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Funny Ha Ha (2012)
Hi.
Hi, how you doing? All right. Uh, you do tattoos, huh? This is the place, yeah. Wanna get tattooed? Yeah, I was thinking about getting a tattoo. You know what you want to get? Uh, no. But I... I'm thinking about it right now. You wanna get like a tribal, floral, Celtic designs, animal... What's... What's the one with like the interlacing stuff? The Celtic designs. Yeah? That seems good. Here, let me give you a book on that you can look at it. Oh, great. Do you have any tattoos now? No, no. This is it, number one. This your first one, huh? Yeah. And you really haven't thought about what you want? Oh, I've thought about it. But you don't know what you want to get. How about the cow. Cow? It's nice. Where's it hurt the least? Do you know? The first one hurts the most. The first one's gonna hurt the most. Really? Yeah, it hurts anyplace you get it. Even if... I mean, ok, uh... mmm. I should tell you, I'm a little bit drunk. Oh, yeah, you don't want to get it if you're drunk. No? But won't that dull the pain? No, that'd... no, you can't sit still when you... You may throw up all over me. Oh, I wouldn't do that. Hell yeah, I'm tellin' ya, it happens, so, you know, and you're gonna move around way too much, and it's gonna be difficult for me to tattoo you. Is that... is it legal? I mean, can you... Yeah, you can tattoo somebody if they're... but I won't. Because it's just too difficult. Too many headaches. It's gonna be worse than a headache you have tomorrow morning for me to tattoo you now if you're drunk. Tattoo. Where's all your friends today? Uh... uh, they're... Hmm, I don't know. Well, your friends won't let you get tattooed if you're out drunk. No. You always get the wrong thing. It's there for the rest of your life. Hi. Hi. Hey, what's goin' on? Not much, how are you? Fine. Are you really busy? Hold on one second, let me just send this thing. Now I'm done. Uh, I don't know. Well, did you hear I got fired? What? Really? Yeah. Like, fired? Yeah, fired. Wow. What did you do? That's crazy. Yeah, it's... it's crazy. It was kind of embarrassing, actually. I went in to ask for a raise... Uh-huh. And you got fired for asking for a raise? Yeah. Wow. Did you... What'd you just... huh. How? I still don't... I don't get it. Yeah, no, no, I know. I went in there and I was like, asking for this raise, and the guy was like, "Marnie, do you like working here?" And I was like, "uh, y-yes." Wow. You know, I was too... Yeah, it's too late at that point. It's too late, yeah. So, I'm fired. So what, what are you doing now? Uh, I am just wandering the earth, you know? And uh, I guess I'm looking for a job. I mean, you guys aren't hiring are you? No. We're looking for programmers and stuff, but... Yeah, I can't do that. Yeah, you don't wanna work here. No? No. You don't wanna work with me, either. Really? Why? Uh, I don't know, I can be over-demanding, I think. Yeah. Marnie! Hey, Marnie. Hi. Hey! What's up? Gimme a hug. Ah! Hi. What are ya doin'? I don't know, just, you know, walkin'. You should come with to dinner with us. We're on our way to dinner. What? Yeah, come on. What do you have to do? What's in the bag? Not too much. No, just groceries. Ok, I'll come. Day in, day out, 10 hours in front of the monitor, fixing some crap that some idiot broke. That sounds good. No, it's boring as hell, man. I wish I was you. I wish I had your lifestyle. Why? What do you mean? I don't know, you're just bopping along, and, you know, friends pick you up and we're going to dinner. It just seems spontaneous, more... Yeah, well, c'mon, you're going to dinner, too. I know, but this is... For us, this is just what we're doing tonight. You know, we got this plan made in advance, it's not spontaneous at all. This is a commitment that we have. It's excitement-packed. Who are these people? I mean, what... Well, could be exciting, I suppose, I don't know. They're Travis' girlfriend's engineering student friends. Oh, great! Yeah, see? Fantastic. Travis' girlfriend's engineering student friends? I don't know, it doesn't sound that exciting to me. Well, you know, you just have to try. Yeah, come on, it'll be like... Don't be so anti-social. It'll be a spontaneous adventure. We'll get some drinks... Like my life. And see if it gets interesting. You can break it down engineering-style and stuff. Hi. Hi. You guys ready? Lori and Travis actually aren't here yet. So you guys maybe wanna come in? Sorry we're kinda disorganized. Hi, I'm Wyatt. Hey. Dave. Hi, I'm Marnie. Wyatt. Nice to meet you. Hey, have a seat. This is Laurie on the phone. She... she says they want to meet us at the restaurant now. We don't know where we're going yet. What restaurant? Uh, yeah, let me find out. Hold on. Sorry, we're really disorganized. It's ok. Oh, so have you guys all met? We met at the... Yeah, we saw her at the door. I just kind of butted my way in. It's Marnie, right? Yeah. I'm Dave. Yeah, we just picked up Marnie along the way. She was walking outside of our apartment. Real... oh, ok. How do you guys know each other? Uh, we went to school together. Think I'm gonna check on Laurie, see what's going on. I don't know, I mean what... So, you guys went to school together... Do you have Laurie? Yeah, here, here, wait. Let me talk to Rachel, ok? I feel out of place. In my... In my own friend's place. Well, I don't live here, actually. Let me go help Rachel. Is Travis being difficult? Yeah? Animal zodiac. What is your year? Uh, monkey. So, sometimes you can be a little ill-tempered. Really? Me? Yeah. And you'll have an opinion about it. Pot calling the kettle black. It's rougher. It's rougher. I'm the year of the rat. The rat! Oh! Oh, Marnie, I'm so sorry! No, it's ok. Look, it's all right. Oh, Jesus, I'm really... No, don't worry. It's totally, totally fine. Oh, I'm... and I got it all over your shirt. Don't worry about it. Listen, I'm just out of control. I don't know what happened. It's fine. Look, you fixed it. You sure? Yeah, I'm sorry about that. You all right? Yeah. Can you give me a ride to the dentist tomorrow? Oh, yeah, sure. What time? 1:00? Wait, no, no, I can't do that. I'm supposed to have lunch with Alex tomorrow. Oh, the old pep talk? Yeah, yeah, try and cheer him up a little bit, you know. That's cool. I'll find some other way. Is something wrong with Alex? No, there's nothing wrong with him, exactly. He's just going through kind of a hard time. Yeah, him and Nina broke up. Really? When? It's like a week ago or something. I just saw him yesterday and he didn't say anything. Probably thought that you already knew about it. I'm gonna go use the bathroom. Dude, let's just rent a movie. Hi. Hey. You ok? Yeah, I'm ok. I'm... But... I don't know, I'm... I'm in love with Alex, and I... I mean, I'm not in love with him, but I'm... But I have some problem with him. You have some... You like Alex. Yeah. Well, that's cool. Well, no, no, it's not. It's not. I don't know. So... where do you guys stand? I mean, how is it bad? Do you wanna go stand over there for a minute? Uh-huh, lets go. So, I don't know, things stand that he's been fucking going out with Nina forever of course, and... And they're... I did try to... Like this one time, I was drunk and I tried to basically tell him he should be with me. It was bad, you know? Well, he was going out with Nina. I know, of course, yeah, but it was just... I could tell, you know? It was just bad. You know, he's not going out with Nina anymore. I know. Things will be different. No! But don't... Don't tell me that, you know? The last thing I need to hear is... I can't... It's ok. You never know what's gonna happen. But I do. But it's already... You know, it's already ruined. It's just, I... Listen, me and Dave, we... We didn't start off like stable and I didn't know what was going to happen, and I took a chance. Really? And it turned out pretty good, you know, but... I know. I mean, it's just... It's not... it's not that it's the only thing I... I mean, I don't think about it so much any more at all, and now I find out about this. You never know what's gonna happen, you really don't. You really, really don't. I mean... You and Dave are so awesome, you know? I mean... Thank you. That's what it's all about. Hey, what are you ladies up to over here? There he is. I was just telling Rachel how great you guys are. Aww... And also, I was telling Rachel that I like Alex. Oh, you mean you like Alex? Yeah. Ah, that's great. That's fantastic. No, no, it's not, you know? No, it is. No, I mean, it's... You know, it's obvious. It all sort of... It's obvious? No, it's not obvious. Like I didn't already know, but I mean, it sorta makes sense, you know what I mean? I mean, you know, you guys make a great couple. No. No. No, it's not... No, come on! It's a great... It's not a terrible thing. Ooh, this is the best night of the summer, man. This is fucking fantastic. I can't believe, you know... I don't know, just things is... This shit is real, man. We got Marnie here, we got beer, we got food. You know, life is good. You are drunk. You are drunk. That's true. Rachel is drunk. I'm not wasted. You drove here. You're not wasted. You're responsible. Yeah, you're drunk. That's true. Oh, Marnie, how are you? You look sad. Well... yeah. I mean, I don't know, it's not the best night of my summer. Ah, well, it should be. You just... malnutrition. You need some food in you. I have malnutrition? Yeah... no, look, I've got Anthony's hummus here. I'm gonna hook you up. I don't need hummus, Dave. I mean... Yeah, hummus really doesn't solve that many problems, Dave. You underestimate the value of a good meal. The power of hummus? Dave, I don't need hummus. It's attraction, Dave. Boo! Fuck! What's goin' on, guys? Susan! Susan! Hey! What's up, man? You scared the shit out of me. Sorry about that. You guys going to be up for a little bit? Yeah, we're all drinking. Can I come on in? Yeah, come on in. Awesome. Oh, come on, you can't get in this door because it's broken. If you want, you can come in the window over here or otherwise, we... No, I'll meet you... You want me to meet you out in front? All right, I'll see you there in a jiff. That was crazy. I know. Are you expecting Susan? No, and she really... Just really scared me. Me too. Maybe she heard there was... Hummus? It's a really exciting thing, and people... It's the best night of the summer. It's exotic, and people hear about it and come by. I gotta go to the bathroom. I'll be right back. What about that Peruvian guy, the soccer player? Mr. Don Juan wasn't exactly the right fit, if you know what I mean. I don't know if I know what you mean. Hey, Marnie, what's going on? Hey, Susan. How are you? Not a whole heck of a lot. I'm on my way to the bathroom. All right, don't let me get... Let me get in your way. So, what you guys been doing tonight? You know, a little of this, a little of that, a little drink, a little of not. Does he need to be like consoled, I mean... It seems like he's been pretty upset for a pretty long time. I don't think he needs to be consoled or anything like that. I mean, this is what I think. Ok, I think we need to find him a new girl. Forget about Nina, we need to set him up with a new girl. That's a great idea! Yeah! I know exactly who you could set him up with. Who? Do I know her? Smart, and you know her... Awesome... He knows her... Even better. Yeah? Ah, oh, I mean... I'm just speaking in... Uh, I'm not gonna say... Hey, Marnie. Hey. What... I don't... What's goin' on, guys? I don't... I don't know. I have no idea what... I don't know what I'm saying anything exactly. I think I know what's going on. Alex told me this story about a year ago, and it seems like... Well, ok, I mean, maybe, but I mean, like there's nothing... Like, that's no... There's no story. Look, Marnie, if you want to talk, I'm here, ok? Thanks, but I mean, really, there's nothing to talk about. You sure? Seriously. Yeah, yeah, yeah, seriously. I am not afraid of getting hurt. That's bullshit. I mean, if you weren't afraid, you'd be doing something about this situation. Well, look. I did, you know? I've already done that. You did? I got hurt, and... I mean, I didn't like it, that's true... Well, I mean I guess I understand about being hurt. Like I know you don't want to be vulnerable again, but you're never gonna get anywhere if you don't. You know, you got to put yourself out on the line. Tell him how you feel. He knows how I feel. Ok, Alex might... You may think Alex knows how you feel, but, I mean, you've kinda gotta... You've gotta be repetitive. You've gotta keep telling him. You gotta... You gotta show him. It's all about action. I mean... He tells me how he feels about you all the time. When I bring up your name, or he brings up your name, he's like, "Marnie's so funny. Marnie's so cool. "You know, I love hanging out with her, "she's a great gal." I mean, come on. I think you should ask him out. I wouldn't be saying this, you know, just to say it. Oh, I know. I mean, that's like... go straight. Ok. If I put it in gear first, right? I mean, I'm glad... You know, I'm glad it's... I'm glad he likes me so much... Yeah. But I just... I mean, if he does, why... I mean, I just feel like if he... if he feels that way, then he'll do something about it, and if I... He's not like that. You know that. I mean, he doesn't... He's a tad bit socially inept, you know? Yeah. Here, it's... It's the next right up here. Ok. Take care. Thanks a lot for the ride, Susan. No problem. Ok, bye. Morning, inteletec. Ok, um... Uh, one moment. Hi. Hi, I'm from ashby staffing. Oh, sure. You're... Margaret. Marnie. Marnie. Ok. My name is Mitchell, I'm also from ashby. So, uh, yeah, so I guess all there is... You can just go through this... Sorry. Good morning, inteletec. Ok. Uh, one moment, please. Um... sorry. No, it's ok. If... if... Go through the doors and go around to the right and see a desk with a nameplate on it that says Kimberly kafferky. Ok. If you just go sit in there, Kimberly's not even in yet, but you'll be working with her or with me. Ok, so you just want me to go sit in Kimberly... Kafferky's. ...office. And can I help you with anything, or...? Uh, no, no, no. I think... I think just... Just sit in there and... and you could sit out here with me, but... Good morning, inteletec. Ok. All right, I'm sorry. Let me... let me try again. Hey. Hi. Sorry. Hi. So, I'm Mitchell. Marnie. Right, got it. And so like I said, I think Kimberly's gonna come in in a minute. Basically she's gonna give you a big stack of clients' names and you pretty much just will fire up the computer and you just enter that into excel. Do you know excel pretty well? Uh, hmm, I'm familiar with it. I mean, is it like a... It's nothing complicated. It's really... It's pretty self-explanatory. I'm sure I can handle it. I'm sure you'll be fine. So is this... how... How long have you been temping? Oh, it's my first day. Ok, well, welcome to full time... What do you... What do you do like in your... When you're... What's your deal? What's my deal? Uh, I don't know. You know, I'm sorry, that's such a terrible question. No, no, it's fine. I'm just, um... No, no, no, no, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'll see you later. Well, wait, I didn't mean to be unfriendly. I'm sorry. I feel like I'm... No, not at all. No, you're totally... You totally did everything correctly. You have nothing to worry about. Ok, well, all right. I will see you later. Ok, bye. Bye. Hi, this is Marnie. I can't take your call right now, but leave me a message and I'll call you back. Thanks. Um, hi, Marnie, this is Alex. I'm just calling to say hi. Um, just give me a call back, whenever you get in. Hello? Hello? Hello? Marnie. Hey, what's going on? How are you? Uh, hold on a second. Hold on. Hi. Hi. Sorry about that. Sorry. Just like some racket. What's goin' on? Nothing much. How are you? Oh, I'm just kinda hangin' out today, and stuff. Listen, I was talking to my sister, earlier, and y'all were hanging out the other day, right? Last night? It was what?! What? Hello? Oh, sorry, never mind. So, and she was... I don't know, she was just saying like... She was saying some crazy stuff, and I don't know, and I was just wondering what you all were talking about yesterday. Well... Ah... I don't know. I mean, we talked about a lot of stuff, I guess. I mean... I don't know, I mean, she just said some... I don't know. It sounded like she was giving you some crazy regard, some crazy advice regarding me, and I was just... I don't know, it's just... I mean, you know what I'm saying? It just... it just is a bad time for me right now, and like... and I just don't want her to... And she... what? Go ahead. I guess, I mean, we've talked about this before, I guess. I mean, I sort of... You know, I sort of... She made it sound like she was trying to encourage you to make a move on me, I guess, because she said that you liked me still and that I... And that I was single and all. It this is all true and stuff, and I... you know, I obviously think a lot of you, but I just didn't want... I'm just... It just seemed like a asshole move. I mean, she... You know, she brought it up. I just... um... Yeah. No. No, I know. I mean, I... I didn't... I definitely wasn't planning on, you know, like... I don't know, doing anything or, uh... I just... I just... You know, I know that this is a crazy time for you and stuff. I just... you know, she... I didn't... she just brought it up and so I... I don't know. Um... Well, uh... Well, anyway, and also, I just... I shouldn't be talking about this right now anyhow. It's a stupid mistake to be calling you about it. Because it's just... I don't know, it's just dumb conversation to have over the phone. Um, but... but we should, I don't know, we should talk about it more, just not right now. It's just kinda... that's kind of a bad idea, I think. So, can I just call you later, or something? Ok... ok. Ok. Ok, bye. Bye. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. God. Well, it was just stupid. It was just kind of a bad idea to call, so... Well, what happened? Nothing, we were just both kinda like... rrrr. It was... it was just so stupid to call. I don't know what I was thinking. You were totally right. You didn't... I mean, you weren't mean to her by any means, were you? Or... No, no. No, no, of course not. It didn't get like that. It was just... there was no emotion. It was like a pointless phone call. No one likes those. Speaking of phone calls, hold on just a second. Hello? Oh, hey, Marnie, what's going on? Well, um, I just got off the phone with your brother, and, uh, I don't know, I guess we just had this like really weird conversation. It was just, um... I don't know, I guess, it just like... It was kind of out of the blue, like he just called me up and, um... I don't know, I just... eh... It went like really quickly, and I just kinda made a fool of myself. I don't know, I guess he was just like bringing up... I guess you talked to him, and, like, he was talking about all this stuff that we discussed last night. Um, I don't know, it just... I... It just went badly, I guess. I don't know, what did like... I'm just wondering, what did you tell him? Yeah, I mean I told him that, you know, I thought that maybe you guys going out would be a good possibility. I mean, he's single now, and, I mean, he talks about you a lot. And, I mean, I just didn't think like what we said was in confidence, you know? No, I don't know, I mean, I just, um... No, I mean, it wasn't like a big secret, I guess. It was just... I wasn't really expecting him to... Was he mean to you, or...? Just didn't work out? Do you feel like a master? You know what? You don't have to... Hi, what's up? How are you? I'm gonna run home for the other rum. Go... for it. Pour yourself a clean glass. Hey. Hi. I'm sorry, I forgot your... I'm Marnie. Marnie. You are Wyatt? Wyatt, right. How's it been going? Oh, just... Drinkin' wine... Something about the wine? ...losin' my mind. What'd you say? Nothing. It's... no. Losing your mind? What about you? Engineering? Yeah. Well, that's not all I do, but yeah. Oh! I didn't mean it in a bad way. No, no, I know, I know. I like engineering. So, I have been doing some engineering, actually. Ok, well... Yep. I hope you don't think I'm a jerk for saying... Talking about engineering. But uh... I will pour you a drink to make up for it. How about that? I don't think you're a jerk, but I actually... You have a drink. Okay, well, drink up. A little toast to... How are you guys doing? Fine. We're toasting to engineering. Oh, of course. I mean, how could you not? So, you guys know each other? You met? We met at that dinner, the engineering dinner. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How are you? I'm good, I'm good. I'm just, you know, socializing... Partying. Partying. You know. That's good. I don't know. I'm just like, sitting around when I was a kid thinking about nuns. Oh, yeah, just like me. Yeah? Yeah, real common childhood fascination. It's good stuff, yeah. I guess. I mean, what about them? Like you said... I don't know. No, I would also wonder stuff like, ok, so, say you're like a fallen woman, you know? Is it too late for you to become a nun? What do you mean, "fallen woman"? Like... You know... I think of, like, 1940's when you say that. Well, that could be. I mean, I'm talking about like a... Someone who's not totally chaste their whole life. Oh, yeah, I see what you're saying. Then is it... Is it too late? Or, you know, can you be redeemed and become a nun? Why, is this like a... I wonder still. Are you thinking of joining a convent? I don't know, I've given it a thought. But, I mean, it more... Probably not tonight. I don't know, maybe like when you... You know, you could go in tomorrow to the convent and sign a piece of paper and get your habit and it washes your sins away. They'll just absolve you of everything you ever did. I don't know. Great, so I don't have to worry about it. Yeah. Um... um... I'm sorry. I don't... I don't know. Yeah, actually, it's ok. Um... I'm... I'm sorry. No. Uh, no. Me too. Um... Yo, dudes! Hey, Wyatt, man. Right on, right on. It's been good seein' ya. Good seeing you too. Bye, you guys. The hippinest man in a small town, you know? The hippinest. You have all things to tell the citizenry about this hat. You look fantastic. Hey, Dave. Marnie, Marnie, Marnie. Dave, I gotta go, ok? I'm on my way out. No. Come on, you gotta sit on my lap one time before you leave. One round of lap-sitting. I don't know, Dave... Please. Please. Vacant lap. Vacant. You gotta do it for me. There we go. There we go. You know you wanted to. There we go. Hey, this is a good thing... You know, you can represent me to... to Jeff here. Could you endorse me? Can you tell him... Why should I... I endorse you? Are you having a pleasant experience? Am I the first one to sit in your lap? No, of course not. Uh, uh, ya know, Rachel was here earlier this evening. All right, well, you know, it's legit. And I... I've basically just been working on Jeff the whole night, after that, after Rachel. Jeff, now with Marnie's endorsement here, you gotta give it a shot, man. This is... you know, this is the chance of a lifetime to test, uh, social theory in action. I endorse it. All right, all right. She's having a good time here. All right, all right. Keep her. Right there? All right, settle in. Here we go. Hey! Eh... mmm. Come on. There, now isn't that nice? It's better than you thought, isn't it? Somewhat better. But bony. You must admit, you're a little bit turned on, right? Aw, Marnie, come on, don't ruin this! You talkin' to me or him? You ruined this. No, no, I don't think so. Aw. Hey, sweetie. Hey, baby, how ya doin'? Good. What are you doin'? Caressing the guests. You know, a little forced intimacy here. Yeah, what's new? Yeah, yeah, you know, it's my same old party trick. Uh, you know... I think Jeff's having a pretty good time, though. Yeah? Really? Are you? Yeah. It's not sexual. It's not sexual, and he's comfortable. It's all confirmed. Well, you guys, you all look very happy, so I gotta go. And so... goodbye. Oh, Marnie, come on. No, it's time for me to go. Listen, at least... Come on, let's... Come on, I got in your lap. Yeah. Whoa, buddy, I'm sorry. At least let... Come on, are you gonna be ok driving home? Yeah, no, I'm fine, I'm fine. At least let me give you a walk to your car, ok? All right, I'll... Come take a walk. I'll be fine. Is everything cool with you and Alex and all that? No. I mean, status quo, you know, I guess, but... I'll be all right. All right, well, if you ever need someone to talk to, you know, give me a call. Ok. Thanks, Dave. Good night. All right. Hey. You need a ride somewhere? No, I just wanted to make sure that you're gonna be ok. Yeah. I mean, this is a weird time, you know? But uh... I'm ok. Ok. And I mean, come on. I don't... This is boring, you know, I don't wanna talk about me. It's not fair to you, and it's... I mean... I don't know. How are you doing? I don't know. I mean, I'm ok. I'm ok. Marnie, I like you a lot. Oh, I like you too, Dave. I feel bad, though. No, don't feel bad. I don't care, I don't care. It's ok. No, come on. Don't feel bad. But you know, your girlfriend's right up, right up there. There she is. You know? True. Well... All right, look. I guess I should go. Are you gonna, I mean... are things cool? Look, I'm sorry. I mean, I just, look. Ok, ok, ok. Look, are you sure everything's... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's fine. All right. Good night. Good night. It's fine. You sure? Yeah, yeah, go ahead. I'm fine. So, how was your weekend? Oh, it was all right. How was yours? Uh, it's fine, I think. I don't know. I'm saying I don't really remember. Well, maybe it was really great, then. That's a definite possibility. It might... perhaps it's all just lost in the giant drug haze or... Hi guys. Morning. Marnie, uh, today's your last day, huh? Oh yeah, yeah. Well, we're gonna miss you. Mitchell, would you stay here and do some data entry, and Marnie, I think they could use you on phones for a couple of hours. Sure. See ya. Good morning, inteletec. May I tell him who's calling? Ok, one moment. Hi. Phil, I have Jeffrey livermore on line two for you? Ok. I cannot believe you completely usurped my phone position that I had worked so hard to achieve. I don't think it's anything personal, I mean... No, I'm sure it's not. I'm sure you're much more pleasant-sounding than I am. Pleasant-sounding maybe. Right. Well, so, what's... Is this true, that you're leaving us? Oh, yeah, yeah. I hate temping. I hate it. Fucking tell me about it. I understand. Well, what are you gonna do? I don't know. I think I'm just gonna try to get a job waiting tables, or something. That's cool. That sounds, it's a great idea. Yeah. I'll be all right. Well that's a bummer, you know? I'll miss you. Oh, well... Anyway, I'm gonna go back in before Kimberly catches me, uh, dragging ass, or whatever. Ok, well, have fun. I'll try. Hey, Marnie? Hi. Um, I don't know, it's such a weird, like, oppressive environment in there, and... I, uh, I always feel weird in my, in my like, get-up, my work clothes, whatever. But um, I don't know. I just, I think, uh, I've enjoyed knowing you, and you seem real cool and everything, um... Oh, thanks. Oh. Well... So, I guess, uh, I don't know if it makes sense for us to, uh, if you wanted to like, hang out sometime, or like, go out sometime? Oh, um, I think it would be... Yeah, I mean... Uh...huh... I don't know if I can really go out with you. No, no, no. That's understood. I mean... You know, I meant to ask that, but it was also... But no, I'd love to hang out, I mean... Exactly. I would love to hang out as well. So, why don't I get your number? Yeah. Absolutely. You could, uh, you know, we could get together sometime or hang out or something. I did not mean to sound like a jerk, there. You didn't at all, I'm sure. Obviously, you have a boyfriend, and... Yeah... Yeah. Of course. Uh, but um... But, yeah. Please... I'll give you a call. And I think, you know, we could go out and have some good times. Ok. So, uh. Cool. Keep it real at inteletec and stuff, and I will hang out with you soon. All right. Ok. Bye. Monday, 4.28 pm. Hey, Marnie. This is Alex. I was just calling... Monday, 4.28 pm. Hey, Marnie. This is Alex. I was just calling because I don't know if you're still looking for a job or anything, but my uncle is a religion professor and he's got some things that he needs help with. So, um... And he... I'm not sure if he's gonna see people tomorrow, or interview people or something, so, give me a call. Maybe I can hook you up with that. In any event, you should also give me a call, 'cause we should have coffee or something some time soon. So, uh, yeah. I'm at the office right now... Hi. I brought us beers. Cold ones. Thank you. Actually, I gave up drinking a couple of days ago, kind of. Huh? But since you... Why would you do that? I don't know. It wasn't going that well for me. What? You weren't getting it down? Bit this looks nice. I'll just have this one. No, I can get you a soda or something if you'd rather. I can have just one. No, no. It's no big deal. It's no big deal. Here. You want something else? Well, no... no. I'll put it right here. You can have it for later or whatever. It's no big deal. Hold on. Let me get that. Hello? Hello. I left my keys up there, can you let me in, dude? Ok. Hold on a second. I'll be right down. Hey, uh... Jed has locked himself out again, so I gotta go let him down... Or in, or something. So, but after that, do you wanna get something to eat, or get out of here? Sure. Ok. So, I'll be right back. Ok. He failed to beat that level of "Sonic the hedgehog", so, now he's, like, on this army base in Alabama. Are you ready to go? Hey. How's it going? What, uh... Want a gummi bear? Uh, sure. Yes. Thank you. Uh, what... You look amazing. Yeah? Yeah! Thanks. I was outside, and you know the kids who sit on the stoop? The call him a rough rider, so, tonight I was practicing wiffle ball, and they kinda surrounded me, and they were yelling and screaming, and this one kid, like, their leader, is named "the cheeks." He was just cursing and cursing. Really making fun of me. And so, finally, he's like, down here, and I'm like... I grab him. I'm like: "Listen, kid. You got quite a mouth on you." And I said something like: "Little guys shouldn't mess with big guys." Oh... Big mistake. There were, like, seven of them. They knocked me down. Beating the crap out of me, like, throwing dirt on me. Oh, no! Yeah, and so, like, at first it seemed really bad, um... I mean, I was, like... I don't know. I think I chipped a tooth or something... And... but then... Are you... what's...? Oh, I don't know. I mean, I was just... What? What? Say it! Are you ready to go? Yeah. Ok. I'll tell you more later. But it actually ended up fine. I gave "the cheeks" our phone number. I hope you don't mind. No, that's fine. He's a cool guy, actually. I think they're actually good. I think I might have solved the town/gown relations issues or whatever we were having with the... Town/gown? Well, you know. Like, us and the kids. The kids are gonna like us now. That's what's gonna happen. That sounds good. Let's get outta here. All right. I'm gonna go now. Well, good luck, I mean... yeah. I'll see you later. Ok. Bye. Yeah, you know, you're at least the most, like, "evolutionalistic" person that I know. What do you mean? You are, too, though. Well... You're, like, yesterday, cro-magnon man, today, uh, you know. Yeah, today in stasis. Caveman lawyer. Right. Stasis? You're not in stasis. Seriously. Coffee. Oh. Thank you. Oh, my god! You're something. Sorry about that. Have you ever seen that before? No! It's pretty good, huh? Amazing. It really is. Really disgustifying. Did you know there was that much juice in one eye? Well done. I thought that was the most disgusting thing I've ever seen in a diner. Yeah. Wait till you check this shit out. Muh. Muh. Muh. Muh. What is that? Muh? Muh? Muh? It's a cow! It's a cow. Doing what? Peeing? I don't see what... It's not peeing! Yes, it is. No. Muh... muh. Is it supposed to be, like, lactating, or something? Yes! Lactating. Peeing?! Seems weird. Come on. I know you made it up. No, my dad did. Are you fucking with me? You knew what that was. Well, yeah. Yes, you were. Yeah. Right. Sorry. You are crazy. Thanks. So are you. You're, like, the king of crazy over there. Well, that's a big title to live up to. I don't know what to do now. Yeah, well. You definitely are... Not doing it. What do I do now? I don't know. Make some fart noises or something. Oh, no... Well, you don't have to, but it's always funny. The wetter, the better, I think. That's the rule of thumb. Yeah. There you go. Oh, that's so gross. You had some spit coming off your tongue. It reminded me of something that happened to me. I was just lactating. Right. Right. Thanks. I think that's Liz. Can you hold on a second? Yeah, that's totally her car. Hold on. I just wanna catch her. Hey, Liz? Liz? Oh, shit. Liz! Liz. Liz? Liz, wake up. Liz? Hey, Liz. Wake up. Hey? Hi. It's Marnie. It's me. Hi, Marnie. Are you ok? I'm fine. You were passed out in your car here. No, I wasn't. Yes, you were. Look, you were passed out here with your head on the steering wheel when I just turned up. That's not my steering wheel. What are you talking about? Look, there's a big, old dent from where your forehead was. This isn't my car. What? Then you somehow managed to steal a car that looks just like yours and pass out in it with the car running? Here, I'm gonna turn it off. You're almost out of gas. How long have you been here? Not long. No? Well... Who's that? Hi. I'm Alex. It's my friend Alex. Liz. Nice to meet you. Where are my car keys? Well, I don't know, I can't find them. But where have you been tonight? What are you doing? Are you... Have you been with anybody? No, I left the party on my own. What party? Um... down the road. What, Brad and those guys? I don't know. I want my keys. Well, how about them? I can't give you your keys. Keys. No, I can't do that. I'm really sorry, but you cannot drive. Fuck you, Marnie. Oh, come on. Fuck you. How about... I mean, Alex and I... You could ride with me, and Alex could drive your car behind us or something like that. No? Well, just crash with me. I live right here. You won't even have to walk anywhere. It's right here. Come on. You'll be fine, I'll just carry you over the doorstep. I guess I was tired of driving anyway. Yeah, there you go. That's more like it. Come on, miss America. You can do it. All right. So... I guess I'll be pretty busy. Yeah, I can tell. But I'm glad we met up. Yeah, you know... Glad we had a chance to hang out. Yeah, me too. So... Yeah, I'm gonna go. Ok. Well, give me a call. It was nice to meet you, Liz. Tut-tut-tut. Have a good time at work tomorrow. Bye. All right. Are you ready for the stairs? Here you go. Save that for later. I could not believe it when I walked up to your car, and you were just sitting in there. I wasn't sure what to do at first, 'cause I thought maybe you were in there making out with someone, or something. No one to make out with. Well, I didn't know. Was that your boyfriend? No. No. No. Well... Are you gonna be ok here, you think? Yes. All right. Well, I'm gonna go out for just a little while, but I'll be back, and then I'll see you in the morning. And the bathroom's right across the hall in case you feel sick or something. Ok? Ok. And if you can't make it to the bathroom for whatever reason, I'll leave this waste basket right here for you. Ok? So get some rest. I'll see you later. Goodnight. Thank you. You're welcome. Anybody else? Oh, for beer, man? I'm always good for beer. Marnie? Marnie? Wake up. Sorry. Do you want some toast? Oh, no, thank you. Thanks for last night. Oh, no problem. I'm really sorry if I was belligerent or anything. No, no, no. You were fine. You were totally fine. You were fine. Have you seen my car keys? Um, I think they're in my pants. It'd be in my pants over there. The brown ones? Mm-hm. What time is it? It's, like, in the front... Yeah. Got 'em. Oh, shit! Oh, shit. Are you late? I made some coffee. There's coffee in the kitchen. Come in. Professor garver? Hi, I'm Marnie cadieux. I am so sorry I'm late. I was supposed to meet you at ten. Quite all right. Quite all right. Come on in. Do sit down. Thanks. Very sorry. I got held up earlier. I apologize. Quite all right. You're here about the research position? Yes. I'm a friend of your nephew, Alex. I have about half an hour, I have gotta warn you. I'll have to meet my wife... I could come back... No. Plenty of time to talk. All right. Thanks. Good. Yes, Alex has spoken very highly of you. Really? That's so nice. He's told me good things about you, too. That's always nice to hear. Well, I've got my resume... Terrific. Thank you. Right... Ok... You've got very broad interests. I guess I'm a little scattered. I wouldn't say that. This is marvelous. This is terrific. Mm-hm. Now, ah... You went to school with Alex. Right. That's right. That's where we met. That means you must know a colleague of mine named Edward hobbs, right? Oh, yeah. He was one of my thesis readers. Very funny man. He's hilarious. We've done a lot of work together. Oh, great. Good fellow. Listen, is there anything you'd like to ask me? Actually, Alex didn't tell me very much at all, so... What would I be doing? Ok, well... Essentially, it's a research position. Ok. Library work, mostly. Better yet, I oughtta introduce you to Jackie. Ok. She's the person you'll be working with most closely. All right. Would you like to go to the library, then? Ok. Sure. Why don't we do that? We can do that now. Is there anything else you wanted to know from me? Well, let's see. I think the most important thing is the research qualifications that you have... Know, of course, this is not the most glamorous job. That's fine. But if you're still interested in it, I think we can work something out. Great. Can I help? Yeah, is Alex around? He's on vacation right now. Really? Did he go out of town? Yeah, I think so. Were you supposed to meet him? No, he just helped me get this job, so I wanted to stop by and say thanks. Friend of Alex'? Yeah. You hear the big news? Uh... what big news? I don't know. What are you talking about? Um... why don't you have a look at these? Ok... What... I don't get it. You see that guy there with the yarmulke? He's the rabbi. And this is a wedding. What we can't figure out is why is it a Jewish wedding? I think her mother is Jewish. So I guess this is probably a Jewish ceremony. Does it look Jewish? What? When did they get married? Well, we got the pictures today, and we're guessing... Yesterday. Where? Up in Maine some place. This is crazy. Well, it's crazy, but, you know... Holy shit. Yeah, it's crazy, all right. They're married! They're married? They seem to be. I don't think it's that crazy. She's not easily impressed. No, I think, considering who Alex is, it's not that weird. Fair enough. Hello? Hello? Beer? Sure. Ok, sir. Thanks very much. You're welcome. Thank you. Thanks. Um... What was I saying? Well, uh... How's that beer? It's lovely. It's delightful. Um... How many is that for you, Mitchell? I don't know. Are you ok to drive? Yeah, I'll be fine. I'll be good. I actually didn't drive. I took the bus. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Do you want anything to drink, by the way? Oh, no. I'm fine. I'm fine. Do you want non-alcoholic as well? It doesn't have to be... Oh, no. I am the opposite of parched. What, saturated? Waterlogged. Waterlogged. Well, ok. Yeah. Well, I can give you a ride home. Oh, seriously? Ok. That might be really cool, actually. That would be really great. But it's not necessary. Public transport works for me. Ok. Well, either way. But enough about me. Tell me about the new job. Oh, it's great. It's really... I've only been doing it for a few days, but it's really interesting, so I'm excited. What kind of stuff is it? I'm doing library research for this religion professor. How is the... this is crass, but how is the money in that? Oh, I mean, it's not that good, but it's better than temping. Sure. Are you still temping? Of course, but not for long. I'm almost... I'm gonna get out of that. Yeah, actually, it came at a really good time for me, 'cause I had about negative two dollars in my bank account. Well, that's something... That'll buy you negative two cups of coffee. But then I'd be so tired. It's terrible. I mean, it's great. It's hilarious. It took me a second to get it. That's a great joke. I am very impressed that you can just off of the top of your head come up with a... This, perhaps, is a foolish thing to say, but I was just thinking that that your boyfriend, whoever he is, is a very fortunate man. Well, that's nice. Are you just, I mean, assuming I have a boyfriend or just being nice? No, I'm not assuming anything. What do you mean? Are you saying you don't have a boyfriend? You don't have a boyfriend? No. You told me you had a boyfriend. I didn't! Yes, you did. We were in the parking lot... And I don't know if, uh... If I brought it up, I don't remember. But it came up... I don't remember that. No, I was being a little too forward, I think you were trying to let me down easy. No, that's not... I didn't mean to lie to you. That's terrible. I don't know what I was thinking. No, you wouldn't. Doesn't matter. I'm sorry? No, don't apologize. Don't apologize at all. Um... Well, what else can we talk about? Well, if you don't have a boyfriend... What if I were to say to you, hypothetically, Marnie: This... This is what it is, this is a little dinner between the two of us as friends. But if I said to you some time, you know, if I were to ask you on a date, like a different occasion... Mitchell, um... Well, I'm just saying, what would you say? I don't know. It's hard. I don't know what I would say. It's hard to know, um... Well, if it's not hypothetical. Ok, ok, look. No, no, no. I mean, you're... I'm not... I think... I mean, I'm having a great time tonight and I hope we can do this again. But I... not because of you, but for reasons pertaining to me I think it's not a good idea for me to... Ok. ...see you romantically. No, no, no. That's fine. I'm sorry. No, don't apologize. I think you handled that very well. I apologize for putting you in an awkward position again. No, no... I promise it's the last time I ask. What else could we talk about? Let me ask you this: This is a related topic. Ok. How is it possible that you don't have a boyfriend? I don't know, Mitchell. It's just life, I guess. I don't know. I don't know. Sorry. No, it's ok. Let's... throw me a topic. We can talk about anything. Ok, ok. What's your favorite TV show? Uh... I don't know. I don't really watch very much TV. You sure you wanna talk about TV? No, I don't care. Ok. Why don't you have a girlfriend? Well, that's just life. I mean, you're very nice... No, no, no. Thank you. I mean, that's very sweet of you to say. But, um... It's... Marnie, come on. Seriously. It's not... Well, it's not the same thing. Why? Yes, it is. Because you're beautiful, and because you're, like, incredible and because, I mean... I don't wanna be... I mean... I think probably 90 percent of the guys that you know are totally... sorry, head over heels in love with you... False. True. And perhaps you don't notice. You don't know. You don't know any of the people that I know besides you. And, I mean, I know for a fact. Well, that... I don't know 90 percent of the guys that you know, but I think I'm right about this. But I'm not gonna argue with you about it. I think, uh... "The twilight zone" I think was a great show. "The three stooges" is a show I like a lot. Yeah, that's good stuff. What's your favorite "twilight zone" episode? I don't know. They're all very good. Hey, Marnie. I'm leaving now. You can go home if you want. Ok. Thanks, Jackie. See you later. There's Marnie. Marnie. Hey, Marnie. Hi. What's up? Not much. How are you doing? Just shopping... Hey, Marnie. Hi. How are you doing? Ok. You guys are all having dinner? Yeah, we're gonna cook a big dinner. Each of us is gonna do a specialty. Fun. That sounds fun. You wanna come? Oh. Well... it's really nice of you to ask. I think, I'm pretty tired 'cause I worked all day, so... We'll do all the cooking. You just have to eat. It's tempting. But I'm pretty... I think maybe I'd better just go home and unwind. I don't mean to be rude. No, it's cool. We understand. It's nice to see you guys. Yeah, it's good to see you. Good to see you, too. I don't... I don't know if I'm supposed to... are you guys married? Yeah. Yeah, pretty much. Well, we didn't have a... Big time. Sorry. We didn't have a wedding or anything. It was kind of a spur of the moment thing. Kind of under the radar. That's crazy. I mean, congratulations. Thanks. That's our rings. Um... So, Nina's gonna teach me how to make eggplant tonight. That's my specialty. Well, that's good. Always a good one. She's gonna teach me how to do the whole leaching thing and get the berries out. Yeah. I don't know. You know that I'm, like, eggplant retarded. True. Well, that's good. I don't even know how to pick the things out. Well, it's not hard to pick 'em out. Will you show me how to pick 'em out? Yeah! Cool. All right. Good to see you. See you later. Bye. Hey. So, what you got? Oh, I have got... I don't know... Well... I'm not so sure about this. It's pretty expensive. Hot pepper raspberry preserve. That's good. I heard it's all right. With the tampons. Yeah, just... Two items only. Yeah, those are a great two. Oh, I've just started. But, yeah, maybe I should stop right there. Well... well... Speaking of... I'm gonna go with my wife and look at some eggplants. Ok. Well, have fun. All right. Yeah. Oh... We should have dinner some time. Ok. Sure. Sure. Just, like, whenever. Ok. Well, I guess I should just give you a call. Yes. Ok. Bye. Was that weird? A little. Yeah? Well, you know, just slip off into the night now that no one's around. Oh. Yeah. Thanks. $11.22. I didn't think you were serious about playing when you... Of course I'm serious, man. Well, I can tell you're serious, because you're in halfway athletic gear. You got the sweat pants and the... you're ready to play. What? Don't you think you can play in your jeans? No, I'll be cool. No, come on. We can just shoot around. Don't worry about it. Do you know how to play this game for real? Do you know what you're doing? No, no, I suck. I played in junior high, and I never even scored one basket. So I'm just trying to work my way back up to the skill level of then. 'Cause I'm really terrible. Then we'll be evenly matched. Well, it might be embarrassing. You might laugh at me. Play. All right. Can I take a few free throws? The thing is that I never learned to shoot properly. You can go to basketball camp or whatever and they'll teach you. You gotta... something to do with follow through, or... Doesn't help. Well, I never learned it. Do you know how to play chess? Does chess seem like it's more my speed? No, no. I was thinking about playing some chess, and... I can tell you... I can tell you how the pieces move. That's no problem. I can't really teach you chess because my skill level is approximately the same as it is in basketball. Which is to say it's... Terrible. Truly terrible. Great. Are you ready to play? Like a game? Like a real game? A little game? Yeah. Hang on to this. Small, you know... Yeah. Let's do it. Who's taking it out? That'll be you. All right. Marnie, take it easy on me. You're too fucking tall. It's not fair. I can't... ok, thank you. That's much better. I believe, Marnie, that that is checkmate. What? Yeah. Oh, shit. No, no, no. I could... I could just go like that, right? No, you can't, because my knight will... Oh, shit. I totally blanked out on how that knight can just jump over everything. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the major... That's the coolest thing about the knight. He's no joke. Well, fuck. Yeah, well, but... But that was a really good game, considering... Oh, yeah. No, it was fun. You know... no, but you played really well if you hadn't played since whenever. Third grade. Yeah, it was outstanding. I think if we played like, you know, five more games, within five I promise that you'd be trouncing me. All right, let's do it. Right now, or...? Well, maybe not right now. That's... I don't think I can handle five more games right now. Yeah. I have to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back. Hey, Marnie, can I grab a beer or something? Yeah, sure. Actually, I think there's a whole six-pack in there and you're welcome to have all of it. Well, just one I think... Oh, yeah, I know, but you can take it home, is what I'm saying. Ok. It's not... If you... No, I'd actually appreciate it if you took it off my hands. If you insist. Ok, I'll be right back. Clamors Hey, Marnie? Marnie? What? Do you wanna go and take these and drink these out on the porch outside? Wait. Can you wait till I get out of the bathroom? Yeah. Sure. Sorry. I'm gonna go out on the porch. I'm gonna be... I'll talk to you in a minute. Well, now you just look... You look kinda depressed. No, I'm just tired. Dribbling... I know. Of course. But you look, like, a little bit tired, or even mostly tired, and just a smidgen depressed as well. I don't know. Well, that's lame. I just think that we had a nice day. I think we had a good time out there. I think now is not the time for depression. I agree. We had a great time. What are you getting at? Well, what more do you want from life? I don't want anything. What... are you fucking with me? Yeah, a little bit. A little bit, I guess I am. I don't know. It seems like... An appropriate time to fuck with you. I don't know. All I mean is that I think we had a nice day, we had a productive day, we did all these things, you know, like I said, and... You could just... if you were here in this moment now, then... You could... You could smile about it or something. Well, look. Ok, I'll smile about it. I'm delighted. We had a nice day. It was... I don't know. What more do you want? I don't know. A smile, or some energy, or some... you know. A little... I don't know. I don't know. Something. Dancing? What? Dancing is good. I like dancing. I'm just... Well, you have to be doing it because you wanna do it. I don't want you to imitate my dancing. Oh, Mitchell. I cannot play this game with you. It's your game. You started this game by being depressed. Well, I'm sorry. I'm not even depressed, a. And b, even if I was, I mean, that's my right. I'm just... you know. Yeah, yeah. I can't be zany fun every minute. I'm sorry. I do... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to push you or mess with you too much. I'm sorry. Jesus, Mitchell! What the fuck? Now, wait, come on... Wait. Don't get mad. Marnie? Uh... I'm sorry. That was stupid, Mitchell. It was like... You know, it wasn't funny and people could have gotten hurt. Well, it wasn't that dangerous. No one got hurt. But I take your point, and I am sorry. Why did you do that? I don't know. I don't know. I am sorry. I'll go clean it up. I'll go clean it up. Ok, fine. But why did you do it? I just... I don't know. Has no one informed you that we're all gonna die some day? Oh, Jesus. Are you mad at me? Maybe. Well, I'm really sorry. You're crazy. You're crazy! Hey... Marnie, I can't... I can't talk to you prone on the bed. Ok. So I'm gonna go. I just didn't wanna leave on a sour note. That's ok. I will forgive you. Ok. I already have forgiven you. I forgive you. Thank you. Good. I'm sorry that I ragged on you about being mopey. It's ok. Don't worry about it. Ok. I had a fun day. Me too. Good. Great. So, uh, so give me a call some time, and we'll... I will. You wanna play ball again some time? Yeah, I'd love to. Or are you interested at all in tennis? Yeah. Can't play, but... That's perfect. I... actually, a roommate of mine, he's moving out, and he left his rackets behind. So if you wanted to get together we have rackets. That'd be great. We could learn together. That'd be great. Ok, cool. So, I'm gonna... I'm gonna head off. Next time we see each other, it won't be weird at all... No, no, please. Don't worry about it. It'll be fine. Ok. It was my pleasure, Marnie. I'll see you later. Goodbye. Bye, Mitchell. Hey, Jackie. Hi, Marnie. How are you? Good. Nice earrings. Thank you. I feel weird. I'm not used to wearing them. Are you going out tonight? No. They're a birthday present from my mom, so I thought I'd wear them. Really? Happy birthday. Thanks. When was your birthday? It's today, actually. Oh, really? Congratulations. Thanks. How old are you? So are you celebrating tonight? I don't have any plans. No? I'm a big girl now, you know. It's my birthday... So you're not doing anything at all? No, not really. No plans. Why don't I take you out, buy you a beer after work? Oh, that's so nice. That would be great. Do you think we could go for coffee instead? Absolutely. Oh, my god. Ok. It's really your birthday? Yeah, yeah. Actually. What's your sign? Serious? I wouldn't know anyway. Here you go. Thanks a lot. On me. Oh, thank you. Mine, too? Sure. Thank you. Enjoy. This is so decadent. Wes? Oh, yeah? That guy? He used to work down at the river city. You know the coffee shop down the street? Me and my friends used to go there all the time. Before we knew his name, we just called him "the cute coffee guy." "Cute coffee guy", huh? He's cute, don't you think? Yeah, yeah. I can see it. He has a really nice smile. Yeah, he does. He definitely does. He's always flirting with all the girls. You should go for it. Oh, my god, no. I'm married. I know, but come on. It's the "cute coffee guy." I can't even bring Dan in here. He gets so jealous. Really? Oh, that's serious. How long have you been married? Two years. That's great. Sometimes. Work can get boring. Yeah. I'm thinking about entering the NBA draft soon. Are you checking him out? No, I'm not checking him out. You were! Just observing him in action there. Hey, I can set you up. Oh, no, no, no, no, no... Sure? Yeah. No, no, no. Marnie? Hey, Marnie? Marnie? Hey. Alex? Hey, what's going on? Hey. Did I wake you up? Yeah. Well, I was coming by to wish you happy birthday, but I didn't think I would wake you up, so... I'm sorry about that. No, it's ok. But... Well... what's going on? What... are you drunk? No, I'm not drunk. What are you talking about? Are you sure? Yeah, man. Lay off. What are you, deaf? I used to beat up deaf kids. You're lucky you're up there. No, seriously, I'm totally fine. You're just acting so deranged and... Well, so! I mean, I never turn you away when you're deranged. Look, it's... Do you wanna come up or what? Um... I don't have to. I don't have to. It's up to you. I'll come down for a second, ok? Out front? Yeah. I'll see you down there. Ok, I'll be out there in a couple of seconds. Ok. Well, what's on your mind? I don't know. You came here to see me. Well, yeah. I just came to wish you happy birthday, and... Say hi. Well, Alex. Uh... I don't know. I'd love to sit here and talk to you, but... But I probably should go back to bed, if... Don't do that. I mean... I mean... What's... I mean... I don't know. It's just complicated. I'm sure it is. Surprisingly. Yeah. I mean... anything like that is complicated, I imagine. But... I know. I didn't mean to get in a... Into a conversation about it here. You don't wanna have a conversation? Well, I mean... Yeah. I mean, if it were ok for me to come here to your house late at night, and to tell you how great I thought you were and... And how much I appreciate you, and... You know, like all that stuff. That's what I would be doing, I guess. That's the conversation I would like to have with you. Well, I mean... Uh, but... I mean, instead... Yeah, instead I should probably be going. I need to get out of here, so... Wait, Alex. Don't go. You can't chase me. You're not wearing shoes. I'm not gonna chase you. Well, no. I'm sorry. I know, I should go. Really, I should go. I'll talk to you later. But, well... Yeah, I know. It's just... It's hard. I just kinda... Well, if can just give you one piece of advice: Don't tease her. For god's sake. I know. It's so hard not to when she gets so upset about the thing you wanted to say. Tease your dad. Tease him all you like, but leave your mom out of it, probably. Well, I did it. That's the problem. Come in. Hi. Hey. What's going on? How are you? I'm good. I just... I don't know. Have you eaten lunch? No. No, not yet. I just thought I'd come by to your work since you came by mine, and see uncle Louis. Fair enough. We were talking about you. Really? Well, I was just talking about you guys to myself as I walked down the hall. We weren't really, but we are just, you know... Just kidding, really. Sorry. Jackie asked me to print these for you. Terrific. Thanks very much. That's wonderful. Great. Uh... did you have anywhere in mind for lunch? No, I don't know what's good. I just came by. Wanna sit there? I don't think that's gonna work. Oh, wow. Yeah. I think some fat person already sat there. No good. Let's sit on the ground. Every time I come here, I see these same guys playing frisbee. Same two dorks? Yeah. Well, I'm sure they're nice guys, but... Yeah, that's some nice dorks. Yeah, they're clearly dorks. Dorks! Sorry, I was talking to her. He was just talking to me. Ignore him. Sorry. I didn't think he'd turn around, you know. 'Course he'd turn around. You yelled out "dorks." Yeah, but you don't wanna be like, "yeah, that's me." If someone calls out "dickweed" at a party, you don't turn around, 'cause you gotta play it cool. Yeah. It's self-identification. You're right. You're right. Yeah. Sorry about that. They forgot to play it cool. Kinda uncool of me. I know. They deserved it. Yeah. How are you doing down there? Pretty good. Pretty good. This is the nicest park on the face of the earth. Yeah. I'm trying to spend more time outdoors. Me, too, man. Just 'cause you're, like, in an office all day, you just kinda... Spastic Mozart over there. Yeah, well, that's right. I'm definitely a child genius. Being in an office all the time. Um... yeah. Well, listen. I'm sorry. I know I can be really exasperating. What do you mean? I mean, you know. People tell me that I'm a hard person to deal with sometimes. Well... You know... You don't have to... Whatever. I mean, here we are. It's a beautiful day, beautiful sandwiches. Let's just enjoy our unexpected view of these fucking dorks. They definitely did not hear you. Maybe. But maybe it's that dickweed factor you mentioned earlier. Hey. Hey, man. Hey. Anyhow... Hey, if you could move anywhere, if you were moving out of here, and you were in another country, or anywhere, I guess, where would you move? I don't know. I guess probably a better question is, what if you were 13 feet tall? Would you rather be that, or have eyes on the stalks of your head? You know what I mean. I mean, you've left me with no other option than eyes on the stalks of your head. Yeah, well. Is that the right answer? That's what everyone else chooses. Pretty much, yeah. I can see it. I can see it. It's a smart move. Yeah. Well, you know, I really think the world of you, Marnie. Uh-huh. No dice. Uh-huh. Well... Yeah... |
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