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Half Moon Street (1986)
Watch where you're going,
you silly cow! Jesus Christ. Welcome to London, Dr. Slaughter... and to the Institute for Middle Eastern Strategic Studies. Dr. Slaughter has a Ph.D. from Harvard... and comes to us after 3 years fieldwork in China. Now, I don't have to remind you... how important it is for our institute... to maintain its special relationship... with the Arab world. We're dependent upon its good will... and its generosity... for the funding of all our research projects. So think of yourselves as ambassadors... bridge builders... friends. You owe me the money, Nigel, and I want it. Ask me nicely, then. Why should I? We bought the house together. Everything is in the lawyer's hands. The divorce papers are going through. Nigel, I have to pay my rent. If you can't afford it, get something smaller. Smaller? It's a bed-sitter, Nigel. It makes our place in Peking look like a palace. You used to say your surroundings... didn't matter as long as I was around. Did I? Well, I must have been in love. Don't worry. It won't happen again. Julian, I know it's very un-British to ask this... but how do you manage? Manage? On $150 a week. You mean you're living on your Institute salary? What are you living on? My father has a small merchant bank, actually. Well, bully for you. What about the rest of us? Grants, scholarships. Lauren, it's considered to be a good job. Julian, where I come from... a good job is a job that pays well. Why don't you apply for the Kuwait field trip? What's that? Well, every year the Kuwaitis select... someone from the Institute to do field research for them. First-class travel, limitless expenses... and a little extra money. Sounds too good to be true. Why haven't you applied? I have. Last week's car bombing of yet another... Libyan exile in London, Halfif Hassan... has underlined the dangerous mood... of the unpredictable Arab leader. Because of the rising tide of terrorist violence... Lord Bulbeck, Britain's leading expert... on Middle Eastern affairs, has stepped up his contacts... among the moderate Arab states. Lord Bulbeck, the international lawyer... has been asked by the Prime Minister... and several interested parties... to come in as an impartial negotiator and observer. Lindsay! -Lindsay, come here! -What is it now? This place is really falling apart. Calm down, Lauren. Ill fix it. Lindsay, that will only hold until my next shower. You know, I do this twice a day. Why don't you just call a goddamn plumber... and really fix it? No money for a plumber, and you owe me two weeks rent. You bloodsucker, Lindsay. You could hock that video. And you, Doctor, you could hock your ass. Just call the plumber, Lindsay... or you'll have another Notting Hill riot on your hands. A white one! You didn't touch your quail. l don't eat dead animals. Do you eat them alive, Dr. Slaughter? Im a vegetarian. I guessed as much. I don't smoke, either. What do you do, Mr. Van Arkady? Oh, Im one of these boring bankers. Anglo-Arab Investment Trust. All those boring petrodollars. What do you do? Obviously, you're not a banker. Right now, Im lobbying like hell... to get on a field trip to Kuwait-- care of the Middle Eastern Institute. That's where I work. Im impressed. Don't be. We're only paid $150 a week. -That's not much. -No. If there's anything I can do-- that's what bankers are for. China? Now, that really scares me. Nine hundred million people breeding like rabbits. You're wrong, Lady Newhouse. What do you mean, Im wrong? There are over a billion now. That's official. You're both wrong. There are only 2 people in China... and I know both of them. 2 people in China? I love it. OK. If there are 2 people in China... how many are there in the world? There are 5,000 people in the world. That's it--5,000. And I suppose, Mr. Van Arkady, that you've met them all. Five thousand? That's all that counts? What about the starving millions? A million isn't a number in any real sense. There's murder in nature. Millions are dying right now-- starved, bombed, in camps. Nobody gives a damn. You may deplore it, but it's a fact. Those 5,000--who are they? How many of them are...British? Forty-five. -German? -Sixty. African? None, and more Arabs than you might think... but they're all here in London. I suppose the rest are American. And naturally, Mr. Van Arkady, you're one of the 5,000. Bien entendu. Tell me, how many are women? -Interested, aren't we? -Very. Well, since we're on the subject of women... shall we go and have our coffee? Im going to miss you. Im not going anywhere. You don't understand. You're being summoned. Ladies to the loo and baby talk... whilst we men pass the port and smoke cigars. That sucks. That's London, my dear. Julian, have you heard anything from the Kuwait Embassy? They keep giving me the run-around. -About the field trip? -Yeah. It hasn't been decided yet. About that Kuwait trip... shouldn't I write and confirm your travel dates? I suppose, yes. I didn't know it was so soon. Well, just draft a letter, and Ill sign it. Well... Good news. -Good night, Lauren. -Good night, Julian. Dr. Slaughter. This came for you. Special delivery. Thank you. This young woman earns $200 an hour. Her takings for a single week... might be several thousand pounds. She is one of a growing number of young women... who work in London's newest industry... the escort service... grossing several million pounds monthly, most of it tax-free. The Jasmine Agency has been operating... for 3 years from their offices on Pont Street. It dispatches dozens of girls... to wealthy customers all over London... every night of the year. Do you take credit cards? What's that shit you're watching? I don't believe this. He has been a mercenary in the Congo... Sounds like it's pretty funny. More than you think. This is Madame Cybele. Her last known employer was the Hotel Bristol, Beirut... though her duties there were somewhat obscure. Oh, no. Lindsay! Get out--get out of the way! I was expecting to get there... ...was sentenced to 6 years for manslaughter... and 2 years for disposing of the body. What can I get you, Love? Nothing. Lindsay, I can't take it anymore. You've got to fix that shower. Why should I fix the shower? Its your shower, too. You fix it. Lord Bulbeck, well-known international jurist... whose services have been used before... was a surprise visitor to number 10... But I don't have any money. I mean, I don't have any money. But you've got this ritzy job at some institution. Institute. Ritzy, my ass. Look at this. ''The Future of Opec, by General Sir George Newhouse.'' -I wrote this article. -It don't say that. He took my piece, he changed 3 lines... and he put his name on it. Look, man, at least you're getting paid for all of that. But they don't pay anything. What? You mean, you're doing all of that for nothing? Maybe you're not so smart after all. Hello, Id like to speak to Mr. Hugo Van Arkady, please. Who's calling, please? This is Dr. Lauren Slaughter... of the Middle Eastern Institute for Strategic Studies. Just a minute, please. -Yes. -Hi. This is Lauren Slaughter. Dr. Slaughter. We met the other night at General Newhouse's. Yes, the vegetarian. I remember very well. How are you? Im fine, thank you. Actually, I was just wondering-- you mentioned the other night... that you might be able to help me. -You need a loan? -Yes. Have you tried your local bank? No. I thought you said that-- If he turns you down, give me a call... and we'll talk about it over dinner or... maybe a quiet lunch in the country. Or even a weekend. No, thank you, Mr. Van Arkady. Ill manage. By the way, did you send me a tape? A tape? Why on earth should I send you a tape? No reason. Thank you. This young woman earns $200 an hour. Her takings for a single week... might be several thousand pounds. She is one of a growing number of young women... who work in London's newest industry... the escort service... grossing several million pounds monthly, most of it tax-free. The men are lonely, you keep them company. That's it. That's why it's not prostitution. Prostitution is lowering yourself... but this is just the opposite. Escort agencies-- the thing l like about it--no hassle. Good night. Is this your taxi, General? Yes. Can I offer you a lift? Im going to Kensington. Its on my way. Thank you. That was a terrific paper of yours in The Spectator. Ah. Well, I had some very good raw material. But not good enough to warrant a field trip to Kuwait. You're a woman in a hurry. No more than any man, General. She reminds me of...you know, that great Australian girl. You're absolutely right, but she can't go out like this. Men expect something sexier. Quelque chose qui fait bander. If you're thinking of tits in a tight dress... you have a pretty stereotyped idea... of what this job requires. Is that so? Up to you. Here's the drill. We'll keep track of your appointments, pay you cash. But once you accept the job, you go out with the guy... even he has halitosis and a triple chin. -And afterwards? -The sky's the limit. We don't want to know. Dinner's OK. For the rest... Ill see how l feel. Of course, you'll be using a pseudonym. No. Ill use my own name. That's highly irregular. Im not ashamed of what I do, Captain Twilley. Perhaps she might be available...film Americain. Good idea. A big film producer-- Floren Farvenstein from L.A. Most of our clients are regulars. You must look your best. Ill dazzle him with my wit. The bodies of 3 Iranian students... were found today in a cellar... in a disused tenement building near Brands Hatch. The Iranians, believed to be members of the Hezbollah... had been missing for several weeks... ...to disperse a mob of rampaging youths... who earlier overturned a police van and set it on fire. Police are still searching for a man... who claimed in an anonymous telephone call... that he would blow up Brixton Underground Station... if his friends were not released by midnight. Good evening, madam. -Thank you. -Thank you very much, Love. Vous parlez chinois, vraiment? C'est merveilleux. J'aimerais tellement passer la nuit avec vous. -C'est $300. -C'est beaucoup. Take it or leave it. Raw fish very good. Very health-giving. What was that with the waiter? I say you very good-looking. I thought I heard a reference to money. You speak Japanese? Im not on the menu, Mr. Matsushita. I decide what I do after dinner... and in your case, it's no. Definitely no. Eai. -Thank you. -Thank you. Excuse me, madam. Your name, please? Slaughter. Thank you, madam. Yes? You're from the Jasmine Agency? Appearances can be deceptive. Don't worry. Im naked underneath. Hi. Im Lauren Slaughter. An American. How exotic. Im Sam Weller. Nice to meet you. Give me your things. Sam Weller, huh? -Dickens, isn't it? -Yes. ''The Pickwick Papers''? What made you pick a cockney character... as a pseudonym...Lord Bulbeck? You know my real name? I see you on the box, actually. Would you like a drink before we go to dinner? Im drinking Chablis. Perrier and a slice of lemon, please. When did you stop being a radical, Lord Bulbeck? I like to think l still am. That's my father. He was injured in the General Strike in 1926. He taught you trade union organization. The practical side of it. That was my wife. She was killed in an accident. I know...in Turkey. You seem to know a lot about me. I was in China when you were putting together... the Hong Kong settlement. As a tourist? I was writing my doctorate on the Chinese economy. Oh, really? An intellectual. What was it like for you over there? Infuriating. Fascinating. I don't know, everything after China seems...anticlimactic. Did you get to know many Chinese? A few. The Chinese weren't really encouraged... to have Western friends. We were considered... spiritual pollutants. Spiritual pollutants. I had a Chinese lover for a while. Oh? Is that allowed? Not really. This is crazy. An escort agency sends me out on a date... and I end up talking to Lord Bulbeck about...China. Why don't you call me Sam? Where did you learn to do that? I can't stand helpless men who can't cook... but you can treat it as a form of courtship. OK. Tell me about your Chinese lover. Chinguay? Chinguay was considered a dissident poet. I used to sneak him into my dorm room... and put blankets up over the windows... and we'd stay up all night arguing about T.S. Eliot. Can I ask you a question? Why does somebody like you... go to the Jasmine Agency? We men are stuck with the courtship ritual... and I just don't have the time for it. I was going to ask you the same question. I need the money... and I happen to like uncomplicated sex. A lot of women need the money, but-- A lot of women like uncomplicated sex. May I? How long have you been doing this? Oh, about a couple of weeks. You're the first person Ive been able to talk to, actually. And you're going to do it again on a regular basis? Well, I haven't done too badly tonight. My dear, you should be very, very careful. You mean diseases and maniacs? Don't worry. I found a gynaecologist who teaches karate. I was referring to something completely different. -You're from Kuwait? -Mm-hmm. Im Dr. Slaughter. I was supposed to do research in your country... but Im afraid it didn't work out. -Ah, the field trip. -Yes. You must allow our government to invite you next time. Yes, of course. It would be our honour. Thank you. You know, I was very impressed by your statement... at the last Opec conference. Thank you. But Im afraid it didn't please too many people. Well, the Saudis are very sensitive about production cuts. I didn't expect to see you here. Just getting to know our Arab friends better. Which particular hat are you wearing tonight? Oh, you don't need to tell me. You're supposed to be with the wog... in the dishcloth over there. You see, I knew she would be here. This is Lauren, a dear friend. They're very generous. Have a nice evening. You're from Kuwait. Im a great admirer of your social services there. They're a model for the rest of the Gulf. And you--you're a model girl. Having fun in the Arab world, are we? The famous Dr. Slaughter from... The Middle Eastern Institute. Not the Jasmine Institute? You know the word for ''jasmine'' in my country? Yasmina. Beautiful, isn't it? What is your country? I have no country. I see. You're a Palestinian. Let me introduce Hugo Van Arkady. Of the Anglo-Arab Investment Trust. Good to see you again. I see you already know my good friend Karim Hatami. Also an investment banker? How do I describe Karim? He's a kind of...consultant. I put rich people together and make them richer. Ah, a fixer. Is he one of your 5,000? Who knows? Excuse me. Its too crowded here. But Im with the-- He won't mind. He works for me. Ive been wanting to meet the beautiful Dr. Slaughter... for a long time. Not only is she beautiful... but I am told she is very smart and very talented. I am smart, I am beautiful, I am talented? Aren't you rather overdoing it? Typical Arab overkill. Well, Im not complaining. What do you really do? I ran a magazine in Beirut once. And now? Like Arkady said, I put people together. Why, are they falling apart? That's an old Marx Brothers joke. Are you a film freak, too? I spend my life at the movies. Well, you must have a lot of time on your hands. I am an Arab playboy. Don't I look like one? Well, you're not a bit like the sheik... in John Huston's ''Beat the Devil.'' The one who tells Robert Morley, ''No, one look is...'' ''Not enough.'' Oh, Id love to see that again. Well, by a strange coincidence, I happen to have it on tape. Am I supposed to say, ''Your place or mine?'' No. These days you say, ''Betamax or VHS?'' No, one look is not enough. If you think we're the enemies of your country... the logical thing is to boot us out. How much did you find out about the girl, Haldane? Student activist, but a very independent lady. Quarrelled with the faculty, the SDS. Married briefly to a British expert on China... who's pretty left-wing. Not on our ''K'' list, though. Never has been. What does that mean? It means she's totally apolitical. Did good fieldwork in China. Got a Ph.D. at Harvard in post-Mao economics. Oh, yeah. She nearly got kicked out of China. Called the American ambassador there a sexist asshole. Why is she working at the Middle Eastern Institute... for $150 a week? She's one of those kooky Yanks who likes living abroad. So she's not working for anyone. That's right. As far as we're concerned, she's clean. Thank you, Haldane. Good-bye. Bye. Come in. You counting your money, Doc? Yeah...so I can buy my ticket out of here. Well, before you pack your bags... how about spending some of it at the races? Why not? I like horses. This is not horses. This is greyhounds. The order of finish for the second race... What are these men doing? They're indicating the odds. How do they get their information? I wish I knew. Its like a ballet. That's nothing. Wait till the show starts. -Bill. -Yeah? Let's go down and see the action. Great. You also want to size them up. I just want to see them race. Bets first. Dr. Slaughter? Yes. This is indeed a pleasure. -Is it? -Yes. Id like you to meet an old friend of mine--Bill Rafferty. -Hello. -Pleasure. This is my friend Lindsay. Lord Bulbeck. -Hello. -Hello. So you're an American. Where are you from? Originally, Evanston, Illinois... but now I live in Notting Hill Gate. Notting Hill Gate? Isn't that where they had some riots a while back? That wasn't a riot, man. That was the carnival. Sometimes it becomes a riot. Say, where can I place a bet around here? Over here. Come. I want to put some money on number 4. Not number 4, man. Number 5. How's it going? Things could be better. I know. I read the papers. So that's ''the'' William Rafferty, eh? Yes. I was showing him the real London of my youth. My father owned part of a greyhound once. A lot of doctors did. I remember coming here when I was 8. ''Let us go then, you and I...'' ''When the evening is spread out against the sky.'' What about the others? What others? Him. Harry. You'll make your own way home, sir? Yes. Good night. Its a sensational scheme, Sam, but it's risky as hell. The Arabs trust Sam... because he's delivered the goods in the past, and he's always dealt fairly with the Israelis. Its still asking a lot to expect both sides... to accept a permanent peace settlement. The timing's right. Everyone's sick of the Beirut mess... and wants a breather. No calls, Dutch. So a peace treaty's on the cards for the very first time. You pull this one off, they're going to have... to give you the Nobel Prize. HMG, don't think you can do it on your own. Its too dangerous. The vested interests lined up against you... are pretty formidable, Sam. And you're making it easy for them. Rafferty told me about the dog races-- dismissing the bodyguard, trailing around with that woman. I call that irresponsible behaviour. Don't forget, it's because Im on my own... that I stand a chance. lf my friends feel that Im just a front... for you chaps, you can forget the whole thing. OK. Tell us what you need. I want you to lay on a safe house... but I want the Arabs to sweep it for bugs themselves. That's highly irregular. That's how it's going to be. When's all this supposed to happen? September the 5th. That's my birthday. Well, then we'll have two reasons to celebrate. Hopefully. Hello. Good evening. Hello, Bulbeck. You remember Alan? Yeah. Hello, Alan. Aren't you concerned about your public image? You mean, going out with escort girls? l couldn't care less. Besides, we're not living in the fifties. So there's no such thing as...sexual blackmail? No. That went out with the Cold War. Are you sure? You probably had me checked out anyway. I didn't find the play convincing. The ending didn't work. How long was his wife locked up for, anyway? He had her put away for the rest of her life. Jesus. Let's hear it for marriage. They did horrible things to women in those days. Those days? They still do. The men I see don't want a woman. They want an object. I mean, literally, they want me to be a thing. Really? Yeah. ''Stand very still,'' they say. They want me to be a pillow... or a table... or a pet rabbit. I mean, it's ridiculous. You just can't imagine all the things they want me to do. Oh, yes, I can. Another perfect score. Ill meet you in the restaurant. All right. Are you going to stay for lunch, Will? No. I think Ill leave you two young people alone. Is she OK, Sam? You mean, can I trust her? Of course not. Never trust a woman. Sam. Smoking is stupid. Why do you do it? My father smoked all his life, and he died in his sleep... at the age of 83. What do you do if your dates smoke? I charge them double. What sort of people are they, anyway? Rich people. What do you care? No, Im interested. You weirdo. What's your sign? Virgo. Me, too. We're incompatible. Seriously, though... why do you do it? Don't you think it's rather... perverse? Its extremely perverse. Look who's talking. You met me through the Jasmine Agency. Well, that's different. Why is that different? What are you getting so moralistic about... all of a sudden? Don't put walls around me, Sam. China was full of walls. Im sick to death of them. Id think if anyone could understand... what I was doing, it would be you. Well, I think you're doing damage to yourself. Why is it damaging to me and not to you? I provide a service, you use it. Im not making a life out of it. Of course you're not. You're much too busy. You're much too important. Escort agencies were made for people like you, Sam. Quickies. No hassles. No emotional wear and tear. The Chinese have concubines. Lord Bulbeck has me. Gonbey. Its Chinese for cheers. Who said, ''Cigarette me''? Jack Lemmon in ''Front Page.'' Who wrote ''They Drive By Night?'' A. I. Bezzerides. He also wrote ''Kiss Me Deadly.'' You're really good. Karim, Ive got to go. Ive got to get home. God, it's great to have a shower that works. Hand me a towel, will you? Id give anything for a place in Central London. Halfway between me and the Institute? No. Halfway between your world and mine. I thought you were looking for a place. Well, I am. But even if you have the money, it's just not that easy. Ive been looking for weeks. I have the perfect place. You do? Here. Here? Yes. Im giving it up. Ive just taken a house in the Boltons. It has an office. Im sure the landlord has somebody lined up. He's a friend of mine. He needs someone reliable like you--an academic. When he hears that you're a Ph.D., he will flip. You can afford it. Its not that much. And Ill let you keep the furniture. Karim, why are you being so nice to me? You don't really like the sex all that much. You don't want a serious relationship. So why this? Why me? Come on, Lauren. Don't be like all those complicated American girls. I like you. You're a friend. In my country, friendship is everything. I left the rent money in the room, Lindsay. Id take you where you want to go... but this sneaky, son-of-a-bitch engine just won't start. Take care, OK? Thanks. -Did you double-check? -Yes, sir. How long will you want the safe house for? Well, I want everyone to stay there... until we've worked out a draft treaty to show the Israelis. And you really believe you can get... a positive israeli response? Probably not, but the Arabs have promised to stick around... till they get an israeli reaction. I mean, they'll meet there and then... with anyone that the Israelis send to negotiate. -Face to face? -Hello. Who's calling, please? Oh, Lauren Slaughter. -Tell her Im out. -Im sorry. Lord Bulbeck is out. Would you care to leave a message? No. Yes? How's my star performer? Twilley. What a surprise. Ever since that Arab reception, you've been in real demand. Really? You've made my day. There's a nice English boy-- called 3 times today. I told him you'd be at the Ritz this afternoon. What if I don't go? You'll ruin my reputation... and yours. What have you got that makes you so popular? Something you don't have-- brains. It doesn't take brains to get fucked. Proportion of real estate... and fast return consumer investment... has been such as to make almost no ripple... in Western financial capitals. But in my view, the West could absorb... at least twice the current rate of petrodollars... without any serious danger. And finally, there's the myth so widely held over here... that petrodollars have failed to reach... the underdeveloped countries of the Third World. In this instance, the failure is one of communication... not of intention. Uninformed public opinion, a biased media... and the atavistic fears of a Western culture... that regards all Arabs as potential enemies... have done the rest. So what are these friends of yours like? Very ''Tattler'' and ''Country Life.'' A bit hard to take sometimes, but I hope you'll like them. -Please, allow me. -No, I got it. Thank you. Sir, Ill take that. -Rex! -Maura. This must be the lovely Julia. Im not. Does that mean I have to go home? Id like to introduce Dr. Slaughter. Hi. You can call me Lauren. Id much rather call you Dr. Slaughter... if you don't mind. Slaughter is a most unusual name. It sounds like something in Trollope. I always like a little trollop in bed before l go to sleep. -Who said that? -l think it was old Harold. Hello. Im Lauren Slaughter. How do you do? Americans wear the most extraordinary things... on their feet, don't they? Felipe will show you to your room. I can hardly wait. Yes, I thought your dress looked absolutely lovely. Really beautiful. This is Dr. Slaughter. She seems to be totally preoccupied with our cat. She's a friend of Rex. Dr. Slaughter, this is Sidney and Alan Platts-Williams. How do you do? Can't think what's keeping him. If he's much longer, Felipe will have a tantrum... and the lamb will be ruined. Dr. Slaughter is new to London. And where does she live? Dr. Slaughter lives in Half Moon Street. Isnt it simply crawling with Arabs and call girls? Yes. Its also very close to the Middle Eastern Institute. I have a fellowship there. That's the organization that's financed by all those wog banks. Hugh Shuttle's boy-- what's his name? Julian. Doesn't he work there? The one who couldn't get into the F.O.? I know Julian. What's everyone doing this summer? Bumps has got his boat in Saint-Tropez. Such a bore, those people. He can't control his crew at all. He goes where they want. That sounds like him now. And then there's lbiza, but Im always saying... to George we're getting far too old. Those luscious, topless teenagers... make me feel such a frump. Have you been to lbiza? Sorry Im late, everyone. I decided to make a speech. -Hello, Rex. -Hello, sir. Sam, Id like to introduce Dr. Slaughter. Very pleased to meet you, my dear. -Oh, the famous Lord Bulbeck. -Shall we go in? Im here with someone else. You should've called the Jasmine Agency. Twilley could have found you a date. Very funny. I called you, but apparently you were out. I was unavailable. What does that mean? -Good night. -Good night. I get it. This is a setup. Really? Unfortunately, I can't get hold of you any other way. Oh, yes. Ill come by later. Ill tuck you in, and Ill explain everything. They put me in the fucking maid's room. -Oh, dear. -Ill come to you. All right. That was a very roundabout way of getting me into bed. Very roundabout and very safe. It would be so much easier in Half Moon Street. My dear, Im a security risk even coming here. You're killing yourself with that stuff. That's the least of my worries. I suppose you've been going to bed with lots of men. I haven't been in bed with anyone for weeks. You're joking. On a table, on a chair, on an exercise bike... in the bathroom, but almost never in bed. What's it like on an exercise bike? Imagination fails me. Well, they watch mostly. -Sometimes they take pictures. -And in the bathroom? Someone was shaving me. -It doesn't look as if-- -I only let him trim it. -What was he? A hairdresser? -You don't really want to know. -Were you scared? -No. Im always in control. -Am I turning you on again? -Yes. Look at the garbage these people eat. Their colons must be a mess. Sam. Yes? You know, I don't usually like... spending the night with someone... but I like it with you. Do you often get nice, young Rex to cover for you? Well, he's very devoted to me... but Ive never asked him anything like that before, no. I apologize for last night. People were beastly to you. Yes, they were. This whole country house scene is a drag. -Sam. -Yeah? Let's get the fuck out of here. Without telling my friends? Just like that? You call these assholes friends? All right. Let's go. I think you'll need these, sir. Wait a minute. That's not Bulbeck in the Rolls. Christ! We lost him. There's something we have to discuss, Sam. Security. That's Haldane's baby. They mean you, Lord Bulbeck. Why should anyone go after me? They asked me in. Not everyone wants this meeting to happen. This is hardly the place to talk about it. Milord, messieurs? Claret--anything that goes with duck. Lord Blueback always has a bottle... of Santenay '79 with his duck. Sam, he's waiting for you to decide. Oh, yeah, that will be fine, Rene, if there's any left. I always keep a bottle for Lord Blueback. He'll get my name right one day. Sam, Ive never seen you drink Perrier and lime before. Im also thinking of becoming a vegetarian. Well, it's 2:30 a.m. and our guest tonight is Frank Trebor. Now, Frank, after your third divorce... you're now a bachelor again. How does it feel? Miserable. I just feel miserable. Hi. This is 750-0360. Im out right now, but if you'll leave a message... Ill get back to you as soon as I can. Lord Bulbeck. You know this charming lady? She speaks our language perfectly. She has many talents, Ambassador. Excuse me, Mr. Ambassador. There are some people over here who would like to meet you. -Well? -Well, what? -How did it end the other night? -What night? The Connaught Grill 2 days ago. Awfully young, wasn't he, to have to go to an agency? You weren't in at 3:00 a.m. That was you who called all those times... and never left a message? How much did you charge, or was his charm sufficient? Its none of your business, is it? Mr. Van Arkady. -Hello. -How nice to see you. -Lord Bulbeck. -Hello, Hugo. I hear your conference the other day... was a terrific success. She's putting new life into the Middle Eastern Institute. An amazing performance. I want to hear all about it. Excuse us, Hugo. Mr. Van Arkady, nice to meet you. What do you think you're doing? Is he one of your clients, too? Who's that tall girl with Lord Bulbeck? Haven't you heard? He hires them by the hour. Past the museum, turn left... then you go down to the end and you'll find it, all right? How totally out of character, Sam. Im touched. I take it peace has been declared. An honourable truce. Let's go somewhere next weekend. -Its my birthday. -I know. Virgo. So it's on, OK? No Mauras, no Rexes, no Raffertys... no bodyguard, just us? Dr. Slaughter, you just got yourself a deal. Hello, Sam? Hi. Ive got everything, so where are you going to pick me up? Ive been trying to reach you all day. Something's come up. The weekend's off. Its a last-minute thing I have, really. I suppose Ill read about it in the newspapers. Oh, I certainly hope not. Listen, Ill be back on Monday. Why don't we have a quiet birthday dinner together-- just the two of us? -You mean, Half Moon Street? -Where else? Alone? That was the general idea. I can't wait. Hi. This is 750-0360. Im out right now, but if you'll leave a message... Ill get back to you as soon as l can. Hi, this is Sam. There's been a hitch. Im sorry. Im on my way to catch a plane. I have to be in Geneva next week. There's a lovely hotel on the lake nearby. Sam! Rex will arrange everything. Hello? Happy birthday, Lauren. I thought you people didn't drink. Well, this Arab does. And may the coming year fulfil all our expectations. I almost forgot. A little something for your birthday. Karim. A memento of your new life. A token of our friendship. A half moon. Oh, it's lovely. May I? How thoughtful. And here is to your Geneva trip. How did you know I was going to Geneva? ''Chateau des Contes D'Artois on Lake Geneva.'' This is yours, isn't it? ''Squash, tennis, a health spa.'' Trying to lose weight, Dr. Slaughter? And here is to your Geneva trip. How did you know I was going to Geneva? ''Chateau des Contes D'Artois on Lake Geneva.'' You have to put real punch into that swing. Gilbert Sonval. My friends call me Sonny. Maybe you should take some lessons. -I hate lessons. -Here, let me show you. Excusez-moi, Madame Weller. You are wanted on the phone. Thank you. Ill be right back. Sam? Im still in Geneva, but Ill be late. How late? Ill try and sneak out tomorrow afternoon. So, dinner tomorrow night? You better be here. You have my word. OK. How about some lunch? No, thanks. Im pooped. Im just going to go back to my room and...have an apple. Do you have two apples? Thanks for the lesson. Who is it? -That's for you. -Thank you. Now you have two apples. Bon soir! Any messages? I don't think so, madame. Oh, Im sorry. Monsieur Weller called. Thank you. -Hi. -Hi. Hey. If you're interested, there are a couple of apples left. You know, Sonny, Ive never had one before. But some women never have one, ever. I mean a spinal massage. That's enough, thanks. Would you get me a towel, please? Sonny, let's have dinner later, OK? About 8:30. -Can you ring 21, please? -Twenty-one? But he checked out two hours ago, Madame Weller. Thank you. And Dr. Slaughter's article will be published... next month in ''The Spectator.'' Now, to the diary. We've got two guest speakers next week-- His Excellency the Jordanian ambassador... and Monsieur Poinson of France... who's going to talk about Chad. Well, that about wraps it up for now... unless anybody's got anything to add or raise. Where's Dr. Slaughter's office? Im afraid she's in the conference room. Thank you. But you can't go in there. I want a word with Dr. Slaughter. Its all right, Georgie. Excuse me. That's perfectly all right, Lord Bulbeck. -What the fuck is this? -Temper, temper. Let go of me, you creep! Bonjour, Lord Bulbeck. Ravi de vous voir, Excellence. Why didn't you return my call? Because I didn't want to see you. Why didn't you call me? Geneva was so close. Why didn't you come and see me? I wanted to. It just wasn't possible. I know. ''Something came up.'' Well, same here. l got laid. Well, Im not surprised. You know what? It was fantastic. In a bathroom being shaved with people watching? That really turns you on, doesn't it? Yes. OK. Half Moon Street. -I can't. -Why not? -Security. -Bullshit. So that's the famous exercise bike. Do you want me on the bicycle? No. In the bedroom. Like lovers. Its my birthday tomorrow. I know. Virgo. Let's celebrate. Right here. Ill make dinner. Ill even bake a cake. I missed your birthday. I think I should be here for mine. Im so glad you finally came here. This place is special. You're special. Got a nice one for you tomorrow. He's been very generous in the past. Sorry, Captain. I have plans of my own tomorrow. Business or pleasure? Its personal. And it's none of your business, is it? It wouldn't take you long. I said Im busy. Too bad. Im through, Twilley. For good. Hello? Hello? Damn. Who is it? Flowers for Dr. Slaughter. Oh, great. Well, surprise, surprise. lf it isn't Sonny, the terror of the squash courts. Are you the date l turned down, or is this just a coincidence? I came to apologize. I felt very badly, about the way I was forced to leave-- not even saying good-bye. It was a sudden emergency, you know? Ive been thinking about you a great deal, Dr. Slaughter. How did you know my real name? How did you find me? You're quite famous in certain circles. Oh, really? Well, that's very nice, honey boy... but Im very busy right now, so... thank you for the flowers and the apologies... and now you are on your way. OK. You're going to kill me, aren't you? -Morning. -Good morning. -Good flight? -Fine, thanks. The Jordanians will use our helicopter, sir. The others are coming by road. -What about the neighbours? -What neighbours? No wonder we never get to see your budget estimates. What are you waiting for? Yes, this place is perfect. I take it they'll be making their own radio arrangements? There's a report just in. They tried to kill Hafiz Ali... as he was taking the plane in Damascus. -He's unhurt. -Is he still coming? -He's on his way. -You think they're onto it? Highly unlikely. Just a coincidence? I don't think so. I have to go to the bathroom. I suppose you'd want to watch. -Leave the door open. -Look. You think I can get through there? Come on. Close the door. OK. Merde! What dancer played across from Judy Garland... in ''For Me and My Gal''? Karim. What's the matter? -He tried to kill me. -There, there, there, there. Who? Police, please. Hold the line and Ill connect you. Sit down. Please. I don't understand. You were useful. I was useful? You sent that videotape? Van Arkady thought it might interest you. Van Arkady? When Van Arkady saw you at the General's party... he realized you were perfect. Imagine the headlines-- ''Lord Bulbeck found dead in love nest with call girl.'' Oh, my God. You're going to kill Sam. Killing two birds with one stone-- the man and his reputation. What if I hadn't...worked out? We would have found someone else. London is full of people like you. That's why it's so easy for us. Us? Who's us? The 5,000. Big day tomorrow, sir. Yes. Wish me luck. -Good luck, sir. -Thank you. And...happy birthday, sir. Well, thank you, Rex. Let him in. Open the door. Open the door. Sam, he's going to kill you! Is she all right? She's fine. Just fine. -Was she involved? -She didn't know a thing. Where is Lord Bulbeck? Outside. He's perfectly all right. Did he know about this? You've been under surveillance-- both of you--for some time. They're leaving the building. Stand by with ambulance. Lauren. You all right? I didn't know a thing... till just now. Phase 3 completed. Stand by for further orders. Im truly sorry. Just stay still, miss. You'll be all right. Trying to save my life again? You're incorrigible, Dr. Slaughter. Vtg |
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