What, Eve? What are you gonna do?
Gonna go run and tell M-M-Matthew?
You know she will, little tattletale.
- No, I w-w-won't.
- Stutterer.
Tattletale.
- Stutterer, stutterer.
- Please, stop it, please.
She's pathetic.
Last time she tattled,
I got grounded for a week.
Cool it, Donna, you too, Sandy.
Matthew's gonna go crazy.
No one is gonna believe
you over all of us.
Stop, Donna, that's enough,
she's scared.
- What... you in love with her, Tommy?
- What?
- Whose side are you on, Tommy?
- You're such a bitch.
I'd rather be a bitch
than a s-s-stutterer.
- Let's get her.
- Come on, let's get her, go.
M-M-Matthew, p-p-please! Help me!
I can't see anything in here.
Oh, shit.
Matthew, please, help me!
Eve, I'm over here!
Follow my voice!
Where's that little bitch?
Is that you, M-M-Matthew?
I hear you, Matthew.
I see her, I see her, let's get her!
Matthew! M-M-Matthew! M-M-Matthew!
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God. Eve!
Eve!
Eve, please. Please wake up,
please wake up.
Go get help... Please,
go get help, hurry!
Oh, my God.
Eve, please, please talk to me.
Eve, oh my God, what did we do?
Hey Gene, make sure you get all
four of those wagons ready tonight.
We're gonna need all of them, not just
the ones you finished up, all right?
Sure thing, boss.
Really, is that what
your mother taught you?
Stealing, first sign of
being a serial killer.
Wanna kill women,
that what you wanna do?
Hey, Tommy, really, with the cuffs?
You know how people talk around here.
But these punks, they fight
every inch of the way... relax.
- What did he do this time?
- Pocketed a bunch of candies.
- I was gonna repay Mr. Bates.
- Shut up.
Here, take my gloves,
help Eugene out, do something.
I have my own gloves because I'm a
professional, and obviously the only person
that cares about this place and
wipe that smirk off of your face.
I hope you end up in JV hall. Great.
- Thanks, Sarah.
- Thank you.
- Let him go, Tommy.
- What?
It's my place, I'm not gonna
push the issue, let him go.
Hey... you got three hours,
you hear me?
You pay me back or
I'll put you to work.
Thank you, Mr. Bates.
- Little shit.
- Hey, let it be.
Keep letting it be and these kids,
they're gonna run all over you.
Did you try on the other side?
No, these are bags over here.
This is just like... they're all T-shirts.
- I know, did you check underneath there?
- I... I don't know, there's props, bags...
You scared the shit out of me, Gene.
Sorry, boss, I was cleaning the office.
Getting the booth ready for the tickets.
We're actually looking for a box
with the staff hoodies in it.
You haven't seen it, have you?
- Oh.
- Thank you, Rick.
No problem, boss.
- Oh.
- What, they look great.
You can't see that? I mean, honestly,
it's funny to you, isn't it?
It's not funny.
Who misspells "staff"?
Yeah, you know, give me a couple.
I'll take 'em to my brother and his friends.
That's a good idea.
- What a waste.
- All right, bye, boys.
Bye.
All right, look, Gene, I'm done.
Why don't you and Sarah finish up here.
I'm gonna go... I'm gonna go have
lunch, make a few phone calls, all right?
Yeah, just waiting for
that party tonight?
That's right, it's gonna
be a big-ass bonfire, man.
We're gonna get beer,
we're gonna get drunk off our asses.
Yeah!
Shit.
Yo, holla at your boy, bitch.
What?
All right, dick stick, we'll be there
in a bit, all right, calm down.
Douchebag! This son of a
fucking bitch right here.
He's just talking like, I don't know,
fucking creep-ass motherfucker.
Sounds like he's choking on...
Anyway, we gotta pick up
the tickets by the farm
before it gets too busy or some shit.
Don't you fucking move,
I swear to God.
What do I look like,
a hamster in a pet shop?
That's not very good
customer service.
Yeah, I reserve that kind of kindness
for actual paying customers,
not douchebags that
come for freebies.
I'm just having a thought here.
I'm thinking...
What if... what if she cut off her hair,
right, and took off those glasses.
Fixed up your face a little bit. You know,
you might actually be a hot piece of ass.
But I'm thinking, you might
have to go the whole way
and cut off your whole fucking head!
Oh, funny! You know what's even funnier?
I mean, even your boyfriends know,
the only vagina you've ever been
in is the one you came out of.
About nine months after about
a dozen other guys did.
It's so strange.
Everyone fucked your mom!
Fuck you, all right. Keep it up,
keep it up, that's funny.
- That's... fucking...
- Is there a problem here?
Yeah, this co-worker of yours is
being a real bitch about my ticket.
Really with this?
You look good down there...
like mother, like son.
Respect. R-E-S-P-E-C-T.
But... whatever,
Donna Summers, all right?
Assholes!
It's Aretha Franklin,
you piece of shit.
Otis Redding.
It was originally an Otis
Redding song, "Respect".
The party's about to begin, boys.
- Show in five.
- Yes!
Eve.
What, what? What's going on?
They're laughing at...
Who's laughing at you,
who's laughing at you?
Sit down, okay, okay.
Making fun of me...
Who is making fun of you?
- They were looking through the window.
- I can't understand what you're saying.
They were by the window and
they were laughing at me.
- Out the window, who was out the window?
- I don't know.
And they saw your face, okay, okay.
Okay, that's okay.
Hey, what happened?
She said some guys were
outside the window.
They were making fun of her
when they saw her face.
Honey, you okay?
No.
- Which window, what... - Over there,
said there were guys out there.
What happened?
We're gonna find them, okay?
Look, I don't... honestly,
I don't see anything.
Hey, Gene, why don't
you go take a look?
Go around the left,
I'll go around the other way.
- We'll take a look.
- Okay.
Hey, be careful, okay?
- Find anything?
- No.
Shine the light here.
What are you guys doing?
I need help down there.
Somebody was looking at
Eve through the window.
- What?
- While she was getting dressed.
- Shit, who was it?
- Little bastards.
- What's going on?
- Do me a favor.
Go hold the store down
until we can get there.
- Yeah.
- Nicole might be out in a little bit.
- Matt, what's going on?
- Thanks, Gene.
Somebody was watching Eve through the
window while she was trying to get dressed.
- Eve?
- Yeah. Nicole's in there.
Listen, I'm gonna call
Dr. Young, okay, all right?
He's got the castings for your face.
We're gonna make a prosthetic
in a couple of days, all right?
But I look so ugly.
- And they saw me and...
- It's okay.
- And they saw... I'm ugly.
- It's all right, no, you don't.
Are you fucking kidding me?
This better be fucking good.
Yeah, who's this?
Oh yeah, of course, I'll be there.
I'm sorry for the attitude.
You sounded like some creepy
fuck I dated. Thanks.
Come in, door's open.
- Want some?
- Have I ever said yes?
- Then why do you continue to ask?
- Sorry.
Thank you.
Wasn't sure if I was gonna
be able to get them in time.
I don't get you. You had
all day for a pot break.
I guess I got a little
ahead of myself.
Now that you're here...
maybe you can stay
and hang out a bit?
Ash, please.
You know I'm with Kate.
You know the guy that...
called about the passes?
It was really, really creepy.
Does that turn you on?
Does it...
turn... you... on?
I guess the word "sister" means
nothing around here anymore.
What do you want me to say?
Joe asked me out.
You know damn well that
I still had feelings for him.
You could've thought about
your sister for once
instead of sneaking
around with my boyfriend.
He's not your boyfriend!
And he hasn't been for months...
Jesus Christ, you dumped him!
Or did you forget that?
- And who's sneaking around?
- You are... you are sneaking around.
- How long has it been?
- I was trying to tell you...
Why don't I just go ask Ashley.
She seems to know everything.
That slut needs to keep
her shit in her mouth.
Oh, so she's a slut?
Oh God, you're pathetic.
Was this your move?
Make this sound urgent?
Oh, please, like I wanted you
here alone in my bedroom.
I saw you with your little girlfriend's
sister at Rudy's last weekend.
We were talking, we're friends.
Sure... sure.
Why are you acting like
I did this on purpose?
I... I didn't mean for this
to happen, I swear to God.
All I was trying to do was
be a good friend to him.
- I... am your sister!
- I know.
Why don't you just go
back to your married men?
- Fuck you!
- Fuck you.
- Why would you say something like...
- Oh, what a...
Hello?
No, it's her sister.
- Give me the fucking phone.
- No.
Give it to me.
- Thanks.
- Who was it?
Your stupid fucking
farm friends, okay?
Your complimentary passes
are ready, princess.
You sure it wasn't one of
your elderly "gentlemen"?
We'll see who Joe
leaves with tonight.
You know... you always
do this shit. Always.
I mean, you could've picked up the
passes tonight when you got there.
I don't even know why
I'm still friends with you.
Don't flatter yourself.
I needed to pick up the passes
because that creep-o
guy from the farm...
Nice try.
I'll see you tonight.
Your loss.
Joe?
Shit.
Joe?
Christ, fuck.
Fucking window.
Thank you, Sarah, appreciate it.
Well...
Looks like it's bandages
through the weekend.
But we'll pick up your piece on
Monday, okay? I know, sweetie.
I know, I know, I'm so sorry.
- Hey, how is she?
- Hey.
Hey, sweetie, it's okay.
It's all right. I think
it was that Rudy kid.
- It's okay. Eve.
- Okay.
- Okay.
- Eve, look.
- Eve, look, look.
- You remember your Penny doll?
And how much she meant to you?
Eve, it's gonna be okay, honey.
- I gotta head back up the store.
- Yeah, you go.
- You got her.
- I got her, go, go.
It's gonna be okay.
It's okay, I got her, go.
I think you're beautiful.
I need your help at the store, okay?
Someone's in the wrong decade.
The party has arrived!
Give them a beer! Give them
a beer, we gotta get drunk.
- Beer.
- Let's get it drunk.
- Would you like a beer?
- Yeah.
Thank you.
Give him a beer, we gotta get drunk!
Beer!
Really, guy? Why don't you
get your hands off her?
- Yo, I'm not gonna tell you twice.
- Come on, Joe, would you back off?
You need to have some respect for me.
If I see your hands on her again,
we're gonna have a problem.
Joe, can you sit down? Come on,
it's a party, just let her go.
- You can't show her a little respect?
- Relax, buddy, okay, relax.
She's a big girl,
she can take care of herself.
Yo, hey... can't we
all just get along?
- Cheers!
- That's what I'm saying.
Give me some of that, yeah.
Cheers.
Fuck yeah, booyah.
I'm fucking cold. Do you have a
sweater or a jacket or something?
- Please?
- Yes, all right... here.
- So demanding.
- Fuck off, Ashley.
- Nails come out on that one.
- You're such a whore.
- Here's a couple extra.
- Thank you.
Good thing your sister
fucked up the order
- and put staff with two "Ts" and an "F."
- Good call.
Isn't that how staph
infection is spelled?
Where the fuck is my weed?
Asshole.
Oh, the hostility, really?
I just smoked you out a little bit ago.
You should be nice to me.
Yeah, I will when I get my fucking shit.
I gave you 200 bucks for an ounce.
- Where the fuck is it?
- I didn't blow your money, all right?
My boy didn't show up yet.
Well, is he coming?
These are for him, all right?
- What, all those are for him?
- No, they're not all for him, douche.
- Douche?
- Ba-douche.
She wants me, man, she wants me.
Yeah, I'm sure, but listen.
When you're talking about the tickets,
can you please keep it on
the down low, all right?
Nicole will kill me if
she knew I took them.
- God, killing me with this, dude.
- I'm being serious, all right?
Why don't we all meet up at 11:30?
Go get our haunted hotel rocks off.
Yo, you did clear the party
with your sister, right?
Oh, yeah, this is cool, definitely cool.
They're not using us this year.
They're using the clown house. Next year
there's gonna be a pirate ship or something?
- It's good.
- Joe, what the fuck?
- What it... What's wrong with you guys?
- Keep touching her.
- Keep it up.
- Joe, what the fuck?
Hostility over here.
- Hey, come here, Ashley. Give me a hug.
- In your dreams.
Yeah, I'm gonna cut off your balls
until you get me my shit. I'm serious.
All right, hey, Tina! Your turn.
Baby doll, not in this lifetime.
I'll give you a kiss.
I knew you went both ways.
I don't doubt you'd make out with him.
But in the meantime, let's see some clowns?
So can we go see this new exhibit?
You guys can go ahead and have fun.
I'm terrified of clowns.
I thought it was midgets
that terrified you.
Everything freaks her out, clowns,
midgets. Belly button lint, you name it.
All right, I got one.
A midget clown chasing a stray cat.
Oh, come on, Rudy, I like cats.
That was weird.
We outta here, so where we going?
Do you guys wanna go
check out the corn maze?
Where we going? Corn maze?
Fuck me, the cornfield maze.
It's a big dead cow, come on.
All right, yo-yo-yo, I'm gonna
sit this one out, all right?
- I got my boy rolling in right now.
- Are you serious?
- No, I'll meet up with you guys later.
- I'm coming with you.
You can't... you know...
Ashley, you know you can't come.
He's gonna split if I'm not alone.
Come on.
All right, you know what, hey,
let's burn one before I go.
- Now you're talking.
- There you go, right?
Losers.
Yeah, have fun on
the magic school bus.
Enjoy your date in hell,
go ahead, real scary.
I don't know if I'm ready for this.
Oh, my God!
I'm not afraid.
- Take her, she's all yours!
- Oh, my God!
- Don't you like clowns?
- She loves clowns, don't ya?
You're such an asshole!
Look at the awesome spot I got,
come, come, come, come.
Welcome.
Ashley, you will not believe
the shit that happened to me.
Fuck happened to you?
It was...
tonight... oh, careful.
I saw Eve tonight.
Fucking seriously scary.
I saw her without the mask thing.
Scared the shit out of me.
- You scared? I don't believe it.
- No shit, man.
I'm serious, man, I'm serious.
She had the whole half the face off.
You don't wanna do that, scary.
Matthew, like, hit her
with his tractor.
You know what's weird? Is...
They keep inviting us back every
single year. Why do they do that?
I don't fucking know.
I mean... yeah, it's weird.
Yeah, Ash, I wouldn't even be here
if it wasn't for Roy and you guys.
Oh, dude.
I gotta get going.
- Okay.
- You know why.
- Text me when you're done and...
- What?
And we'll meet by the greenhouse.
The thingy with the scary moss people.
Scary moss people, they got moss
people there. Shit, I didn't even know.
I'm just gonna finish this up and I'm
gonna catch up with the other guys.
Lots of scary people,
I can stay with you.
- No need.
- No, no need?
- No, just meet me over there.
- All right.
- Get the good stuff.
- The good stuff, come on.
- I know, I'm just saying.
- I got what you need.
Sure.
- You doubt me for a second?
- Not for a second.
That hurts me. Deep down
in here... all right.
- Stay good, all right?
- Yup.
I'll meet you soon.
You're gonna miss me.
I already miss you, go!
Good, good, all right, I'm just
checking, I'm just checking.
Right up here.
Good shit, our boy is on the way.
A hook-up for a hook-up, baby.
- Yeah.
- Come on.
Hold on.
Come on, hold on.
Jerome?
- Shit!
- I scared the shit out of you.
- What the... oh, man.
- What's up, Rudy?
- How you doing?
- What the fuck is up?
It's my little cousin,
Marty, man, he's cool.
- Dap it up with him.
- What's up, dude?
Marty's becoming a man tonight.
I'm gonna get him high for the first time.
Oh, yeah, this man's getting high?
Yeah, man, off that kush.
Did you see this shit?
Aberzombie and Twitch.
- That's...
- Fuck, this place is lame.
I gotta sit the fuck down.
I just hit my leg on this dumb-ass...
He's like, yo, this is
where I got this shit.
- So what the fuck you been up to, Rudy?
- You know me.
I got this honey all up
on me, tonight, y'all.
- He's finally getting some pussy?
- Finally getting... get out of here.
'Bout time, motherfucker.
You got my weed?
Yeah, man, you know,
I'm the go-to guy.
- You know he's the go-to guy.
- The question is...
do you have the VIP tickets for
me and my cuz and the cash?
You doubt me,
do you doubt me, really?
- This 350?
- You said 300, dude, like...
I'm just fucking with you.
Just trying to make a couple extra dollars.
- I got it.
- Right?
Some kush.
Oh, no shit. You are full of it.
Yo, man... Can I smell it?
He ain't gonna know the fucking
difference. Put that shit away.
Marty, Marty.
Yo, you should be honored to be on
the first joint of his first joint.
I feel privileged, Marty.
This is how you do it,
Marty, you watch me.
- Oh, my God.
- That's that shit!
Now you tell me that's some bullshit.
Exactly. Hits you
right there, don't it?
Now, I just like...
I already showed you
what the fuck to do.
Don't embarrass me... hit it,
then go... like your mom's coming.
Hit that shit.
Virgin lungs over here.
Give me the fucking joint.
Hit it one more time!
Hit it one more time.
- No.
- Fucking virgin lungs.
All right, all right, man,
I gotta go meet Ashley, dude.
- You gonna be at the party later?
- Yeah, listen. We're gonna...
We're gonna use these VIP tickets
and hit the fucking hayride and
see what this shit is all about.
- You'll love it, you'll love it.
- You call me later.
Marty, you ready?
Marty! Motherfucker's
high off one hit, Jesus.
- To the hayride!
- Yo, catch you later, man.
All right, call me!
Eve? I heard a noise,
what's going on?
Just some of the local kids.
They left.
Are you okay?
Listen, I know what happened tonight.
And I promise you,
I'm gonna take care of it.
Tommy, don't look at me.
Hey... I am looking at you.
You're the only girl
I've ever looked at.
Listen...
We need to have a talk with
Matt and Nicole about us.
Are you sure you feel that way?
I've never been more sure about
anything in my entire life.
Listen, I gotta go.
Oh, shit.
- That was so scary.
- You're so brave. Get over here.
What are we doing in here?
- We can't do anything in here.
- Stop it.
What if somebody sees us?
Oh, my God, that was crazy.
Did you see his face in there?
Oh, my God.
Oh, hey, hey, I gotta call Patrick.
He just texted me saying...
Oh, typical, real typical.
You have a boyfriend.
- Yeah, whatever.
- Whatever, these things are so cool.
I'm gonna be right back.
- Do I look funny?
- I gotta take a piss.
Oh, my God... Wait,
where'd you... come on!
What do you think you're doing...
that's my sister, you piece of shit!
Joe! Joe, what the
fuck are you doing?!
Chill the fuck out!
That's enough!
This is the way you thank us?
We give you free tickets and you
come in here and act like a fool?
Nicole, we got a couple locals
fighting down here at the pig shack.
It's under control.
It's your step-brother again.
- I didn't do shit, I...
- Be quiet, Roy.
You know damn well if it wasn't
for Nicole, I'd call the cops.
- Touch her again, huh?
- Hey!
Yeah, man, I'm sorry.
What are you apologizing for?
My asshole brother came out
of nowhere and attacked you!
Okay, he's your brother. He saw Roy
groping your ass. I don't blame him.
Fuck off, Tina, Jesus Christ,
you're just as stupid as he is,
and I hate this damn macho shit, God!
That's enough!
Eve, take Roy and his girlfriend up to the
store and get 'em cleaned up, all right?
Hey, boss, you all right?
Yeah, just a little scuffle.
- Keep an eye on this one.
- Will do, boss.
Get out of here!
Hi. Did you find Sarah?
Yeah, I did.
- I don't know how this keeps happening.
- Maybe she had to pee.
I'm not talking about her.
I'm talking about you.
I'm used to her disappearing.
Every year, it's something with you.
Honestly, Nicole,
it wasn't his fault.
We were just holding hands
and Joe freaked out.
You were just holding hands?
Seriously?
You wonder why Matt
has a problem with you.
- I'm sorry, Nick.
- I'm going to the car to get my phone.
- Hey, wait a second, I'll go with you.
- No, please just give me some time.
I need to find Joe, I need to
give him... cool him off...
- Hey, fuck that motherfucker, all right?
- Hey, hey! Really?
Your language... I got customers
on the other side of this wall.
Sorry.
- Fine, go, text me.
- All right.
I wanna go to the corn maze.
Okay. Just be careful and
take your flashlight with you.
Please, make sure Sarah's out there.
- Yeah. Okay.
- Okay.
Do you wanna not tell my dad about this?
You know how he gets with me.
I'm not gonna say anything.
Don't tell his dad what?
What happened?
Nothing, just a big brother protecting
his not so innocent little sister.
Where's Eve?
Oh, she went to go look after Matt.
He broke up the scuffle.
I'm gonna go look for her.
You mean Matt.
- Yeah.
- Yeah... God.
Ashley?
Yo, come on. Rudy's got your weed?
You're gonna like what Rudy got you,
girl. This shit, oh my God!
Rudy, Rudy will not die
until dead pigs do fly.
Rudy, Rudy will not die
until dead pigs do fly.
Rudy, Rudy will not die
until dead pigs do fly.
Rudy, Rudy will not die
until dead pigs do fly.
Rudy, Rudy will not die
until dead pigs do fly.
Rudy, Rudy will not die
until dead pigs do fly.
All right, so you
witches like to party?
Yes.
Oh, big Rudy's got a party for you.
What's that I smell?
I like what I smell.
Smoking some weed, girls, without Rudy?
Without Rudy, there is no weed.
It's...
Ashley?
No shit, Ashley?
Damn.
Ashley.
What's up?
Rudy.
I've got a surprise for you, Rudy.
- Do you?
- Yes, I do.
- I come from the other side, Rudy.
- Yeah, the other side?
Open your mouth, show me your tongue.
Relax. Can you really feel that?
Yeah, I feel that.
- Do you know how hot you are, Rudy?
- You like that?
I want you so bad.
How you feeling, Rudy?
Yeah.
My stuff's so much better than yours.
Yeah, take it off.
Feeling it now? Feeling it now, Rudy?
You could have any girl
in the world, Rudy.
- I'm right here.
- I want you.
- I'm right here.
- I want you.
Oh, you're so hot.
Rudy, you're so hot.
Ashley?
What the fuck, Ashley?
Ashley, where'd the fuck you go?
Oh, my God.
- Fuck, Ashley?
- Hi, Rudy.
You?
Ashley's heart belongs to Joe.
- What?
- Who needs Ashley when you have me?
That's right.
You've been a bad boy, Rudy.
Time to be fucking punished.
- You'll get punished.
- Punished?
- You wanna be punished?
- Yeah.
Yeah? Yeah?
Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
Ashley's heart belongs to Joe.
What the fuck?
Blood on Joe's head will flow.
Ashley loves and Ashley dies.
Ashley's innards on the floor do lie.
What is wrong with you?
- Get in the car.
- Fuck.
- What is the matter with you?
- Joe is a fucking asshole, seriously.
He's fucking fighting with Roy again.
What the fuck is that?
- Joe again, you're always fighting
with Joe. - Well, it fucking pisses me off.
I don't know, is he trying to
impress me or Tina? Jesus Christ.
Geez, you need to calm down a little bit
and big Rudy's got a little something?
I mean, does he even like
me or does he like Tina?
- I don't know, I don't know shit about
Tina. - 'Cause it doesn't impress me.
Look, just take a little of this...
- I don't smoke pot.
- You don't smoke pot, you never smoke pot.
- You and your Christian parents...
- No, I never smoke pot.
...don't smoke pot,
'cause you're a good girl.
You're too good,
you're too good for Rudy.
- Yeah, I'm too good for Rudy, whatever.
- That's right, you follow all the rules.
Is there something wrong with you?
- It's nothing wrong with me...
- You're just high in a car by yourself.
Yes, I'm high in a car by myself,
oh, no, call the police.
I don't think I need to call them 'cause
they could just drive by any minute.
- I don't know why you're smoking in
the car. - Oh, I see, you know what?
- I could roll this up right here...
- Jesus Christ, what if Tommy comes by?
- Rudy, are you an idiot?
- Oh, please, enough with that.
- You know, really?
- No, seriously.
All right, you know what,
you want a little privacy?
You don't want this around?
You ever been on the hayride trail?
No, I've never been
on the hayride trail.
Oh, I see, so you never been
to the biohazard place.
No, I've never been to
the biohazard place.
So if you and me went
to the biohazard place,
- very secretly, very quietly...
- Very quietly.
- took a little taste, would you join me?
- Joe would kick your ass.
Joe wouldn't know about it
'cause I wouldn't tell Joe.
Fuck it, let's go smoke us some pot.
Let's go.
Goddammit, Rudy,
where the fuck are you?
Christ.
You scared me.
Okay, don't you have... someone
else to go scare now or something?
Hello?
Can you at least tell me where the
greenhouse is? I have to meet a friend th...
Very funny.
Somebody!
Somebody help me!
Please.
Please!
Help me, someone!
Rudy!
Now this is the perfect climate
to grow my weed in, bro.
- Perfect climate.
- Check it out.
Oh, shit!
Oh, shit!
This is a, Venus flytrap.
- I learned about this in school.
- It's like a penis flytrap.
- It's a giant fucking vagina.
- That's what it is, it's like a giant pussy.
A fucking man could get
lost in that thing. Jesus.
What the fuck?
- Please, help me.
- Is she real?
What are you doing? Hold on,
you crazy bitch, get off of him.
My new pants.
Is that her fucking intestines?
Oh, shit.
- Is he taking her the fuck away?
- Oh, shit.
Oh, my God,
what the fuck is going on?
- Yo, these actors here...
- Shit is real.
- ... they deserve Oscars.
- This shit is so fucking real.
Fantastic, let's go...
let's go get these guys.
Come on.
Jesus Christ.
It's a fucking mess.
- It's gonna be so fun.
- Hell, yeah.
Let's go, motherfuckers!
Will you watch your language?
All right, I'll watch
my fucking language.
- Hey, why don't you watch your tongue?
- Watch your tongue.
Oh, yo, we gotta find Ashley.
Yo, I told her I'd meet up with her.
- She's gonna be pissed.
- Oh, no.
Better pissed off than pissed on.
- That's not even funny.
- I know.
- Like, you are so stoned.
- I'm so tired.
Hey, come on, yo,
we gotta find Ashley.
I texted her, you know how
she gets, she gets crazy.
- Again? My legs feel funny.
- She get crazy in the head.
- I know...
- I think I can fly.
- Really?
- Nope, didn't work.
You sure are gone?
Look, all right,
you clearly are incapacitated.
You stay here.
I'm gonna go find Ashley.
I will bring her back here.
So you stay put, all right?
Tell Joe to come. 'Cause he
has to try this, it's so cool.
Yeah, if I see him,
I'll tell him where you are.
Okay, thank you.
- You hold onto that.
- Okay.
In case, you know, you feel like
- smoking the marijuana.
- I will hold it.
I'll call you.
All right.
You be careful,
don't move, stay here.
Watch for the hayride tractors.
Don't cross the road.
- Look both ways.
- Okay.
Don't get hurt.
I'm so tired.
Joe... that was so fast.
I... oh, I s...
I was sitting here,
my friend was right there.
I was just tired, so I was
just resting my eyes.
Rudy!
Yo, Kerone. Damn pipe just
went right through her.
Look at this place.
- All right, they're not in here, let's go.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Maybe you could stay in here with me
- for a little bit.
- But they're...
No, I mean, just, I mean...
you and me.
What are you doing?
I don't know.
- Come on, really?
- Whatever, you know...
Get this off.
Shit.
- Wait, wait, wait.
- What?
I can't.
But you were already doing it.
- What is your problem?
- I'm with Kate.
My sister is a fucking prude, okay?
Besides, we were together
long before you and her.
No. You don't wanna
date a jock, remember?
- You broke up with me.
- Oh, that was a long time ago.
Besides, some guy's
been calling her anyway.
When?
I don't know, right before we left.
He was all creepy.
And breathing hard on the phone.
She pretended she didn't
know him, yeah, right.
Wait.
- Get off.
- What?
Kate's with another guy?
What do you want me to say?
What are you doing?
Where are you going?
Hey, Joe, I didn't say he was here.
Fuck.
You came back.
I thought you would.
Just didn't think it would
take you this long.
All right, well...
What?
The cigarette? Fuck's sake,
Joe, I'm putting it out, okay?
Come here.
Let's resume.
Joe, stop it. Joe,
Joe, stop it, get off.
Get off of me, Joe, stop!
Stop it, stop it, stop it!
Oh, that was so realistic.
This is gonna be so...
- No, thank you.
- You sure? I got the good shit.
I'm sorry, I just prefer not to.
Well, what would you prefer to do?
Hey, why don't you
leave the girl alone?
Relax, man, we're just having
a good time. Marty, come here.
Hey, why don't you
leave the girl alone?
Yo, man, chill the fuck out.
Hey, yo, Joe. Hey, man.
- Yo, Kate's looking for you.
- Where the hell is she?
No, we were just at... I mean,
all of us were just hanging out
by the biohazard place on
the hayride trail, man.
- Is she still up there?
- Yeah, man, I just left her, dude.
I'm gonna go find Ashley and we
are gonna smoke us up some more.
What... smoke what?
Is Kate smoking weed?
- You gotta be fucking kidding me.
- What, she's a big girl, dude.
Listen, you stoner piece of shit.
If anything happens to her,
I'm gonna smash your ass
and smoke it, you hear me?
- Hey, man!
- What?
- What's going on?
- I don't know, dude's high-strung.
Said he wanted to smoke my ass.
I mean, what the hell is that?
- What are you on?
- What? No, I...
- I was looking for food.
- Shut up.
- And I was...
- Please, please.
- Please, just shut up.
- Guys. What's going on?
I don't know, maybe we
should call Tommy over
and see if we can figure out
what little Rudy's here on?
I didn't... I wasn't doing anything.
You didn't do anything. You're just
like your parents, you know that?
Total disregard for everything. Drinking,
smoking. It's all a joke to you, isn't it?
- No, I...
- Isn't it?
- It wasn't, it...
- Hey, guys, come on, okay?
Seriously, come on, hey, babe,
go check on Eve, all right?
She went down to the wardrobe
trailer to check on Roy and Sarah.
I need the fresh air anyway.
- I'll see if I can find Sarah too.
- Okay.
- It's getting ridiculous.
- What, just...
What was that all about?
Nothing.
What do my parents have to do with this?
Is he gonna call my dad again, he can't...
Can you just calm down for a second?
He's not gonna call anybody, okay?
- He's just upset.
- What is he so upset about?
He's upset about Eve's accident.
Why is he upset about that?
Well, you and your friends' parents
weren't the nicest kids back then, okay?
I didn't do anything.
You never do anything.
Did you do anything tonight?
I... I...
Get out of here.
- I... I...
- Get out of here.
Try to behave yourself, all right?
Where's Sarah?
Oh, she said she was gonna grab
some register tape from the shop.
Get the smoke machine, Sarah.
Get the tickets, kiss my ass.
Hello?
Somebody's in here.
Probably doing your fucking job!
Goddamn, it's so dark in this...
This is disgusting.
I should just do everybody's job here
because that's what I do... Fuck!
Are you guys serious?
I think I lost my glasses, thank you!
These stupid dummies aren't
even supposed to be in here.
They're just gonna get
dirty and fucked up.
Damn.
Oh, fuck.
Oh, come on.
Oh, God. I hate Halloween.
I'm gonna hit the Easter
bunny in the fucking head.
Biohazard.
What kind of hayride is this?
Ashley? Shit.
Ash, where you at?
Yo, Ash?
Yo, dude, come on, don't be mad,
all right? Look, I got hung up.
Fuck. Shit.
Damn.
Shit.
Joe, look, I didn't force her to smoke,
all right? She wanted to...
Hey, where is she, where's Kate?
And where's this biohazard place?
That's right, mister "hayrides suck"
doesn't know where he's going
'cause he can't ride on a wagon.
Would you shut up?
Look, when did you leave her,
and I swear if there's one hair wrong
on her head, I'm coming after you.
Just calm yourself down.
Did you call her?
Yeah, like, 50 times.
Well, maybe she passed out.
I mean, she did have a lot to smo...
She was tired and she...
- I swear, when I find you...
- Calm down, where are you?
Like some church thing?
Oh, no shit! Did you see
the floating coffin guy?
- Oh, I think he's kick-ass, dude.
- I'm gonna bad-ass you in a minute.
What's your problem, man? Come on.
All right, okay.
If you're looking at the...
church thing,
where the kick-ass
skeleton pallbearers, by the way,
that I wish I had in my
room 'cause they look...
- Look, Rudy.
- All right, whatever.
If you're looking at the church thing,
you wanna go to your right.
So it's close?
It's a ways, dude,
just... keep walking.
All right, and watch out for those crazy
assholes driving the hayride tractors.
They drive like my mother.
I'm gonna meet up with you. I'm gonna
find Ashley, and I'm gonna come your way.
Oh, yo.
Oh, shit.
Bloody chips.
This place is kick-ass every year.
Kate?
Kate?
Donna? Hi.
God, I haven't... seen you around
the farm since we were kids.
Yeah, I know.
My girls... I just wanna drop
these coats off for them.
They may have texted a little
while ago asking for them?
But they didn't tell me
where to meet them.
You know what, leave them with me,
it's okay. I'll give it to them.
- I'm sure they're gonna come this way.
- No, it's fine. I brought Kate's extra key.
Did you look in the back?
Maybe alongside the building?
Oh, okay.
Laura, I'm gonna go check
on my brother. Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine, don't worry about it.
- Okay.
What the fuck are you doing?
Get the...
It's the end of the ride
for you two clowns.
Yo!
Driver, you can go now.
- Trash is off.
- Fuck you!
I'll see you when it
goes back around.
Fucking punk!
What the fuck was that about?
- I have no fucking idea.
- I'm gonna beat his fucking ass.
Damn, it's good.
Oh, a frickin' mess, though.
What have we got here?
No food?
That's a bunch of shit
like my mother would buy.
What?
What... I'll pick up the trash, all right?
I just... that bag isn't even mine.
I didn't wanna buy that crap.
Hey, I don't mean crap.
It's not crap.
I'm just saying, man.
I'll pick everything up, all right?
Damn, fine, just slow down, man.
Get away from me, all right,
get away from me. Somebody!
What are you doing?
Get away from me, all right?
What do you want?
Help!
Stay away... stay the
fuck away from me!
What do you want?
What do you want from me?
Just get the fuck away!
Fucking crazy!
No, no, no, no.
No, no, no!
Help me, help me!
No, please, please, please...
- Shit was real as hell!
- It was so fucking real.
What the fuck is on your face, dude?
I don't know, it's part of the whole
fucking thing. This is awesome.
- This setup is fucking awesome, bro.
- This is so realistic.
- What the fuck is going on here?
- This is great.
This is fucking crazy.
Yo, does that look like
Rudy's jacket to you?
That is Rudy's fucking jacket.
Oh, he must work here.
That's how he got us the free passes!
- Oh, that's how we got in here.
- Rudy!
Hey, did you find the girls?
No, just... stopped for a breather.
Check the petting zoo, actually.
Just go up and around to the right.
- Thanks again.
- Sure, I'll see you.
Donna?
Beth.
It's so good to see you.
Oh, my goodness,
what are you doing here?
- The girls are cold.
- Ashley, too.
Haven't seen her since
the kids graduated.
Yeah, she went off to college,
she's living in those dorms.
- Mine are still at home.
- Oh.
How 'bout this place?
- My girls rave about it every year.
- I just don't get this horror th...
Beth?
Sorry about earlier. I...
I'm definitely feeling a lot better.
No, no, please, no!
Beth!
Hey, wake up. We gotta go,
we're closing up, get up.
Hey, what...
Help! Help me, please!
Oh, God, no! Leave me alone!
Donna? What's going on, it's Tommy.
Tommy. Where are my girls?
Can anyone help me?
God, my babies!
Why!?
What did they have to do with you?
Nicole, help!
Oh, my God.
Look what he's done... He's coming!
What is going on?!
He's gonna kill me, oh God!
You bastard!
- Matthew!
- You killed my babies!
Matthew!
Daddy...
No!
Here, take Penny.
No!
No!
All right, Miss Donna. I finished
my rounds and as promised,
no more TV, okay? You need to rest.
I'm gonna give you
something for the pain.
All right, and this should
put you out, okay?
And there we go.
Everything's looking good.
Monitors look good.
Thanks for being so nice to me.
You're welcome, it's our pleasure.
Now try and sleep.
Good night.