I cannot bear eating alone,
even when I was a small boy.
You were never a small boy.
I knew she wouldn't come.
I win the bet.
Name your pleasure.
Your problem is
you try to control women
without understanding them.
Problem? I never found it
a problem.
Women know what I want.
They do what I expect.
Then where is she?
You see? You did exactly what
I expected. (LAUGHS)
And again!
(LAUGHING)
By the way, Karl...
your fly is open.
-Hello.
-JENNIFER: Darling?
Wups.
It's your wife, Mr. Hart.
Thank you.
Hello, sweetheart.
Jonathon?
You're not flying the plane
without a copilot again,
are you?
Safety is my middle name.
(VOICE OVER A RADIO)
Copilot's sitting
right next to me.
JENNIFER: Munich is even more
beautiful than I remember.
Munich?
Isn't that a coincidence?
JONATHAN: I'm flying over
Germany right now.
Well then maybe you can
come to my party!
You're giving a party?
Yes I am! It's my anniversary.
Mine too. What a coincidence.
Who's all invited
to this party?
Oh, just my closest friends
in Munich.
Housekeeping, room service,
the doorman...
Save me a seat on your right.
I have to be at the Deutsche
Telekom meeting in Berlin,
so I won't be there
till after lunch.
Have I told you how proud
I am of what you're doing?
You'd do the same thing.
That's why I married you.
(GERMAN)
Auf wiedersehen, Liebchen.
(GERMAN)
Auf wiedersehen, Schatzi.
I'm crazy about that girl.
Okay, okay.
A deal's a deal.
Paws up.
Not bad.
If you had thumbs,
I'd let you land it.
MAN: Emergency!
Clear the way, clear the way.
(GERMAN) Danke. Thank you.
Emergency!
Emergency. Doctor, thank
heavens you're here.
Quick, quick, quick!
Stat, stat!
VOICE: Doctor please
to radiology.
Just in time.
For young Maximilian's
recovery.
Now, it should hang directly
above his bed.
Supervise it for me,
will you?
-Peter, I'm a surgeon.
-Yes...
and I am your employer.
I want this in skilled hand.
Please? Please?
-Okay, okay.
-Peter.
(IN A GERMAN ACCENT) Doctor,
would you please excuse us?
For sure, Simone.
Peter, can't we go somewhere
private?
I need to talk with you.
You're having second thoughts
about the wedding, aren't you?
Do you know how I know?
I've had second thoughts
about the wedding.
Me, the man who's about to
become the luckiest husband
in the world.
Perhaps...
-it will happen too fast.
-Not fast enough for me.
If it weren't so right,
neither of us would be
nervous. It's people who don't
love each other
who settle for being
comfortable.
No sparks,
no doubts.
We'll never feel that way
about each other.
I see my timing is impeccable.
I've been looking for you,
Simone.
Karl needs to meet with you
about the prenuptial ball.
This is not exactly
the right...
time, Elsa.
No, this is the perfect
time, darling.
I have to go meet the
bone-marrow donor
at the hotel.
But don't you forget!
We're all going to have dinner
later.
I love you.
Karl was very disappointed
you didn't join him
for breakfast.
Really?
VOICE: Doctor to Emergency.
Lock her in my trunk.
Follow Peters. See where he
goes. She may have told him
nothing, but I can't be sure.
Mr. Donner.
What?
Peter Donner?
Of the Donner Clinic?
Peter Donner?
Oh...
Yes!
You are Mrs. Hart?
Jennifer.
Were those for me?
Well, they even look pretty
here on the floor.
You
are our bone-marrow donor?
Yes.
Is everything all right?
Oh, yes, it's...
It's just that you look so
much like someone that I know.
It's my fiancee, as a matter
of fact.
Really? Well, I'll take that
as a compliment.
Won't you come in?
Is...
you husband here?
No, not yet.
It's our anniversary.
I was just on my way out to
buy him a present on the
Maximilian Strasse.
Oh, well since you're my guest
here in Munich,
allow me to show you a few
of my favorite stores.
Oh, thank you! That would
be great.
My German's a little rusty.
I could use the help.
JENNIFER: I know I wasn't
planning to shop for myself,
but under the circumstances,
who could resist?
I know... I know you must
think I'm an idiot, the way I
keep staring at you.
How did she get out of Elsa's
trunk?
-Did you lock it?
-Of course I locked it.
-Are you sure?
I know how to lock
a car trunk.
I've got to call Simone.
The resemblance is too
uncanny. She's got to meet
you right away.
Can you manage?
Sure.
I'll be back in one second.
Okay!
I can manage!
Hello.
What are you doing with my
boxes? Wait, but those
are my packages!
Help me, somebody!
Help!
Help!
(SCREAMING)
Go!
Are you okay?
I'm fine.
I hope his nose
hurts worse than my hand.
Oh, you are wonderful.
Danke schoen.
You were great!
What a great umbrella!
Strong!
Sturdy!
Shall we go?
Yeah.
Freeway! Come here, baby!
Did you miss your mommy?
Guess who else missed mommy?
(LAUGHING)
Uh-huh.
Mmm...
Let me go over
the guest-list again.
Room-service, housekeeping,
the doorman?
Not so hard-working
and useful, I'm afraid.
Peter Donner.
Welcome, Mr. Hart.
Jonathan.
Peter took me to lunch.
-That was nice of you.
-It was my pleasure.
And afterward he showed me
some wonderful shops
and he saved my life
-then we came back here.
-He what?
-He saved my life.
-It was more like your
packages, really.
Oh, he was grabbing at me too.
-Why were you doing that?
-Oh no, not Peter.
The mugger!
Mugger?
The one who wanted
my packages.
I hit him in the nose.
Bobby stomped on his feet.
Sister Lillian whacked him
with her umbrella
while Franz hit him over the
head with his newspaper.
I...
kicked him in the shins.
You alright?
I'm fine...
thanks to Peter
and the good citizens
of Munich.
Well, I'm very grateful.
Oh, not as grateful as I am to
you and to Jennifer
for coming all this way to
help the Bone-Marrow Program.
Well, when Jennifer heard that
she was the perfect match for
your recipient,
we started making our travel
plans right away.
I understand that it's
your anniversary.
We have much to celebrate
because I'm getting married
myself, Saturday.
To someone who looks exactly
like me, according to Peter.
Congratulations.
They... They could be twins.
I was just trying to call her.
Would you like to meet
Maximilian?
Maximilian?
The recipient of your
bone-marrow.
His name is Max?
Yes.
Well, sure.
We'd love to meet someone
called Max.
We've tried to make Max's
life as normal as possible
under the circumstances,
but he has a particular hobby,
which is important to him.
Oh, let me see...
8-year-old boy...
football.
Chasing 8-year-old girls.
PETER: These rocket
clubs are all over Germany
and the championship...
is being held in Stuttgart
at the end of the month
and Max, he's planning to
compete.
JONATHAN: So soon after
the operation?
PETER: He's a very
determined boy
and we've caught the disease
at an early stage, so...
so we're hopeful.
JENNIFER: How long has Max
been in a wheel-chair?
PETER: That's not Max,
that's Phillip.
Phillip...
Yeah, he tried to parachute
off the school roof.
That's Max, over there.
Come on, dog!
Maybe Freeway can
introduce us.
Max!
Hi Peter, did you see
my blast-off?
Look! I think I found
a copilot.
Well, he has had some
flying lessons.
Oh, hi Simone!
This is Jennifer
and Jonathan Hart.
-How do you do?
-Good.
Why are you calling Simone
Jennifer?
Because she is Jennifer.
This is your bone-marrow
donor.
Your name is really Jennifer?
My name is really Jennifer.
You're going to save my life,
Jennifer. Did you know that?
Well, I'm certainly gonna try.
I'm gonna blast-off again.
Can I take my copilot?
Sure.
Come on, doggie. Here, boy!
Come on!
His name is Freeway!
Hey, Freeway!
Come on, Freeway!
He's a very brave little boy.
Braver than you think.
He's an orphan.
I think we'd both like to
spend a little more time
with him.
Maybe we'll hang out here
for a while.
I knew I'd find
the right people.
Kleenex?
Bone-marrow experiments?
You think I enjoy watching
money that belongs to me
tumbling into
a bottomless pit?
It doesn't matter.
I am going home.
Not until you fulfill your
bargain with me.
Have you forgotten
you signed this paper?
That was before I met him.
Now I know him.
He's a wonderful man.
I really care for him.
There's nothing more boring
than listening to a tramp,
trying to develop
a conscience.
I will go to the police!
Oh, you will?
And what do you tell them?
You have the record for fraud.
Your signature is
on this paper
and the local magistrate is my
weekly chess partner.
You have two alternatives.
One, you can accept my
offer for money
or you can rot in
a German prison.
What will happen to Peter
after the marriage?
What concern is it of yours?
One way or the other,
he will be out of your life.
Oh...
Please don't be sad.
Five million dollars is a very
effective vaccine against
loneliness.
Well, what is it?
Nothing... Nothing.
Nothing.
I wonder what's keeping
your twin.
Oh, Peter said
she's always late.
Well, there's one difference.
I never had to wait for you.
Aw...
How sweet of you to remember
it that way.
Except at the altar.
I thought you weren't going
to bring that up again.
I just wanted everything
to be perfect.
I'm so sorry...
so sorry that I'm late.
Fritz!
-Our table, please.
-Right away, Herr Donner.
Good evening, Fraulein Grohe.
And to you, sir.
Fraulein Grohe?
I really do have to meet
this woman.
Unless things change
drastically, Jennifer,
that may never happen.
Amazing.
(LAUGHS)
And I found this in my
coat-pocket when I went to
pick her up at the hotel.
Unbelievable.
Oh, she's having second
thoughts about the wedding.
I can read between the lines.
She'll be back.
Do you know where she is?
No... No, and I'm running
out of time.
Unless Simone and I show up
for the prenuptial ball
tomorrow night,
it'll be a major embarrassment
for my family.
There are people coming
from all over Europe.
Maybe you could postpone it.
Rain delay.
Rain delay?
Yeah, like baseball games.
Baseball Ball?
Just a thought.
My cousin, Karl Von Ostenberg,
has arranged everything down
to the last detail.
This would be a major scandal
that he couldn't live down.
I can't embarrass Karl
after all he's done for me.
-Uh-oh.
-Huh?
There's that look.
What look?
That transparent look that
tells me exactly what you're
thinking.
You couldn't possibly know
what I was thinking.
She's thinking...
that you're such a nice man
that maybe she could go to
the ball with you
and pass herself off
as Simone.
What a hair-brained,
far-fetched idea.
Ridiculous, isn't it?
Totally bizarre.
Is that what you thought
I was thinking?
That's exactly what I thought
you were thinking.
We'd never be able to
pull that off.
Would we?
Not a chance.
But that is what you
were thinking.
Something like that.
Something like that?
All right, exactly like that.
It is completely insane,
of course.
But...
What ever happened to the good
old days when all anybody
wanted to borrow was a
cup of sugar?
PETER: The Donners and the
Grohes built a vast fortune
together
but then their families became
estranged enemies.
You know, like the...
Hatfields and the McCoys?
You think the British
royal family has problems.
Just wait.
My family makes the Windsors
look like the Von Trapp
Family Singers.
Grandfather desperately wanted
to marry Ludmila Grohe,
but she ran off with her
brother instead.
Her brother?
Yes, grandfather was furious
so he drove the Grohes
out of business
and out of the country, but...
on his deathbed,
never having resolved
the loss of his love,
he wanted to repent. So he put
the money of both families
into a trust,
never to be released until
the Grohes and the
Donners married.
Your father didn't get
the money?
My father was in
an insane asylum.
You see, my mother had run off
with the gardener,
who was actually working
for the Grohes.
And when my mother found out
that she
was set up,
she took some of the Grohes
for a picnic in her car
and drove them off the bridge.
Well, I wouldn't worry
about the money.
Geraldo or Sally Jessy would
pay a fortune to have a guest
like you.
Sally Jessy?
Television people.
So you don't control
the trust?
No. My cousin,
Karl Von Ostenberg, does.
He's been very generous to me
but I've been losing a lot
of money with the clinic
and if this wedding
doesn't happen,
he may decide that he has to
shut it down.
How did you meet Simone?
It wouldn't have happened
if it weren't for Karl.
He was wonderful.
He took out advertisements,
he sent out investigators
to look for a living Grohe
and he found her!
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
For a while,
I wondered if I could
marry someone
that I didn't love
for the sake of the clinic.
The answer was no.
But as luck would have it,
there was Simone.
That's lucky,
isn't it, darling?
Yes.
And timely.
I'm sure she'll come to her
senses 'cause we really do
love each other, you know.
-Aw...
-That's why Jennifer's
kind offer...
Look, Peter...
let us sleep on it, would you?
Your hotel is just
around the corner.
Goodnight.
And don't worry.
Don't worry.
Things will work out.
That's the most dysfunctional
family I've ever heard of.
Isn't it?
It's a wonder Peter's so nice.
He is nice, isn't he?
That's why we should
do this for him.
-No, that's why something
doesn't add up.
-What?
-Well, Peter is a very bright,
attractive guy.
-Mmm-hmm.
-Soon to be a very rich,
bright, attractive guy.
-Mmm-hmm.
So why wouldn't Simone
want to marry him?
I don't know.
-Could be dozens of reasons.
-Well, that's my point.
We don't know Simone.
Who she is, what she wants,
who her friends and
enemies are.
You pretend to be her
for just a few hours,
those friends and enemies
become yours.
Mmm.
Now you're looking at me
with that other look.
What other look?
That look that tells me you're
going to be stubborn
about this.
(SCOFFS)
You...
Mmm...
I know that look too.
What look?
That look that tells me that
somehow this Cinderella
is not going to the ball
without her prince.
-You can bet your glass
slippers on that.
-Uh-huh.
And you know what, prince?
That's me.
I like that look.
Come here.
Mmm.
That should be
Mr. Jonathan Hart,
American business man of
considerable wealth and
reputation.
It seems he wants to buy
the Donner Brewery,
all cash.
Until Peter's inheritance is
in your name, you can't
sell it to him legally.
I want you to go
and show him in.
Don't spare the charm.
Lots of teeth.
Then I want you to go have
a conversation with...
what's her name?
-Simone.
-Simone, yes.
Remember if Simone doesn't
marry Peter, you can't
marry me.
(GERMAN) Macht schnell. Raus.
JONATHAN:
She's the sweetest, little
rosebud
that Texas ever knew
My, my...
Not too shabby.
Not too shabby at all.
Mr. Hart,
-I'm Elsa.
-How do you do?
We're honored to have such
a distinguished guest.
Welcome to our little home.
You didn't have to go to all
of this trouble for me.
I'm sorry. This is for
our party tonight.
If I were decorating for you,
I'd start with me.
Whoa.
Karl is expecting you.
Mr. Hart, please.
Thank you,
honey.
Mr. Hart!
Karl Von Ostenberg.
You can call me Jonathan,
Karl.
Jonathan,
I'm puzzled.
I must admit I've done a bit
of snooping into your affairs.
Is that a fact?
Beer? A brewery?
It doesn't seem to fit, even
remotely, into your mix
of companies.
Karl, do you know what the
watch-word is for the 90s?
Semiconductors.
I wasn't aware of that.
Do you know what the new
watch-word is for the
21st century?
-Beer?
-Diversify.
Diversify?
-Diversify.
-Diversi-fy.
And I intend to stay ahead
of the game.
Well, in that case, let me
invite you to examine the
merchandise.
Don't mind if I do.
(GERMAN) Prost.
Whatever.
If the brewery's as good
as the brew,
then we do have something
to talk about.
Good.
There is one small problem.
What's that?
I cannot sell
the brewery for...
a few days.
There are certain...
papers that need
to be transferred.
It'll take perhaps...
a week.
Oh Karl, that'd put a twist
in my shorts.
I don't plan on being
in Munich that long.
Well,
plans can change.
How can I entice you to stay?
You can't.
But that...
Fraulein I met...
Oh, my cousin, Elsa.
Cousin?
Many times removed.
Sorry to hear about that...
You see...
My wife is not with me
on this trip.
Oh, really?
Well in that case,
why don't I put her
next you at my dinner tonight.
Karl...
Are you mixing business
with pleasure?
I can only vouch for
the business
but Elsa knows all about the
pleasure and you can take
my word for that.
We still have to get you
a fake beauty mark and take a
trip to the hair-dresser
but I've shown you most
of Simone's favorite places,
just in case someone
mentions them.
I can certainly see why this
was one of them.
Or as Simone would say,
(IN A GERMAN ACCENT)
"I can see why this was one
of them."
A little softer with...
-Softer?
-Yes.
(IN A GERMAN ACCENT)
I can see why this was one
of them.
By George, I think
you've got it.
(LAUGHING)
Ah, it's so beautiful.
Yes, Simone thought so
as well.
CROWD: Aw!
This is where and when
we first kissed.
Aw...
Peter, I'm not Simone.
Yes... Yes, of course.
Any woman would come back
to a man who remembers their
first kiss the way you do.
Come on.
I'll be late for
that hair-dresser.
VOICE: Orderlies to station,
please.
Jonathan,
this is Dr. Detmeier.
She's heading up
Max's operation.
-How do you do?
-Nice to meet you.
This is Jonathan Hart and
that is Freeway.
I thought maybe Max's copilot
might cheer him up.
I hope it's all right.
Well...
it's not strictly sanitary,
but...
Perhaps just this once.
This is the first stage of his
final test and he told me
he's scared.
He's never admitted
that before.
Well, maybe a wagging tail is
just what the doctor ordered.
Freeway!
Here's your copilot.
You ready for take-off?
I don't wanna go with them.
Doctor, would they excuse us
for a moment?
Of course.
Wait please.
What do you mean, you don't
want to go with them?
I don't wanna go with them
because I'm scared.
What do astronauts do
when they see a cloud?
They fly right through them.
Right.
Why don't you think of this
operation as a cloud?
And you're gonna fly right
through it and come out
on the other side?
Like an adventure?
Like an adventure
in the wild, blue yonder,
hmm?
Okay.
You ready for blast-off?
Ready.
Ready for count-down.
Check.
Ten...
nine...
eight...
seven...
six...
five...
four...
This is as far as you can go,
Mr. Hart.
Only astronauts from this
point on, Freeway.
Happy landings, Captain Max.
(BARKS)
(BARKS)
You still have not changed
your mind?
Simone, time is rapidly
running out for you.
If you do not live up to your
bargain and marry Peter,
I have no earthly use for you.
Do you understand that?
Do you understand that?
Good.
Tonight when Peter
enters the ball
without you,
at the moment of his greatest
humiliation,
you will make your entrance.
You had a bad case of the
nerves, you came to me
and I was able to
affect a joyful
family reunion, ja?
Don't forget to cry.
Yeah, good.
And by the way...
if you do not think that
money can make you happy,
well, you've never had enough
to know.
Five million dollars.
What's there to think about?
PETER: She walks like Simone,
talks like Simone...
I can't wait to meet
this woman.
The Count and Countess
Goess-Ensenberg.
Howdy.
How y'all doing?
MAN: Baron Wunderland
and lady Applegate.
Jonathan Hart.
Mr. Jonathan Hart.
Thank you, little fella.
Mr. Hart.
I believe we are seated next
to each other at Karl's table.
Do you mind if I consider
you my escort?
Well,
even a blind hog can find
an acorn now and then.
I beg your pardon?
I'd be proud.
Jonathan,
I see you found my lovely
cousin, Elsa.
We sort of found each other.
And where I come from,
we like to play
"finders, keepers."
Mr. Peter Donner.
(CROWD CLAMORING)
Ms. Simone Grohe.
CROWD: Ah!
(CROWD APPLAUDING)
(STRUGGLING)
(SCREAM)
What's the matter, Karl?
Something go down
the wrong way?
Let me go!
No!
Ahh!
(APPLAUSE)
They sure do make
a lovely couple.
Ahhh!
Who is that woman?
Right now, she seems
to be you.
Ahhh!
Witch!
(SCREAMS)
(CHUCKLING)
My beauty-mark is itching.
-I think it's moving.
-You're doing beautifully.
Here we go.
Karl and Elsa are
at the end of the line.
I've already told you
everything about them.
The first man you're going
to meet is my cousin, Helmut.
He's going to pinch you on the
bottom, give you a bear-hug
and you always kiss
him on the nose.
I do?
One in every family.
-Simone!
-(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHING)
Who is this fool?
The resemblance is
phenomenal.
Whoever she is,
Aunt Edna will notice
the difference.
Next is Aunt Edna.
She's your best friend
in the family,
the only one who approves
of the clinic.
Kiss both cheeks.
Aunt Edna!
You look wonderful!
Your hair!
My hair?
You've done something
different.
Oh...
I like it, Simone!
You do?
Well, we must have tea
next week. I'll tell you
all my secrets.
Peter, darling,
I hear you found a donor
who's a match to
that young boy.
A perfect match, in fact.
Everything's going to be
just fine.
-Bye bye...
-We'll have lunch, won't we?
Simone.
You look lovely.
Thank you, Karl.
Elsa!
You look wonderful.
You've been working out again.
It does wonders
for your figure.
Thank you,
Simone.
You look like you've been
working out too.
I don't believe I've had the
pleasure, Monsieur ...
Hart.
Jonathan Hart.
Well...
And what brings you to Munich,
Monsieur Hart?
A little business,
a little pleasure.
Ah...
Well perhaps we'll be seeing
more of you.
Monsieur ...
Hart, honey.
And you can count on it,
Ms. Grohe.
That Simone woman is as pretty
as a June bug.
Truly. Yeah, yeah.
She is very remarkable.
Bring Simone down.
Expose this woman
as a fraud.
Not until I know
why she is here.
Who is she?
What is Peter up to?
Is he on to us?
I haven't waltzed since
I've been in short-pants.
Care to take a twirl?
Yes, delighted.
Auntie Edna!
That Simone woman said
you like to work out.
I'm a sucker
for physical fitness.
I fence mostly.
How well do you swing
a sword, Jonathan?
Well, where I come from, Elsa,
that could mean
several things.
We'll have to try another
picnic soon.
Yes! It was wonderful.
Wasn't it?
Watching all the delicious
food get soaked?
I thought it would
never stop raining.
Raining?
I fell in the river.
And almost drowned.
-Drowned?
-Yes.
I'm an excellent swimmer.
What's wrong with you, Simone?
Well really, Erwin, have you
completely
lost your sense
of humor?
(LAUGHS)
(LAUGHING)
With your permission, Peter...
What about once around
with the bride?
Of course.
-Ms. Grohe?
-My pleasure.
Oh, I'm so glad
you came along.
I was about to blow it.
You're doing fine.
-You're the belle of the ball.
-Ah!
Elsa seemed very attentive.
Like a predator
in a water-hole.
Don't turn your back on her.
The night is young, Carita.
And as Valentino said,
"There's nothing like tile
for the tango."
Wait.
You've got my beauty mark.
What are we gonna do?
I've got an idea.
Is it there?
-Yeah.
-(SIGHS)
You got it back but it's
a couple inches too high.
-Uh-oh.
-Better try the power room.
That man.
He's the one who mugged me
and tried to take my packages.
What's he doing here and why
is he talking to Elsa?
Well, he's got some nerve.
She's my date.
May I help you?
I was looking for
the men's room.
It's back there.
Take a right
and a left.
-(SCREAMS)
-(GLASS BREAKING)
Oh, my...
-(SCREAMS)
-(GLASS BREAKING)
A right
and then a left.
Excellent directions.
(WALTZ PLAYING)
Do the antique vases in this
castle belong to you?
No.
Good.
Who was that man?
Someone who works
for Karl.
He's got Simone locked up
like the prisoner of Zenda.
She's all right but she's
understandably upset.
You... You must be mistaken.
Not Karl.
It's his castle and his
merry men.
Well I've got to settle this
matter with Karl immediately.
If you confront Karl, then
everyone will know that
Jennifer is not Simone.
I can't just leave
her alone in there.
And I'm not gonna
put my wife in danger.
But if Karl knows
I'm not Simone,
why hasn't he said anything?
They didn't expect you
to be here.
Whatever they had planned,
you are now in the way.
I hate being in the way.
What do we do now?
Well, they haven't exposed
their hand, so
we won't expose ours.
I trust you've found your
evening enjoyable.
I can't begin to tell you
what I found tonight, Karl.
My, my...
I'm afraid I'm exhausted
from all this dancing.
Peter, would you take me home?
I think I'll push
myself off too.
No offense folks, but the
champagne and the jet-lag
has turned my brain to mush.
Be careful of the night air,
Simone.
You might catch your death...
of cold.
Oh, Karl...
You are always thinking
about someone else.
Are you going to just let
her walk out of here?
Find out who she is.
Two Simones,
an embarrassment of riches.
Now our only problem
is to decide...
which one
to kill.
-Did anyone call?
-No one.
I'll try calling that
detective agency again.
Maybe they're open by now.
Where could he have gone?
I don't know, but if you want
to pick up a few colorful
phrases in German,
try yelling "Freeway"
in the streets of Munich
at five in the morning,
Hmm?
You might take that
beauty mark off now.
I'm afraid I've grown
attached to it.
Well, that's nice,
darling but,
I prefer you the way you were.
Still not in.
Actually, I can't.
You can't what?
Take it off.
You see...
I was so desperate to keep it
in place last night that I...
found some crazy-glue in a
desk and I'm afraid
I welded it on.
Simone lives.
Look, we all bit off
a little more than we
could chew last night.
Peter's a nice man,
but we didn't come all the way
to Munich
to get involved
in an episode of Family Feud .
We came here to save the life
of a young boy.
But we can't just
walk out on Peter.
And I'm partially responsible
for the fix he's in.
It was my idea
to go to the ball.
You wanted to help.
You always do.
That's why I married you
instead of Simone Grohe.
Right now,
we have two priorities.
One to save young Max,
and the other to find Freeway.
I'll change.
Oh...
Poor Freeway, our little baby,
all alone in a strange city.
His little heart must
be breaking.
MAN: Max! Time to go!
-Max!
-I'm coming!
(BARKING)
JENNIFER: Freeway!
Freeway!
Freeway, baby!
Come here!
Freeway!
(WHISTLING)
-Darling?
-Any luck?
No.
Don't worry. We'll find him.
JENNIFER: Freeway!
Freeway!
Jonathan! Jennifer!
I got your message
at the hotel.
I contacted a friend who runs
a dog-walking club.
She's going to get all of her
members out looking
for Freeway.
Oh, Peter, that's
so kind of you.
Well, between the police,
the private eyes,
the dog-walkers and us
it's just a matter of time.
Speaking of the police,
what have you decided
to do about Simone?
I didn't sleep one hour
last night.
I almost called the police
and then I thought
that the local tabloids
would turn this into a circus.
Why on Earth
would Karl kidnap her?
What could he possibly
gain by it?
Well, he could stop
the wedding.
That would prevent you from
coming into a lot of money.
Yes, but it wouldn't become
his money.
He merely administrates
the trust.
Don't take this the wrong way,
Peter.
Maybe she wasn't kidnapped.
Maybe they're both
in on it somehow.
If that were true,
why would he lock her up?
We have to find some way
of getting her out of there.
Maybe we could sneak in
through one of the secret
passageways!
-Secret passageways?
-Sure.
What secret passageways?
Well, don't be silly.
All those old castles have
secret passageways.
...In the movies.
Well, Jennifer is due at the
hospital for some tests.
I'm afraid you'll be sedated
for a couple of hours.
We'll meet you there
and when Jennifer's recovered,
we'll all go out and visit
cousin Karl,
come clean, lay our cards
on the table and demand
an explanation.
What if he denies everything?
Simple...
Peter and I will keep him busy
while you check the secret
passageway.
(GERMAN) Auf wiedersehen.
(GERMAN) Auf wiedersehen.
Freeway!
(BARK)
They all stick together,
darling. He won't tell you
a thing.
Let's try over there.
We'll find him, darling.
I promise
but right now we've gotta
get you to Peter's clinic.
Oh, just for a minute.
All right. Only just
for a minute.
He called her darling.
They're going to
Peter's clinic.
You've heard something
from that pair of dummkopfs ?
I ordered a computer search
on Jonathan Hart.
And?
While we were busy
congratulating ourselves,
Mr. and Mrs. Hart were
making utter fools of us.
It seems Mrs. Hart
is undergoing tests
at Peter's clinic
for the next few hours.
Let's get rid of Simone.
Call the whole thing off.
She'll never keep
her bargain anyway.
You're right.
She's even more untrustworthy
than I am.
But thanks to the Hart's
amateur theatrics,
I now have a choice.
(LAUGHS)
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
What are you doing?
Let go of me!
-Pig!
-Now, now, Simone.
We're only trying to help.
You bitch!
No!
-No!
-Just relax.
Your long nightmare is over
and Jennifer Hart's
has just begun.
You! No dogs allowed!
You! Dog! Come back here!
VOICE: Dr. Gertingen 2965.
How you doing Max?
Okay, I guess.
Just trying to fly
through the cloud.
It's a pretty big one,
isn't it?
Pretty big.
Max, I need you to help me
because I've never been
through an operation
like this either
and I want to be just as brave
as you were yesterday.
I'll help you, Jennifer.
You will?
Thank you.
You know, we had
a very close friend
named Max.
-You did?
-Mmm-hmm.
I met him when I was
in an orphanage
just like you.
-Really?
-Mm-hm.
JENNIFER: Really.
And you remind us
a lot of him.
-I do?
-Mmm-hmm.
Why?
Because...
he saved my life
but in a very different way.
And he was...
the bravest and the sweetest
man in the world.
PETER: Hello?
Dr. Detmeier, I don't believe
you've met Jennifer Hart.
Hello.
-God, that's incredible!
-Yes, we know.
Really amazing.
Even the alignment
of the front mandible.
First thing I noticed too.
We'll be taking a core marrow
sample from Jennifer, as well
as from Maximilian.
We'll run them simultaneously
for one final test
of compatibility.
VOICE: Herr Schuler
to physical therapy.
Freeway!
(GIGGLING)
(GROANING)
Put that on her.
Go find something
to cover her face.
They boy's got to be taken
to the OR right away.
Freeway! Quick, hide!
Ready, Max?
Ready.
Okay, let's go then.
(SIGHS)
Hi.
I'll be right here
when you wake up.
Oh, you look more worried
than I am.
I'm fine.
I've never been
more proud of you
or more in love with you
than I am right now.
Wow.
I should have done this
a long time ago.
Psst.
Psst!
Excuse me, sir.
Have you seen a little dog
running around?
What kind of a dog?
Many kinds,
about this size.
Where'd you see him last?
That little trespasser was
getting on one of
the elevators.
(KISSING SOUNDS)
Where are you, little dog?
Come on.
VOICE: Frau Mueller
to cardiology.
(BARK)
(BARK)
Freeway?
(WHISTLES)
JONATHAN: Hey!
Hey!
I'd know that cold, wet nose
anywhere.
(BARK)
Save the explanations
for later.
Now, Jennifer.
I see it all went well.
A perfect match.
JONATHAN: Is someone
coming with a key?
Will you open the door?
Excuse me.
Come on!
Jonathan! What are you
doing... What is he doing
in here?
I'm not exactly sure and he's
not talking. How's Jennifer?
-It went beautifully.She's in
recovery.
-Let's go.
You understand that Jennifer
will be quite druggy
for a while.
(BARK)
Freeway.
(BARK)
Freeway, will you come on?
We're going to see Jennifer.
Freeway, come on.
It all went very smoothly.
She just needs
to sleep it off.
(WHISPERING) Darling.
-I'm here.
-(GROANING)
Would it be possible to take
her back to the hotel?
I'm sure she'd feel more
comfortable waking up there.
Well, it's a bit irregular
but I don't see why not.
She's in perfect health.
(BARKING)
Freeway doesn't seem to think
much of that idea.
(BARK)
I don't know what's gotten
into him all of the sudden.
(BARKING)
Freeway, will you pipe down?
(GROANING)
Don't try to talk, darling.
Everything's going
to be all right.
-We're going home now.
-Oh...
Come on.
Freeway, come on.
Uh-oh, Toto.
We're not in Kansas anymore.
(GRUMBLING)
JONATHAN: Just take it easy,
darling.
The coffee's on the way up.
Let me explain.
It all started when you called
Mike Tyson a sissy.
(GROWLING)
Will you quit that, Freeway?
-Who?
-Let me give you a hint.
Oh, my God.
(SCREAMING)
Houston, we have a problem.
Stay, Freeway.
Honeymoon jitters.
Ah!
Looking for a woman
in pajamas?
-Yeah.
-How could I have guessed?
That way.
Ahhh!
-(GRUNTS)
-(GLASS BREAKING)
Where the hell is my wife?
Don't be afraid to
look over the side.
You're missing the view.
When my husband hears
about this...
Your husband?
I'm off to see him
as soon as we land.
I intend to ask him for his
cooperation
and I'm going
to need yours too.
Go to hell.
(SCREAMING)
Do you know what a body
looks like after it drops
a thousand feet?
Huh? I can drop you
in the water,
make you disappear
forever, ja?
As far as going to hell,
of this there is no doubt.
But...
only after I get
what I want.
Concierge please.
This is Jonathan Hart.
I'll need a car right away.
-(KNOCK AT THE DOOR)
-It's open.
Thank you.
Jonathan, this is
too fantastic.
Do you remember when Jennifer
was joking
about a secret
passageway to the castle?
Well, there is one!
I found these old
architectural drawings
in the family archives...
-There it is.
-Look, don't bother.
We're going back to the castle
all right, but we're going
through the front door.
Jennifer.
I see you're feeling better.
That's not Jennifer.
Hello, Peter.
Simone!
Are you all right?
What happened?
Where's Jennifer?
Karl has her.
What?
Somehow they switched
them both at the clinic.
What... What is going on here?
Tell him, Simone.
It's time you told
him everything.
I love you, Peter.
That is why what I'm going to
say is so much more difficult.
When...
Karl found me in Provence,
I was in trouble.
I was broke.
I was once in
prison for fraud.
Karl offered me
an arrangement.
An... an arrangement?
I was supposed to come here,
make you fall in love with me
and marry you.
But I had to sign a contract
that if anything
happened to you,
all my inheritance
would go to Karl.
Your inheritance?
He was going to pay me
five million dollars.
I don't understand.
If you inherit money
from me...
you'd be dead.
Probably killed in some
accident that Karl arranged.
I'm sure he'd volunteer
to deliver the eulogy
at your funeral.
Oh, my God, Simone.
Peter...
I didn't realize what Karl
was going to do.
Or maybe I didn't want
to realize it.
And I didn't know you.
I didn't care for you.
But... then I met you
and I fell in love with you,
Peter. I really did.
I told Karl I couldn't
go through with it.
Do you love me now?
Oh, Peter...
I'll only cause you trouble.
That's not what I asked!
(PHONE RINGING)
Yes.
I'll be right down.
That's Karl. He's in the bar.
I believe my friend is
a connoisseur of...
beer?
Nothing, thank you.
Before you say a word,
if you've done anything
to harm my wife,
you know I'll kill you.
Jonathan...
Such needless animosity.
We each have problems.
I thought we could work
together to solve them.
Spit it out, Karl.
All right.
When I first went to France
to find this Simone Grohe,
I discovered she
was a hustler,
specializing in defrauding
wealthy men.
First I...
I didn't even want to
tell Peter she existed.
I have a deep affection
for my cousin.
I didn't want to see him hurt.
There's a violinist
playing outside.
Perhaps I could arrange for
him to stand behind you.
The deal I struck
with Simone was for
Peter's own protection.
She's a common criminal.
I couldn't let her get her
hands on all that money.
The temptation for her to do
something harmful to Peter
would be too powerful.
Ja?
Let me get this straight.
She's the potential killer?
I constructed what I thought
was a fool-proof agreement.
If the marriage was happy,
well, all well and good.
But if something happened
to Peter,
his money
would never be her money.
No, it would be yours.
That is convenient, isn't it?
I have looked after this
inheritance for decades.
I have guarded
Peter's interest.
I have catered to his whims.
Do you think I'm going to
let some...
two-bit fortune-hunter destroy
all this? Do you?
I don't believe a word
you've said, Karl.
And I don't give a damn
what the hell happens to you.
I want my wife back.
Now.
I do not know where she is.
Then you're a dead man.
Somehow I have
the high confidence...
that you will find her safe
and unharmed...
As soon as the wedding
of Peter
and Simone
is consummated.
Ja?
Peter is in love. You don't
have to convince him.
And as far as Simone
in concerned...
I think someone as
successful as you are
can be quite persuasive
when properly
motivated.
So...
I have saved a seat of honor
for you at the wedding.
Please
do not disappoint me.
Or Jennifer.
Auf Wiedersehen.
PETER: I know this is
the right place. It's the east
side of the castle.
I mean, it's got to be
here somewhere.
There it is.
The Donner family must have
put on a few pounds
over the years.
I can't get through there.
Neither can you.
I can.
Darling, you can't
go back in there.
Besides, according to
the plans, there are several
exits inside the castle.
If you choose the wrong one...
I know where they kept me.
I will try there first.
I hope there are no spiders.
I hate spiders.
Lucky for us, there's no
spiders in Germany.
What are you talking about?
Of course there are spiders
in Germany.
Just checking.
Wow!
It's...
amazing!
Fantastic!
(GASPS)
Can you open that again?
I think so.
The control is behind
the Shakespeare.
Shakespeare.
Shakespeare.
There is no Shakespeare!
What?
MAN: They...
multiplied...
like rabbits!
It's no use, Simone.
Just get into that wedding
dress and no one
will get hurt.
Which one of us
are you talking to?
Yes...
Which one of us are you
talking to?
Very clever.
But you've forgotten one
important detail, Mrs. Hart.
On your photograph,
there was no beauty mark.
Ow!
Sorry, Simone.
Nice try,
Mrs. Hart.
Now get into that dress.
Mrs. Hart's life
depends on it.
I'll be back.
No one ever knew
that wasn't real?
No one ever asked.
Aunt Edna, how beautiful,
sehr schoen ... Heinrich!
Why you don't take Aunt Edna
for a glass of champagne?
Beautiful hat.
Hurry, take her quick.
I have a little news for you.
Simone looks stunning
in her wedding dress
and by the way, Mrs. Hart
thinks so too.
And another for me!
How prompt you are, Mr. Hart.
I wouldn't miss it for
the world if it means
getting Jennifer back.
You remember the other day
you advised me to diversify?
Quite prophetic, Mr. Hart.
I am now holding both women.
Don't worry, Mr. Hart.
I have found the real Simone.
And if things continue to go
smoothly,
without interference,
you will find
the real Jennifer.
Nice day for a wedding.
Well, we tried.
If you wouldn't mind,
Jonathan...
now more than ever,
I need a best man.
Pretty as a picture.
You're about to become
a very wealthy woman...
for a while.
Take her downstairs.
I have some business
to conduct
with Mrs. Hart.
(CHURCH ORGAN PLAYING)
(CLEARS THROAT)
Dearly beloved.
We are gathered here...
to join these two people
in holy, wedded matrimony.
I'm truly sorry
about all this,
Mrs. Hart.
If only you hadn't tried
to interfere.
Elsa...
you are making
a terrible mistake.
Karl will be furious!
Will you stop
that fake accent?
You final words...
should be in your own voice.
Elsa!
When we first met, you...
you were wearing a scarf
that was given to you
by your grandmother.
We went to lunch at the
Extra Black.
You were very sick.
Listen to me, Elsa!
Right now, downstairs, Peter
is marrying Jennifer Hart.
(BULLET WHIZZING BY)
ELSA: Help me!
Help me!
No! Leave me!
Find her! Kill her!
If there is anyone here...
who has just cause
as to why these two people
should not be bound together
in holy matrimony
let them speak now
or forever hold their peace.
Well, I object.
(CROWD CLAMORING)
I cannot marry this man
because I'm already married
to this man.
(SCREAMING)
Peter!
Peter!
(GUNSHOT)
Help! Help!
I'll never forget you.
I'll be right back.
Me too.
Mr. Hart!
Prepare to defend yourself!
Damn it! Dummkopf .
Aunt Edna!
You?
Uh-huh.
Atta way, Rocky.
Hmm...
Now let me see,
the face is familiar.
Let me figure this out.
Scaramouch?
Zorro?
Speaking of familiar faces,
how are we gonna get rid
of that beauty mark?
(CHUCKLING)
Just show me to a hot tub
and some clean sheets
and you can figure it out.
Hmm...
(GIGGLING)
PRIEST: If there's
anyone here...
who has just cause
as to why these people
should not be bound
in holy matrimony,
let them speak now
or forever
hold their peace.
Why is everyone looking at me?
I now pronounce you...
husbands and wives.
Yes!
(BARK)
MAX: Jennifer?
Yes, Max?
I told you you were gonna
save my life.
Yes, we're going to take
very good care of that life.
Mrs. Strauss...
Another Freeway!
We thought you needed
a permanent copilot.
Oh, wow!
Well, Peter,
it's been an experience.
Simone...
I feel as if I'm saying
goodbye to myself.
If it had to be someone,
Jennifer, I'm glad it was you.
Thank you.
Amazing.
(LAUGHS)
That must be the car
to take us to the airport.
(WITH A EUROPEAN ACCENT)
Mr. and Mrs. Hart...
You're in plenty of time to
get to the airport before your
plane leaves.
(WHINING)
Was ist los?
Los?
Nothing.
You know...
It's such a nice day.
Why don't we just walk
to the airport?
What a good idea, darling.
I'm right behind you,
all the way.