Now we just have to deal
with the cold and the wind
for the party tonight
at Times Square
High wind warning in
effect till midnight
acting with temperatures below zero.
Senior Correspondent
Stan Brooks says folks
are already camped
out on in Times Square.
It's going to be freezing.
It's going to be jam-packed...
'Out of the Blue' by
Ray Guntrip & Tina May
So I was with her for a long time...
I think she's kissing someone now.
Dude! Shut. Up.
What the...
Yeah?
So, you are not a hooker...
You are not a chick I could
pick up at the bar obviously
because you had
eight sets of guys hit on
you all night and you
still just sat there.
You might have been
five drinks but you spoke
in perfectly beautiful sentences.
You probably did get bored in
your room and came down for a drink.
What does that tell me?
I don't know. But...
My name is Turiya and
guess what? Happy New...
Oh, f off.
Thanks dudes.
Will you look at this guy?
That is sweet.
You know what you
could have just stayed home
if you were going to pass out.
You know what I mean?
Think she's calling now...
Aah, I'm not usually this
creepy but I had a little
bit to drink and then JC introduced
me to the prettiest girl I've seen...
...this year!
I'm flattered. Ummm...
Which one of the eight
sets of guys are you?
I guess the 1.45 bunch
Oh yeah. The two
guys and the dope-head.
Uh... Which one of the two are you?
Oh, I'm the cute one. My
friend's always grumpy.
Kiss my a.
See what I mean.
Hmmm...
How did you get my number?
I'm glad that you called.
Why did you call? I'm glad...
Insomnia. Jet lag.
Quarter-life crisis.
Ah! So you are in need of my
entertainment services then.
Well, considering you
woke me up in the middle
of the night just as I had
fallen asleep, I guess that does
make you responsible
to entertain me...
...Or put me back to sleep.
Oh, you are in luck then
because when I entertain people
they fall right back asleep.
Which is good enough.
So what can I do?
I can play some music. Do you
want to listen or something.
You know I have an
IPOD here and a TV set.
What I really want to hear about is
that bit where you said you saw the
prettiest girl that
you ever seen and I am
going to forget you said this year.
Ah yeah. She was gorgeous,
she had the most
beautiful eyes and she was hot.
What do you mean hot?
Hot... you know, hot.
No, I don't know.
Actually she was just okay...
I mean she was like average...
I am just kidding.
She looked really
beautiful and I am sure if she
just took a little better
care of herself it would be
impossible for anybody to
take their eyes off of her.
What do you mean I
don't take care of myself?
No... I mean...
It's New Year's Eve and there
you were sitting alone swigging
shots of Tequila wearing
an overcoat that screamed
"Leave me alone, I'm boring".
It was written all over you that you
did not want to look pretty tonight.
And what would I wear if
I wanted to look pretty?
What would you wear if
you wanted to look pretty?
Speaker dude, put it on speaker.
What do you have?
Oh! Okay... Let me look.
Ok
I have a dull gold mid-length
sequined dress, a Moroccan tunic,
beige corset, a couple of tees,
jeans and you know G strings.
I am sorry... What?
What?
- What?
Yeah... what is a sequin?
Never mind.
You know what, why
don't you wear a corset?
I think that is body
hugging top sort of thing.
Really?
- Yeah
How long have you seen me?
All of a minute?
Uh... Yeah but you
had my full attention.
Well, I like that.
So how often do you
drunk-dial random strange women?
How often do you call
back random weirdos?
First time.
Ah virgin random weirdo-caller backer.
You haven't answered.
Oh, I am a virgin drunk-dialer.
Well, Mr. Virgin drunk-dialer,
where are you?
Uh... I'm at the l-can't-wait-to
- break-the-ice-with-you stage.
Go on.
So what's your name? You
haven't told me that yet.
Oh, you can call me
anything you like.
I'm yours for the night honey.
In that case, I'm not
telling you my name either.
Turiya. And your
friend's name is HUSSAIN
And the other one said
his name doesn't matter.
That's JC. But wait a second,
I thought you didn't
remember which set of guys we were
Okay, so you were the only set
of guys to hit on me tonight.
Oh! Just one of those nights huh?
No, I mean seriously what is a girl
like you doing alone
on New Year's Eve?
That's lame...
Or it's OK, I guess.
Travelling.
Who travels on New Year's Eve?
Someone who doesn't like New Year's.
Travel to forget about it, huh?
Well, I have to get back in
Mumbai by the 2nd and actually
my connecting flight got late so I
have a stop over for eight hours.
AH! So this is kind of
like a one-night stand, huh?
I thought guys liked
one-night stands.
Not over the phone.
Okay, curious... what would you have
done if I had joined you at the bar?
Spiked your drink.
Just kidding. Just kidding.
Just kidding,
I would have asked you your
name of course. I'm not crazy.
Ok. Let's say my name's Nona.
Nona... What kind of a name is Nona?
Stripper name
What kind of name is TURIYA?
Is that even real?
Yeah, It's the absolute truth.
In what language?
I don't know. You have to
ask Mr. Omprakash about that.
Think I should sue?
He was the one who...
Omprakash?
- That's my Dad.
Daddy
- Daddy
It means the fourth
state of consciousness.
Yeah. The other three are
sitting in the car with me.
Thank God the sober one is driving.
Driving to where?
Philly
What's going on there?
My life. I am a male escort.
Experienced women dig me.
They get laid. I get paid.
And I'm a stripper from
Vegas and a noted porn star.
In that case you get my entertainment
services for free from now on.
Tempting but I'll pass.
I'm not really a stripper
incase you didn't get that.
I just landed a corporate job
that is going to pay me
obscene amounts of money.
That's too bad. I was
looking forward to coming to Vegas
and being your pole.
Just a pole?
God, I thought you would want
to be more actively involved.
Well, why don't you suggest
something else for me to wear?
Lingerie... G-string
For that, I have to look in
your lingerie compartment...
Hmmm... You wish. Hang on...
Ok
She's naked.
What are you doing?
Just changing my top. It's too tight.
Okay, you shouldn't
have told me that.
Why not?
Because when you tell a guy
that you are changing your
top a guy pictures
you changing your top.
We see everything.
So did you like what you saw?
Mmmm... Tasty.
Thanks, JC
Dude!
So is this a telephonic orgy?
Look, I changed it back from...
It's alright. I went
to high school too.
So did you like what you saw?
To tell you the truth,
I didn't see much.
What do you mean you
did not see much?
I had my eyes closed.
Isn't that exactly how you
guys picture naked women?
Ok... This is the first time I
am doing something like this
Oh you poor boy.
That's ok.
I have got enough
experience for the both of us.
Yeah, I don't really
want to have an orgy,
a threesome... I mean phone sex
What? I can't hear you.
You want to have sex with all
three of us now, you sick b!
Dude, I got a dead body
back here. My hands are full.
I wasn't implying phone
sex Mr. Virgin drunk dialer
or is it Mr.
"L-have-never-done-this-before".
Aah yeah, well! Boy!
Looks like it is going to snow.
Oh my God! You are a...
Virgins do exist?
You know if you worked
for my escort company
I would've had your a
fired a long time ago.
I have a bad feeling
about the weather you know...
I bet you do virgin boy.
How old are you?
Tell me your name.
Don't change the subject.
Ok. I'm gay. I'm gay. I'm gay!
So gay.
Alright. Too much
information for a one-night stand.
You got to pull over. I
got the munchies real bad.
I could eat a horse. An ostrich.
A piece of A.
We're hungry. We
should've eaten at the bar.
All of us. Are you hungry too?
Yeah. Me too.
Let me see what's in the fridge.
Get something for me too please.
Slim pickings.
Oh, there is a long banana here.
I bet you would like that!
No, I am more of a
melons guy. I like melons.
Ouch!! That's below the belt.
What are you talking about?
Wait a second.
No, I wasn't trying to say...
We know what you really meant!
It's ok. I don't have melons.
No, I wouldn't know anything that.
About what?
- About you know...
you know...
- Boobs?
Well... I wouldn't know... No.
I don't know they...
Oh you poor boy.
Would you like a preview?
Look, that's not what I meant.
I wasn't talking about...
Right! You said I was hot.
You said I should wear a corset.
What does that mean?
That means you checked me out.
No, no... I was just saying it
just like that. You know, just words.
So, then I am not hot?
No...
So then, tell me.
Tell you what?
Do you think I am hot?
Yeah.
So, what did you
mean you prefer Melons?
I just was saying it
because I liked...
You could've said
mangoes or apples or oranges
I mean why did you say Melons.
Who thinks of Melons?
I do. I like Melons.
I have always liked Melons
since the time I was a kid.
I liked watermelon,
winter melon, muskmelon.
I like jackfruit. I like honeydew,
cantaloupe. I like them all.
I mean... It was nothing to do
with you or your physicality.
I wasn't even talking
about your physicality.
So my physicality has
nothing to do with Melons?
What is the right answer
to this? I don't even know.
How do I answer this?
The truth. The absolute truth.
I like Melons and I
think I need another look.
So you admit there was a first look?
Oh boy you should have been a lawyer.
You would have been a great lawyer.
Thank you. But answer me.
You admit you looked.
Yeah, I looked.
And...
And they are nice.
They are perfect.
They are beautifully
round and gorgeous globes.
On a scale of 1 to 10?
Eight.
Eight. Why eight?
Well because I like the number eight.
There is two round
things that is together...
I like that.
Ok rapid-fire question time.
What's on your mind?
Actually you first.
What is on your mind?
I'm thinking they are fine too.
And I'm thinking I would love
to have some Waffles
with White chocolate and
maple syrup fresh from the oven.
Or mint and chocolate huh?
I love that. Do you?
Mint and Chocolate. I
love that. After eight.
No anytime of the day.
My friends got me for my birthday.
Bailey's Mint & Chocolate.
Sex in a glass.
Sex in a glass.
And how would you know?
Oh! Who is hitting
below the belt now?
No but seriously, I love liqueur.
I'm not saying that just in a
please be my friend kind of way.
But I can just picture myself sinking
into a tub full of Creme De Menth.
Now I can picture you
doing that too. Remember?
So how old are you?
You didn't tell me.
You didn't tell me your name.
Do you remember that
movie where two strangers
spend the entire night in the
streets of Vienna and just talk?
Before Sunrise! It's my
favourite movie. I love that movie.
Hey maybe we're doing this
coz we saw them do that right?
Okay, that's lame.
No wait. Just hear me out.
Everything we see in the movies,
read in books, things established
as facts by society and the news,
all become a part of our existence
so that somewhere down the line
we forget where we
even heard it or saw it.
So the entire length of
the movie Before Sunrise,
I have been in Ethan Hawke's shoes.
I have lived his life.
I have become that.
Oh God! Somebody
thinks he's Ethan Hawke.
No, no. Wait, wait... You
have seen When Harry Met Sally.
You must have
thought you were Meg Ryan
when you watched the movie.
I got it the first time.
You are not Billy
Crystal short either are you?
Elizabethtown - Cameron Crowe.
It's like he knows me.
Oh is he on the other line?
Is that him on call waiting?
No Cameron Crowe is
the director who made...
Yeah, I know I know. Jerry Maguire.
It's a cute rom com (romantic comedy).
Aargh! Jerry MaFing
Guire is not a rom com.
It is the celebration of
being the man who you want to be.
Which happens to be being
the man we want him to be.
Hence, it's a rom com.
Oh God! So wait,
according to you, The
Godfather is some family
soap drama and the
Matrix is what some fashion
show of black trench coat with
technology thrown in
or something like that.
Just when I thought we were
starting to have something in common.
Anyone who likes the
Matrix is suffering from
a serious case of the
Emperor's New Clothes.
Oh, Anyone who doesn't like
the Matrix is suffering from Oh,
Poor Me, I got left out of the cult,
so let me bitch about it.
I dare you. Explain The Matrix to
me in four lines. No more. No less.
Explain the Matrix in four lines.
It's not that simple.
Trinity, we need to find a hard line.
Look in your pants Mr. Anderson
Thanks Morpheus and Agent
Smith or JC and Hussain.
See Matrix has that
effect on us. Think about it,
we grew up in the nineties name a film
that went to be the Star Wars or The
Godfather of the nineties.
You can't name one.
The Matrix is the single most
definitive film of our time.
Amore. I think Friends is the most
single most
definitive show of our times.
Well Friends... That
whole sitcom, it was on TV.
I am talking about film.
The Matrix is deep and
loaded like Star Wars.
Stories are meant to be simple.
No matter what kind of bells
and whistles they come with.
Harry and Sally. They meet.
They become friends.
Over time, they fall in love.
Now explain The Matrix to me.
The Matrix is not just
a sci-fi action film.
It's about how everyone has a
chance to search and find the truth
and that's what Neo does. He
has a chance to find the truth,
he takes the pill and
finds out that's the truth
is a dream fabricated by
someone else... Hello...
Blah Blah Blah... I
said simplify in English.
Oracle. Clones. Conflict. Bullshit.
Lets just agree to disagree.
You know even love
stories are about conflict.
The conflict being?
Well some loves flourish because
of the conflict not in spite of it.
Through all the disagreement and
going through all the hardships
together some loves
become great love stories.
Love stories also end
because of conflict.
Hmm... That's true but it might not
have happened if not for the conflict.
Are you in the mood for a story?
Considering I am talking to a stranger
about absolutely nothing sure,
why not? Just throw in
some sex and I'm good.
Ok, here we go... There was a boy...
Why is the geek always a guy?
Ok. You're interrupting.
Come on, that's a silly stereotype
Ok, fine...
See, it's not working.
Yeah, ok
So what kind of music do you like?
Techno
- That is so nineties
I used to like techno but
now I like the other stuff.
Like pop?
Yeah, yeah like pop
That is so gay.
I know.
I'm sorry but what
kind of music do you like?
Rock... the new rock.
Like Coldplay?
Yeah, like that.
I love them. Hey do
you listen to Floyd?
You know I was going to
ask you the same question.
I do actually.
Ah, so you are into
boy bands too then.
Pink Floyd is not a boy band.
But it is "PINK" isn't it...
Not funny. So what's
your favourite number?
It's like you know
me so well. Really.
Yeah well I know. So when do
we take it to the next level?
You can come over tomorrow if you
want, Mom's not going to be home.
Yeah, I would love to come home
tomorrow. That would be great.
But what time
because I am free all day.
It's not like I don't have
a job or anything coz I do.
I am very employable but I
am free tomorrow all day.
Ok
For now.
Guys often pretend to be who they
are not and girls always want to
be wicked and crazy because
that's their idea of romance.
We just like to challenge
the natural order of things.
You know gives us a
sense of accomplishment.
Plus everybody wants a
taste of the forbidden fruit.
Apples.
Or in your case Melons.
Hey, do you believe in God,
faith, destiny.
Do you think God
knows why things happen.
I don't think God knows.
I mean what if God is
reinventing as he goes on?
I think God has a plan for us.
He probably doesn't want us to know
but he wants to roll it
out to us in good time.
I roll it out in good time.
I mean think about it religion
was invented what about 2000
years ago but the full
truth is about 13.7 billion...
There is no full truth.
Everything would disappear if
an asteroid hit us tomorrow.
Exactly, Dinosaurs... Gone.
You know when I was a little
girl I thought asteroid was a gland.
Because it rhymes with Thyroid?
I was so confused
Back to religion. Actually
have you studied accounting?
No.
Okay, in accounting, there's
something known as Suspense Account.
When you can't
explain where the money's
gone and you are
unable to balance the sheet,
you create a suspense account
temporarily and put all your money
into that... so that once you
investigate and find where the money
is gone you can transfer the money
from the suspense account to the
actual account.
Now as science starts
explaining various phenomenon
you immediatelytransfer credit from
the God account to the Science account.
So Let there be light
becomes the Big Bang Theory...
I love that TV show. Oh my
god it's about these geeks
who live next door to
a blonde waitress
who works in a cheesecake factory.
Yeah. You know men are
the smart ones.
Well yes, of course. You know we women
we prefer to stay home and watch
life happen in a little pictures
while you big boys you are
concerned about the
big picture out there.
Exactly. Us big boys.
Kidding, you jerk.
Ever heard of radium?
Madame Curie. Helen Keller.
Mother Teresa.
Ever heard of Britney Spears.
Paris Hilton. Sex tapes
Justin Timberlake.
George Bush. Bill Clinton.
No why are you talking
about our differences.
We are all the same race.
We are all born with
the same raw materials...
a little sperm, eggs a
little sex and weeks later,
there's this seven pound form of
life that is ejected from a vagina.
Vagina
How different are we really?
I object. We could
want different things.
We could want different
things from the same relationship
Like for example what if
your geek boy wasn't geeky and
what if the girl really liked him
and what if they had a great honeymoon
period getting to know each other
but then things don't turn out so rosy
Do you want to hear a story?
Straight from Bollywood.
Bollywood!
I love you.
I love you.
Shit. I never thought I
would say this to someone.
But I... I really love you.
Shit... I hope I get
myself to say this to her.
I wanted to say this to her
so often but couldn't get the
courage and whenever I meet her
I decide to, but... somehow...
Tell who?
Tina... who else? Let's do this again,
I will be Rahul, you be Tina.
Look up.
I love you
I love you too.
She will say the same
thing won't she?
Yes
Come here.
Shall I tell her?
Shall I go right now?
Do you really believe this
shit you are selling me?
I mean what did you think?
You had no idea that I
liked you all this time
and you are just
leading me on for this?
I mean who do you think I am?
Some kind of doormat that
you can just wipe your feet
over every time you come and go.
Some sorry story who is
going wait around for you
and cry and come to your
wedding and wish you all the best.
Well you know what, FFFUUC BEEP
People are different. Some times,
they just want different things.
No I'm talking about
the bigger picture.
You know life is much more than
one or two failed relationships.
We all want the same things...
We all want
happiness, love, family,
friends... I'm sure you want love.
I'm sure you just want to
get into her pants dude.
I heard that! No thank you.
I'm done with romance.
Besides I don't think we have
to take love out of one person
to give it to another.
Love is a bottomless glass.
Oooh, so you are a sensualist.
You like believe in free sex.
That's why you
didn't want to pay for it.
I wasn't talking about sex.
All I am saying is
that we need people.
So why not just make great
friends all over the world?
Why do you need romance?
Well I don't know. Life is short.
We are all insecure. Love
makes us feel secure, committed.
I used to be you.
You know when you call in a
friend they are always there.
It doesn't matter if
it has been eight years,
it doesn't matter
if it has been 20 years.
They welcome you with open arms.
Yeah, they may welcome you they
may want to have coffee with you,
they may invite you in
for dinner they may
even have you in for 2 weeks...
...in their house but at
the end of the day
everyone goes their
separate ways.
But seriously, you don't believe
that there's a love of your life?
No. I mean I used to.
I used to think that
the love of my life is
a guy who made me nervous.
Then I found out that
Prince Charming
only belongs in fairy tales.
Some time after that I thought
the love of my life was
a guy who made me happy.
Tall, Dark, Handsome,
great sense of humour.
Then I found out he belongs in
Mills and Boons and your rom coms.
Some years after that I
thought it was just
about finding Mr. Compatible...
Mr. Right for me.
Then I found out people change...
and sometimes in a drastically
pull the rug right out
from under you kind of way.
So change being the
only constant I know...
...now there is no such
thing as a perfect match.
The only person who is
the love of my life is Me!
Wow! I think I'm more of a giver.
I want to give everything
to the love of my life.
I want to give unconditionally.
You are like a doormat, right?
The shoulder to cry on...
I'm sorry.
I have no right judging you.
It's okay. I mean guess I
have thought about that too.
Is giving all yourself to
someone being a doormat?
Love is a form of faith,
it's like a religion.
You give unconditionally
to someone.
You make a commitment and then
you hope that it pays dividends.
What did that work for you?
Yes. It took it eight years
but she finally said Yes...
It lasted one year.
It was best thing to
happen to me ever.
And then?
And then she came up
to me and she is like
You obviously love me more
than I love you... Long story,
we will talk about it later.
But anyway I mean seriously I
had enough love for both of us...
No... That doesn't work
like that. It has to be equal.
How would you like it if
she did that to you...
I would've loved it. It
would have been perfect.
No, no, no... You have to
actually image switching places.
If you were her and she was
would that would that feel right.
I don't think so.
I mean in any relationship
even a beautiful friendship...
...people have to have to
you know give equal effort.
Effort! Love should be easy. It's
not about effort. Work is effort.
Maybe it started
becoming work for her.
I don't know I just think
if things have to work out...
both people have to have
equal intentions for each other.
They have to meet halfway.
Halfway. Actually I think we are
halfway from you. 50 miles right.
50 miles.
So in that case if you and I
had a long distance thing...
you would be the kind of guy
who would travel 50 miles...
to see me and if I were the love
of your life I would be like
Oh My God, why is he doing that.
Please don't do that. I can't
get myself to do that. Right?
Are you talking about
yourself or are you putting
yourself in her shoes?
Well, I'm speaking
for her obviously.
Well, What about you?
If we lived 100 miles
away from each other,
would you meet me halfway?
I would come 50 miles but
you know that's just me.
Or we could meet each other
100 miles every other week.
Long distance success stories
are a work of fiction my boy.
Oh! Pessimist.
Pessimist! You are the pessimist,
I'm the optimist.
I mean there's so much love in the
world why would you hold back...
for somebody who is away.
No, no people come and go
and you know we are all meant...
...to be companions for a
little while or a longer while.
It could work if you
wanted it to.
I am sorry my boy but long
distance relationships don't work.
I don't know what you're thinking,
I dont know if you think
I'm serious coz I am not.
I mean its not like I am trying
to pick you up or something?
Not trying to make you fall in
love with me over the phone...
Long distance success...
- You are not?
No no... I don't
even know your name.
Does it look like I want to?
Does it look like
I am interested?
You are not?
No. I mean you brought
up this whole hypothetical
long distance
relationship sort of thing...
Yes, yes... I mean it was.
It was completely hypothetical.
I was just trying to explain...
how long distance relationships
require equal effort...
to sustain a healthy
relationship.
I mean I don't even believe
in relationships
forget long distance.
That was really what
I was trying to say
which has nothing to do with you.
Yeah. It's no wonder that
you wouldn't meet me halfway,
where I am is like middle
of nowhere Timbaktuland.
We are at a lookout point
in a town called New Hope.
I guess George Lucas
must be the Mayor.
Because Star Wars.
Episode 4. A New Hope.
Stop.
Okay, what you just
basically said was that
I'm not interesting enough...
...for you to want to
know my real name. Right?
No, that's not what I said,
I mean obviously I have
a lot of baggage...
...that I cant put down
and you are probably
just thinking about getting...
...a good night sleep and make that
flight in the morning. Right?
Hang on would you.
I mean I didn't even say...
I was interested and you are
like rejecting already me.
What are you talking about?!
I am not rejecting you. Who
would reject somebody as hot...
...and as intelligent as you are?
Seriously.
You know what I need to go to bed.
Oh, is it something I said?
No! I don't even know
you enough to take offense
to anything you say.
I'd really don't care.
Wait! Hold on a second...
What's the point?
Give me one good reason
...and make it quick, I
need to catch some sleep.
No, I just think it is
rather awkward for us to after...
...this to long conversation
to hang up so abruptly...
I want to get to know you.
I'm boring and I am tired
and I have a lot of luggage.
So I need to get to
the airport early.
Okay, what about Facebook?
No but I don't know your name
and I don't know your email.
How am I going to find you?
Good question. I guess you have a
lifetime ahead of you to find out.
True happiness lies in
pursuit of truth anyways right?
Must be something I said.
Keep guessing. Good bye.
No don't say Good bye. Hello...
Good bye.
Hello... Bad connection.
Leak-time.
Me too. Let's go feed those fish.
Yes, I finally have signal.
Yo T, take a time out man.
I got to listen to some music.
Rest your battery, yes?
Yeah, I probably should
save my battery,
but maybe I can borrow
JC's phone.
You can borrow my underwear, man.
Guess what?
What Nona...
Okay, first of all,
my name isn't Nona.
Well, you are Nona to me.
Well, that wasn't
the real me. I'm MOIRA.
So how's MOIRA any
different than Nona?
Well, for one thing she's
not wearing any clothes.
So how do I get to
know this MOIRA?
You wouldn't like to know MOIRA.
She would've never have done
anything as crazy as this.
She's a cynical bitch.
Oh come on, she
sounds interesting.
I mean no clothes and all.
Why don't you
introduce me to her? Please.
And what would the intro be?
Meet TURIYA, virgin escort?
Actually, I am an insurance agent,
but don't tell other girls that.
Every time I tell that to
somebody, it's over. Game over.
They would walk away.
- You're kidding?
No, I am serious.
I am an insurance agent.
I make a living telling people
What would happen to
them if they died tonight?
So when you saw me at the bar,
you weren't thinking hot chick,
you were thinking
Ah, potential client.
She looks like the kind of
girl that would go into the
next room and slit her wrists.
No, I wasn't thinking that.
But maybe I saved your life.
You owe me one.
I wasn't going to kill myself.
Are you crazy?
I love myself too much.
So are you really going
to India or was
that something you just said?
Well, I don't really
know anybody in this town
and you when you called
honestly I was so bored and
I just thought nobody
knows me here
so I could be
anybody and I became Nona.
Did you like being NONA?
Yeah, you know because Nona has
no past and she has no future.
Her validity expires at 8.30 in
the morning when
she boards the flight.
She travels light.
You could be Nona every
single day of your life.
It's not that simple.
We have our responsibilities,
you know you see
insurance all day
but tonight you are the
world's only virgin escort
who specializes in entertainment
services over the phone.
Okay, lets play a game.
Twenty questions.
Okay. But wait, what is this for?
You are still not
over your ex right?
Just say Yes, No, Maybe,
I don't Know.
Yes, No. Maybe. I don't know.
Just answer one.
Ok. But let's make
this more interesting.
Whatever you ask me you
have to answer first yourself.
Fair enough. I am
not over my past. You?
Completely over it.
Really?
Hmm.
How can you be sure, so sure
that you are over something?
Okay. Let me tell you a story.
Fictitious, of course.
Hope it has lots of sex
All right, I am not
going to tell you the story
Why? Is it something bad or dark?
Yeah... too dark.
Well... dark sex. I like that.
Okay, I'm definitely never
going to telling you the story.
Come on, please tell me.
You can't stop now.
Okay, boy meets girl.
Boy is a rich and
pin-up politician.
- Oooh! Pin-up! -
Boy and girl have sex.
Lots of sex.
- Ah aah. Good good.
More sex than you can handle.
I don't think so but...
Listen! Would you?
- Ok.
She survived to live
another life.
The girl I was talking
about was the love of my life.
He wasn't.
I thought he was but
I know he wasn't.
I mean how do you know?
How can you know?
It's funny you know. We
live like 70 or 80 years and
we meet somebody in our
twenties and we decide that
they are the love of our lives.
And that we would
never love like that again.
At least not with that much
passion, not that much depth.
That's true though isn't it?
I guess,
...in the sense that you
don't love your Mom
the way you love your Dad...
or you don't love your flings
the way you love your soul-mates.
Each is different.
But I don't think you
can attribute the accolade
the "love of my life"
so quickly not when you have life
2/3rds of your life left to live.
I think the love of your life...
. is going to be the
woman you are sitting with...
...on your veranda with
a cup of coffee in
the sunset of your life...
and you tell her how you
almost mistook someone else
to be who she is
The love of your life.
I invested eight years of my
life in that relationship.
Are you telling me my
faith in love was misplaced?
This isn't one your
insurance policies that...
...matures after a few years
and pays you your dividends.
Cheap shot. You still
haven't told me what you do.
Legal consultant.
- Aah! I knew it.
I was just kidding.
I just completed my
thesis in Chicago...
...waiting to get my
Ph. D (doctorate)...
...and I am headed to
Mumbai for a new project.
Wow! Dr. Moira!
- No, not yet.
Not at least until
the panel makes sense...
...of my dissertation
on New Media
...and it's impact in
shaping personalities...
...and influencing
human relationships.
Okay that went over
my head obviously
I am not a Ph. D (doctorate).
Well it's just about how
New Media Technology...
...basically has made our
lives about instant fixes.
Control C, Control V,
Control x, Control Alt Delete.
We pretty much live our
lives on those principles.
System failure? Reboot.
And also New media technologies
has made it possible for us...
...to transcend beyond geographical
and physical boundaries,
...beyond zeroes and ones
and make personal connects...
...across nations,
across cultures,
...across even religions
and cultures.
Yes, sort of like
this phone call...
...we are talking across so
many miles of open space.
Yes. Sort of...
Now just imagine if I
was a robot designed...
...to respond to your
most deepest interests...
based completely on a
comprehensive behavioral study
of your personal
preferences and choices...
I would ask you first
what did I do wrong?
What's wrong?
Well. You didn't.
You just haven't found
the love of your life.
Relationships take
time to be defined.
Sometimes, even a
lifetime isn't enough...
Enough about me.
You still haven't told me
since you love yourself so much...
...what were you doing
alone on New Year's Eve?
Being with myself.
I mean its not liking I
am living in the past.
I am only remembering
only the good stuff.
I mean the bad stuff is
done with. It's buried.
Think of it this way. If you
really did everything you could...
...then you know absolutely
that it's not your fault.
It's not that easy. I
haven't been able to delete...
...her messages from my inbox.
How long has it been?
Since what?
Since you guys broke up.
Three years.
Hang on. Are you serious?
Dude, she could have
had a baby by now!
Don't say that.
God! Look at me I have so
much baggage. I have baggage.
You have to let it go.
I don't want to.
Okay, here's something
from my thesis.
The SMS inbox
reflects your mind-space...
It has every bit of
memory you want to hold on to.
The reason you have not
able to start afresh is
because you haven't
deleted messages...
You have to empty your inbox...
...in order to make
space for new memories
No. It's a part of me.
I need to keep it.
I can't just let it go.
Well, keep the good stuff.
All I am saying is let it rest.
Give it its funeral.
Forgive unconditionally.
Get over the mourning period and
just come alive and stay alive...
...instead of digging up decomposed
remains that haunt your life.
I don't want to run away.
I can't escape reality.
And the reality is
I still love her.
She was the love of my life.
Do you realize you
always keep saying
she "Was" the love of your life.
That's the point now isn't it?
The scars would remain but you
need to learn to live with them.
They are like the
sign of a warrior.
They heal over time but they
become a part of you and one day...
...someone notices and asks you
and it all comes back to you...
...the motion picture of
your life in surround sound...
The love story you
were once a part of...
...you smile because you
remember the good times...
...and you feel a little
bad that it had to end...
...and then you put the
DVD back on the shelf.
You put it back on the
shelf and you let it go.
You're crazy.
Si Amigo
So New Year's Eve is
one of your scars huh?
Well, it was until now.
From hereon, I am going to
remember New Years Eve as this...
...night that I had
this wild conversation...
...with a random strange boy.
Seriously, aren't you
going to remember tonight
as this night when
you got a little high
and called a girl in
the middle of it
to talk about boobs and
existence in one breath.
I mean what would
existence do without boobs?
There we go again...
so then, how come
you didn't get any?
Love me.
I do.
Show me.
Okay. Not like this.
You're drunk.
God! What's wrong with this boy?
Do you think you
will ever love me?
I do.
No. That's not going to work.
How am I supposed to
love you if you don't do me?
Did she really say do me?
Let me rephrase that.
How am I supposed to
know where we are going...
...if you don't make love to me?
How am I supposed to make love
to you if you don't love me?
Ok. I'm convinced you are gay.
Oh Absolutely,
I'm with three guys on New
Year's Eve and I am feeling happy
and by the way that story
was completely fictitious.
Sex complicates relationships.
Well, after everything
you turned out okay.
Well, he wasn't the first guy
I slept with. That's different.
The first guy I slept with was
when I was nineteen years old...
...and that was a horrible breakup.
We were together for 5 years...
. and that's when I realized that...
...the most important
part of a relationship...
...is not how it
starts but how it ends.
How many boyfriends
have you had?
Okay, I know I sound
like a slut...
...but I've really only
had like two...
...serious relationships.
My first one was really cute.
It was in high school and
we were just holding hands...
...and pecking each other on
the cheek, really really cute.
I've just had one. I guess
my life is simpler than yours.
Hmm. And you have a full inbox.
Okay. I will do it
in my time okay.
Hey don't do it for
anybody else but yourself.
It's really just a matter of
time before you realise that...
...Iove is something that
human beings just
concocted to find security.
No. Love's not just about
providing security alone...
You know we talk about love
like it's the most natural thing
and the puritans would
jump up with the argument that
child loves its mother
before it even knows her
but that's not true
coz a child wouldn't have
love gushing out of its veins
if it saw its mother
on the streets one day
if it never knew her.
I mean love is always a choice...
...and love by another definition
is at best hypocritical.
I mean think about all the
cities that have been destroyed...
...all the lives that are ruined...
...all the shrinks that are paid...
...for something as
un-definable as this feeling...
...which is relative at best...
...and yet when you are in love
its supposed to be incomparable...
which throws out the
test of relativity too.
I mean I used to believe
in love and Santa Claus,
but you know you grow up.
Yes. No the great thing
about love is that it's...
...about the road trip it's
not about where you're headed.
It's as wonderful as a birthday...
...but you get to experience it
every single day of your life.
Its that warm feeling
in your heart...
...the knowledge that you
have something that can make...
...the worst possible day
turn into something awesome...
And what's Christmas
without Santa?
You know you should start
writing for Mills & Boons...
. give up your insurance
selling job.
Go ahead, sell it
to 16 year olds...
...con the world of the
product that doesn't exist.
Yeah, I know I sound like a
loser holding on to some girl...
...who didn't even want me
and probably didn't care...
...anything about
what I had for her.
Can I be completely
honest with you?
Yes
You know I think
it was sweet of her...
...to even try to
respect your feelings.
Most of us we just...
we just settle for love
wherever we get it...
. if we don't get it
from where we want...
like water you know when
you are thirsty or
a burger when you're hungry.
Do you really believe all
the things that you say?
Yeah. 200 per cent.
I mean you could convince
yourself of anything in a second.
You could decide that
you are going to be
a great actor or a singer.
Sign up for classes and
actually believe you are.
Exactly, and you can
just believe...
...you are going to
start falling in love.
And by the way,
I'm a great singer.
Oh boy! Is that a threat?
Okay. Let's see. Who do you like?
I can sing anything.
For the moment, Elvis.
Okay, I am now tuning
into my Elvis channel
Going way back to 1958...
Oh wait, wait...
I want Britney Spears
Hit me baby one more time...
- Pussycat dolls. Wait, wait
Shakira Shakira.
Actually, I found the
perfect song for the occasion.
Guys!
Oh my god... That was awful,?
But your energy saw you through.
Thank you! And you were also Ok.
You know I'm so glad I don't have
that endure that again in my life.
I don't think I could take it.
What are you talking about?
You are just scared...
...of my charm and sex appeal.
Did you say sex appeal?
- Yeah.
All right, that is the funniest
thing you have said all night.
You know I've been saving
myself for someone special.
I don't think you even know how.
I do. I've been
practicing on walls
and trees since I was 13... Okay,
no, no. Kidding,
kidding, kidding.
I don't know if you
are kidding but...
...the surface of walls and trees
is very different from women.
I mean I could tell you more
at the risk of endangering...
...your retail store mannequins.
Well, please enlighten me.
Okay,
The world out there
it's round not flat
and there is dangerous
curves ahead.
Mmmmm! Yummy!
Down boy!
I'm sorry, go on.
Ok, so then imagine
this was our first date.
How intimate would you get?
We stop in front of
my house. What next?
Would you ask me to come in?
Hmmm! Maybe.
And only because the
conversation was interesting.
Damn! If I was there, I
would've got to first base.
I would've gotten you to first
base just to get done with it.
Purely as charity. High
time you got there, man.
May your tribe increase.
Especially since I'm ready now.
You are?
- I think I am.
Okay, kiss me.
Yes and close your eyes.
Whatever!
It's dark out there anyway.
Kiss her, man. Kiss her.
Boobs.
Ask your friends to
look outside the window.
They are all asleep except
for HUSSAIN who I hope is not.
So you ready?
Music!
You realise you suck
at this right?
You got to seize the moment, not
wait to arrange background score.
It's my first time in
a long time.
Ok. You there? Hello!
Did you hang up one me?
Shut up and kiss you ass!
Hey! But you made the jump.
Yes. You know I feel
stupid kissing a phone.
I am sure the guys are very
happy you stopped with the phone.
Is this just a phone thing
or would you have actually
kissed me if I saw you tonight?
I would have kissed you.
My good deed for the day.
You would really kiss
a guy like me?
What's wrong with
a guy like you?
I probably would've
cried all night.
I would have cried asked you
to hold me and never let me go.
Mayday... Mayday...
Going down. Abort!
Hold on, I got to pee.
Hey, sorry I had to go.
That was uncontrollable.
Hey, when you got to go,
you got to go.
I hope the snow
doesn't delay my flight.
What time is it?
It's five minutes to six.
What time do you have to go?
I need to be at the
airport by seven thirty.
Which means I need to
leave in a half hour.
Are you done packing?
I'm in transit.
Just have to change.
We are almost home
and my phone's dying.
Soon we'll go back
to our own worlds...
...and remember the crazy night
that almost changed our lives.
Yes. It changed mine for sure.
How did it change yours?
Well, that will always
be my little secret.
Hello?
Hello
- Hello
Hello?
Damn it!
Dudes, my phone died again.
Dude!
Don't look at me.
Come on dude. You don't need
your phone anymore for GPS.
I need my phone.
No. Come on.
Give it to me please.
What do you need it so much for?
Dude! Is this any phone
call doing you any good?
Not sure yet.
You want to complicate
your life?
No, man, no.
Just help me out huh.
Just help me out.
One condition.
If you ever...
ever talk about your failed
fing eight year romance...
It's over. It's dead.
I'll never do it.
Ever.
- Never.
You can kick me in the
bs if I ever do...
Kick me... Just hard.
In the bs.
Like a little girl.
Hey sorry, JC's phone died
as well. This is HUSSAIN's.
I thought I said something wrong.
No, no. Hey truth or dare?
Ok... Dare.
I dare you to tell me
what your little secret is.
Ok, what's Truth?
I want to know the truth
about what your little secret is.
And please hurry up this
is going to die as well...
Okay,
I wish you hadn't said
what you did.
But you did.
And that makes this
that much more difficult.
What are talking about?
You make me feel
like it's my birthday.
Do you have to go?
Can you change your flight?
Go some other time, go tomorrow,
day after I don't care.
Don't go tonight.
- I wish I could.
Actually, I could but I
shouldn't and I wouldn't.
Because?
Because, that would make
this that much more difficult.
Ok.
I know I am going to
feel stupid saying this...
...and it might be
extremely irrelevant...
But all I want from
life is to be anywhere...
...and be a bum but be
with the girl I love...
...and that she loves me.
You know I have always needed
wanted to prove myself to my Dad.
I have always needed
him to understand
that I am ok and I
am going to go places.
He was so proud of me
when I told him that I am
almost done with my Ph D
and I am finally coming
back to India.
He was so happy and
everything felt so right.
My life was like back on track.
And suddenly...
...now...
...it doesn't seem
to matter remotely.
Life's a bitch, right?
Hang on. I need to change.
I told you,
you shouldn't do that...
You are harmless.
Besides, we've done this before.
Hey, wait.
You are a beautiful woman.
I'm not sure if this
is even real or what
...but I'm scared that
I'm going to wake up...
and find out that
this was just a dream.
Beautiful.
Dream.
All it takes is a moment for
them to start doing something.
All it takes is a
moment for them to stop.
Yeah. I know I sound fickle.
...beginning of this phone call...
...I was holding on for
dear life to some girl...
...for three years ago and now
I'm pleading with another one.
Are you?
No, I am not pleading but...
Thank God! I
would've felt like the
world's cruelest bitch
if you told me not to go.
No...
When you got to go,
you got to go.
I will always cherish tonight.
No matter where we go.
Nothing can change this.
It's been the most perfect night.
I want you to do one
thing before you go.
What?
Call me from the landline.
Why? - No, my phone's
going to die in any moment.
Just call me from
the landline ok.
Okay.
- Ok. Bye.
Hi - Hello. May I speak
with Mr. Turiya Omprakash?
Wow. You remember my surname.
I remember every bit of tonight.
I wanted you to clear your inbox.
Oh. You didn't really send
me any messages, loverboy.
That's true.
Okay, you're never going to
use this phone again, are you?
No.
- Ok.
I want you to remove the SIM card.
- Okay.
Ok?
- Taking out the SIM card
Thank you.
Now go to the bathroom.
Alright. Going to the bathroom.
Good.
Now just flush it down the toilet.
What?! Why?
Because.
What if I want to call you again?
That's why.
You don't want me to call you?
No, I want us to have a clean
break. I want us to travel light.
Okay.
Fast learner.
Oh guess it is time
for you to leave...
...and my battery is
going to die in any moment.
Thank you for doing that.
I know you did that for me.
What?
Help me clear my mind space.
So, I guess this is it.
Yes
Goodbye.
- No. Don't ever say Goodbye.
Goodnight.
Good Morning.
Put on some music guys.
Think she would've
gotten it by now.
What's that?
- The Waffles.
You actually got those delivered?
- Yep.
Well I got to say I am impressed.
But she's gone and you are moving
on and I am glad that you are.
You know I have never said this...
...but I am so glad
that you were right...
...all those times
that you abused me.
Thank you brother.
Do her man. Do her.
Ok.
Hi. This... This is TURIYA,
single and alone on
New Year's Eve.
Just like you.
LISTEN! I am not a hooker.
I am not some chick
you can pick up at a bar.
I'm not the girl that
you are going to take home.
I am not even going to
give you my phone number.
I am five drinks down and
I can still speak in
complete sentences...
...making total sense and perfect
logic with flawless grammar.
Did you guys
consider the possibility...
...that maybe I was just
sitting in my room bored...
...and stepped out for a drink.
Well... Well...
You are like the eighth
set of guys to hit on me over
the last two hours
and I am still sitting here,
ALONE!
By myself.
What does that tell you?
That... you talk a lot, sister.
It's always a great
ride while it lasts.
Most people know when to get off.
But me, I am a sucker.
I do it every time.
Despite the futility of it all.
The icebreaker
The honeymoon.
The reality check.
The break up.
The patch-up.
The confiding.
The great friendship.
And the killing confusion.
We always want more
but we can't have it all.
So we run away from the
very things we once chased.
And then one day, you find
someone you can walk with.
We are all companions anyway.
For a while. Or a longer while.