(# ""Big Boots"" by Hello Stranger)
(beep)
(clears throat)
Hi.
- Just these?
- Yeah.
Uh... can I make a suggestion?
I thought this Iooked Iike it had amazing
potentiaI too, but it is actuaIIy reaIIy bad.
It's, Iike, two definiteIy underage
European girIs
hitchhiking through
the most unattractive shots of Germany,
greasy fat guys,
Iike, basicaIIy, raping them.
I-i-i-it's a turn-off.
We shouId probabIy move it
to a different section - Iike ''bad''.
Um...
- Do you wanna pick out something eIse?
- No, thanks.
- Are you sure? We're open tiII midnight.
- Just these.
Just these three, then?
OK.
- WiII you, uh...?
- Yeah.
How're you doing?
Great.
- OK. Get that.
- (beep)
- Two seconds.
- (beep)
(beep)
Due back Friday before midnight.
Dude.
You can't taIk to the porn customers
the same way you taIk to the ones
who are renting Truffaut for the 12th time.
- That was an incredibIy odd exchange.
- Thanks, dude.
I think it's cooI.
Now we know she's not mute.
(laughter)
- We're in a new period of time.
- McDonaId's on every corner in PoIand.
- Right, dude?
- Yep.
Think we're free cos we can choose
between a Iatte or a mocha in Starbucks?
- That's not freedom, man.
- Bad situation. Bad situation.
History's cycIicaI.
It's aII gonna come back around.
- BuIIshit! We're aII fucked.
- You guys been watching CharIie Rose?
We are changing
what it means to be human.
Oh, come on. I mean, we've aIways been
changing what it means to be human.
The penduIum has to swing aII the way to
the extreme before it swings back again.
PenduIum? What are you taIking about?
I'm taIking about the end of the worId.
- Good night.
- Later, dude.
- (woman) Hello?
- Uh...
- DeIivery.
- What?
UPS.
One moment.
(buzzer)
Hi.
- Don't I know you from the video store?
- I was there yesterday.
Yeah, yeah!
Hey, uh, maybe we couId... Oh!
..uh, just get a coffee or something?
Just as friends or fiIm buffs?
(giggling)
- Can we rent aII of these?
- Can we rent aII three?
- PIease. We Iove AIain DeIon.
- Sure.
When are they due back?
(laughter)
- What?
- How Iong can we rent them?
Uh, Wednesday before midnight.
(laughter)
Hey. It's me.
I have a friend in the buiIding.
I just wanted to Iet you know,
cos yesterday...
Uh, anyway, I, uh...
I have a present for you.
It's a reaIIy great one.
OK. I-I'd stiII Iike to take you out.
We couId go to the, um...
Museum of Jurassic TechnoIogy.
Do you know about that pIace?
I'm reaIIy great at picking out fiIms
for peopIe.
It's... it's a gift I have.
If you can even caII this a fiIm.
- This is from the video store?
- Oh, yeah.
Uh, yes, it is.
But, you know, no charge, or...
- I'II return it with the others.
- CooI.
Oh, when you know me
there aren't any Iate fees, so...
Hope you enjoy it.
(buzzer)
(door bell)
- Hi.
- Yes?
What did you think?
Can I come in?
- No. No!
- Can I come in for a second?
My... great-aunt
had to go to the hospitaI.
What?
She's the one who Iives in the buiIding.
Guess I'm Iooking after her pIace now.
But did... did you wanna
get some breakfast or something?
- I couId reaIIy go...
- No.
Don't ask me again.
It's a waste of time to keep asking me.
I'm sorry about your aunt.
I hope she's OK.
So that's a bIack mamba.
First deadIiest snake in the entire worId.
Hey, here she comes.
Hey.
I don't know what the second deadIiest is.
You said taipan?
(door bell)
(girl) Go away!
- No, pIease. Something's happened!
- Go away! I'II caII the super!
No, pIease. I need your heIp.
She died.
(sobbing) She's dead.
PIease can I come in?
I don't have anyone.
I'm aII aIone.
She died.
I don't have anyone.
- Oh, fuck! What is that thing for?
- It's in case you fucking try anything.
(sniffs)
Um, can I open some windows?
I just feeI Iike I can't breathe.
(sighs)
TaIk.
I was gonna taIk.
About my great-aunt.
TaIk then.
WeII, um...
you have a reaIIy nice apartment.
- Which apartment did she Iive in?
- Uh...
- Is this trash?
- Yeah.
I'm gonna...
I'm gonna throw it away. OK?
OK.
You wanna know something
my great-aunt said tonight?
What?
She said, um, ''KnowIedge is when
you Iearn something new every day,
wisdom is when
you Iet something go every day.''
Emerson said that.
- You know that quote?
- Yeah.
She didn't come up with that one
on the spot tonight, sorry.
WeII, anyway, she knew the quote.
I knew your aunt.
I'd see her at the maiIbox downstairs.
She aIways said heIIo to me.
Um...
It's OK to watch erotica.
And I say that as a IifeIong CathoIic.
CathoIics are pervs.
- Not me.
- WeII, you're not a priest.
You're right.
I am not a priest.
No one reaIIy gets fucked in the fiIms
you rent. There's no penetration.
And I aIso understand the aIIure of the
oId battered VHSs. They're Iike antiques.
I don't wanna taIk about it.
Yeah, OK.
Neither do I.
I think you just caII it
that pIace between your coIIarbones.
Is it the sternum?
Yeah. Maybe.
Anyway...
I gotta go to bed.
(sighs)
I'm reaIIy sorry about your aunt.
Um...
CouId I...
maybe sIeep on your couch tonight?
Um...
Hey, why are you Iate?
You know it's Simon's day off.
- I have never been Iate before.
- I know.
- I thought you were dead.
- Sorry. I am so sorry.
Your mamus caIIed.
- Oh, fuck! That's right, it's Wednesday!
- Yeah.
Yeah, she had a bit of an emotionaI
outburst cos you missed your phone date.
You've never been Iate before.
She started screaming at me in PoIish.
- I've had to smoke this to reIax.
- I'm sorry.
(phone rings)
That'II be her.
Every ten minutes for a soIid two hours.
She's scaring Derek.
Czesc mamus.
- She's messed up, Simon.
- You don't know that, dude.
She just doesn't Iove me. And me having
this whoIe Iot of Iove for her doesn't heIp.
I've been thinking
about the great writers.
How many of them were reaIIy in Iove?
In Iove for decades?
None of them.
How many were in Iove with some girI
they were fucking at the time
who didn't even Iove them back,
in this IoneIy torturous existence?
An empty fucking cave.
- Did you find her cIit, Simon?
- What?
You know where her cIit is, right?
I think so.
- You don't know?
- Yeah, I know.
So where is it?
- It's... it's... it's where everything...
- Where?
- It's where aII the stuff is.
- It Iooks Iike the fIux capacitor.
Oh, my God!
- Stop Iooking at me, Eric.
- I thought you knew.
This accounts for 90% of your probIems
with this chick, I swear.
- You don't know what it is, do you?
- It's an anatomicaI part of the femaIe...
- vagina.
- (sniggers)
Shut the fuck up, Derek.
- Do you know what it is?
- The cIitoris? Yes, I do.
I am reIigious about the cIitoris.
(door bell)
(door bell)
- Did you get the tape?
- Yeah, I got it.
You're Iiking them, right?
Shut up.
They're terribIe, but...
but that's part of it for you, right?
Where's your cross?
Checking out my neck, huh?
- I know you're not CathoIic.
- Yeah. Sorry.
No. It stiII counts.
I'd Iike you to wear it.
- It's better safety than a meat cIeaver.
- Butcher knife.
This wiII keep you safer
than any butcher knife couId.
Safe from you?
I guess. I mean, you feeI Iike
you need protection, so...
- Whoa! Before you put it on!
- What?
I have to wash your hair.
You can't wear a cross with dirty hair.
(girl) Argh!
- Oh, I hate this!
- It's aImost done.
- The water's getting in my eyes.
- It is not. I'm being carefuI. You know it.
OK.
OK. Done.
You're done.
OK. Come here.
Here. Sit right...
PoIish peopIe wash each other?
Yeah.
- I've never heard of that before.
- How many PoIish peopIe do you know?
None.
- You know me.
- Not reaIIy.
- This wiII keep you safe.
- You said that aIready.
- Let me put it on.
- No. I have to put it on.
Fine.
But don't brush my hair any more.
I'm... don't Iike it.
''I'm don't Iike it.''
Do... do you wanna watch
one of your... movies?
Do you wanna watch one together?
You have to go or I'II get upset.
Don't upset me.
OK.
I'm going.
We'II... do it another time.
(clears throat)
I care about you.
Wake up, buddy.
Hi. Excuse me.
What?
RoII down your window, pIease.
Uh... yeah?
You can't be, uh,
sIeeping in the parking Iot.
Um, yeah. My wife kicked me out
for the night, but, uh...
Yeah. I'm sorry. Um...
It's a one-time thing. Won't happen again.
I know, I know. It's just we saw you
for the past six nights or so. So...
Yeah, I know. Um...
She kicked me out a whiIe ago, but I'm
about to get back into her good graces.
But I shouIdn't
be sIeeping in the parking Iot.
Cos, see, if we catch you again
we're gonna have to caII the cops.
And my boss wanted to caII the cops this
morning, but I wanted to warn you first.
- Thank you. Thanks a Iot.
- I'm assistant manager.
Yeah. CooI.
AII right. Um...
AII right. I'm Ieaving now.
Watch your fingers.
Bye.
- (Simon) She doesn't want to see me.
- I'm so sorry, man.
I don't ever want to taIk about this again.
So, um...
It's weird that
that girI stopped coming in.
- Which girI?
- That weird one.
- How Iong's it been?
- (Simon) About a week.
- (Eric) She came in every day.
- (Simon) Late afternoon.
Yeah. It's been ever since
Ioverboy here scared her away.
ToId you she's weird, man.
She's probabIy sitting
in a garbage can,
stiII embarrassed
you tried to taIk to her.
- Isn't it your day off?
- Yeah, what are you, a Ioser?
I was getting some groceries
in the neighbourhood, Simon.
You Iive in Echo Park.
Yeah, I stiII need groceries.
AII the stores in this neighbourhood
are Pan-Asian.
Fuck off, you guys, OK?
Maybe I wanted to make a stir-fry.
PIus there's, Iike, ten grocery stores
within a miIe of your house, dude.
I Iike the breeze on this side of town.
It's... ocean breeze. It... cIears my head.
Yeah. Just admit it, dude.
- What?
- You have no Iife.
Is this because of that bitch
whose cIit you couId never find?
Derek!
You're an imbeciIe.
I'm never taIking to you again.
Agh!
- Dude.
- He bothers me, man. A Iot.
- Have a heart. They just broke up.
- I don't care. He reaIIy bothers me.
I'II sit behind you, Iike this,
so you don't see me.
- OK? And I won't make a sound.
- Not a word.
Promise.
- Do you have a ceIIphone?
- No.
I can't do anything whiIe you're here,
so it kind of ruins it for me.
- Kind of boring if you aren't getting off.
- Shut up.
- You said you wouIdn't taIk.
- You taIked to me.
I can do that. I can taIk to you.
You can't taIk to me.
PIus, I just thought of one more ruIe.
If you get a boner,
you're out.
- WeII...
- Hey.
HoId down the fort, OK?
Eric and I are going next door.
And, uh, Simon's in the back.
Don't teII him where we went.
He'II miss me too much.
Which movie?
OK. CooI.
Is it from the '70s?
WeII, teII me which decade!
I doubt it. Why wouId I Iike it?
You think I'm gonna Iike it that much?
I hate this.
I hate this shit. I hate aII of this buIIshit!
I can't beIieve you thought I'd be into this!
(sighs)
God, I am so bored.
Oh, how big is this guy's dick,
wouId you say?
It's hard to teII.
Not as big as mine, though.
What?
Your penis is not even haIf of that,
I bet.
Excuse me.
How wouId you know?
I've seen it, buIging out your pants,
and it's not that.
So, been checking out my buIge!
- Don't caII it a buIge.
- When was this?
I don't even remember. I just remember
thinking there's probabIy not much to it.
Mm. You must have me
confused with someone eIse.
Look, I don't care.
The size, I don't care.
It's just reaIIy pitifuI if you Iie about it.
OK. That guy is, what?
What wouId you say?
- I'd say I don't care.
- No, Iet's make a bet.
If I am bigger than that guy,
then I get to sIeep in your bed tonight.
No.
Come on! It's a fair bet.
If I am bigger than that guy, I win!
- It's so Iate! No touching...
- No touching?
No touching, I swear. I can't sIeep out here
again. I get so coId. It's desert coId.
- What do I get if I win?
- What do you want if you win?
I want you to not taIk at aII
when you come over here.
Just make the food,
we'II watch the movie
and you don't speak.
I can do that.
OK, weII, proportionaIIy,
Iet's say he's eight.
- Eight and a haIf.
- Sure.
- Let's say eight and a haIf.
- WeII, Iet's just say he's eight.
You have to be bigger than him to win.
Remember?
OK. Uh, weII, how do you want to measure
me? It has to be erect to make it fair.
- Fuck that!
- I do! He is fucking erect!
Fine!
You measure yourseIf, though.
- I'm not fucking touching you.
- Fine.
OK. Um...
Are you gonna put a sock over it
or something?
- Over my cock?
- Don't fucking say ''cock''.
- Over my... dick?
- Ugh.
- You're such a pig.
- Over my... pee-wee?
(laughs)
- This is why you shouIdn't taIk.
- OK. OK. So...
confirming if my... penis is bigger
than eight-and-a-haIf inches,
I get to sIeep in your bed tonight.
Use one of your socks to cover it.
I don't wanna see it.
W-weII, how wiII you be sure how big it is
if you don't see it?
I'II observe from over here.
OK.
Um...
I just have to concentrate.
OK.
I mean it, I wiII caII the poIice
if you rape me.
I'm here every night. Don't you think
I wouId have tried by now?
- Just don't do anything, OK?
- (shouts) OK!
It's coId in your house
in the middIe of the night.
It gets pretty coId.
I'm not trying anything.
Can I just...
put my back up against yours?
OK.
This is caIIed plecki o plecki.
My PoIish grandmother, babcia,
used to make us sIeep Iike this, in pairs,
when we were kids.
She did it as a kid, too. It was the onIy
way they kept warm during the winter.
Plecki o plecki.
They Iived in a hut and she didn't
get her period untiI she was 1 7
cos she was so maInourished.
Plecy are your back.
I mean,
aII your back muscIes are one thing.
But ''plecy' is pIuraI.
That's nice.
I Iove this.
Was your great-aunt PoIish too?
Um, yeah.
It feeIs Iike we're connected.
(laughs)
(water running)
I started my period.
- Let's go out.
- I don't Iike LA.
- What? You Iive here.
- I don't go out to pIaces, I mean.
- You're touching me again.
- I know.
(she sighs)
On the first day of their period,
girIs are sick,
so even if I was a normaI girI, I stiII
couIdn't go anywhere with you today.
You are normaI.
- Hey, do you want some tea?
- Yeah.
- Honey?
- I don't have any.
I brought some for you.
Honey's better than sugar.
Honey's better than sugar?
I bought it for you.
Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I'm fucking... fucking...
I'm fucking. I'm fucking.
I'm gonna come. I'm gonna come.
I'm gonna come.
Uh! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
What do you think?
- I think you're funny.
- You thought that was funny?
Yeah.
Can I do it to you now?
Great.
Uh, whatever you want.
Uh, the same fish
I made Iast week.
We'II chowder the haIibut.
OK, I'II see you after I'm done.
Bye. Thanks for caIIing.
- Who's that?
- A customer.
''See you after I'm done''?
It's a movie.
- ReaIIy?
- Yeah.
It's a Scottish...
movie.
I got some sIeep for the first time in a Iong
time, having you in the bed Iast night.
- That's good.
- Get off!
- Night, you guys.
- Auf Wieder.
- What?
- Auf Wiedersehen.
- I'II see you guys tomorrow.
- Not if I see you first.
- Not taIking to you.
- AII right, goodbye, Simon!
Come on, guys.
- I shouId probabIy head.
- Sit.
Want one?
- No, Eric.
- OK.
Why do you aIways ask me?
It gets annoying.
Dunno. PoIite.
One day you might want one.
- I don't smoke.
- OK.
I went past your pIace yesterday.
Huh?
I went past where your apartment shouId
have been. It was a huge piIe of rubbIe.
It's demoIished, man.
Wire fence, cement mixers...
Yeah, I moved.
- Where to?
- Another apartment.
When?
- A few months ago.
- Why didn't you say anything?
I didn't think it was a big deaI.
- Are you Iiving in your car again?
- No!
So you haven't spent
one night in that car?
- Dude...
- I knew the minute I drove up!
- Listen to me. I have a pIace to go!
- Great. Awesome. Let's see this pIace.
- ShouId I drag you?
- No! No! No!
What the fuck, man?
What's going on?
Are you using again?
I have a pIace.
A nice pIace.
I can't expIain it to you.
Just trust me.
- Trust me, man!
- I know! I do! (laughs weakly)
It's funny? You make me feeI Iike a moron
for ever caring what happens to you.
- Don't feeI Iike a moron.
- Fuck you, man. Fuck you!
- Let's go see this pIace now. Come on.
- No! No!
You can't see it.
I... It's...
- What, is it a pIace onIy you can see?
- No. It's messy!
- It's messy?
- Yeah. It's a mess.
I taIk to you about everything,
and I'm aIways, aIways honest with you.
- Eric.
- No. You don't wanna taIk to me,
I don't wanna taIk to you. Over.
Go sIeep on the beach.
Get fucked in the ass aII night Iong,
cos I don't care any more, man. Done.
- Eric!
- No, I'm going home.
I haven't masturbated in a Iong time.
I'm getting reaIIy sick of you.
- Annie SprinkIe?
- Yeah.
Um...
She does reaIIy great pro-women stuff,
apparentIy.
Eric gave this to me. I shouId have
watched it a Iong time ago.
- What's it caIIed?
- Um...
Zen Pussy.
There's, uh, 1 1 different girIs.
No penises, so you'II Iike it.
(sensual moaning on TV)
It's just extreme cIose-ups of vaginas?
Fast-forward.
See if there's anything eIse on here.
Mm.
Oh, fucking...!
Turn it off!
- ShouId I?
- Yeah. Fuck!
OK. I thought, uh...
That was... Oh, Jesus. Fuck!
That was so fucked up. I'm about to cry.
- That was just, Iike, gynaecoIogicaI.
- Ooh!
''1 1 vuIvas.''
I... I reaIIy think you'II Iike it.
So what's the deaI?
Is it porn?
Uh...
I don't wanna spoiI it.
Just take it home. You'II Iove it.
OK.
I trust your judgement.
So what's, um...
what's the deaI with you and Eric?
- He's not taIking to me.
- Yeah.
Why?
Uh... You shouId just ask him.
You're not reaIIy that easy to taIk to.
You shouId know that.
- It's pIaying next door, I think.
- At the Nuart, yeah. Yeah.
I was thinking,
since she Iiked KiesIowski so much,
and I know you wouIdn't want to
go see the fiIm aIone, and...
If we aII went with you, it might be a IittIe
bit better for you, man. Maybe make you...
Derek, are you saying you want to
see a KiesIowski fiIm with me?
- That's so romantic.
- Is there a midnight movie?
Maybe. Hey, we shouId aII go.
What the heII?
- Yeah?
- Let's go check it out.
Yeah. Let's go check it right now.
Uh, you guys need anything?
Hey, hang on.
I'II go get some smokes with you.
What, are you scared
to be aIone with me?
(dials phone)
Uh, hey, it's me.
Um...
Listen, at midnight
they're pIaying a KiesIowski fiIm,
and I just wanted to see
if you wanted to come.
It's gonna be reaIIy good,
so, um... come meet aII the dudes.
AII right. HopefuIIy I'II see you there.
It's at midnight. Bye.
- Where's dinner?
- Huh?
I thought you were gonna
bring pizza tonight. Mushrooms.
I don't wanna eat pizza
in the middIe of the night.
- WeII, I do.
- WeII, you shouId get on that.
Why didn't you answer the phone
when I caIIed?
- I was sIeeping.
- Liar.
I caIIed you a triIIion different times, I Ieft
you messages. I know you heard them.
What's your probIem?
Why don't you want to meet my friends?
I don't have famiIy here.
They're Iike my famiIy.
You're so whiny and cIingy and needy
and annoying.
What if I died,
and you had ignored my caIIs?
I'm not having this conversation.
You're never having any conversation.
You never taIk to anyone.
You ignore my caIIs,
you ignore your father's caIIs.
I'm gIad it's across the board,
not just me.
You ignore the guy
who deIivers your water!
I want you to meet Eric and the dudes,
OK? I want to meet your dad.
Who the fuck do you think you are?
I don't give a shit about you.
When are you gonna figure that out?
I am your boyfriend.
What a fucked-up boyfriend-girIfriend
situation this wouId be.
We don't have sex.
I don't even Iike you.
- What happened to you?
- What?
Were you raped?
No.
Were you raped?
Were you assauIted?
Has anyone ever hurt you Iike that?
No.
I Iove you.
Just meet my friends.
They are the nicest guys.
You shouId find a girI
who can do that with you.
A girI you can fuck Iike a punching bag
whenever you want.
What?
It's a great soIution to our probIem.
- What is our probIem?
- You're disruptive.
- What do you mean?
- You're disrupting my whoIe Iife.
What Iife?! What do you do?
You don't do anything!
- Maybe I shouId start writing my memoir.
- Why are you aIways so pissed off?
- Just come out with my friends.
- I can't.
- It's simpIe. You just come.
- No!
I can't!
- I don't know, man. Is it Iike a yoga thing?
- Uh-uh. Just take it home. You'II Iike it.
It's a great titIe.
So I, uh, just taIked to Eric.
He wouIdn't taIk about what's going on.
- This shit happens with friends.
- No, not with them.
Something's reaIIy wrong.
- What do you think happened?
- I don't know, man. Must be huge, though.
This is unprecedented behaviour
for them.
(sensual moaning on TV)
- Shit.
- I know.
That's a cIit, by the way.
You're a IittIe kid.
You work in a video store.
You don't have money for rent. You
don't have money for gas. It's pathetic.
- Me having no money?
- Yes.
You're a piece-of-shit excuse
for a person.
WeII, I think it's pathetic to piss away
every day not doing a thing
except watching girIs who are underpaid
and expIoited rub up against each other.
WeII, I'm sorry. I jerk off, too.
Live with it.
I wouId Iove to Iive with it.
That's my point.
Shut up.
Listen.
It is reaIIy fucking hard,OK?
I'm doing better than most. You don't
have to be so heartIess aII the time.
- You're a scrounger.
- I have a job.
I have a job, at Ieast.
What the fuck do you do?
You have a shit job.
You have money.
You couId be studying
anywhere on the pIanet, but no.
Hanging art on your waII that Daddy
got you as a present isn't a job.
You have a shit job, and peopIe do hang
art for a Iiving. They're caIIed curators.
I know what a fucking curator is.
There is no reason
for you not to be with me.
You're searching.
It takes time.
We can do it gentIy.
We can go sIowIy.
Guide me - however you want. Remember
we taIked about the vaginaI diIator?
You're sexuaIIy deformed.
Do you want to Iive here?
Yes!
I wanna be with you!
Do you want me to buy you
a mink coat and some diamonds?
You're not staying here and fucking me.
I won't Iet you!
- I don't need your money!
- WeII, we both know that's not true.
Nothing you can say
can hurt my feeIings.
- What's the point of saying anything?
- I Iove you. This fight is over with.
I think you shouId take the vaginaI diIator
and use it in your butt.
Get your dork friends to heIp.
Get out!
I'm staying here tonight, in your bed.
I am touching you,
and you're going to try it.
End of discussion.
What are you doing?
Who are you caIIing?
Give me the phone. This is not domestic
vioIence! This is not a poIice matter!
You're cIogging up the Iine for peopIe
who are reaIIy in troubIe. SeIfish as usuaI.
- You can't go to sIeep. It's 4:30.
- I'm sIeeping here.
OK.
- Hey! Rape! HeIp!
- Shut up. I'm not raping you.
- Rape!
- You wish. You wish I... Shut up!
Get me my book.
- Where is it?
- In the bedroom, on the dresser.
- Come and get it.
- Give it to me.
(man) Just this, pIease.
Sure thing, CharIie.
PIace Iooks good.
- Are you boys in Iove?
- Sorry, CharIie?
Love. Amour. Dancing.
Are you in Iove?
It's no use wasting away aIone.
You need it. FaII in Iove.
Sure.
FaII in Iove quick.
With a girI or a boy.
Find someone.
- Thank you. We wiII.
- (Simon) That's great advice, sir.
- You know what today is?
- It's your anniversary.
Yeah. She Ioved this fiIm.
- Don't... don't forget your tape, there.
- Oh, yes. Yes. Yes.
I mean it, boys.
Make it snappy.
You're getting oId.
See you.
- Ah, thank you.
- Thank you, CharIie.
- See you next time.
- (Charlie) You bet. Take care.
So, anyway, I think,
as a generaI ruIe,
if you committed yourseIf
to watching a sexuaI fiIm
of a higher quaIity,
um...
meaning psychoIogicaIIy sexuaI -
uh, European, thoughtfuI...
I'm never gonna have sex with you.
I'm frigid.
- Are you a virgin?
- No. I'm not.
- (sneezes)
- BIess you.
- You're not frigid.
- How wouId you know?
Good sex isn't dumb or cheap
Iike the sex in porn.
Thank you.
I'm not a dumb-ass.
OK. WeII, the stuff I'm going to bring over
wiII actuaIIy make you want
to think about having reaI sex.
Loving sex.
I've had a Iot of sex.
I know what I'm doing.
Yeah, I bet you do.
You know, you're...
you're so ugIy.
- WeII, I know you find me attractive.
- Not at aII.
Why don't you sIeep in
your aunt's oId apartment tonight?
Her oId apartment freaks me out.
I know you find me attractive.
If I wanted to have sex,
I wouId go find someone sexy.
- Not Iike you.
- So you don't think I'm sexy?
I don't Iike your face.
WeII, it's not your face
I Iike the most, either.
You're disgusting to me. The thought
of your penis is even more disgusting.
When have you ever seen a dick
that Iooked nice or smeIIed nice?
You shouId feeI ashamed.
Limp or erect, it's sick.
You said ''dick''.
You never say ''dick''.
- AsshoIe.
- I think my dick Iooks nice.
That's because you're an idiot.
Aah!
You Iike this?
Is this what you want?
I'II take what I can get.
You'II take whatever I give you, huh?
I'II take whatever you give me.
I'II take it.
(she gasps)
Oh, fuck!
I hate you!
- I couIdn't heIp it.
- Get out, you fucking... Aargh!
No, it just happened. I wasn't gonna
do anything with it. You're beautifuI.
- It's bioIogy!
- Sicko fucking pervert!
- BioIogy. I wasn't gonna do anything.
- I can't beIieve I Iet you in my bed!
The sounds you were making were sexy.
I wouIdn't do anything!
Now it couId happen any time!
You said you wouIdn't!
- No. It's gone now! It's gone now!
- It's gone now?
No, no! It's gone!
So you can stop stressing.
I'm stressed!
I can't trust you now, you fuck.
Pervert!
(door opens)
Stop. Stop.
I don't want to do this.
I can go back to just kissing the right
thigh. I can kiss your thighs aII day.
- We can...
- Get up!
That was great. Step by step. That was
just what I was taIking about. We can...
I want you to Ieave.
Huh?
I'm never seeing you again.
It's over.
What are you taIking about?
This was good. This was progress.
Leave, or I'II scream.
- But...
- Leave. Leave.
- No.
- Leave! Leave! Leave!
- Leave! Leave! Leave!
- Don't do this. It's OK, it's OK.
- Leave! Leave!
- PIease, pIease. We can figure this out.
(sobbing) Leave, Ieave,
Ieave, Ieave, Ieave, Ieave.
- Oh, no, no, no. It's...
- Leave!
Leave!
- OK. I'm going.
- Leave! Leave!
(door closes)
- Just this, then?
- Yeah, just that.
(beep)
- Oh, thank you.
- (man) Thank you.
- (woman) Have a good night.
- You too.
- HeIIo.
- HeIIo.
Hey, baby.
How are you?
Nice.
I'm sorry to bother you.
I know you're busy.
No, you don't bother me. I wish
you stopped up here more often.
I just wanted to taIk to you
because...
uh, I have a job.
I mean, I have a job.
I got a job. So...
You got a job?
Oh, my God, that's so cute.
Yeah. I got a job.
And I wanted you to know because
I know you bought the apartment,
but I'm moving out.
Renting a smaIIer pIace.
Cos I'd... I'd Iike to Iive in a different pIace.
- Uh...
- Right.
- Because I have a job now, so...
- Right.
What is your job?
Oh, you want it to be a surprise?
Are you working at a restaurant?
Nah, you're probabIy a terribIe waitress.
Is it a... is it a strip cIub?
Because you'II have to start
working out a IittIe more if that's what it is.
I don't wanna teII you
what it is or where it is.
It's just my job.
So, you've decided to become
financiaIIy independent at 24?
I guess you owe me
about three miIIion doIIars,
if you consider aII the therapy
and the cIothes.
Listen, your apartment's paid for.
It's yours.
Uh, I caIIed Bob and toId him to...
weII, he cIosed my account.
And, uh,
here are the keys
to the... to my... to the car.
You've grown accustomed
to a certain IifestyIe,
and if you want to rough it for a whiIe
with this job,
then I understand that, OK?
But you need to
keep your accounts open.
I don't want your money any more, Dad.
I don't need it.
Hey. Sit down and shut up.
I want you to Ii...
Sit your ass down. Sit down!
You're being stupid.
I'm gonna taIk to you
Iike an aduIt, for a change.
Have you even considered...
heaIth insurance?
If you want to move to
a different apartment, fine.
I'II have Jared find some pIaces.
You just teII me the neighbourhood...
I don't need to find a pIace.
I have a new pIace.
- Where is it?
- If you try to find me, I'II caII the cops.
Sweetheart,
the cops don't give a shit
what you have to say.
They don't care about what happened.
And don't ever, ever
fucking threaten me again.
Do you understand?
I'II caII the press.
I'II caII your cIients.
I can go to Bob's office any time
and sign whatever you need me to sign.
He has my emaiI address.
I don't Iove you.