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Happy Hunting (2017)
- Hello?
Who's this? Do you speak English? Habla ingles? Habla ingles? Yeah, I'll wait. Hello? Yeah, I know her. But it's been... Shit. How did she die? No, she didn't have a kid. Why are you telling me this? Wait, wait, you sure it's mine? Look, I get that but... Isn't there anyone else you can call? Where in Mexico? Okay. Okay, I'll call you back. - What's up with you? - I get the shakes. - That happens if you go cold Turkey. - Haven't tried for a while. - How do you know this guy? - He's all right. Been working for big Dave. - I ain't never seen you before. - I ain't been around long. - How much you want for the shit? - Whatever's fair. - You hear about Randall? - What? - Fat Shirley's Randall? - No, randal from up the road. Old fucking wheelchair Randall. - Shit, yeah. How's old boy doing? - He dead. - Get the fuck out of here. - You say this is good shit? Let's see if the lady can dance. I'll put five minutes on the clock. - C'mon, tell me, man. How he dead? - Well he won the scratchers, ten grand. - No kidding. - Yeah well you know his wife? - Nah. - Fucking hot. I mean hot for Randall at least. Work down there at the soap factory. Man, ain't never any body seen her so much in love with the motherfucker. She been cooking for him, and cleaning for him, sucking on his old cripple dick from time to time. Now the only problem is, old Randall started getting real sick. Puking over the side of his wheelchair. His fucking skin's turning yellow, his hair's falling out. The genius he is, thinks it's the booze, so he goes on the wagon. But that shit ain't helping. Old Randall check himself into the hospital. Two days later, the motherfucker's dead. Doctors say they found him filled to the gills with industrial lye. - Holy shit! - Turns out his old lady been sneaking it into his food a little at a time. Stealing it from the soap factory. Angling on taking Randall's scratcher money. - Bitches, all of 'em. - Hey, you got three minutes left. The fuck kind of crank you trying to push on us, hombre? Some advil and baby laxatives shit? - That's a solid cook... - Solid cook? - Fucking bullshit. How'd you see this thing playing out? You sit the fuck down! - I'm getting big Dave down here right fucking now! - Shit! - Hey it's Warren. I'm driving. I can be at the border by Thursday. Look, I don't know exactly where I'm going. I need an address. I'll call back. - We're sorry, your call cannot be completed as dialed. Please check the number and dial again. We're sorry, your call cannot be completed as dialed. Please check the number and dial again. - This is Warren, again. Look I'm close to the border. In some motel somewhere in the middle of nowhere. I need to know where I'm going. So until you call me back, this is as far as I go. - Staying or passing through. - Just passing through. Bedford flats? - Yeah, founded by the bedford corporation. Hunting town, used to chase buffalo out on the salt flats till they ran out of steam. Something they picked up from the Indians. - Hunters, huh? - Not for a long time. - You're done, Bob. Want me to get the sheriff again? Now finish up and get on out of here. Everyone's sick of your shit. - Hey bud! Didn't catch your name. - Warren. - Steve. So are you staying or passing through? - Just passing through. - Wanted to give you my number. - Nah, it's cool. - C'mon man, this isn't some gay pick up thing. I'm not coming onto you, I just collect lost causes. That's all. - Thanks. - Sticking around for the festival? - That's what these are? - Yeah. Yeah, the kids make them. They're great, huh? - Sure. - All right, well call me anytime, bud. Day or night, okay? Warren: Look, you called me. I'm ready to head across the border, I want to help the kid. But you got to tell me where to go. Call me back. - While you're travelling America's highways and by ways. You may just want to make an unscheduled stop in a little place called bedford flats. Bedford flats is a community that cares and a community that hunts. That's right, we share our desert home with some of the most diverse wildlife in the United States. Including bison, duck, and white tailed deer. Yes, from the birds in the sky to the fish in our waters, everything is fair game. And thanks to the fishing game act of 1895 it's open season all year round, driving our little town's bustling economy. And of course, the annual bedford flats hunting festival is truly an affair for the whole family to enjoy. It's the way we've always done it, and the way we'll always do it in out little town. Tradition, without it we're nothing. - The truck's just down the road. Wallet's in the glove compartment. - I'm not supposed to... - I'll come right back. Scouts honor. Steve: Hello? - It's Warren, from the meeting. - Hey bud, about time you called. - I need help. - I am so glad you reached out. - Yeah I'm ready to make a you know, change. - Everybody gets sick and tired of being sick and tired, bud. We'll get you up and running in no time. - So have you ever served in the military? - Yeah in basic training. I mean just a few months but didn't really work out. - Can I ask what happened? - I stole a helicopter. - You can fly a helicopter? - Well like I said, it didn't really work out. - So do you exercise? - Do you work out? - Like in the gym and shit? No. - When Steve was in his disease, he didn't get off the couch. - Say you mind if i hit the head? - Just down the hall to the left. - Yeah, thank you. - Staying or passing through? - Just meeting a friend. - You didn't mention you had a kid. - I don't. - There's a bedroom. - Christopher was supposed to be his name. - Sorry? - Cheryle was pregnant. And she got so excited when the doctor told her she was gonna have a boy that she decorated the room. Decided he was gonna be a baseball player. And one night I was high, i pushed her down, she lost the baby. But I got a second chance. You ever gone cold Turkey before? Most people don't die from drinking. They die from quitting drinking, bud. That's a fact. It starts with the shakes, at least it did for me. And then your vision goes. Motor skills, thought process, seizures. Peaks at twenty-four hours. - Well I appreciate the encouragement. - Sorry. Sorry. - You shouldn't go through other people's medicine cabinets. But if there's one thing you can count on is that junkies will be junkies. Hey bud. - Damn hombre. You fucked up real proper this time. - Soon as these cuffs come off, you're fucking dead. - I shouldn't be here! I shouldn't be here! Let me out! - Well, glad you boys could make it. Warren, right? - This motherfucker stole my merch. My beef's with him. - Not my problem, friend. All right, all right. Now you boys shut the hell up. - Man fuck y'all! You hear me you crazy old prick? - Fuck you! - That's my grandson, junior. Dumb as a bucket of nails, but he sure can lay down an ass whooping. Hello bedford flats! How we feeling tonight?! We've gathered here once again to remember where we came from before the great herds died off and men of low moral character overran our gates. Men like the five we have here tonight. Bad men. In their own way, they are all a burden on our community. Never forget that we are a town of hunters. Great herds may be long gone, but we know who we are. Tradition! Without it, we're nothing. So we're going to play a game. It's not a game so we might forget our troubles, but so we might remember our past. The rules are simple. You run, we hunt you. We catch you, we kill you. That's pretty much the extent of it. Welcome to the hunt! - Please sheriff, please! I promise I won't drink anymore. - I told you to put down the bottle, I gave you chances. - I won't. - I won't! I promise not to drink anymore. - Lay down with dogs, you get up with fleas. - Look at me! I'm not going to make it! No one does! - Bob! Bob! Look at your poor folks. Look what you've done to them. People are sick of your shit! All right, all right. I'd like to introduce you to this year's hunters. First up, know him, love him, probably buy your beer from him. Here for his twelfth consecutive year, my main man, don Lincoln! Next up, I've known these three hell raisers since before they could crawl. And they were as mean then as they are now, the wakowskis! And finally, a real success story, and one of the nicest guys around. Steve Patterson, hunting with his lovely wife, Cheryl. All right now let's cut these boys loose. - Get the fuck out of my way! Get out of my way! - Seeing as the only one of you who's familiar with this whole situation, running like a bat out of hell, may I suggest you follow suit. Somebody get me a drink! - Need to have a sporting chance, bud. There's a light at the end of the tunnel. I found it, and you can too. - All right! - Woo! - Come on! It's probably horse tranquilizers and LSD but what the fuck, right? Slow it down. We got a head start. Now we should run. - Stop! Stop! I know what to do. Just hold on, i know what to do. - Looks like first blood goes to wakowski's. - Why they doing this? - It's just what we do man. It's like, like always. It brings the community together, you know? - No I don't fucking know. - Oh look man, it's once a year. It's not like an every day thing! - There's four of us. We have to split up, better odds. - I'll see you on the other side of this, I'm still gonna kill you. - Well cross that bridge when we get to it. - Yeah, we will. - Stop! - Run. - Over here! I got one! Got one! I got one! See! - Kill confirmed. - Looks like don snuck in under the wire. - He's-he's-he's all yours! Guys, i... caught him for you! Stop, stop! I caught him for you. He's-he's all yours! - Get a picture. - No man, take it long ways. - Who gives a shit?! - It looks stupid tall ways. Take it long ways, it looks fucking cinematic! - That's two. - don, you motherfucker! - Love you, honey. - Love you more. - Cheryl! - Two of 'em made it off the flats. - Well, folks, you know what that means. Looks like we're in overtime. - Might want to check on Steve and the wife. - Copy that, big don. - I'm heading out. - So what happens if you go cold Turkey? - When's the last time they off'd one of ours? - Ninety-eight, I guess. - Burton mills. - Only son of a bitch that ever hunted with his bare hands. It was a bad idea, i told him. - Shit everybody did, stubborn old bastard. That was Steve's year. Get in the car, boy! - What the fuck, dude?! - Psst. - Where are we? - That's the edge of the flats, which puts us about here. - Now what? - Straight through the border. - Mexico? - Last I checked, there was a whole town of freaks back that way. - You'll fucking shoot them, right? - There's one bullet here. Listen, Mexico it's our best bet. - That gonna be okay? - Guess we'll find out. - Dope sick or what? - Booze mostly. You take this. One bullet, don't be a dipshit. - Fuck yeah! - Hello bedford flats this is your sheriff. I'm not gonna give you a bum steer. We had some ups and downs out there today. Our boy, Bob didn't make it out. It was the best thing for him. Condolences to his folks. As most of you know, Cheryl Patterson has been pronounced dead. Steve's getting the medical attention that he needs. We'll have him back on his feet soon. But keep him in your thoughts. He'll need us more than ever when he comes to. But I can assure you that the men responsible for these vicious acts will not go free. These men are weak and poorly made. It's only a matter of time before don and the wakowski's catch up to them. And when they do, it will be painful. That's a promise. So keep your chins up, bedford flats. It's hunts like these that brings us all together. - Love you, honey. - Love you more. Cheryl! - Bring them back to me! Bring them back to me! - There's a radio! It's not doing anything. - What is that? - Ethanol. - Just leave me the fuck alone, Barney! - Steve, you're not well. - Come on, just leave me the fuck alone. - Steve? - Steve?! - We get to Mexico, what then? - Gotta be honest, as far as Mexico goes. It's a lateral move for me, might fit right in. - What do I do? - Get to juarez, find a consulate. Hope they deport you. - El Paso to outpost, anyone copy? This is El Paso, anyone copy? - Copy. - Saw the grid light up. Who am I talking to? You with parks? - No. - Forest service? - Dude, tell him! - Tell him! Tell him! - Stop, would you believe us? We're backpackers. - You're way off the trail. How'd that shit happen? - Look, my friend here is injured. Broken leg. Can you get air transport in here asap? He's in a pretty bad way. - Gonna be hell on your insurance. - We'll manage. - Only problem. Can't put down where you're at. No landing area. - Okay, where ya thinking? - I got an idea. There's a radio beacon a couple ranges back. That's way your way out. Go to the window. I need you to get eyes on it. - Hang on. - I don't see it! - You boys looking? - Yeah, we're looking. - Good. Now I got a question for you. - Yeah, what's that? - You wanna see the insides of this kid's head? - Reach down, get the man with the yellow shirt. God has saved you. You are sinners. You will go to hell if you don't do what you're told. - Why are you people doing this? - Shit dude, if you gotta ask, you ain't never gonna understa- - understand. - What? - This is frank. - Shit, frank, it's the middle of the damn night. - Sheriff, I'm aware of that. But we've got what I think you'd call a... Situation. - Steve, you dumb son of a bitch. - Cerveza? Bad men back there. - There is bad men everywhere. - Not like this. - Just leave it alone. Good morning, bedford flats. I wish you I could start your day off right. But once again I bring you bitter news. As some of you may have already heard, the body of Barney Erickson was found early this morning. The cause of his death, still under investigation. This marks two of our own that have been brutality taken from us in the last twenty-four hours. I will not rest until those responsible are brought to justice. Keep your chins up, bedford flats. - Grandpa, can I ask you a question? - What? - Do other towns... - Do this? - When I was your age, maybe a little younger, I took a trip to Dallas with the old man. First time in the city. Saw a homeless gal laying on the sidewalk out cold. I asked a cop if we should try and help her. Well he looked at me like I was some kind of idiot. You see, in the city, they let their problems die, slow right in front of everybody. Here, we take our problems out behind the woodshed and put 'em down proper. You're too young to remember, but... This hunt can help people. - You take Steve. He was raising all kinds of hell. Drinking and drugging. Then that business with the baby. Well, folks got fed up. Burnside: When I saw him stumbling across the flats, I thought, this guy is dead meat. But he showed us. Beat in Burton mills' head with a rock. Figured we'd seen the last of Steve. Then a month later, he shows up walking down main street. But you could see it in his eyes. He was a changed man. - Yeah, well, Chris Nelson said we do this because hunting people is fun. - Well, I suppose there's that too. - Yeah. When are you gonna let me hunt? - Not for a while yet. - Well, looks like you're going cold Turkey after all, hombre. You know, you got a lot of nerve, man. I'm practically the only friend you got left. - Most people, they don't die from drinking. They die from quitting, bud. That's a fact. - It starts with the shakes, at least it did for me. And then your vision goes. Motor skills, thought process, seizures. Peaks at twenty-four hours. Oh, shit. You're gonna wanna bite down on something, boy. - Come on, man. - You can do it. I got faith in you, man. I got all the faith in the world in you, you sorry motherfucker. Bo dawg: You know an animal in a trap, they'd gnaw their own leg off to survive, but... You ain't got the rocks, do you? So we both know how this ends. You'll be damned if some burnout desert psycho put you lights out for good. No way, Jose. Not you. But where we're going, you and me, people get it. They get us. - Do me a favor. Get fucked. - Hello bedford flats. This is your sheriff. It's been a tough few days out here. I know this year hasn't been the most fun, but we're gonna bring Steve back safe and sound. The man's been through hell. Keep your chins bedford flats. - Grandpa, when we find Steve, we're gonna kill 'em, right? - Well that depends on Steve. - When I'm hunting, I'm gonna kill everyone. - We got a dead man back in town. - You got a lotta dead men, boss. - You know what I'm talking about! You got his gun in your belt. - What? - This one? - Don't you fucking move! - Stay back. You're in no condition to hunt. Time to call the game. - Just shoot him, grandpa. - Just shoot him! - Shut the fuck up! Now this Warren, he's just one man. And you don't know where he is. - But I know where he's gonna be! - Give it up, Steven. - How do you think i hid from you crazy fuckers for a whole fucking month back in ninety-eight, huh?! How?! Cause I know! I know where he's gonna be! - Grandpa, I got him! - Shut the hell up! - Now how you holding for road flares? - Eat shit, motherfucker! - Corn fed motherfucker! That's why you never hunted. You never could fucking shoot! - I thought you were a changed man, Steven. Radio: Sheriff? Sheriff, are you there? Sheriff? Sheriff, this is frank. Do you copy? - Hey frank, is that you? - Steve? - No. This- this is sheriff speaking. - Steve, where are you? What's happening? Put the sheriff on. - Okay, okay, okay. Okay. Okay, let's get serious now. This is the sheriff here, and I just want to say to all you faggots in bedford flats, have a real happy hunt. - You son of a bitch. - Okay. No more fucking around. I think that we should change up the hunt. I know you guys are all stuck on this deliverance hillbilly buffalo hunting bullshit. I think we should do a more all-American sport. I think we should get rid of this shit and do some baseball. Good ol' American baseball. What do you think, sheriff? - Wait- - hey bud. Where you going? Come on, have a drink. Run! Run! Run! - That hurts, doesn't it? - You know what? You're a real fun guy. We should hang out more often. Say cheese! I told you there was a light at the end of the tunnel, didn't I motherfucker? The last time I was down here I was the one being hunted. The place looks great, doesn't it? Drink up, bud. Cigarette? - Cheers, bud. - Tequila. This gringo is wasted. Tequila. |
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