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Hard Boiled Sweets (2011)
And I'm kicking myself, really.
'Cause when I was a nipper, I didn't pay no attention at school. Bollocks to all that. Now I'm an old git, and I can't get enough of reading and whatnot. History's what I like best. All those kings and queens with their armies and wars. I love all that stuff. Being what is technically known as a proper villain, I can relate with them royalty. 'Cause what they got up to, wars, was just robbing and killing and bullying. Same as what I done. Only difference, they did it proper big scale. Those crown-wearing bastards saw everyone coming. Got them all confused into thinking they're legit. Got them thinking they're heroes and worth writing books about and everything. And this is not me trying to glorify the criminal game. Gonads. Try glorifying something that can see you end up with your head shoved down a toilet at my age. Why do they call you Jimmy The Gent? It's not a compliment. Well, Jimmy The Gent. You've been a big cock in a little ass for a long time now. But that isnt going to cut it no more. You see, there's a bigger cock in town. A prize cock. And that prize cock is me. I want the money, Jimmy. I'm going to give you a week to get it. Jermaine here's going to stick to you like glue, 2417 to make sure you get it. So don't disappoint me, yeah? I won't, Leroy. Good boy. You know, if I was getting out, you know what I'd do first? You'd get drunk. Can do that in here, can't I? Nah. I'd go and have a nice cup of tea. You can do that in here, too. Can't. I can get a mug of tea. It's not the same thing. I'm talking about a proper cup of tea. With a saucer, served from a teapot, with a bicky on the side. Digestive or Rich Tea? Honestly, I could give a fuck, just as long as it's there. There's something so... So fucking civilized about it. Don't you agree? Might drink it all posh. Me little finger sticking out and everything. Oh, that's lovely, that is. I'll have a cup for you, how's that? Yeah, you do that. Remember something, will you? What's that, Joyce? Remember there are only three good reasons to do anything in this world. Women. Money. That's two reasons. What's the third? It'll come to you. Just not in here. The trouble is, I'm not much of a thinker. Think that might take me too long. The longer the better. The longer the better, Johnny. Six years, four months, two weeks, three days, 18 hours, 36 minutes. Give or take. All I've got is the clothes on my back and a lifer's riddle in my head. What I probably need most is a friend. Yeah, well... I was thinking you might want a lift. You want the truth I was hoping to go for a walk. Sorry, it wasn't meant to sound like an offer. You do your time, then you can go straight. That's what they try and sell you anyway. The truth is different. You do your time. Then you do your straight time. There's no bars, no lockdown. But you're not free. It's fucked. The whole car's fucked. You want the truth, I doubt if it's going to get us where we're going. Where's that? Looks like I'm doing my straight time under a copper. Shouldn't I be checking in with my PO, detective? Taken care of. You like the seaside? 'Course you do, everyone likes the seaside. It's good to be beside, inn it? Well, I'm pleased you're happy, 'cause that's where we're going. South end. What a day out. Have a relax. Get your feet wet. Soak up the sun. Bring the kids. They're going to love it. The thing is, we're not all here for a holiday. Some of us are here for the money. Babe. Morning, gorgeous. Thought you might fancy a spot of breakfast in bed. Eddie, you are such a sweetie. You know me. There you go, breakfast of champions right there. How'd you do? Okay, I think. You think? Yeah, no, I did fine. Good. Hmm. You did real good, baby. Daddy's very proud. Come here. You okay? Yeah, just a bit sore. Good nights will do that to you. But don't worry. I'll kiss it better later. You want a hotdog? I don't know. 'Course you do. Go on, order one. And a milkshake My treat. Thank you, Daddy. Off you pop. I'm going to bang on a tab. Be back pronto. The thing with whores, and by whores, I mean those who've got pimps. I know about what I know. I don't know nothing about girls that work for themselves. Most people don't know nothing, think they're all fucked up junkie sluts. But that's not it. That comes later. The thing is, some people just can't make a decision for themselves. They don't want to. Making a decision, it scares the living shite out of them. Simple things. What to wear, where to live, what to eat. They don't want the fucking responsibility. They'd give anything to hand that over to someone else. Why do girls still become nuns? Exact same situation. Except not all girls is nun material. Them girls need someone like me. A pimp. 'Cause a pimp will take care of all your decisions, always. Until the end of time. Just like the church will, if you let it. And like for the nuns, a pimp's price is exactly the same. We take your soul, baby. We take your soul. Oi, B and H, can we park here or what? Piece of shit on wheels like that? I wouldn't park it I'd dump it, pal. Do yourself a favor, yeah? I hate this time of year. Fucking day trippers. You know what I mean? 'Course you don't. How could you? You've never been somebody. Not like me. Shrewd Eddie rambles, and I play along. The obedient girlfriend, the happy lover. Thrilled by his every word, honored that he chooses me to bore with them. Boss, car's ready when you are. Come on then, let's do the rounds. Good day to make money. I nod and smile in all the right places. I feed his ego. Then I feed it some more. And some more again, all the time hoping he'll choke on it. That's him. Shrewd Eddie. He runs this town. So you come down here, you play on a slot machine, you pick up a whore, you buy some pills, then you're helping him get richer. He gets 10% of everything that happens here. Everybody pays? Yeah. Everyone pays. Last fella who didn't went for a swim off the end of the pier. Only he didn't get very far. Word is Eddie strapped him up with some old car wheels instead of armbands. That's the rumor doing the rounds anyway. Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Probably not. What the fuck you looking at, old school? You. You're a good-looking boy. Do you know that? Whatever, Nancy. No, no, no, I like girls me, don't worry. What about you? You got a girl? I see. You and Leroy. Right. How does that work, if you don't mind me asking? Is one of you the bitch, one the daddy? Or do you take it in turns and stuff? What I just can't get my head around is, what is it about the taste of semen you boys find so appealing? I'm not gay, you get me? I got a girl, no messing. You keep this up and I'm a pop you right here, you understand? Oh, you ain't going to kill me, Jermaine, come on. Oh, yeah? At least not till I got all the money. Maybe then you'll kill me, but not before. You do that, Leroy will get the right hump. No matter how good-looking you are. Just don't keep riding me, for real. I got a limit and youse is right there, inn it? All right, Eddie. All right, Dean. How you doing? Yeah, I'm all right. Can't complain. Get in here a minute. Rest your feet up. Phew! You look well, Eddie. Thanks, sweetheart, thanks. Listen, I hate to be the one to tell you, but... Tell me what? Honestly, you're not looking too hot. Is everything all right? What is it? You said I could come to you if I had any problems? Yeah, sure, that's what I'm here for. Yeah, well, I only tell you this 'cause it affects you, right? Now, I know Gerry knocks a little bit back from what all of us girls earn to you. But the thing is, Eddie, he's taking a liberty with the free samples. Now I don't mind giving it, hell, you know that. But this is like two or three times an afternoon. It's after work. It's making me tired for the paying customers. And I'm not the only one, neither. Listen, babe. You take a few days off, get yourself rested. You leave all this to me, yeah? You're not going to tell him it came from me, are you? 'Course not. Don't worry about a thing. Aw! Thanks, Eddie, you're a diamond. Do you want me to... Nah, you're all right. I'm fine. I'm still a bit bloated from lunch, to be honest with you. Fair enough. See you. Gerry. Eddie, Dean. Hey. Hello. It's been a good week. Good. So, how are you guys? All right. And how's Porsche? Well, that's none of your fucking business any more, is it, Gerry? What the fuck? You piss away my profits, I'm going to piss on you. You're too busy banging the tarts. They're too tired to bang the punters. It stops now. Understand? And if I hear so much as a whisper you been taking it out on the girls, I'll be back. And I'll tie every one of these weights to your prick, and I swear, it's over the end of the pier for you, fuckhead. Sitting there, tasting your own blood, I get to thinking, "Why's Eddie really in a pisser of a mood?" Thinking. Thinking makes me realize that Eddie got his money today, same as always, which means he don't really give a spunk how I run my girls. That is of zero concern to him. Something is twisting Eddie's tit, and not much does. Not much except... Miss me, baby girl? You shouldn't be calling me. Eddie wouldn't like it. I loaned you to Eddie, but you belong to me, Porsche. I know that, Daddy. I wanted to ring you to let you know he's in a bad mood. Don't want you getting on his wrong side. He's got a temper on him, that old fart. How do you know he's in a bad mood, Daddy? He just came by in a stinky dinky funk. Probably 'cause the man is coming down. He told you the man was coming? No, you did, darling. Oh, Daddy, you are so clever. Yeah, that's right. Clever for you, baby girl. Now stay safe, remember who loves you, yeah? Okay, Daddy. I love you, too. Ciao. He's like a drug. A joint you share with your mates or something. Pass and toke. Pass and toke. I know it's wrong. I know it's bad for me. But it can make me feel so good. So good, I don't really want to share it. But I guess, it's a shared joint. And those are the rules. So what am I going to do? Honey, I'm home. First time I met Eddie, he was doing my mother. Thing is, Eddie doesn't even remember this. But it's true. I'm four years old, he's big and strong, and he's hurting her. Eddie doesn't care. Mum's been dead six years now. I guess I've been trying to figure out the best way to screw him over ever since. What a day! It'll take a bonk and a drink to clear me head. Ah! One down, one to go. Lucky me. It's all right. I put a sleeping pill in his G and T. He'll be out cold till morning now. Just a pity they take an hour to kick in, yeah? Don't touch me. Don't hate me. I don't hate you. How could I hate you? This has just got to stop. Eddie always says I bruise too easily. That's not funny. You sure you want to... I was reading a magazine the other day. I was getting my hair done. Did you know that when a woman's shagging two fellas at the same time, and she got both their leftovers inside of her, then those little soldiers have a fight? A fight? Yeah. Apparently it all kicks off down there. The two loads go at it, to the death. Till there's only one man's left standing. Fuck me. I know. Pretty romantic, yeah? Yeah. Dean? What? I want your spunk to kick the living shit out of Eddie's. Nice this, eh? Yeah, it's well nice. Proper princess time for you. Thank you, Daddy. You deserve it. You sure? Yeah. Wish I had the money to treat you like this all the time. I'll earn it. You'll see. I know you will, but I've been thinking. There may be a way of getting more, quicker. How? I got a plan, see? Let's go through it one more time, yeah? What? You're not fairing out on me now, are you? No. Dean, I can't carry on like this. That money's just sitting there waiting for us to take it. I don't see why we can't just take off, just the two of us. Fuck the money Fuck the risk. We've been through this a thousand times. We're both used to Eddie's money now. We can't live poor. I won't live poor. Now don't tell me you expect to run away and work legit jobs? Dean, we're never going to get another chance like this. It's a lot of money. It's a fuck of a lot of money. I'm guessing Eddie must have at least Money like that could go a long way to helping out a couple of amigos. I'm thinking a nice even split, 200 for me, 50 for you. Anything over, I keep. Anything under, that comes out your end. Fair is fair and all that. Normally, Eddie has 200, maybe 250 max at his place. But this weekend's going to be different. Different how? This weekend, the man is coming to town. The man? The gentleman. Jimmy The Gent. And if Jimmy's coming to town, so is his briefcase. That briefcase is our holy grail, Dean. Fuck Eddie's 250. That's small change compared to what The Gent will be carrying. The briefcase could be a myth. It's not a myth. He keeps everything in there, old school. Don't trust no one with it. He doesn't even spend none of it if he doesn't have to, either. That's why Eddie's always so pissed at the guy. Eddie really hates The Gent. I mean Marmite hate. But it doesn't matter how much Eddie hates him. He's still got to pony up the cash and put on a good show. Jimmy will insist on a big night out with a girl thrown in. A young girl, too, 'cause that's how The Gent likes them. And you're thinking that young girl might be me? Delta, you're like a mind reader or something. If we can get you in with Jimmy, we can get you close to the money. And we can, because Eddie will come to me for The Gent's entertainment. He always does. That's all right. So there's just Eddie, his boy, and a girl up there? Why? Who else could there be? Well, I don't know, copper, you tell me. Look, I'm not expecting you to go charging in there tonight on my say so, am I? Well, that's very kind of you. I'm not unreasonable. Take a few days. Stay here over the weekend. Do your homework. Get some sleep. I'll check in with you tomorrow. It's then I realize why they get called "coppers". Because copper is one metal that is easily bent. And once upon a time... Well, that's a pisser. Once upon a time, I was a hell of a good copper. Yeah, well. That was then. This is now. Ha! You taste like shit. Sorry. Never mind. I thought you were never coming home. I'm ready to go. Let's do it. Jenna, I've had a hell of day. I don't think I'm up for it. Freddie, you know what Dr. Johnston said. Just 'cause we've run out money for the treatment, doesn't mean we should give up on the old-fashioned way. Wanker! Freddie. The amount of money we've already palmed him, you think he'd give us one of his own kids. Frederico! Please. Take this seriously. Now, remember what he said. Yeah, I know what he said, Jenna. It's just I'm so tired I'm knackered. Don't you want babies, Freddie? Is that it? You know I do, beautiful. It's not that. Well, get to it, then. Go on, Freddie. Yep. Goon. Go on! Yeah. Think of the babies, Freddie. Think of the lovely babies. What? The babies, Freddie. Think of the babies we're making. No, no, no. Stop. No, no, no. What? Look. You can't talk about babies at a time like this. What do you mean? It's a little bit of a mood killer. But Dr. Johnston said visualization is the key. Honey, I don't give a shit what Dr. Johnston said, there is no way we're going to get anywhere if you start putting images of little bald bastards in nappies in my head at crucial moments. Sorry, Freddie. What you doing? What's it look like I'm doing? I'm finishing off the job. No, I'm sorry, that's it. What, but... No buts, Jenna. The flag's at half mast and coming down fast. Well, let's see if we can raise it up again. No, you've got more chance in raising your mum. You want me to talk filthy dirty to you? No. Look, I'm done, that's it. Well, that's just great. Jenna, baby. No, I'm not a baby. I want a baby. Shame you don't. I do. I do. Where do you think I've been all night? How should I know? Eating dog shit by the taste of you. I've been working on getting the money we need for Dr. Johnston's next round of treatment. Really? Really. You got the money? Not yet, but I'm going to get it soon. How soon? Really soon. I love you. You are going to have a baby. No matter what it costs, I promise you. And you are going to be the best mum in the world. You get it? How many more? Dagenham's next. Clacton's straight after. Then we finish off with a trip to South end. We stay the night, get back in town Saturday afternoon. South ends the last one? South ends the last one, yeah. I fucking hate South end. What a shithole. Don't worry. I'll buy us an ice cream on the pier. So this girl of yours, is she a bit of a looker? Yeah. What you think? I'm doing some rank stuff or something? Yeah, I bet she's a cracker. Where is she? Back in London town, isn't it? Do you trust her? What? What you saying? Nothing, just... Just what? Well, you know. A good-looking girl on her own in the town, I'd be worried somebody would be trying to pick her up. Only if it was me. Bruv, ain't nobody hitting on my girl, yeah. Leroy see to that, you get me? Leroy's looking after her? Yeah. Hmm. What the fuck's that supposed to mean? Nothing. Nah, fuck nothing. What? You think Leroy's going to try hit on my girl? I didn't say that, did I? I didn't say anything. Nah, fuck you, old school. Me and Leroy's be tight, yeah? He doing me a favor proper, you understand? Sure, of course. Good. Tight-ass fucker. Jimmy The Gent? Jimmy the fucking Jew. You know, I'm going to give him a quarter of a mill, cash, and he still won't buy me a fucking drink. Fucking club! Hello. Oh, hi, Eddie. Yeah, sure, he's in here somewhere. It's Eddie for you. You going to put some make-up on or what? It's a real turn-off, darling. Yeah, I was just going to. Hey, Jackie. What do you say to a tart with two black eyes? Nothing. 'Cause you already told her twice. That's a good one that, yeah? Yeah. Do I have to tell you twice, Jackie? No. "No" what? No, Daddy. Good girl. Eddie, what can I do for you? Tomorrow night? Yeah, of course. How young exactly? Eighteen, but what, she can look younger? How much? Good. Just don't push it, yeah? Nothing obvious, like a school uniform or anything crap. We did that last time, he saw right through it. Got the right hump all evening. Which I do not need, yeah? This fucking money. It's eating me up. Having to give it away, to him. I'd rather give it to a charity, you know. I know. Plus a girl. A young girl Sick bastard. Sick bastard. God, I wish he'd die Slowly. Why don't we just tie something to his legs, throw him off the pier? Job done. Don't you know anything? There's nothing I'd like more than to throw him the hell over the pier. All I want is for him to die a horrible fucking death. Look, I tell you something, if he died it'd be back to London for me. They'd make me boss 'cause I'm next in line. No one else has done what I've done. Nobody. What you thinking? We hit his place now while he's here? Do you know how long he's going to be here? No. Me neither. Well, what then? It's all about who you know. I shared a cell with Joyce Patton. I stroll on over there, drop Joyce's name. Eddie has his little boy go off to make a phone call, see if what I'm saying is true. He floats some questions at me to see if I stumble. And I don't stumble. Boy comes back, gives the nod about Joyce that gets me in. Eddie buys me a drink, share a laugh, jokes, some banter. Some crikey villain banter. Eventually he invites me back to his house for more drinks. It won't be tonight, it won't be tomorrow, but eventually he will. And then I'm inside. And insider jobs are so much safer than going into the unknown. Aren't they, copper? See, this is why I hired a professional. But I kill him, how long's it going to be before the whole gang is down here looking for me? It's not like it's a big fucking secret that I hate the cocksucker. What? I got Alzheimer's all of a sudden? I invite you over and forget all about it? Who the fuck are you? A friend. I got friends. There's just not enough love left in the world for any more, all right? Now piss off. You don't want me to do that. No? Really? Really. Oi, bacon roll. We're leaving. Now. Nice evening for it. That's far enough. What about the fairground? Fuck them, we'll get a move on. I'm not spending all evening walking down the end. Thought you could rip me off? No, listen, please. You've got it all wrong. I don't know what he told you, but... Enough is what he told me. It's a lie. You've got to believe me. Be a man. You tried it on, got rumbled. End of. Now you're going for the long hard flush. In the sewerage, right where you belong, copper. Oh, come on. You can't want this? We go back years. The trouble is, I spent those years inside a prison cell. Didn't I, copper? I've got a wife. Then in the long run, I'm doing you a favor. Jenna! I'm sorry! Oh, Jesus. Unbelievable. What's with you? Show some bollocks, man. You got a backbone made of knob cheese or what? Oh, my God! Shit. Boss? Did you not fucking check to see if the fucking tide was fucking in? Check how, boss? It's too fucking dark. Jesus, nobody knows what I have to put up with. My back! My back's gone! Well, Dean, you going to sort it or what? We can only get away with so much, and this is right royally taking the piss now. Oh, my God! I'm in pain! My nose! My fucking nose! Shit. Maybe I should get down there? You think? Dean, get down there and clear this mess up. Now here's the thing. You've put me in a bit of a situation, to tell you the truth. How's that? I mean, you've done me a big favor, don't get me wrong. But still, a man like me, I can't have a fella like you finding out about my business so quick and easy. You understand? You know, I never understood it, you know when people talk about guns being phallic. What a load of old tits. I mean, what's phallic about that? Nothing. To tell you the truth. You want to see phallic? This is phallic. Or maybe I was just born lucky. Boss? You didn't have a clue we were being followed. Not an inkling. Eddie... The thing is, Dean, a cunt without a hole is a useless cunt. You just going to leave the bodies here? Fuck them. Let the tide get them. Showers upstairs, third door on the left. Take the bedroom next to it. Thank you. And get an early night. Big day tomorrow, like I was explaining you. Nice one. Who's the visitor? A friend. And what's a friend doing here? Business. What kind of business? The none-of-your kind, sweet cheeks. And where's Dean? Well, Dean was acting kind of funny. What do you mean, funny? You know, I was thinking maybe it was something he ate, you know. What did he eat? A bullet. I need an early night. Come up and help me relax proper. Sure, Eddie. Hi, this is Rhona. Leave what you need and I'll catch you later, yeah. Bitch. Everything okay? Yeah, all good. Sure you don't want anything? What's the matter? Lost your appetite? Nah. You call a mobile, it rings once, and then it goes to voice-mail. That's 'cause the battery's dead, isn't it? I thought if the battery was dead it went straight to voice-mail, no rings. One ring's ignore, isnt it? Shit. You don't know anything for certain. Leroy, man. You don't know. Sorry I said anything. I really am. I'm sure it's nothing. Why don't you give him a call? What, Leroy? Yeah. Give Leroy a call. I bet he's nowhere near her. You reckon? Only one way to find out. It's me. Don't say anything they can hold you to. You're not even warm. I know where it is. Where what is? Let's not play games. Well, why not? You're the one holding the gun. You can make all the rules. I want the money, too. But taking it tonight is a mistake. Why? 'Cause tomorrow there'll be more. Much more. How much more? I'm guessing 1.5. Million? Eddie's boss is coming to town. He'll be loaded. Yeah? Yeah. Me and Dean were going to take it, but. Dean's dead. That's right. Which leaves you. How can I trust you? How can I trust you? You've got the gun. How's that for trust? You know, a guy once told me, there's only three reasons to do anything in this world. Women and money. That's only two reasons. Yeah. I haven't figured out the third. Any ideas? But I can remind you why reason number one is women. And I thought you were a lady. No, you didn't. How about Eddie? Please. He's under a sleeping pill I slipped him. We could do it next to him and he'd never know. Seal the deal, yeah? Whatever you want to call it is fine by me. Eddie likes to hit me. Is that why you want to take his money? Who needs a reason to want money? I know it might sound like an excuse, but... It's been a while. If it makes you feel more comfortable, we can do it prison style. So how you going to do me, Jermaine? Huh? Oh, come on, we're pals now, aren't we? I'm a grown-up, Jermaine I know the score. Leroy's told you to make sure I get all the dosh, then take care of me. Leave me in some ditch, deepest darkest Essex, where no one will go looking. Am I right? It's not like that. Don't insult my intelligence, Jermaine, please? Well, kind of, but not really. I got to take you back with all the money, so Leroy can check it's all there. And then I do you. What, he doesn't even trust you with the dosh? I don't know. What I don't understand is why he's the boss and you're number two. It's a real mystery to me, that one, I'm telling you. What? Well, you got the money, it's right here. You got the muscle. What's he got? He's got nothing, nada. And yet he's treating you like his errand boy. You're taking all the risks. We get stopped with this dodgy dosh, who takes the hit? Not Leroy. You get caught clipping me, who takes the hit? Not Leroy. No, it's the Muppet sitting, driving this car that cops it. I ain't no Muppet, man. Well, stop acting like one, then, Jermaine. I ain't. It's just, Leroy's got the brains, isnt it? Fuck brains. It's overrated. Shit, I can help you with brains if that's all you're worried about, you know. Look, just shut it, old school. You're doing my head right in, yeah? For real, now. Come on. Let's get this done. Hold on, I haven't finished my breakfast yet. Have it to go. Jimmy The Gent. Screwed Eddie. Give me my money, Eddie. So, you going to show me a good time, Eddie, or what? Yeah, 'course. Treat me like a king, Eddie. As though it was my last night on Earth. Of course. Thought we might start off with a few champagne cocktails. Champagne cocktails? With little umbrellas in them? Olives on a stick? Some polite nibbles, maybe? Do I look like a ponce to you, Eddie? Take me to a proper boozer, will you? You got it nice down here, Eddie, very nice. No stress. Nice and easy. An idiot could do your job, am I right? And you would never get a girl like this in London, that's for sure. Porsche? Just a whore who got lucky. She knows it, don't you, babe? But every now and then I have to put her in her place, don't I? You've obviously been brought up well. Very nice. Has she got any friends, Eddie? I'm feeling a little jealous. Your wish is my command, Jimmy. You're lovely. Come here, my dear. What's your name, sweetie? Delta. What's yours? Jimmy. Jimmy The Gent. Are you going to be a gentleman with me? 'Course I am. What's in your bag, sweetie? I'm just a little girl. And little girls like toys. You okay, Jimmy? I'm cracking, Delta. Is that Viagra? Yep. Four? It's going to be a good night, sweetie. Why don't you get me a fresh drink to wash these down with? Porsche, why don't you get us all a round in, darling? Sure, Eddie. Here Drop that in Jimmy's drink. What is it? Sleeping pill. Really? It's all right. I'm putting one in Eddie's, too. Jimmy's dropping four Viagras. You want to walk straight tomorrow, you'll give him that. You sure you don't want to put that briefcase in my safe? No. That stays with me. You're the boss. You're 1,000% right there, Eddie. I'm the boss. Me. That's bad. Not for much longer, yeah? Okay. Okay, let's do this. Delta, gorgeous. Yes, Jimmy? - Again. - What? Shoot him again. He's dead. Please. Good shooting. Come here, darling. She told me about your plan this morning. - My plan? - Yeah. She wanted me to kill you straightaway, but I told her, "Hold on, girl. This Muppet could do us a favor". I've been wanting this fuck dead for years, I can't tell you. That was her plan. Pull the other one, kid. She's lovely to look at, but she's not Alfred Einstein, is she? You know what I mean? Babe, would you do us the honors? Sure, Eddie. You ungrateful little shit. You shoot my boss just to steal his money? I just worked out a riddle. Porsche, get the briefcase, put it in the safe. And try and wake Delta up and get her out of here. Me and Jermaine will sort out this mess. Delta? Delta? Come on. Now's not the time to lose it, girl. We good? You grab your toy bag and get lost, yeah? What we going to do? We're going to dump these bodies. Where? The end of the pier, kid. 'Cause the end of the pier's the end of the line for these poor fuckers. Delta, open your bag, dump the stuff on the floor. Follow my lead. You're a little late, stud. Party's over. I'm not here for the party, girl. I'm here for Jimmy The Gent. Upstairs, third door on the right. Wear him out, did you? Something like that. It's buy one, get one free at the moment, so most guys end up sleeping happy. That Jimmy's? I guess. What's in the bag, girl? Tricks of the trade. It's for the old boys. They've always got the horn, but they can't always get it up. Three, two, one. Who the fuck are you? And what you doing with my briefcase? Your briefcase? Yeah, my briefcase. It is now. Don't think so. Jermaine? You know this tosser? Yeah. Good. So now we can just put our guns down, right? Jermaine, you're pointing your gun in the wrong face. Yeah? Fuck yeah. You okay? What's the matter? You hit on my girl, Leroy? What? You heard me. You think this is the time or place? Answer the question, isnt it? Take your gun out of my face, boy. I ain't your boy. Shit. This hurts like a motherfucker. How else did you think it was going to be? I just thought I'd get my turn, that's all. Like sex, bruv. Orgasm always comes too quick, isnt it? Don't make me laugh. Bruv? Did you hit that? Your girl? Yeah. A little bit. A little bit? Yeah. A little bit. Bruv? You were all right, old school. Catch you on the other side. Sorry about the head butt. It's fine. No pain, no gain. Did you get it? Yes, Daddy. Good girl. Delta, don't be jealous now. We couldn't have done all this without Porsche. We need her. Yeah, but we don't need you. Delta's right, Gerry. We don't need you, but we do need your car. We're happy to do you a deal. For the car? Yeah, Daddy, for the car. Okay. And just what do you think it's worth? I was thinking one used dildo. That fair, you think? Yeah. It's a six-incher, so it's a big improvement for you. Plus, you'll be needing it. Does it hurt? What about when I do this? You know, apparently, there's only three reasons to do anything in life. Number one is women. And number two is money. What do you reckon number three is, Delta? Number three is women with money. |
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