Where is it?
In the middle. There.
Yeah, I've got it. I've got it.
Look at that.
Calm down.
I can't concentrate.
That is a brassiere.
She's got a brassiere.
Oh, take it off. Take it off.
Transmit.
Tell her to take off her bra.
-Take off your brassiere--
-Concentrate, you bastard!
-Concentrate!
-I was.
Oh, my.
Oh, my God.
I--I--I--I can't breathe.
Oh, Andy, grow up.
I can't see.
God, Eric, where's your camera?
What a picture.
What a photograph.
I could make a fortune
with a photograph like that.
What a doll. What a doll.
That was terrific.
Superb.
What are we doing
tomorrow night?
-Coming back.
-Coming back.
Right.
We could bring sandwiches.
A lot of fuss
over a bit of tit, eh?
-Hey, look. The knickers.
-Oh, yeah.
Ah, thanks. G'day.
Next game, OK?
See you, Gregory.
Terrible game, eh?
Bad. Very bad.
Yeah. You've got to laugh.
And what've you got
to laugh about?
Us.
Football
is all about entertainment.
We give them a good laugh.
It's only a game.
It's only a game?
It's only eight games.
Eight games in a row
you've lost.
Can't lose 'em all.
You push us really hard.
No mercy, lots of discipline.
Get tough.
We need goals.
It's your job to get them,
and you don't.
Well, nobody's perfect.
It's a tricky time for me.
Doing a lot of growing.
It slows you down.
Five inches this year.
Remember last year?
I was way down here.
Are you growing a mustache?
I want to make some changes.
Good idea.
It'll make you look older.
In the team. I want to make
some changes in the team.
Mmm, you're the boss.
I want to try out
some other people.
Switch the team around.
Take some people out.
I was going to take you out.
Oh, you don't want to do that.
-Yes, I do.
-You don't.
I do.
You don't.
Well, what about Andy?
He's not even started
growing yet.
He's gonna be real trouble.
-I'll tell him.
-I'll tell him.
A week's trial as goalie
for you, then I'll decide.
Got a jersey my size?
Andy's a lot smaller--
Never mind about the jersey.
A week's trial, then I decide.
You're the boss.
Who's taking over my position?
I want to try out
some new people.
You won't regret this.
OK, so Phil Menzies is daft.
He's daft enough maybe
to throw you out of the team.
I'm not saying he will fling
you out. No, I didn't say that.
But he's daft.
He's daft enough to do it.
Look, I'll tell you what.
Tell you what.
If--Just supposing...
Phil Menzies is daft enough
to throw you out of the team...
Well, I'll resign.
Really?
Yeah, well, when I say,
"resign..."
what I'm getting at,
what it boils down to...
what I'm trying
to say really is...
I'll resign myself...
to making a decision
if it happens.
I'm not saying that it will.
It might, but it won't.
Well, I'll see you later,
Gregory, OK?
Where are you going?
Well, I just want to stay here
a wee bit longer...
and watch the traffic.
I like looking
at the big trucks.
Do you know that at least
twelve tons of cornflakes...
passes under here every day?
-Really?
-It's a well-known fact.
Ha. Gee, is it?
Never knew that.
-I'll see you later.
-Yeah. See you.
Had that dream again last night.
Oh, it was terrific.
-Hello, darlin'.
-Oh, hey there, darlin'.
Daddy!
Two advantages
about learning to drive...
in this new town environment...
very obvious ones--
up into third gear--
the absence of traffic lights...
total absence
of stray pedestrians.
But you must remember
in other towns...
things won't be so controlled.
Mirror and brake!
That's the way.
Relaxed position.
Brake!
That's the way.
Come here, you.
Was that an emergency stop?
Emergency stop--
unsimulated, yes.
Hi, Mike.
Call me dad, Gregory,
or pop or something.
It makes me feel better
when you call me dad or father.
Listen, I won't take up
any more of your time.
I know what it's like
driving under instruction.
That was my first
emergency stop, by the way.
Was it?
Well, that was really good.
Really good, that. OK?
Stay, Gregory.
I'm sure Mr. Clark
would like a minute...
to collect his thoughts, anyway.
My name's Anderson.
Uh, what's the score?
Are you going to school late
or coming home early?
Hand brake in neutral,
Mr. Clark.
-How are you, anyway?
-Oh, fine.
We're all very well.
You remember your mother?
Yeah, I remember mum.
She was asking after you
just the other day.
I told her we met briefly
in the hallway last Thursday...
and you looked fine.
Listen, I've got an idea.
Why don't we meet up
later in the week for breakfast?
Say, 8:00 in the kitchen?
-Friday?
-Yeah.
-Yeah. Sounds fine, yeah.
-It's a date, then.
Ignition, mirror, signal, gear,
Mr. Clark.
And we'll start
the driving lessons...
when you've mastered
the walking bit, OK?
Every bloody morning.
He's mad.
He should be locked up.
Any tea?
He must think he's invisible.
Stupid bastard.
Who is it?
It's that daft boy
in fourth year.
The one
that's on your football team.
I heard they were awarded
a free kick last week...
and took a lap of honor.
Oh, him.
His days are numbered.
After next week,
he's out, kaput, finished.
I'm going to get some new blood
on the team. Big changes.
Yeah. Have a sponge cake.
New regime. I'm signing on
a new striker this morning.
Uh, who made these?
Oh, relax.
It was Sandra and Alison, 3-A.
Very nice girls. Very clean.
Oh, Sandra and Alison, eh?
Very nice girls, eh, Alistair?
Still gettin' the poems
from June as well, eh?
You'll get put away.
-I like your mustache.
-Does it show already?
I've only been growing it
two days. Thanks a lot.
It's really nice.
Makes you look very grown up.
-Thanks.
-Very, very mature.
Yeah, right. I mean, you look
at least fifteen already.
Well, I've got to scram.
I've got an important morning
this morning.
One place on the team
for the best striker.
I've organized a trial...
to see what they're like
under pressure.
Well, I'll see you later.
Are you still getting
those poems from Jean?
Oh, come on.
You know it's not right to ask
those sort of questions.
We are dealing with the emotions
of a vulnerable...
sensitive
sixteen-year-old redhead.
I may have some news for you
by lunchtime, Sonny.
I'll keep you posted.
Right. You all know
what I'm looking for--
a goal scorer.
That requires two basic skills--
ball control,
shooting accuracy...
and the ability
to read the game.
Three things--so...
this trial will allow me
to assess these two--
three basic aspects
of your skills, right?
What's the idea
of the sneakers, boy?
Have you no boots?
I'll get some
if I get on the team.
Oh, that's a dead loss, son.
Go and get changed.
We play in real boots in
this school from the word "go."
Right. Basic ball control.
Trotting with the ball
at your feet, 50 yards and back.
Two lines. Come on, go!
Both sides of the foot now.
Come on.
I want to see complete control!
Come on, faster now!
Come on!
A little bit more pace.
Anybody can walk with the ball.
Come on!
Well, what do you want, lass?
Faster now!
-What do you want, dear?
-I'm here for the trial.
Look, this is
a football trial, dear.
Maybe Mrs. Macalpine's
up to something...
with the hockey team--
I don't know--
but this here
is football for boys.
That's right.
Football trials, 11:00 a.m.
I saw the notice.
Look, I'm sorry you pegged out
wrongly, dear...
but it was boys I wanted
for the trial.
It didn't say so on the notice.
It just said "talented players."
Look, I'm sorry you pegged out
wrongly, dear.
There's been a slight
misunderstanding, obviously...
but there's nothing
I can do about it now.
-Come on!
-It didn't say "boys only."
You're not allowed to, anyway.
I want a trial.
It's not possible, dear.
Not today.
Well, we don't have
a spare ball.
Here's one.
OK, into twos now.
I want to see some penetration
work and a kick at goal.
One attacker, one defender.
It's an open goal, so let's see
who's first to score.
Right. You defend me, then.
What's going on?
She's gorgeous.
She is absolutely gorgeous.
That's Dorothy.
Do it again, same pairs.
She's got funny ears.
Right. Three kicks each
at goal now.
Let's see how you do
against a real goalkeeper.
You first, dear.
Right. That's it. Finished.
Stamina test.
Once around the playing field
and back to the dressing room.
It's only a quarter of a mile...
and should be treated
as a sprint.
Right. Off you go.
Well?
I'll let everyone know
in the fullness of time.
I'll pass the word on
to Mrs. Macalpine.
I was the best.
You know I was the best.
It's not that simple.
It could be out of my hands.
I'll have to see.
If I was the best,
I should be on the team.
-The notice said so.
-I said we'll see.
You might very well
get onto the team.
We'll work it out soon.
You've got to put me
on the team list!
I want to sign something.
What a dream.
Mr. Menzies!
I want to sign something.
Open the door.
Look, Charlie,
we've got to get some girls.
We've got to make a move.
Even Gregory's at it now.
We're falling behind.
I don't think
there's any advantage...
in putting it off any longer.
Besides,
it's making me depressed.
Sorry I'm late.
That's just paint there.
I'll get the biscuit mix
started.
You go and put the oven on.
-Four hundred and fifty degrees.
-Yes, boss.
Hey, Steve, can you help me out
with this pastry mix thing?
Pastry mix? There's more
than one kind, you know.
Short crust, flaky, rough puff.
Margaret's doing the strudel
soup, and I'm doing pies.
It's the eggs I'm not sure of.
"Strudel soup?"
Oh, I'd love to try
some of that.
It's noodle soup, and you don't
put eggs in the pastry anyway.
It's eight ounces of flour,
four ounces of margarine--
Pinch of salt.
Mix it up...
put it in the oven for
fifteen minutes, that's that.
No eggs, no strudel.
Nothing, OK?
That simple, really, is it?
There are five guys
in fifth year...
crying themselves to sleep
over that.
Six,
if you count the music teacher.
Look, take it easy.
Just take it easy.
You ever been in love?
I'm in love.
Since when?
Half an hour ago.
It's great.
I feel restless, and I'm dizzy.
It's wonderful.
Bet I don't get any sleep
tonight.
That sounds
more like indigestion.
No, I'm serious.
Who is it?
Is it a mature woman?
Did you wash your hands?
Don't be crude.
It's someone
on the football team.
-Really?
-Yeah.
Have you told anyone else
about this?
Probably just a phase.
Who is it, Andy?
No, it's Dorothy.
She's a girl.
She's got lovely long hair.
And she smells...
really gorgeous.
Even if you just walk past her
in the corridor...
she smells gorgeous.
She's got teeth,
lovely white teeth.
White, white teeth.
Oh, that Dorothy--the hair,
the teeth, and the smell.
Oh, that Dorothy.
And she's on the team?
Well, I think
she's taking my position...
but she's really
a good footballer.
Can she cook? Can she do this?
Look, Steve...
when you're in love, things
like that just don't matter.
Give me the margarine.
Think she'll love me back?
No chance.
Watch that mix,
or it'll go stiff, Gregory.
What do you mean, no chance?
No chance.
Another goalie.
It's real garbage.
This is a real farce.
Nine games lost in a row,
and what do we do?
Sack the goalie and put a girl
on the forward line.
It's a madhouse!
Watch the game, Andy,
watch the game.
She's good. She can move.
It's not right. It's unnatural.
It doesn't even look nice.
It's modern, Andy. It's good.
More than girls, more than boys.
It's tremendous. Look.
Get back.
Get back!
Girls weren't meant
to play football.
It's too tough, too physical.
Tough?
Have you ever seen them
playing hockey?
They're like wild animals.
Even at twelve or thirteen,
they'll kill you.
You know, hockey was invented
by the Red Indians...
as a form of torture.
They used to make the cowboys
play the squaws.
Shite! That was lacrosse.
And anyway, if women
were meant to play football...
they'd have their tits
somewhere else.
They weren't designed
for football.
Watch the ball!
Crouch and meet it.
Don't wait for it.
Watch the winger,
he's coming up fast!
Wait for the cross!
Come on. Give us the ball.
What a prick.
Took my eye off the ball
for a split second...
two micro-seconds.
We need more women on this team,
more new blood.
Yeah, she's some girl.
Go on down. Make it good.
Look! A goal!
Oh, great!
What a goal! What a girl!
Yeah, she's got a nice pair
of legs as well, eh?
Andy, please.
Look at that.
It's disgusting!
That is perverse...
and--and on a football field,
with kids watching.
Come on, there's a football game
to be played.
That's the sort of thing
that gives football a bad name.
That--that is disgusting!
That's a girl?
You're a genius, Robert.
You're a genius.
Have you got any band-aids
in here?
There's none next door.
Maybe.
I'll get some.
Don't panic.
It's just a scratch.
I only want to stop my tights
getting blood on them.
Big gorilla on the left wing.
I got him back.
I got my boot on his shin
and slipped it right down.
Big animal.
You'll have a bruise there.
Not if I let it bleed.
That's the idea.
I don't bruise easily.
I do.
I bruise like a peach.
Bruise.
See that? I was only three
when that happened.
I was chasing a boy
on the beach.
I wasn't gonna hurt him.
I fell on a bottle.
That'll never go away.
I'm marked for life.
I'm imperfect.
No, no. It's nice. I like it.
-Really?
-Yeah.
I hurt my arm once...
at the joint.
I can't get it any higher
than this.
Used to be able
to get it way up here.
You just did.
No, it's this arm.
It's stuck.
Look at this, then.
My big brother
threw a bike at me.
I was only seven.
I can only see it
in the mirror.
It's quite nice, isn't it?
Nice shape.
Renaldo--that was a boy in Italy
last summer--
he said it was like a new moon.
Very romantic. La luna.
Ah, si, si. Bella, bella.
Ah, parliamo italiano?
No, not really.
Just bella, bella.
Oh. I think
it's a wonderful language.
It's so alive.
I want to live in Italy
when I leave school.
I can speak-a de language.
I'm a quarter Italian
and a quarter Irish...
On my mother's side.
Hey, I can speak Irish.
What was Renaldo
doing down there anyway?
He lives there.
No, I mean down there.
Oh, he was putting
some suntan oil on for me.
Bella, bella.
Anything else to show me?
Any major wounds
when you were twelve?
Hmm? Fourteen?
Oh, hi, Dorothy.
Nice to see you. Good game.
Look, I'd like to have a chat
with you...
for the school magazine.
I want to interview you...
and that girl in 2-A
that had the triplets.
You're pretty famous now,
you know?
I'm sorry. This is a dressing
room. You can't come in here.
Eric, get the whole
dressing room thing...
and some nice big closeups
of Dorothy.
You don't mind if Eric flashes,
do you?
This is no place
for a camera, Eric.
People take their clothes off
in here.
Yeah, where better?
Look, could you stand in there?
Too many shadows.
Just keep well in there, eh?
Thanks.
I like to interview people
like this--
no preparation,
everything nice and natural.
Now tell me, Dorothy...
how are the boys taking it--
you being on the team now?
You guys are so predictable.
Always trying to cause trouble.
We're all very happy.
Dorothy's
a very good player.
Slow down, Gregory, will you?
This is an in-depth interview.
-Dorothy?
-Things are fine.
I'm quicker than most boys,
so I can keep out of trouble.
I take dancing lessons, too,
and that helps my balance.
What you've got to remember is
that my body's quite different.
Hmm. You've got a good body.
You must train a lot
to keep in shape.
Do you have time
for anything else?
I mean, what do
you and your body do...
on a Saturday night,
for instance?
Oh, Saturday nights are special.
I like to do something special.
Hey, how about doing
something special this Saturday?
Come on,
this is a dressing room !
You all go and conduct
your business somewhere else.
-I'll go and change, too.
-OK, Dorothy.
You're an interesting girl,
you know?
But I want to find
the real Dorothy.
The one underneath
the football shirt--
Dorothy, the woman.
-Cheerio, Gregory.
-Arrivederci, Gordon.
Hurry back.
Bella, bella.
I'd like to do something special
on Saturday night.
Bella, bella!
What's this sudden need
to speak Italian, Gregory?
Oh, it's not sudden.
I've been thinking about it
for about three years.
It's just taken a while for me
to make up my mind.
It's very late in the term
to start.
I've got some free time.
I'll catch up.
It's very important to me.
You see, I want to live in Italy
when I leave school.
-Been there, have you?
-No.
I've been to Ireland, though,
and I met some Italians there.
They told me all about it...
in English.
Renaldo
could speak good English.
Renaldo?
Is that your Italian friend?
Well, not just him.
There were girls there, too.
I just said Renaldo 'cause
he could speak good English.
What kind of work
do you want to do in Italy?
Uh, I'll just learn
the language...
and then I'll see
what there is going.
You know, you should think
about taking a course...
in technical Italian.
Is that what's to do
with workin' engines and--
Ohh, I think I'd rather
do the normal Italian...
and work my way down.
Well, we'll leave it just now.
I'll have a word
with your form master...
see what he can
come up with, OK?
I'm really pleased
you're interested.
It's a lovely country.
Oh, yeah.
Wonderful language.
Don't you think it's so alive?
Did you manage to pick
any of it up at all?
Oh, a couple of words.
Um, bella...
and bella...
Are there any words
you could teach me just now?
Te lo dir.
It means "I'll let you know,"
Gregory, OK?
What about Alan? Do you think
he's still a virgin?
Nah. He's been
in the school orchestra...
for over a year now.
Pass the sulfuric acid,
will you?
Here.
What's the pH in that?
Seven.
-How's the football going?
-Oh, it's good.
You need to cut that up a bit.
It's too big.
What about
the goalie Gregory, hmm?
What do you make of Gregory?
Well, he's a bit slow
and a bit awkward.
Yeah, slow and awkward.
He's got a nice laugh.
Give me the bromide, will you?
Room four.
Good afternoon.
Do you know
that when you sneeze...
it comes out of your nose
at one hundred miles an hour?
It's a well-known fact--
one hundred miles an hour.
Just like that.
Room sixteen?
Hurry up.
Te lo dir.
"Here comes my messenger.
"How now, mad spirit!
"What night-rule now
about this haunted grove?
"My mistress with a monster
is in love.
"Near to her close
and consecrated bower...
"while she was
in her dull and sleeping hour...
"a crew of patches,
rude mechanicals...
"that work for bread
upon Athenian stalls...
"were met together
to rehearse a play...
"intended for great Theseus'
nuptial-day.
"The shallowest thick-skin
of that barren sort...
"who Pyramus presented
in their sport...
"forsook his scene
and enter'd in a brake...
"when I did him
of this advantage take...
"and forth my mimic comes.
"When they him spy...
"as wild geese
that the creeping fowler eye...
"sever themselves
and madly sweep the sky...
"so, at his sight,
away his fellows fly..."
Please, miss.
There's Billy out there.
"He murder cries
and help from Athens calls.
-"Their sense thus weak..."
-Be quiet, Andy.
"Lost with their fears
thus strong...
"made senseless things
begin to do them wrong...
"for briars and thorns
at their apparel snatch..."
Nice of you to drop in.
"From Yielders all things
catch. I led them on--"
Well, you said you'd come back
and see me again.
Here I am.
Hey, can I introduce my boss?
Miss Welch, this is Mr. Hall.
It's his own business.
Pleased to meet you.
Well, how's our Billy
shaping up?
He's a good lad.
He's been telling me all about
the characters in the school.
-He likes you.
-Oh.
And he's washed a few windows
as well.
I hope you're doing mine
for free, Billy.
Well, for old times sake.
Give us your glasses, and
I'll do them as well, no charge.
Thank you.
See you outside at 4:00,
lads, eh?
Listen, why don't you come up
and see me sometime?
I'll do that.
I'll use the stairs, though.
"I led them on
in this distracted fear...
"and left sweet Pyramus
translated here--
"when in that moment,
so it came to pass...
"Titania wakes and
straightway loved an--an ass"?
Doughnuts.
Well, we're still doin'
the two kinds--
the jam-filled and the rings.
What kind of jam?
-What would you like?
-Black currant?
That's no problem.
-I'll have half a dozen.
-Half a dozen.
I'll tell you what. I'll
throw in two ring doughnuts.
There's usually some left
on a Friday.
Good.
Have you given the petits choux
any more thoughts?
What was that again?
It was a basic choux pastry.
I've been workin' on it.
I think I've got it perfect.
That's good. It's very good.
I'd like everything in my office
by 3:00 Friday.
-Is that understood?
-Yes, sir.
I'm sorry I'm early.
Have a seat, Mr. Menzies.
There's a girl
on the football team.
Uh, well, yes and no.
-Yes and no?
-Yes.
What do you mean?
Well, we could have a girl
on the football team...
if we wanted one.
Do we want one?
Well...
I think it's a wonderful idea.
Terrific!
Yes,
and she's a great wee player.
She won't hold the team back
one little bit.
One possible problem area--
the showers.
What happens about the showers?
Oh, she'll bring her own soap.
And you'll undertake
to keep everything aboveboard?
Oh. Oh, yes, uh-huh.
Most definitely.
-Carry your bag for you?
-I can't see you today.
I've got to go up
to the big school.
-What for?
-Oh, family trouble.
Is it Gregory?
Guess what?
He's fallen in love.
That's big trouble.
Well, maybe I can see you
later on.
-Right. Bye-bye.
-Bye.
Cigarette?
Waitin' for somebody?
You're not givin' much away.
There's 2,000 people in there.
Gregory, fourth year.
Oh, Steve's pal.
Are you Gregory's girl?
I'm Madeline.
She's fancied me
since first year.
She's after my body.
I might have to give in.
Why don't you come up
and see me sometime?
Hey, hey, watch the jacket!
I had to wet-wash and polish
eighty-four windows for this.
That's some job. Do you get
danger money for that?
No, but if I die...
my mother gets her windows
washed for nothing...
for twenty-five years,
inside and out.
I'll tell you
what you need danger money for.
It's the women.
There's something about
window cleaners...
that just turns 'em on.
Especially
at that Loganville estate...
you know,
the private houses?
They spend too much time
on their own up there.
So we turn up once a week,
singing songs, telling jokes...
-Washing the windows?
-Right, washing the windows.
Then before you know it,
round the back door...
"Hello, darlin',
can you give us some hot water?"
I don't get it.
Hot water? Is that a code?
No.
It's for washin' the windows...
but that's just to get
the conversation goin'.
Anything can happen after that.
I suppose the worse
that could happen...
is they could give you
some hot water.
Yeah, that sometimes happens.
We saw a great thing last week--
you know,
a nurse up at the hostel--
tits, bum, panties, the lot.
Oh, I can see that fifty times
a day through a window.
It's contact's the thing.
Doin' it.
-Have you done it?
-Eleven times.
-In the one night?
-No, at different times.
There's something new
always crops up.
What d'ya mean?
Stuff like foreplay?
Foreplay is important
as long as you know...
it's leading up to something.
Otherwise,
it's just fooling around.
-I'll see you guys later, right?
-See you, Billy.
Bye-bye, Madeline. If I don't
see you through the week...
I'll see you
through a window, eh?
Oh, they grow up fast,
don't they?
Ten years old, with the body
of a woman of thirteen.
You need some new trousers.
These baggy ones are awful.
I'll talk to mum about it.
Blue ones, Italian.
If you're going to start
falling in love...
you'll have to start
taking care of yourself.
Are Italians good dressers?
Yeah. They make nice trousers.
They've got style.
I was talking to Steven's sister
about Dorothy.
She's very attractive.
I knew you'd fall for that type.
She's quarter Italian.
Don't get too serious about her
if you can help it.
You asked her out yet?
I can help you.
I can tell you things.
I'm a girl.
You were nice to me...
when other boys
hated their sisters.
If it was brown, it would be OK.
Not enough brown in it.
There's a dark brown.
Well, the gray
was quite nice, too.
You don't think about colors,
do you?
If you don't take an interest
in yourself...
how can you expect other people
to be interested in you?
Talk to Dorothy. Ask her out.
She won't say no, I'll bet you.
But don't treat her too special.
You're too romantic.
It could scare a girl off.
What kind of things
should I say?
For goodness sake,
don't plan it.
Don't think about it.
Do it!
So I should think less about
love and more about colors?
You've got it.
What would you like?
Ginger beer and lime juice
with ice cream, please...
but don't stir it.
Coffee, please.
Black or white?
Brown.
They don't do blue coffees here,
Madeline.
This isn't Italy. No style.
Do you dream about her?
That means you love her.
It's the one you have
the dreams about that counts.
Who do you dream about?
Just ginger beer and ice cream.
I'm still a little girl,
remember?
That looks nice. Is it?
Yeah. The nicest part is
just before you taste it--
your mouth goes all tingly--
but that can't go on forever.
I'm adding a proportionate
amount of sugar...
which is two to one, but I think
that's going a little far...
Do you know anything
about Italians?
Excellent seafood
in the northwest.
Some of their regional
pasta dishes are good, too--
good with salads,
very stylish all 'round.
Whoa, whoa!
Go easy with the sugar, lady.
Food, food, food!
Is that all you think about?
You're unnatural, pal.
You're a freak!
You eat it, don't you?
I've never seen you turn your
nose up for anything I've made.
Hours and hours I've spent...
making you
lovely, lovely things...
and all it means to you
in the end is food?
Look, pal, I don't know
whether you've noticed...
but I'm going through a crisis.
Of course, I've noticed,
but what do you want me to do?
The whole world's got problems.
You're just obsessed...
by a beautiful, young,
unattainable girl.
So what?
Stop saying things
like obsessed, unattainable.
-It's love!
-OK, it's love.
Go and attain her then,
sweep her off her feet.
Oh, I forgot.
You're the goalkeeper.
She's the sweeper.
Look, one key question--
have you spoken to her?
Asked her for a date?
Anything?
Well, do it, then complain.
If I get a date,
can I borrow your white jacket?
Maybe that's her.
I wonder if Maddie's in.
You mean Madeline.
She's out with her mother.
That's a shame. I thought
we could go for a walk.
-Maybe I could wait.
-No. They'll be ages.
Maybe she could phone me
later on. She has my number.
Who are you anyway?
You're talking about
my sister...
and she doesn't go out for walks
with anybody.
What's the idea,
coming to people's doors...
seducing people's sisters?
Act your age.
Go and break some windows...
demolish some phone boxes.
-See, when I was your age--
-You're Gregory, aren't you?
How you feeling? Everything OK?
Ha ha! There's nothing wrong
with me, son.
You're the one that should be
worried, seducing children.
You're a freak!
You're heading for big trouble.
Underage walks, dates--
you'll run out of vices
before you're twelve...
if you don't slow down.
Go on, piss off.
OK, Gregory. Fair enough.
Richard's the name.
Ask Maddie to call me anyway.
The name's Madeline!
Go on, piss off!
Get.
I had that dream again
last night.
That's four nights in a row.
That's really good, that.
Hold on. I'm in the dark.
-Yeah. What is it?
-Can I come in?
You know,
I'd make a lousy photographer.
I get scared in the dark.
What'd you want?
Just wondered
how the snaps turned out.
You know,
the ones in the dressing room.
Oh, Dorothy.
I'm working on her just now.
She's a beauty.
She's a dream to photograph.
Very interesting.
I could really go for this girl
in a big way.
Look at that nose.
Very pretty.
Eh, some of the guys reckon
that she's too much like a boy.
I don't.
I think she's wonderful.
Her like a boy?
No. She's just modern.
You're right.
It's modern. It's the future.
In another million years,
there'll be no men, no women.
There'll just be people.
It's logical evolution.
Evolution's the thing.
No more men and women?
Just a whole world
full of whack-offs.
Drink.
Yeah, this is a modern girl,
made to be photographed.
Boy, I'd love to get
my wide-angle lens on her.
A low key light, a soft fill.
Ah, the face and the body
of the eighties.
Could really make that girl.
One elephant, two elephant...
three elephant, four elephant...
five elephant, six elephant.
If you don't put in
the elephants...
you don't get real seconds.
Ten elephant.
Each print
needs an exact exposure.
This one needs ten elephants.
-Here she comes.
-There you go, you beauty.
Look how quickly
Gordon moved in.
He knows what he likes.
I timed it--you know,
one elephant, two elephant?
One minute and fifty elephants,
and he had a date.
That's a record, even for him.
What a guy, eh?
What an absolutely
incredible guy. Hmm?
What a guy. Absolutely.
Look, give us a photograph,
will you?
Oh, I get it.
You fancy her, too, eh?
No! It's for a friend...
someone really shy.
Just give us a photograph, eh?
This is really expensive.
Chemicals and the paper--
really expensive.
-Twenty pence.
-Forty.
-Twenty-five.
-I'll frame it for a pound.
No. I'll take it
the way it is, thanks.
Better give you a dry one.
Don't want you
dripping down the corridor.
Hey, are you Gregory?
Yeah, that's me, sweetheart.
Who wants to know?
Dorothy wants to see you.
-Dorothy?
-That's what I said.
She'll be in room nine
at break time, OK?
-Give us your comb, will you?
-No.
-Give me your comb!
-No!
Thanks, pal.
I don't really want to.
Hi, Dorothy. I got your message.
Good. I just wanted to know
what you're up to at lunchtime.
Oh, nothing that can't wait
a million years.
Will you help me out
with some goal practice?
-Yeah, sure.
-It'll speed things up.
I want to practice some shots
at different angles.
I'll bring my compass.
Good. Well, I'll see you
at half 12:00, then.
-Fine.
-Good.
See you.
Look at all those men.
Boys.
What's the difference?
Con questo.
I'm on my way, Steve.
It's off the ground.
Romance is in the air.
Hi, pal.
Can I have your white jacket?
I don't want to make
a big thing about it.
It's just that the jacket
would really help...
to put the affair off
on the proper footing.
Just for one night, eh?
What are you raving on about?
Me, Dorothy, date.
It's in the bag. She's after me.
She wants me to play with her
at lunchtime.
My, my, she wants you
to play with her, eh?
How do you do it, Gregory?
Football, we're playing.
I'm gonna be her goalie.
Not with my jacket, you won't.
Morning, Kelvin.
-How's business?
-All right.
No. The jacket's for later,
for the real date.
The doughnuts are going
like hotcakes, Steve...
but the marzipan almonds...
don't seem to be
everybody's cup of tea.
Tasteless sods.
Come on, Steve.
You gave Pete the jacket
last week. Why not me?
That's exactly why,
Gregory, old son.
Did you see that jacket
the day after?
Grass stains, I don't know all
what kind of stains.
Yes, but with Dorothy and I
things will be high class.
No stains, no...
Look, I'll make a deal with you.
You get the date, signed,
sealed, and delivered...
and then come and see me
about the jacket. Fair enough?
Just keep the doughnuts
coming, Steve.
We're on the gravy train...
but what the public says
is ease off on the marzipan.
It's a deal.
You want to throw in
your brown shoes as well?
I could use
a persuasive prick like you...
in the organization.
Help me off-load some marzipans
onto an uncaring population.
Go on, get.
I bought one of these
this morning...
and it cost me
twenty-five pence.
It's not my fault.
See the boss.
Fifty-two elephant,
fifty-three elephant...
fifty-four elephant,
fifty-five elephant...
fifty-six elephant.
Don't touch the ravioli.
It's garbage.
Ravioli, please. Thank you.
Hello, Brenda.
Mind if I join you?
-How's the lunch?
-The usual.
Hmm. Meat looks OK.
Have you got a tissue?
Let's sweet-talk these two, eh?
No, really...
Good afternoon, ladies.
Mind if we join you?
How's your roast beef?
It's veal.
Veal?
You know how they make veal?
They get
the little baby calves...
and they hang 'em upside-down...
and they slit their throats
and let the blood drip out.
It's very interesting, isn't it?
This is great.
I can really use the practice.
Thanks.
Good goal.
Just kick it out in future.
It'll be much quicker.
Good idea.
Great idea!
I'll do that the next time, eh?
Great shot.
Got me that time, eh?
Could you stop dancing around
so much?
It's very distracting.
How can you judge a shot
dancing around like--
Great. First class.
You know, you're some girl.
I haven't got near the ball
yet, eh?
Well, hell. You OK?
Come on.
We've only got another hour.
Think I broke my neck chain.
Come on. Come out and tackle me.
Try and block.
Then move back
and block some more.
And use your feet.
Don't grab for the ball.
OK. OK.
Keep them coming, Dorothy.
Off you go, you small boys.
Of course, you know
we're in the wrong place.
You know where we should be?
South America.
There's a town there--
and this is
a well-known fact--
but do you know the ratio
of women to men?
Eight to one!
Eight women per one guy!
That's the sort of place
for us, eh?
It's called Caracas.
Are you happy as a goalie?
It's OK.
You waste a lot of energy.
No control.
I got tons left.
Thanks for the practice.
No sweat, eh?
Well, lots of sweat, actually.
But no sweat,
if you get my meaning.
I'm sorry you missed lunch.
It's OK.
Lunch means nothing to me.
Some nuts, some fresh fruit.
Double apple pie and custard?
That kind of thing.
I'm going for a shower.
I just wanted to say...
anytime.
For more practice--anytime.
Right. Bye.
Also...
would you like
to come out with me?
OK.
I--I mean on a--a kind of date.
I said OK.
Oh, come on.
Stop fooling around.
I mean a real sort--
If you're going to argue
about it, forget it.
No! No. Fine.
When?
Tonight--
half past 7:00,
at the clock in the plaza.
I just wanted to check.
-Tonight?
-Tonight.
-Yeah. Half 7:00?
-Half past 7:00.
-And you'll be there?
-I'll be there.
-And I'll be there.
-Mm-hmm.
-At the clock.
-At the clock.
Yeah, what is it?
Has that boy been bothering you?
No. He's harmless.
How's the training been going?
I was practicing some turns
on the ball.
I'm not very happy with it.
I think I'm using my feet
too much.
That little remark tells me
a lot about you, sweetheart.
Now, listen.
When you trap a ball...
what you got to do
first and foremost...
is kill that ball's energy.
You got to tame it.
Now, what do you use
to kill a ball's energy?
-My feet.
-And what else?
-My chest.
-And?
This! Your gluteus maximus trap,
my dear.
Now, this is what you do, right?
You've got a high ball
and a fast ball...
but it's behind you.
And you want to trap it
and turn it.
So you let the ball bounce once,
kill the momentum.
Then--
and this is what foxes them--
reverse up to the ball.
Catch it on the bounce
with your fleshy part...
drop down low on it,
and there it is.
But you don't waste time.
You're up on your feet,
you turn, steady...
and it's yours.
Ges bambino,
that's really nifty.
Right. You try it.
I'll walk you through it.
-Ready? Reverse.
-Reverse.
-Down, trap, up.
-Down, trap, up.
-Turn, steady, kick.
-Turn, steady, kick.
Remember your neck.
And under your arms.
Yes, yes.
Everything's under control.
Think I should tell her
some jokes?
Maybe.
Do you know any jokes?
Don't tell her the one
about Batman and Superwoman.
Sit still.
Hi there.
Well, hi there.
-Hello, Carol.
-Waiting for Dorothy?
She's not coming.
All right, thanks.
Wrong way.
Something turned up...
to do with her football,
I think.
Is that Steve's jacket?
Steve's has got a stain there.
There's no stain.
Uh, thanks for the word
about Dorothy.
Oh, it's OK. I couldn't
leave you here all night.
What will you do now?
-Fancy a walk?
-Where?
We could go up
to the sports center.
Nah.
I'm pretty hungry, though.
We could go up to Capaldi's,
and I'll buy you some chips.
Well, OK.
I was going that way anyway.
Gregory, hold on a minute.
Well, I feel like
a human being again.
Look, I've got to go home.
I really enjoyed the walk.
You go that way,
and I'll go this way.
-See you!
-Hold it, Gregory!
I thought
we were going for chips.
Chips.
OK.
There you are--fifty pence.
You'll get loads of chips
with that. Bye!
Don't be stupid. Come on.
You're worse than my dad,
and he's old.
At least he's got an excuse
for being a prick.
Put your coat on.
Oh, no.
Look, come on, Gregory.
All I'm asking for
is a walk up to the chip shop.
I've got a date. I'm going away.
I've just got a funny feeling...
that something nice might happen
up there, so come on!
OK. Walk ahead.
Look, Gregory, hurry up.
We haven't got all night.
Do you really fancy Dorothy?
Can you drive?
Nah, but it runs
in the family. Why?
Well, it's just that
Ricky Swift's got a car.
Dorothy knows him. He's off
at the physical ed college.
-Must be quite old then, eh?
-He's nearly nineteen.
Nineteen?
Has he got any hair left?
Ricky Swift. Sounds like
something out of a comic.
Does he fly through the air
like Batman?
"Quick, Dorothy,
to the Rickmobile."
OK. Calm down.
Don't wet yourself.
Well, lover-boy, I'm off.
Hey, Margo, here's Gregory.
Dorothy stood him up, so
he's buying everybody chips...
and telling jokes.
Have fun, Gregory. You can
tell me all about it tomorrow.
By the way...
pickled onions and dates
don't mix.
You might have to do
some kissing later on.
Well, I'll buy my own chips.
You keep telling the jokes.
What's going on?
Don't know.
I think Margo's after me.
I get that feeling.
It's a good night for it.
Are you taking her
to the country park?
Don't know.
-Think I should?
-Right, hmm?
It's a fine night for it, eh?
You know...
there's definitely something
in the air tonight, Charlie.
Something in the atmosphere.
Relax.
Where are we going?
Relax. Enjoy it.
I am.
I will.
What are you up to?
Nothing. Nothing.
Look, what's going on?
Where are we going?
Where are you and I going?
I told you to relax.
Can't enjoy yourself
if you don't relax.
I'm just a bit emotional
tonight, OK?
That's OK. It's fine.
Nothing wrong
with a bit of emotion. Come on.
Hello, Gregory.
What are you up to?
We're just cruising.
You're all dressed up.
Anywhere to go?
I've got somewhere to go.
See you tomorrow, Susan.
Relax.
I believe
you're short of a date.
There was a bit of a mix-up
earlier on.
It's OK.
Would you like
to spend some time with me...
on a kind of date?
Look, I'm not really sure
what's going on.
Is this some kind of a joke?
All this with Carol and Margo--
it's a joke, isn't it?
Not a joke.
It's just the way girls work.
They help each other.
-Is Dorothy--
-Dorothy's a good sport.
Anyway, how about it?
You and me--what do you say?
Think about it.
Sit down over there
and think about it.
OK. A kind of date.
-Do we start right away?
-Yeah.
We'll go to the country park.
It's too nice an evening
to sit in a bar.
Yeah. Far too nice.
What--what we'll do is
we'll just walk and talk.
And we don't even need
to talk that much, either.
-We'll just see how it goes.
-Fine.
I hope you don't think I do
this kind of thing all the time.
-Can we whistle, too?
-Yes, we can whistle, too.
Good.
If we were going for a drink,
what would you have to drink?
A bacardi and coke with ice.
Same here--with ice.
There's definitely something
in the air tonight, Charlie.
That's three women in a row
he's had.
I like your jacket.
I like your skirt.
I like your shirt.
I like your beret.
Thank you.
Want to swap?
Now, this is really good.
I'm really enjoying myself.
Good.
I'm glad
we bumped into each other.
Do you want to dance?
It's really good.
You just lie flat down
and dance.
I'll show you what I mean.
I'll start it off...
and you just join in when
you feel confident enough, OK?
Just dance.
I'll tell you something--
and not a lot of people
know this.
We are clinging
to the surface of this planet...
while it spins through space
at a thousand miles an hour...
held only by the mystery force
called gravity.
Wild.
A lot of people panic
when you tell them that...
and they just fall off.
But I see
you're not falling off.
That means
you've got the hang of it.
That means that you have got...
Natural ability.
A thousand miles an hour, eh?
Why are boys
obsessed with numbers?
-No, we're not.
-You are.
Don't stop dancing.
You'll fall off.
What are you two up to?
Well, what are you up to?
I'm going down to the hospital
to do the, uh, exposure test.
The flesh-tone experiment.
Oh, yeah. The flesh-tone
experiment. Of course.
Have you got
the right equipment?
Of course.
400 millimeter lens.
It opens up to 2.8...
which, with 700-foot candles
at say, uh...
100 yards...
a film speed of 360...
and a forced processing
of about 1.5 stops, it--
Do you like numbers, Eric?
Numbers
make the world go around.
How many, um, elephants...
-Elephants?
-will you give it tonight?
Can't have any time exposures.
That would ruin
the image definition.
Don't want to ruin
the image definition, eh?
Right.
So that means a fast shutter...
say at the outside, uh...
125th of an elephant.
-Sounds fine.
-Fine.
You coming?
I'd be quite interested
in the results, though.
Want to make an advance order
on some 8-by-10s?
Yeah. Put me down for six.
No. Make it half a dozen.
Listen,
I want to tell you something.
Do you know when you sneeze...
it comes out your nose
at a hundred miles per hour?
Really?
Ah-choo! Just like that.
One more number--
home by...
I've got to be.
OK, Mr. Spaceman.
I'll walk you home.
-Really?
-Mm-hmm.
I don't want to put you
to any trouble.
It's OK.
If you just want to walk me
to the bridge, that's fine.
All the way home. I don't mind.
I'll do the same for you
sometime.
Good.
That's good.
You've stopped kissing me
like I was your auntie.
Nobody's looking.
What's my auntie going to say
when I kiss her at Christmas?
Say something.
Three hundred and forty-two.
A million and nine.
How come you know
all the good numbers?
Thanks for seeing me home.
When can I see you again?
Tomorrow, history, 10:30.
I want a date.
OK, Mr. Spaceman.
12:30, room seventeen, tomorrow.
We'll talk about it.
10-4.
Good night, Mr. Spaceman.
Three hundred and seventy-five.
Five thousand six hundred
and seventy-two.
How did it go?
Are you going to see her again?
Who? Dorothy?
Who else?
Well, maybe, Susan,
for instance.
Tell me. I'll hurt you.
-Tell me.
-OK, OK.
Dorothy didn't show up.
I met Carol and then Margo
and then Susan.
She's lovely.
We went into the park.
I think she likes me.
I'll see her tomorrow.
Did you kiss her?
No. Maybe tomorrow.
You liar! I saw you.
You kissed her
about fifty times.
You'll wake the mater and pater.
I better kiss you, too, then.
Hard work being in love, eh?
Especially when you don't know
which girl it is.
Yeah. I'll work on it.
Who's gonna be Gregory's girl?
You are.
Come on, Andy. Let's go home.
That's not the way to spell
Caracas, anyway.
What?
What do you mean?
Caracas is spelled with an "A"--
c-a-s, not c-u-s.
Well, why didn't you tell me
that before?
Could you not have told me that
four hours ago?
We've been standing here waiting
for ages.
Well, let's go home.
Come on.
We can start again tomorrow.
There's some nice girls
in third year.
They always go
for the older guys--
at least the nice ones do.
There's even a couple
of beauties in second year.
I saw them the other day
in the dining hall--
Jean and Louise.
Andy, I think
everything's gonna be all right.