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Full of Grace (2015)
Hail Mary...
Full of grace. The Lord is with thee. Send word to Peter. It's time. Peter. Peter. Peter. Peter. Where did we lose you? Oh. I'm sorry. I... I was somewhere else. Do you have anything to say about this matter? Andrew and I have been in Pontus for weeks listening to these arguments and your... Interpretations of the truth. Can any one of you here besides Andrew and I say that you were with Christ when he spoke of these things? You know we were not. And you know that we did not follow cleverly invented stories when we told you about the power and the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. And we were eyewitnesses to his majesty. Prophecy never found its origin in the will of men, but men speak from God as they are carried along by the Spirit. I understand your arguments. I... I understand your concerns, but... we cannot risk interpreting these things falsely. We cannot risk... leading his flock astray. We understand all this, but it is almost ten years since he left you. The church is growing. Our people need guidance, organization. Decisions must be made. We cannot wait on these matters, or our flock will be led astray by others. If I am not allowed to interpret, then you must interpret for us, Peter. There are many things that he didn't instruct us. But he gave you the authority over building and leading his church. You must give us the answers. We will follow you, Peter, but you must tell us what direction to go. I am sorry, brothers. I must leave. Leave? To where? There are important issues at stake. Decisions must be made. The church in Pontus depends on it. I'm sorry. I have to go. Andrew. I'm sorry. Do not be, Peter. You must go to her. Someone will talk to... You're okay staying behind? Go. I will continue the conversation until your return. Thank you, Andrew. Hear now, you house of David. Is it not enough to try the patience of men? Will you also try the patience of my God? Therefore, the Lord himself will give you a sign. The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and you will call him Immanuel. But he gave you the authority over building and leading his church. The church is growing. You must give us the answers. Our people need guidance, organization. The church is growing. Decisions must be made. Guidance, organization... We cannot wait on these matters. Decisions must be... Or our flock will be led astray by others. We cannot wait on these matters. If I am not allowed to interpret, then you must interpret for us, Peter. We will follow you, Peter, but you must tell us what direction to go. Mm-hmm. Mmm. Have more. It's been a long journey. Mmm. Thank you, Zara. How's your family? Sometimes I feel they are more understanding of the situation than I am. How long has it been? Too long. I pray for them every day. You must give them my love when you see them next. I will. So tell me, what has been happening in the world? Did you not receive my letter? I have, but I prefer hearing you talk about it. The movement continues to grow. More are saved with every teaching, every healing. Paul and Barnabas are converting Gentiles in Antioch. It's my feeling that this is just the beginning of... God calling us to all the corners of the world. Even as you speak of salvation, there is a heavy burden on your heart, my son. I left Andrew in Pontus. There are difficult issues that we need to sort. It seems that the longer that these men spend time in their faith, the more they depart from the truth. They argue about all things that they don't understand, and each day, there are new... Texts on the truth from those that should have no claims. And what do they claim? There are those that claim that the Lord was never a man and only a spirit, and there's others that preach the lack of authority of the commandments and promote all forms of perversions on the flesh. There are those that deny the Trinity and the real presence of Christ among us. And then there are those who claim to be brothers of the Lord or sisters of the Lord... Even wives of the Lord. Brothers and sisters of the Lord? Of all people, I would imagine I would have insight on that. And there are those that I preach and taught that pick and choose the words of Christ to their own liking. I find myself waking up at night in cold sweats wondering if we've done something wrong. He wanted his church built on the rock. And what have I done? I have gathered... Confused men who organize to debate and philosophize his words. I'm not a great debater. I'm not a philosopher. I believe that is precisely why he chose you. Perhaps it's time to rest. The church cannot rest, not now. Do not be afraid. You have found favor with the Lord. The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Even Elizabeth will conceive a son in her old age, for nothing is impossible with God. She's put on a brave face, but she's not been well. The last few weeks have been difficult for her. Is it true what they say about your escape from prison? Hmm. Depends on what they say. I heard that you were chained and surrounded by soldiers while awaiting your trial, yet in the middle of the night, the room became ablaze with a light that blinded your captors, and an angel of the Lord descended upon you. The chains fell from your wrist, and the angel escorted you out of prison before anyone was aware of your escape. Yes, it happened as you say. What is it, Zara? It's just... Weren't you surprised by a miracle like that? Are you surprised by miracles? Yes. But I've only heard of them. Maybe I wouldn't be so surprised if I saw them with my own eyes. I'll prepare your room. Thank you, Zara. When I had the strength, I walked this path every day. It helps me remember everything that he has done for us. I woke up this morning with our conversation on my heart. Do you remember what it was like in those early days, crowds of temple worshippers coming out to see what was happening? Mm-hmm. They did not understand what they were seeing and hearing. Do you remember your boldness when you addressed them? Mm-hmm. I remember that day. I remember thinking they would rush us and kill us on the spot. And yet they didn't. They came by the thousands to be baptized. I thought... We thought they would never stop. Hmm. People brought their sick into the streets, laid them on beds and mats just so that your shadow might fall upon them as you passed by. They used to live with the truth in their hearts. Now they live with... they try to live with the truth in their heads. They try to make sense of things they were never meant to understand. They're growing weary of miracles. They'd rather pick apart the living word until their minds are exhausted. They demand something new, even greater signs that we really do hold the truth. The frailties of our humanity, to never be satisfied, to always be seeking, perhaps that is what God used as our greatest strength... holes in our hearts so big, only he can fill them. The men I speak of know what our Lord has to offer, and yet they choose to be swayed every way the wind blows. What would you say to them? I would say that they know the truth, but they do not know him. Take that one. Isn't this beautiful? When I take this walk to remember him like this, I find that all the other complications in life disappear. No, it is beautiful. The world out there doesn't care about that sentiment. Chaos reigns, and people are persecuted. I wish it was as easy to solve their problems with a walk. It's not the reality we're in. He never told us it was going to be an easy road. Perhaps remembering where it all began will help you figure out where it ends. Master, we have worked hard all night, and we haven't caught anything, but because you say so, I will let down the nets. Go away from me, Lord. I am a sinful man. Sorry to disturb you. Oh, no, it's okay. I was... somewhere else. It's a sweet drink, a gift from visitors from the East. Thank you. Here, please, come sit. Can I ask you a question? Of course. You were just a child when all this began. You never met him. You never heard him speak. You never even saw him from afar. Yet you... have more faith than most people. How is that possible? My mother died in childbirth, my father soon after. I was lost, alone, but Mary took me in as her own. She cared for me. She loved me when she didn't have to. She has told me all the stories, but that is not what makes me believe. When I look into her eyes, when I see how she lives, that's how I know it's all true. I see him in her. I hear him because of her. Mm. Mm. Mother, how do you feel? It won't be long. I can hear the faint choir of the angels. I sent word to the others. Have I ever told you what it was like for me in the beginning? No. I would like to hear it. It was as if a bright light from the very throne room of heaven was shining directly upon me, following me everywhere I went, and yet, everywhere else, it was darkness... Darkness of the kind I had never known before... Darkness that only this light could expose. And it was so lonely in the light. But the light was the only comfort I had. Why didn't you tell them? Faith is not about explaining things. It is about living and breathing and walking in that light that is upon us. But we will suffer in the light. At times, our souls will be squeezed dry down to the very deepest roots. We will wither and grow weary to where we cannot take one step more. The light will fade to the faintest glimmer, nothing more than a grain of sand on the shore. But the light will never disappear. This walk of faith comes with a promise... The promise that we will never be abandoned. Joseph, son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus because he will save his people from their sins. - Ah. - Brother, how are you? Better now. How is mother? Won't be long. - Peter. - Simon. - It's been a long journey, huh? - Yeah. It's good to see you. Okay, come, come, please. John, I wanted to apologize for not speaking with you after your brother's death. I had to leave the city immediately, but I wanted to be with you as you mourned. He has been reunited with the Lord. We must rejoice, brother. All of us should be so fortunate to die with our hearts singing praises to God in front of unbelievers. You are right. Brother James, may the Lord bless you and keep you, and may you rejoice in the Lord's presence, and may God give us the strength and power and courage to die as you did. Brother James, please, pray for us. Thank you. There are urgent matters that we must discuss. We've all read Paul's letters, and from Jerusalem to Pontus, people are looking for answers. Pagan converts continue to disobey the law and lead others astray in the name of our Lord. I am aware of the problems in Jerusalem. I have just come from Pontus. So, then, what should be done? Paul says that Gentiles should not have to follow the rules and customs to receive the Spirit and be saved. So they are allowed to turn their back on the law and tradition? Peter, it's outrageous. You have seen with your own eyes what happens when you turn your back on the law and tradition. What Paul is saying is that those who do not understand our laws and traditions and customs, should they not be allowed to hear the good news? It is for them as much as it is for us. If our traditions and customs keep them from understanding, is that not a wall? Walls to what, Peter? Walls to a holy life? These men and women have been saved by the grace of God, so does not the same grace of God continue to save them, no matter what they do? There is no limit in grace, I agree, but what is grace if you've thrown out truth? I tell you, brothers, this concerns me. We must be more vigilant. I fear the day that we become a slogan, an institution led by wicked men to further their own gains or that they may use this cause to hurt others as many of my zealot brothers and I have done before. Peter, when you are dead and buried, who will be there to keep straight the path? So what would you have us do, Simon? Stop preaching? I don't know, but I feel that the divide has become too great between Jewish and Gentile believer. We have all held the law to its entirety. We have all been circumcised, observing the rules of purification. We all spend time in the temple for morning and afternoon prayers. It is true that these things are no longer required for salvation, but what will the Gentiles have when they are faced with the enemy's lies or they are deceived by another leader's trickery or words? Peter, you cannot deny that you have heard these disturbing rumors of wayward followers who are using our sacred ceremonies as gatherings to sexual perversions and infant sacrifices. You see what happens when they turn their back on the law and tradition. They lack knowledge of how to live daily in the light of truth. I am not saying that these men have not received the Holy Spirit, but I ask and question this: what happens after they receive the Spirit, and how may our traditions instruct them so that they may not stray from the Spirit? If they have truly received the Spirit, then why would they throw away the truth and the law? They don't throw it out. They never understood it in the first place. Peter, please, what do you say to this? There was a beginning to all this. How did we get here? How did this start for each of us? There was no plan for this. Did he care about the law? Did he care about traditions? Did he say that love is the greatest law? I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't have the answers. I don't have the answers for Pontus. I don't have the answers for Jerusalem. And I... I don't have answers for any of us. Peter, we love you. We are brothers in this. We will wait on you, but we need you to lead us. If we don't deal with this now, then anyone with a charismatic smile and carefully plotted out words can distract their own crowds for personal gain. It will only be the very beginning to the troubles with our church. How did this start for each of us? That is precisely why he chose you. We will wait on you. There was a beginning to all this. - But we need you to lead us. - I see him in her. Peter, where did we lose you? You must give us the answers. Peter... Do you still speak with the Lord? Mary, what are you doing out of bed? Sit, my son. Sit. The bed won't save me. My time is coming. We didn't mean to wake you. Is it much the same heard in Pontus these days? In Pontus, in Jerusalem, everywhere we go. Now do you see? We're lost. Do you think the Lord has left you? Peter, he has gone away so we will find him. He has gone away so we will seek him. I don't understand. I remember him as a boy in temple. For three days, my heart was broken, for I thought I had lost him forever. It was as if I had lost a piece of my own soul. But when he was found, he had been speaking amongst scholars and rabbis. He had not been lost. He had gone to his Father's house, and he knew and expected me to find him there. Listen. In the stillness, in the silence, he calls me once more to his Father's house. But where does he call you? Peter, when you are still... Where does he call you? To the sea. He calls me to the sea. Master, we have worked hard all night, and we haven't caught anything, but because you say so, I will let down the nets. Go away from me, Lord. I am a sinful man. Yes, Lord. You know that I love you. Lord, you know that I love you. Lord, you know all things. You know that I love you. You doubt yourself these days, my son. You ask yourself if you have what it takes to lead the way. The answer is no, you do not. But you are not leading, are you? You are following. He has already gone before you. The path has already been set. Follow it. Seek him in all things, and failure will be impossible. Take it. It's time. I did not want you all to go through the trouble of being here at this late hour. But now, seeing all your faces has brought me great joy. Perhaps you will entertain the little wisdom I have to offer. I have been remembering the first moment I encountered him. I've been remembering the first moment I heard the angel's word. Even after the angel spoke to me, I was deeply disturbed, for how could this be? But in my heart, I had already heard the answer. Nothing is impossible with God. I remember feeling more alive than I ever had before. It was as if every day before that day, I had been living in some sort of a half life. I can still feel the sun on my face from that day... The smell of the trees, the dirt surrounding me. The sound of the birds still sings in my head. Everything about the world changed on that day. I have remembered that day every day. The years have continued on. But have you forgotten, my children? Have you forgotten the first time you felt his gaze? Do you not keep that moment in your heart? Do you not treasure it every day? You cannot let the weight of this world outshine the light that you carry within. For nine month, his heart beat with mine. My own flesh and blood, everything of him in me and me in him. You were not there the night that he was born. The whole world for all eternity was waiting for that moment. Perhaps you do not believe that he exists in you in this same way. When you said yes to Christ, you brought him forth in your heart into the world, your heart beating with his for eternity. Do you think your doubts and fears are unique to you today? They are not. The question is not whether we will struggle. We will struggle greatly. The question is, to whom do we look to in the struggle? When he took the bread into his hands, giving himself to all of humanity, those hands were worn-down hands by splintered wood day after day. Those were the same hands that feebly searched for its mother's breast, same as you all did in the blindness of your first days. Those were the hands that laid upon the sick to heal, that raised the dead. He gave himself from beginning to end, through trampled dust and scores of blood. But remember this. If our heart beats with the Lord's, then those same hands are our hands. That same flesh and blood is our flesh and blood. The suffering that Christ suffered is our suffering. Oh, my children, you know how much I suffered. When I fled to Egypt with this tiny child and Joseph, do you know the sadness that still occupies till this very day a corner of my heart for all those children that were killed as Herod sought to stop the prophecy? Be thankful you were not present when the crying and laughter of children went silent and was replaced by only the mournful wails of heartbroken mothers. We will suffer as we walk with the Lord. That is one thing I know for sure. My children, you have already suffered with him. Do you remember how your fears and doubts were confirmed when you saw him on the cross, when you saw him die? I saw myself die in that moment with my son. Do you understand that from the moment I looked upon his body in that tiny cave in Bethlehem that I had been following behind him all the way to the end marked with blood and death? When the stone was rolled in front of the tomb, our world torn down by confusion and doubts so great, you hid in the darkness, longing for it to be the end of your life... We still had dust on our sandals and on our clothes from the road where they flung him down. Angry shout of the crowd flooded our ears. We still had the smell of blood in our nostrils, pouring out of his head, his feet, his hands. And yet, three days later, Mary Magdalene, inconsolable, longing to see him once more, found the empty tomb, and all things were made new. Never again did the sun rise in the same way. Never again did you hear a song with the same meaning. Our eyes and ears have been removed and replaced by the sight and hearing of the Lord. That is the hope and life we found in Christ risen. When I look at all of you, all my children, there is only one face I see. It is the Lord's face. It is the face of my son, risen, alive, and breathing... As if he himself was right in front of me. My children, if you do nothing more in this life, remember the moment he first looked upon you. Your soul rejoiced, for salvation was upon you. Darkness was lifted, and you saw the great light. Remember that moment, and everything you do will glorify the Lord. Peace be with you. Do not be sad for me. Like him, I will never leave you. I will be with you until the end of days. Remember when we took our walks in the hills in the early light of dawn? We spoke of such wonderful things. Oh, how I long to take those walks with you once more. Her breathing has slowed. It will be soon now. She will rise straight into the arms of our Lord. There will be nothing like it ever again in this world. Remember, this is not the end. We thank you, our Father, for the holy vine of David, your servant, made known to us through Jesus, your servant. To you be the glory forever. Kyrie Eleison Christe Eleison Kyrie Thank you, our Father, for the life and knowledge made known to us through Jesus, your servant. To you be the glory forever. Eleison Christe Even as this bread was scattered over the hills and brought together... To make one... Eleison So let your church be gathered from the ends of the earth into your kingdom. Kyrie Eleison Kyrie For yours is the glory and the power... Through Jesus Christ forever. Eleison My son, waste not a moment more. Give me my wings so that my soul can fly to you. Spiritui Sancto Honor sit Qui In mente Ursule Virginis Virginalem Turbam Velut Columbas Collegit Unde ipsa patriam suam Sicut Abraham reliquit Et etiam propter Amplexionem Agni Desponsationem Viri sibi What now? We do exactly what she did. We remember the good grace that brought us here today. And we listen, we follow, and we trust. Come. It's time to tell the world the good news. You were formed in me, the light in the darkness. Our hearts beat as one together, never separated, even in death. My own soul has rejoiced, has been saddened, been crushed, bruised, bloodied, killed, and resurrected. |
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