"The first of a two-part story."
"Here's an extraordinary tale."
"The first of a two-part story."
"There were four slackers and Bholi."
"The slackers made a business
out of their dreams."
"Their dreams gave them
the winning lottery number."
"And Bholi joined in this plan."
"But Choocha lied about his dream"
"and Bholi took advantage of that."
"She gave them a packet of drugs."
"They messed up and were indebted to her."
"Lali ended up losing Billa's shop."
"Even Choocha and Hunny were in her debt."
"The junkie's money helped them out"
"and the slackers made the most of it."
"God's gift saved them."
"The slackers laid a trap"
"and sent Bholi straight to jail."
"That's how the first part ended."
"Now let's start the rest of the tale."
Pal.
Hunny.
Slower, please.
Please, pal.
Let's stop here.
I can't hold it in any longer.
You shouldn't have eaten so much.
I won't stop.
Don't do this.
We've committed all sins together,
this is the last one.
Let's relieve ourselves here.
Please, pal.
Hey, don't whistle.
They say whistling attracts snakes.
A black cobra. A black cobra.
A black cobra bit your butt.
I told you not to whistle.
Bholi?
I shall have vengeance today.
You sly fox.
You stood between me and Choocha for ages.
Today, I've gotten rid of you.
Now nothing can separate me and Choocha.
No, no...
Choocha, stop staring at her.
Do something or the venom will spread.
Choocha, you idiot.
Yes, pal, don't be afraid.
I won't let any harm come to you.
Mummy.
Go on, dude...
Run away from here.
We've come to the end
of our partnership.
From here on, I'll be with
my one true love...
Bholi, the enchantress.
This house turns into
a madhouse every morning...
You duffer!
Who the hell were you dreaming about?
Don't you feel ashamed?
Like father, like son.
And their WhatsApp keeps
beeping all night.
Beep. Beep. Beep.
It drives me crazy.
I'm going to end it for now and forever.
I'm going to shut WhatsApp down.
But even your Kitty Group
beeps all night.
Shameless.
How dare you talk before me!
Get ready in two minutes.
Come down, and take
the dirty clothes with you.
If I don't wake you up,
you'd sleep all day.
Absolutely shameless.
I'm barely holding this
house together...
And he just wants to sleep all day.
Make sure you get
all the clothes back.
"M for Mirchi."
"M for Mirchi."
"M for Mirchi."
- "Radio Mirchi."
- Mirchi 98.3.
People who listen to Radio Mirchi
are always happy.
"Come closer..."
"Sing something..."
Priya.
"Come closer..."
It has been so long since
I first said I love you.
Now...
I think it's time we kiss.
Try the all new Sparkle...
With cooling crystals and micro plates.
You'll have super white teeth,
and the freshest breath.
The all new Sparkle.
Come closer with confidence.
Hey.
Not this kiss, silly.
The other one...
French kiss.
No, no... Not that one.
You eat meat.
Eating meat is not allowed in my faith.
Have you lost it?
Do you think the chicken
is still stuck in my mouth?
No, no... Not that one.
You stop eating meat first.
Come on, I'll rinse my mouth.
And...
For you, I'll quit eating meat
from today.
- Happy?
- No, no...
- What?
- Dad.
Oh, come on. Dad...
Dad.
Greetings, Dad.
"Dad."
Who is he?
Dad... He is... I mean...
I, Hunny. That is Vikas Gulati.
I love Priya, and we want to get married.
Son, we are Brahmins.
We don't wed our daughters
into other castes.
The age of caste is over, Dad.
This is the age of status.
I see.
What do you do?
I run an investment company
that doubles money overnight.
- Overnight?
- Yes.
You're not a criminal, are you?
Not at all. You can ask Priya.
I'm naturally talented.
In fact, I recommend
you invest some money.
I'll double it in a day.
Do you want to invest?
I'm a government employee, Son.
I've been content for 35 years
with the little money I make.
Over the years, I've earned
a lot of experience.
My daughter is wise.
Don't break her trust.
Great words, Dad.
Your daughter is like my daughter.
Don't worry.
We're like family now.
Greetings, Dad.
And this is going to be
your music room.
- I see.
- So shall I consider it done?
Yes.
Here...
This is five thousand less.
Mr. Bunty, the amount is right.
But it'll be 5000 more
for the marriage certificate.
Why do we need a certificate
when we're aren't married yet?
Sir, live-in couples are
not allowed to rent flats here.
So I'll have to make you
a fake marriage certificate
and that will cost five thousand rupees.
But the Supreme Court has
passed an order.
Live-in is legal now.
Madam, in that case, rent a flat
in the Supreme Court
because this society won't allow
you to live here.
Give back the check.
If it's just a matter of a
marriage certificate,
then we'll get married and return.
What?
I proposed marriage only
so that we don't lose the flat.
- Good.
- Don't get ideas, Neetu Ma'am.
Okay, how about a beach wedding?
Yes, pal.
Stop polishing your bike.
Girls won't ride on a pillion
with you anyway.
No problem, dude. Hope sustains life.
You are hopeful about the
coffee shop too,
but your father cares a damn.
Pack all this stuff.
Yes, sir, tell me.
My boy.
"Jugaad", not hope, makes
the world go round.
Amazing.
Wow.
Listen.
He had a new dream.
Meet me behind the temple
at two o'clock.
- All right.
- Bye.
First, he had a bicycle; now he has a car.
This became possible because of "jugaad."
That's your future.
You like that?
You'll get your loan, sir.
I'll need a copy of your electricity bill.
But I never pay the electricity bill.
I just tap into the open wires
and run my AC and cooler.
But I can give you a copy
of the documents of my shop.
- Will that do?
- Yes, sir.
- Are you sure?
- I'll make do, sir.
Hey, you lazy fool.
Where are you off to?
Yes?
Go get the documents of the shop
from the safe.
Should I sign in Hindi or Punjabi?
Dad, here are the documents.
Make a plane out of it, then. Fool.
Sit there. And take this.
Check the accounts properly.
All right.
Sir, one more thing.
I'll need your photo as well.
Everybody here knows me by face.
Why do you need a photo?
Do you know my dad?
Yes.
Dad, do you know Bholi Punjaban?
Yes. I mean, no, not at all.
Who is Bholi Punjaban?
And how do you know her?
She has been in the news recently.
She lives nearby.
She's the lady don of Jamna Park.
I heard she's in jail these days.
No, no. I don't know
anyone with that name.
Aren't you getting late for college?
- Your friends must be waiting.
- Let them wait. I'll finish this.
Go, Son, I'll get it done.
Give it to me. I'll check it.
- Okay.
- Yes, I'll take a look, Son.
- You may leave.
- Okay, Dad.
Look, sir.
- Yes.
- I don't want a loan.
- What?
- I don't want a loan.
What happened, sir?
Central Jail Tihar
Women's Cell Number Six
You bastard.
I'm sick of waiting.
When will you get me bailed out?
Ma'am, it's a narcotics case.
Everyone is afraid to get involved.
I have been cleaning toilets here
for a year now.
They make you clean toilets?
Listen to me,
you servant of the constitution.
Bribe the judges, charm the ministers
or call the damn Air Force.
Get me out of here within
twenty-four hours
or I'll give you fire and fury.
Fair enough, ma'am.
You've got nothing else
left to give anyway.
Your loyal henchmen...
They're surviving by working
in communal kitchens.
The Almighty's blessings...
The Almighty's blessings...
The Almighty's blessings...
The Almighty's blessings...
And look at me.
After the expenditure on this case
I can't even afford to buy
stamp papers worth 10 rupees.
How will I bribe the judge?
My charms alone won't be
enough, ma'am.
You'll have to suck it up
and work your charms.
Arrange a cell phone for me.
"Old McDonald had a farm"
"and on the farm he had a barn."
"From the barn he stole a bale"
"and then he had to go to jail."
"Then he had to eat in jail"
"and work in jail."
"He had to rot in jail."
It's Bholi.
Mr. Minister, forget your anger
and embrace Bholi again.
If only you'd been this
soft and sweet earlier, Bholi.
Then you wouldn't be
stuck cleaning toilets,
but representing my party in parliament.
Get down to my thighs now.
I need to relax those muscles.
Let me take care of that, Mr. Bhatia.
Just get me out of here.
Then you'll see
how I help you relax.
Are you planning to send me to
heaven already, Bholi?
Let terrorists worry about
going to heaven.
Let's us stay on earth.
Tell me then, how much will it be?
100 million in ten days.
I want new young girls every week.
And in return for this favor
I want a promise from you.
I want you to make me a promise
that I can call in whenever I please
and you will come to help me.
All right.
Superb. Pack your things.
You'll be released within
twenty-four hours.
Praise the Lord.
How's it going? You saw the photo?
Yes, but it's not clear,
I couldn't understand it.
Exactly. Choocha is like jazz music.
You can't understand it,
but you still love it.
- Okay, where do we meet?
- Hold on.
12 briefs, two blouses,
a pair of cargo pants...
Write it down. Four petticoats,
two vests...
Return the clothes on hangers.
Yes, pal.
It's Katty's call.
No way.
What is she saying?
She's asking me where to meet you.
Call her to the zoo.
The zoo?
Have you lost it, idiot?
I'm trying to set you up
and you want to take her to the zoo.
But, dude, it's my childhood dream
to take my girlfriend to the zoo
on our first date
and then go boating.
Dude, she'll run away.
Dude, if she can't
respect my emotions
let her run away.
Hello?
Listen, will you...
- Will you come to the zoo?
- The zoo?
Yes, you got a problem with that?
- No, I'll come.
- Okay then.
"We've washed each other's underwear."
"We've cried together when
girls broke our hearts."
"No matter what,
come rain or shine..."
"Nothing is above our friendship."
"You're my best friend, after all."
And then Uncle Nehru called
from the moon.
I said, "Yes? Choocha speaking."
So Uncle Nehru said,
"Mr. Choocha,"
the nation needs you.
The Chinese have attacked.
"Over and out."
The moment I put the phone down
my mom said that "Rajma Chawal" was ready.
But I told her,
"Mummy, first I'll save the nation,
then I'll eat Rajma Chawal".
Hey, you're not paying attention.
Here I am, telling you stories for free
and you're yawning.
Go back to your mother.
The story is over.
- Hey, Changu.
- Yes.
Doesn't the beef ban
apply to the tiger as well?
- If it doesn't, it will happen soon.
- I see.
Hello, Mummy.
I'll be done in half an hour.
Yes, listen.
I hope you haven't cooked dinner yet.
I'm bringing some mutton.
Yes, mutton trotters.
Okay, I've got to go.
Hey, that's too much.
- Is this much enough?
- Yes, that's enough for the tigress.
Put some here.
I think even that is too much.
Here, keep the rest.
Yes, give me the mutton trotters.
Hey, Choocha.
If his mother scratches your back,
you will have marks as
big as the map of China.
You can't do whatever you like
just because the zoo is closed.
Dude.
Katty.
Man, I'm weak in the knees already.
And you wanted to go on a date.
Wait here. I'll set it up for you.
Dude, people usually go to
movies on first dates or the mall.
You've called me here.
Yes, because you have
a very special date
with Choocha the Great.
And the adventures
you will have with him...
You'll soon find out.
Okay, so where is Choocha the Great?
There.
That's him, his teeth are
like that of a rabbit.
Him?
Hey, don't judge him by his face.
He's really sweet and adorable.
And he'll keep you entertained
with his wonderful stories.
Come, I'll introduce you.
Katty, he is Choocha.
Choocha, she is Katty.
You guys talk, I'll go get
a burger and patty.
- Hi.
- Hi.
- How are you?
- Nice.
So do you like the zoo?
Yes.
I feel very connected with the animals.
How cute.
Cute.
He's cute, right?
This is nothing.
I was once hanging out
with a hippopotamus, and...
Oh, wow.
Your nails are so big and pretty.
- Aren't they? Thanks.
- Yes.
You know, I'm suffering from prickly heat.
Please scratch my back
with your big and pretty nails.
- What?
- I'll scratch your back too if you like.
Please.
Then I'll tell you a secret.
Please.
Please.
Ah. Yes, that's the spot.
A bit to the left...
A bit to the left...
Right there.
A little lower...
Okay, so what is your secret?
I was saying don't get
too attached to me...
I won't be around for long.
What do you mean?
Hunny and I are planning to
join a foreign university.
Yale University.
Will you scratch a bit
under my T-shirt?
Idiot. Moron.
Stupid, imbecile, fool.
What do you think of yourself?
First, you brought me to this zoo
on a date,
then you made me scratch your back.
Yale University, my foot.
I feel like giving you a tight slap.
"You, the man from Punjab,
don't try to peep at girls."
"Your mother scolded me the other day."
"You, the man from Punjab..."
"You, the man from Punjab..."
Don't whistle.
They say whistling attracts snakes.
Okay, I won't whistle.
Tell us your dream so I can go.
You only care about the dream.
I just got slapped.
Be happy she only slapped you
and didn't scratch you to death.
That's not fair, man.
When you do it you're a stud,
but if I do it I'm a fool.
Dude, you just don't have the swag.
Not everybody can charm girls.
You're no expert
in charming girls either.
Just tell us about your dream, Choocha.
Yes, I will.
That's all I'm worth.
You just want to make money
off my dreams.
You don't love Choocha.
You only love Choocha's dreams.
You will get rid of me once
I tell you about my dreams...
Hey, what happened?
Are you okay?
Black cobra, Choocha.
- A black cobra bit your butt.
- I told you not to whistle.
Do something or the poison will spread.
Don't worry.
I won't let anything happen to you.
"You're my best friend, after all."
Don't just stand and watch.
Not me. I'm allergic to poison.
Yes, it can't be Lali.
You'll have to suck up the poison.
Idiot, I meant, go get the bike.
Yes.
"No women, no hope."
"No future, no scope."
You hippo...
Bro, the cola.
What a guy!
Come on, sir. He's blabbering on.
It happens during a high fever.
Don't worry. I'm here.
Thermometer, please.
And your freshly baked
cake is now ready.
Happy birthday to you.
Thank you, but it's not my birthday.
Open your mouth.
You shouldn't put this in your ear.
- Choocha!
- He'll break it. Take it out.
Take it out.
It goes in your mouth,
and not your ear. Take it out.
- Bring the machine.
- Don't you clean your ears?
- Hold it.
- Ding dong.
- I welcome you to Jatayu Airways.
- Okay.
To tie your seat belt press one.
To go to the toilet
press your bum. Thank you.
Prepare an antidote.
Injection won't work, doctor,
give him electric shocks.
Sure, we'll do that too.
- Hey, give it back.
- Let go of it, man.
Stop him. Leave it, son.
- What are you doing?
- That's very expensive.
Leave!
Check out my muscles.
They're like space shuttles.
Son, your muscle will tear.
Get it off him.
This must be the first case
where a bite on the butt
has left him befuddled.
Listen, lad.
Don't let this boy with a beard fool you.
Move away before the flying saucer
falls on your head.
- Which boxer?
- Saucer, not boxer, you fool.
- Death looms above you. Move away.
- Choocha!
Nurse. Flip him around.
- Quickly, turn him around.
- No. No.
- Come on.
- No.
- It won't hurt, don't worry.
- No. No.
Don't move, the needle
will get stuck in your bum.
- It's almost done.
- No.
It's done. It's over.
Done.
What a pain.
To the principal,
Senior Citizen School.
I, Daleep Singh...
request you to grant me
leave for four days.
Yours faithfully, XYZ.
- Is he dead?
- No, he's all right.
Women's Cell Number Six
"Hey, you. Mister."
Will you go to Karol Bagh?
Yes, but I won't run the meter.
I'll charge a hundred rupees.
- Madam.
- Why have you brought this auto rickshaw?
- Where's the car?
- Madam, the car is gone.
Only the Haryana farm is left,
and two cows.
Mr. Bhatia raided every trade, madam.
He's a big player.
Dirty game.
The same minister pay 100 million.
- Oh, wow.
- What's so good about it?
We have to pay him 100 millions
in ten days.
Or I'll be back in jail,
and you will be back to Africa.
No, no, no.
Move.
Find out where those
four rascals are.
"Rumors..."
"The rumors are everywhere."
"I belong to them..."
"This noise has spread everywhere."
"The lovers are fake"
"and the rumors are all false."
"Let people say what they want."
"I don't care at all."
"Wanna love me?
Wanna wanna love me?"
"Wanna love me?
Wanna wanna love me?"
"Wanna love me?
Wanna wanna love me?"
"Wanna love me?
Wanna wanna love me?"
"Oh, my beloved."
"Oh, my beloved."
"I've lost my mind..."
"To your heavenly heart..."
"I have drowned in the
depths of your love."
"Oh, my beloved."
"My sweetheart."
"You are my beloved."
"I am entranced by your gaze."
"You are wonderful and magical."
"I'd rather die than wake up
and end this dream."
"Don't break my heart into pieces."
"Don't dismiss us as slackers."
"It's no big deal. We are smart."
"We've just got a few bad habits."
"Wanna love me?
Wanna wanna love me?"
"Wanna love me?
Wanna wanna love me?"
"Wanna love me?
Wanna wanna love me?"
"Wanna love me?
Wanna wanna love me?"
"Oh, my beloved."
"My sweetheart."
"You may leave if you wish to."
"It's your wish, what can I even say?"
"Oh, my beloved."
"I've lost my mind to you."
"I have drowned in
the depths of your love."
"It feels good to hear that, right?"
"I've never said this to anybody else."
"But who has the time for such flirts?"
"Leave if you wish to.
Bye, bye. Goodbye."
"If you remember who I am,
then hold the kite up."
We got Choocha. We got Choocha.
Madam, you've truly got them this time.
Come on, Pandit.
We were waiting for you.
It'll be your turn next, wait.
Bobby boy, get "mitti ka tel".
"Mitti ka tel." I didn't understand.
Man, I'm tired of these dolts.
Get kerosene. Go get it.
- Burning man.
- No, no, no, Bholi.
I've done nothing.
I am innocent.
Madam, enough is enough.
Just kill us and be done with it.
Had I wanted to kill you
I wouldn't have wasted
my savings on firecrackers.
You started this,
but I will end it.
Then just tell us how it ends.
Are you in a hurry, coach?
I'm in a hurry too.
I've got to pay somebody a lot of cash.
So here's the plan.
This game will end the way it began.
What do you mean?
What do we have to do?
The same thing you've been doing.
Play your lottery game.
But instead of playing with me
you'll play with the people of Delhi.
How?
You'll open a company.
People will bet a minimum
of 100,000 rupees.
For every bet, you will give
the bettor a legal MOU
worth double the bet amount.
You'll make a lottery number
from Choocha's dream.
That will be the winning number.
We will win ten times the amount.
We will give the bettors
double the amount.
That leaves eight times the amount for me.
"Hey, you. Mister."
What a great plan, Bholi.
I know you're doing this
for the well-being of our future kids.
And as a responsible father,
even I've made a plan.
Look, we'll deposit your
earnings in a bank...
Listen up, Choocha.
You alone are bad enough.
If you produce children,
then the world will fall apart.
I'd rather die a spinster,
than have your babies.
And I shall never be an Uncle
to your children.
At least tell me, what problem
do you see in me?
Problem?
You're such a buffoon, I'm sure
you shower in your underwear.
Can't you keep a secret?
You just don't want me to
settle down with anyone.
I'll settle you down.
Jail has hardened you, Bholi.
Ma'am, don't waste your breath on him.
We'll leave him with you,
hit him as much as you like.
We've only ventured
small amounts so far.
You're talking about looting
the lottery. We could be exposed.
So?
All my businesses have
shut down in the past 12 months.
Because of whom?
The four of you.
I rotted in jail for 12 months.
Because of whom?
The four of you.
I'm in debt.
Because of whom?
The four of us.
You fool!
Excuse me, ma'am.
Mummy!
You've had your fun.
You've made your money.
Now it's payback time.
You will have to pay a price
for everything.
By hook or by crook.
What do you mean?
Oh, dear boy.
You better hope you never
have to find out.
That's fine, ma'am.
But what will we get?
Look at him.
The boy has got some nerve.
You're no better than Choocha.
I'll let you live,
that's what you will get.
Coach.
Tell him. No tricks this time.
All right.
Leave before I change
my mind or my mood.
Release them.
Pandit, please.
You were thinking of marrying her
and making babies.
Pal.
I think I just saw
all of us running in tatters.
And people are chasing us angrily.
Shut up, Choocha. Not now.
- I swear...
- Shut up.
I'm telling you, I saw it.
I swear it.
My bum is hurting,
will you put some balm on it?
It's slippery.
"Slackers."
"We are slackers."
"We make even ghosts run away in fear."
"So hold your horses and
watch us in action."
"Slackers."
"We are slackers."
"We make even ghosts run away in fear."
"So hold your horses and
watch us in action."
"Loafers, wastrels!"
"Loafers, wastrels!"
"Loafers, wastrels!"
"Loafers, wastrels!"
"Loafers, wastrels!"
"Loafers, wastrels!"
"Loafers, wastrels!"
"We are perpetually out of luck."
"But we dream big."
"All of them are
million dollar dreams"
"but we own nothing of value."
"We walk the streets of Delhi"
"like emperors."
"We can make people..."
"wet their pants."
"We don't stop till we're done."
"So get out of our way."
"Slackers."
"We are slackers."
"We make even ghosts
run away in fear."
"So hold your horses and
watch us in action."
"Slackers."
"We are slackers."
"We make even ghosts
run away in fear."
"So hold your horses and
watch us in action."
"Loafers, wastrels!"
"Loafers, wastrels!"
"Loafers, wastrels!"
"Loafers, wastrels!"
"Slackers."
"Oh, slackers, you're out of luck."
"You'll soon be paupers."
"You're going to be paupers now."
"Because you're completely out of luck."
Defecating in the bushes...
Defecating leads to...
Poop.
From which we make manure
and manure is used in the fields.
What grows in the fields?
- Harvest...
- Gold.
We make rings of gold.
And these rings have precious stones.
- The most popular of which is...
- Diamond.
So the lottery name is Delhi Diamond.
Now let's consider...
The snake.
The snake is a symbol of Lord Shiva.
And Lord Shiva carries a trident.
He also has a third eye.
So the trident hints at the number three
and so does the third eye.
So the number is clearly...
- Three?
- Three plus three that's six.
Plus three is six.
Should I write?
Write.
Delhi Diamond, number 6.
Mr. Brijmohan.
You're going back on your words.
Let me remind you something.
Your position as chief minister
is only secure because of my sixteen MLAs.
If you forget this,
then I will take away the support.
Thanks for the reminder,
Mr. Babulal Bhatia.
But my government obeys
only the people.
Not ministers like you.
The people's wishes will be
made clear in the upcoming election.
As for me, listen up.
I will keep supporting
as well as messing with you.
I've got only you to lose,
and all of Delhi to gain.
I left my village with only a penny.
Today, I'm a millionaire.
People like you...
Hello?
Hey, hello.
Sir, our business...
Were you sleeping till now, idiot?
Who are these guys?
Just...
There are four guys who've opened
a new company.
They've played at lotteries
for a few years.
They didn't get caught earlier
because they dealt in small amounts.
But now they're trying to
bet a very large amount.
And you're trying to put yourself
on my seat.
Darling, he needs a sip of water.
Tidda.
Have you too forgotten your boss?
I swear, boss, I gave him
the news in the first place.
It was me that sensed
something with these guys.
Somehow, they get the number by fluke
and get the prize money.
I can get them beaten up if you say so.
That'll do no good to me.
Just accept their bets.
Let them bet as much
money as they like.
Boss, we'll lose everything then.
- Tidda.
- Yes, boss, okay.
As you say.
"All right."
- Bet 18.8 million.
- Bet 14.4 million.
- Bet 1.7 million.
- Bet 16.6 million.
On Delhi Diamond, number six.
- Delhi Diamond, number six.
- Delhi Diamond, number six.
- Number six, Delhi Diamond.
- Yes.
Take the money in advance.
Six, number six.
The number six.
Bet 15.5 million.
You know, there's a saying.
If everything is coming your way,
then you're in the wrong lane.
What's wrong in this, Zafar?
Petrol prices are going up
every month.
Inflation is at an all-time high,
and so are people's needs.
The only thing that's cheap
is a person's integrity or one's life.
If this floats someone's boat,
what's the harm?
You send your winnings
to charity anyway.
Then think of this as goodwill
for the Delhi folk
along with getting rid of your debt.
Okay, now move on.
Pandit,
you look like such a nincompoop.
I couldn't believe your wisdom
for a few seconds.
But honestly, you've won my heart.
And Zafar has won mine.
That's why I've decided
never to leave you
and I'll come to Goya with you.
What? Where?
Goya.
Where there are beaches,
and dolphins...
Where everyone swims in the ocean.
Zafar, did you think
that we forgot your show?
Hey.
It's not just about a show.
Zafar is also getting married there.
What are you saying, Pandit?
Is that true, Zafar?
Yes, I was going to tell you about it,
but I didn't get a chance.
No worries, Zafar.
We show up at weddings
uninvited all the time.
Just look out for him.
He'll never be a groom,
but he could be your best man.
At least he'll get to
walk down the aisle.
Congratulations.
Sir, there is the pool,
and the garden is over there.
And that is the driveway
connecting to the building.
Wait.
Excuse me, please come.
This side.
Say, how much did they bet?
Boss, it's a large amount on
number six of Delhi Diamond.
If the number hits,
they'll win 800 million.
What shall I do?
Change the lottery number.
What?
Change the lottery number, Son.
And enjoy the show.
All right.
Spread word.
Those slackers' company has shut down
and they have made off
with the people's money.
Declare the company
fraudulent immediately.
Okay.
Do you have cell phone reception?
- Yes, I do.
- It's been hours.
Why haven't they called yet?
The call will come. Don't worry.
Choocha...
Hello? Which number?
We got the wrong lottery number.
We lost.
"Run."
"Run."
"Run."
"Run."
All right.
- Come on, sir.
- Tidda.
What are the day's profits?
Boss, factoring in the bets
from Hunny and Choocha's company
our profit is 11.6 million.
- Oh, really?
- Yes.
And how are those smart-alecks doing?
They're in big trouble.
People are tearing at them.
They are on the run for their lives.
- Is it?
- Yes.
Sir?
This isn't my job.
This shouldn't have happened at all.
Politics is my game,
not this petty nonsense.
I want to be the chief minister
not a referee.
Yes, sir.
- Understood?
- Yes.
"Run."
"Run."
Why are you wandering around?
First, you tell me who you are.
Turtle okay, elephant okay.
Lion okay, rhino okay.
Donkey?
What will you do with donkeys?
You don't know the use of a donkey?
It gives a very good medicine.
Madam. Madam.
How much money have
you lost so far?
325,000.
Those rascals cheated us.
My daughter's wedding is
about to take place in eight days.
I hope Choocha rots in hell.
I need to repair my shanty
for the monsoon.
But Lali has cheated me of 125,000.
I curse him.
He will be ruined.
According to our sources,
the entire scam involves
about 100 million.
From doctors to laborers,
all the people in Delhi
have lost their money.
Hunny and Choocha, owners
of Hunny-Choocha Dream Factory,
and their partners...
Those clowns!
They run out of luck only
when they work for me.
Behind me.
The guy behind me.
Help him.
Hold him.
Hold him from the other side.
Hunny? Hunny?
Hunny.
Lali. Lali.
Pump his chest.
Okay.
We'll have to try mouth-to-mouth.
What?
Are you crazy, Zafar?
This guy doesn't brush
his teeth for months
and you want me to
blow into his mouth.
You're welcome to try it.
But I won't do it.
Let him die if he must.
You imbecile.
I was saving this French kiss
for Bholi.
But you stole it.
Oh, God.
You've blown your dirty breath
into my lungs.
I feel like throwing up.
You overweight shrimp.
Buy some toothpaste.
Your breath is even worse than mine.
Is he for real?
"My heart is crazy about love."
"I know how to burn myself in love."
"It's difficult for you
to escape, my love."
Mister,
can I borrow your phone?
"My heart is crazy about love."
"My heart is crazy about love."
Hey, is anyone going to sleep here?
"Loafers, wastrels!"
"Loafers, wastrels!"
"Loafers, wastrels!"
"Loafers, wastrels!"
"Loafers, wastrels!"
"Loafers, wastrels!".
"Loafers, wastrels!"
"Loafers, wastrels!"
Hello, Pandit? This is Zafar here.
"Loafers, wastrels!"
"Loafers, wastrels!"
"Loafers, wastrels!"
"Loafers, wastrels!"
"Loafers, wastrels!"
"Loafers, wastrels!"
"Loafers, wastrels!"
Hey, dude.
Are you mad?
It's really hot.
Here, 4000 rupees.
Don't say a word to anyone.
All right.
"That's it, I'm off.
Keep me in your prayers."
"Talk about me once in a while..."
Yes?
Who are you?
I'm just like that.
- What do you mean?
- How do I explain?
You know, just like that.
Dude, he's with me.
He's a friend.
So you're with them?
I'll charge double for him.
Why?
You know...
Just like that.
Arrogance.
How is everything out there, Pandit?
Billa has lost his mind.
He is defending his shop
with a sword.
Delhi Police and the public
are looking for you.
I mean, they're looking for your bodies.
They think you drowned in the river.
What about Neetu and Priya?
They were distraught when
they heard about the drowning.
But I told them
that you are alive.
True love never dies.
Bholi must also be very
worried about me.
Do you think so?
She's in deep mourning.
- Oh, really?
- Shut up.
How did we get the wrong
lottery number?
That's what I'm trying to...
- Bro, did you again...
- No, pal. No, Hunny.
The dream was real.
I swear to God.
Dude, I don't trust him.
Argue as much as you like.
Make your funeral arrangements
as well, while you're at it.
We are no more.
Oh Lord, please save us.
Lali...
Hunny, I just saw something.
Great, he's gone crazy again.
No, really. I just saw something.
This is just a ruse to go to
an asylum instead of jail.
- Pandit, believe me...
- What did you see?
Dude.
Dude, I saw
a giant tiger in a big cave
with two demons standing there.
And there were large boxes and chests
full of treasure.
- That's what I just saw.
- Hunny, please. Please.
This is not a dream.
Exactly. This is not a dream.
And this isn't the first time.
- This is the same ruse for asylum...
- Enough now, Pandit.
Lali, do you remember?
When the snake bit him,
and the fever drove him nuts?
He's still equally nuts.
In fact, he's even crazier.
Just answer the question, man.
He told me to move, because
the flying saucer would fall.
The fan fell on the spot,
right as I moved, remember?
Yes, you could've died.
And the other day at Bholi's.
There he saw people running
after us angrily.
And we all know what
happened yesterday.
One minute, what are you
trying to say?
Just that Choocha said
the fan would fall, and it fell.
He said people would run
after us, and they did.
And now he says there's a tiger...
With two demons in a cave,
with a real treasure.
Yes, it is real, because
he has seen it.
Zafar, I think he is in shock.
Let it be, Hunny. They don't
know anything about science.
They won't understand.
Pandit, this is called "dj chu".
Not "dj chu", idiot.
It's dj vu.
It's happened to me, so
we'll call it "dj chu", get it?
It's not dj vu.
Premonition.
This is a premonition.
What's that?
It's when one can see things
in the future...
Wait, you mean Choocha
can see the future?
No, not the future, but some
events from the immediate future.
People see one-off
incidents sometimes.
Mostly related to them.
This much is true.
Zafar, I just don't get it.
Pandit, it isn't necessary
for us to understand everything.
All our lives, we try to fit
everything in our understanding.
If we grasp something, it is true,
otherwise, we think it is impossible.
We meant well. We didn't
want to harm anyone.
God saw us in trouble
and gave us a new gift.
And one shouldn't question
or doubt God's gifts.
There, that's God's first signal.
"We are slackers."
Bro, that's the zoo.
"We make even ghosts run away in fear."
Changu, use both hands.
Catch him.
The cub's mother is angry.
Corner it now.
There, we've almost got him.
Shh, quietly...
- To the corner...
- From the other side...
- Open the gate, quickly.
- Wait, I'll open it.
That means the treasure is real.
So, now what?
Well, we've found the tiger.
Now we find the rest of it.
No matter what happens
this stays between the five of us.
This goes especially to you.
I swear on your mom, pal.
I won't say a word.
Take it quickly.
- Quickly...
- Good, good.
Ma'am Bholi will be very happy. Take this.
We'll need more later.
Let's go.
Three million, okay.
Let go of me. Please let go of me.
Bholi, where are they taking me?
I'll pay you back, please
don't gouge my eyes out.
No, silly.
Not your eyes,
they'll take your kidney.
You owe me 2.8 million
with interest, right?
And your kidney will sell
for three million.
So the balance is yours.
See, this is a profitable deal for you.
No, please let go of me.
I'll pay you back.
No.
Right then, boy.
Let's start by gouging out your eyes.
You have such pretty eyes.
Miss Bholi, please. Not my eyes.
I haven't even seen
the world properly yet.
Have you seen the movie 3 Idiots?
- Yes.
- That's enough.
Wait, what's going on?
You keep herding us here like sheep.
The people of Delhi are after us
because of your plan.
And now you're disemboweling us.
Zafar warned you, didn't he?
Your plan failed, we didn't screw up.
Calm down, captain.
If you thought the plan was bad,
why did you jump at it?
You think I don't know you?
I don't care whose fault it is.
Bobby boy,
take these five men.
One kidney and two eyes each.
Three million per eye,
and five million for the kidney.
- Sell it and recover the debit balance.
- No, Miss Bholi, please.
Lali, you scare too easily, man.
Nothing will happen, believe me.
Look. First, they'll give you
chloroform.
Then right here... Look at me.
They'll slice right here
on the stomach...
I saw something again.
I saw
a bag of cranberry juice
was hanging on a stand.
There was an oxygen mask
on that man's face...
And in the doctor's hand
there was an X-ray report
with only one kidney.
His kidney... Not his kidney.
Don't take his kidney, Bholi.
He has only one kidney he'll die.
Don't take his kidney.
But his kidney...
Bholi, Bholi...
Please forgive me.
Please don't take my kidney.
My heart will fail if you do.
I have some news for you instead.
Pandit, don't be afraid.
We'll talk it out peacefully.
Have you lost it?
I told you to keep this a secret.
Dude, what is the secret worth
if she takes your organs?
I want no tricks, speak clearly.
- It's nothing.
- I'll tell you.
It might sound outlandish,
but this Choocha...
All the bizarre quirks in the
universe happen to him.
He is now able to see the future.
He can see events that
haven't happened yet.
Zafar, what is it called?
Prem Permission...
Don't look at me like that.
Trust me. Please believe me.
Ask them if you want to.
Everything Choocha sees comes true.
Don't you guys get tired?
You always cook up some
peculiar theory or the other.
Listen up, shape shifter.
I'll call Paul the Octopus
- if I want to see my future.
- Okay.
Save Choocha's gift
for your birthday.
Listen, handsome. Start with
this old man first.
Take out all his body parts,
except for his brain and his tongue.
Bholi, it's true.
Choocha has seen it.
He saw a tiger in a cave with two demons
and Mughal treasure.
- That's enough for now.
- It isn't unbelievable.
No just Choocha, anybody
could have premonitions.
Even you.
Google it if you want to.
I've seen it.
That's why I'm removing them, so you
can't spew such nonsense again.
Madam, you're making a big mistake.
You might as well have killed us earlier.
Sorry for the delay.
- Bholi, I have kids.
- Let go of me.
Let go of me.
If you're thinking about the treasure,
then forget about it.
That's impossible right now.
Why?
Everybody thinks we are dead.
We'll get caught if we go out
looking for the treasure.
People might even kill us in anger.
And if we die
you will never get the treasure.
And you don't need me to tell you
how valuable the treasure
could be on the international market.
So you want me to dig up the city
with a hammer and spade?
No, madam.
If you want the treasure,
then buy us our freedom.
How?
How?
How?
Choocha, shh.
Sometimes I wonder
how she runs her empire.
What do you think, Bobby?
Zafar, tell her how.
We owe the people 84 million.
Pay them their money,
and we'll look for the treasure.
And as soon as we find it,
it's yours.
Half yours, half ours.
50/50.
That's how.
She wants to know how!
Scratch properly, Pandit.
I am doing that.
Mom.
Mom.
God has answered our prayers.
We don't have to call off the wedding.
Mom.
My wedding won't have
to be called off.
I received a call saying
we will get our money back.
Praise the Almighty.
Boss, I've just found out.
All four boys are alive,
and they're with Bholi.
Bholi is returning everyone's
money on their behalf.
Madam.
Madam.
Recovery total is 23.3 million.
Mrs. Bhalla booked two eyes,
but bought only one.
Yes, Mr. Bhatia.
People are usually worthless when alive.
How could the dead be
worth anything, Bholi?
But you must have a reason
for placing value on the dead.
What you need to do
is send those boys over to me.
Ask for anything but them,
I'll give it to you.
Why?
Have you decided to become their consort?
Listen to me.
Send them to me, or break your promise.
It's up to you.
- Ah, you've arrived?
- No, we haven't.
- First tell us what is going on.
- All of us, here...
And how is Mr. Bhatia involved?
He'll explain everything himself.
Don't worry.
- Please, take care of them.
- Of course, sir.
Come, come.
Please.
See you later.
Greetings, welcome to The Roseate.
This way, please.
Do you think they'll feed us?
Excuse me.
No, ma'am, we don't want a credit card.
That's not a credit card,
it's your room key, sir.
What?
What did you say?
This is the first time in
my life someone has called me sir.
Did you see that?
Ma'am, please do me a favor.
I haven't bathed in two days,
and I'm sticky all over.
Please arrange some soap,
shampoo, oil and towel slippers.
What, sir?
Towel slippers.
Yes, yes, let's go.
If this is the key,
imagine what the lock is like.
Now, what does Babulal want from us?
What could we possibly give him?
Do you think Babulal is a homo?
Like Amit from school?
I've heard some politicians
are fond of young boys.
Yes?
Sir, Mr. Babulal has asked for you.
See. Didn't I tell you?
Lali, you go first.
No way. I won't go alone.
He's asked for all of you.
- All of us?
- Yes.
- Together?
- Yes, sir.
Here, Son.
Here, Son.
- I'm vegetarian.
- Okay, okay.
Then take this.
Sir, may I say something?
Speak your mind fearlessly, Son.
- Sir, I've heard...
- Uncle, where is Aunt?
What, why are you staring at me?
She is nowhere to be seen, so I asked him.
I just wanted to clear things up.
In case, like Amit from school,
you're also a...
You've wet the whole chicken.
I'll have to dry it up now.
- Sir, I've heard that...
- Hold on, dear.
What's your name, dear?
Choocha.
Choocha.
That makes sense.
What were you saying?
I've heard that politicians don't
even spare a thought for free.
You've heard right.
So what do you want from us
in return for this hospitality?
I want you to make me a promise.
A promise.
Have some more, dear.
- One more.
- Sure.
Please.
Do you know our nation's
greatest strength?
Youth. It's young population.
When I see lost young men like you...
It causes me great pain.
Boys, this world works
on a give-and-take basis.
But people only focus on the take.
I know the problem you boys are in.
If I want, I could solve all
your troubles in a day.
But in return, you must make me a promise.
Sir, please get us out of this mess.
Take as many promises
as you like in return.
Then promise me
that you will apologize
to the people openly
and you will avoid all
shady businesses henceforth.
Promise me you'll work hard and
uphold the country's pride.
You'll be an example for other youth.
If you make me this solemn promise,
then tomorrow I will return
the people of Delhi
every penny of their lost money.
There will be no police
or court cases involved.
Uncle Nehru.
"Walk on the path of justice."
"It will lead you to righteousness."
"Be a strong voice for the nation."
"Do your country proud."
"Walk on the right path..."
Uncle Nehru.
You've finally come to meet
your dear Choocha.
You have no idea how much
I've read about you.
I always told Mummy
that you would surely come one day.
- Choocha.
- Thank you, Uncle.
- Uncle Nehru.
- Leave him, Choocha.
So...
Is that a promise?
Glory to Mother India.
Glory to Mother India.
Excuse me, madam.
Where are you going?
Pandit, it's you.
Male to female?
Male, female...
Can't go into detail.
Just take me to madam.
Come, come.
Bholi, sometimes you live up to your name.
I can't believe you could be so naive.
I mean, maybe you didn't notice...
I'm in a bad mood, Pandit.
- Don't talk in riddles.
- Okay.
Do you know who runs
the lottery business in Delhi?
Tidda, of course.
And who is Tidda's father?
Tidda's father?
Wasn't his mother a prostitute?
I'm not sure...
May I give you some
personal advice?
Stay away from Choocha at any cost.
Not good for health.
He's a virus.
I can see his influence here.
By father, I mean his boss.
And Tidda's boss is Babulal Bhatia.
He owns all the lottery dens
on the Delhi border.
Nonsense, I know Babulal Bhatia
inside out.
- I know all his businesses.
- Ah.
No wonder he fooled you.
He changed the lottery number as soon as
he heard about the Dream Factory.
This is the truth, I guarantee it.
Pandit, if this is some trick...
No, no, Miss Bholi...
Look at me.
Do I look like I can afford
to play tricks on you?
God bless Noor Bano
who gave me her burqa
along with this news.
- Noor Bano?
- Yes.
- From the red light area?
- Yes.
She was once Babulal's masseuse,
but she now runs a brothel.
Look, Bholi.
Babulal rigging the lottery makes sense.
But then he took the boys
from right under your nose.
Wonder why.
Did he find out about the treasure?
Pandit, go to them immediately
and tell the captain about
the minister's deceit.
And remind them that no matter what...
No matter what.
Babulal Bhatia should not
find out about the treasure.
I'll take care of the rest.
Not me, madam, people are
baying for my blood.
How can I go there?
I'll tell you how.
"Come on, rap with me."
"The whole floor will tap with me."
"You know, everyone calls me Pandit."
"Spinning the tail as good as ghee."
850 rupees for the curry.
2300 rupees for Butter chicken.
- Bro, let's go out.
- Shut up.
Don't even think about it.
We'll only go out once we are free.
But take a look at it.
There's a wedding reception.
Some actresses have also come.
Please, dude, just once...
"You're my best friend, after all."
No, no.
"You're my best friend, after all."
- Hello, room service?
- No, sir, this is the reception.
Oh. May I ask why you haven't
invited us to the reception?
Sir, this is the reception desk.
- The wedding reception is on the lawns.
- Oh no...
Two receptions in the same hotel.
No wonder I got confused.
Sorry, sir.
It's okay.
Do you have binacalculators?
What, sir?
Binacalculators.
No, sir, we don't have that.
Virus.
What's wrong with the guy in 04?
Oil, slippers...
What's binacalculators now?
Binoculars.
- Sorry, sir?
- Nothing.
Is 05 vacant?
"Loafers, wastrels!"
"Loafers, wastrels!"
"Loafers, wastrels!"
"Loafers, wastrels!"
CBI. It's the CBI, bro.
It's a CBI raid. Run.
"Loafers, wastrels!"
Pandit, is that you?
Yes, it's me.
May I come in?
"Loafers, wastrels!"
So Bholi hasn't told Babulal
about the treasure.
She hasn't.
One minute.
I hope you guys didn't tell him, either.
Then what does he want?
I can't believe it...
What?
Elections.
Babulal doesn't care about
our freedom or social service.
He just wants to become a
messiah for the people of Delhi
and win the upcoming elections.
And maybe, become the chief minister.
Not maybe, Zafar, you are
absolutely correct.
One moment, he'll set you free,
but the next, he'll drag you back.
He's a rascal.
My father often says, "Son",
a man's strength lies in his backbone.
And if the backbone
becomes weak or breaks,
"then there is no difference
between a live man and a corpse."
- Pandit.
- Yes?
Dial Bholi's number, please.
It's ringing.
- Bholi? This is Hunny speaking.
- Tell me.
I'll tell you. Grab a pen and paper.
We are reporting from
Babulal Bhatia's press conference
where people are arriving in droves.
A massive crowd has now gathered.
In a time where the country
is plagued by corruption,
there is still a generous politician
like Babulal Bhatia
who is returning the people's
lost money from his pocket.
Long live Babulal Bhatia.
Long live Babulal Bhatia.
Long live Babulal Bhatia.
Long live Babulal Bhatia.
Long live Babulal Bhatia.
Long live Babulal Bhatia.
Long live Babulal Bhatia.
Long live Babulal Bhatia.
Long live Babulal Bhatia.
Long live Babulal Bhatia.
Please sit, boys.
Long live Babulal Bhatia.
Long live Babulal Bhatia.
Long live Babulal Bhatia.
I, your humble servant,
Babulal Bhatia,
welcome everybody assembled here
wholeheartedly.
Tell me, madam.
What can I help you with?
Babulal Bhatia.
That's right.
It's a simple matter.
Naxalites,
mafia leaders,
or even terrorists.
All of them get a chance to reform.
They get a chance to
lay down their weapons.
These are still just four
lost young men.
They are the future of the nation.
That is why, I believe
that even they should get
another chance.
Without wasting much time
I ask the guilty young men
to apologize to you.
Praise the Lord.
Come on. Go ahead.
People Progress Party
We are both ashamed
and happy at our actions.
Ashamed, because we caused
a lot of trouble for all of you.
And happy
because we got to know a great man
like Babulal Bhatia
in just one night.
Long live Babulal Bhatia.
Long live Babulal Bhatia.
Long live Babulal Bhatia.
The only reason
we stand before you today is him.
He not only reminded us of our power
but also opened our eyes
to the idea of give-and-take.
And he taught us...
And Hunny opened my eyes.
That is why we want to apologize
for one more thing.
Choocha...
You see, we drove Hunny's
odd-numbered car
on a day designated for
even numbers only.
So I request Mr. Bhatia
to add a fine of 2000 to
the amount of 100 million.
Thank you, love you all.
Sure, sure.
Long live Babulal Bhatia.
Long live Babulal Bhatia.
Long live Babulal Bhatia.
Long live Babulal Bhatia.
Welcome
Here you go, Son.
I have fulfilled my promise.
Don't forget your promise.
Sir, we will always remember
what you have done with us.
And we hope
you won't forget us either.
Goodbye.
- Sir, this side.
- Please, sir...
Goodbye.
Goodbye.
- Excuse me, sir.
- Mr. Bhatia, this way.
- One more shot, sir.
- This side...
Sir, excuse me, sir.
Sir, just one more question.
- Hello?
- Hello, yes?
- What, a police raid?
- Hello?
- Where? Are you sure?
- Really?
- I'll reach there.
- Okay, okay.
"They are the Rambos of their street."
"It doesn't matter
what people say to them."
The police have raided
Tidda's den, sir.
In fact, they've raided all
the lottery dens.
"Let them be."
"Let them soak themselves
in the surroundings."
"Come on, check them out."
"They're slackers."
"They're slackers."
Go inside.
The media may have cleared you
but you'll end up in jail some day.
Leave us alone
and forget Priya.
"I'm lost on the path"
"that leads to finding myself."
"I'm lost in my own distress"
"and in unknown dreams."
"Where do I hide the treasure"
"of all these memories?"
"What do I do"
"with these uncontrollable tears?"
"I want to pour my heart out..."
Sorry, Daddy.
I am sorry, Son.
It's all my fault.
"Let the night pass..."
If you're ashamed of being
a sweet maker's son,
then let's change that.
Do whatever you like
but don't do anything illegal.
Never do anything illegal.
"The morning will be beautiful."
Like father, like son.
Go hang out more with that vagabond Hunny.
Police, crime...
You've dragged us into
such a mess...
Look at that.
Speak of the devil, and here he is.
Here...
I beg of you.
Leave us alone.
Let my son be.
I don't know about your family.
But because of you,
he has tarnished our reputation.
"Let the night pass..."
As if we were very honorable
to begin with.
- Hunny, wait.
- Come back
or I'll make sure you
never forget your manners.
You keep changing the light bulb.
Fools, all of them...
"There will be a morning."
Listen.
Your mother is right.
Stop hanging around me.
Would you stop if your
mom told you that?
Mothers don't know about
our friendship.
They'll never understand.
They aren't wrong,
but neither are we.
And it's not me.
But you, who hangs around me.
May I ask you something?
Why did you have the
lottery dens raided?
With the lottery, our status
in college is also finished.
Remember, you once said,
"What if one day I
stop seeing dreams?
What will we do then?"
Yes.
Then what did I say?
You must've hit me, for sure.
Yes, I did,
but I also said
that once this gift runs its course
God will give us
a new gift automatically.
And that's what happened.
Exactly. Let the college status go.
We'll build it again.
Bro, you've got a harsh tongue.
But you're soft at heart.
Dude.
It's Changu and Mangu.
We're done for if they catch us.
Choocha, it's me.
I'm not Choocha.
You?
How did you know that we are here?
Bro, an addict is found
at one of two places,
the den or jail.
We didn't go to jail,
so we thought you would be
here at the zoo.
We started all this together.
We'll get through it together.
"That's our life's philosophy, bro."
"Even if life is in the pits,
we'll make do."
"We'll find a way out together"
"even if we're completely broke."
"You're my best friend, after all."
Guys, shall I leave?
"You're my best friend, after all."
Zafar, we aren't completely free yet.
We still have to deal with Bholi.
And she won't let us live in peace
until we find the treasure.
Even if she is sent to jail.
I know.
It's not just about Bholi.
If the minister finds out
about what we did to him...
What are we waiting for then?
Not like this.
We have to figure out the riddle first.
The tigress is here,
let's start with the cave.
Which cave? Where is it?
There are thousands of tunnels in Delhi.
Man, this is even more
complicated than the dream.
Maybe another dream?
I mean, premonition.
Curses on all of you.
When I'm not sleepy
you force me to sleep.
When I am sleepy
you dip my fingers in hot tea.
We have no time to sleep.
Tell us where the cave is.
Up my arse.
Come find the treasure.
He is still so vulgar.
Let me go to the toilet.
Lali, go with him.
He'll fall asleep inside.
Let me at least poop
in peace, dude.
Yeah, man. Have you lost it?
You want me to watch as
Choocha poops?
Spray this deodorant,
but don't let him sleep.
Hold your breath if you must.
I might die if I don't breathe,
but I'll definitely die if I do.
I should've let Bholi take my eyes
than live to see this day.
Go.
Hey.
Guys, I saw something.
Dude...
I saw...
I saw Lali holding
the tiger cub in his arms
and walking ahead of us
in the tiger cage.
And then
we enter a tunnel...
And then the same cave,
and tiger...
And then...
Then...
That's it.
Did you really see it, or are
you again...
I saw it, Zafar, I swear.
Tiger cub?
I sold it already.
It must be on its way to
China by now.
Madam, if Lali doesn't hold
the cub in his hands,
the treasure will slip
out of our hands.
If you want the treasure, we need the cub.
Okay, I'll try and stop it.
Call Chang, pay double.
Ask him to return the tiger cub.
Bro, what did she say?
She's bringing it.
May his soul rest in peace.
May his soul rest in peace.
May his soul rest in peace.
May his soul rest in peace.
May his soul rest in peace.
May his soul rest in peace.
May his soul rest in peace.
Mr. Bhatia,
I would've come to you...
May his soul rest in peace.
May his soul rest in peace.
Just answer my questions
with a yes or no.
Did you meet the chief minister?
Are those boys involved in this?
Get the car ready. Come on. Hurry up.
I've lost millions
because of you and
your four idiots, Bholi.
On top of it all
you took me for granted.
That hurts the most.
You know what I can do to you all.
Why, then?
Why did you do this?
Please give me a good reason.
Can we...
Can we talk in private?
Can we talk in private?
Future.
You've gone bonkers, Bholi.
In politics
there is place for thugs,
but not for fools.
Forget your hopes for
an election ticket.
Treasure.
Bholi, my dear...
What is wrong with you?
How could you believe
those boys' idiotic stories?
Belief makes the world
go around, Mr. Bhatia.
If you believe in it,
then even trash can be a treasure.
And If you don't,
even treasure is trash.
And what if there is no treasure?
Then shoot me for real.
Hurry up, dude.
Pandit.
Lali.
We're preparing as if we're
going to look for lost treasure.
We really are going to
look for treasure.
Here...
Here's your tiger cub.
What's next?
Tiger in Lali's lap...
Lali, hold the cub in your arms.
Take it, dude.
Come here. Good boy.
Come, come to Daddy.
- Don't bite Daddy.
- Just hold it.
Now we have the cub.
Where is the tunnel?
Right here.
The tigress was digging here last night.
Dude,
promise me that you'll never
bring me in your dreams again.
- Okay.
- Hold on.
We also need two demons.
Can there be demons
worse than the two of you?
There are.
Changu and Mangu.
Bro, if this tigress is involved
then they have to be the two demons.
- But, madam...
- Shut up, or I'll pack you off to China.
- Yes, ma'am...
- Come on.
You?
How come you're here?
The same reason you are.
What do you mean?
We're coming with you.
- Neetu ma'am.
- Neetu...
Baby.
Neetu, are you mad?
Zafar, are only madmen allowed there?
In that case just send him.
Hey, this isn't some
underground party.
There's a hungry tigress there.
She'll eat us alive at the
first opportunity.
Tiger or dinosaur,
we're coming, and that's that.
Have you ever considered
what happens to us?
We barely had a year of peace
and then we were back to square one.
Enough is enough.
Either we're in this together,
or not at all.
Yes. Take us with you.
Or end everything before you go.
I'll be weaker if you're with us.
Go on, take the girls with us.
- We could do with the extra hands.
- Yes.
Eddie boy,
give the girls a pan and a spade.
Madam, this is a personal matter...
Let it be.
Come.
Neetu.
Come, Simran.
Come live your life.
"Who are you waiting for?"
"Here I am."
Don't add to the weight, man.
Are you ready, young man?
Choocha.
I may not have the chance to ask later.
I was wondering
how you came into being.
As in, how did you come
into this world?
Pandit,
even I asked my father once
where I've come from.
So he told me a story.
Oh, really?
Your dad is a storyteller, too?
He's an avid storyteller.
He's taken after me.
But I don't understand
some of his stories.
Tell me if you do.
Here's the story.
My father said
that once like us,
he was passing through a jungle.
There he saw me,
the lovable Choocha.
I was stuck to a witch's stomach.
The moment my father saw me
he fell in love.
He told the witch, "Hey, witch."
Give me this lovable Choocha,
who is stuck to your stomach."
Stop there, new-age Homer.
What's this nonsense?
Are you out of your mind?
Look, Bholi, I've told you before.
Don't interrupt me in the
middle of a story.
I don't like it.
So what was I telling you, Pandit?
- The witch's stomach...
- Yes.
So the witch said,
"I'll give you my lovable Choocha
on one condition.
You must marry me first."
My father thought about it
but then married the witch,
just for me.
Then he brought the witch and me
to A2/16, Geeta Colony.
But I never understood one thing.
Why does my mother start hitting me
with her sandals
when I ask Dad about where the witch is?
I must meet your father, dude.
Could be difficult.
He doesn't meet anybody
and everybody.
Shit.
Flashlight.
Dude,
I saw something just like this.
What is this place?
This is Delhi, madam.
As above, so below.
Like metro.
Hey, stop.
Don't let him run.
You can't even hold on to a cub.
- Come on, Lali...
- Catch him.
Zafar, catch him.
- This way.
- Catch him.
Where did he go?
Mummy!
Hold on. Be still, be still. Don't run.
Hey there, little friend...
Nice tigress.
- Shut up.
- You're a good tigress. Please...
We'll feed you twenty chicken.
Zafar.
- Hunny...
- Yes?
- There's a way out there.
- Where?
The tunnel to the left, there.
Switch off your lights somehow.
There's a better chance of
getting out in the darkness.
Switch off, switch off, everyone.
Now let's leave one by one.
Oh, no, no. No. No.
No, not there.
Choocha, you'll get us killed.
Yes, yes.
A bit to the left.
To the right now.
Put the lights back on.
We're all good now.
Scratch a bit under
the t-shirt...
Look, Life of Chu is on.
This feels great.
- Hunny.
- Yes?
Why is the tigress staring at you?
Down.
God bless you.
Zafar,
she's not staring at me...
Thank God your mother
doesn't cut your nails.
Choocha... Choocha.
Pandit, is that your hand?
No, Bholi. My hands are in my pockets.
That's Lali.
This way.
That's enough.
Thanks, dude.
I've got to go now.
Take care of your mom, okay?
This is what happens when
you eat her food.
Now she's going to eat you.
Bro, as you sow
so shall you reap.
Is there a magic lamp there?
"Loafers, wastrels, slacker!"
"Loafers, wastrels, slacker!"
"Loafers, wastrels, slacker!"
"Loafers, wastrels, slacker!"
"Loafers, wastrels, slacker!"
"Loafers, wastrels, slacker!"Slackers."
"Loafers, wastrels, slacker!"
- This way.
- "Loafers, wastrels, slacker!"
"The slackers are on the hunt,
like snakes chasing their prey."
"Their lives are messed up,
but they're not giving up."
"They've got big questions,
but no answers."
"They're always deep in trouble,
but they have no cure."
"First, lottery and dreams,
and now "dj chu"."
"Who will pay for this mess?"
Priya...
Are you okay?
- Hunny.
- No...
- Never mind.
- Sure?
I found it. I found the treasure room.
- Come on.
- "It's a game of snakes-and-ladders,"
"there are such ups and downs."
"Loafers, wastrels, slacker!"
"Loafers, wastrels, slacker!"
"Keep your eyes open,
and dodge the incoming bullets."
Hey, you stopped a four run.
What did you get?
"Loafers, wastrels, slacker!"
"Loafers, wastrels, slacker!"
"She's out of jail."
"She's like dynamite."
"She's going to whip everyone in line."
"She's Bholi."
"The slackers are in trouble."
"They've got nothing."
"But she's going to make them pay."
"She's Bholi."
"They've been through Mughal forts"
"and several gutters."
"But there's no sign of any treasure."
"Loafers, wastrels, slacker!"
"Loafers, wastrels, slacker!"
"Loafers, wastrels, slacker!"
"Loafers, wastrels, slacker!"
"It's a game of Ludo,
there are such ups and downs."
"Loafers, wastrels, slacker!"
"Loafers, wastrels, slacker!"
Found anything?
Did you take it from a bin?
"It's a game of Ludo,
there are such ups and downs."
"Loafers, wastrels, slacker!"
"Loafers, wastrels, slacker!"
Zafar, between the Animal Kingdom
and the Mughal Empire,
we're stuck at Victoria's Secret.
What next?
Lali...
Enjoying your picnic in
the netherworld, are you?
Where is the damn treasure?
Start counting down.
If you don't find the treasure,
I'll bury all of you right here.
Priya.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. We'll try and
get you some fresh air.
That's why I asked you not to come.
But you refused to listen.
Everyone just does as they please.
One blackmails us with stares,
and the other with tears.
And we're just stuck in between.
Tiger, cave, snake,
demon, treasure...
Life has turned into one of
Grimms' fairy tales.
Hello, mayday.
Hello, mayday.
We've found the treasure.
We've won the battle,
over and out.
Mayday, mayday.
Idiot, is this your treasure?
Couldn't you see these rusted locks?
Don't you know the difference
between a cave and a warehouse?
Wow, madam.
You can see the locks
in this warehouse,
but can you not see the treasure
hidden in it?
Treasure?
These rolls of toilet paper,
jet sprays, TVs, refrigerators...
You call this a treasure?
I admit this is no
Mughal treasure.
But these are all branded
and brand new.
Altogether, these are worth
millions in the market.
So now you want me to go and sell
toilet rolls from door to door!
No, madam, that will take too long.
We need someone who can get us
the right price in the black market.
Mr. Bhatia, you might as well
embrace Bholi now.
We found the treasure.
Even I was stunned and
speechless for a few minutes.
Of course, how else would one react?
I had already made some
arrangements for you,
but you've saved me some
time and expenses.
But you'll have to help a little bit.
Sure.
- I'll meet and tell you.
- No, not you.
You stay there, tell me where to come.
Where are you?
The abandoned rail yard near
Tughlaqabad fort.
We found the treasure here.
Instead of Mughal treasure
you've raided my own hidden cache!
Move.
And you guys...
You've got stuck to me
like leeches.
First, you won off my
lotteries for years,
then you got the same
lottery dens shut down.
You made me pay the public
100 million rupees.
And now...
You can't get to know Babulal Bhatia
in just one night.
Got that?
I've built this empire on the
graves of thousands like you.
I can make you disappear in a jiffy
and nobody will notice.
Worthless vagabonds.
You think you can loot
my hard earned wealth?
You'll never lay a hand on
any of this, get it?
And neither will you.
Mr. Bhatia.
This time, I have proof
and witnesses.
And the culprit has confessed
to the crime as well.
Yes, sir. Had you come any later
you'd also have caught
a murder on camera.
Idiot, is this your treasure?
Couldn't you see these rusted locks?
Don't you know the difference
between a cave and a warehouse?
Wow, madam.
You can see the locks
in this warehouse,
but can you not see the treasure
hidden in it?
Treasure?
These rolls of toilet paper,
jet sprays, TVs, refrigerators...
You call this a treasure?
I admit this is no
Mughal treasure.
But these are all branded
and brand new.
Altogether, these are worth
millions in the market.
So now I'll go selling
toilet rolls from door to door?
No, madam, that will take too long.
We need someone who can get us
the right price in the black market.
89 dollars.
For toilet paper.
That's 6000 rupees for one roll.
Jet sprays
are for 400 dollars.
Pillows and mattresses
are for 1100 dollars.
What?
This stuff is from the YAMA scam
which was bought at inflated prices
and was never sent to the right place.
- You mean the games village scam?
- Yes.
Youth Athletic Meet, Asia. March 2014.
- And perpetrator was none other than...
- Babulal Bhatia.
Here it is...
"Babulal Bhatia, Secretary,
Ministry of Sports and Youth Affairs."
"2014-2015."
Exactly. There was a case
but not enough proof.
That's when the CM removed
him from his position.
What are you thinking, Bholi?
I'm thinking of taking it
to the next level.
Let's try hand at politics.
And... our debt?
Forgiven.
- Forgiven?
- Really?
- That's it.
- Dude!
Choocha.
This is Bholi here.
I have good news for Brijmohan.
Come on.
Catch him. Come on.
Mr. Bhatia.
You were right.
In politics, there is scope for thugs,
but not for fools.
In trying to pack me off
you've got yourself packed off.
One-way to jail.
How shameless! He was laughing.
Well done.
Sir.
Sir, what will the government
do with all this stuff?
I mean, if you want
we could sell it all
at subsidized rates.
That'll give us a job
and people will get goods at half price.
"We will welcome whoever comes."
"Whoever wants to leave may leave."
"Don't give us too much of attention."
"Don't teach us wisdom."
Send me a proper proposal.
Okay?
"Check them out."
Uncle, you'll have to do
one more thing.
- What?
- Give away the bride.
Because Bholi's parents
aren't around anymore.
Look.
We've already got a priest,
orchestra and a caterer.
Hunny will arrange the decorations.
You just go to the beauty parlor
and get ready like a bride.
I'll pick you up from there
on my horse
and we'll go to Goya on the
same horse, from the wedding.
Sir, give me a moment.
He's going to get slapped again.
Let me turn eighteen first.
Then we'll get married, all right?
What was that?
Not this, a French kiss.
"The slackers are here."
"Everyone is talking about them."
"Acting and business is in their blood."
"They're good at heart
but their choices are hi-fi."
"They are the Rambos of their street."
"It doesn't matter
what people say to them."
"They continue to have fun."
"Just let them be."
"Let them soak themselves
in the surroundings."
"Come, come, check them out."
"They are the slackers."
"Everything went for a toss when he
pretended to walk as if he's single."
"He keeps chasing girls."
"The neighbors are watching everything."
"They wonder why there are
no drums beating."
"He's acting too smart"
"yet he couldn't befriend any girl."
"The girls cheat him"
"calling him sweet."
"They keep calling him sweet."
"Everything went for a toss..."
"You look good when you dance."
"Everything went for a toss..."
"They wonder why there are
no drums beating."
"Take your steps slowly."
"Reveal all your secrets to me."
"Take a look at my biceps.
You reside in my heart."
"I've lost myself to you."
"She asks for my number."
"I see her in my dreams."
"Everything went for a toss..."
"You look good when you dance."
"Everything went for a toss..."
"They wonder why there are
no drums beating."
"Beats the drums harder
and reduce the kicks."
"Your moves are not up to the mark."
"You won someone over."
"You won a village belle's heart."
"I went to win someone over
but she won me over instead."
"I am her king and she is my queen."
"This poor girl"
"doesn't know her lover is a
hopeless romantic."
"Everything went for a toss..."
"You look good when you dance."
"Everything went for a toss..."
"They wonder why there are
no drums beating."
"Everything went for a toss..."
"You look good when you dance."
"Everything went for a toss..."
"They wonder why there are
no drums beating."
"Go die."
"He has fallen in love
and he's now after my life."
"He resides in my heart."
"I can't get enough of him."
"He keeps winking at me."
"I keep checking him out from my terrace."
"I keep checking him out."
"He keeps winking at me."
"I keep calling out his name."
"Let me drown in your love."
"I try to look for you in everyone."
"I am afraid I'll fall in love."
"Let me drown in your love."
"The moon is a witness
that I count stars while missing you."
"I am afraid I'll fall in love."
"Let me drown in your love."
"Let me drown in your love."
"I try to look for you in everyone."
"I am afraid I'll fall in love."
"Let me drown in your love."
"The moon is a witness
that I count stars while missing you."
"I am afraid I'll fall in love."
"Let me drown in your love."