Once upon a time,
not long ago
I had an eight foot bong
with the strongest stroke
You know, it was known for
knocking motherfuckers out
One hit, that's it, then you're
sleepin' on the fuckin' couch
But maybe you're tripping
out rather quietly
Off in the corner
having anxiety
Hopin' for some privacy
Lips touch glass smoke
fills lungs brain cells lit
Now you elevate, top
floor, homie, what
(coughing)
Man, this is bomb
Once upon a time
in the projects, yo
- Me and the homies had to grow
- Uh huh
24 lights, air
tight, was lit right
Turn around, pounce,
one vode is clip night
Backwoods bought, like
I'm payin' an invoice
The contact have you
higher than Lloyd's voice
Abracadabra, lit
loud in a Rolls Royce
So sit your ass down, stop
talkin' and roll joints
- Aw, my bad
- Hey, what the fuck you doing, dawg
You just broke the bong
You already fuck all this...
You know what,
pass me them papers
I'll roll us up
a fat one, man
- And we'll get it lit
- I bet
Once upon a time,
not long ago
I had a household bong
that my mom would toke
Joint rip, got the
funky feel tint
Xzibit just shot me
a hit, made me quit
Wacks got them
poppin' out dimensions
Oh, slam, took a dab,
started astral projectin'
Backwood gettin' princed in
Live risin', you
still session resin'
Man that shit depressin'
Hey, here's a lesson
Yo
This a procession
Now back to the
lecture at hand
I'm about to pack this
gram in a fol' and go ham
Hit it somethin' hard
high feeling close to God
The bong hits like a
Tyson blow to the bod
Oh boy.
This is the bullshit.
(hip hop music playing)
The things I do...
Well look. It's the littlest Pep Boy.
Look at your ass over there labor trickin'.
What the hell you doin' with that hammer?
Don't nobody put hammers on engines.
Old girl must be amazin' have you under
that hood labor trickin' like that.
Labor trick!
Man, don't hate on me.
I'm a professional, now.
I ain't doin' this for no
bitch. You got me fucked up.
I'm lookin' at you doin' it for a bitch.
You right.
Hey open the door, man!
- Open the door!
- Hey, question! Question!
- What?
- Can you fix something under my hood?
Hey shut up, man.
What up, man?
Nah, she is a freak though.
I just wish I would have known
before I had to do all this work, man.
That shit hard, bro.
What was you gonna do?
Increase the amount of
coochie you get in the deal?
Goddamn right!
Shit it's only right
to get a coochie raise.
Fair exchange. No arguing, bro.
Shit, she should be airing me out
while I'm cuttin' her grass,
while I'm doin' everything.
She should be what?
Airing me out!
What the hell is "airing..."
Airing me out mean when you keep
hittin' the keypad all you hear...
(hissing)
- Ratchet!
- See I know you ain't talkin'.
Ratchet!
We out here dry, bro.
She the one got me this weed.
Let me see the weed.
Nah, bro.
I ain't trying to make
you lower your standards
just to smoke with me.
Why would I do that to you?
Come on. Let me get that shit.
Hey you stop fucking playing with me.
Here, here, here.
Don't drop the last little bit of weed.
I don't know about you but
this shit getting me high.
I think I'm high too.
What the fuck is that?
DARIUS: What?
They look like... remember that
rap group, The Ghetto Boys?
- Wow, man.
- Look like they in the middle of the street, and shit.
My mind playin' tricks on me, nigga.
Ah shit. Hey man, let's ride.
- Hey.
- What? Who are they?
DARIUS: You know that one
nigga that's always in the hood,
act like you owe him, some
kind of chip on his shoulder?
- That's him.
- You owe him something or some shit?
Nah it just ain't worth it. Let's
just ride around the corner, man.
- PAT: Alright let's deal...
- Let's go! Let's go!
Step on it dawg!
The fuck you think you goin'?
- God damn!
- It's jammed.
- Hey I gotta fix my door.
- It's this new car.
I kicked off!
I tried, man! I tried to hold you!
Wait.
This how I gotta catch up with you, nigga?
What you talking 'bout?
I just saw you pulling up,
I was fixin' to say what's
up. What you... what's up, boy?
Come on, man. I been...
...calling you and paging you and shit.
Hold up, man. Nah, that
ain't what happened, man.
I tried to...
I ain't see you text me. My phone been
messing up for a minute. It's... oh...
Texts just came in.
Rollin 'Reg...
I call him a lot too and his phone...
every time he like...
- It happens.
- ...he dropped it.
He tried to call me a lot of times.
- Call me now.
- I dropped my phone.
Shut the fuck up, hoe.
Reg, Pat. Pat, this Reg.
Oh, nice to meet you. Now
touch your ankles, nigga.
- Grab your ankles?
- What?
Who the fuck is this nigga? My liaison?
I hear y'all selling more
weed than a dispensary.
Y'all got a whole shitload of money.
Sellin' more weed than a dispensary?
They've taken all my customers.
- I can't sell a seed 'round this bitch.
- Nothing.
But you tried to, nigga. Pay up.
Bro, I can't keep giving you money.
I mean I feel bad for what
happened to you, but...
- ...that ain't my fault...
- You owe!
I owe you what?
Look at me, Spoke!
Look at me!
Huh?
I don't see what's the problem, bro.
Have you ever played soccer?
Do you know what it's like
to only get lap dances?
What's wrong with that?
And act like you feel it?
You owe. You owe, Spoke.
Man, damn!
Nigga, stop having less money.
Why you keep going up and
down, man? Get the hell on.
God damn.
You get my keys?
Yeah man, you good.
Jesus Christ, man!
Nigga just snatched them
damn keys like they was his.
"Where you goin' partner?"
What the fuck was that?
Hey man, fire it up.
Fire it up before we pull
off, man. I need to get high.
Aw man, I smoked all that shit.
Watching you... that made
me nervous as hell, man!
Tell you this though, I'd get some
kush right now if I had some extra cash.
You always talking 'bout extra
cash. Extra this, extra that...
What is this shit you be talking about?
Is there some shit you just find?
- Like, extra?
- Man I don't gotta explain.
We all out here struggling. Not just us.
It's like every time I pay a bill,
another mothafucka pop up.
Shit! Money don't grow on trees.
First of all, we all ain't struggling.
It's you, bro.
'Cause you always out here
trying to be like everybody
that's trying to stunt on people.
Trying to live above your means.
You ain't got it like that, bro!
- That's it!
- We know that's it!
Everybody know that's how you is.
We talk about you all the time on Facebook.
That's right. That's it!
What, what? Where you going man?
No, when I said money don't grow on trees.
I know money don't grow on trees!
If that was the case I'd be
planting pennies all over the ground!
Only thing grow on trees
- is apples, oranges...
- Weed,
grows on...
Weed grow on trees.
We grow...
- ...trees!
- Trees!
We grow our own weed, and we
sell it to the dispensary...
We ain't gotta pay nobody.
We can smoke our own shit,
get high forever and ever!
Not to smoke the weed!
What you talking 'bout then?
Talkin' 'bout growing our own weed
and selling it to these damn dispensaries
that's been taking our customers!
I was thinking the same thing.
But you know what else I
was thinking to bust it down?
We do it in my mama's backyard.
I ain't talkin' about no
little-ass backyard boogie.
What you talking 'bout?
I'm talking 'bout a grow house!
- Yeah, that's smart.
- All we gotta do is
get our medical marijuana card.
That way we can grow it. Legally.
Sort of.
Don't you have to like be real
sick or dying or something like...
- That's what I thought! But no.
- Like polio?
- You don't.
- What?
I know a lot of people go
to this place right here.
- Where?
- Bam!
All kind of people in there not sick.
Bunch of healthy
mothafuckas running around.
Let me see this.
- Dr. Doobie?
- Mhmm.
Dr. Feelgood? Man ain't
nobody gonna believe that shit.
- What you talking 'bout?
- I'm not that stupid, bro.
- That ain't his real name.
- What his name then?
That's like his stage name kinda.
To get his customers.
You mean patients.
I don't know if I want
all my info on file, bro,
'cause I'm skeptical on that "legal" shit.
What? Man, it ain't nothing like that.
Alright? They know we just want the hookup.
You need to stop smoking that
whack-ass weed. Got you paranoid.
We gonna get our medication, brother.
Yeah you right. What illness
you gonna go with though?
You know what? I been thinking about it.
I'm gonna keep it simple, man.
I'm gonna say I got
migraines and depression.
You call that simple?
Those near death symptoms.
Hmm.
What illness you gonna go with?
Loss of appetite. Period.
You gonna say you got your period?
Man that is mean.
I'm messing with you, man.
I know what you meant.
It's a joke, damn.
Loss of appetite, that's good, man.
'Cause can't nobody
tell you when you hungry.
You can't. Like, ask me "Am I hungry."
You hungry?
Yeah, I'm hungry.
Alright, let me ask you again.
You hungry?
Nah, I ain't hungry.
That's good as hell. Man, I
should have thought of that.
I told you. You can't think of...
- Hi guys!
- What they do?
I'm gonna need to see your photo IDs.
And have you sign in.
Come on... I told you we need an ID man.
Don't worry about it. I got that.
Thank you.
Look.
Rollin' Reg got his card
from Dr. Doobie, too.
- When he was on his feet.
- Damn.
Way before he was rolling.
- You goin' to hell.
- Alright.
The doctor will be with you momentarily.
You goin' first. You the
one got me acting like this.
- No I don't, man.
- I ain't never said nothing
about no handicapped people to you.
RECEPTIONIST: Okay. You are all set.
Feel free to give us a call if you
have any questions about your card
or your medicine, okay?
Alright, so your total
for the visit is $125.
$25 for the card and the paperwork,
and $20 for the medicine.
Can you add all that up for me, honey?
$170.
$170?
I ain't spend no $170
dollars on no damn card, bro.
That's a whole quarter ounce right there.
PAT: Would you keep calm?
The card said everything for $50.
That's still a eighth.
Look, do you wanna grow our own shit,
or do you wanna just keep complaining,
and getting ripped off?
I gotta think about that
shit, man. I don't know.
Okay, gentlemen.
- You go first.
- What?
Are you two together?
- Yes.
- No.
PAT: Yes.
Yeah, we together.
The doctor will see you both.
- Cool.
- That's her...
- RECEPTIONIST: Around the corner.
- DARIUS: Where do we go?
Doctor.
DARIUS: I appreciate that.
PAT: It smell good. It smell like free sex.
Hi, guys. How you doin?
DARIUS: Chill, man.
Yeah, help yourself.
Thank you.
So...
Are you together?
Yeah, we here together.
Hmm.
Just looking real careful.
I like to know, who's the fem?
The fem? What the...
It's you, right?
Hell no.
He had an incident when
he was little though.
Let's just move on.
Can I... can I hit that?
Yeah. Mm!
Oh yeah?
Let me try.
No.
No, I can't give you a hit of this. Sorry.
Not until you're officially diagnosed
and prescribed your medication.
A'ight.
What can I do for you?
- Well...
- I been having a lack of appetite.
Really affecting me.
You stole my illness, nigga!
I was supposed to use loss of appetite!
And you eatin' all that.
You can't have a loss of
appetite eatin' all that!
Stupid.
You can both have the appetite thing, okay?
Let me write that down.
"Lack of appetite."
You know what? You look like Mr. Ed.
These are actually for me.
- Oh, sorry.
- They're not for patients
coming in here and helping themselves.
Doc, they were so close...
Okay, that's alright.
Is there anything else?
Well, like I got shot...
- My dick be hard...
- ...like in my left leg...
- ...longer than four hours...
- ...and it came out my right leg...
- ...it's actually too big for my body...
- ...out of nowhere...
- ...and I wanna have sex...
- ...off the right...
...and I shit on myself sometimes.
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Alright.
That's disgusting.
You don't need any more reasons.
I'm just fucking with you. Come on.
You seem like great guys.
Okay, there you go, boys.
And, there's a special deal this week.
Ojai's best.
Thank you, man!
Thank you.
- There you go.
- What?
- For me?
- Yeah, go on.
That's a real nigga, man.
That's what my girlfriends call me.
Look at that. Medical
marijuana ID card, bro!
We get to grow our own weed, man!
What the hell is you doin?
Burning one.
What's wrong with you, man?
You can't just flaunt it
out in public like that!
Why not?
'Cause you can't!
F.O.H.
Foh?
Fuck outta here!
Nigga, we legally can do illegal shit.
Damn, you right. Let me hit that shit.
Alright, yeah.
Alright then, you mothafucka.
Oh shit!
What?
PAT: Hold this shit.
- What's up?
- Dude, police!
- What's up, you good?
- What the hell...
- Fire it up...
- Quit playin!
What?
POLICE DISPATCHER: Unit 24...
Round and round
The reefer blows
DARIUS: You right
man. This shit stink.
Just straight garbage.
Told your ass.
I tell you one thing though.
We start our own grow house,
we ain't naming our weed nothing
stupid like OG Bobby Johnson,
Obama Got That Fire.
None of that. We just gonna
have some bomb ass weed, bro.
You know, I can see why
people name they strain though.
It's like...
it's your brand.
You know, this mine. This
my stuff. Y'know what I mean?
So we should name it?
Why wouldn't we?
Bad Bitch!
Bad Bitch?
"Bad Bitch" we should
name it. Hear me out now.
- We should!
- No!
Brotha, you gotta get the word out.
It's just like the rap game
and you know I know that well.
You don't know shit 'bout rap game.
Man don't do that. Don't act like that.
You weren't in the rap game, man!
My Grown Gangsta mix-tape wasn't poppin?
Went platinum!
Get your ass out...
Okay, I'm lying.
But I did have a lot of people
trying to sign me up, like...
Who was trying to sign me up? Tupac...
Jay-Z came at me a couple times.
All they had to do was promote that shit.
I coulda at least got
Mix-a-Lot money, bro.
Like Sir
Mix-a-Lot?
Mix-a-Lot still
eatin' off of ass!
He eating ass?
- I said "eating off ass".
- You said...
(scatting)
I like big butts
and I cannot lie
- That shit.
- That's all it takes.
One big booty song and we blow the fuck up.
Niggas love ass.
Well I love money.
A'ight, so let's focus
on these greens, man.
Hand me that pamphlet
so I can go through it.
Let's get this thing crackin.
"10 Steps to Growing Medicine for Noobs."
Man, niggas on social networks
be lying they ass off on here.
Step one,
- location, location, location.
- 2016 Bentley Convertible...
Would you stop fantasizing
on the damn Twittergram, man,
and focus?
A'ight, find a low-crime area...
(snickers) ...for your grow room.
You don't want to bring
other people's attention
or problems to you.
Well that just shut us out
'cause everybody around us is criminals.
Step two, live where you grow.
Get to know your neighbors.
Is it a Panamera?
- Panamera Porsche.
- Look man,
would you stop fucking
focusing on that bullshit
and figure out how we can
get some damn start-up cash?
Is that like "extra cash"?
Look man, we gotta get like a
small business loan or something.
How your credit?
I mean, it ain't bad.
- Good.
- It ain't good, neither.
I still got that jet ski.
That's like a carpet stain.
Every time you clean it
up, shit get dirty again.
All I got is a truck in my
shed, and I'm like, only like,
five or six payments behind and I...
Ain't nobody gonna give us no goddamn loan.
Come on, man. Now's not
the time to be doubtful.
Look how close we is, man.
And we won't know nothing
till we try, right?
This America!
Is it our America though?
We're African-American.
It's America.
Fuck if it's our America.
We sellin' that damn weed.
And the green fucking rush is real.
A'ight? Like the old school gold rush.
This our time brotha!
- Okay.
- You understand that?
You wanna say "we shall overcome"?
We shall overcome!
DARIUS: Hey, you wanna hit this?
- PAT: We can't go in no bank high.
- DARIUS: Too late.
PAT: Yo, I been banking here for years.
So that should help.
MR. WHITE: Good evening gentlemen.
- Hey how you doin...
- What's up, boy?
And now let me check in here for a sec.
Uh-huh.
Alright. Okay.
You guys are here seeking capital and...
- ...tell me about it.
- Oh yeah.
So I'm here looking to
get a little seed money
- to get my business off the...
- Seed money.
...ground.
- Some seed money.
- Yes.
My bad.
As the business grows...
- (Darius snickering)
- we can pay back...
"Grows". That's a good one.
You killed me with that.
"Grows".
Are you guys okay?
Oh, yeah!
We just excited!
You know, to get the grassroots
of this company going,
you know what I mean? Get
our feet firmly planted,
that way we can branch out
to help the whole community.
Branch.
I see. Let me just ask you this.
What kind of business are you
guys really trying to start?
- Medical consulting...
- Tax consulting...
Say what?
He's new to the name.
He's part of the company.
We got him from The Bahamas.
He's from The Bahamas?
Oh he just started. He's in
training for the business.
And we also need a little
extra money for that too.
Well good luck on that.
So we got it? Yeah!
Mr. White, you will not be sorry.
That's not what I said.
I've been looking through your
history and your records here
and it just seems as though...
I don't really think I'm going
to be able to get this bank
to approve a loan for you guys.
Wait, what did my history
say? You lookin' at my history?
Your history, sir, is that...
you're already like $756
overdrawn in your account.
Only thing consistent is for two years,
you do have a bank balance.
Nineteen thou...
$19.87.
Nineteen dollars? You
can't take that out the ATM.
That's stuck in there, bro.
Close that, right? Now
let's say that's closed,
and keep your mind open.
It's been hard on me.
It's been hard on America.
Especially African-Americans.
Boom!
- African.
- Bro.
You guys really... You're
really taking up my time.
You know what, I really do...
Oh, taking up your time?
I have real customers, thank you.
You mean white customers.
Say, he don't like that.
- I don't like you.
- Grown Gangsta don't play that.
- You don't like me?
- No.
- You Grown Gangsta?
- Fuck you!
- Fuck me?
- Wait a second!
- I need Darius right now.
- I don't give a fuck. Fuck him.
PAT: That's Grown Gangsta!
Thanks, Mr. White.
That's why you comb your hair backwards.
You old mothafucka. His old ass.
Asshole and asshole light.
Shake up out of here.
(phone vibrating, beeping)
Okay, we need somebody that got money
to give us some money 'cause
they know we gonna make money,
and they smoke weed.
They definitely gonna have to smoke weed
'cause you gonna have to be high
as hell to loan us some money.
Somebody that love weed,
and wanna make some extra cash.
Brah, when you gonna stop
saying this extra cash shit.
Ain't no such thing called extra cash.
You got extra hos,
extra holes in yo' drawers,
extra ass...
Somebody...
There ain't no such
thing as extra cash, bro.
Somebody we could pay back in weed.
You know, it's funny you say...
I just thought about something.
That's the perfect candidate
to loan us the money.
- I know who we can get.
- Who?
The king of weed.
Who?
Snoop Doggy Dogg
Oh you know it.
See I hit that note.
Oh you know...
Why you always playing when I'm
trying to come up with ideas, man?
Who for real? Snoop Dogg?
I'm telling you, bro. I'mma tweet
him now. See if he'll holler at me.
I'mma tell him to DM me.
Beastie boy, hit me up. I need...
- "Step number three: Finances."
- ...call me ASAP.
Make sure you have the wherewithal...
He just DM'd me, let me hit him up.
...and that ain't it.
Tweetin' and shit, man.
- (phone beeping, buzzing)
- You tweetin' Snoop?
Oh shit, he callin' me.
- Hello?
- Tweet Snoop.
What's up, boy?
- Who that? Snoop?
- You know who this is?
SNOOP DOGG: This D, right?
Grown Gangsta?
Oh shit!
Man, calm your bitch-ass down!
Don't you fuck with me.
Who is that, for real?
DARIUS: Yeah, what's up, bro?
I wanted to holler at
you about some stuff, man.
Hey I know we ain't talked in a minute
but I got some stuff I
wanna talk to you about.
Yeah, it been a minute.
You got that good, nephew?
Yeah, man. You know I do, bro.
Shit, I mean that last one
you put out was fire, nigga.
That mix-tape was bangin'.
Oh, you talkin' 'bout my mix-tape.
Hell yeah. You know how I do.
You know I gotta get
back in the studio.
Them streets been
yellin' for your boy.
What?
Put Snoop on hold real quick?
Hold on, bro. I gotta ride on my enemies.
Could you please stop fucking
talking about your rap career?
Nobody care 'bout your little career, man.
Little rap career, bro?
- You say that? My friend?
- No, no. Wait.
DARIUS: My friend, bro?
PAT: I was out there with
you slinging them mix tapes.
In the rain!
If it was snowing out here, I'da
been out there with a snowsuit on
helping you push the thing.
But we got Snoop on the phone.
Ask him for the money. See if he
wanna invest in this grow house
and we can get paid, man!
I'm about to do that.
But if you give it a second. I
can't just come down like that.
You gotta finger-fuck that in there, bro.
Do Snoop wanna invest
in our grow house or not?
Yeah.
- I thought you put him on hold.
- Hello?
Yeah, nigga. Cut me in or cut it out.
A'ight, cool!
- Yes!
- That's what I'm talkin' 'bout, baby!
SNOOP DOGG: Call me in the morning.
I'mma shoot you the address.
Come pick up that cash.
Hey, man. My rap career gonna take off!
A'ight, I'm out.
Hello?
Oh yeah, so... Yeah,
like I was saying, man...
Yeah, I wanna get you on the hook
of one of my songs and whatnot.
Grow house.
Man why the fuck I ain't think of that?
You hang up.
Hang up... A'ight. Cool. I love you.
You did all that for a joke.
No that wasn't a joke, I really love Snoop.
You know what I love, too?
- What?
- Step three.
- My man!
- "Get the wherewithal".
- The wherewithal get you all the girls!
- Grown Gangsta, you a mothafucka!
Grown Gangsta, you did it, nigga!
You said you was gonna
do it. You did it! Yes!
Ooh, I knew his ass wasn't shit.
Got caught cheating underwater.
Mm.
Everybody knew it. That's why
the show's called Shadies.
It's shady people on there that
get caught from doing shady shit.
Okay, well all I'm saying
is don't let me catch you.
Catch me what?
On a episode of Shadies.
Come on now, baby.
You know I wouldn't
cheat on you. I love you.
Yeah whatever. If you love me so much
then why haven't you fixed the van yet?
For real... Uh-uh, I'm good.
I'm catching hell from these people
since I already told 'em
it was ready for donation.
It'll be finished before
you go to work tomorrow.
They sure is greedy to be so goddamn needy.
Uh-uh. That is not funny. Okay?
I really have a soft spot
for people in my heart
who don't have the things
that we take for granted.
What we take for granted?
We ain't got shit!
You seen where I live
in LA. My mama's house.
- Oh, baby, guess what.
- What's that?
My boss gave me two new
properties to manage.
For real?
While these people get evicted
from they home in Bel-Air
took the sink and trashed the whole house.
Can you believe that?
How they expect you to rent that shit out?
I don't know. I'm gonna have
to find somebody to fix it.
The owner is some old guy living in Miami.
He ain't thinking 'bout that place.
Better yet. That's a hard
job to do. I don't know how...
Oh shit. Hold up. Baby
I thought of something.
Oh God. What?
Why don't they let me do
that shit? Let me fix it.
Oh my god... Darius, knock it off.
No.
For real. Check this out now.
Let me fix the bitch,
I can get some money off of
it and give you the kickback.
Everything be gravy.
Okay, so how am I supposed to
know you gonna do a good job?
Cause this is my job on the line.
You don't trust your boy?
No, I don't trust you.
Shoot.
- What am I gonna get out of it?
- Yeah, yeah.
That's what I thought was gonna come.
I'm telling you, it all
depends on what he give me.
Whatever he give me, whatever
I can put in my pocket
depending on what I can save...
What I save, I'll break you off.
I mean that sound cool. It does.
I knew it do.
Alright.
But you have to promise me one
thing, Darius, and I'm not playing.
I'm not gonna go on
the show Shadies.
I ain't talking 'bout that.
Oh. What?
Don't risk my job.
Okay.
Darius, for real.
I'm serious too. You pay my phone bill.
Don't... don't play with me.
I promise!
(door buzzes)
Alright, when we get in
here, stay focused. Alright?
Man, what we gotta get done.
It's about that business.
Business, that's all it's about, bro.
Business.
The hell is in your mouth?
My tongue.
No, what is...
Look at your ass, man!
- What you talking 'bout, bro?
- Spit it out.
- Spit it out!
- I don't know where your hand been.
You here being all unfocused already.
You can't even talk business.
Nigga, I screamed that
much when I heard his...
Cool grill in your goddamn mouth.
Snoop ain't got time to play.
Shit, I work hard and play
hard, nephew. Come on in.
(door buzzes)
Alright, let's go.
Open the door for me.
What?
Open the door for a thug, bro!
Open the door! You know how it is!
Ice drippin, cream flippin
SNOOP DOGG: Yeah that's
that thang right there.
I'm gonna bring you back in from the top.
Money, homie, you ready?
Make sho I'm on
the front row
No diamonds but I still glow
On my boss shit call me Hugo
Money hungry got
dat dope flow
Polo is my...
Hold on.
Snoop! What's up, boy!
What up, folks!
- DARIUS: Slow motion.
- That's right.
This my nigga, Pat, man.
I'm Pat. Snoop.
Doggystyle!
Huge fan. Ever since Doggystyle
I was like, yo. I had to get that album.
'Cause I thought it was a cartoon at first.
My mama wouldn't let me get the album.
I was like "Yo, lemme get two albums."
This cartoon... Let me
get this picture, man.
Let me get this selfie right quick.
- Selfie?
- Selfie? Nigga, read the sign.
Taking no mothafuckin' selfies.
Ain't you the nigga
that don't like rap music
or you just hatin' on the homie in general?
- Oh, Snoop... nah...
- Straight up,
that mothafuckin' Grown Gangsta mix-tape,
that mothafucka was ignant.
I told that nigga, bro!
That's what I've been trying to tell him!
Yeah, nigga. Quit hatin'.
- Snoop...
- Hatin'.
I'm not a hater. You know I'm
not a hater. We... Snoop...
I did not hate on him.
This my boy. I wouldn't
be here with him now!
Why would I hate and ride
with somebody I don't...
Hey, you know I support you, man.
So D, how much you need for that weed?
- Whoa.
- You didn't tell me that.
I did. I said something to you.
I did, whatever. You
just don't be listening.
- Nigga, you don't know?
- PAT: We know.
Of course we know, Snoop. We need like...
...ten?
Ten thousand dollars? Niggas, you serious?
Yeah, I mean, Snoop. We
startin' from scratch, man.
Ten racks, cuz?
The rent, the electricity...
Shit, I thought y'all was
gonna ask for like fifty racks.
Fifty thousand?
Yeah, fifty racks!
Hell yeah!
No, no, no!
- Hell yeah! Yeah.
- No. No.
PAT: You're gonna have
to pay back fifty... no!
Snoop! We can do it for ten. It's enough.
Ten is perfect.
Ten it is then. So how
much I get back in return.
How much weed I get?
Half of everything.
What the...
Whoa, whoa!
That's weed gettin' to him.
Can I talk to you outside for a minute?
- Come here, Grown Gangsta...
- I'll be back.
...who ain't grown up yet.
Can I talk to you outside?
Give me a second. We'll be right back.
What the...
(inaudible)
Hey cuz, you see them niggas'
face when I said $50,000.
(laughing)
Goofballs.
SNOOP DOGG: Money, homie, let's get
it, my nigga. From the top on the one.
Ice drippin, cream flippin
Ice drippin, cream flippin
Ice drippin, cream...
Don't play with me no
more you know how I get!
DARIUS: Had to straighten him.
Yeah he straightened me all the way out.
'Cause what he said earlier...
He said he ain't realized what he said.
I think I'mma take half.
I ain't with that third shit.
You heard that through the soundproof door?
Yeah, nigga, I hear
everything. And don't forget it.
It's Snoop.
Ten racks.
Damn!
There's one condition with that money, man.
I need the Grown Gangsta
to get up in that booth
and give me a high 16 real quick.
That's a done deal! Hold this, bro.
I knew he was gonna ask.
- I don't know which one...
- I knew he was gonna ask.
- I guess that's a great thing, right?
- Can we go in here?
I'm just fuckin' with you.
He just fuckin' with you.
Matter of fact I couldn't
really do it no way
'cause I got another session
with Barbra Streisand and stuff.
Was it with Barbra or Mariah?
We don't know, I got so many sessions.
But on the real though, you get
that Grown Gangsta volume two,
nigga I'm all over it.
Money, homie, you ready?
You sure you don't want me to...
From the top my nigga.
Whenever I'm down and
out I get back to my self
I roll a motherfuckin'
fat bat to myself
Leave it to Beaver
America gonna legalize,
but I don't believe her
Till she finally did it
Crazy.
(phone beeps, buzzes)
Damn, baby. What is
taking you so long?
You would never guess.
Oh my god, baby.
Wait till you see this damn place.
Is that a good or bad "oh my god"?
I mean...
...they damn near took
the whole kitchen sink.
They done took the cabinets.
Babe, they pretty much took everything.
It's... it's ridiculous.
Will you just come on, please?
Alright, well we pulling
up to you now, baby.
- Hurry up.
- Yo.
PAT: Oh shit!
The girl did it big, man. Look at this!
This is amazing, man!
You know how much we could grow here?
This is gonna be our big start.
Wait a minute, hold up. I got this.
Step one...
Hold up let's go in here
first. My girl waitin' on...
- Step one...
- Mhmm.
...location.
- Step two...
- Mhmm.
- ...live where you grow.
- Mhmm.
- Done.
- And I got the wherewithal.
You know what, man? I think...
I should control the money.
Let me think about
that... Fuck-uh-no!
What?
- Man get out of here.
- Are you kidding me?
Let me explain to you. This whole
grow house was my idea anyway.
You gonna tell the whole
neighborhood about it?
Shut the fuck up. Plus Terri
don't know so calm down.
What? Terri don't know?
How are we supposed to grow all
that damn weed if Terri don't know?
- Shut up!
- Should beat your ass in front of your girlfriend.
- Do it! Do it! Do it!
- Look I don't wanna get...
- Hi, baby!
- What's up, baby.
You know who this is.
This Pat. You remember him?
Pat.
I did. I did remember Pat.
- Hi.
- Hey.
Now wait, I didn't know
you did this kind of work.
Oh yeah. Most of the planning
and the lighting and the water.
Construction.
Oh the construction. Okay, okay, perfect.
Listen, here are the keys.
These are all the alarm codes. Now listen.
So when you guys get the estimate
costs and the supply costs...
Yes!
Right back on it
So this is gonna make
my avocado super juicy?
MAN: Oh yeah. That's... that's
definitely a good one right there.
Hey, look here, pimp. Make sure it's juicy.
- My mama will come here shut this whole place down.
- Babe!
MAN: Oh it's gonna be
juicy, don't worry about it.
Hey you know my mama crazy.
She'll shut him down too.
- We need a lot of juice.
- Don't embarrass me with my bae.
Hey what's up, homie?
Well howdy doody homies to you!
How can I help ya?
Well uh... lookin' for a few things.
Matter of fact, we need some lights.
- These lights any good?
- Oh!
These are just flying off the shelves.
I can't keep them in stock.
Ran out of these a month ago,
took me a month to get new ones in.
I mean, they freakin' rock.
Need some of those then.
Okay, how many you need?
How many would it take per room?
Per room?
Like uh... growing an indoor garden.
Yeah.
Well, you know if it's a small room
you might want to consider one of
our turnkey operations over here.
Come on over this way.
This bad boy is the BC Northern Lights.
Okay, it's everything a
gardener needs all in one unit.
If it's a bigger room, well
you might need three or four.
Kay. Uh...
Two, four...
We need twenty.
Well, twenty!
E-I-E-I-O!
Old Macdonald!
That is not a garden. That is a plantation.
- What?
- Plantation?
Nah, man. We talkin' 'bout
like, Whole Foods, like uh...
Mother Earth is dying. Like we
need to save this planet, man.
We tryin' to grow like swiss
chard, quinoa, and kale.
That way we... yeah.
Okay, okay. I get it.
Exactly what are you guys thinking
of using for the feeding system?
What kind gives you, like, big ass kale?
What kind do you suggest?
Follow me.
Just the thing. We like to hear that.
I would go with something like this.
In fact you can integrate a timer system
to work with the lighting
setup that I showed you
with the feeding setup.
Yeah, that sound about like
what we're trying to do.
Damn right. Everything all on a timer,
and all we gotta do is sit
back and watch our... kale?
Alright, so...
Wrap up everything you showed us
and we can get the hell out of here.
You're forgetting about the soil.
Can't we just use dirt as soil?
Well yes! Absolutely... not.
That would be like putting
spinners on a brand new Bentley.
You could, but I wouldn't.
I would. What's wrong
with that? That's nice.
- You would put spinners on a Bentley?
- Yes I would.
SALESMAN: Now I would go
with the rockwool here.
This is perfect for indoor growing.
Will really keep the insects out.
Yeah that's nice. Okay, so...
I guess that's all "ne weed."
We can go on get outta here.
Man, you just said weed, man!
Didn't say weed.
Didn't he just say "ne weed"?
I heard "ne weed".
You is a nosy mothafucka, man.
But you sound like you
know what you talkin' 'bout.
Who are you?
I'm the guy that's gonna get
you guys all the stuff you need
delivered to your house,
set it up, for the best price in LA.
No shit.
That's who the fuck I am.
Alright now we would have
been over this by now, guys,
if you were for real with me.
Alright? I'm not the fucking police.
Alright and I'm sure
as hell ain't your mama.
Now all we gotta talk about is...
my cut.
Damn... alright.
We'll be right back.
I think we should rob his ass.
Okay, look. He's pretty for real, man.
What we gonna give him?
I'm ready to rob. Fuck it. He white anyway.
Let's get this done, man.
What you think?
Let's just pay him in weed.
Alright, let's pay him in weed.
Alright.
How does seven pounds of
our best organic kale sound?
That sounds delicious.
Got yourself a deal.
Deal!
You good? My man!
We good, we good.
- Cool. Cool.
- Alright, listen.
You guys head home.
I'm gonna be hooking you up
with a guy named Conspiracy Chris.
He's gonna get you
everything you need. Okay?
Now let's go. Let's get outta
here. I got security cameras.
Oh snap!
- Pow!
- (grunts)
Hot damn
Hot damn
You been dreamin'
of this kitty
Oh, yeah, baby
It's all good
PAT: I am loving step two!
Live where you grow.
Make a nigga wanna
score a touchdown
Hot damn
That dog is fine.
Hot damn
Oh shit. Look what I found.
One of your socks?
A rabbit foot! Good luck on top of a bible.
- That gotta be double good.
- (caution sound)
I think that's double voodoo.
Whatever. I'll keep it to myself
then since you such a hater.
I don't want none of your damn rabbit foot.
Matter of fact, look.
There he go pullin' up now.
See, my luck already workin'.
- Yeah.
- You Chris?
One of you guys Patrick Hill?
- Yeah.
- Yeah, that's right.
Two Patrick Hills?
I only got one of you guys on here.
I'm Patrick Hill, man.
I would have called your ass
but Matt says you don't keep no cell phone.
No.
Feds are just lettin' people
track themselves for them.
Then they hack into your
phone, they take photos.
Sick motherfuckers.
My girl used to go through my phone.
She was working for the feds.
I think she do 'cause she
went through my phone too.
Hold on to this. I'mma...
- Don't mind if I do.
- ...start unloading.
This is amazing.
Go get to know our neighbors.
Go!
Garage.
Whoa, shit!
Oh hello, neighbor. I'm sorry. Hello.
Neighbor?
Are you shittin' me?
You been drinkin' good, huh?
(glass shatters)
Alright. Well, uh...
we just moved over here so...
You mean, my Henry sold this
house to you. (gasps) Oh!
No, no, no. Calm down.
Calm down. Calm down.
We're just leasing. We're just leasing.
Oh. Oh thank you, Jesus.
You don't like black people?
I do not like black people.
What the...
I love black people!
Okay. Okay.
(woman squealing excitedly)
DARIUS: Oh, okay. I get it. I get it.
You wanted Henry, but he left.
Okay. I could see why you would do that.
(tutting)
You young people, you think
that you know everything.
But I been hit that.
You been hit?
You people, you sure
do need a lot of light.
You people?
Oh no, the light is just
better to see you, my dear.
Oh, that is so cute.
Yeah.
You're just like a big bad wolf.
Yeah. Yeah.
- (roar)
- (roars loudly)
So um...
Uh-huh.
You're not married?
Nah.
Oh, oh good.
Nobody want to put a ring on it.
- No.
- Oh good. Okay.
Just stay right...
- Where am I staying?
- (exclaims)
What was that for?
- Don't worry about it.
- Focus!
I have to go take care of
some grown up woman biz...
I will be seeing you around,
you young BBC wolf, you.
BBC wolf? What's that?
Big... bad... chocolate... wolf.
Hey, I'm up here. I'm up here. I'm up here!
- Stay.
- What?
Hey, hey, hey!
Come back here.
DARIUS: Hey don't send
that to no blog site now.
What the hell she want?
This dick!
Man, stop playin, man.
Nah, for real! She was talking
about the man that lived here before
and tellin' me how big my
dick is and how she loved me
and how she wanna air me
out, this that and whatever.
Get out of here, man. I don't
have time for your damn games.
The bitch molested me and everything
with a camera phone and all that shit.
Talking 'bout some BBC wolf.
She tried to take advantage of me, bro!
Now I see how sexy, attractive,
Miss America people feel.
- What's a BBC wolf?
- Shit, I don't know.
Look, you're gonna have
to stay on her, man.
Keep a close watch. I'mma watch
that chick that was joggin' earlier.
Why I gotta go with the
Benjamin Button looking lady?
Handle that.
DARIUS: I'm glad we did
these windows over man.
This is much better.
Man I had no idea all this went
into growing some damn weed.
- Hey guess what?
- What's that?
I'mma call this The Mother Room.
That's dope.
Good thing we had Sleepy-Head
over here to help us set it up.
I see you, Dick. No, Dick.
That's right. I see you, Dick.
Whoa, man. What is going on with him?
Nah, maybe you shouldn't wake him up.
Put it in your mouth.
That's right. Choke on it, motherfucker.
- (snapping)
- Put it in your mouth.
Nope, put it in your mouth.
Hey! Yo yo!
What's wrong with you?
What happened?
You was having some freaky-ass dream.
Talkin' 'bout dicks and there
ain't nothing but men in the room.
That was Dick Cheney. I was
waterboarding Dick Cheney.
I got him to confess.
Confess to what?
That he killed Biggie and Pac.
You with... I told you it was like that.
You just crazy. That's what that is.
I was just proving the point that you
can get anyone to confess to anything.
Do you understand? Torture's a bitch.
Man, just get your ass up
so we can finish this room.
Oh my God, that was a crazy dream.
My ass hurts. What does that mean?
That means you need to get up and
finish The Mother Room, Conspiracy Chris.
PAT: Kick him in his ass again.
You kicked me in my ass?
CHRIS: We're good to go.
- Okay. Alright.
- Alright.
CHRIS: Oh no, no. Hold
on. We're not finished yet.
Somebody still has to go up and
connect the cables and then we're done.
What?
Why the hell you just didn't
connect it while you was up there?
DARIUS: I don't get why
we have to steal power.
It ain't like we gotta pay
for the bill to begin with.
So the power company doesn't
see a huge spike in usage.
And they tell the owners.
And the owners tell police.
Yeah, that ain't good.
I can't have my girlfriend getting fired.
Fired? That happen we going to jail, bro.
Why didn't you just connect
them while you was up there?
Oh, no, no, no. It's
your grow, it's your show.
I don't execute the
connection. I just wire it up.
PAT: Is it dangerous?
CHRIS: It's not dangerous.
I mean the power's off
so you're totally good. It's just policy.
And also stealing power is totally illegal.
So what do we have to do?
Somebody's gonna climb up this ladder...
Mhmm.
...and then you're gonna
connect the red clamp
to the cable with the black tape
and then you're gonna
connect the black clamp
to the cable with the white tape.
Got it, got it.
CHRIS: And then we'll
turn the power back on
and we're ready to get growin'.
Let's do this thing. Darius,
give me that flashlight, bro.
Alright, I'mma hold it steady
while you climb up there.
I thought you said you was
in charge of electricity.
I am but I'm scared of heights, man.
Come on. Knock it out.
Get up there. Look at ya.
Like a little monkey.
What'd you say?
Put the red clamp on the black cable,
and the black clamp on the white cable.
Alright.
- (sizzling)
- (screams)
Oh! Oh!
Move back!
CHRIS: You okay?
PAT (echoing): Shit!
D?
D?
Man, D. Don't do this to me, homie.
More like we did this to him.
You know CPR?
I know THC.
(knocking)
Hope that's not the police.
Do something... like pump his chest
or something. Get that mothafucka up.
(knocking continues)
Hi, um...
I heard a loud noise
and then I saw a big light
flash coming from this direction
- so I thought this would be...
- Here?
Yeah here... the perfect
time to come introduce myself.
Hi, I'm Madison.
Hey. Pat.
Nice to meet you.
Are you okay?
I'm fine. I'm great.
- Is everything okay?
- Yeah!
Your friend.
- You sure?
- Yeah, positive.
Well what... is your friend okay?
Oh yeah. They in love.
They been arguing all day,
he just laid down on the ground.
He was like, "I don't wanna talk to you."
Are you okay? You seem a little nervous.
'Cause you came over here
all late and I get scared.
- Okay.
- Nice meetin' you!
Another time, promise. I'll talk
to you in, like, the daytime.
I'm a daytime person.
Okay.
He's gone, man.
He gone? Gone where?
It's unbelievable, man.
He's definitely dead.
What?
Amazing.
Amazing?
Why when something tragic happen
white people try and make it sound cool?
It's not amazing that my friend is dead!
No, I mean it can be tragic and amazing.
This... It's...
I get it. I know what
you're going through, man.
I mean, this is the third one.
What'd you say?
Two...
Two other guys died the same way.
- Like this?
- Mhmm.
You said it was safe! You said it was safe!
We don't have time for this, man!
I mean, he's gonna start decomposing soon.
Decomposing?
Yeah, he's gonna start rotting...
smell up our grow house.
Our grow house? Ain't
no more damn grow house.
Alright? My friend's laying here dead.
Now shut up and let me think.
Look man. Thinking isn't gonna
bring him back to life, okay.
We gotta...
Look, his little hands are all balled up.
It's rigormortis.
No they were always balled up like that.
We gotta bury him.
Don't you touch him! Don't touch him!
- We have...
- Don't you touch him.
We're not burying him.
Okay, we'll take it slow. Let's uh...
I'm gonna say a little prayer.
For Darius.
A fallen comrade who
died too young, too short,
small in stature but...
big in spirit.
A great man.
A man who... whose heart
was much bigger than his body.
He stood for the betterment of pot for all.
This goes to you, buddy. Wherever you are.
Oh my... God?
God? Is that God? God?
What is it? Yes, my son?
Oh, Darius. My son.
Am I dead?
So that means I'm dead. I'm dead?
Now thou shall have known it was janky
when thou seeneth them jumper cables.
What the hell was you thinkin', boy?
So is that a yes? 'Cause you confused me.
Not exactly. I'm thinking about it though.
I mean, you got potential but,
you gotta stop labor trickin'
and go out there and
pursue your dreams, my son.
You know about that too?
I know about everything.
Even things that no one else knows about.
Like your big grown ass
having a gangsta mix tape.
You know, you too old for that, boy.
So you saying I should
pursue my music career?
Hell no!
There's too many people out there
downloading music illegally anyway.
And I know who all y'all are.
I'mma deal with you later. Believe that.
CHRIS: Pat.
- Pat, Pat, Pat, Pat...
- What?
- Look.
- Darius!
Darius! What happened?
I smoked,
then I blew it out,
and then he started coming back to life.
So blow some more smoke!
But I do like what you're doin'
on the front lines of this cannabis battle.
I put weed here for you to enjoy.
And for those who need it.
Keep fightin' the good fight.
Now go back, my son.
PAT: Darius!
D, get up!
I smell weed.
- That's this weed.
- Yeah!
I brought him back to life!
You back, man! You back!
Aw shit! We're back in business.
Is that all that matters to you? Business?
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
Okay.
I'm just glad you're okay,
man. You're my friend.
Oh man! D!
Rabbit's foot did it again.
You gonna believe.
I guess it did, man.
- It did.
- I really think it was the weed.
- So did it work?
- The rabbit's foot?
No. The electricity.
I forgot to tell you that after
you hit that main switch off,
there's a little bit of
zip left in the lines.
I went ahead and connected those wires
so that that doesn't happen again.
Thank you now.
Yeah, no problem.
So I guess we back on track.
Don't do that.
You sure you good?
A little.
Alright that's good, man. Okay.
Step five: Electricity, lights,
and fan installations. Done.
Step six: Feeding systems,
reservoirs, and tubing connected.
Done.
All we gotta do now is we
gotta set up the filters,
then we gotta pick up the
plants and bring 'em in.
When you guys come here in the morning
we should be all up and running.
Alright. Lemme hit that blunt.
I think I need that right now.
My friend was just dead and now he's back.
Y'know, life is good!
I wouldn't be mad if I saw
another jumper cable ever again in my life.
Shit!
You didn't crank that shit up, did you?
No, not yet. Is it working?
If I... wait till I say crank it up.
- Now?
- Hold on!
Ain't feelin' to get electrocuted again.
Alright try it now.
(engine starts)
Yes! Thank you, baby!
- Finally!
- Can I do it?
- Yes.
- Can I do it?
Stop it.
Alright I'm about to head
over to the Bel-Air house
and get started on this work.
Okay listen, I got all that stuff
that you checked off on the list
but my boss wants to know
like what's the estimated time
you think that the house is gonna be ready?
Well we just finished doing the
general cleanup and shit, so...
I guess once the sink come in
we can get started with everything else.
But that's gonna take about ten weeks.
Ten weeks? Baby that's a long time!
Shit gotta get shipped in,
and mailed in, that take about...
That's six weeks in itself.
- God. Alright well I'll let him know.
- (phone buzzes)
It should be done in mid-April though.
I am so happy you fixed
the van for me, baby.
What you gonna do for it though?
Oh God. You know it's going to
help a special person, right?
I know that.
- Alright.
- You are so amazing.
Listen, I'm gonna have somebody
come later and pick up the van.
- Alright?
- Alright cool.
I gotta go to the... office real
quick for a fast meeting at work.
Bye baby. Gotta go.
Well if it isn't ratchet and the tramp.
Your booty getting bigger.
You just gonna ignore my phone call, nigga?
Give me a ride, man.
PAT: Fuck them, we ain't scared of him.
Go, nigga!
Keep runnin! Keep runnin!
- You good, man.
- Hurry up, man.
- We lost them niggas.
- No we didn't.
We were in a high speed
chase with a wheelchair.
He almost caught us, man.
He almost caught you.
So what if he woulda jumped on us, man?
You weren't gonna help me?
You want me to jump on a
handicapped dude with you?
Ain't nothing wrong with him, man.
Anyway, I seen you get your
little labor trickin' kiss.
You know what you can kiss?
My whole ass.
Oh shit there, mammy. One of
your lyrics from your mix-tape.
Which one?
I told you 'bout kissin'
But you wouldn't listen
Yeah, I remember that shit.
Look man, last night when you was dead,
that bad chick we seen
jogging came by the crib.
Rang the doorbell. Said
she heard an explosion.
What'd you do? You ain't...
What you talking 'bout?
You ain't bust none.
I didn't, man. What I look like?
Smashin' some random hot chick
while my boy layin' on the ground dead.
- A pimp?
- Yeah you right.
Oh by the way, your boy
Chris picked up clones.
Meetin' us at the crib right now.
Okay, all the timers are
set to eighteen hours.
Light timers and the food timers set, too.
PAT: Cool.
You're not gonna need that pamphlet.
Nah he does. He's growin' weed for noobs.
And it's symbolic. A'ight?
Step seven: The plants are all in.
Ready, set, grow!
Here we go!
I heat up
I can't cool down
Got me spinnin'
around and round
Round and round
Around it goes
Where it stops, nobody knows
Everytime you call my name
I heat up like
a burning flame
Burning flame
Full of desire
Kiss me baby, let
the fire get higher
- (mouthing)
- Abra Abracadabra
I wanna reach
out and grab ya
Abra Abracadabra
Abracadabra
You make me hot,
you make me sigh
My penis is
bigger than yours
My penis is
bigger than yours
Especially Chris, my
dick bigger than yours
My penis is big
Hey yo! Yo yo! Wake up, man.
There's something growin' on the plants.
Those are called buds.
We're gonna smoke them eventually.
I know what that is, but this
some gray moldy type shit.
Look.
That's mold.
Shit.
I just told you that was
mold, man. What the...
Alright, I'm gonna go to the
truck and get a sulfur burner.
Good morning.
So what made all that mold grow?
That's just what happens
when the pH levels get crazy.
Gotta keep your eye on it.
That gotta be tough when
you sleep all the time, huh?
What are you talking 'bout?
Uh, my grandma told me back in
the day, like if you pee on it
that'll make all the mold go.
Your grandma grew weed?
- Hey!
- Doesn't work.
Everything that you put on
the plants is what you smoke.
Don't do that.
Do you pee with your pants down?
How else do you pee? Don't
y'all pee with y'all pants down?
That's why you have a zipper.
That's not a thing that normal people do.
What's that smell?
Well the sulfur has a funny smell to it.
Pussy has a funny smell.
That shit stink.
You'll get used to it.
Pull your pants up.
(knocking)
- PAT: Who the hell is that?
- I don't know. I'mma go check.
Nuh-uh.
You stay here. I got it. Don't pee on it!
You'll get used to the smell.
Let's go check on the other plants.
- Can I pee in there?
- No.
Hey neighbor! How you doin'?
Hi.
Look, I just wanted to come back here
and tell you how rude you were to me.
- Come on.
- You slammed the door in my face,
you didn't invite me in,
and honestly, I was just
being a concerned neighbor.
Okay, I'm sorry.
Ja...
- Madison.
- Madison!
- I'm sorry, Madison.
- You forgot.
Nah, I didn't forget!
It's okay.
Madison, it was a crazy night.
- I saw that you had a crazy...
- Crazy night.
...situation going on back there.
Yeah it was wild back
there. But it's done now.
- See?
- Are they okay?
Everybody's great, yeah.
- Okay.
- Everybody's good.
I'm Pat.
Yeah, you said that.
Remember? The other night?
- That's what you did to me.
- Oh.
I do that... we do that.
Why are you such a nervous person?
You're either really nervous naturally,
or you're hiding something
terrible in this house.
Just because you think we crazy,
I'm gonna invite you in.
Are you sure?
I'm sure.
Are you good?
Yeah. As normal as I can be.
- Okay.
- Alright.
This is... this is
really nice. I like this.
It is. It's nice.
In here. Wonderful.
This is beautiful though. I love it.
Yes it is beautiful.
Sorry.
I'm talkin' about the house.
Pat! Oh!
My bad. I didn't know we had company.
Oh.
- Hey.
- Hello.
- Hi.
- How you doin'?
I think I met you or saw
you rather the other day.
Oh, for real? Where?
Well it looked like you were
getting mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
It was. I was getting
mouth-to-mouth resuscitation.
He has this medical condition
that he can only be revived
by a man with a beard.
Hey, Chris needs you upstairs
to help him out with something.
- Can you handle that?
- For real?
Can you handle that? The
white man needs the black man.
- Go on up there.
- I'll be right back. Alright?
Take your time.
(mouthing)
What's up, I'm Darius.
I'm Madison.
You can call me Dah-rius.
(doorbell ringing, knocking)
What the hell is goin' on?
Can you wait one second?
- Okay.
- Just one second. I'll be...
(doorbell ringing
frantically, knocking quickly)
Hey, boo. What you need?
What do I need? Boy get out
the way. This ain't your house.
What you doing?
Oh.
Who the hell is this bitch?
Huh? Got on her little
workout gear and shit?
What the hell's going
on? Y'all workin' out?
Um, excuse me.
Do I look like I workout? Look at me!
I knew it! Alright, every
man is a shady-ass cheater!
Alright?
That is such a blanket statement to make.
You can't just say every man is a...
Bitch, I don't need your two cents, okay?
I know how niggas are.
- Especially this one.
- Oh.
What the fuck, bitch? I'm Grown Gangsta!
Oh, you a gangsta, huh? You gangsta?
You can't be rollin'
up in here acting all...
I will do whatever the hell
I wanna do up in this house.
- Okay?
- Look, you need to calm down.
Okay, you know what? It
was really nice to meet you.
Yeah you better be going before
I have to put hands on you.
Stop, don't do that. Calm down.
You better watch out.
Tell Pat I said goodbye.
- Bye, bitch!
- Leave before you die.
- Bye!
- Calm your ass down.
Why you acting like...
Ah, no you didn't!
- Alright.
- What?
What is you tripping about?
...cause I know there some
other bitches up in here!
Ain't nobody up in here.
You better watch out!
- Calm down! Calm down!
- Where you at?
Come here! Come here!
Don't play with me.
You better let go of me!
- Stop. Stop!
- I know you got a bitch in here.
Stop! Stop! Stop!
I got a side boo too.
What? I'm doin' the job...
Oh my God.
For real?
Well this my side bitch. You happy?
I can't believe them people got evicted
and left all their weed here.
Got me taking care of
this weed they left here.
Ain't that stupid?
Oh, so you must think I'm stupid.
It's cool. 'Cause you
gonna meet my side boo.
Make sure she doesn't call the police!
- I got you.
- You got a side boo?
Hold up! I was gonna tell you!
When? Huh? After you smoked
it all? After you sold it?
Huh? After a fucking police raid?
You wasn't gonna tell me shit.
- Calm down!
- You was gonna tell me
'bout that bitch too, huh?
- Huh? What bitch?
- Oh, "huh"! "Huh"!
That's what I thought.
Fuck you Darius!
Alright? Fuck you!
I'mma show you what it's like when you
bring some bitch up into my people's house.
Then you wanna start some grow house?
And you wasn't gonna cut me in?
It's not like that if you listen...
You know what? It's over.
Okay. I'mma show you what it's like
when you play games with me.
And let me tell you something,
you really was only my side boo anyways.
Huh? What did you say?
I think she said that
you were her side boo.
Man, shut the fuck up.
- Hey man.
- You asked.
Look, fuck that.
What now?
- She'll be back.
- Does she own a gun?
Nah, nah. I took all of the bullets.
But she owns a gun?
Hey! Hey baby!
Make sure she really left.
Man, I don't know what's
going on with the filter.
Something's wrong, man.
It should be sucking out
the heat along with the weed
and the sulfur smell.
Man, for real. It is
hot as shit in here, man!
This how I know I could never be a slave.
Man, I have to be a house nigga.
Fuck that outside shit good.
And why would the tenants take
the air condition unit anyway?
How else you gonna have a grow room?
That's so disrespectful, man.
I'm a Buddhist, man. I'm a Buddhist.
I need to be on top of a mountain,
the cool breeze,
leaves blowing in the wind...
I think I'm blacking out.
I'm gonna go open the front door.
Let a little heat out.
Yeah that's a good idea.
Tell the guys that I'll be back.
Yeah, uh-huh. You better get goin!
That's what I thought.
There you go, baby.
Mm-hnmm! I'm back. Now what?
Oh don't look shocked, okay?
'Cause I told your lame
ass I was coming back.
Listen, why the hell
is it so hot up in here?
What you doin' here with him?
Oh no. The question is
what was I doing with you.
PAT: Hey! Hey!
What's going on, baby?
Oh you 'bout to find out. Alright?
And I told your ass to
stop calling me baby.
So you think you just
gonna drive off without me?
And that's the end of the story?
- Keep the gun on him.
- Oh no, I got him.
Stop waving that goddamn
gun like that. Put it down!
Shut the fuck up. She put the gun
wherever I say she put the gun.
Look...
what's up, Reg? What you need?
What do I need?
He's my man, fool.
He got more authority in here than you do.
- Reg your man now?
- Yeah.
Look, man. I don't know
what she told you about me.
Oh, now he don't know what I done told...
This is what she told me.
There's two bitch-ass niggas...
- Yup, yup!
- ...with little-ass hands
that was trying to cut her out
of her portion of the weed money.
- The money? The weed money?
- Yup.
And I said, "Wait a minute,
that sounds familiar".
'Cause you know that shit immoral.
You always trying to fuck somebody
out of what's rightfully theirs.
What the fuck?
- You tryin' to fuck her out her weed money?
- Yup.
You tried to fuck me out of walking.
I go to get us some weed
and while I'm gone somebody shoots you?
It ain't my fault you in
the goddamn wheelchair.
You say wheelchair again,
I'll roll this motherfucker
into your ass cavity.
Man, you just saying that 'cause you
know I ain't gonna do nothing to you
'cause you sittin' in that
goddamn wheelchair. Man, fuck it.
Oh no, baby!
Oh, get him!
- (grunting)
- (indistinct shouting)
REG: Now we're here. Oh yeah!
- Get this shit off me!
- TERRI: Get up baby! Don't let his little ass...
Hey stay your ass over there!
I'mma get you!
Hold his... Stop that!
What's wrong with you?
I could shoot him right now, baby.
REG: One more wiggle!
TERRI: Oh!
(panting)
Alright. Alright. That's enough.
Whoo!
Let's make a deal.
Now let's talk business, nigga.
Yo!
(indistinct shouting)
(laughing)
What happened? Shit!
Shit!
What happened?
Oh man.
You was giving it to Reg's ass, man!
A left, a right.
You was Darius Mayweather
in this mothafucka.
Did I win?
Nah, man.
He got you on the floor. That was it.
Where they go?
They in the other room.
I'm fuckin' with you! I'm fuckin'
with you! I'm fuckin' with you!
They left, man.
They better have left.
Yeah they got outta here.
Good news and bad news.
Bad news, I had to cut
that nigga in on a deal.
Good news is, you and
Reg, that shit squashed.
Hold up, so you let him roll on us?
You let him roll over on you.
He rolled you left, he rolled you right.
That man is strong from the
waist up, man. You don't know.
He was strong from the hips up.
He fucking your girl, man.
Whatever, man. She'll fuck anything.
I don't even fuck with
her ragged ass. No way.
Anyway, I promised to get him
three pounds as a wedding gift.
Wedding gift? What the
fuck? They getting married?
Got your ass. You care!
No, I don't care.
Look at your caring ass, all concerned.
I wish them the best, I
mean, if that's what he want.
Hey, you never know.
You care. Well showing
how much we're growing
so I said three pounds.
Ain't like Reg can go upstairs and check.
We ain't getting no ramp
up in this mothafucka
so you go take more of
our weed, mothafucka.
You a vulture, bro.
I don't care, I mean I wish them the best.
(sniffing)
You smell something?
- (smoke alarm blaring)
- Fire! Fire!
Fire! Fire!
Oh shit! Oh shit!
Get something! Get something! All my weed!
(Darius screaming)
Hurry up!
Oh fuck, man!
Shit! Damn!
(sirens wailing)
Oh shit. Oh shit. You hear that?
- That's the fire department.
- Damn, man!
They gonna wanna come in and check around!
DARIUS: Just tell them we got
everything under control, man!
PAT: I can't do that shit. They
gotta come in. They gotta check it.
- It's they policy!
- Well that can't happen.
Oh man, they gonna come in,
they gonna see what we've been doing.
They gonna call the fucking police, man.
Then you going to jail!
I ain't going to jail,
I'm snitching on you.
Damn!
Is there a fire?
Please tell me my BBC wolf is okay!
Everything is good. Everything is good.
Bring the hose.
Hose? No, no! No need for a hose!
Right there.
Okay.
So how'd the trashcan catch fire?
(sniffing)
Is that the smell of a leafy substance
resembling that of marijuana?
You have a great nose.
And also amazing eyes.
Well what happened was...
we're legal. This is a marijuana card.
Why I got this is because of uh...
- A lack of appetite!
- Lack of appetite.
And what happened was I was smoking
and when I put my weed out
I forgot to put it all the
way out. It started a fire.
FIREMAN: Well you can never be too
sure those things are fully out.
Next time break it down into
smaller pieces before you roll it.
- Will do.
- Mhmm.
(mouthing)
We're all good here.
He smoke...
He is dreamy.
You're amazing!
How did you think... You thought of this?
How did you do that, man?
Double lucky blessings.
Don't you start with that again, man.
I don't care how you came
up with it. It's brilliant.
Alright?
- Now look.
- What's up?
Matt said he gonna send
somebody here tomorrow
to check out them damn filters.
I just hope the weed last overnight.
Ah!
Did you just say, "I hope
the weed lasts overnight"?
DARIUS: Nah, your hearing aid's messing up.
I said I hope we last overnight.
- We last overnight.
- Us.
Did you also say... that someone
was coming to fix the filters?
- Heat filters.
- Heat filters.
Oh no. Oh no.
And all those lights that you
hauled off of the hydro truck.
Maybe I think I should
just call Henry's people.
And maybe I'm gonna call the cops
and I'm just gonna tell them
that they should walk around...
Oh come on, man!
I am disappointed!
- What?
- You would lie to me, BBC?
Who's BBC?
- That's me.
- BBC?
A big black...
- ...chocolate.
- Chocolate.
- Wolf.
- Wolf.
Mmm!
You know, I did not get to
be this old by being dumb.
I think it is time we...
cut the crap!
And we just get down to business!
- Business?
- Bid-ness!
See, I tried to tell you.
See I can act as if...
I don't know anything's going on.
I think you know where this is going.
Oh, okay. I get it.
What is it going to take
for you not to know anything?
You.
- What?
- You.
Wait, wait, listen. Listen
to me. Listen to me. Look up.
We have a lot of money.
We have a lot of weed.
I don't need your money.
I got a lot of money.
And I don't smoke weed. I drink.
I need a hit of that.
Deal!
Deal?
We'll take it.
- My house.
- Your house?
We'll be at my house.
Yeah, BBC. Go and handle that.
What the fuck? So I save your
ass and you give my ass away?
- What type of shit...
- Handle that.
(woman squealing happily)
MAN: So I just set the
ventilation system back on.
You guys feel better now?
Oh yeah. I feel much better.
As a matter of fact, I'm a
little cold but I like it.
How you feel, D?
Like a rape victim.
Like somebody took something from a nigga.
You feel like a pimp now?
Do I owe you some money?
If I had to I would take
one for the team too.
Nigga, I took one for the whole league!
Oh man. I'm so glad you guys made it.
I thought you were goners.
I got out just in time to
see your old lady pull up.
Bro, you don't wanna know
what happened. Trust me.
He ain't gonna tell you.
You guys, if I could give you a sitrep?
Give us what?
A sitrep. A situation report.
You know. A status of operation.
Aw shit. Don't you come with this
conspiracy shit like this nigga.
What do you mean?
The bad news is that you guys
did lose the one room to the fire.
But the good news is that I
checked up on all the other
six rooms and they're
all according to plan.
Yeah well now we just need to
clip some of these big water leaves
'cause they're blocking direct light.
Well let's go ahead and
get started on this room.
Get all those old plants out there
and paint the room up again.
Let's do it.
(sad music plays)
(hard metal music plays)
Seriously?
I'll do anything
you want me to
Do
I'm getting off
because I'm being used
By you
We could do anything
you wanted to
Do
We could do anything
you wanted to
(insects buzzing)
Get up, get ready
Ooh, get up, get ready
Ooh, get up, get ready
Be ready
Be ready for a heart attack
- (water dripping)
- Heart attack
Guys. Guys, wake up!
- What's up, Chris?
- Guys, wake up!
What up, man?
CHRIS: We got a leak.
We got a what?
Wake up! Come on, wake up!
Oh shit!
I gotta take a leak.
(alarm beeping)
Shit.
That's not gonna get the job done.
Every little bit counts!
What the hell is you doing?
You said every little bit counts.
Oh damn!
Sorry, I left the damn
water timer on manual.
What's that smell?
Smells like chemicals.
Smells like chemicals.
Just smells like weed and spray to me.
Spray?
There was some flies all on the weed
so I went on ahead and
sprayed the bug spray on it.
What kind of bug spray?
The bug spray I saw in
the garage. The Bugged Out.
You sprayed... You sprayed
all of this with Bug Out?
No. Just this room.
Thank God.
Why, what's wrong?
All of the plants in this room are ruined.
Really?
- What? Wait.
- Yeah, really.
All these plants we have
to throw in the trash.
Why would you do that?
I was just trying to help!
And why the hell would
you listen to me anyway?
I ain't got no high school education.
Darius!
Okay.
He doesn't have a high school education?
No he don't. He don't have...
That's sad. But this
is fucked. We're fucked.
What, you can't fix it? So
all this goes in the trash?
CHRIS: That's it. We're
in the harvest phase now.
Boys, we got one week left
until the finish line.
Oh that's crazy. I didn't realize
till just now what day that was.
- The 20th.
- It's the 20th.
Yeah.
Like... it's trippy, right?
What's trippy? It's the 20th. What?
It's 4-20. That's like the weed holiday.
Yeah.
Well fire it up then!
Yeah let's fire it up. I'm out.
I'm out.
So we got a grow room with no weed?
That's like having a strip club...
with no strippers.
(breathes shakily)
Are you okay?
Give me a second. Give me a second.
Ain't no Bugged Out ever hurt nobody.
Shit.
Ain't about to waste all this good weed
that I raised from babies.
The hell they think I am? A deadbeat dad?
I'm there for my kids.
Whoa, whoa. Hey, hey, hey!
Gimme the scissors.
Damn!
Why we can't just snatch 'em up right now?
'Cause that's like pedophilia,
man. These are babies.
That's like touching little babies.
I wouldn't go that damn far.
That's what it is, man.
Come on.
Alright, maybe we can take
one off of like the tippy top
'cause they matured a little bit more.
Yes! Lord, forgive us
for touching the babies.
(indistinct shouting)
- What was that?
- God?
That wasn't God. That
was coming from outside.
Damn.
My weed man got the hookup
Rolling up another pound
every time you look up
Big ass joints, them ones
that leave you shook up
So much weight that
now I'm doing kush-ups
Kush ups, 'bout to
roll a whole book up
Looking for me, I was at
the crib doing kush ups
Kush ups, 'bout to
roll a whole book up
Looking for me, I
was at the crib doing
Darius!
Darius! What the hell is you doing, man?
I love this Bugged Out!
This Bugged Out is wonderful!
CHRIS: He say Bugged Out?
Oh shit, man. I told him
to throw that weed away
but he smoked the Bugged Out weed.
All that chemical shit,
man. That's like PCP.
Darius, come over here right now!
Yo, who are you? Are you his hype man?
Are you his pimp? Are you his bitch?
Then shut the fuck up
and let him get turnt up.
Tai-Bo, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1
Working out, chiefin' up
Creepin' up, keepin' up
Say ho!
- Ho!
- Ho!
Say ho! Ho!
Ho! Ho!
D! Would you stop, please?
- PCP, you drawing too much attention. What's wrong...
- Baby!
Okay, what is going on?
- I got you baby.
- Pull!
With that?
Yeah with that. That right there.
That's a rap concert.
A rap concert?
Wow, okay.
Yo, yo!
This is my first and probably my last.
- BBC! BBC! Ho! Baby...
- Give it up!
Oh my god. Mrs. Gilliam.
We trying to change some
things in the community.
It's kinda dead around here
and I figure we liven it up.
As much as I appreciate
the free entertainment,
it's amazing, I'm really proud of you guys,
but the property value
is going down as we speak.
So, could you guys just
keep it down a little bit?
I really would appreciate that. Thank you.
Mrs. Gilliam! Mrs Gilliam!
Oh my God.
Man, I just don't get how
the hell I get out there
in the middle of the driveway like that.
And what the hell I'm doing
with this Shake Weight?
That weed worked for you, man.
I mean, if that's what all rap
music is like I'm a rap fan.
Look, do not encourage his ass.
I think I can get into it.
You felt it? Was it that good?
What you was doing with the Shake
Weight is bugging the fuck out.
You jeopardized this whole grow, man.
Do not bring unwanted
attention to your grow house.
And that shit was unwanted.
You're right. I'm sorry. My fault.
I mean, first things first. We
have to finish this harvest, guys.
Then we can give everybody
they cut. Can't wait to do that.
Hey look at the bright side. At
least we had a successful grow.
No.
Sort of. If you wanna call it that.
Hey, why Snoop ain't called me yet?
Guys, we still have stuff
left to do here, so...
Speaking of Snoop... hit
him up, and hit your girl...
- ...ex-girl...
- Right.
and let 'em know everything be
ready for the payout on the 20th.
This damn house will be done by then too.
Hey, what time is everybody
supposed to show up?
Well I told everybody around 4:00.
That way they have they weed around 4:20.
Oh that's trippy. I like it.
It's a good idea we didn't
dry that weed all the way.
The more it weigh, the less we pay.
Think about all the weed we lost, man.
The fire.
The mold.
The flood!
The Bugged Out.
Most of all, all the
unexpected partners we acquired.
Matter of fact I had
to pay Mrs. Gilliam off.
That should account for everything.
She's kinda sexy for
her age. Is she flexible?
Depends.
Depends on what?
No it depends on if she's wearing
Depends 'cause when she ain't...
- What does that have...
- Listen!
Whatever happened, happened, man.
We lose, we lose. Ain't
no going back on it, man.
I don't know about that.
Why don't we try to call Snoop back up?
Try to re-un-negotiate
the deal?
Re-un-negotiate?
You know what, he was cool as
hell about this whole thing.
He ain't called us one time. Give it a try!
Yeah, let me hit him up.
You know, what he gonna say?
Tell him we took a...
Hello? Oh, it's voicemail.
...paper right now.
But if this is about my
paper, leave me a message
and I'll get back at you.
Yeah, um... Let's just
talk to him man-to-man.
What about Matt's piece?
I mean, we gotta get paid.
Come on, man!
Of course we gonna take care of you, bro.
You're a real nigga. I
fucked with you my nigga.
I don't know what that means but
I really enjoyed this experience.
It was good working with you people.
You people? The fuck you
mean by "You people," bro?
Huh?
I just meant like you
people, like my people.
You're my people... not my people.
What the fuck you mean
by "Your people," man?
I don't mean like I own...
What the fuck you mean "You own"?
- No I just meant we're all people.
- (doorbell rings)
What you mean, man? Huh?
I really don't care. I'm mixed.
I'm gonna get the doorbell.
I'm not mixed, bro.
I didn't mean anything.
What you mean about
you ain't mean anything?
That's exactly what it sounds like.
What the fuck you mean "exactly" though?
I'm sorry.
PAT: What the fuck you
mean by you sorry, bro?
It means I apologize.
I'll get the weed.
Here it is.
Thank you, brotha.
A'ight. Everybody gonna get they
share as soon as Snoop gets here.
Yeah, that's the plan, we sticking to it.
Listen, if you really think
Snoop is about to come here
to pick up some weed, you'sa lame.
(doorbell rings)
- What's that?
- I'll get the door.
Wonder who that could be.
See? Shut the fuck up, boo.
Well happy 4-20 everybody.
What's up, Snoop.
Hey, what's up, Nephew.
- Snoop!
- Grown Gangsta.
Hi, Snoop.
Well hello, sunshine.
- Snoop?
- Mhmm?
Can me and Darius holla at
you in the kitchen right quick?
Oh man, whatever you like,
man. Show me where to get there.
"Hi, Snoop."
What?
Snoop's supposed to walk in, I'm supposed
to act like I don't know who Snoop is?
Bitch, this ain't Walmart.
He don't need no greeter.
Want something to drink, man?
Turkey sandwich?
You said we had some tuna... We
have some tuna left. Want some tuna?
No, no, no. I just want
my shit. Where my weed at?
Oh.
So we getting right
down to it. Um, Snoop...
...we agreed on half, right?
Yeah. That's what I'm
leaving with. Half, right?
TERRI: Okay but that's Snoop Dogg.
I'm just supposed to say nothing?
You supposed to play your position.
Why are you always tripping?
Bitch, I can't trip.
I know we agreed on half, but things
ain't go how we thought they'd go.
We was talking 'bout half and third,
I'm thinkin' more like the third, y'know.
Grown Gangsta.
I'm mothafuckin'
disappointed with you, nigga.
Nah, nah. What he said he was just
thinking about the third, Snoop.
Y'know, man. But he
gonna keep it one hundred.
'Cause Grown Gangsta say you always
keep it one hundred with him, man.
- Day one.
- We really just wanted
to show you the kitchen, man.
Yeah, you ain't even know
this was a refrigerator.
See? We got you.
Okay well then get back to the living room.
PAT: Alright, Chris. Let's break it up.
Snoop, the take was twenty pounds.
That entitles you to ten, bro.
Oh man.
It is so beautiful doing
business with y'all, man.
It's a treat when playas meet.
Grown Gangsta, that
mix-tape, I'm fuckin' with you
but you better thank this nigga Pat, man.
He really got your back,
man. He give a fuck about you.
Yeah.
I'm outta here. Let's roll.
- Bye Snoop!
- Alright baby.
PAT: Chris.
Seven pounds over there for you, brother.
- Oh, for real?
- Wait, nuh-uh.
For real nothing. Seven pounds from where?
Yeah wait. Hold up.
How'd you come up with that?
That ain't adding up, homeboy.
Okay, all the equipment, the setup, him
dealing with the grow house day to day,
that's seven pounds right there, homie.
- Appreciate you.
- It's been fun, man.
If we do this again maybe you guys
will end up with something, y'know?
Ha!
So... what about ours?
Terri and Reg.
Mhmm.
Three pounds.
DARIUS: Not a seed more.
I hope you got your shit outta here
because I'm about to lock
it up. Give me the keys.
Listen, while you working on the house,
go on ahead and throw
in some ratchet locks.
And work on your feet.
And his toenails. Then on his fingers.
Goodbye.
Damn.
Whoo!
Damn.
I feel like LeBron right
before he won the big one, man.
We was so close!
Look at this.
Says right here,
"In the end, the happiest day
of your grow is after step ten."
Do I look happy?
What the hell is you smiling 'bout?
All that shit we been through
and all you got to show for
it is that one damn blunt.
Not exactly.
What?
We still got two pounds
we didn't know we had.
How's that? We weighed it all out.
We still had that Bugged Out in the garage.
I ain't smokin' that.
I ain't either.
Huh?
Oh! You switched...
You happy now, ain't you?
Hell yeah I'm happy!
I know you is.
You a smart mothafucka, man!
Hey, man, I learned from the best, bro.
We learned from each other, bro.
- My man.
- Let me hit that. Let me hit that.
- Nope.
- Let me hit that.
Wow, you guys look happy.
Actually it's our last day
disturbing your neighborhood.
We moving out.
Mhmm. So the crop must be done.
Don't think that because I
don't get out the house much
that I don't know what you
guys have going on over here.
Uh-huh.
I smoke too sometimes.
Are you kidding me? I had no idea.
- (door opens)
- DARIUS: Uh-oh.
Where we goin?
Wanna hit it?
(chuckles)
So, question. What we gonna call it?
I got the perfect name.
PAT: What?
Abracadabra.
- Oh my god.
- Abracadabra?
Abracadabra.
I like it though. It's like magic, huh?
I like it too. It has a little ring to it.
Because we ain't have no weed
and you made some appear
out of no-damn-where.
Happy 4-20!
Happy 4-20, bro.
- Happy 4-20.
- Hell yeah.
- Hold up.
- Who's that?
Mrs. Gilliam, man.
Shit, she's sayin...
BBC?
"Hey, don't forget about me."
- (phone buzzes)
- Is that a picture?
- MADISON: What is BBC?
- Oh! Oh!
Get my runnin' shoes! Get my runnin' shoes!
- Bye, bitch!
- Go get my runnin' shoes!
Now I'm tripping!
Whoa! I'm trying to charge up turbo boost.
Oh shit!
Shit!
Oh shit!
Baby, get your running shoes on there!
Oh! Kill 'em with
the shoulders
Kill 'em with the shoulders
Kill 'em with the shoulders
Kill 'em with the shoulders
Nigga, I can hear him!
- Come on, man.
- Hey, what?
(laughing)
Kill 'em with the shoulders
- For real?
- Yeah, go on.
- For your boy?
- Take it!
You a real nigga, man.
That's what my girlfriends call me.
You can do it like that
or you can do it like this
You ain't got no money.
Yo, let me see the rope
print around your neck.
God damn.
Say that again.
This nigga said "Let me see
the rope print." God damn.
Say that again.
The rope print around your neck.
Here we go, this that shit
That'll fill the whole
block and light it up
There's one condition with that money, now.
What's that?
Damn, I forgot what the condition was.
Hit the blunt again!
'Cause I'ma get this off,
Don't get too close
'cause I set this off
And take my crew
and do what we do,
And make a little
dance for you
One, two, three, four
To all the party people
When I make that
sound, woo woo
Everybody breaks it down
Look back at it, stand tall
Little Duval, Big Snoop Dogg
Kill 'em with the Roller,
'Nuff said, now kill
'em with the shoulders
Kill 'em with the shoulders
Kill 'em with the shoulders
Kill 'em with the shoulders
Kill 'em with the shoulders
Yeah, kill 'em
with the shoulders
Look back now, kill
'em with the shoulders
Kill 'em with the shoulders
Drop it down, now kill
'em with the shoulders
Kill 'em with the shoulders
Pick it up, now kill
'em with the shoulders
Kill 'em with the shoulders
Everybody in this bitch,
kill 'em with the shoulders
Shoulders, shoulders
Yeah
It's not hard to do
We been doing this
shit for a long time
Ay, Lil Duval
You know what it is nigga
Hahaha
Now kill em with
the shoulders
Kill 'em with the shoulders
Kill 'em with the shoulders
Kill 'em with the shoulders
You gotta kill 'em
with the shoulders
Kill 'em with the shoulders
Kill 'em with the shoulders
You gotta kill 'em
with the shoulders
Kill 'em with the shoulders
Kill 'em with the shoulders
Kill 'em with the shoulders
Kill 'em with the shoulders
Yeah
Yeah, you know,
The streets been asking
for me to put something out
since I put that
first mix-tape out.
But I decided...
to let you fucked niggas
breathe for a while.
But now...
it's time to apply pressure
on you fucked niggas neck.
Yeah.
You know what it is.
Grown Gangsta in this mothafucka.
Huh? What? Nigga?
I'm a grown ass gangsta
I'm a grown ass
gangsta, nigga
I'm a grown ass gangsta
You scared nigga ain't ya
I'm a grown ass gangsta
I'm a grown ass
gangsta, nigga
I'm a grown ass gangsta
You scared nigga ain't ya
Nic nac pattywhack I
fucked your mama way back
Now I got that weed sack
Hit me if you need that
Abracadabra
Know you gotta have the
Bad bitch 'cause the other
bullshit don't matter
All that garbage-ass
weed that you smokin on
Smellin like cologne mixed
with shit and you chokin long
- (choking)
- Talkin bout
You aight?
Yo bro, you aight?
You aight?
Look at you You
almost dead, homie
You 'bout to die, homie
You choked on all that weed
and still ain't high, homie
Don't call me for no mess
on the ground no ma'am
You must not know who I am
I'm Grown Gangsta
I'm the man
Bitch!
I'm a grown ass gangsta
I'm a grown ass
gangsta, nigga
I'm a grown ass gangsta
You scared nigga ain't ya
I'm a grown ass gangsta
I'm a grown ass
gangsta, nigga
I'm a grown ass gangsta
You scared nigga ain't ya