Fuck you!
Something weird's going on.
Some kind of riot.
They're burning cars.
Given the refereeing, no wonder.
GOAL OF THE DEAD
FIRST HALF
Sam, what's your
town called again?
Caplongue.
It hasn't been my town for ages.
First result for Paris,
Who move up the
table below Evian.
Suprised, Herve? They
made an awful start,
well below par.
So far this year,
it's a disgrace.
In my case, tonight,
no worries for Olympique,
it's a cup game
against amateurs Caplongue.
An easy draw.
Not so sure. There's
still a bit of history.
The Clubs met 17 years ago and who was
the Caplongue star? Samuel Lorit.
Lorit, the club's oldest
player bought from Caplongue
after his brilliant
performances at the time.
Caplongue, weird.
CAPLONGUE
Testing, testing,
can you hear me?
Now? OK.
1, 2, yes? Right...
See the return of local
boy, Samuel Lorit!
Tonight, feel the heat at Lagrippe!
Hip, hip, hip!
LAGRIPPE STADIUM
Paris had a tough
start to the season,
and have struggled
to get top players.
They have young star Idriss
Diago but he can't do it all.
As they say,
a great #10 doesn't make a team.
Coubert's smart,
because he has few choices.
He only has kids in defence.
Up front, it's all old men.
At least Diago's been rested.
Credit for that.
Calm down!
- Whatever!
- It's all bullshit!
Don't listen to them.
Journalist just try
and stir up tension.
They have got a point.
Idriss, turn it off.
I'd quite like to see
Paris in league 2.
I told you, studs on
in the changing room!
What?
Guys, you have to
step up your French.
You've been here 2 months
and you can't say hello.
Can't understand a word.
Cochini? What hell!
The woman following the team this
weekend is our ray of sunshine,
Solene Bellanger.
The game's not live,
but you'll be there
filling us in.
I'm using this low-pressure
game to get to know
Olympique's star, Idriss Diago,
His interests, his
hopes, and his past.
His past? He's only 12.
As for Samuel Lorit,
He's probably playing one of
his last premier league games.
No! What a great
loss for soccer!
DR.BELVAUX, MD
SAM LORIT Return of a local hero
Time for the magic potion!
You got to focus on
your goal today.
And that goal is?
- Win the match.
- Of course,
But above all?
Revenge, Jeannot! We've
waited ages for this day.
I dunno, Pop. It was
along time ago.
Don't back down now.
I knew it wouldn't be
much fun doping you up.
There.
Martine! Get that?
I'll be right there. Alright.
Kill Sam Lorit!
Sam!
Motherfucker!
Asshole! Dickwad! Fucker!
I'll pull off your dick
and fuck you in the eye.
Jizz-eating Parisian gay-boy!
I'll kill you!
Jeannot?
Is it rolling, Fred?
Let's start.
So, Idriss, you're a key
player in this team.
Are you still happy at club?
To be honest, not to
be a drag or anything,
I can't answer without my agent.
It's a contractual thing.
Would say you're the
driving force in the team?
Yeah, maybe. I try to
help the team, you know?
Do you have any role
models, any references?
Yeah, sure, I do have one.
It's kind of down to him that
I wanted to play soccer.
As a kid, when I saw his
videos, I was like, wow!
I tried to do the same moves,
I tried to run like him.
I try to copy his technique.
The was head the ball,
I try to do the same.
He was a real model for me.
He was the one who made
me want to do this job.
But I can't say who,
it's a brand thing.
You have to dominate.
Journalism is a battle.
You're giving in.
Idriss, Idriss?
Next season's coming up, have any
foreign clubs been in touch?
Didn't you hear? I said I can't
answer without my agent.
What's this about?
It's a sort of
introspective look...
I don't do introspective.
He's a footballer,
use your charm.
- Thanks for the tip.
- Sure.
Patricia?
Patricia's the one with big tits.
I'm Solene.
OK, hello.
Exuse me. I wanted to
say, I'm fully available.
- For?
- The introspection thing.
I'm in the middle of it, going
back home after all these years.
Cute, he's gonna see
mom, the farmer.
What's your problem? Want some?
Sorry! You OK?
What was that?
I didn't see a thing.
Whatever it was, we hit it.
Too high for a wild boar.
More like a stag, but a big one!
Could be, but...
Where is it, then?
It's gone away to die.
That's what they do.
Hey, coach!
- What's up Idriss?
- Pee stop, can we?
Use the bus WC.
No way, the cameraman's
stunk it out.
Wait till we're there.
I can't boss. I didn't
go before we left.
- OK, but hurry.
- Right away.
Hey, coach!
- What?
- Can we pee?
OK, go on everyone, hurry up!
CAPLONGUE 1 stadium,
765 seat, 4 ultras.
Teddy to Popeye, do you copy?
I'll call you later. Have fun!
OK, copy that.
Say hi to Satanas
85 and Superwoman.
Teddy, we're sick
of your truckers!
Turn it off, it's so annoying.
- Did you think about the words?
- Yeah.
Here.
Let's see,
Paris, capital city.
Paris, you're so shitty.
That's good. That say's it all.
Paris, capital city.
Paris, you're so shite!
They won't know what hi them!
Mum always said you had
a gift for writing.
You're nothing
without the Ivorian!
Isn't that racist?
Ivorian's not racist. It's
not like I said, black.
Anyway, Diago's not
Ivorian, he's Senegalese.
Senegalese is alright, but
Ivorian's borderline.
Not at all. It's the same thing!
What rhymes with Senegalese?
The club's reputation is on the line.
We don't want bad press.
We don't like Diago
because he's Parisian.
It's a bit like you. Are you
from Paris or here? Who knows?
There's no doubt,
I'm from Caplongue.
- Remind me, where you born?
- Paris.
There you go.
What does that mean? Come on!
My Mum was in Paris and went into labour.
It was an accident.
You're a Parisian!
Hands off the Caplongue anthem.
You've not right.
Pitt, tell him to stop.
Am I from here or not?
Michael, let's say today
is an iniation test.
To be sure you're one of us.
If you pass, you're in.
All for one, Michael.
If you ever cop out
to protect your
Parisian buddies,
you know what to expect. Right?
No, we have to find
something else.
We've got to lose
the Ivorian bit.
We need something
that'll knock them out.
- Will you let me take a look?
- No.
I'm really sorry. That guy was
really getting in my face.
No big deal. Just a nose bleed.
Luckily.
Are we on for the interview?
Let's go Sam. Come on, guys!
I'm sorry!
- Come on. Galliano.
- Thanks, coach.
That's good, let's go.
Souleiman, let's go.
The Parks, come on.
You're really doing my head in.
Come on, lets go.
Yeah, OK, come on, hurry up.
Parisians, all virgins,
Caplongue, big schlong.
Nah, too complicated.
What we need is...
Paris! Paris! Fuck you!
Yeah, that works.
Classic, but effective.
Come on, let's do that.
Paris, Capital city,
Paris, you're so shitty.
Paris, city of light.
Paris, you're so shine.
Paris! Paris! Fuck you!
Paris! Paris! Fuck you!
Hello, gentlemen.
- Hello, boss.
- Not boss, Captain.
So, are you Dingoes
cooking up trouble?
It's the Coyotes, boss.
And I just told
you, it's Captain.
I can see you're prepared.
It'll end as bad as
that Amiens match.
No way, we love the Parisians.
We even hang out wit one.
Michael's pure Parisian.
I'm not Parisian!
You were born there.
Captain, please don't
start with that.
Popeye to Teddy,
we're counting on you
to kick things off!
Turn that off! I told
those things are banned.
And what's that there?
No, those are my flares.
For personal use.
- Lower the window.
- No, I can't.
You lot asked for this!
Stadium ban!
Anything but that! We'll
do whatever you want.
It's the best day of our lives!
Well, use it to reflect
on your existence.
I'm getting sick of soccer.
A bunch of idiots watching
more idiots chasing a ball.
They shout and fight,
dont respect anything.
If it was up to me, I'd ban it.
We've got our tickets
so we're going.
I'll see security
doesn't let you in.
That's not fair.
What's that? I say what's
fair and what's not.
- Who's the law round here?
- You.
I can't hear you. Who's the law?
You're the law.
Right, I am the law.
Now get lost!
Asshole!
Bunch of little shits.
I'll get you.
TELEPHONE RELAY 12km
from the city centre
There are 2 ways. At home,
I cook it in a pot.
It's better in oven,
there's less juice.
Do you put cream in it?
Never.
- Beer?
- Yeah, beer.
Shit!
I'm really sorry. You OK?
Yes, I'm fine.
So then,
Sam Lorit, going back home
seems like a moment
to take stock.
That's going a bit far. I've
still got some miles left in me.
What will it feel like to be
back on the Caplongue pitch?
Well, it's...
How to put it?
- Moving, right?
- Yeah.
That's it.
Exactly, very moving.
Memories flooding back.
Your parents must
be proud of you.
My Mum ran off when I was
a kid, and my dad...
He's gone.
Gone where?
You know, gone. So to speak.
Oh, right, he's dead.
Yeah.
Do you think you'll
move back to Caplongue
after so long away?
Of course, I'm seriously
thinking of moving back.
With my old friends, we could open a
restaurant and train the local kids.
- Really?
- Sure.
I'm just like anyone else,
I want a quiet life,
to raise my kids, and be
involved in my home town.
I think my fame could
really help the place.
BAR IN CAPLONGUE
TOILETS IN BAR IN CAPLONGUE
Well? Does it look real?
Yeah.
All the player's
wives have got them.
I hadn't noticed.
If my Mum saw it, she'd kill me.
- You gonna sulk all night?
- I'm not sulking.
There's a coach-load
of hot guys coming!
And you've got that
crush on Lorit.
It's not a crush.
Idon't give a shit!
Really, you could
make an effort.
- Think Idriss will notice me?
- You're hard to miss.
He's got such a great
body and face.
He's young yet old. There's
only 5 years between us.
Imagine if he kissed me,
or we made love.
Footballer's wife is not a life.
They're bored all day while
their guys play ball.
They don't work.
They get cheated on, they
must all be alcoholics.
It's great.
What if we can't get near them?
Why are you such a downer?
Lighten up, have some fun!
With a Mum like yours,
it's weird you're so...
Or rather so not... You know.
Where is she, anyway?
In Thailand with her new guy.
Cool!
Remember when we used
to dress the same?
Excuse me for being feminime.
Right.
Who's this lot?
What a bunch of freaks!
Damn, I haven't been vaccinated.
You're such a jerk.
Caplongue! caplongue!
Jump if you're from Caplongue!
Jump if you're from Caplongue!
Sell out!
Sell out! Get lost!
Go home Lorit sell out!
Go home!
How are you, buddy?
We're going to destroy you. We'll
make you weep, out your ass.
You talking to me?
- An autograph?
- No, get lost.
I like you.
Idriss!
Sam, hey!
If you'd said, we'd have
gone in the back door.
I don't know what's
got into them.
You stop here, I'm afraid.
No cameras while we're talking.
Clear?
But I just have a
question for Sam.
What for? To upset
him even more?
Hey, kiddo. It's a guy thing.
Smiles don't work.
It takes balls.
Well, Fred, kiddo,
that's not gonna happen.
Ok, so what do we do?
We'll profile the
locals to keep busy.
I was here 17 years ago
for the game against Paris.
The French cup.
We were a whisker
away from winning.
It was right down to the wire.
Of course, we lost our striker.
Yes, Sam Lorit.
It was something.
He went to Paris, so obviously,
we were left with a bad
taste in our mouths
because he lost us that
match, he really did.
He used to hit me, right there.
More than once.
He chased me too,
but I liked him.
- You knew him well.
- I did, but that was in high school.
- It leaves a mark.
- It does.
This is what Lorit's gonna get!
Take that!
Bitter, yeah, you
could say that.
He was very fit, even then.
He fucked everyone, anyway.
- Very athletic.
- Don't lay it on too thick.
- I'm talking sport with the lady.
- I think she gets it.
Come on, Caplongue!
Who's your best player
since Lorit left?
Jeannot, he's a hard man.
He's a man of his word.
Jeannot's worth 10
Lorits, 100 even.
He's a real man.
Lorit!
- Excuse me, sir.
- Not now.
- Are you supporting Caplongue tonight?
- He hasn't got time!
Just a question about Sam Lorit.
Go bother someone else.
That'll do, cut.
Wow, they really hate Lorit.
It's a good story.
Seems the guy deflowered all
the girls before leaving.
And all the dads, brothers
and husbands are after him.
That's your story.
Fascinating.
What do we do?
Come on.
Tonight at Lagrippe
Stadium, come and support
your favourite team, Caplongue.
Lorit! Nice welcoming committee!
How come they love you so much?
- Can't you leave me alone?
- I like you too much.
OK, guys, let's focus.
There's no such thing
as a minor game.
This is huge for them.
So no cruising out
there, I want action!
Listen to the instructions
and concentrate.
How can I help the team?
What can I do? Who's with me?
That's what soccer's all about!
Simple as that.
Tonight, let's hear the
Lagrippe faithful. Hip, hip!
Hooray!
I'm so exited!
- You OK?
- Fine.
OK, Joao,
solid.
Xavier, up front,
feed your partner.
Souleiman, you're to soft.
Asem, same as last time,
only better!
You Parks, move up quick
and support the wingers.
Weren't there three of them?
Shit! We lost one.
We'll have to do without.
Guys, let's do it right.
We've still got a few games
to end on a good note.
I know it's the transfer season,
and some of you have got
your minds elsewhere.
If only you knew!
Alright, ladies? How's it going?
Nice tights.
What do you want?
Nice to see you, too.
I thought I'd visit the
provinces, see how it's going,
see why you struggle so much.
Just kidding.
How are the joints?
I love old guy.
I've got some big news
that I'd like to tell
the guy concerned.
See this pretty face? It's
worth 35 million euros!
- You spoke to London?
- I sure did.
You're London's new striker.
Guys, I told you so!
London, guys, I knew it!
Thanks, Marco!
My pleasure, you deserve it.
Manu,
you'll stay next season.
I tried hard with the Krauts,
they wanted Castellari.
Is that it? Are you done?
Now get out, Zombroni. Don't
upset them before the game.
Cool it, tiger. You're
not playing Madrid.
Guys, let's put on a
good show tonight.
Idriss, up front, a team game.
What?
Hold on, you're not
playing the kid?
For now, he's still ours.
Isn't the contract signed yet?
Sure! Well, as good as.
You just have to do a
physical for the insurance.
Sam, you're captain,
show some enthusiasm.
Yes.
Go easy on the kid, OK?
He'll play and sweat,
like the others.
You're a regular General Patton!
Very impressive.
You should thank me.
With that transfer free, the
club could buy 3 more Koreans.
And maybe a new coach, cos
you've really let them down.
Get out of here now.
What a fun bunch.
Hurry along, there's
not many seats left.
The Lagrippe Stadium hasn't
been so full for a long time.
Tonight, all Caplongue is here.
Now weddings, funerals
or christenings
were held today, because
Caplongue has priorities.
And today in Caplongue,
soccer is king again!
You got the tickets 6 months
ago, and I'm in row B.
It's crap. You see much
better from up there.
Concentrate, guys!
Play me for 5 minutes,
just for show.
No, you play as long as
I say, we have to win.
And Idriss, pass
the ball to Sam.
No, coach, whenever I
do, he's always late.
It's his town, he's captain,
make him look good.
Lets hear it fo Caplongue!
Azincourt, #2, is captain.
But Jean Belvaux, #10,
is nowhere to be seen.
And now Paris come
onto the pitch.
The captain's armband is worn
by Samuel Lorit, a local boy,
give him a big hand!
Let's go!
Paris, one from
bottom of League 1,
have come to challenge
Caplongue on their home turf.
Get lost, those are our seats.
Take it easy!
Don't let us down with this.
Yeah, I mean no. I don't
feel great about this.
Honestly, I don't feel
right, I feel sick.
Michel.
The guy will come out of his booth.
As usual.
The cassette player's
on the right.
You go in, insert the cassete,
then press play when we
throw the flares. OK?
You've gotta do it.
You can't back out.
He doesn't want to upset
his Parisian pals.
There's a problem.
What kind of problem?
Jeannot's not here. Can
we delay for 5 minutes?
No way. That's impossible.
They'll tear the place apart!
Sam!
What's up?
You alright?
Yeah.
Do you know Jean Belvaux?
Jeannot? Sure, we used
to play together.
He's not playing.
He didn't show up.
Pity. I'd have liked to see him.
Actually, it's good for us.
Now go!
The coach makes a
late tactical change,
and Franck Boucet comes on.
And that's it, game on!
Ready for kick off.
It'll be underway soon.
A good clean game,
respect the opposition.
Good luck.
Good luck, guys.
You know you're not going
to walk out of here.
Go on Jeannot!
Go, Caplongue!
Come on!
Come on!
Hold onto the ball!
Hammer them!
Play on!
Get up, Mr Lorit.
Shit, that was a foul!
Stick on him, have him!
What's he up to?
Idrisss!
Idriss! Let it go.
Step off the gas.
Come on, Idriss, put
some effort in!
Idriss!
I was unmarked!
What the fuck are you doing?
Come on!
It's here.
Fuck!
No sign of his buddy?
No.
We'd better call for back-up.
That'll be hard.
He's burnt it all out.
It's all cos of soccer.
Shoot right!
Bastard!
Shoot!
Fuck you!
- What the hell?
- Asshole!
- What's your problem?
- Fuck off! Go on, get lost!
Idriss, substitution.
Get out of my face!
Fuck you! No way!
Lorit, get lost!
Lorit, off!
A yellow, fair
enough, but not red!
You saw, it wasn't deliberate.
Yeah, and 17 years ago
it wasn't either.
What?
You're still stuck on that?
You can all fuck off!
I don't need you! I never did!
Lorit, off!
I asked you to go, Lorit.
Don't make it worse.
Quitter scumbag.
No! No!
Asshole! Lorit the whore!
That one was
deliberate, asshole.
What the hell...
Where you off to?
The toilet.
But it's just hotting up.
I'll be right back.
Yeah, right.
I promise.
Lorit the whore
- Has it started?
- Yes, without Jeannot.
How can that be?
- I don't know.
- He was supposed to get here.
Lorit!
Time to go.
- Come on!
- Yeah, yeah.
Here I go.
Guys!
We are Caplongue!
Guys, I can't do it! It's off!
Fuck! Where's the song?
I knew that jerk
would let us down.
It's Jeannot!
Guys, Jeannot's here.
Kill them, Jeannot!
This is the men's locker room.
I know, I wanted to talk to you.
Really?
To tell me what?
That I betrayed you all?
That you'll crucify me?
OK, forget it.
Yeah, forget it.
Screw soccer.
Then what?
I'd like you to give me
a little of your time.
You of age?
Absolutely.
Let's get drunk.
My friend...
- Now!
- OK.
Go, Jeannot!
What the fuck's going on?
What the hell is that?
We have to get the kid off.
They just leave the
bar unattended?
That's the Caplongue mentality.
See that?
That's me.
Yeah.
What's your name?
Cleo.
Chloe? Nice.
Thanks, but it's Cleo.
E, O. Cleo.
Why?
Why, what?
That's not a name.
It is. It's mine, anyway.
Right.
I'm crap at this.
A bitter defeat.
Just help yourself!
Don't worry, I'll pay it.
I'll buy the bar if I want.
Know how much I earn?
I don't really care.
You got a real
problem round here.
Grudges are the local religion.
You're from here.
And I'm leaving ASAP.
Unless we spend a
little time together.
- You're quite cute.
- Excuse me?
I mean, you'll do.
Footballers don't
just go for models.
You're wasting your time.
- So you're not the kind who...
- Who what?
-A girl you give money to...
- And who does what?
- You give her money, then she...
- You think I'm whore?
Yes, no, wait. I don't mind.
You take me for a hooker.
You're sick!
Hey, you came to
the locker room,
you brought me here. I just
got the wrong idea, Cleo.
Take it easy.
- If you don't ask...
- Loser.
Fuck you, bitch.
What the hell?
They're vomiting everywhere,
biting each other.
They're trashing everything.
They're turning into savages.
There's hundreds dead!
The whole Paris team is gone!
It's a massacre!
Shit! What do we do?
We do like Pop. We
get outta here!
Ah, Fred!
What?
She must be off her face.
She works in TV.
We have to shut this!
Thanks.
And who are you?
I'm his daughter.
GOAL OF THE DEAD
SECOND HALF
Miss!
What the hell is going on?
You little hoodlums! What
did you do that woman?
- What woman?
- That one, dammit!
Do something, boss,
they're nuts!
- They got Cuillere!
- They're mad!
Yeah, right. I've had
enough of you boys.
Public disorder, harassment,
and you're drunk to boot.
- No way!
- It's not a riot. It's the apocalypse!
- The apocalypse.
- Yeah!
And they're very rude!
I'm sick of you, welfare all
week and weekend thuggery.
Think I like it?
It's community service for you.
Let's go!
- It's over.
- You can't do that.
Very good, Annabelle! Great!
Good one!
Annabelle?
Take it easy, Annabelle.
Don't leave us to die!
- It's OK, boys. I got this.
- The keys!
You must have 400 of them!
It's here. I'll find it!
That's the cellar,
that's the garage...
I know...
I'll be right back. I got
a spare in the office.
Help!
Teddy, we got to go.
Give it all you got.
Go for it!
Fucking hell!
Go, go, go, guys!
Carole Pinchon.
Ever heard of her?
Carol Pinchon? You
must be mistaken.
We'll see.
Typical male amnesia.
Not you, too?
I'm just listening to her.
Oh, I get it.
You rehearsed this. You
want money, is that it?
It's all a set up?
We want nothing from you.
She never mentioned you.
She just cried over some photos.
- Photo of who?
- Who did you think?
What does that prove? Loads
of women have my photo!
What a shitbag!
We could all die here. It's not
the time for family problems.
Get the fuck away!
Have they gone?
You just have to be firm.
Oh shit!
Did you see their faces?
This is some weird shit!
I got to put you down now.
You OK?
No network, dammit!
Can I call my family?
Move back a little. You're
invading my personal space.
Great idea to hide in this rat
hole with the local leech.
Will we die?
I probably won't, but in that
state, you probably will.
Be nice to the players.
Are you going to puke?
Give me some space!
What do they want? It's just
soccer, it's nothing personal!
It's these losers big day,
so they want to make it worth it.
They want to have a good time.
They want to kill us!
It's down to lack
of sporting spirit.
What does your spirit get us?
We should stick
with our own kind.
London's finished for me.
Why do you say that?
Can't you hear it?
Big ben's calling. I'll get you out.
Don't worry about the old man.
If you puke on my shoes,
I'll rip your head off.
I don't know what's
happening to me.
You got a thing...
Right there.
- Where?
- Up a bit.
There. Oh, forget it.
Come to the bathroom, big fella.
Come on, let's go.
Come on.
That's it. Better out than in.
That's it, good job.
This isn't a training
session, old man!
The most important thing
is to say together.
That shrimp can take
care of himself.
He's all I'm interested in.
That's all.
This is getting bad. It's
time to get serious.
Defensively, we're screwed.
We have to attack.
That's it. Grandpa's off.
This is a locker room. It's my domain.
Shut up and listen.
We'll set an aim.
Idriss, hold back.
We'll need your speed.
Marco, make space. 2
in front, 2 behind.
He's losing the plot.
Incredible.
It's all to play for.
We didn't do all this
work for nothing.
All our efforts
are going to pay off today.
We need to take back the pitch.
Inch by inch.
If we work together,
we can do it.
Together, we are everything.
Alone, we're nothing.
That's soccer.
It's life.
It's togetherness.
It's the team.
Oh fuck!
I'll show you a face!
Get out!
What about Coach?
Don't touch him, that
stuff's contagious!
- We can't leave him like that!
- He's screwed.
He's mutating. Get the
hell out of here.
- Now what?
- I don't know.
There's only one
place we can go.
- Where?
- You know perfectly well!
- Oh, no.
- Oh, yes.
Absolutely not.
- What's wrong?
- Nothing.
Like father, like
daughter, clearly.
I won't go.
Stay here and die then. I don't care.
I'm going.
How dare she?
Did you see that? If I
was her father, I'd...
Wait for me! I just
played a match!
Shit, I've got cramp. Cramp!
What the hell's going on?
They trashed everything.
Oh shit, Gregoire...
Dammit!
Nothing's working.
With all the down, we're
totally isolated.
How do we get word out?
I've no idea.
We're not equipped
for this shit.
They're not giving up.
What's going on?
That fuck's eating my
fake leather seats!
That won't blow their heads off.
Nobody's blowing anything off.
We aim for the legs.
We all knoe each other here.
3 have come back.
The big one's all lopsided.
- Help! Open up!
- Go away!
- Don't shoot, I play soccer!
- Caplongue or Paris?
Please, I beg you! Open up!
Please, open the door!
Hi, Dad.
Hello.
- Dad?
- Yep.
Dammit, I knew it!
That's not new, is it?
It's nothing. I can walk.
You're not fit.
What? You're paranoid.
It's nothing. The doc said
just to take it a bit easy.
Finally, you're confiding
in Uncle Marco.
You know,
in London, the
weather is horrible.
Your Mum won't be
able to handle it.
- What is this, Marco?
- It's nothing.
You don't care about me.
You just want your money.
Oh poor you. How much
did you earn this year?
I've been playing
soccer since I was 5.
It's my whole life, you hear?
I think about London every day.
I thought we were pals.
We are, but we don't have
to do everything together.
Don't do this to me.
What the hell?
Thanks.
Idriss Diago! I
don't believe it.
Weird, huh?
- You said your dad was dead.
- Did you?
No. I never said that. She's twisting
my words. She's a journalist.
And I'm his daughter.
A granddaughter?
Yes. I mean no. That's what she says.
I don't remember her Mum.
It's handy for you,
forgetting things.
- He tried to chat me up.
- What?
She's lying! It was her. She
said she was old enough.
I'm 17.
- I didn't know.
- You jerk.
Your Mum's name?
- I got an idea...
- This is family talk.
Carole Pinchon.
Yes, Carole Pinchon.
Slim girl, perky.
Carole Pinchon!
- Straight hair?
- Yes!
- Brunette?
- My Mum's blond.
- Can I just say...
- You can just shut your mouth.
You succeded at something.
I'm a success, dad.
No you're not. Being a soccer
player is not a proper job.
But you, you can
call me grandpa!
- Whoa, there.
- Can I...
You don't to call me grandpa?
- Yes.
- Yes, who?
- yes Grandpa?
- Good.
- Boss?
- Pitt's got an idea.
What is it?
I was thinking about the
CB radio in the car.
I've just had an idea. You
got CB radio in the car?
- Yes.
- Then we've got CB in the car!
Let's go!
No, you stay there. The
women stay inside.
Wow!
Shit, I don't believe this.
You didn't die?
Yes, I did.
But I resuscitated.
I'm pleased for you.
And Idriss?
3 days ago, we were
spitting at you on TV.
And that hand-goal against Lorient.
The ref never saw it!
It's not my fault.
No, I think you're cool.
You got a great future.
I'm like you. I live
but I'm from Paris.
I'm not from Paris. I'm
from the Val d'Oise.
Where's that, then?
You go to Cergy-le-Haut on
the A line, then you...
Forget it.
- Is there a way out?
- Of course.
What's that?
It's a cassette.
- They don't exist anymore.
- Yes, they do here.
- What's on it?
- Mainly music.
What's it for?
Trust me.
You're off your head.
He always put me down.
He's just a bit grouchy is all.
He's never come to a single game.
Not one!
That's how he is.
Not human?
What are we doing here?
We wait, in silence.
Good plan.
Chill out!
You don't remember me?
Because we already met.
Yes...
Yes, yes. I was just
thinking that...
- Are you hitting on her?
- Can you stop with the teenage thing?
Thanks.
It was at the party after
the match against Guingamp.
In the locker room.
- We drank a little too much.
- Yes.
- Yes. You and me.
- Yes.
- Just us two?
- Of course.
Maybe you were with
a bunch of swinger?
But after, establishing
paternity can be tricky.
So your Mum's a saint?
Finally, he's getting it.
So we did...
Sometimes I'm not very subtle.
You pucked up and passed out.
I Walked in it next morning.
But just before...
We must have...
No, we didn't.
This is Teddy. Do you copy?
This is Teddy of the Coyotes.
Anyone copy?
Teddy, this is Popeye. You OK?
Roger that. How are you?
Did you stuff the Parisians?
This is Captain Lorit.
Caplongue is under siege. I
repeat, Caplongue is under siege.
Send a SWAT team and army!
Yeah, I'll call them. I
got their cell number!
Hello Army? It's Popeye. I need a
nuclear sub for an hour or 2...
Listen to me, cretin,
and do what I say.
Move your ass and
get back to me, OK?
Shoot, Teddy! Shoot!
S-o-n-o-f-a-b-i-t-c-h!
For fuck's sake!
Shit, it stings!
They're coming!
Quick, quick, quick!
What happened?
He shot me in the belly.
It went in there...
What a mess.
No bars.
No bars.
The poor kid.
He tried to be tough
but he was a good kid.
I like him.
Diago, his knee was in bits.
In 2 years, it'd be fucked.
You left him behind, too?
You're a scumbag, Zombroni.
You toss them aside and move on.
Come on. Don't give
me all that again.
Money's killing soccer, the true
value of the sport, blah blah.
The world's changed, old man.
You know what their
lives are like.
We take them out of the projects and
send them to training camp at 13.
Stop it, I might cry.
Then what's their new
life like, Marco?
Soccer, PlayStation,
more soccer.
Money and whores are
all they care about.
What's wrong with that?
Scumbags like you are
ruining the game.
You'd have let Idriss be handed
around from club to club.
So it's all for the best.
He's out of all that.
Yes, but it's over.
I've waited for this
moment for ages.
And I'm not going to waste it.
You know, I like you, Etienne.
We've had our differences but...
But now, right now,
I like you.
But if you don't want to get eaten,
we better plan our escape damn quick.
Nobody's leaving here.
We'll both die.
But I'm going to deal with you.
And you're lucky
because I still believe in
good old sporting values.
Fair and square.
- What are you doing?
- Put 'em up!
You've really lost it, Etienne.
You're a drag.
For fuck's sake!
Sorry Etienne, are you OK?
I had to put a stop to it.
Put 'em up!
Put 'em up!
OK, fine.
If that's what you want.
I'll smash your face in.
That's great! Give it your all!
Give it your all! Yeah!
I'm glad I met you
before I died.
- Me, too.
- You're not dying.
- He won't die, will he?
- It's very bad.
Is Dr Belvaux still around?
Don't go to Belvaux.
I'm taking him.
- I'll come.
- I will too, then.
You there, watch her.
We're not babysitters.
They're just drunks.
And smoking pot is better?
You take drugs?
Of course not, Grandpa.
We're getting the point here.
I don't care. I'm going.
Do what your dad says.
Just look at this mess!
- Here, kitty!
- Come along!
What do we do, Pitt?
Come on, come and get it.
Here, kitty!
There's lots and lots
and lots of them!
Here! Come on!
Come on, come on...
Come on!
No, no, no!
- Here!
- We're over here!
Caplongue asshole!
Caplongue motherfuckers!
Yeah! Your mother, your sister,
your brother and your father!
Bunch of dickwads!
Up your ass! Up your ass!
I never felt part of a whole.
It's like there's something inside
me that needs to be different.
To emerge, to flourish, to
affirm myself, to be myself...
To get back to my roots.
No, listen,
I like my friends here,
but it's not the same.
I really identify with you.
Just wait a sec...
And let me tell you something...
This chat's really doing me good.
- Do yourself good over there, pal.
- No, because we're the same.
We're the same. Not
physically, of course.
But we feel rejected, we're
seeking our origins.
Me, here, coming
from the capital,
and you, your African side...
Great ancestral traditions,
arid landscapes... You get me?
- Not at all.
- Sure you do.
Integration, for example.
What integration?
I was born here!
Under that manly
protective shell...
There's a gentle heart.
Sorry about your bag.
It doesn't matter.
Have you got a cig?
I don't smoke.
Of course. You look
after your dream body.
You think I'm dumbass.
Aren't you a little egocentric? It's
all me, me, me and my problems...
Not at all. I love listening
to other people's stories.
I'm really fantastic listener.
Go right ahead.
I'm a dolly bird on TV
dressed up to the nines,
but my dream was to be a
foreign correspondent,
reporting on wars, famines...
And I'm at the end of my career,
lying about my age, no
idea about my future...
People always confuse me with
that fat tart on the weather.
I'll have to do
washing powder ads.
Or worse, charity stuff.
I've got a drink problem.
I just got stuck with a
stroppy 17-year-old.
Yep...
Indeed.
He kept it all, the swine!
The club from when I was a kid,
my molotov cocktails!
Look, this is yours.
Last year's smoke bombs.
Look, there's even
Michel's knife.
Give me a beer.
To Michael.
And to Cuillere.
Is there anyone in your life?
Apart from the editor who turns up when
his wife's at club Med with the kids?
- Apart from him.
- Then, no.
Solangue, if we ever
get out of here...
- Would you have dinner with me?
- Actually...
It's OK if not.
No, I'd like it, if we
ever get out of here.
Cool.
But I'd prefer you
to call me Solene.
Don't you get bored
drinking all day?
No.
Perhaps if your dad
hadn't run off...
- What the hell?
- Then Caplongue would have gone pro.
We'd have opened a sports
store, made a fortune,
we'd be married, would
have had kids...
Yeah.
And wouldn't drink
to get over it.
So my dad's responsible
for your pathetic lives?
So is he your dad or not?
Yes, he's my dad.
What do you mean?
Give me a beer.
Come on.
Stay there, dad.
Where am I going to go?
- Someone's there.
- They might be like the others.
You're right. I'll
go round back.
Come back!
- I got this. Stay there.
- I will.
Oh shit!
Hide!
It's that girl again!
She's after me.
You two have got something.
She's got something
with herself!
Look at her! She's not my type!
OK, I'll do her. I'll do her.
Doctor?
Doctor?
You asshole!
Doctor? Oh shit!
Sorry, I though you were a...
You know...
- Come on.
- Let's go, Dad.
Here we go.
Idriss!
OK.
Take it easy...
Let me look at him.
Now...
Let's have a look.
That's not good. It's
starting to weep.
That's very nasty indeed.
Gently! It hurt like a bastard!
No way!
Yeah, I took a while
to find myself.
- Mullets were cool back then.
- That's no what I mean.
He came onto the pitch earlier.
- He contamined everyone.
- Jeannot?
Excuse me...
I'm going to fetch my bag.
What are you talking about?
He's really weedy.
No, he's a hulking great guy.
- Something's not right...
- What?
- What's got into you?
- Into me?
- You're crazy!
- You want to know?
You destroyed my son's
life, is that OK for you?
He never did anything with his life.
He became a loser.
You could have brought
him up to Paris.
You could have found
him a little place.
We could fix it... - Shut up!
Quitter! Traitor! Ungrateful shit!
You never visited.
You never even sent a postcard,
or opened a supermarket.
Nothing.
And you really made
your dad suffer.
That's true.
Sorry, Edouard. He
is my son after all.
Fucking hell.
I let everyone down.
Now's not the time.
It could've been different.
- I know I did some shit.
- Sam...
We should have done
stuff together.
Let me talk.
In fact...
What is it, Dad?
I...
I forgive you.
I love you.
I love you too, Dad.
You fucker! Sorry.
You son of bitch!
That's very rude, Dad.
Listen, you have to
promise me something...
Take care of little Cleo.
I promise.
Little cocksucker! Oh
fuck, that little whore!
Cleo's a little cocksucker!
What's wrong?
She sucks cocks, I swear it!
- Calm dawn.
- Get the fuck out of here!
- I love you.
- Me too.
Fuck, fuck! Dirty whore!
- Get out of here! Go!
- Calm down, dad!
- Let's go!
- Get the fuck out!
Dirty fucking whore!
Disgusting little...
Paris, city of light,
Paris, city of shite.
Paris, capital city
Paris, city of shitty.
Paris, city of light,
Paris, city of shite.
Paris, Paris, fuck you!
Did you hear that?
- Fuck, they stole our song!
- It's us, you idiot!
It's in the stadium.
We'll I never. Michael did it!
Didn't Michael die?
Yes. A bit.
What do you mean, a bit?
His hand was going like that.
Like when you die.
- You left him there?
- I didn't know!
- You asshole, Teddy!
- Calm down.
We have to do something.
We have to go. It's at
the stadium, right?
Stop following orders.
Right?
Time to take charge, guys!
Show them what you're made of.
Make them take notice.
Is Michel your friend or not?
- Yes.
- Of course.
So... No?
She's right, dammit.
Enough of being losers.
- Lets grab the hand of fate!
- Right!
Michel need us.
Caplongue need us.
- Teddy?
- And me?
- What?
- Me.
I told your grandpa
you'd stay here.
- What?
- I'm not taking a kid along.
- Me neither.
- Right.
OK.
Know what you get
for touching kids?
- What?
- 2, 3 years. Plus the trauma.
What are you talking about?
They...
They forced me...
They were there with their...
I can't say it.
They broke me.
- I'll never be the same.
- OK, fine, you can come.
Gone to the Stadium. Cleo.
She drives me mad!
Give us a push.
Michel?
Bene?
Bene?
Hey, Fred!
Wait!
Am I standing up for myself now?
Michel!
Chloe?
Don't forget, because...
What did they do you do?
Not so hot now, are
you, you idiot!
What did you do to my daughter?
Your daughter?
My little Clio!
What the hell?
It's not Clio. It's Cleo.
I was so worried!
Wait, wait! I...
OK. OK.
Carole Pinchon.
A little blond
bombshell, a majorette.
To me, she was Coco.
I loved her. I had no idea...
Forgive me.
I'm sorry.
Hold on just a second. I
think I missed something.
By the way, you're really
rocking the warrior thing.
If you want to do that
interview, I'm up for it.
Idriss!
What? She's your chick as well?
That's right. I'm his chick.
OK, I get it.
It's was the apocalypse, so well
get to screw whoever we want.
Is there anyone left for me?
Pitt!
Hey! You guys!
I'm in the booth. Over here!
They're going to
see us, the fool!
I did it! It's great!
I'm one of you guys!
Come down here!
I don't understand you!
Speak clearly!
I'm coming. I'm on my way.
Oh shit. Michel! Come down!
What's that?
Tonight at Lagrippe Stadium,
support your favourite team,
Caplongue!
And tonight...
Daddy!
- What do they want?
- What is it?
- What do they want?
- Soccer!
Let's give it to them.
Ready? -OK.
- No, no.
- It'll be fine.
Thanks.
Go on, Sam! Go on!
Dad!
Run! Go for it!
Pitt! I did it!
I totally aced it!
That's, Pitt!
I'm one of yours!
Sam!
Don't leave me behind!
Wait for me!
Look out!
Paris Olympique! Paris is magic!
I fucked him up!
I fucked him up, Sam!
Hey, Jeannot!
Jeannot, it's Samuel.
Wait, Jeannot. I
know you're mad...
Can't we just talk about it?
Ok. I did a really shitty thing.
Maybe you don't care now...
But I want you to know,
I never found a friend like you.
You were right. Paris is crap.
This is our home.
We'll be together now, OK?
Jeannot?
Open up!
Hey, Teddy?
- Popeye?
- That right. Are you OK?
How are you?
Fine. You take soccer
seriously round here.
Can we go now?
Sure. Jump in.
Who's that talking?
Is it the army?
I told you I had their number.
I don't believe it!
Hey Cleo. You ever seen the
Eiffel Tower in real life?
You fancy going together?
I'd love it.
That huge steel tower, so
fragile and powerful...
To me, it's...
You never shut up, do you?
wiowood, kendari 8/10/2014
Welcome to Caplongue!
This is the bar I took over.
I hired my childhood
pals to lend a hand.
It was tricky to start,
but we get along now.
Just a question of approach.
Paulo! Can you bring me a beer?
Yeah, that's great.
That's the right glass.
Go no, show us what you do.
Now, what do you do first?
There you go,
that;s good, Paulo.
That'll do OK.
OK, here we go.
Stop! Stop!
What a barman, huh?