Do you like your present?
Yeah.
What's wrong, Michael?
It reminds me of something.
What? What does it remind you of?
Just a dream that I had last night.
What kind of dream? Was it
a good dream or was it a bad dream?
It was a good dream.
A really good dream.
You were dressed in all white,
like a ghost.
Like a really beautiful ghost.
You were walking down this white
hallway with this big white horse...
...saying you were gonna
come and take me back home.
I wish I could take you home, honey.
I miss you there.
I miss you too.
Whenever you look at the horse,
you can think of Mommy, okay?
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Are you ticklish?
- No.
- I forgot. I thought you were.
- No, I'm not.
Yes, you are.
That's the face I wanna see.
- Okay? Cheer up.
- Okay.
- All right.
- Okay. No more gloom.
- Okay.
- Okay.
Laurie?
Laurie, is that you?
Laurie? Laurie?
Stop, stop. Stop, stop, sweetie.
Stop.
Stop. It's Sheriff Brackett.
Laurie, give me the gun.
That's it. Just give me the gun.
That's it. Easy.
Easy, sweetie. Easy.
I killed him.
The man.
I climbed in the wall, I fell.
Okay. All right, sweetie.
- Sweetie. It's okay.
- I killed him.
- I killed him.
- It's okay. It's all right. It's all right.
I want you to come with me, okay?
Please!
What is happening? Where am I?
Where am I?
We're gonna need Neuro,
Ortho, Trauma, X-ray!
Am l-? Am I gonna die?
Am I gonna die?!
Am l-? Am I gonna die?
Heads up, everybody.
Clear. Make a path.
We're losing him.
Altered mental status...
...unknown injury.
BP is 79 over 40.
On my count we're gonna move her.
Ready?
And one, two, three.
We need CBC chem panel.
Hooks.
How many?
Two.
They heavy?
What the hell happened
to this kid anyway?
I don't know. I thought it was
a car accident. I'm very confused.
At least Neurosurgery
cleared her head.
- We don't have to do anything with that.
- Right.
She's gonna need Plastic, but that's
the least of her worries right now.
- Come on.
- Pull me down the stairs.
- Lift up your end.
- Come on, pull it up.
Cut.
On three. Nice and easy.
One, two, three!
- Let's go feet first.
- Feels like he's made of lead.
Wait, wait, wait. Pick him up.
Oh, Jesus Christ.
He weighs a ton.
Looks good.
It'll hold. At least for now.
Strap him down tight.
I don't need that behemoth
banging around back there.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. This ain't
my first fucking corpse, rodeo.
Just close it up when you're done.
When the boys get him
over to county...
...make sure that
they lock the place up tight.
I don't want any surprises
till I get there in the morning.
No problem. On first sight...
...I'd say cause of death
is fairly obvious.
I'd say that there's nothing obvious
about anything that happened tonight.
Not a goddamn thing.
The son of a bitch was heavy, huh?
SiX guys to lift one stiff.
That's one for the books.
Technically, five guys and a girl.
Whatever.
Did you get a look
at the naked chick?
Man, she was F-l-N-E, fine.
Yeah. She still looked fresh.
I heard a story about
a couple of meat wagon boys...
...fucking corpses over in EsseX.
I ain't never had the urge till tonight.
Whoa, whoa, hey, hey, whoa!
Come on!
Brackett even thinks he hears you
joking about that...
...and you're out of here on your ass.
- I wouldn't ever do it.
- Oh, yeah?
- I'm just saying.
She still looked good to me.
Nice little titties hanging out.
- Come on, that's disgusting. Stop it.
- I got wood just Ziploc'ing her up.
Stop. Shut up. Please.
I'm just saying, man.
Hey.
What's the difference
between jam and jelly?
I don't know. What?
You can't jelly your cock
up a dead girl's ass.
I knew that one.
Cow! Cow!
Shit. Oh, shit.
Oh, fuck. Hooks. Hooks.
Hooks. Hooks.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck! Fuck. Fuck.
Oh, God.
Fuck. Fuck.
Fuck!
Oh, fuck!
Help me! Help me!
Hooks.
Hooks, Hooks, Hooks.
Hooks, Hooks.
Help me. Help please.
Help me.
Help. Help.
Please, help. Help me!
Help me. Hey.
So I told her. I said, "Girl, if you think
I'm letting you handle Thanksgiving...
...then I'm ordering Chinese."
Octavia, it's a pleasure that
you're embracing life this way.
- I love seeing you.
- She's bringing Miriam down.
- Not the dog!
- That yapping dog that peed...
...all over my new couch.
You are gonna have to
cook that dog for Thanksgiving.
Honey, I'm gonna leave.
- Hold down the fort.
- All right, doc.
- I'll see you tomorrow.
- Good night.
Annie?
Oh, Annie.
Oh, baby.
Oh, Annie.
Oh, Annie. Please don't die.
Please, please, please don't die.
Please, Miss Strode.
You cannot be in here.
I just wanted to sit here with her.
Please, I won't bother her.
You need to go to your own room.
- You need rest as much as she does.
- A few minutes.
Just a few minutes. Please.
Come on.
Let's get you back into bed.
You're doing good, sweetie.
Doing good. All right.
Nurse Daniels, please report to
Emergency Room A.
- You need help getting to your room?
- I'm fine.
Nurse Daniels, please report to
Emergency Room A.
Nurse, I...
I need something for my head.
Hello?
I'm getting really dizzy.
Nurse, I need something
for my head.
Help!
Help!
Help! Somebody! Please!
Help! Help!
Help, somebody!
Help, somebody!
Please!
Help!
Somebody, please.
Help me!
Help!
Help!
Oh, goddamn it.
This is just fucking great.
- Help me, please! Help me!
- Oh, my God!
What the Christ are you doing here?
You're gonna freeze your ass off
out here.
- Please! Please! Please!
- Here, easy.
- Look, just sit down. Here, here.
- Please!
Put this on before they blame me
for you catching pneumonia.
The nurse is dead. The nurse is-
No, no, it's going to be okay.
Listen, it's going to be all right.
I work here. My name is Buddy.
- Okay, it's going to be fine.
- No, it's not.
I've gotta get you back.
- Just let me go get my car, okay?
- Please! Please!
- It'll just take a second.
- No, no!
No, honey, it'll just take a second.
- Please don't leave me.
- The car is right out there.
Look, look, here. Here, here.
Just drink what's left of this
till I get back, okay?
Okay? And I promise,
I'll be back in just a second.
- No, please.
- Nobody's gonna hurt you, honey.
It'll be all right. Here,
I'm gonna lock this door, okay?
One second...
...and then I will pull up
right here, okay?
All right.
Buddy!
Buddy, please.
Buddy, please come back!
Buddy!
Buddy!
I'm sorry.
This old car doesn't always
like to start...
...especially in the rain.
Everything will be fine, okay?
No! Buddy!
Somebody! Somebody, please!
Help me! Help me, please!
No!
Come on.
He's dead.
He's fucking dead.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, God.
I am running ragged this morning.
- Morning.
- Running ragged.
Good morning.
- Did you hear Laurie last night?
- Yes, Dad.
I hear her every night. Please,
God, don't say anything to her.
I won't. I won't.
Want some egg whites?
No. I think I'm gonna get me one
of them sticky buns on the way in.
That's great. Pastry for breakfast.
Seriously, 500 calories
of sugar and shit.
I know it, I know it.
- Morning.
- Morning.
Good morning, sunshine.
- I got to go.
- Hey, slow your roll for one second.
Please do not forget
to pick up the pizza.
And whole-wheat crust.
God, Annie.
Why don't we just have them take
the cheese and put it on cardboard?
- Aren't you late?
- Cardboard's got a lot of fiber.
- And it's cheap.
- No meat.
Rough night?
Did you hear me?
Just a little.
God. Just when I think
I can get back to...
...something as simple as sleep,
it's like...
...right back at me.
Do you wanna tell me about it?
Nah.
I don't remember much.
It was a hospital one.
I haven't had one of those in a while.
Guess I know what I'll be
yakking about in therapy today.
One day at a time, babe.
One day at a time.
One fucking day at a time.
You know what, if I hear that fucking
phrase one more fucking time-
She just fucking sits there in her
fucking leather chair and judges me...
...like she's fucking God.
- It's her job, Laurie. My God.
What am I supposed to say?
Boo-fucking-hoo for you.
See? You don't fucking care.
Right, I don't fucking care.
I don't understand, Laurie.
Oh, nice. Thanks for leaving me
some coffee, Dad.
I don't know, I just- I wake up
and I feel like I can't even breathe.
They seem to be getting worse.
I'm- I'm concerned...
...but, gosh, I can't say
that I'm surprised.
I mean, it's Halloween and Halloween
is a big trigger point for you, isn't it?
Barbara...
...I know Michael Myers is dead.
I shot him in the fucking head.
I know he's not gonna come back
just because of some stupid holiday.
- Laurie, they never found his body.
- So?
So it's very hard for you
to get closure on this.
I mean, he's objectively dead
but he's living in your mind...
...and he's living in your heart
and your emotions.
So that's the reality
that we have to heal you from.
Which is why I say you're still
in recovery.
So, basically, I just have to wait
until my brain heals?
Well, let's try and help your brain
heal a little bit today, okay?
- Okay.
- Okay.
How's your relationship
with Annie going?
- Annie?
- Yeah.
Not good.
I don't know, I feel kind of shitty
by saying this, but-
She's a constant reminder.
Every time I see her face,
and I see those scars...
...I know that it's my fault.
And I get angry. And there's something
in my body that snaps.
And I get this zero to a hundred rage,
and I just wanna go up to her...
...and I just wanna- Fuck, I don't know.
- Finish the thought.
- Finish that thought. It's important.
- I'd rather not. You'll send me away.
I would never send you away. We're
here to keep you out of the hospital.
The last place you're gonna heal
is in a hospital.
What is that?
That? That's whatever you think it is
is what that is.
The theory is that this ambiguous
stimulihere will bring...
...your subconscious thoughts
into the light. Illuminate them.
So, what do you see?
White horse.
So, what does that tell you?
Am I crazy or sane?
It tells me you're a girl who likes
white horses.
The natives are getting restless.
You were supposed to
be here 45 minutes ago.
Hello. Yes, hello, darling.
No. How are you? Hello? Hello?
Damn. Hello?
Everybody has been completely briefed
on why we are here.
They know the drill
so I don't foresee any problems.
Everything is kosher,
as my people say.
I know these journalists
personally, they're cool.
Trust me, they are cool.
So I feel like this should be
really a positive eXperience...
...you know, and be really good
for the book.
Did you just mention "journalists,"
"cool" and "positive"...
...all in the same sentence
without throwing up?
- Yes, why? Is that a problem?
- It's just quite an oXymoron, my dear.
Look, can you just level with me?
Is there going to be
a problem today?
You are quite an odd one, aren't you?
I mean, look at you.
Are you color-coordinated?
Pink clogs and this orange thing.
Are you a clam digger or something?
I don't mean that in a lesbian sense.
- I think you mean "carpet muncher."
- I'm not judging. I'm not-
- Hello.
- Can we just not get personal?
Look at this. No!
Look, it's the wrong photograph!
I mean, this is old Loomis.
This is new.
Yes, well, old Loomis increases sales
by 25 percent, okay? So just-
I'm not going in there
until you get me...
...a cup of PG tips with a splash
of milk, and I want it sizzling hot.
PG what?
Tea?
We don't have time.
Fine. Fine, I'll go find you some.
- Two percent.
- Two percent.
Wow, the princess of punctuality
is a little late.
Alert the authorities.
Laurie has been replaced by a pod.
Whoa, wait, I'm early.
I worked overtime last night.
See, you're too together.
No, you gotta loosen up a little, babe.
You know, bring some anarchy
to the party.
So you're saying I can start
showing up whenever I want?
Not on my dime, sister.
You can save the slacker shit...
...for those corporate bloodsuckers
who can afford it.
That's why we're going
down the toilet.
Since 1946, this country has
been under the military-industrial-
- Fuck the man.
- Right on, sister.
You're really interested.
I know, I know.
I give in. You win.
The old man caves again.
- What's up with him?
- I don't know.
Are you gonna come
and rock balls...
...with Harley and me
at the Phantom Jam?
Hells yeah.
But I'm not sure if I'm down
with the whole costume concept.
What? Okay, wait.
Think of it like this.
It's so lame that
it's totally cool again.
Well, I still like my idea better.
What up, dick-lickers?
Could you please convince
Miss Too-Coolio-for-Schoolio...
...our costume idea is totally rad?
Dude, suck it up, ho. We got a fucking
theme going on. Don't screw it up.
Plus we got you
that sick maid outfit...
...and dudes dig the domestic.
Come on, you guys,
it's borderline drama-class nerd.
- Own it.
- What do I have to do?
Stand on this chair and show
the old hippie dude my tits?
- No.
- Oh, Meat!
- Check out my lady lumps!
- No, no.
- I'll wear it. Put down your fucking shirt.
- You give in too easy.
All right, you guys ready for it?
- For what?
- Are you ready?
Kick out the jams, motherfucker!
Michael, /'m sorry to tell you this...
... but your mother
has passed away.
She'll be back.
No, /'m afraid she won't be
coming to see you anymore.
/'ll see her again,
but / won't see you.
Ladies and gentlemen,
Dr. Samuel Loomis...
... author of The Devil Walks
Among Us, in stores October 31 st.
Thank you all and welcome.
I think you can all see quite clearly here
that Michael's psychotic perception...
...is in complete denial about his
own mother's suicide
Freud would certainly have a field day
with that little one, wouldn't he?
So it is the fate of all of us...
...to direct our first
seXual impulses towards our mothers...
...and our first murderess hatred
against our fathers.
Now, in Michael's case,
I became the surrogate father.
The last father
in a long series of fathers.
Well, has anybody
got any questions at all?
Yes, sir. Yes. Please.
You never really made it clear whether
you believe it was nurture or nature...
...that contributed
to Michael's condition.
I would like to answer it, in part,
by quoting...
...the great George Bernard Shaw...
...with a little Loomis twist
at the end.
He says: "In the arts of life,
man invents nothing.
But in the arts of death,
he outdoes nature herself...
...and produces,
by chemistry and machinery...
...all the slaughter of plague,
pestilence, famine"...
...and Michael Myers.
Well, sorry, but I like that little one.
That's my own little twist.
Yes, ma'am?
Do you feel personally responsible for
the deaths of as many as 15 victims?
I have tremendous sympathy
for all the families involved.
And do I personally feel responsible?
Ma'am, no, I do not.
And I've said that many times.
It's just awful and...
...I was very nearly a victim myself.
I'm not a psychic Sherlock Holmes
playing Superman.
Since the authorities haven't
been able to produce a body...
...do you think Michael
is alive or dead?
Will he kill again?
Here we go again.
Look, let me make things
nice and sparkling clear.
Michael Myers is fucking dead!
Now, do you brain-dead
gossip mongers...
...want me to spell it out for you?
D- E-A-D!
Michael.
Halloween is coming.
You have to get ready.
We are counting on you
to bring us home this year.
I won't let you down.
I know you won't, baby.
I love you, Mama.
I love you too, Michael.
It's that same guy who's been coming.
You seen him before?
- Yeah, it's the same bum.
- Stealing our shit.
- I'd recognize him anywhere, Daddy.
- Motherfucker.
Can't have drifters just coming in here
and taking whatever they want.
What y'all gonna do?
Hey. Hey, hey, hey.
Shut up, Ivan. We see him.
Let's do it.
You're just gonna scare him.
- Daddy, what the fuck?
- Safety.
Hey, you stupid, slimy dick.
I told you if you came on this land
again, I'd beat the fuck out of you.
What the fuck you think
you're doing here?
As big as he is dumb, man.
Look at that.
He's about 7-foot of fuck-tard.
I'm talking to you, shit-heel.
You stupid fuck!
I'm talking to you!
What's wrong with this
son of a bitch?
Give him a taste of that here.
- All right.
- Hey! No! You'll fucking kill him.
- Wanna go to jail for killing that turd?
- One more shot. Shut up!
Chris, knock it off.
- Big man.
- Oh, man.
- Come on, Daddy.
- Don't you come back, son of a bitch.
Man, that was a professional
ass-whupping there.
I'm jacked.
- You okay?
- Shut up, Ivan!
I'm so sorry. What are we gonna do,
just fucking leave him out here?
Get in the truck.
Come on now. Chop-chop.
- Get in the truck.
- I'm so sorry.
I am so sorry.
Shut up, Ivan.
Seriously.
- Jump up.
- You didn't need to...
...fucking beat him to a pulp.
- I told the guy.
- Fuck that.
Oh, my God!
Fuck!
No, Daddy!
What are you doing?
I said I was fucking sorry!
Pizza.
- Dude, you didn't get whole wheat.
- I forgot.
Anybody hungry?
- Starving like Marvin.
- Starving like Marvin.
Has anybody at this table
ever wondered...
...who Marvin is?
I mean, the original Marvin
who was starving Marvin?
- What?
- Was it-? Was it Lee Marvin?
Who's Lee Marvin?
"Who's Lee Marvin?"
Did I stutter?
Paint Your Wagon.
The Professionals. Lee Marvin.
Cat Ballou?
Cat Ballou. He was great in Cat Ballou.
I can't believe you guys haven't seen
it. He was like playing this drunk...
...but he's like the greatest gun
in the West.
At one point he's like...
...talking about being a gunslinger.
And he misses the barn.
He misses the barn completely.
I wanna thank the both of you for
making me feel as old as Methuselah.
All I know is I hope that dead, rotting
flesh didn't bump on my pineapple.
A little dead, rotting flesh
never hurt anybody.
God. Do we have to do this
every time we eat together?
We need to get you off
the animal products, Mr. B.
- Not gonna happen.
- Man was meant to eat meat.
We, all of us,
have a little bit of caveman in us.
God.
How is it possible that every father...
...perfects the art of humiliating
their offspring?
What? It's cute.
- What?
- Come on, Annie.
I'll go. I always go.
Hang on.
God.
- Here.
- Thanks.
Sorry I was such a bitch earlier.
I get it.
Okay.
Where have you been?
I've been waiting.
You know
I can't come here anymore.
My time here is over.
- You're here now.
- Michael...
...you know I'm not really here.
I wanna show you something.
All right.
I found her.
I found Boo.
My baby.
Can we be a family again?
Not yet, Michael.
Not yet.
Oh, fuck.
Come here, buddy.
So, Dr. Loomis, tell me. How long
do you plan on staying in town?
Please. Sam.
Thank you.
Well, I could stay a few eXtra days.
It depends on if there's something
or someone that motivated me.
- EXcuse me, Dr. Loomis-
- I'm in the middle of something.
Could I speak to you? Please?
- What?
- Please?
EXcuse me, my dear.
I won't be one second.
What?
Okay, I am all for selling books.
All right?
God knows I've done some things
that I'm not proud of...
...but this is disgusting.
I did not agree to this backdrop.
What's neXt?
Heading over to the cemetery...
...and dancing on
the victims' graves?
Look, I don't think you
quite understand...
...what I'm trying to accomplish here.
- Well, fair enough. I don't.
EXplain it to me.
I would really like to understand.
I'm selling the sizzle, not the steak.
- The sizzle?
- Yes.
The sizzle. It's bad taste is what it is.
It's just gonna add fuel
to the lynch mob fire.
Bad taste? Bad taste?
My God, it's business, woman!
Business.
Besides, bad taste is the petrol
that drives the American dream.
I think it's a mistake.
- Oh, yeah, you do, do you?
- Yes.
Well, when I want your opinion,
I'll beat it out of you.
Here. Now, take that and go sit in
the car. Go on. Get your ass in there.
Okay. Hi, where do you want me?
Die, you fucking bitch!
You fucking bitch!
/'m gonna fucking kill you.
/'m gonna fuck you-
Fucking die, you fucking bitch!
You fucking cunt!
Fucking bitch!
Please, Laurie, please!
You fucking-
Die, you fucking bitch!
Laurie! Laurie, Laurie, Laurie!
- You guys like Frankenstein?
- Yes.
Who likes popcorn?
So / was going through the park...
...and there was this
really crazy Frankenstein.
And he was, like, yelling at the kids.
And he was yelling at them,
like, perverted things and stuff.
And I really thought it was funny
and I stopped and watched.
And then / saw this, like, farm.
- Laurie?
- And this lady let me hold the pig.
What are you feeling
right now, Laurie?
The pig really liked me
and she said that the pig...
- Laurie?
...liked me. I wanted to take it home.
Sit down, Laurie.
Come on, Laurie.
Stay centered. What's going on?
I had this really, really,
really crazy attack.
And not while I was asleep,
while I was awake.
Look, I just need you to
prescribe me something, please.
Laurie, according to my notes,
you should have a lot of medication.
I don't. I'm out.
Look, I need you to get your magic
pen and your magic piece of paper...
...and I need you to write me up
a prescription, please.
Laurie, that's not the answer. Are
you doing your breathing eXercises?
- Breathing eXercises?
- Yes, it helps.
- Breathing eXercises aren't gonna cut it.
- They help, Laurie.
- And I can't deal with this!
- Oh, honey.
I'm not strong enough and
I'm tired of pretending that I am.
Look, Laurie, listen to me.
Stay with me.
You are so much stronger
than you think you are. You are.
- Now, go on, sit down. Sit down.
- You better fucking let me go...
...and give me
some fucking prescriptions!
I'm gonna give you some Haldol
to tide you over.
- Haldol?
- Yes, Haldol.
- It'll take some of these thoughts away.
- I don't want Haldol.
- I want my prescription!
- I'm so sorry you're going through this.
Fuck, you know what?
Fuck you and fuck this!
I'm tired of your:
"How are you, Laurie?
I'm so concerned
at 100 bucks an hour."
You know what? I would be fucking
concerned at 100 bucks an hour.
- I'm really concerned right now.
- Bullshit.
- No, it's not bullshit.
- You're more fucked up than I am...
...you crazy bitch!
For most of us, Michael Myers
is a mysterious legend of evil.
But for Dr. Samuel Loomis...
... the bogeyman is all too real.
There have been rumors circulating
as to the content of your new book.
- What can you tell me?
- Well...
... after my last encounter
with Michael...
... some startling facts
came to light...
... and / just thought that
the public ought to know.
Such as?
Read the book, as they say.
Weren't you horrified that
Michael's body went missing?
No, not really.
How you can lose a body, you
know, transporting it from A to B.
You better ask
the sheriff's department that one.
Well, do you think that the body
will reappear?
Yes, probably. You know,
somewhere it'll reappear...
... along with the Elephant Man's
bones at some sideshow.
But as my old Aunt Miri
used to say:
"Freaks will always
find their way home. "
What's up with the booze?
Oh, yeah. Meet my new best friend.
Oh, is this how
your new work friends roll?
Maybe. Jealous?
- Whatever.
- You know what Annie?
I don't need your shit.
You don't need my shit?
You don't need my shit?
I put up with your shit, 24-7.
You better back the fuck off!
Or what, huh?
The fuck are you gonna do?
You know what, you act like you're the
only one whose life got fucking trashed.
I'm so not buying
the new Laurie act.
I'm not putting up
with your moaning shit.
Get the fuck out of my room!
Get the fuck out of my room!
I'm not impressed.
Fuck!
"Hey, Howard.
Can't afford the new tits.
Can you loan me some bones?"
Fucking whore.
Hey! Hey, Misty, come here.
Come on, it's on.
Come on, it's finally on.
I'm on TV. You're missing it. Move
your ass. Come here. Look at this!
Oh, my God, baby.
Look at that. I'm incredible.
- The smile you'll have on
your face at the Rabbit /n Red...
... when you see some of my girls
dance because they are fantastic.
Hey, Howard,
where are those drinks?
Hey, boss. That's right,
they love you, man.
- That's why the whole town loves you.
- Yeah, they love me.
They love me like cancer,
that's how much.
You look like that big guy.
The shit falls on his head.
"Grandfather, I'm mad,
I'm pissed off.
Hey, where's my daughter with the
cans and the blond hair and the-?"
What are you talking about?
Yeah. Green makes you
look seXy, baby.
Green. That suits you, man.
It really suits you.
It's like the color of money.
Dumbass.
Hey, Howard, let me ask you
a question.
I got a riddle for you.
What does a stripper do with her
asshole before she dances.
I don't know.
She gives him 10 bucks
and she tells him to take out the trash!
- That's a good one.
- Here, Howard. Take out the trash.
Take out the trash, Howard.
He's good at taking out the trash.
I'm funny.
Yeah, I'm the big joke.
Hey, I'm on TV. Quiet.
Shut up. Shut up.
Enjoy the fucking herpes, old man.
- I got an aura.
- You got an aura, baby.
You have an aura.
You got two auras.
- You're so bad.
- Really?
- Auras are popping out.
- Let me see those auras.
Two-faced bitch.
Fucking Hoss. I'm fucking
Hop Sing doing all the chores.
You bitch.
"Yeah, Howard.
Can I have some money for
my dad's blood transfusion?"
What the fuck you doing, man...
...sneaking around back here?
Hey.
The boss don't like you bums
hanging out back here...
...rooting around
through the Dumpsters.
So get a move on.
Look, man.
Don't give me no reason.
I already sent
some sorry fucking jag-off...
...to the emergency room tonight.
So...
...I suggest you
take the easy road out...
...and hit the bricks, Dorothy.
Trust me...
...you filthy, dirty hippie...
...you don't wanna be doing that.
Copy that, downtown?
Fuck.
We're done waiting.
Only a river of blood can bring us
back together.
It's up to you.
It's always been up to you, Michael.
Hey, baby, you know what?
It's after midnight.
So? I don't think my pussy is gonna
turn into a pumpkin.
It's technically Halloween, baby.
How'd you like to be fucked
by the Frankenstein monster, huh?
You're my bride of Frankenstein.
Big, green, scary monster!
Oh, no. Oh, I'm so scared.
- Titties good.
- No.
Ass good.
I'm gonna give it to you good.
I'm gonna give you
my jolly green giant.
Jesus Christ!
What are you doing?
Get the fuck out of here.
Come on, get the fuck out of here,
motherfucker.
You're gonna stare me down?
Stare this down, motherfucker!
Come on now! I'll fucking blow two
holes right through your fucking mask.
I been to Nam. I'll take you out,
you hear me? I'll fucking-
What are you doing?
Open the door! No!
No! Open the door!
Son of a bitch!
You fucking did it!
Fuck, what am I gonna do?
- Hello?
- Hey, princess.
Hey, Dad. What's up?
Listen, is Laurie around?
/'d like to talk to her.
No, she left before I got up.
Why, what's up?
Well, could you do me a favor?
Could you find her
and then call me when you do?
Why? What's going on?
Sweetie, I gotta tell you
about that later.
Could you just do me
that favor, please?
- Everything okay?
- Everything is fine.
I just need to talk to her, sweetie.
Okay?
He's still out there.
Rich and famous.
All because of our pain.
/ hope he's having fun.
Are you a real redhead? Thank you.
Have a good one.
- Here you go.
- Thanks.
It's going very well, indeed.
Well done.
Yes, look at the crowd.
It's great. Great.
Right, well done.
- Thank you.
- Can you make it out to-?
- I'm sorry, I'm a little nervous. Chett.
- Calm down, calm down.
- Big deep breath.
- Thanks.
Chett Johns.
No, no, actually, you know what?
- Chett, the bringer of death.
- Okay.
That's Chett with two T's.
- Chett, the bringer of...
- The bringer of...
...death. Oh, man,
that is so awesome.
- There.
- Thanks. I wanted to let you know...
...that Michael is so much
deeper than those other guys.
Like Dahmer and that bitch Bundy...
...because he eats at the core
of the victim's soul, you know?
- How people ostracize those-
- All right. Well, thanks so much.
- You're the man.
- You're the man!
- You're the man, dude.
- Thank you.
- You're awesome. Thank you.
- Thank you.
Jesus. Well, we always have one,
don't we?
Hi. How are you?
Do you want me to sign this?
What?
You don't recognize her?
- Why? Should I?
- I'm not surprised.
Take a really good look at her.
- Oh, she's beautiful.
- She was beautiful.
This is my daughter.
Lynda.
- Your monster killed her.
- Whoa, whoa, wait.
- He butchered her.
- You have my deepest sympathy.
Do I have your deepest sympathy,
you fucking pig?
- I'm truly sorry.
- You killer.
- No, I didn't kill anyone.
- You killer!
All right, just calm down.
It's all right.
You butchered my baby. Back up!
You butchered my baby!
- Can we get somebody-?
- I'm gonna get you, Loomis.
Get your hands off me.
Get your goddamn hands off me!
It's all right. Everyone,
just calm down. Calm down.
- All right, I'm fine.
- Everything's under control.
- Son of a bitch!
- He's got a gun!
- I'm gonna kill you, Loomis!
- Jesus.
I'm gonna kill you, goddamn it!
I mean, the police said
that it wasn't even loaded, so-
Oh, I feel so much better.
All part of the job, I suppose.
Spoon-feeding drivel
to the masses.
Comes with its own bloody price,
doesn't it?
If you say so.
Just what is that tone,
Miss McDonald?
Do you think I'm crossing the line
or something?
I mean, do please feel free
to voice your opinion.
Well, off the record, yes.
Yes, actually, I think this book
crosses quite a few lines.
These are people's lives
you're toying with.
There's gonna be
serious repercussions.
Fuck.
Fuck!
Fuck! Fuck!
Fuck you, motherfucker!
Fuck!
Fuck!
Fucker!
Laurie?
Hey. Hey!
What is-?
Hey, where are you going?
I'm getting the fuck out of here.
Wait, hey! Listen, my dad called.
He was trying to find you.
Yeah, I bet he was.
Tell me you didn't know, please!
- Tell me you didn't know.
- Know what?
Fuck it. I mean, daddy's
little princess knows all, right?
What are you talking about?
Hey, stop. Calm down. Look at me.
What is going on?
Let me just call my dad, okay?
We can talk to him.
You know what?
I have a message for your dad.
Tell him that Angel says
"fuck you"!
Who is Angel? Laurie!
Hey, fucking asshole!
Fuck you!
Hey, sweetie, did you find her?
Yes. She ran in and she ran out
screaming some shit about:
"Tell your dad that Angel
says 'fuck you. "'
Who the fuck is Angel?
Fuck, fuck, fuck.
I want you to head to my house
and keep an eye on Annie for me.
Oh, boss, last year she tried
to kick me in the nuts.
You know she's not gonna like this.
Don't care what she likes.
Now head over to my place
and if she kicks you out...
...you just sit outside with a shotgun
on your lap...
...like you did last year, all right?
- Yes.
Look, can I crash here tonight,
please?
Yeah, okay.
What's up?
Look, I just found
something out that's kind of...
...freaking me the fuck out.
Okay. What is it?
I went into this bookstore...
...and I got this book and...
...inside there's a bunch of pictures-
- Check me out, man.
Fucking sick, huh?
I'm a chick dressing up as a dude
who wants to be a chick.
- Shut up.
- What? Who died?
Shit, baby,
did somebody really die?
I'm not me.
I'm not me. Do you understand
what the fuck I'm saying?
Not really.
Who are you then?
I'm Angel Myers.
Michael Myers'sister.
All right, even I wouldn't
fucking touch that joke.
You can't kid around about that shit.
- You're such a good little actress-
- I am not fucking joking!
All right, if you fucking think I'm lying,
look at this.
All right? Look.
There's me, Angel Myers.
And here's my fucked-up life.
Fuck.
Maybe it's a mistake.
Holy shit, dude.
This is fucking insane.
Our neXt guest gained infamy
as a psychologist...
...for America's leading serial killer.
"Leading serial killer"?
The most notorious.
"Leading"?
He's number one in his field.
Anyway, his new book is called
The Devil Walks Among Us...
...is available somewhere.
Welcome Dr. Samuel Loomis.
- Dr. Loomis.
- Hi, David. How are you?
- Have a seat.
- Hi, everyone.
Thank you. Thank you. Very nice.
- Mr. Weird, how are you?
- Al's good.
Great.
Now, you've been criticized
and in some circles...
...outright accused of profiteering
off the misery of others.
I mean, how do you even
respond to that criticism?
Well, you know, I think that's
completely unfounded.
I always get permission
when I do the parody.
No, Al, I was talking to Loomis.
Oh, I'm sorry. Go ahead.
No, no, no, please.
It was fascinating, your answer.
- Your turn. I'm done.
- If you've got something...
Actually, I take great issue
with that statement.
Besides, I might say that I've endured
quite a lot of misery of my own...
...in order to tell this story.
Yeah, everyone feels
real bad for you eXcept-
I have never ever been
so humiliated in all my life!
- You were fantastic. Trust me.
- Nonsense!
- Good night. Thank you.
- Thank you.
- Trick or treat.
- Here you go.
- Thank you.
- Thank you.
Are you a giant?
Can we be friends?
Mark, come on.
Don't talk to strangers.
Bye.
/ wanna party. /'ve spent
my whole fucking life being good...
... and look where it's gotten me.
Fucking nowhere.
Fuck it, you guys.
Are you guys with me or not?
I just- I think that
we should stay back.
I mean, what you need
is a mellow night.
- No, I don't.
- Yeah, definitely. We can just...
...watch TV or something.
Yeah, like, order some food...
...and figure all this shit out.
I want...
...to go party!
I wanna fucking get drunk.
I don't fucking care anymore.
I want to fucking party!
- I wanna party.
- Well, you know me. I'm totally in.
Come on, she wants to party.
- Please?
- Oh, please?
Come on. Come on, boo-boo,
please?
All right, all right, all right. Fine.
- Has to be a chill night, though.
- Okay, a chill night.
What the fuck? Andy, are you seriously
planning on standing here all night?
- This is ridiculous.
- Hey, I just do what the boss tells me.
Well, I'm the boss of the boss...
...and I say move your shitboX
over there, Kojak. Okay?
Don't make a federal case out of it.
Turn off the damn gumballs.
I'll do what I gotta do.
What the fuck are you
gonna do, jackhole?
- You'll find out.
- I'll find out?
I'm shaking in my boots.
Okay, why don't we get back
to the music.
I get another drink.
Good idea, huh?
Let's go. Captain Clegg
and the Night Creatures.
Yeah!
- Do you like my outfit?
- I do, I do.
What are you supposed to be?
A seXy vampire?
I'm a chick who's dressing up
as a dude who wants to be a chick.
But you are a chick, though, right?
- Watch your step.
- Put your hands...
...down my pants
and find out, Wolfman.
At this point I don't really care.
But seriously, you have a vagina?
- You're so cute.
- You're gonna like my van, though.
- You got a fucking van?
- Yeah.
It's got some drinks in there.
They're roofie-free, I swear.
A "blowjob"? Is that what you guys
call them still?
I call them "sucking a dick."
- There she is. She's a beauty.
- She is, isn't she?
I had a lot of fun in this van.
And a lot of pussy.
The Shaggin' Wagon.
It's a work of art. I like her-
What's the difference between
a jack-o'- lantern and a blond?
What?
There is no difference.
They both have a blank eXpression
and they're hollow inside.
I like them, you know what I mean?
You shut the lights off, they glow.
The ladies seem to like it.
Yeah? The ladies love it?
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
- You get laid a lot?
- I get a good amount.
Hey, hold this, Blondie.
Now Blondie and jack-o'- lantern
both have three holes.
Hey, Gianova, do the trick.
Watch this.
I love it.
You look very pretty tonight,
by the way. Very pretty.
I like your tattoos. Are they real?
- Oh, yeah. They're real.
- They're real? That's cool.
- I was thinking about getting-
- These are real too.
They are real. May I? That's-
They feel real.
- That's- That's nice. That's nice.
- That's it?
You big baby!
Go home!
- Talking's not working, okay?
- I'll shut up.
I'm gonna shut up.
Okay, look. Time out, time out.
I'll be right back.
- I'll be right back. One second.
- Where are you going?
I gotta take a piss. I'll be right back.
Don't go anywhere.
So who says I wasn't
into the water sports?
A little golden shower.
That's gross. You're a trip.
I'll be right back. I'll be right back.
Hurry the fuck up.
Fucking hurry up, dude.
Oh, my God.
No! No! No!
Oh, my God. No!
Welcome Dr. Samuel Loomis.
Thank you, thank you.
Dr. Donald Faber, who's
a noted abnormal psychologist-
He's not noted.
He says, "Nothing more
than a bloody horror show...
... showcasing Dr. Loomis'
own self-inflated ego...
... and never-ending quest
for fame and fortune. "
- Put that in your scrapbook.
- How do you swallow that?
Snap!
You got snapped on by Weird Al.
/f /'d survived a shark attack, you'd
be gushing over every gory detail.
- Begging me to show the teeth marks.
- God, no. Horrendous.
Are you telling me there's no difference
between Michael Myers and a shark?
Of course there is.
Good God, don't be ridiculous.
/'m a little confused. Are we talking
about the Austin Powers Mike Myers...
...or is this-?
- It's over.
Mya!
Mya!
Mya!
Looking for me?
Do you know where Mya is?
What do you want from me?
It's almost time
to come home, Angel.
Is she ready?
Soon.
Laurie, Laurie.
Hey, hey! It's me, it's Mya.
- Come on.
- Oh, fuck.
Step. Steppity-steppity-step.
Hey, I so wanna go back in.
- And I wanna-
- No, no, no.
- No. We're going home.
- Hey.
Where's Harley?
I don't know.
- See, we need to go back in and-
- No.
She went to go hang out with
some dude like she always does.
She'll find her way home.
Hello?
Hey, sweetie.
Seriously, Dad. Please stop calling.
- Okay?
- Okay.
I know you love me.
Oh, God. I love you too.
I'm glad you decided to come home.
Running away never solves anything.
Trust me, I've tried.
I'm sure they have their reasons
for not telling me.
Figure it out in the morning.
Hey, world!
Guess what.
I'm Michael Myers'sister!
I'm so fucked!
What am I gonna do, dude?
Just take it one day at a time.
One day at a time.
- Annie was right.
- Maybe she's a genius.
Home sweet home.
The place is, like, spinning.
- Want some tea?
- Yeah. What you got?
Blended black/green tea?
- Berry blossom-
- Yeah, berry.
- Does it have caffeine in it?
- Yeah.
No. Dude, I can't fucking read that?
Oh, yeah, it does.
It's okay. I'll sleep like a baby
after what we went through tonight.
These cookies are so good.
You should have a cookie.
It'll help soak up
all that alcohol rotting in your gut.
Don't think a cookie
is gonna save me.
My head.
What the fuck?
Annie?
Annie?
Annie?
Annie?
No, please.
Now go have some fun.
Okay.
Annie?
Annie!
- No, baby!
- Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
Mya, Mya, Mya!
I need you to calm down.
I need you to call 911. Please?
I need you to call 911.
Go! Go!
Oh, my God! Annie!
Oh, my God, baby.
Fuck.
Baby.
Oh, my God.
There's a girl in the-
She's upstairs, she's-
I don't know if she's okay. She may be
dead, but there's blood everywhere.
Stay with me.
Please stay with me. Please.
Please, I need you, okay?
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God, I need you so much.
Baby, I'm so sorry.
Mya, hurry!
I don't know. I'm on Cherrywood Road,
I'm not at home.
I'm at- Maybe it's avenue- Hold on.
Stay on the line.
It's Cherrywood, I know that.
It's- We're at 1-5-
We're at 15 Cherry-
Mya?
Mya, what's happening?!
It is him. Please go.
I'm not leaving you.
Baby, I'm gonna put you down.
- No.
- I'm gonna put you down.
No.
Okay.
Okay. Hold on, baby, hold on.
You know, Annie's gonna smell this
on my clothes and kill me.
Sheriff Brackett.
I just got a 911 phone call.
- So did you dispatch?
- Yes, sir, I did.
- So why are you telling me about it?
- Because, sir...
...the phone call
came from your house.
- No.
- Please, baby, please.
- I'm gonna stay right here.
- It's okay.
No, baby, no. I'm not leaving you.
- It's okay. Go.
- No, I'm not gonna leave you.
Baby? Baby?
Baby? Annie?
Annie? Stay with me.
Stay with me. Stay with me, baby.
Stay with me, okay?
You gotta stay with me. You gotta.
Annie, stay with me.
Annie?
Annie? Annie?
Annie?
Don't leave me, baby.
Annie.
You don't wanna go in there.
Let me handle this.
Where is she?
You don't wanna go in there, sheriff.
No.
Oh, God.
Oh, no. Annie.
Annie! God, no.
God, please.
Oh, God. No!
No!
Stop!
Stop, please!
Please stop!
Stop! Please!
Stop!
Please! Please stop!
Stop, please!
Stop!
Stop!
Stop.
Please stop. Stop, please.
Stop.
Hey.
Hey.
- Are you okay?
- He's coming. Please.
- He's coming. He's coming.
- No one's coming.
- It's okay.
- He's gonna kill me.
- Please!
- It's okay.
I gotta take you to a hospital.
We're gonna go to a hospital
and everything's okay.
It's okay. It's okay.
- Hurry.
- It's okay.
It's okay. It's okay. It's okay.
You're all right. You're all right.
It's okay.
Chief.
We got another body
up on Eagle Road.
We got a witness.
She saw a large man carrying a girl
away from a crash.
The state police believe the perp
is barricaded inside of a shack...
...just north of the crash site.
Okay.
Want me to handle it?
- I think maybe you should drive.
- Yes, sir.
People, roll out.
Going to Eagle Road.
Who are you?
You know who I am, Angel.
Now...
...repeat after me:
I love you, Mommy.
I love you, Mommy.
I love you, Mommy.
I love you, Mommy.
I love you, Mommy.
I love you, Mommy.
I love you, Mommy.
Mommy, I love you! Please!
Please don't!
Let me go! Let me go!
You are surrounded.
Come out with your hands up.
- Help! Help, please!
- I repeat.
You are surrounded.
- Come out with your hands up.
- Don't! Please!
- Purchases today to keep that
That's a big issue. When stock traders
start talking about Treasury yields...
You're an asshole.
This is breaking news.
This is Chopper 2.
/ wanna take you below.
This situation is just incredible. /
can't believe what /'m reporting, but...
... a man who police believe to be
deceased serial killer Michael Myers...
... has taken a hostage,
now identified as Laurie Strode.
Miss Strode allegedly shot
and killed Myers herself...
... after being abducted
on Halloween night.
As if this story couldn't get more
twisted, it was revealed earlier today-
God, no.
Come out with your hands up.
You're surrounded.
Tell me you got a shot, Caleb.
- No, I can't get a clean shot.
- Damn it.
In the shack. You're surrounded.
There is no escape.
Come out with your hands up.
- Waste of fucking time.
- Chief.
No sniper has a clean shot.
Hey, hey, hey! Get this vehicle out
of here. Sir, get back in the car.
- Hold this.
- Sheriff!
Sheriff.
Get up. Get up.
There's an innocent girl in there
I might have kept safe...
...but for your greedy fucking book.
I wanna shoot you.
I wanna shoot you so bad.
I wanna shoot him.
I wanna shoot him!
- I wanna fucking shoot him!
- Sheriff, please.
You son of a bitch!
You don't deserve to live.
Please, I just...
...came here because
I wanted to help.
There is nothing
that you have to say...
...that I wanna hear.
Sheriff, please.
You must trust me.
Look, this is pointless.
Michael's never gonna respond
to hostage negotiations.
Get him the fuck out of here.
Listen, I can draw him out.
I can draw him out. I need to do this.
- Let me do this.
- Get him the fuck out of here!
All right, all right!
I can walk from here, okay.
Get out of there!
Sheriff! I owe you.
- I owe you this.
- Goddamn it!
- Stand down!
- Stand down!
Michael.
She...
...needs to come with me.
- Come on.
- I can't.
He's holding me down.
What?
Listen to me, Laurie.
There's no one holding you down.
Let me go!
Listen to me, Laurie, listen! Stop!
Let me go!
Listen to me!
Stop it!
- Stop! It's all in your mind.
- No! No!
- It's all in your mind!
- Let me go!
- We are ready.
- Stop!
- It is time, Michael.
- Stop!
- Take us home.
- Stop!
Stop!
Michael, for God in hell...
Die!
Now!
Hold your fire! Hold your fire!