1
EDDIE: All over the city,
it was an ordinary day
for most people.
My name's Eddie Ginley,
a small-time bingo caller
wanting to be a big somebody.
That day was my 31st birthday.
I could have been home
blowing out my candles,
instead of which
I was helping my psychiatrist
keep count of my marbles.
The count was going slow.
It's your turn, Doc.
I can't think of
anything to say.
Well, you should say,
"Think. What about
your mother?
"Did you tap pencils
when you were a lad?"
I'm not a Freudian, Eddie.
I know, Doc.
A job, a few potatoes,
like the next gazebo.
How's the act coming?
Fabulous. I top the bill.
Okay, so I announce
the bingo. Is it a crime?
Eddie, what do you
want to do?
You've asked me
that question for a year.
But you haven't
answered for a year.
I want to write
The Maltese Falcon,
I want to record
Blue Suede Shoes,
and I want to
play Las Vegas.
They've done the first two.
That's the rumor.
Eddie.
What?
Do you know what?
What?
You're a bloody nut.
I owe it all to you, Doc.
What's this?
I'm advertising.
EDDIE: Ironing can be fun.
I've been on my own
for about a year,
ever since my best girl
ran off with somebody else.
Somebody like my brother.
That's why I ended up
with a psychiatrist.
That's why I ran
the advert in the paper.
Somebody had to give me
a present. That's what
birthdays are for.
(PHONE DIALING)
(PHONE RINGING)
(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING
ON HEADPHONES)
The Ginley residence.
One moment.
I'll see if he's in.
Ginley. What is it? Yeah?
No, I can't hear you.
What? Hang on,
I've got a pencil.
Okay, shoot, but you're
gonna have to speak up.
Yeah? Yeah.
Okay.
Plaza Hotel,
room 322, 7:30.
EDDIE: I got to the Plaza
at 7:25. I had it all figured.
The guys were throwing
a surprise party for me,
and they'd picked
a classy joint.
It was the kind of place
where the Axminster
tickles your knees
and you need a black tie
to take a bath.
(HUMMING)
MAN: Come in. Come in!
WOMAN ON TV: 41?
MAN ON TV: 41.
Shut the door.
Do they charge you
extra for the light?
Shut up.
I'm just trying to make
small talk, mister.
It's not needed.
Make your play.
To the right.
There's a dresser
with a package on it.
Got it?
Sure.
What's the pitch?
Pitch?
The job.
It's all in the package.
And the folding green?
What?
The money, $20 a day
plus expenses.
Twenty dollars?
Twenty little
lonely dollars.
We agreed sterling.
I can live with it.
What are you waiting for?
I was just going.
We want results.
Broad at the shoulder,
narrow at the hip,
and everyone knows you don't
give no lip to Big Ed.
EDDIE: I hadn't got
a good look at the fellow,
but if the guys had hired him
to give me the present,
he'd done a good job.
It gets around
that you read thrillers,
and pretty soon,
everyone's coming on like
they were packing a rod.
But thoughts
like that could wait.
I was late for the club.
MAN:
Take good care of my baby
Please don't ever
make her cry
Eddie!
EDDIE: The Plaza
telephone number?
Where the hell
have you been?
Tommy, the Plaza
phone number?
Maritime 5050.
Where the hell have you been?
Just send my baby
back home
Where the hell
did you get to?
Bloody show...
Eddie, your customers.
They're waiting.
Eddie, I'll listen
for your phone call.
Oh, you're lovely.
Come on. Get on, then.
And no funny business.
Just announce the act.
Hey, Sammy, get them in.
The teeth, get them in.
Where do you think
you are, anyway?
Will you shut up?
Now, folks,
if you ever wondered
what killed the big bands,
you'll soon know as we have,
led by your host,
Tommy Wright,
The Saturated Seven!
(UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING)
Bloody bugger!
Hello? Yeah? The Plaza?
Room 322, please.
Well, could you
give me reception?
Yes.
I picked up a parcel
from somebody in room 322,
and I wanted
to give it him back,
but I've forgotten his name.
What? Half an hour ago?
No, it was a fella!
Mrs. Blankerscoon?
Well, could you
spell that, please?
Mrs. Blankerscoon? Okay.
Mrs. Blankerscoon.
Eddie. Interval.
What?
Interval, Eddie. Come on.
The customers are waiting.
Come on.
Yeah, yeah, Tommy.
Come here, you. Your teeth.
Get the buggers in, will you?
How can I?
The wife's got them.
You'll never do
your turn here,
I'll tell you.
Okay, folks,
we'll take a break now
so eat and drink
as if there was no tomorrow.
In 15 minutes, bingo,
so get your brains
and pencils sharpened.
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
Listen, Eddie, come here.
You're always pestering me
to let you do a spot.
All right,
I'll tell you what.
Tomorrow.
If I let you do
your act tomorrow,
do you think you could be
early just once?
Yeah, Tommy.
Right. Early tomorrow
gets Eddie a spot.
Understand?
Terrific.
Eddie.
EDDIE: Yeah.
All I ask, son,
is be a pro.
Be a pro like us.
A spot, eh?
Yeah.
Next day,
on your dressing room,
they'll hang a star.
Or something like that.
Oh! By the way, Tommy!
Yep?
You wouldn't give
a feller 1,000 pounds
for his birthday, would you?
You what?
Forget it, Tommy.
I'll come early.
(PIANO PLAYING)
(DOOR CLOSING)
Who are you?
I live here.
You wanna hear
anything special?
Play Melancholy Baby.
How does that go again?
(MUSIC STOPS)
How the hell
did you get in here?
Come rain or hail
or sleet or snow,
the Pinkertons are on the go.
What's your handle?
How do you mean?
What do I call you?
You decide.
Hello, sister-in-law.
Hello, Eddie.
Hello, Ellen.
Where's William?
Out.
You married
the wrong brother, kid.
I wouldn't leave you alone
to be threatened
in this manner.
I didn't get a better offer.
They were frontier towns,
old partner, and it was
a game of take and give,
and the one who could
draw the fastest was
the only one who'd live.
You haven't changed.
I know,
and I'm a year older.
Oh, yes. Happy birthday.
Thanks.
We haven't got
your present yet.
Oh! You haven't?
Drink?
Mmm. Bourbon on the rocks.
Milk and sugar?
Mmm-hmm.
Have you come
to see William?
William?
Listen, if William
was dying, the priest
wouldn't come and see him.
I say, I say, I say.
How's the club?
You hear everything,
don't you?
That's the trouble
with these small burgs.
Everyone knows
everyone else's business.
Well, how is it?
Okay.
And you're doing what
you want to do, aren't you?
Okay, it's great.
The club's great.
It's opened a whole new field
of unemployment to me.
Do they laugh at you?
Yeah. Yeah,
they laugh at me.
I wish they'd laugh
at me jokes.
I know it's a bit late to ask,
but do you use that
to stir your tea?
Stick 'em up.
Same old Eddie.
It's a real one, you know.
Even you're too old
to be playing with a toy one.
Put it away.
Same old Ellen.
How's the psychiatry?
You do hear everything,
don't you?
Mmm.
It's okay. I may have
to get a new one, though.
Psychiatrist? Why?
He's off his head.
Why didn't you come
to the wedding?
I was waiting
for the second house.
No second house.
I sent a telegram.
"To William, the best man
lost. Congratulations,
schmuck. Eddie."
I told the post office
"schmuck" was Latin
for "love."
What is a schmuck?
The guy you married.
He didn't like it.
He's got no sense of humor.
Do you think I have?
Why else would
you marry him?
The brother grim.
Hello, William. Welcome
to Rancho Notorious.
A family reunion.
Quick as a flash.
You feeling better?
Only when I see
the back of you.
You won't have to wait long.
What do you want?
What do brothers want
brothers for, Billy Boy?
Chew the fat,
have a drink,
swap old jokes.
Did you invite him?
He was here when I arrived.
In my house?
Playing your piano.
I suppose you want money.
When did I ever come
to you for money?
The night before
my wedding.
Oh, I needed that.
To send me
abusive telegrams.
I used my own money
for the telegram.
I used yours to go away.
You were supposed
to be my best man.
I don't like sad occasions.
You. You don't like
anything to do with
responsibility or work.
I'm working now.
A workingman's club.
It's not Las Vegas.
It never will be.
Wait.
What did you come for?
You won't believe this,
flimflam man, but I came
to thank you for the present.
What present?
The present for my birthday.
The day I give you
a present, pigs will fly.
That's what I meant.
Thanks for the flying pig.
Ginley.
Ginley what?
Ginley: Eddie.
Wyatt: Alison. Go away.
Take off your specs.
Is this your mug shot?
What's the beef,
Mr. Ginley?
What's the job,
Miss Wyatt?
Job?
Job. The gun?
What gun?
The gun, the money,
and the photo.
What are they for?
What are you talking about?
Three strikes
you're out, Wyatt.
I'm sorry. I'm not
very good at quizzes.
MAN: For Christ's sake!
This is not
a debating society here.
Don't act dumb
with me, lady.
Someone gave me 1,000 pounds,
your photo and a gun.
Is the grand payment
for knocking you off,
or do I just hand
the package over to you?
You better put
your gun away.
People might notice.
I'll tell them
I'm studying criminology.
Don't tell me, Ginley.
Save it for the D.A.
Listen, little lady,
you and I better go
for a walk.
Mr. Ginley, while I admit
that your conversation
has a certain flavor
which appeals
very much to my taste,
nevertheless,
mundane as it sounds,
I have an essay to write,
and I cannot spare the time
to chew the fat with you.
Where can we meet?
61 Gambier Terrace,
the penthouse.
Anytime after 11:00.
I'll be there.
No foul-ups, Miss Wyatt.
I'm the great white hope.
It's a .38
Smith and Wesson,
5-shot, walnut stock,
police special.
Anything else?
They're hard
to get hold of.
And they make
bloody big holes.
How much?
In Liverpool, nothing.
You might find
a nutter to take it,
but none of the serious
lads'd touch it.
It's not a gun town, is it?
In London maybe
you'd get a good price,
60, 70 quid.
But you're not
selling, are you?
No, I was given it.
See that? Our kid's.
Botha.
He's done well for himself,
your brother.
One day,
all this'll be mine.
Just don't lose it.
See you.
See you.
Ginley, I'm his brother.
Well?
You sent for me.
You always have
that look on your face,
as though you want
something but you're
not letting on what it is.
Okay. I want to know
what you want.
Come on.
I'm not paying
a social visit.
It was your
birthday yesterday.
You're kidding.
I suppose I ought to wish
you a happy birthday.
Don't crack your jaw
getting it out.
Happy birthday.
Couldn't you find
anything smaller?
I'm trying to be nice.
I knew you were
trying something.
Oh! Just a minute.
Put it away quick.
Go on. Get off.
Is it his birthday, too?
Business. This.
Where's Beira?
Mozambique.
They do a lot of
gardening in Mozambique?
A lot of gardening.
Anything wrong?
You're smiling.
I knew it couldn't last.
Well?
Well.
What's the pitch?
I want that ad
out of the paper.
Is this the price?
No.
No dice.
I want it out.
I don't like
people ringing me up
and making jokes about
the private investigator.
If people read the advert
carefully enough, they'd
ring me up. It's my number.
Take it out.
It's still got
two days to run.
Look, I don't like
people ringing me up and
asking for the private eye.
It's my name, too, brother.
I don't like people
ringing me up with
crooked deals.
Gardening tools
to Mozambique.
You're in trouble.
Are you telling me
or asking me?
Ellen said you were
funny last night.
I'm a comic.
I could offer you a job.
You bought a mortuary?
I'm trying to help you.
I think you'll need it.
Leave it, William.
I take the ad
out of the paper,
you give me a job.
Get someone to do
what you want them to,
and you give them a break.
You were a schnook
when you were a kid,
and you're a schnook
now you're grown up.
You've really had a go
at me, haven't you?
If that's how
you wanna see it.
Why don't you add that
I married your girl?
It takes two
to make a marriage.
It takes two
to keep a marriage.
See you, Billy.
You don't want my present?
Keep it.
It's the thought that counts.
In my Liverpool home
In my Liverpool home
We speak with an accent
exceedingly rare
Meet under a statue
exceedingly bare
And if you want a cathedral,
we've got one to spare
In my Liverpool home
(CROWD APPLAUDING)
Good luck, Eddie.
TOMMY: Thank you,
The Jacksons.
Now it's on with the show,
and the next act, I'm sure
he needs no introduction.
We're gonna have
a nice little comedy spot
from a very talented boy.
You all know him,
so let's give a nice
Broadway welcome
to our own Eddie Ginley!
(CROWD APPLAUDING)
That's him, folks.
Eddie Ginley.
His mother doesn't know
he's on the stage. She still
thinks he's in prison.
Two minutes.
Longer in the second half.
Tommy Wright, folks.
You may not remember the face,
but you'll never
forget the suit.
Thank you, Tommy.
Naughty.
Thank you.
No, but he's a great guy,
great guy, and he isn't mean.
He's not mean,
whatever they say.
He's just got short arms
and deep pockets.
He was had up by the police
recently, you know.
Found breaking
into a pound note
but he got off with a caution,
as it was a first offense.
(CROWD LAUGHING)
He fell a bit sick after that.
He went to the doctor.
Didn't know what was wrong
with him, didn't feel well.
The doctor gave him
a thorough examination.
He said, "It's all right.
You've only got
angina of the wallet."
Now I know a good one.
(PHONE RINGING)
Go easy, there.
Take it slow.
Hello? Yes, Broadway Club.
If he started juggling
with them, they were Japanese.
If they came back washed
and ironed, they were Chinese.
MAN 1: Yes, yes.
MAN 2: You go ahead.
A friend of mine went
in a bar very drunk.
He went to the bar,
ordered a large gin.
He got the large gin,
and he's running around
with the large gin,
drinking his gin.
Who?
He stops and he says,
"Excuse me, do you serve
lemons with legs in here?"
The barman said,
"Get out! Get out. Get out."
He said,
"Don't raise your voice.
"Get the manager."
The manager came up.
"What's this?"
"Do you serve lemons
with legs in here?"
He says, "No, we don't.
Will you get out, please?"
"Well, I don't want
to worry you,
"but I think I've just
squeezed a canary
into me drink."
(CROWD LAUGHING)
Thank you. Thank you.
Enough with the merrymaking
and on with the culture.
Now we have a young lady
who's done more for dancing
than Ginger Rogers
and Fred Astaire put together,
and they were never
put together like her.
She fainted in here
last night, and it took
four men to carry her out,
two a breast.
Ladies and gentlemen,
the delectable
Miss Melody D'Amour!
(BURLESQUE MUSIC PLAYING)
What do you think, Tommy?
Come on.
It wasn't all that bad.
I've got to see you, Eddie.
Sure, Tommy.
How do you think I did?
Great, kid. Great.
Come into the office.
Yeah, Tom.
Just let me get a cigarette.
That was a great
performance, Eddie.
Thanks, Sammy.
Thanks a lot.
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
Thank you. Very much.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Come in.
TOMMY:
Get yourself a drink, kid.
Thanks, Tommy.
Well, what do you think?
Did you like the act?
Be with you in a minute.
"To the kid from Liverpool
from the kid
from Hoboken, Frank."
"Le'chaim, Danny."
Good, aren't they?
Good.
Do you know how I make
me money here, kid?
The bar?
No, fruit machines.
No kidding.
I'd be lost without them.
What is it, Tommy?
Didn't you like the spot?
Do you want me
to go back to announcing?
Your act was fine.
I always said
you had it in you.
You could go right to the top.
Las Vegas, Cocoanut Grove.
This is as far as I'll get.
I'm not knocking
the club, Tommy.
Don't underrate yourself, kid.
Your moment
of glory will come.
My moments of glory
are all in me head.
So...
What's the pitch?
How much a week
do I pay you, son?
I'm giving you a bonus.
What for?
Because I want to give you
a bonus. What the hell
is the matter with you?
A century.
That's some bonus.
So, I like your act.
I wish you had seen it.
What's the score, Tommy?
I want you to take a holiday.
Where?
Anywhere.
For how long?
(EXHALES)
Okay, Tommy.
One, two, three.
Take the money, Eddie.
Just me wages, Tommy.
Don't be like this, kid.
I like your act fine.
Yeah.
There are other clubs.
I can work other clubs.
Not now.
It wouldn't be wise.
Why?
Someone doesn't like you.
And he can put people
out of business.
Who?
Can I use your phone, Tommy?
Anything, Eddie. Anything.
Anytime you want a favor.
The payphone.
I just want to call a cab.
(GRUNTING)
Hello, Alison.
When did you have
the operation?
If you're from the library,
tell them I'll pay the fines!
Sit down. Listen to me.
It's a bit late to ask,
but you sure you've got
the right place?
Are those your
working clothes,
Mr. Ginley?
Yeah, yeah,
and they're paid for.
What do they call you?
Entertainer? Is that
what they call you?
If they're being kind.
What's an entertainer
doing with a gun, Mr. Ginley?
I use it in the act.
It helps to keep
the audience on their toes.
You pulled the gun
on Alison Wyatt
in the library!
I heard she could tell jokes.
I thought I could use her
in a double act.
Look, I'm not amused, Ginley!
No? No. Well,
have you heard the one
about the queer parrot?
Look, I'd rather talk.
Do you understand? Talk!
You make me angry very well,
but I'd rather talk.
Now, today in the library,
I saw you.
Did the fat man send you?
What was it about?
That's easy, buster.
I'm also a private eye, see?
A girl, a gun, and a grand.
That's the world
I move in, see.
I know no fat man,
and you're in my flat.
Get out.
You haven't answered.
No?
Well, that's the only answer
you're getting. On your way,
Mighty Joe Young.
Mr. Ginley,
I can't tell you
what it's about,
but someone's made
a mistake, and you're it.
I said on your way.
Look, throw
the gun away,
Mr. Ginley.
Stick to entertaining.
Stay out of it.
Okay, when did you
come down from the trees?
When I saw you crawl
from under a stone.
Get back amongst
the bananas, fella.
(GRUNTING)
You're the great white hope?
(COUGHING)
Float like a butterfly,
sting like a bee.
EDDIE: Hi, kid.
What kept you?
What happened?
Geronimo broke
the treaty.
You said you were hurt.
I am hurt.
Where?
The stomach.
Take an Alka-Seltzer.
I got punched.
Who by?
Sonny Liston.
Does it hurt?
Only when I look at you.
Wouldn't it help
if you laid down?
If you lay down with me.
Do you want some tea?
Eddie, it's after midnight!
Look, you call me up.
You tell me you're hurt.
I'm worried. I come
rushing 'round here.
Now you look all right to me.
What do you want?
How did you get out?
I opened the door.
How did you get out?
What did William say?
Did he mind you coming
to see another man
after midnight?
Another man he'd mind.
You, no. He thinks
you're crazy.
Anyway, he's in London
on business.
It figures.
What figures, Eddie?
Look, it's nice
to see you again
after all this time,
and maybe we've got
a lot to talk about.
So let's meet for coffee.
One morning. It's civilized.
But unless it's important,
really important,
don't come breaking
into my home
waving guns about,
and don't call me
out like this!
You finished?
Yes.
Right. I'll tell you.
You don't want these things
to happen? Okay.
Keep your husband off me back.
What do you mean?
I mean...
Someone told Tommy that
for the continued success
of his club, I had to go.
Who would do
a thing like that?
Hitler.
Hitler's dead.
Wrong.
He's alive, and he's well,
and he's living with you.
Oh, come on now,
why would William
do a thing like that?
Jealous of my success.
He doesn't want to see me
make the Cocoanut Grove.
One day I'll get
a straight answer.
One day you'll deserve one.
When did this happen?
Tonight.
But William's in London,
on business. He left
by the 6:00 plane.
He moves fast.
Hit-and-run William.
I mean he couldn't
have seen Tommy.
Oh, really?
"Listen, get rid of Ginley.
It's for your
own good, right?"
That's a new invention, kid.
Have you heard about it?
All this over
an advert in the paper?
That's not like William.
No? Picture the scene.
Young Eddie Ginley,
eight years old,
hands bleeding,
sweating in the garret
of a back-to-back
over his violin practice.
Meanwhile,
in the yard, 13-year-old
William Ginley melts down
Eddie Ginley's toy soldiers
to sell the lead.
So?
So, that was William then,
and that's William now.
I'm going home.
Home is where your heart is.
That's an old line.
I'm an old fella.
You could stick around.
Why?
I may need
a nurse in the night.
Where?
You could sleep
in the bath.
Is that all?
Should there be
anything else?
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Okay, okay.
Just a sec.
May I come in?
Well, sure.
You don't look well.
Wait till I get me teeth in.
I'm looking for Ginley,
Ginley
the private investigator.
I saw the ad and
came straight over.
Oh! I'm the comedian. The
private investigator's out.
What do you want with him?
I have a job for him.
Well, what kind of a job?
A private-investigating
kind of a job.
Oh.
You wouldn't know where
I could find him, would you?
For a private-investigating
sort of a job?
Mmm.
He wouldn't be interested.
He told me himself.
"Definitely no
investigating," he said.
You seem to know him
awfully well.
He's like a brother to me.
(PHONE RINGING)
It's 36 years old.
I've read it five times.
This is the sixth.
It helps me to plan my life.
Telephone.
"She stared at me
for a long moment,
"and she moistened her lips
before she spoke."
It'll be my road manager.
Yeah? Hello.
Yeah? Can you ring me back
in five minutes?
I'm in a meeting
with my road manager.
I'm being threatened.
By whom?
A man.
How is he threatening you?
Well, you see,
I'm a firm believer in
the institution of marriage.
I like it so much
I'm going to do it again,
for the fifth time,
the first Saturday
of next month.
My husband-to-be is eminently
respectable, for a change,
and this man threatens
to tell him I'm a bigamist.
Tell the police.
No. No. No. No.
There would be publicity.
If you're innocent,
there's no problem.
Blackmail scares me.
You don't look to me
as if you'd scare easy.
Appearances can be
deceptive, you know.
Indeed they can, lady.
Ginley may look competent,
but he's really very stupid.
Besides which, he's on a job
at the moment, and
it's taking up all his time.
I can pay three times
what he's getting now.
He's that expensive?
He ain't expensive,
and he'd like
to take the money,
but as I said,
he's on a job.
I'll pay any price he asks.
Is that final?
Mr. Ginley is being
more stupid than he knows.
That's what I keep
telling him, but
he won't listen to me.
He says once
he starts something,
he's got to finish it.
Sorry.
That's okay.
Sorry I wasted my time.
By the way...
Mrs...
How did you know
where to find Gumshoe Ginley?
I saw the ad
and came straight over.
But I didn't put my address
in the advert, lady.
(PHONE RINGING)
Hello? Oh, hello!
Yeah, I wanna talk
to you, too, without
King Kong around.
What time do you have?
Meet me in 30 minutes,
my city office,
75 Renshaw Street, room A.
You can't miss it.
You're late, fats.
Why did you choose
this place to meet?
It's one of those
old proletarian customs, lady.
You lose your job,
you sign on at the dole.
You need a job?
Yesterday you had
1,000 pounds.
It's in my numbered account.
Switzerland?
Co-op. You see, you can
get it out every Saturday.
What have you done
with Danny?
Danny as in "boy,"
or Danny as in "Kaye"?
Danny Azinge.
He went to see you last night.
He never came home.
The Harlem Globetrotter?
What was I supposed
to do with him?
He's disappeared.
I'm asking you
what you did with him.
Listen, the last time
I saw him,
he was leaving my room
after wallpapering it
with my brains.
You carry a gun.
We only met yesterday
for a couple of minutes,
but I thought
we understood each other.
Fats, that ain't my style.
So long, Eddie.
(PHONE RINGING)
Polo?
No, thanks.
John Straker.
Eddie Ginley.
Glad to meet you, Eddie.
You know my ex-friend?
Yes.
What did she mean?
Don't be too hard
on her, lad.
She liked you.
She took a lot of
convincing that you'd
worked over her boyfriend
and locked him away.
Me, that gorilla?
I think
it's ridiculous, too, Eddie.
And that piece of paper
you gave her?
An address where she could
rejoin her boyfriend.
So now you've
got the two of them.
What did you want me for?
I don't want you
for anything, Eddie,
or the black lad.
Only the young lady.
I'm with my pal.
It's what I want
from you that counts.
Like what?
Don't be dumb, lad.
(SIGHS) Years since
I was in a labor exchange.
It's a funny feeling.
Cut the reminiscences, Angus.
They said you were a comic,
Eddie. Save it.
Yeah, you've come
to the right place, Eddie.
Clue me in.
Because you're gonna need
the money they give you.
You're gonna be 1,000 pounds
lighter after this morning.
You sure you won't
have a mint?
Lad, you caused me
a lot of trouble
when you interfered
with my work at the Plaza.
I don't like that.
I'll split it with you.
The money's mine.
You wouldn't miss
a few quid out of a grand.
Son, it's not just the money.
If it was, I wouldn't mind.
It's my reputation.
I couldn't hold up my head
if I was hustled out of a job
by an amateur like you.
It would not look good.
You're a very
sensitive guy, Jock.
John, Eddie, John.
I'm a hard man, son.
I don't look it, but I am.
I hurt people that upset me.
So where's the money, Eddie?
At my place.
I wouldn't like it
if it wasn't.
Do you mind if I see
a man about a job?
I've been in the same boat,
son, but make it quick.
Hello, Eddie. How are you?
Hello, chief.
Can you do me a favor?
Saw your advert in the paper
touting for work.
Not losing faith
in us, are you?
Never, chief.
Could you do us a favor?
What is it?
Well...
There's a guy,
I owe him some money.
He's getting a bit nasty.
Bum bailiff, eh?
How much do you want?
It's too much for you, chief.
I just wanted to get away
from him. Could I?
Well, it's against
the regulations, Eddie.
Break them just this once.
I mean, if it was
to come out that I let you...
I don't even know you.
Ah.
Well, for you, Eddie.
But keep going,
and don't let anyone,
anyone stop you.
Here, say you're
from the Mersey Docks
and Harbour Board.
Thanks, chief.
Hey, Eddie.
(CHUCKLING)
Gumshoe's the game, eh?
Thanks.
You bastard.
What's up, kid?
That's what I mean,
you're a bastard, Eddie.
The same old story.
When in trouble,
send for Ellen.
She'll do all
your dirty work.
You know how she feels
about you, so use her.
What's wrong, kid?
I don't want to get involved
with your games, Eddie.
Was it something I said?
Why did you send me up
for the parcel in your flat?
Well, it's a long tale, kid.
It's a short story, Eddie.
There was a man there.
A Scots fellow, Straker?
A negro.
What did he have to say?
He didn't say anything.
He was dead.
I don't want to be around
to pick up the pieces.
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
The train's going.
(TRAIN HORN BLOWING)
Yeah.
So long, Eddie.
5'11", tough as whang
leather, Eddie Ginley
thought for a minute.
He needed more time.
He needed more speed.
What he didn't need
was a body in his flat.
He had to break
this case but fast.
(WHISTLE BLOWS)
He'd laid it on the line,
but the lady wouldn't listen.
He had to get out of town,
but the pitch was,
would the lady stick around?
He thinks
we don't notice,
you know.
Why don't you stop him?
We make a note
of the books and
send the bill to his mother.
You can stop
pretending now.
Come again?
These books aren't for you.
You're not the type.
There's a definite type?
Oh, not what you'd think.
No black cloak
and broomstick stuff.
The most respectable-looking
people buy the occult.
Do you believe in all this?
It's a load of rubbish.
Rubbish, it's all rubbish.
I'm in the rubbish business.
You own the place?
He's out buying rubbish.
You want to see him?
When will he be back?
A couple of hours,
maybe. Three.
Are you the one
who's been phoning him?
Phoning?
Mmm.
Some nut's been
phoning and phoning,
driving me mad.
Take the phone
off the hook.
I have.
Now, why would a nice-looking
guy like you want to see him?
Why?
I asked first.
Business.
You don't look
as if you need it.
I don't follow.
Be cagey. Do I care?
Take your glasses off.
You're beautiful.
Who shall I say called?
Don't.
Okay.
What's your name?
Eddie, Fast Eddie.
Call again, Fast Eddie.
I will.
Any evening about 6:00.
Why?
We close then.
Besides, I blossom
in the evenings.
Rain from the tears
in my eyes
You'll never know
that I still love you so
Though the heartaches remain
I'll do my cryin'
in the rain
Raindrops fallin'
from heaven
Could never wash away
my misery
But since
we're not together
I haven't had them off
since Buddy Holly died.
Mal Conway!
Eddie Ginley.
Bum.
Bum.
Jerry Lee Lewis!
Little Richard!
Elvis Presley!
(BOTH LAUGHING)
78s!
Playing them all night,
drove my mother mad!
How long have you
been down here?
Five years now.
Why did you come?
Me mother sold me guitar.
Sold her kid's guitar, eh?
Well, I was 25.
Are you living
down here now, Eddie?
No, just on a visit.
Did you ever marry that bird?
What was her name?
No. You?
Married.
Do you collect them?
Yeah, for me lad.
Your lad, eh?
Who is it?
Police?
Yeah, open the door.
You don't look like the law.
This is law enough, fella.
Okay.
(GRUNTS)
Lock it.
I've only books here.
No money.
Books on the occult.
No novels.
EDDIE: Who's downstairs?
I'm here on me own.
Move.
Down.
This yours?
Looks like it.
Is it your label
or isn't it?
Yes.
I got that in Liverpool.
How did it get there?
Did you buy it?
Hmm.
Did I buy it?
Did I buy what?
Wrapper.
What would be in it?
A book.
Package.
Of what?
Stuff.
What stuff?
You're not the law, then?
I'm not the law.
What was that card
you showed me, then?
Me dole card.
What was the stuff?
I'll get you some.
Drugs?
Didn't you know? Honest?
What is it?
What is it?
Heroin.
Who... Who did you
send it to in Liverpool?
Sit down!
(GRUNTING)
Who?
You're not gonna use that.
(GUN CLICKS)
I don't know his name.
I just send the stuff
Red Star to Lime Street.
He picks it up at the station.
I just mark it Atlantis,
care of the station.
Isn't that risky?
Sure it's risky,
but it's safer than...
When are you
sending the next lot?
I've just come back
from the station.
(SHUSHING)
(DOOR CLICKING)
I shan't be...
I said shut up!
(GRUNTING)
Silly, Eddie. Very silly.
I'm a pro.
I keep telling you.
You stuck
that spade in my flat.
They did it.
They're not professionals.
The money. Come on!
I'll go away.
Give me the money,
I'll go away.
I'd like to believe that.
You never bloody listen.
I've been trying to tell you.
I've not been paid
for you, only for the girl.
I got the girl,
now I want the money.
Just a job,
like any other.
A thousand before,
a thousand after.
A job, a few potatoes,
like the next guy.
You make a living.
They give you a name.
You do the job.
You get paid.
It's nobody you know.
It's impersonal.
It's not impersonal now.
It's been a hard day
for both of us.
I said it's not
impersonal now!
I know it isn't.
I know you now.
I wouldn't enjoy
knocking you off, Eddie,
but I would do it
all the same.
Impersonal or not.
What a way to make a living.
I get by.
Get by without me.
Tell me, Eddie.
What's in this for you?
Why did you show up
at the hotel?
Why are you being so obtuse?
It's the curse of
the Ginleys. We never
know when we're licked.
Can I ask you
something, John?
Anything, Eddie.
Will you take your bloody hand
off me knee? Get off!
Get away from me.
It's disgusting!
You come down
to London for a day out.
Somebody sits
next to you on the tube.
The next thing you know,
he's got his hand
on your thigh!
It's not going to stop here.
I'm gonna write to my MP
about this because...
EDDIE: Put the gat down, baby.
None of your business
practices with me.
Webley, air pistol,
just about hit a stationary
bus at three feet.
You pack a mean rod, sheriff.
I didn't see you
grab a phone, Willy.
Call the fuzz.
No wonder you're seeing
a psychiatrist.
I'm amazed
he hasn't certified you.
Now you can talk
to me on equal terms.
Get your wife
down here, Willy.
Come on. Come on. Come on.
The voice, William.
The voice!
Ellen!
Ellen!
ELLEN: All right!
Why did you get me
sacked from the club?
You refused to take
that ad out of the paper.
What do you do if someone
treads on your toes
on the bus, Willy?
Have his feet amputated?
I don't travel on buses.
Ask a stupid question,
you get a civil answer.
Come in. Prowl around.
Now all the family's together,
we can all have tea.
ELLEN: But what is this?
EDDIE:
Pour the tea, Ellen.
I'll fix you, Eddie.
Wherever you go,
whatever you do,
I'll fix you.
I said pour the tea.
Okay.
Now I'm gonna tell you
a tale, William, that'll
make your piggy eyes pop.
Ellen here, dear old Ellen
waves me off to London
with the news that
there's a body in my bath.
She told me.
Yeah, yeah, sure.
What wife wouldn't?
Now William, you'd sell
cancer to a dying man,
but you wouldn't plant a stiff
on your own brother.
I'd get rid of it
for him, though.
Don't look
so surprised, Eddie.
"William helping me?"
Yes, Eddie.
William helping you.
Was there really a body?
Yes, Eddie, there really was.
Ellen was terrified.
She phoned me.
Begged me to help you.
I helped.
It cost me 200 bloody quid
to get rid of it.
Why?
Because you're my brother.
I hate every inch
of your crawling frame,
but you're my sodding brother.
Thanks a million.
News item number two.
A guy in London
tried to kill me.
He'll have to take
his place in the queue.
Like I always say,
a bit of sentiment
never hurt anyone.
Thanks for the tea.
Oh...
There's still one thing
I don't understand, Inspector.
The guy who tried
to kill me had followed me
from Liverpool.
The only person who knew
I was gonna be in London
was your missus.
You're the gumshoe, Eddie.
I'm just a messenger boy,
remember? I do the dirty work.
Thanks, schmuck.
You're all heart, Eddie.
It runs in the family.
Are you looking for this?
Yeah!
Move an inch, fat man,
and I'll yell "copper."
I've got a carton of junk.
You want money?
A name.
What?
Yours.
De Fries.
You want to be careful.
Anyone can pick up
a parcel at a Red Star office.
I'll remember.
You gave me a gun
at the Plaza.
Eddie Ginley.
Johannesburg.
You a traveling man,
Mr. De Fries?
Give me the carton, Ginley.
Soon as I have
a few answers.
Please give me the carton.
I'll pour it down the can.
I trailed this carton
to London, the Atlantis.
Straker trailed me there.
He tried to knock me off,
but he didn't have the speed.
He fingered you.
The Atlantis is
your connection, slim.
How did you know
I was gonna be there?
I was told.
Only my sister-in-law knew
I was gonna be in London.
Did she tell you?
No.
No, but you know her,
don't you?
We met at receptions.
Yeah? What receptions?
Chamber of Commerce.
If she didn't
tell you, who did?
The others.
What others? The junk goes
down the john! What others?
Mrs. Blankerscoon.
The American dame.
Yes, yes. Yes.
With the phony job?
Yeah, yeah.
Where's Alison Wyatt?
She's quite safe.
Yeah, what do they
want her for?
To get her back to Africa.
Her father's
organizing the blacks!
Where have they taken her?
I don't know that.
Where? Come on!
I don't know!
Why didn't they tell you?
They suspect me.
I gave you the gun.
They think
I'm double-crossing them.
I swear she's safe.
Now they've got the girl,
her father will
give himself up.
How do you know she's safe?
I just know.
Are they gonna kill her
like the spade?
He was a black
who got in the way.
People get in my way
every day, fat man.
I don't go around
killing them.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
The bathroom.
Come on, Ginley!
They'll kill me
if they even smell
you've been here.
Remember, fat man,
I've got your junk.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
DE FRIES: Come in.
BLANKERSCOON: Here it is.
Where did you get it?
Easier than you think, Jacob.
CLIFFORD: Can't you
do it next door?
For God's sake,
don't look, then.
Give me the ampoule.
Take the suitcases
down, Clifford.
(SIGHS)
(DOOR OPENING)
He's finished. I want
the girl at the house tonight.
CLIFFORD:
What time do we leave?
5:45 in the morning.
What about him?
DE FRIES:
We're really going home?
Yes, Jacob,
we're really going home.
Now, Clifford and I
are going to pack,
and then we'll be right back.
You look positively beatific.
Ginley! Eddie!
My old friend Eddie!
Okay, De Fries,
you're going home.
Do you know any good stories?
Where is home?
Johannesburg? A few.
Now, where's
the girl being kept,
and where's the house?
(HUMMING)
Come on, junk collector!
Okay, you're a musical guy.
Now, where's
the girl and the house?
Get out, Ginley! Get out!
Come on!
I don't need you now.
I'm going home.
Come on!
Echo? Give me the news desk.
Now listen, I'll say this once
and once only, right?
8 Bedford Street, Liverpool.
Bedford Street!
I saw a guy murdered, yeah.
Yeah, he was an addict.
A drug addict.
But I think it was
pure heroin that killed him.
We're closed!
Is that your coat?
Yeah.
Put it on.
Who are you?
Board of Trade.
Well, what do you want?
We have powers of search.
You don't look like
the Board of Trade to me.
We're changing the image.
Would you sit down, please?
Oh wait, you've got
something in your eye.
No, don't touch it.
Don't touch it.
Leave it to me, relax.
Close your eyes.
I'm Anne Scott.
I'm all shook up.
What's your name?
Modeling. Clay Modeling.
I don't think
I fancy you, Modeling.
Work on it.
I like tall men.
Well, the seven dwarves
got Snow White.
Only because
they crowded up.
You could go
on your knees for me.
On this floor?
I'll put a cushion down.
I couldn't.
Why not?
I stoop to conquer.
I don't kneel.
Mrs. Blankerscoon?
Not expected.
Where can I find her?
49 Faulkner Square.
Does she live there?
Yes, but not for long.
How come?
She's leaving tomorrow.
What time?
7:00 a.m.
How?
Boat. Huskisson Dock.
You're a Londoner?
You're a bright kid,
Modeling.
What are you doing up here?
Old story.
With a dancing troupe,
manager cleared off
with the money.
I was stranded.
In Liverpool?
In Liverpool.
That's how I got
the job in this office.
Don't be embarrassed
when we're out together.
I could walk behind you.
Oh, no.
Why not?
I like to hold hands
in the street.
So?
So, I'd feel like I was
taking you out for a walk.
Defy convention.
I'm basically Conservative.
Switch sides.
I'd rather fight than switch.
Hello, Tommy?
It's your ex-bingo caller.
Can I see you?
I need that favor.
I got a little problem here.
I can't tell you now.
Your phone might be tapped.
At the Copacabana.
So, you'd rather fight?
Honestly.
What weight are you?
Bantam.
I'm heavy.
Oh! You've got the weight.
I've got the speed.
I sometimes hit
below the belt.
Hello, kid. Yeah.
Can I see you now?
Meet me at the club, okay?
Hit below the belt, do you?
And I've got a long reach.
That's no good in a clinch.
Keep your guard up,
don't lead with
your chin and keep
throwing out those lefts.
What for?
You could get
a crack at the title.
What's a nice girl like you
doing in a heap like this?
A heap like this
costs 2,175 with extras.
You sound like your husband.
They say married couples
get to look alike.
I didn't know
they got to think alike.
You don't crack
gags anymore, Eddie.
I'm sorry.
Say something funny.
All right.
Let's run away together.
Where?
Anywhere, London.
When? To do what?
Now.
You could get a job.
Ex-comic, unskilled. You?
I could cook, sew.
And bring up expensive cars.
I've got money.
Well, we're not married.
Do we have to be?
I'm old-fashioned.
Defy convention.
(SCOFFS)
I just said that to somebody.
Okay, Eddie,
I'll lay it on the line.
William ships
guns to Africa.
Yeah, yeah.
Gardening tools to Rhodesia.
Parts for cars, chemicals,
anything they want.
It makes him
a lot of money.
So tell me something new.
Have I told you lately
that I love you?
A girl was snatched,
Alison Wyatt.
The night I turned up
at your house with a gun,
I got sicced into it.
I don't know why.
The spade in my flat dead,
he's her boyfriend bodyguard.
She's wanted back
in South Africa to flush her
old man out of the bush.
They're shipping her out.
Guess who's boxing her up?
Is this the old-style,
live for today Eddie Ginley
I'm listening to?
No, baby,
it's the new style,
weary wary
"what's all this crap
about running off together,"
slow Eddie Ginley
you're hearing.
(KNOCK ON DOOR)
Eddie! Come here.
What about that one, then?
There's a good one.
Has nobody ever noticed
that you're always
wearing the same suit
in these photographs,
and the stars all seem
to write with the same biro?
An old man's
fantasies, Eddie.
You're 42.
In the club game, you can
multiply that by three.
What's the favor?
A couple.
First one?
49 Faulkner Square.
Well?
Tell me about it.
Housebreaking, Eddie?
Second favor?
When I know
about the house.
A phone call.
I'll be in the bar.
See you.
I used to wonder why
a great-looking chick like you
used to hang around
a small-time guy like me.
That's why
I treated you badly, I guess.
I couldn't figure the angle.
Couldn't you?
No.
Perhaps I hung around you
because I liked you.
I saw him die, Ellen.
I saw a lady,
ever so much a lady,
pump him so full of junk,
it killed.
Junk?
The same lady had
a guy killed in my flat.
She also snatched a girl.
Now, where do you fit in?
For God's sake, William's
in business with them.
I meet them
at Trade receptions.
I'll take you along sometime.
They hold receptions
for sanctions busters?
Whatever next?
It's trouble, Eddie.
You could get hurt.
I've got 10 more installments
to pay before I own my hi-fi.
I want to be around
to finish paying them.
Besides, I got a lot of speed,
and I want to use it.
MAN: Okay, lads and lasses,
there's tea and cakes
at the back of the hall.
Bingo in 10 minutes' time.
Wait there.
It's okay?
Nothing known, Eddie.
Just a rented house.
None of the lads I know
have knocked it over.
Thanks, Tommy.
Of course,
now I've mentioned it,
I bet there'll be
a queue there tonight.
Don't join it.
Second favor?
A car and a driver.
That address?
Yeah.
To pipe or rumble?
Joey, he's muscle.
He fought Rommel,
and Rommel lost.
There are people
in the house I want.
You want to get in,
or you want them out?
Them out, don't care how.
Got a lighter?
Zippo.
When do you want him?
My clients are catching
the boat at 7:00
in the morning, so, say 5:30.
You want Joey
at 5:30 in the morning?
Can you keep him awake?
For you, Eddie,
he'll wear his tin hat.
You shoot good pool, Tommy.
What do you want
with me, Eddie?
I want you to give a message.
Tell Mrs. Blankerscoon
the comic's taken a back seat.
The private investigator's
back in business.
She'll understand.
I don't know what you mean.
Don't act dumb, kid.
It's too late.
"E" for "Eddie."
"E" for "Enough,"
which is what I've had.
Hello, Eddie.
Tommy said you needed help.
Ta.
Put the car
around the side
by the alley.
Right.
Emergency fire service?
Hello, fire service?
I want to report a fire
at 49 Faulkner Square.
49 Faulkner Square!
No, it's not my house!
I was just passing by,
and I saw it!
You better be quick!
What was it like
fighting Rommel, Joey?
Personally, Eddie,
I never seen the bugger.
Seen James Mason
take him off in a film once.
Couldn't stand it.
All them good Germans.
I've never been since.
No.
Wouldn't going in
be simpler?
There's too many
of them in there.
Why don't we wait
while they come out?
I want them
on me own terms.
There's no lights on.
Maybe they've gone already.
(SIREN WAILING)
MAN: Baseman 2-0 in attendance
at 49 Faulkner Square. Over.
Message begins
for 49 Faulkner Square.
False alarm, malicious.
(LOUD EXPLOSION)
Rescind that previous message!
Explosion with...
Jesus Christ!
Don't let anybody out
of the alley, Joey.
Okay, Joey,
move your heap!
Okay, Clifford, get going.
We haven't got much time
if we want to get the boat.
Do you want
a lead earring, Clifford?
BLANKERSCOON:
Don't panic, Clifford.
What do you want, Eddie?
EDDIE: Alison.
You're a lunatic, Eddie.
Yeah, but I'm covered.
I've got a psychiatric record.
How about you?
Have I got
a psychiatric record?
You should have.
You murdered De Fries.
I saw you.
I saw you fill that billiard
ball so full of junk
he rolled into the pocket
and stayed there.
He was cracking up.
He gave you that package
at the hotel with the gun.
We didn't want
the girl killed.
It was wrong.
And killing him was right?
Telling the newspapers
was also wrong, Eddie.
Lady, I phoned the papers
about De Fries,
but I didn't phone myself
to go to the Plaza.
So who else is wrong?
I've been wondering
that myself.
EDDIE:
Where did your wondering
get you, lady?
It got me to the conclusion
that I don't care.
It's none of your business.
I don't know how
you got into this, but
now you're getting out.
I'm calling the police.
None of my business?
Oh Eddie, who'll listen?
You saw an addict
kill himself.
I saw Mrs. Blankerscoon,
brunette, Caucasian,
murder Jacob De Fries.
And you didn't report it?
That's an accessory
after the fact.
You're wasting
your time, Eddie.
Okay, Alison,
we're getting out.
No, Eddie, I'm going home.
I think my ears are
on the blink, fats.
I'm going home, Eddie.
With this lot?
I live there, too.
So, what are you gonna do?
Do you think
they're gonna let you join
your father in the bush?
They've caught him.
So, they've caught him.
We've caught her.
What do you reckon on, Eddie?
To do a swap?
What happens
if we turn them in here?
The consulate
would have her sprung
in seconds flat,
apologies all around.
The fight's not here, Eddie.
Aren't you
forgetting something?
Your pal Azinge,
what about him?
You've got no shots
left to call.
EDDIE: So?
How would you like
to come with us?
What for?
Name it.
Lady, you haven't
got it to give.
Money, cars, a nice house?
Women?
The woman, Eddie.
It's a good offer. Take it.
The alternative?
WILLIAM: None.
A dead addict,
anonymous phone calls.
You're unemployed, Eddie.
Where's your pull?
That's how it is, brother.
An ex-comic.
A gone Ginley.
Precisely.
So, what's it to be?
I'm gonna need help.
You got me into this, kid.
ELLEN: What do you mean?
Come on.
You made the call
that brought me
to the hotel.
I was scared. I didn't know
what they were gonna
do to the girl!
I thought they'd call it off
if it was a mess-up!
So Eddie was to be
the grit in the wheels.
William was in it
for the business,
but the girl... Oh no.
No, that was something else.
You took me, kid.
The more I thought about it,
the more it had to be you
on the phone.
I didn't like fooling you.
Really? I loved it.
It was about as funny
as a hole in a lifeboat.
So I'm the fall guy.
I get out of the car, go home
and that's the end of it.
You've got to take
the offer, Eddie.
You can't go home.
There's a body in your flat.
(LAUGHING)
Didn't he tell you, lady?
Tell her, brother.
Tell her how
you cleared up the cadaver.
She'll enjoy it.
Stop the car, Clifford.
Okay, lady,
now I'm gonna
tell you something.
All that you've done
you shouldn't have
done to me.
But most of all,
you shouldn't have
done it to anyone.
And you can talk yourself
out of that one
when the cops get here.
As for you, Joan of Arc,
you wanna fight?
Get on a plane.
They leave every day.
(GUN FIRES)
(SIREN WAILING)
JOHN: Cup of tea?
I heard you
coming up the stair.
Sugar?
All right,
I'll marry you.
I could have been arrested.
I'd have spoken up for you.
Where's the money, Eddie?
Down at the cop-shop.
Oh, dear me.
I turned them all in, John.
What are you gonna do?
Get your gun out?
Lean on me?
What gun?
How did you expect
to get the money?
Threaten you.
With what?
Violence of the tongue.
How come they picked
a tough guy like you
to snatch the girl?
They didn't.
They picked a guy
that fell ill.
I took his place.
By God, Eddie, there's some
dodgy people about these days.
What a crummy outfit.
What a damned crummy
ramshackle outfit they were.
Gumshoe Ginley
and Slyboots Straker.
I'm not so hot,
but you're terrible.
I try, Eddie.
So, you've no money
on you then?
Not a bean.
So you couldn't lend us
a couple of quid, eh?
I'm on the dole, you bum!
You absolute Scotch bum!
You're a good lad, Eddie.
Get out.
Go on, get out.
If the fuzz ask,
I've never heard of you.
Gumshoe.
Here's looking at you, kid.
(BABY, YOU'RE GOOD FOR ME
PLAYING)
Well, you can call me
what you like
But, baby,
don't you say I'm mean
There ain't a town or city
EDDIE: I was still
31 years old.
All over the city,
it was gonna be an ordinary
day for most people.
I had to get used
to living without the family.
Baby, you're good for me
Baby, you're good for me
Oh, baby, I'm good for you
Baby, I'm good for you
Baby, I'm good for you
So jump in my Cadillac
Honey, I'm coming back
Baby, you're just my size
I'm paralyzed
Baby, you're good for me
I'm a Neolithic throwback
But no one's
ever called me mad
I'm the only guy who knows
The name of every
chick I've had
I'm gonna start forgetting
'Cause you're the one
I need so bad
Baby, you're good for me
Baby, you're good for me
Baby, you're good for me
Baby, I'm good for you
Baby, I'm good for you
Baby, I'm good for you
I don't want no Mary Lou
I don't want no Peggy Sue
I don't want your money, too
Honey, I'm ape for you
Oh, you're good for me
Yeah
Had trouble
with my schooling
My teacher said
I'd never pass
Honey, she was wrong
I'm the mighty, mighty man
of the class
I have everything I want
I'm even saving you
till last
Baby, you're good for me
Baby, you're good for me
Baby, you're good for me
Baby, I'm good for you
Baby, I'm good for you
Baby, I'm good for you
I'm in a box tonight,
I'm gonna hop tonight
You're gonna wear my ring
I'm gonna shake my knees
Baby, you're good for me
Lord
You be my Peggy Sue
I don't want no Mary Lou
Yeah, man, come on