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Guinevere (1999)
These photographs of me
were taken when I was 21 years old. They were shot on Plus X with a 105-millimeter lens on an Nikon F-2, developed normal, two stops overexposed. I like this one a lot. The F-2 was lost forever to a pawn shop in Los Angeles four years ago. The photographer lived in San Francisco up until last week. He was the worst man I ever met. Or maybe the best. I'm still not sure. If you're supposed to learn from your mistakes, then he was the best mistake I ever made. He was my most spectacular and cherished fuckup, and I was his Guinevere, whatever that means. ## Tell me ## ## Why you keep foolin' little coquette ## ## Makin' fun of the world ## Harper, you look wonderful. - Isn't your sister a beautiful bride? - She really is. Now, did I hear correctly? Harvard law in the fall? - That's right, yeah. - We have to talk. I'm an alum, you know. Harper, congrats. I just heard about Harvard. Our John's in law school there. - Hey, weren't you engaged toJeremy? - ## Someday ## - ## You'll fall in love like I fell in love with you ## - You were, weren't you? ## Maybe someone you love ## ## Will just be foolin' ## ## And when you're all alone ## ## With only regrets ## ## You'll find, little coquette ## ## I love you ## - Sorry. - That's all right. You gonna stop hiding in here anytime soon? I'm not hiding. Your father and sister have been upstairs forever. - I cannot believe they'd pull this Oedipal crap today. - What do you want me to do? We have 300 fucking guests here. Just tell them to knock off the Greek tragedy and get their asses down here. And I can't find the photographer. Find them. Could you knock? I did. Mom is freaking out down there. Is she crying? No, she feels fat. Sue, you're not fat. Oh. What's so funny? It's nothing. - It's nothing. I told them no one goes to Paris in August. Everything's closed. But they're young and dumb. They don't care about the Musee Picasso anyway. Excuse me. Well? Yeah. Excuse me. Have you seen the wedding photographer? H-Have you seen the wedding photographer? - Sorry. Canape? - Thank you. Damn it. Fuck you. Fuck you. It's my life. Fuck you. Fuck you. I don't care. - Fuck you -- - I know that song. Ever try singing it really loud? No. You should do it sometime. Opens up all kinds of possibilities. Having trouble with that? - My thumbs are too small. - Let me see. Tiny. There you go, Guinevere. My name's Harper. I'm Connie. That's tricky with champagne. Maybe you'd, uh, prefer a little of this? I'm usually not much of a drinker. No, neither am I. You're the wedding photographer. Today I'm a wedding photographer. It's a transformation that only seems to occur when the rent is due. Suddenly I find myself in a Pacific Heights mansion wearing a secondhand tux, surrounded by women in chiffon. Um... maybe -- maybe this sounds rude -- - Would it be possible for you not to take my picture? - Why? I don't like to be looked at. It's a little late for that. Good. Mrs. Sloane, could I ask you to move in slightly, please? Thank you. Bride, turn your body slightly in for me. Mm-hmm. A little more. That's great. And can I ask the bridesmaid to move to her right? Mm-hmm. A little more. Another inch. Perfect. - Looking this way.- Come on, smile. One more. - Here we go. Fine, I'll stop screaming.Just say something! I've been talking to you for hours! You're not talking! That's the point! - You're breaking fucking plates! - I don't understand! - You don't listen. - I'm listening! Let's talk about this calmly. Why do you always whisper? You always whisper! - Does that make you smarter or something? - No, it means I'm holding back. - You're a bastard! - Please don't hurt the photographs! - Oh, I'm so sorry I fucked with the fucking photographs! - What are you doing? Please -- Damn you! - I hate you. - No, you don't. What we need to do is sit down and talk. No. No! Please. Please. Hi. You're incredible. Uh, I just came to pick up the wedding -- Go in and wait. I'll be right back. Sorry about that. We work together, and she can be a bit unstable at times. It's just that when people act irrational, it always comes as a bit of a shock. - Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. - Do ya? - I really should come back another time. - No. I'm glad you're here. Let's have a drink. Hmm? This is, uh -- This is beautiful. Think that's a good one? Yeah. I mean, I'm not -- I'm not an expert. - Which print is better? - You're asking me? They look exactly the same. I mean, I wouldn't know how to tell. Just go with your gut feeling. Like, boom -- That one. No, no, no, I'm really not good at -- Take a beat, go away for a second and look back. - That one. - That one? - You sure? - No. Absolutely not. Well, maybe you're right. Spent two days printing these, then I couldn't decide which ones to hang at my show. - You've got a good eye. - Me? No. My family, none of us can do anything except doodle on legal pads. That's right. You're going to law school. You heard. - Have they cashed your tuition check yet? - No. I mean, I don't think so. Why? I don't think you really wanna go. What makes you say -- - Oh, God! - Don't worry. I've got another bottle. - I always fuck everything up. - Do you really? That's wonderful. I ruined your pictures. This'll wash off. Don't worry about it. You've actually improved this. It's never looked better. - Look at that. It's extraordinary! - I'm really sorry. That's great. Look at Aunt Margaret. What a cow. I look incredible there. Hmm. That's odd. Harper, you're -- you're not here. In any of these. Harper,you -- But you were there. You were right there. Wait a minute. Check this out. Oh, my. Let me see. Uh -- It's a nice picture. But he didn't even get your name right. Look on the back. What was his place like? Uh, it was just a place. Mmm. He told everyone he had the absolute right to exclusively license... the design to their company. - Of course he's clearly liable. - I disagree. The statute explicitly requires intent to mislead. Exactly. Which you could easily prove. Dad's right. Really, Susan? You agree with your father? I'm shocked. We're talking about the law. There's objective truth here. It's not about choosing sides. Thank you. I stand corrected. Where do you stand, Harper? Don't bother her. She's busy digging a hole in her bread. - By the way, Harper, you'll never fit in there. - Well? I really don't know. - How does one get into Harvard without having opinions? - That's what they'll teach her. - She'll come home with plenty of opinions. - I didn't. I'm sorry, darling? I didn't get in. I-I was wait-listed. I thought I would clear the list. Wow. They said the list wasn't that long. I thought that -- I-I thought that, um -- - I was sure -- I told my parents I didn't really get into Harvard. But I did get in. I just told them I didn't. I don't want to go. I think that picture you took of me is just... shocking. Okay. Bye. Would you like to come in? You can sleep here. I usually print at night. Won't be using the bed until morning. If you want to shower when you wake up, it's down the hall. Thank you very much. You're really nice. There's loads of reading material here if you can't sleep. Do you know who that is? He changed art in America. That's Georgia O'Keeffe. When they met, he was already a famous photographer. He was a revolutionary. She was about your age. Knock on the darkroom door if you need me. So the whole time you were sleeping in his bed he stayed downstairs? - He stayed in the darkroom all night. - Listen to you say "darkroom"! - Sorry. - And in the morning? So then I came downstairs and he made me eggs. - Scrambled? I want details. - Okay, Patty. - He went to the fridge -- - Stop. Come on. He made me an omelet. Then he was telling me about Ireland, which was amazing. Ooh, Ireland. Sexy. - Patty, do you even know what's going on over there? - Yes! - No, you don't. - Shut up. - It was amazing, the things he was saying about it. - And then? - Then we talked about art. - Art? - Oh, God, it was -- it was truly horrifying. - Oh, my God. - I was such an idiot. - I'm sure you were. I'm sure you were a total idiot. What did you expect? Of course I was totally socially inept. - You know what a loser I am. - Yes,you are. This is it, the place he said he'd be at if I felt like coming by. He meets with his friends here to discuss ethics or something. You're kidding. Look, that's him. By the bar. By the bar. - He's old! - I told you! But attractive, in an ugly kind of way. - Jesus. - Oh, he wants to fuck you. For sure. - He's older than my dad. - That doesn't mean anything. - What makes you such an expert on this topic? - Uncle Greg. Mmm. I'm going in. Hang on to your panties. Call me. Okay, so then, uh, according to you, uh, the photographer's viewpoint here, Mark Twain shouldn't have included, uh, uh,Jim in Huckleberry Finn... because Mark Twain was a white man from the South. Zack, we're not just talking about the content of the story here. We're talking about the relationship of the artist to the art. When a white man starts telling a black's story -- A black woman's story. He's a capitalist exploiting their product. - "Product." Do you hear this shit? - You didn't make it. - So if you take it, all you can do is sell it. - Bullshit! You don't see Maya Angelou sitting down to write The Chosen, do you? - Let her do it! - You were right about lesbians, Zack. - It's okay by me. - Can't speak for the Chins, but the Wongs are with you. Hold it, hold it, hold it! Harper. What do you think? He's right. You're right. Of course he's right. The Zack and Connie Show. Always very entertaining. - I'm Billie, by the way. - Hi, I'm -- I'm Harper. - Can I get you a drink? - No, I'm okay. Thanks. - So, how long have you and Connie been together? - Together? - Aren't you -- - Aren't we together? No, no, no, no. - Oh, you guys aren't -- - No. No. He's way too old. I mean, not that that should matter or anything. - No, we're not together. - Mm-hmm. He built that loft himself. Did you know that? - Really. - Billie. ## Billie ## Um, look, um... here's my number if you ever need to talk or -- Need to talk about what? Whatever. - Bye, everyone. - Good-bye. - Bye. You never ordered a one-egg breakfast in your life. You never ordered a one-egg breakfast. Nobody ever orders a one-egg -- - You didn't tell me you have a book. - Oh. Do you want to stay here, Harper? Tonight? Tonight, and after. For as long as you like. Unless you have other plans. I should point out there'd be conditions. Like? You'd have to work. - You mean, pay half the rent? - No. I didn't say you'd have to get a job. I said you'd have to work. Learn, commit yourself to study, read, create something. "Create something"? Photograph, paint, write, dance. It doesn't matter. Photograph, paint, write or dance. - That's what I would have to do to stay here? - That's all. Couldn't I do something a little more menial, like, uh, laundry, maybe? I don't think so, comrade. What would be the point? But I've got no talent for anything. I mean, I -- I -- I can't draw or dance. I'm terrified of cameras. - I'd help. - Oh. You're mistaking me for someone with potential. I don't make mistakes. Where would I stay? Were you comfortable last night? Do you always stay in your darkroom at night? Not always. Oh. I get it. I don't, uh -- I don't have a boyfriend. Just thought I would, you know, volunteer that information. I, uh, really like this table. I really like this table. I-I-I don't know what to do. Look at this, Harper. Look how delicate that line is. Thanks, I really worked at it. Go sit over on the couch. Wh -- Why? I want to look at your form. Wow. - I'm sorry. - It's okay. Go over there. I'll stay here. Thanks. I'm embarrassed. Why? Well, you're just -- you're just sitting there. - Don't think about me. Think about something else. - Like what? Divide 2,809 by 12. I'm not drunk enough for this. - Try it. - This is absurd. Concentrate. I'd like to see that, you concentrating. I bet that's really nice. Okay. All right. Okay, so, 12, 2 -- 12 goes into 28 twice, so that's 24. 36, so, uh -- 41 is 36 is 4, bringing down the 9. 12 goes into 49 -- 12... 2 -- It's 234, with a remainder of 1. Right. You want me to do another one? More than anything in the world. Okay. Okay, um -- Uh, 8,922 times... Okay. All right, uh, 8 times 2 is 16, so, uh, carry the 1 -- Okay, 8 times 2 is 16, plus 1 is 17, so 7, carry the 1. Um, 8 times 9 is 72, so that's 2 -- Carry the 7. 8 times 8. Carry the 1, so, um -- Okay, so 18 -- 8 times 7 -- No, 8 times 9 is 72, plus -- Wait, 64. Um, okay, so 8, carry the 7, is, um, seventy -- 64 plus 7, uh -- I get to change my mind at any point? Of course. You know, I'll be 21 in a few months, but people still treat me like I'm 12. Why am I like this? So many embarrassing things have happened to me. Sometimes I lie awake at night... and feel pinned to the bed with shame. I feel like I've failed publicly so many times. And I know it's gonna happen again. I just don't know when. I live in suspense of the next time I humiliate myself. Those are precisely the conditions required for becoming an artist. You're gonna do great things, Harper. How can you say that? Based on what? I know about these things. I'll clear out the back corner of the loft... to make you a work space. You'll start tomorrow. Do you think you could move that lamp for me? Throw a little shadow on his face. You're really good at that. Really? Don't worry. For a few seconds there it was perfect. Patty. You really have room for her with all those roommates at your place? Actually, one of my roommates just moved out, so... it's really unbelievably convenient, um, the way it all worked out. - Bye. Bye, Dad. - A-All right. So, um, Harper's really doing us all a big favor. - See you later, Mrs. Sloane. - Bye, Mom. ## Tristeza ## ## The deep sadness the heart feels ## ## Let it leave mine forever ## ## Let my life sing again ## ## From this day on my days are dreams of sun and roses ## ## My nights a carnival of song ## - Much more detail than that. - ## From this day on ## - ## My dear the dark of sorrow closes ## - You've gotta read them both. - If you're gonna explore jazz, you'll need some history of it. - ## This day when you came along ## ## From this day on my days are dreams of sun and roses ## ## My nights a carnival of song ## ## From this day on, my dear the dark of sorrow closes ## ## This day when you came along ## Hello? Where are you? Where? They're in here. Hey, Zack, say hi to Harper. - Maybe later. - God, what's he on? Nothing. That's alcohol detox. That's what happens when he doesn't have a drink. - How long is he gonna be like this? - Another day or two. Got any mercy in here? - I'll go ask the doctor about an alcohol drip. You know, pal, this is why you should never stop drinking. Take it easy, buddy. You're doing great. I'm going for a smoke. - Here's your camera. - You keep it. Document it for him. - What? - Take some pictures. When he wakes up, show him what he suffered through. He loves that. - Y-You must be joking. - I'll be outside in the car. Dr. Morris to Recovery. Dr. Morris to Recovery. Ohh! - Ohh! - Ohh. How'd you do? Not even one? - Why did you do that to me? - I told you you were gonna have to work. He pissed all over me. How am I supposed to take a photograph when he's pissing all over me? How am I gonna know when that looks right? You don't take a picture when it looks right. You take a picture when it hurts so bad you can't stand it anymore. Well, I can't do it. It's work, Harper. It's work. It's not the fuckin' flower show at theJunior League. You're so mad. Can't I do something else? Something I'm good at? Like what? Come on, baby. I'll take you home, put you in a nice, hot shower, make you a bowl of soup, hmm? Come on. You've got Zack's piss in your hair. Good! Please, Guinevere. Don't make me carry you. Don't! - Come on. - Stop it. Put me down. Don't photograph me. I'm not. I'm shooting the back of the chair. Why would you do that? 'Cause you're in it. I said don't photograph me. How about just a part of you? An ear? An elbow? Finger? Oh, Guinevere. I would gladly crawl on my hands and knees over a desert of broken glass... before I'd do anything to make you feel bad again. You know that, don't you? Harper! You slut! When this gets out, your status is gonna be huge. How does it work when he takes them? - Does he make you drink wine and listen to bad disco? - No. - Is that erotic? - No. You freak. - You know, this is standard photographic subject matter. - Mm-hmm. Well,you know, Patty, I stepped in front of that background... and I took off my shirt... and he whipped out his camera and took eight rolls of film of my tits! Get down! - But you know what? - What? No, they're nice. Really? Yeah. They're sort of beautiful. Are they all like this? Did you put little hats on or anything? Ooh, shit. Sorry. - It's not in here. - Oh, God. Breast fest. Um, Harper? - Those aren't mine. - Wait a minute. Maybe they are. - No. - No. No, they're not. Are these yours? No. I believe those areJessica's. I keep mine in a box in the studio. I want to see your form, baby. Oh, God. No. That's not funny. I'm sorry. You're right. It's not funny. It's a fuckin' tragedy, baby. Oh, my God. How old are you, anyway? I'll be 21 in a couple of weeks. Twenty-one. He's shameless. So, uh, what, may I ask, are you studying? I'm not. I just got my B.A. No, I mean at the Cornelius Fitzpatrick School for Young Ladies. What? Painting, sculpture, photography, what? - Photography. - Really? That's what I started with. Then I moved into painting in my second year. Oh. - How long ago did you -- - What, graduate? About seven years ago. - - Aw, come on, Harper. Only the most promising are chosen. Or the most pathetically fucked-up. I can't really decide which one. Yeah, no, it's definitely the latter. The reading can be overwhelming... and the lectures are definitely long, but it's pretty intoxicating being the center of all that attention. Is he taking money from you yet? - No. - No episodes in which you're the ruling class enemy? - No. - Well, then, you're fine. W-What are you talking about? What are you saying? You know, I really should shut up. He's gonna be so mad at me. Okay, you know -- Sorry. I actually have to get somewhere where I can throw up. - Hey, Harper, I understand why you're with him. - That's a relief. Hey, Guinevere. He's gonna try to get a five-year commitment out of you. I never met anyone who made it more than three. I don't think you should go. Hey. - Hey! - What? I don't think you should go. Why not? You're not ready yet. Yeah? I feel ready. You know what else I feel? I feel stupid. I feel really, really stupid! Harper, listen to me, would you? Harper, please listen. Billie wanted to be an artist. I tried to help her for a while. But it turned out she wasn't serious about her painting. - She was distracted by commerce.- - You saw her stuff. How many of us have there been, just out of interest? Don't tell me you believe what she said. How many of us Guineveres have there been? I don't understand why you're so upset. Maybe I called her Guinevere. I don't even remember. People call each other "sweetie pie," and it's not considered private property. You'll never call me that again. Okay. Okay. The word will never cross my lips again. Don't. I'm going! You understand that? Harper, come on. - Why do you really think Billie said all those things? - She was warning me. No, she feels threatened by you. - She's being competitive. - She's competitive with me -- I believe that. What's not to believe? That she never had ten percent of your talent? That I never loved her? That I want to marry you? What did you say? Don't worry. I'm not asking you. I know what you'd say. Harper, I'm not a fool. I look down the road, and I see you with somebody else. But I also see you as an artist, and it would be such a fuckin' tragedy... if you let something like this take you off your path. Don't walk away from yourself, Harper. You've got talent. How can you say that? - I haven't taken a single photograph. - But you will. - Maybe I never will. - Give yourself a chance. Give yourself some time. With you. I'm not asking you to stay forever. I'm not asking for the rest of your life. How long are you asking for? Five years. It's not time for you to go, Harper. When it's time, you'll know. We both will. I can't. Come on. Get out. Go on. Get out. Go home. Go on back to your big house with your servants and your mother's social club. Here, take your cowardly ass and get out of here! So I argued that it has limited protectability as an intellectual property. Good argument. What did they say? - Thanks, Gary. That the international copyright hasn't expired yet. But I'm going to blow them away. There's no birthday cake. I asked your father to pick it up on the way home, but by the time he got to the bakery, it was closed. It's okay. I'm stuffed. I asked the restaurant to send one over, but what are you gonna do? They're Chinese. They're too busy blowing up ducks to bake anything. So it's fortune cookies for everybody. Come on, everybody. Take a cookie. Last week at the firm, a couple of women did this. After you read your fortune out loud, add the words "in bed"to the end of it. You'll see. It's funny. Gary. You're a daredevil. Come on. Read yours out loud. And, uh, add the words "in bed"at the end of it. Go on. Go on. Um, "You will soon experience... changes for the better"... in bed. See, that's funny. Susan, I bet you're glad to hear that one. All right. I'm gonna read mine. Everybody listening? "A friendly conversation removes seeming hindrances"... in bed. Darling, now there's something we haven't tried yet. A friendly conversation. Go on, Alan. Read yours. "Good character guards against temptation"... in bed. Oh, so that's been your problem, darling. Your sterling character. This is childish and ridiculous. - We're just having a little fun. - No. You are totally out of control, as usual. - You're gonna let her talk to me that way? - Don't drag him into this. - Listen to you. Listen to you defend him. - All right. Enough. It has nothing to do with him. It's you. Oh, I see. How about you, Alan? - Do you have something to say about it? - Deborah! "You will soon take a giant 12-inch cock up your ass"... in bed. I don't know. Somehow -- It didn't make mine any funnier. Hmm. Fuck this family. Gary. Just pick it up. Happy birthday, baby. I couldn't stay away. I missed you so much. Come on, baby. I have a surprise for you. Hold it. One more person goes up there, and we're shuttin' it down. - I live here. - Let's see some proof. Officer, I don't carry I.D. with me. What is this, a fascist police state? What? Now you're gonna mace us, you pigs? Fine. Thanks very much. We're going. We're going. Come on. - What's going on up there? - Your surprise party. That's Patty. Patty! Patty! Patty! - What are you guys doing down there? - Send down the fire escape. ## I'm totally wasted, and I don't know anybody. You should have been here. Harper, happy birthday! Connie, there's some irate Maoists waiting in the bathroom... ready to throw away their little red books if they don't get to piss soon. - I'll go see. - Patty, look at me. Oh, off. No! Oh -- Ow! - Patty! - Oh! Oh, no. See, you don't even understand this shit, man. This is gonna change the future. Not everybody's future. This is a rich man's technology. - You're a technophobe. - And you're also a stubborn bastard. I'm not stubborn, I'm right. Harper, am I stubborn, or am I right? - You're right. - Oh, great. Yeah, that's great. ## ## Happy birthday, Harper ## #We all came to celebrate # #With you-ou-ou # ## Happy birthday ## # Harper ## - Go, girl! Happy birthday.- Holy fucking shit. Did you have a good time? It was the best party of my life. Come over here. I told you it wasn't time. Thank God you're back. Thank God. My good girl. Your what? Who's my good girl, hmm? Me. Okay. Do me a favor. Don't mess with the focus. - What are you doing? - Just this. You're good at that. - Careful.- - Here we go. - I'm making you dinner. Forget the dinner. I'm not hungry. No, no, no, no! Wait a minute. No, no, don't look. - You can't look yet. - I didn't know we could go up here. You can go anywhere. You know that. - Remember that. It's important. - Okay. - I'm ready to look now. - No, no. Wait, wait. Wait. - Okay, ready? - I'm ready. Ta-da! You like it? I wanted to give you a welcome home present. This is it. There's a chair up there where you can sit and read, or study, or write in your journal, or just sit and think. You're insane. - And there's a lamp there, in case you need more light. - More light? And there's an all-weather umbrella, only don't put it up when it's windy. That's the only caveat I have. Do you like it? - You're crazy. - Yeah, but do you like it? - I love it. - It's brilliant! I don't know why I didn't think of it before! We could take over the whole roof. - Won't the landlords be mad? - The who? - The landlords! - Nah! Over there could be the dance floor, here the stage. A thousand people can listen to jazz... under the stars! I claim this roof for... Queen Guinevere! You're crazy! Yeah, but it works. - Harper? - Yeah? Your mom's here. Sh -- - She's getting dressed. - Oh, good. - Can I take your coat? - No, I don't think so. Now that I look at you, I really don't know how you pull it off. But then I'm more superficial than Harper. Looks have always been important to me. You don't like me very much, do you? You're older than I am, and you're fucking my daughter. What's to like? May I? Sure. Help yourself. Mom, hi. You okay? Is everything -- everything's okay? Yeah. I dropped by Patty's place and caught her without a lie ready... about why none of your things were there. Don't be angry at Patty. I dragged it out of her. So... this is how you've been living these last months. This is so, uh... interesting. Why don't we go somewhere and, uh, talk about this in a friendly way? Th-There's this place that we really like. We could take you there. No. No. No, this isn't going to be one of those feel-good situations. I've seen enough. I'm gonna go home and break the news to your father. I mean, who knows? Perhaps he won't even mind. It's our other daughter he's obsessed with. Oh, before I go, I would really like to ask you a question. And I-I can't tell you how valuable an honest response would be to me. She's starting. I have my own theories about this, but I really would love to hear it from you. Ask away. - What do you have against women your own age? - Mom, please don't. Shut up, Harper. Look, I'm smiling. I promise your answer won't hurt my feelings. - I don't have anything against women my own age. - Sure you do. I tell you what -- I'll tell you my theory, and you just jump in any time. All right? Oh, you can sit. For starters, I don't really think... that your young girl predilection has much to do... with their firm, young flesh. I mean, when someone like you is out with someone like Harper, you must invite all kinds of comparison and ridicule, which can't be much fun... for either of you. Right, honey? So then, what is... a man of, uh, your age... doing with my 21-year-old daughter? It'd be easy enough to say you're afraid of mature women, but that's so glib. Afraid of what, exactly? So I kept thinking. And then it hit me. I know exactly what she has that I haven't got. Awe. That's it, isn't it? I mean, no real woman -- no woman of experience would ever stand in front of you... with awe in her eyes... and say, "Wow, look at that man. Look at that bohemian wedding photographer... with holes in his jeans. Gosh, isn't he something?" No. I mean, it takes a naive girl for that. It takes Harper for that. So what do you think? Am I right? You're some woman, Deborah. Mrs. Sloane. I'm Mrs. Sloane. I know what you're doing, and it makes me sick. Well... that was fun. Actually, I really didn't enjoy myself all that much. - But I think you did, didn't you? - What? The shocked way you acted about your mom being here. It was very convincing. You really had me going there. It took me a few minutes before I realized that you'd put your mother up to the whole thing. You know, it's amazing, but... when you're in love, even someone like me... can forget the most basic truths. Everybody's just a product of their environment. How could you be any different... from the ruling class you come from? Of course, you're a disingenuous, deceitful, untrustworthy, two-faced piece of bourgeois trash. It's not your fault. I don't blame you. But I never want to see you again, okay? When I get back, I don't want you here. Connie. Couldn't you find your suitcase? I didn't look very hard. I'm so happy to see that four years of reading Chaucer... has prepared you for this glorious career in food service. Do not be a snob. There's nothing wrong with honest work, Patty. You hate it. We've got back rent to pay, all right? - So? - So I'm doing this. - While he's doing what? - Please don't join the ranks of the disapproving. Well, I'm sorry. I think it's weird. A 21-year-old woman supporting a 90-year-old man. Okay, "A," he's not 90, and "B," look, I'm not supporting him. I'm temporarily carrying the burden. You know what? It's sexist of you, and ageist, to expect he should be doing everything... just because he's a man and old. Why doesn't he photograph weddings anymore? There's nothing wrong with honest work, blah, blah, blah. I just want you to be happy, Harper. I am happy, Patty. - He's really helping me. - If you say so. Just stay open to it if some cute guy shows up... - who wants to lick you all over.- - There you go. Enjoy. - Thanks. Yeah, I noticed them too. They haven't stopped watching us since we sat down. - Sweet suffering Jesus. - Okay, that's horrifying. - Nice you can laugh about it. - Why? 'Cause it bothers you. I know it does. I know it's not easy being with me. People are thinking whatever they think about us. They don't understand. What's not to understand? You're rich and powerful, and if I suck your dick, you'll put me in your movie. Harper, I know what I am. I know I'm not the youngest man in the world or the wealthiest. I know I'm not the most rational man. And believe it or not, I know I'm not particularly gorgeous. But I have to believe I'm giving you something, this is good for you. 'Cause if it wasn't, I couldn't stand it. You're the first person who's ever believed in me even a little bit. Look at everything I'm learning. - You're doing what you wanna do. - Of course. You're here of your own free will. You could leave any time you wanted. Jesus. What's gotten into you? Just put me in your movie and shut up. - Thanks. - And you are particularly gorgeous. Thank you. And -- And I know I can leave any time. Right. Like I was thinking... that maybe it would be good if I started looking... for a place of my own in a few months. Uh-huh. I mean,just something small, close to your place. No big deal. - Are you upset? - No. Just the first I've heard of it, that's all. I mean, it's not like we're breaking up or anything, right? - It's just a place I can put all my stuff. - You haven't got any stuff. I have stuff. Yeah. Of course. Wh-Whatever you say. I just -- I thought maybe we could look together. We can find someplace we both like. Sure, sure. Look, I have some things to do. I'll see you back at home. I thought we were going to Zack's place, to the book party thing. - We're not going? - You go. Connie, when I said a few months, I didn't necessarily mean that. - It might be a year, or I don't know. - Fine. Uh, what you say is fine. There's a review in here of theJackson Pollack at the Whitney. I'll see you at home later on. Hey, fuck you, motherfucker. Connie? This is why you should stop drinking, pal. Yeah. - I'll check on him again later. - Okay. Thanks, Zack. Bye. You know, I've been thinkin', Harper. You've been unconscious. Yeah, I know, but... I was thinkin', what we really need... is to have some fun. You know, like a lot of fun. This is fun. I have this collector in Los Angeles... who wants to buy some photographs. Let's get out of here. Let's pack up and head off to L.A... for a few days. Okay? ## Ay, ay, ay, ay ## ## Como me gusta ## ## Mira, mi amor ## ## Yeah, I made a lot of money in L.A. over the years. In the early '70s, this gallery on La Cienega that repped me, they couldn't keep my stuff on the walls. - L.A. was good to me. I'm glad we're going there. - Me too. Walter, he's been trying to get me back down there for years. He'll probably ask us to stay with him. - Do you think he's going to buy a lot of pictures? - Oh, sure. - He's a big collector, Walter. - Well, that's great. So, you know, we're going to be rich. Champagne and caviar for everyone! That's so like you, Queen Guinevere, sharing the wealth. Well, I have a royal proclamation. Proceed, Your Royal Highness. Your loyal subject is all ears. Good, because when we get to L.A., - Uh-huh. - I, Queen Guinevere, - Mm-hmm. - am going to stun the world... Mm-hmm. - and take a photograph. - Jesus Christ. Bravo. Congratulations. I thank you. And, uh, what are you going to take a photograph of, Your Highness? You... in a bathing suit, with a surfboard going, "Surf s up, dude." You'll do that for me, right? What, you don't approve of my subject matter? - What is it? - Um -- Are you okay? Connie? Connie, what? Are you sick? Connie. Connie, what is it? Will you talk to me, please? What is it? Oh. - Jesus. - Don't worry. It's okay. It's okay. No, please. Please don't. Don't feel bad, okay? We'll fix it, all right? We'll go to a dentist. I'm gonna go look in the phone book now. No money. I haven't got any money. We'll go to Walter's first and sell photographs, then we'll go to the dentist. Can't go to Walter's like this. Don't, Connie. Don't, please? We'll fix it right here, all right? I'll go get some money right now. Okay? Just don't be upset. Just -- You have to -- - Give me the camera. - Oh, God. Just the telephoto. That should be enough. - How are you, Walter? - Connie? I can't believe this. - Oh, boy.- My God, I haven't seen you in ten years. - Looking the worse for wear. - Hello. I'm Harper. Hello. Well, what a great surprise. Come on in. Come on. So you were in the neighborhood, huh? Rebecca's at the store. She'll be sorry she missed you. You should've called first. You know me. Never know where I'm gonna show up. - Can I get you two something to drink? - No, thanks. I'm fine. Sure. What do you got? Uh... come on in the kitchen. She's gorgeous! - How the hell do you do it, you lucky shit? - Shh, shh. How's life? What brings you down here to lotus land? Actually, I came down here to hang a show. - No kidding? - Mm-hmm. - Bourbon with that? - Yeah,just a splash. Mmm, yeah, I got an opening next week... a-at a gallery on La Cienega. - Good for you. - Mm-hmm. - All new stuff, or -- - Actually, I got the prints with me. - Do you want to take a look? - Sure. Let's wait for Rebecca. She'll be dying to see them. I raised my prices recently, except for old friends. Oh. I have a book coming out next year. After that, they're gonna be worth three -- five times what I'm asking for them now. You know, Connie, Rebecca and me, we're retired now. We're not much into the art-buying business anymore. Oh, I mean, your stuff is great, but, uh, we've already got three of yours. Walter, uh, I hate to ask you this, you know. It's not easy for me. Connie, uh, we haven't seen each other for ten years. Mm-hmm. Long time, long time. It's just that my cameras are in the shop and I can't make any money until I get them out, and I can't get them out until I make some money. - I'm surprised. I don't know what to say. - It's an unusual situation. - So you couldn't make it to the bank. - Yeah, that's right. - Yeah. - Well, maybe I can help you out with a little something. How much did he give us? Forty bucks? Not enough to get home. I guess we will have to pawn the fucking camera. I never took a picture. You're pawning the camera, and I never took a single picture, not one. Well... now's my chance, right? Stop it. Stop it. Stop it, Harper! - Stop it. Harper, stop it. - Oh, come on, Connie. - Just one finger,just one toe! - Stop it, stop it! Connie? Yes, baby? I love you so much. I know. I know. I love you too. I love you so much, I don't know what I'll do. I could use a drink. Me too. There's a liquor store. Did you see it? - Across the parking lot? - Uh-huh. Could you run across there and get us a bottle? Yeah. You want anything else? No. Here. Take your bag. They might want I.D. You know, you look like a kid. And your jacket. It's cold out there. It's not cold. Go. Come with me. I'll watch. You'll watch me cross the parking lot? Who wouldn't? No. No. Go on now, Guinevere. Go on. I'm coming right back. I'm gonna go to the liquor store, then I'm coming right back. Okay. I'll be right here. Connie. Hi. April? Hi, Harper. Come in. The others are, uh, already here. He's resting. - Harper, hey. How you doin'? - Billie. - I heard about your photography. - You did? My dealer knows your dealer, and he says you're doing a show at Cole-Swensky. - That's so great. - Thank you. - Do you know Cindy? - We've actually met before. - Hi. - I'm over it. - Linda, this is Harper. - Class of '81. It's good to meet you. So are we all here? Is this everybody? - Mm-mmm. We're missing Jessica. - Pre-Billie, post-me. - She's stuck in a shoot in Alaska, right? - She sent a fish. Oh, that was good of her. I found a bottle, and there's still somethin'in it. Quick, before he crawls out of bed and grabs it from you. You two are so unkind. Give me some. I could only get him to swallow one spoonful of soup. I think on top of everything, he's a little uneasy about all of us being here at once. It's not like we're gonna talk about the size of his dick while he's dying in the next room. Well, actually, as I recall -- What? I was gonna say something nice. Cheers. He wanted you all here. He asked me to call you. Last week, when I came by to get the rest of my stuff, I found him on the floor over there. He looked like he was there for a while, and he wasn't even conscious. So I, uh, took him to the hospital, and they checked him over, and they told me... it was too late to do anything. Just let him die at home. What does that mean? Die how? I mean, what's gonna happen? What about after? I don't know how to take care of him. I have finals next week. He was helping me with my paintings. He was helping me with a lot of things, and I really needed that, you know. Oh, God. I shouldn't have left him. It was hard, but I could have stayed. He only wanted five years. Don't worry, April. He got a lot more than that. I wonder who was his favorite. - I think it was April. - Definitely April. - Cheers. - Cheers. We know, sweetie. We know. Poor baby. - Are you sure you wanna stay? - Yeah. Well... we said our good-byes. I gave him a blow job. I'm just kidding. I have to get back to Ed. Okay. Sleep well, all right? Yeah. Call me if anything happens, okay? Yeah, I will. - Thanks. - Okay. Take care. Okay. You too. Hello, Guinevere. - I have something for you. - What is it? It's your life's work. Don't have a heart attack, but we thought we'd give you one last look. It's from all the Guineveres. Thank you. I wanted to talk to you about April. I wanted to ask you if you could keep her on the right track, make sure she doesn't start painting fruit bowls. I'll look after her. And get her to read... the fundamental works. She doesn't like to read. Is there anything else? Um, my negatives. There's a few thousand of them. Are there any instructions on how you want them printed? Instructions? For you? You don't need instructions. I've been finding that dying is a hell of a time... not to believe in God. You can laugh if you want. I've, uh -- I've been trying to picture... what it's going to be like at the end. I was wondering if you could give me some kind of an image. You've always been good at that. I mean, wh -- like what? Um -- Are there going to be dancing girls singing "The International"? Whatever you like. Connie, this, uh -- this isn't easy for me. I mean, two years ago -- even, uh -- even one year ago, I couldn't have come. It's taken me four years to get here. Do you understand? I understand, Harper. It's taken me four years to get here too. Okay. Okay, Connie. You want me to give you an image? Here's what I'll do for you. I'll make it the Connie special. You'll find yourself down in your hallway, only it's much brighter and cleaner than you've ever seen it before. And you feel yourself starting to float. And let's see. I don't want you to be lonely in there, so... you look to the side, and there's Linda dancing and smiling... as you glide past. Okay, I know it's corny, but you asked for it, and I'm here to please. So you keep floating down your hallway, and a little further down, there's Billie. She's taken her long hair out of those braids of hers and she's waving good-bye. You see? Dying really isn't so bad. And you're feeling pretty good about yourself when Cindy appears. All is forgiven. Well, wait a minute. I think she just said, "Kiss my ass. " Now you turn your head to the left, and there's the seamstress you never thought I knew about. I bet you're picturing her naked. You're so predictable. And now you turn your head to the right, and there I am. Of course I look unspeakably beautiful. "I loved you the best, " you call out as you pass by me. And I blow you a kiss. Now you're almost at the end of the hallway. Do you see April? She's still crying, the poor thing. Well, we all did that for a while, but that's another story. And now you've reached the end of the hallway. What do you think is waiting for you, Connie? Is it heaven, or is it hell? It's a beautiful 1 9-year-old girl with an overbite. You know the type, and she's waiting for you. And just as you reach your hand out to touch her cheek, you see that what she's holding is a camera. And as she lifts it to her face, guess what? It's your old F-2, the one you left at the pawn shop too long and thought was gone forever. But now this pretty girl has it, and she's turning it on you. "Smile, "she says, and you do. And suddenly the flash goes off with a brilliant white burst of light, the brightest, purest light you've ever seen. And that will be all. |
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